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Category: Women In Business

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

On St. Patty’s Day, Take Control of Your Luck!

“The luck of the Irish” is a fun notion celebrated with lots of images of shamrocks and leprechauns this time of year in anticipation of St. Patrick’s Day. But when it comes to being seen as a leader, luck has nothing to do with it. As the saying goes, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” So here are four easy steps (one for each leaf on your shamrock) to prepare yourself so that when the opportunity arises, you are ready to create your own “good luck.”

1. Project Confidence

 Whether your hands are steady or your knees are knocking at the idea of speaking to a particular person or group, project an air of poise and confidence. I’m not suggesting you act like a know-it-all or brag arrogantly about an accomplishment, but don’t let them see that you’re nervous. Rather, steady your nerves, take a few deep breaths, smile, make eye contact and own your material as you speak.

Even if someone asks a tough question, calmly acknowledge the premise and give the best answer you can. If you don’t have the answer on hand, matter-of-factly let the person know that you’ll get the answer for them as soon as the meeting is over. Showing grace under fire is a very compelling sign of confidence, and indicates that you have everything under control; you’re not panicking, so they shouldn’t either. That’s the kind of person people what to have in charge.

2. Do Your Research

When you’re going to meet with a particular audience, go beyond preparing your proposal or slide deck, and see what else you can learn about them as people. LinkedIn is a great place to start. How long have they been with the company or in the industry? What alumni associations do they belong to? What hobbies or connections do you have in common? The more areas you can find to relate to them, the more easily they will feel comfortable with you.

About five years ago I had set up a meeting with the VP of human resources of a company I really wanted to work with. The day before we met, I looked her up on LinkedIn, and to my surprise, discovered that her birthday was the very next day. (Who knew LinkedIn had birthday information?)

On the way to the meeting I stopped at the store to pick up a fun card. When we got together, I pulled the envelope out of my bag and said, “By the way, this is for you.”

She looked at me, a bit puzzled, then opened it up. When she saw what it was, her eyes widened in surprised, and with a big smile she asked, “How did you know?”

I just smiled and said, “A little birdie told me.” We’ve been friends ever since, and I’ve done tons of business with the company.

3. Rehearse Your Opening

One massive pitfall for most people is that even though they might plan what they’re going to say in the body of a presentation, when it comes to the introduction, they completely wing it. “It’s just small talk, welcoming people, and setting the agenda,” they think. “I don’t need to practice that.

Au contraire. It’s exactly that simple intro that you need to flesh out and rehearse. Although the concepts are simple, you can’t afford to trip over your words as you fumble for what to say. If the intro is clumsy and awkward, it sets a negative tone and gives a poor first impression, which will taint the audience’s view of the rest of what you’re going to say. Your image and reputation start out behind the eight ball, and then it’s up to you to come from behind rather than starting out front and simply maintaining a comfortable lead.

4. Speak in Your Best Voice

The same way you choose your outfit carefully to dress appropriately for your audience, you should also dress your words in a “suit”-able voice. Your word choice might indicate what you want the audience to think, but your vocal delivery will tell people how you actually feel about what you’re saying. If those messages are conflicting, the voice of doubt almost always wins.

For example, avoid bad habits like “vocal fry,” which is when your voice sounds gravelly like you’re sleepy or not sure about what you are saying. Remember to pause frequently enough when speaking so that you can take another breath, refuel the air tank, and allow a nice, rich, resonant voice to speak in a way that sounds convincing and convinced.

Similarly, up-speak – the vocal pattern that sounds like you’re asking question after question even when there is no question in sight –  can be another grenade to your reputation. That incessant question-like tone sounds like you are constantly seeking validation by implying, “Okay? You know? Am I right?” If you’re truly confident in your material, as any leader should be, you shouldn’t be begging for approval.  Instead, use vocal periods, allowing your voice to drop at the end of each sentence. The declarative tone sounds like you own your material and are in control of the situation.

When you put these four practices together, you’ll project the image of a person who is strong, relatable, and effective. If that becomes your normal speaking pattern, your reputation will speak for itself, so when the right opportunity arises, you won’t need luck.

Now that’s the kind of person I want to have running my projects!

*****

Do you have questions or comments about how to present yourself in the most effective way? Email me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to set up a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me, personally.

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Women In Business

Do You Dance Between the Raindrops?

“The appearance of rain is soothing for some and cursed by others. When rain occurs in your life, define its purpose and use it to your advantage.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Into everyone’s life, some rain must fall.

Some people fret when it rains. They perceive it as a disruption to their normal flow. Such people become deterred from engaging in activities that might otherwise bring opportunities and/or advantages to their endeavors. Through their incumbered mind, they become less mobile. Others dance between the raindrops. They go about their activities with an enhanced sense of purpose. Which one are you?

In this case, raindrops are a metaphor for the unexpected occurrences that happen in life, those occurrences that we’d not planned for or had little anticipation of there eminent appearance. The way you deal with such situations will determine the level of happiness you experience, your perception of how successful you are, and the stability of your mental state of mind.

The point is, raindrops will occur in everyone’s life. It’s the way they perceive such situations that will determine how they interact with those situations. Thus, if you want to achieve more in life, if you want more out of life, if you want to control more of what occurs in your life, learn to dance between the raindrops (i.e. view things from a positive versus negative perspective) … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Raindrops (i.e. unanticipated/unplanned occurrences) occur in most negotiations of substance. If you’re not mentally prepared to address them, you can find yourself digging deeper into a hole of despair into which the waters of despair will populate. That will make the situation worse for you because you’ll start to feel besieged by what may seem to be a barrage of overwhelming activities that you can’t or don’t want to recover from. Obviously, that will put you at a disadvantage in the negotiation.

When you feel the barrage of offers/counteroffers begin to overwhelm you, stop the rain; get out of the environment or find something to buffer your perception.

Here’s what you should remember. You can stop the rain by changing your perception of what’s occurring. That will be the start of what’s really occurring (i.e. your reality is what you perceive it to be). Once you do that, you’ll be able to view what’s occurring from a perspective that’s not so debilitating. Psychologically, that will also allow the endorphins to flow that will give you a mental uptick. That will lead to you becoming a more formidable negotiator.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveYourself

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Women In Business

Are You Talking Too Much?

“Talk less and you could learn more. Talk more and you could end up not knowing what’s being talked about at all.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

You talk too much! That could be the thought of someone you converse with. It would mean that you don’t allow that person to exchange her ideas in the conversation, turning what could be a monolog into a dialog. Not only would your actions indicate that what she’s attempting to say is not important, it also states that you believe what you’re saying is so important that it doesn’t require additional input. That can be a serious turnoff when attempting to exchange information. It becomes a more serious problem when two people are in a relationship. Such behavior can be the slow march to the uncoupling of the relationship.

When you’re really interested in someone, display that interest in the way you communicate. That should be done verbally and nonverbally. The nonverbal display can be made by the nodding of your head at appropriate moments, and/or even the sound of a grunt; just be cautious that a grunt is not perceived as a negative disagreement if that’s not your intent.

In order to communicate more effectively with others, you must display the ability to let the other person feel that you’re being attentive to what they’re saying. To do less than that demeans the other person and places you on a pedestal, from which it may be difficult to descend. Even if you do descend, you may have lost the opportunity to gain greater insight per how that person thinks, which could lead to the loss of greater insight from which you could think on a broader perspective.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, the person that speaks the most will tend to give away his negotiation position, and information that might better be kept undisclosed. That information may also be used against him. That’s one reason why good negotiators will ask follow up questions, while great negotiators will answer a question with a question; it’s the latter’s attempt to gather more information.

When engaging in a negotiation, be an astute listener. Listen to what’s said, how it’s said, and listen for what’s missing. Don’t over talk the other negotiator and don’t be so gabby that you miss the opportunity to gather more information. Once you’re adept at listening more and talking less, the more you’ll be able to see and hear what you’re missing in the negotiation. You’ll be able to magically see the other negotiator through a brighter light of transparency. That will leave you in a very powerful negotiation position … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Bully

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Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Women In Business

Without Focus Your Team Will Fail (So Will You)

I can tell a lot about the leadership and culture of an organization just by mingling with the employees. What I often witness is an unintended disconnect between what leadership thinks employees are focusing on, versus what they are. As a result, employees are overwhelmed. They feel overworked and under appreciated as they run frantically on a daily hamster wheel chasing orders they’ve received by leadership.

Leaders, on the other hand, rarely see themselves as the problem. Instead, they get frustrated with employees who don’t make progress, aren’t productive or producing results. Leaders lose hope when their teams frequently ask for deadline extensions or say the work simply cannot be done.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

What many leaders are guilty of is initially setting priorities, and then derailing team focus by tossing out non-priority related requests throughout each day. It’s not that any leader wants to see their team fail. They just don’t recognize the frequency of their non-priority requests and the amount of time it can steal attention away from employees’ top goals.

If you want to succeed, you must set your team up for success. The only way to do that is to focus your attention on what matters most, then using this as the filter for all decisions and delegation requests thereon.

Here are 5 ways you can help your team maintain focus, boost productivity, increase engagement and boost profits.

1. Establish a non-negotiable set of goals. Whether it’s each day, week, month or quarter, meet with your team and cover the non-negotiable goals that must be reached for success to occur. Create priorities and tasks necessary to accomplish those goals.

2. Communicate frequently. Remind your employees frequently of the goals you agreed up as a team. Challenge each and everyone of them to use those goals as personal filters for their own work and focus.

3. Empower employees to Say ‘No.’ Employees want to please their boss. They want to pursue solutions to areas of stress and ease the burden of leadership. Their natural need to please can easily derail them from priorities and can make them a target for others to steal focus. Empower and implore your team to say ‘no’ to any requests of their time that don’t directly align with the goals and priorities set. That means even empowering them to say ‘no’ to YOU!

4. Be mindful of your requests. Ever sent an employee an email that started out by saying “Wouldn’t it be great if….” Stop it, now. This is where employees get derailed in their focus and lose time and attention on what matters most. Remember their need to please? Well, if you are tossing out great ideas or concepts without filtering them through your agreed upon priorities, your employees will consider this to be a delegation, not a simple conversation. They will stop what they are working on to pursue an answer for you. Before suggesting or asking anything of your team members, ask yourself if the requests falls square in line with the priorities.

5. Stop messaging them after work. Nothing will burn employees out faster than a non-stop barrage of emails, texts and calls after work hours. Give them the break they deserve. Let them focus on friends, family, home life, fitness, and whatever else matters to them personally. Discourage them from checking work-related emails after hours and encourage their personal priorities. Permit them to rest. In turn, you’ll have a more engaged, well-centered team the next business day.

Company culture and tone starts with you. If you want a well-balanced team who is engaged, positive and productive, start by concentrating your attention on what matters most. They, in turn, will do the same. Together, you can achieve deadlines, establish boundaries and create a happier, more productive and profitable organization.

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Accounting Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Skills Women In Business

What You Need to Know About Negotiation Fallacy Dilemmas

“Fallacy dilemmas are only dilemmas to the degree that you allow them life. Test them and you’ll determine to what degree they live.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When negotiating, you should always be aware of fallacy dilemmas. In a negotiation, fallacy dilemmas are offers presented as either/or propositions, whose propositions are opposite one another. They’re presented in such a manner that they seem to be the only available options.

In discussing fallacy dilemmas with some negotiators, they’ve stated that identifying and using fallacies in a negotiation can be confusing. This article will give you insights into how you can engage successfully with them.

Here’s the challenge with fallacy dilemmas, when negotiating such propositions can be positioned to direct your thought process towards either of the options presented. In reality, there may be a number of other possible solutions that get excluded from your thought process simply because you’re being directed to consider only the proposition offered. Thus, other possible solutions are never considered. That’s why you should be mindful of when fallacies are presented.

Nevertheless, while being mindful of fallacy dilemmas being used against you, they can be an extremely useful tool to have. If you employ this tactic/strategy at the right time, you can enhance your negotiation efforts.

How to guard against fallacy dilemmas in your negotiations. 

Most know the premise, if you’ll lie you’ll cheat, and if you’ll cheat you’ll steal! If you accept that premise as a truism, you’re susceptible to the fallacy.

While it may be true that liars who cheat may also steal, or engage in any combination of nefarious activities, it doesn’t mean that every cheater steals, etc. That’s the dilemma of the fallacy.

Therefore, to guard against fallacy dilemmas during a negotiation, don’t accept any proposition as having only two alternatives.

Note: If you’re in the thick of a negotiation and you sense you’re being forced into thinking that there’s only to options, pause. Take time to reflect. Observe what the other negotiator does. If he attempts to push you into making one of the decisions offered, consider slowing the negotiation down by being more deliberate about your options.

How to use fallacy dilemmas in your negotiations.

You know how to guard against this dilemma, flip it to employ its usage against the other negotiator. To be most effective, consider presenting it in two ways.

  1. Quantitative – Use this type of offer when you want to limit the other negotiator’s perspective to a specified range (e.g. would you rather have zero or a thousand); this offer excludes the fact that through payment terms or other arrangements, he might be able to garner more than a thousand.
  2. Qualitative – Implement this method when attempting to alter the emotional mood of the other negotiator (e.g. would you rather walk away with nothing or something).

Body Language – Add value through intonation emphasis.

With body language, in this case nonverbal communication, the words you place greater or lesser emphasis on dictates the importance that those words convey. Such dictation will also convey a sense of importance when presenting your fallacies. As such, consider ahead of time what words you’ll use to convey a sense of needed urgency when making your offers and how that will be of benefit in your fallacy presentation.

Now that you have a greater awareness of fallacy dilemmas (did you catch what I just did about your awareness (i.e. if something is true, it can’t be false)), use them in your negotiations. Know that things get out of control to the degree that you don’t control them. Thus, when presented with an offer consider all of the options associated with the possible solution of that offer … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiationDilemma #FallacyDilemma #EitherOrDilemma

#NegotiatingWithABully #Bullying #Bully #negotiations #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Accounting Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Industries Investing Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

What’s Your Company’s Moral Compass?

Imagine that you’re in the running for a coveted spot in a well-regarded organization for a high-level position. It’s taken you years to get to this place and you really want this job. You wait and wait through the agonizingly long interview process and in the end, you don’t make the grade.

These are the kinds of situations that “try men’s (and women’s) souls.” How you go through the stages of making the decision to apply, to how you tolerate the waiting, to how you manage the disappointment of being overlooked are great indicators of how you handle stress (and life) in general.

This is just one example of how reaching beyond your comfort zone initiates a series of mental challenges. In his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optima; Experience, Michaly Csikszentmihalyi (Harper Collins, New York, NY, 1990)l, spent years researching the question of what makes one happy. Ultimately, according to his findings, the answer to this very illusive inquiry was: “The control of one’s consciousness determines the quality of one’s life.”

In other words, how we internalize and make peace with the myriad of disappointments and loses as well as deal with our successes and celebrations determine our level of satisfaction we experience in our lifespan.

Given that introspection and transformation are such critical factors in every person’s – and ultimately in every company’s well-being, I’m always amazed at how little attention is paid to the recognition of how important this kind of mental training is.

And I specifically use the word “training,” because the mindset needed to weather the ups and downs of life are not natural. Our brains are wired for danger and spew forth an endless sea of worst-case scenarios. These peak performance skills need to be taught We learn them, either through the school of “hard knocks” – which can take a lifetime – or through parents, teachers, coaches and mentors.

What then, is the role of the company?  Business is business, and the bottom line is the barometer of success or failure.

Yet, the world is changing. The balance of power is shifting, and employees are demanding a more human approach to their work experience – which is in greater synergy to the more spiritual yearnings of mankind. They are asking their companies to honor higher moral values, such as a sense of purpose, respect for family life, racial and gender equality, awareness of individual differences and authenticity, to name a few. In other words, they are asking their organization to be “conscious.”

To be “conscious” means to be transparent, to allow oneself to be vulnerable, to accept responsibility for one’s own behavior and to be on the path of continuous personal and transformational growth. Where is your company on this moral compass?

Here are three ways you can begin to tackle this worthy challenge:

1. Make Your Own Personal Growth a Priority

Wherever you are in the hierarchy of leadership, ask yourself, “Where am I on my own path of personal growth?” Have I invested my efforts to be the best person I can be? Do I have a trusted advisor that helps me see my own blind spots? Every highly successful person I know has someone in their corner who helps them navigate those precarious situations that keep them up at night.

2. Listen to your employees.

Goal setting is a common measure of performance in companies. But when people don’t reach their goals, do you really know why they don’t? There are ways of increasing the level of meaningful communication between managers and employees that go way beyond the traditional semi-annual or annual reviews. Beaconforce, a startup here in San Francisco is one of those innovative companies that have a great solution to this problem.

3. Train Your Employees for the Olympics

As I mentioned above, a resilient mindset is critical for sustainable growth. It may sound like Utopia, but imagine you had an entire organization of individuals who had the mental fortitude to handle the daily pressures of work and life outside of work. Did you know that $1 billion is lost in productivity in the US alone due to stress-related absences? These stress management and peak performance skills, as I said, can be learned. Be that company who understands, appreciates, and puts into action, the concept that all change in your organization and the world, begins with each and every individual having a healthy and resilient mental mindset.

If you’d like to dive deeper to learn more about your own level of Peak Performance skills, go to http://masteryunderpressure.net or join our Facebook community at Mastery Under Pressure Community.

Or contact me directly for a 30-minute complimentary consult at tina@tinagreenbaum.com

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Are We Being Negative?

Negativity. It is emotionally draining. We are bombarded with negative messages all day long. I was on LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook over the weekend and I had to log out after only a few minutes on each platform.

There were so many quotes that start with “don’t”. So many opinions about things that quite frankly, are immaterial, or opinions about things that really did not happen.

We have become so accustomed to just putting it out there, everywhere. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves, “are we being negative?”

  • Instead of being sarcastic be kind.
  • Instead of being rude be respectful.
  • Instead of lying be honest or silent.
  • Instead of self-righteous be understanding.
  • Instead of judgmental be forgiving.
  • Instead of fearful be hopeful.

Emotions are contagious. How we think and feel affects those around us. Be positive. The power of positive thinking is amazing!

Think of best-case scenarios and work towards those goals.  Greet people with a smile and say “hello!” Let someone else have that parking spot. Take a deep breath and practice patience. Share a laugh. Say, “sorry”. Ask for help. Do your best.

Have a wonderful day!

Michelle Nasser, Executive Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Teaching you how to make the best decisions for your organization.

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Women In Business

What’s Behind the Curtain?

“In life, sometimes it appears that we’re controlled by invisible forces. Understand those forces and you’ll have greater control of your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

What’s behind the curtain of your life? Are you aware of what motivates your actions and why you interact with others in the manner you do? I ask because, the more we know what moves us, the more we’ll know about where and when to move. That insight becomes our source of motivation and our sense of inspiration; it will become the driving force that drives us to become more of a force than we are.

As you engage in your daily activities, take note of why you do some of the things you do; note especially those activities that are misaligned with what you should be doing. If something is pulling you off-track, you should be mentally aware of why it’s doing so. Not until you’re mentally aware of it, can it be altered. You should also know, we are driven by our subliminal thoughts; they override our conscious thoughts. That means, when you’re unsure as to why you engage in something, it’s your subconscious mind that’s driving you.

Going forward, acknowledge and be grateful for what you have, and really appreciate it. Reflect on what you value and how it came to be; the spillover benefit will come in the form of the endorphins that’ll occur. They’ll make you feel happier about life, improve your psyche, and motivate you to achieve more in your life.  That, in turn, will lead to even greater happiness and success … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Sometimes, we don’t appreciate what we’ve achieved in a negotiation. Nor do we appreciate the skills that we’ve accumulated that has allowed us to obtain the gains we’ve made. If you understand what’s behind your thought process (i.e. it’s makeup), you’ll be in greater touch with the feelings you have. That, in turn, should allow you to focus on what you’ve achieved in the negotiation and what’s important about those achievements. If you don’t want to lose them, protect them. That may mean exiting the negotiation at that time.

You may have a myriad of negotiation tactics and strategies that you employ at the precise moment that such is required. Remember where that knowledge came from. Recalling the sources of your thoughts will allow you to return to those sources for the purpose of refreshment and enhancement. That’s why it’s important to understand what’s behind the curtain of your life, of your mind. Those sources are direct links to what you’ve become, and from which your negotiation skills have grown.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveyourself

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Accounting Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Women In Business

Do You Know How to Negotiate With a Bully?

“When negotiating with a bully, assume nothing and question everything.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Negotiating with a bully, or anyone that acts in an obstinate manner can be a difficult proposition. Such encounters can leave you haggard, bewildered, and in a sense of bedazzlement. Stated simply, it can leave you emotionally drained. But, if you know how to negotiate with a bully, you don’t have to risk jeopardizing your sanity or peaceful state of mind.

When you find yourself negotiating with a bully, consider employing the following strategies to lessen his impact.

1. First, identify why the bully feels he can bully you. There’s something that he’s perceived about your demeanor that marks you as a target. Once you discover that, you can alter your demeanor to appear more formidable. Just an FYI, you should alter his perspective of you prior to entering into the negotiation.

2. Understand his source of power. A bully’s mindset is one of picking on people that he perceives to be weaker than himself. His perception stems from his support system (i.e. those that back him), along with his perspective of what he’s achieved versus what he perceives you to possess (e.g. he has friends in higher places, more money, greater status, etc.) To combat his perception, create the persona of someone that’s also connected. You can do this by emulating the bully’s support system.

3. Appear fearless when such is required. A bully will ‘push your buttons’ to discover ways to manipulate you. Everyone is familiar with the schoolyard bully. He picks on the kids that won’t stand up to him. When they do, he usually moves to a target that is less challenging. When dealing with a bully in a negotiation, you have to be defiant when defiance is called for. Remember, the bully will only push you to the point that you allow him and, he’ll continue to push as long as you allow him. Unfortunately, history has taught us this lesson time and time again when dealing with tyrants; tyrants are nothing more than bullies with a bigger platform.

4. Observe body language – In particular, look for nonverbal signs of submission and those that are out of sync with his verbiage (e.g. bully leaning away from you when making a demand – potential sign of him retreating and testing your resolve, softening his demeanor when he senses that you’re displaying backbone, making request with ending statement sounding like a question). Such observations will give you greater insight into what his next action(s) might be and his psyche.

5. Consider how you can have embedded commands in your offers, suggestion, and/or concessions. As an example, observe the statement in bold in the first paragraph of this article. It states, ‘you know how to negotiate with a bully’. Such subliminal messaging may not be observed by the conscious mind, but they will be perceived at a subconscious level. Therein is where it can have an influence on the other negotiator. To combine the effects, lace several subliminal messages together. Use them as needed and apply them judiciously.

While negotiating with a bully can be trying, if you employ some of the suggestions mentioned above, you can decrease the bully’s effectiveness. In so doing you’ll make yourself less desirable from being targeted for bullying by the bully … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Bullying #Bully #negotiations #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

The 40-Day Leadership Challenge

Aren’t there times when you wish you could yell “do over!” and start with a clean slate, like you did as a kid? The good news is, even though it might not be enough to simply declare the “do over,” it is possible to start again on a clean page. How? Take my 40-Day Leadership Challenge.

For Christians, the forty days before Easter are known as Lent, reflecting the forty days that Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert before his crucifixion and resurrection. During this time, many people make forty-day sacrifices like giving up sweets, eating in between meals, or video games; or making some extra effort like reading the Bible daily, or volunteering at a soup kitchen. The idea is that it should be a time of purification, after which you emerge as a better person and closer to God. But it strikes me that, at a deeper level, there is a universally valuable leadership challenge and lesson inherent in this kind of experience.

Everyone has some relationship, whether professional or personal, that could be improved. Maybe there’s someone who perpetually rubs you the wrong way. Or on a grander scale, maybe you need to project a more compelling leadership image you project for people to see you as a leader to admire. Fundamentally, relationships are made and broken by the communication patterns they promote, and it’s up to you to take the first step towards making these patterns healthier, more respectful and more productive, based on how you choose to communicate.

All you have to do is take that first step today, and then another one each day for the next 39 days. That’s your personal 40-Day Leadership Challenge. Pick something that is difficult enough so that you can’t do it mindlessly; it will require a conscious effort for it to be successful. The goal is that after 40 days, you will replace old, bad habits with positive new ones, which will not only make you a better person, but will improve the lives of others around you.

So where should you start? You might choose to “fast” from gossip or snarky comments, both in conversation and email. Hold your tongue instead of criticizing someone in public even when others do, or let the other person get the last word even when you want to add more.

Perhaps you have a tendency to be blunt, dramatic or insensitive in some contexts. If that’s the case, try committing to a 40-day diplomacy challenge. You could also abstain from exaggeration, swearing, or drama for 40 days, or opt to walk away from a conversation when you feel yourself starting to get heated – then be sure to follow up later when you feel more focused and composed.

On the flip side, maybe you try to avoid conflict at all costs. For you, the challenge could be committing to address problems rather than letting them fester and hoping they go away on their own.

If nothing else, try this: Simply make an effort to explicitly thank people for their efforts, big or small. You’ll be amazed at what a big impression such a small gesture can make. I promise you it won’t go unnoticed.

Remember: it doesn’t have to be 40 days of consecutive perfection; it’s about 40 days of conscious effort to be a better person, and a better leader. Even if you fall off the proverbial bandwagon occasionally, it’s okay! Try putting a dollar in a jar every time you realize you’ve broken your commitment, and after your 40 days, donate the money in the jar to charity. No matter how often you put money in the “oops” jar, you still get to call a “do over” the next day!

And the best part? It doesn’t matter which 40 days you choose, whether at the start of the new year, during your summer vacation or any other time. By the end of your 40 Day Leadership Challenge, others will feel the difference through smoother and more collaborative exchanges, and your new patterns should start to feel natural and replace the old ones. That’s the best way to build the foundation of a new kind of leadership that makes others want to follow suit.

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Want to discuss your potential 40-Day Leadership Challenge? Email me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click to set up a 20-minute focus call with me personally.