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“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Reading micro-expressions can help avert crises. But only if your interpretation is accurate.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better”

A pale expression held his face. Holy ‘blank’ was the four-letter word obscenity he uttered. We’re in a full-blown crisis! Dumbfounded, he said, what are we going to do now? We have to negotiate with them! His associate said, let’s meet with our adversaries. We can read their micro-expressions during the meeting to gain insight into their real thoughts and feelings. That’ll allow us to know what’s really on their minds.

Do you know how to read micro-expressions? Do you know what they are? Continue reading, and you’ll be able to answer both of those questions. Plus, you’ll discover how you can use them when you’re in a crisis.

 

Micro-expressions:

Micro-expressions are emotional displays that last for less than a quarter of a second. They reflect the reality of someone’s thoughts at that moment. Hence, if you’re able to interpret someone’s emotional displays accurately, you’ll have insight into their current emotional state. Doing that will give you insight into how they feel about an offer or statement. During a crisis, having this insight gives you real-time information about the direction you should take.

There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone throughout the world

  • Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.
  • Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before charging.
  • Disgust – This micro-expression is displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is wrinkled.
  • Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
  • Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer. You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
  • Sadness – Note sadness through drooping eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
  • Happiness – Happiness is shown through wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile, and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this gesture.

 

Using Micro-expressions In Crisis Intervention

Knowing someone’s real thoughts allows you to understand their source of motivation – and that’s the benefit of being able to read someone’s expressions.

During a crisis, use the unannounced information you’ve gathered and assess how strong the opposition is. From there, determine the degree of mental or real force to summon. Another plus is the ability to evaluate the commitment that those on the opposing side have to one another. Accordingly, if you can identify those with less alliance, you may be able to separate them from the others. Therefore, you’d be weakening their numerical strength, which may assist in decreasing their overall power.

Once you’ve gathered the mentioned insights, consider different ways to use them to your benefit. As an example, you might:

  • create false scenarios to confuse the other party per the direction they should take
  • align some of your stronger positions with their weaker ones (do this to keep their stronger points at bay) – then you can state that you’re trying your best to meet their needs
  • form a splinter group, consisting of those from your side, theirs, and neutral stakeholders to combat the overall strength of the opposing party – this maneuver is akin to divide and conquer, with the benefit of your team becoming stronger, while their’s become diluted.

 

Feigning Micro-expressions

While genuine micro-expressions give insight into one’s mind, you can fake them. As an example, you can exaggerate contempt by turning one corner of your lip up and allowing it to linger longer than a micro-expression. Even if the other person didn’t initially observe your expression, you could ask if he saw what you’d done. Regardless, you’ll have him on the defense by asking questions and him answering them.

 

Confront With Caution

There’s nothing more daunting than sizing up an adversary and not identifying its true leader. That means you must be hyper-aware of who your real opponent is and the decision-making abilities they have. You’ve heard about the power behind the throne. Even more so during a crisis, that’s who you want to confront. Your rivals may have a shared leadership structure or using a front-person as the face of their team. They’d do that to confuse you.

To identify a power source, observe who might look at whom for confirmation before making or accepting an offer. You can also detect subtle signals per the hesitation in committing that act. That’s where your observance of micro-expressions will lend assistance in identifying a person fronting as one possessing power.

 

Reflection

Being able to identify and interpret micro-expressions accurately will give you an enormous advantage in any situation. During a crisis, having this skill will magnify your power exponentially. So, if you use this ability wisely, you’ll deter and avert more crises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Expressions #Micro-expressions #crisis #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life” – Negotiation Insight

 

“The myth about supremacy is, it is a myth. Because everyone’s insights add value to the whole, even if their insights detract from the thoughts about the superiority of others.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life”

 

Don’t allow the supremacy myth to destroy your unrealized opportunities due to the way you think.

We don’t need their input. We’re superior in every way to them – said one associate to the other. So, they entered into a bargaining session with those they assumed were inferior, and became obliterated! Since they went into the situation with a superior mindset, they’d not considered options that might have improved what became their dismal outcome. They didn’t prepare appropriately per thoughts they should have pondered. And that was to their detriment.

Continue reading, and you’ll gather insights to improve your interactions with other people. Because, even if you don’t define yourself as having myths about others, others have them about you. And since everyone is codependent upon each other, ignoring this illusion can prevent future advancements in thinking for you and them. Without that improvement, everyone will advance at a slower pace.

 

Impact of Thoughts

As someone of authority, have you considered how myths impact your life? If your first thought was, I don’t think others are inferior – you should reconsider your belief. Everyone considers himself above others in some cases. You may view the disheveled homeless person, the ticket-taker on the train or those in other environments to be inferior. The point is, recognize your reality for what it is. From that point, you can begin to deal with your version of the myth. That’s important because that myth might be hampering the advancement of your life based on the way you think.

 

The Problem With Supremacy

Thinking you’re superior to others taints your mind. It affirms misconceptions that you possess that may hamper your interactions with others. And that can place you at a disadvantage when you’re trying to sway someone to adopt your position. Worse, you’ll lose time and attrition on aspects that might have otherwise advanced that position.

Always be aware of what you say about the abilities of others. And be more aware of the inner thoughts you possess about such feelings. Because that’s the message you’ll project in the way you act towards them.

 

Identifying Your Fears

Fear may be driving your beliefs about your supremacy. If so, are you aware of what you fear? The point is, you should examine why you hold such views to be truths if you do. Because you’re alienating yourself from those that you may use as allies in a best-case scenario. In a worst-case scenario, you’re turning them into adversaries.

By identifying your source of motivation, you’ll have a point from which to address your supremacy challenges. That will allow you to shift your mind, which will lead to self-improvement and your positioning with others. That means the more open you are to their viewpoints, even if you don’t initially agree with them, the better your chances will be of understanding their perspective. From there, you’ll become more sensitized, which should place you and them on a better road of consideration, which should lead to better outcomes.

 

Reflection

When you’re in any role, leadership, or non-leadership, you must possess top-of-mind awareness of how you view people. If you consider others to be inferior, you’ll attempt to cast that demeanor upon them. Some will resist, and others will fight you for the insult you toss their way. That can dampen your position and make it more challenging to deal with them.

People see the world differently. That’s due to the experiences and environments they’ve encountered. Therefore, if you wish to improve conditions in a situation, consider availing yourself to the thoughts and opinions of those that don’t come from your background, and those that haven’t shared your experiences. Having their added viewpoint will allow you to see conditions from another perspective. It will also open the spectrum of new opportunities. Those will become the opportunities that will increase the chances of improvement for everyone involved … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Supremacy #life #Myths #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise” – Negotiation Insight

 

“All promises have expiration dates. Don’t let yours expire without reaping its rewards.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise”

 

… They needed to increase their perception of power. So, they sought an ally to enhance that perception. They made a promise to support that ally’s efforts from that point into the future.

But when a new leader gained power, he abandoned his ally. The ally, upon reflection, realized they were pawns in their former partner’s game. They’d been betrayed and sold out because they no longer had the value they once possessed. Within their ranks, they asked the question, what is the expiration on a promise?

That question is one that you should ponder about every situation. Things constantly change. And thus, parameters formed in one alliance can alter a promise when people form other partnerships. So, if you feel the ground shifting, take note of where it’s flowing. That noted change will signal the possible need to develop new alliances. A promise will only last as long as it serves a purpose. To assess when it may begin to lose its commitment, consider the following.

 

Where you were

Knowing the environment a promise was made in, and the surrounding circumstances that led to its creation will give you a starting point from which to monitor its party’s commitment. Consider who the players were that entered into the alignment that made the promise. And, consider their source of power moving into the future. Making that assessment can serve as a bell-weather that indicates when you should consider forming new alliances. Being blind to such occurrences can leave you in a darkness that’s fraught with danger.

 

Your journey

As you reflect on the dilemma of lost trust, due to broken promises, think of the path that you and your allies have traveled. Consider what might have led or is leading to a separation of support you’ve provided for each other. Partnerships don’t dissolve overnight. There are always pending signs of potential danger. Look for them and heed warning signs on your path. Think about the variables that transpired that you possibly ignored due to circumstances that you didn’t want to consider or those that you intentionally chose to ignore. The purpose of that is to assess the mindset that you and your ally had as you traveled to the place that you now find the relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do now to increase my perceived value? Who might I align with to improve my position? And where might that alignment lead? You need firm footing to escape a slippery slope. Connecting with those that can extend support might be the support required to do just that.

 

Where you are

Now, you’re in a very precarious situation. Your most reliable ally has deserted you. And, you’re left surrounded by your enemies. What do you do? To survive, you must create new alliances. And you have to consider the trust factor. And you must ask, how long might a promise they make last? The answer that echoes back is, now is not the time to worry about that. You’re in survival mode.

If you want to survive, you must do whatever is required to sustain yourself. That may even include making alliances with the devil. Meaning, you may have to stretch very far outside of your comfort zone. But if survival is meaningful to you, you’ll do what it takes to prevent you from being taken by what you do.

 

Reflection

When you find yourself in a less than tenable position, due to broken promises, don’t be Pollyannaish. Look at your dilemma for what it is, not necessarily the way you want it to be. Everything changes. And as they do, they don’t have to leave you in a lurch. You can prevent that from occurring by being aware of shifting alliances and making sure that you’re aligned with powers that will remain powerful. Do that as long as an association serves your needs, and you’ll be less likely to be broken by broken promises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Promise #Expiration #Reflection #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Investing Marketing Personal Development Sales

The Time Value of Selling Value

You are probably aware of the time value of money, but did you know that there is also a time value of selling value?

In the finance world, when someone talks about the time value of money, they mean that a dollar received now is worth more than a dollar received in the future.  This is true even when that future dollar is absolutely a sure thing.  The idea is that you could invest today’s dollar and have more money than if you had gotten one dollar in the future.

In the sales world, building value early in your customer’s buying process pays more than building value late.  A customer’s mind is more receptive to placing value on a solution before they have started on the price justification/negotiation stage of their buying process.  The time value of selling value holds true even if your solution is not fully defined, as long as an outcome they will achieve is.

Let’s unpack this by looking at how value builds in the customer’s mind.

Value is About Differentiated Outcomes

Customers don’t buy your product or service.  They buy outcomes.  Customers buy for their own reasons, not necessarily the ones you gave them to buy.

Every purchase decision depends upon a customer connecting an offer to an outcome they desire. No outcome, sale.

There are four kinds of outcomes, illustrated below:  Outcomes are either negative (pain) or positive (opportunities).  There are known/expected outcomes and those a customer hasn’t envisioned yet (but which a trusted advisor might open their eyes to). The old sales training advice about “uncovering pain points” covers only one of the four quadrants above (top left). Think of all the potential value you miss when all your salespeople do is go after this low-hanging fruit.   As bad as that sounds, it gets worse.  This quadrant is where all of your competitors swarm.  Differentiation is often minimal here.  When all competitors look the same, guess what the customer’s decision comes down to (spoiler alert: it involves getting ground down mercilessly on price).

Value is About Expected Outcomes

Also, customers don’t buy “you” (I get the value of credibility, but if your offer doesn’t accomplish anything for a customer, it doesn’t matter how much they “know, like, and trust” you).  Customers buy an expected result.  Thus, “expected” is where your credibility comes in.  Value, therefore, grows as faith in an outcome grows. Personal credibility and proof documentation helps builds belief/faith in an outcome…no more, no less.

Value also grows as the picture of that outcome becomes more clear and detailed — in the customer’s mind. Contrary to what “rational model” economic theory predicts, real customers don’t automatically hear an outcome described and engage in detailed self-analysis of all financial impacts of any individual outcome…much less all of the outcomes available.  Accomplished value sellers help prospects build detailed mental pictures…envisioning themselves achieving outcomes and follow-on outcomes. Some trainers call this “selling beyond the sale”.  Telling stories is a great way to kickstart this process, but personalization should follow.

Value, by Definition, is Desirability of Expected Outcomes

After envisioning comes evaluating the desirability of outcomes. Desire is good.  Strong desire is better.  Desire one can justify to one’s peers in a complex sale is…power.  Specifically, it’s pricing power.

Elite selling involves guiding a customer through a process of measuring the desire for an outcome monetarily.  Once desirability is measured in dollars, euros, yen, etc., value comes into full form.  You and your customer can confidently discuss price against a known, quantified value. Discounting is less frequent. More importantly, your price exception/discounting process becomes more disciplined and objective.

Timing is Everything in Selling Value

Selling value is the art of building a detailed, monetized picture of outcomes in each prospect’s mind.  Let’s look at the components of value-building at different stages in the customer’s buying process (aka the customer journey).

  • Imagine building credibility near the beginning of the customer’s buying journey.  Now imagine trying to build it late.
  • Imagine helping them envision unexpected outcomes early.  Now imagine trying to do it while they are comparing proposals against each other.
  • Imagine showing proof of an outcome early…versus doing it to combat discounting pressure.
  • Imagine asking them to envision all of the follow-on/related results early…versus late.
  • Imagine talking to a customer about the annual cost impact of some challenges they are experiencing. What does that feel like to a customer during discovery…and what does it feel like if you start exploring it during price negotiations?

How many opportunities in your funnel right now are you feeling worse about? Did this just make you second-guess your forecast?  If we could get your salespeople to build value early, what do you think would happen to 1) probability of winning 2) need to discount?

The graph above illustrates that the opportunity to build value for your offer has pretty much passed right when customers start comparing offers and negotiating price.

Can you see why there is a time value to selling value?

Good News/Bad News

Ask your salespeople “what value does this customer see in our solution” as a sales coaching question. If your salespeople can articulate detailed value, they’ve covered all the steps above really well.  In fact, you can probably enter a highly accurate forecast for that opportunity by looking at the total customer value versus your price.

It the salesperson can’t articulate clear value, they either haven’t sold value or your offer doesn’t have any (to that customer in that opportunity).  In the former case, some high-impact coaching might rescue the deal if it’s early enough. In either case, a low-to-lost deal forecast might be the right course of action.

Want to talk about how to apply these principles in your sales team?  Contact me.  Also, feel free to like, share, or comment below.

To your success!

Categories
Best Practices Investing Marketing Personal Development Sales

“Sales Isn’t Brain Surgery”…Or Is It?

While a sales career doesn’t require the extensive education and licensing as a surgical career, a great sales professional shares some similar traits.

My wife is a surgeon…she performs advanced procedures through tiny incisions, accomplishing radical changes in her patients’ bodies and lives through tiny keyhole-sized openings.  I’m in awe of what she can do, and its impact.  I’m crazy proud of her and what she does and try every day to rise to her elite level in my very different field.

A truly great – buyer-focused — sales professional will find several similarities.  Top tier salespeople actually perform non-contact brain surgery. mandate

Big Impacts Through a Narrow Field of View

While I don’t save lives for a living, what I do is still pretty cool. I am an expert on customer value…something that exists only inside the customer; specifically, in a customer/client’s mind. I help salespeople open their clients’ minds to previously unconsidered – yet strongly appreciated — outcomes.

Like a minimally-invasive surgeon operating through a ‘scope, salespeople only have a tunnel-vision view into what’s going on in a customer’s mind.  My specialty is teaching sales professionals how to affect customer’s minds, businesses, and lives through that small window between seller and customer’s mind.

The Role of Generalist Expertise and Acumen

Surgeon and sales consultants are both more effective when we are genuine experts in the whole patient/client.  One of us learned anatomy, biochemistry, and physiology to help understand what a patient’s symptoms and labs really mean. The other of us learned economics, earned a top business degree, has managed a P&L, and grown successful ground-breaking businesses…and has been involved in failure or two. My value to my clients is the ability to interpret my clients’ symptoms through a deep/wide business acumen.

Likewise, customer-centric selling requires that sellers provide valued consultant-like insights for their prospects and customers.  A salesperson can’t provide insight/perspective into something they don’t understand.  I’m passionate about providing sales forces next-level business acumen, so they can position themselves ahead of their competitors.

Domain Expertise and Situational Mastery

My wife is an expert in one area of the body, and various ways to fix things when that part of the body is injured or diseased.  When she’s operating through a ‘scope, she knows exactly what all that confusing jumble of stuff is, where she needs to cut, and what she needs to preserve.  She knows what’s coming next, and what lies beneath the part she’s working on, just out of sight.  When things don’t look “textbook”, she’s either seen that anomaly before or can confidently deal with it.  Each operation is individualized to the patient, not the other way around.

I do the same thing, with organizations, not organisms.

Value-focused organizations put their salespeople in a position to either be expert, to anticipate, to accommodate, and/or to seamlessly call in needed expertise as-needed, when-needed.  Facilitating a buying process the customer is usually inexperienced in, helping them through the tough parts by virtue of the sales person’s experience in that domain.

Another thing:  great salespeople don’t blindly shove canned (even brilliantly persona-tailored, technologically sharpened) value messages into every patient’s — oops, prospect’s — brain.  I teach clients to apply value messages surgically:  confirming first whether application caused any value to form between the prospect’s ears, and then what kind and how much.

Closing is Only the End of the Beginning. Focus on Outcomes

My wife’s complication rates and patient outcomes are far superior to peer and industry averages.  This isn’t just because of her technique in the OR, but about her mastery of patient counseling, recovery, and post-op care, and how she develops an exceptionally de-siloed care pathway…focused on patient success.  She knows what world-class looks like and helps those around the patient deliver the care that ensures great outcomes.

I help my clients think not just until the close, but to plan seamlessly to customer success.  I harp on the mantra that there is no after-sale care, but between-sales care.

Customer-focused sellers know that signing the contract is the moment when the pressure to perform starts for your customer. There are several good ways to handle the transition and a bunch of wrong ones. If your business involves repeat-, cross-, or upselling, a world-class approach to implementation and outcome assurance is your only option.

Passion for the Profession

I don’t get called in for emergency life-saving surgery in the middle of the night, but we both love what we do for our respective patients/clients.

I want my clients to learn to walk, then run without me over their shoulder. This doesn’t happen by pushing them out on their own too soon…but it also means aggressive support in the early going so that they leave the hospital, umm…engagement, prepared for their own development.

Unlike a surgeon like my wife, my ideal client is one who is doing OK, but knows they could be doing better.  Are you and your salespeople treating opportunities like everyday complex selling situations, when you know in your heart that what you sell could be elevated to mission-critical for your customers?  Perhaps we need to set a time for a consultation.

To Your Success!

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“To avoid danger, control the conversations that lead to it. And, to do that, know how to control conversations.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better”

 

Two agents were working undercover as they discussed an update with their informant. They were seated in a recessed area in an attempt to keep their conversation private and to avoid danger. They wanted to control the environment as much as possible. Suddenly, a panhandler walked over and aggressively began to ask for money. One agent said pleasantly, no. But the person persisted by asking, why not? The agent said, no, again. Still, the person continued their plea for money. Finally, the agent growled as he said in a loud voice, I said no! Stunned, the beggar turned and quickly walked away.

Potential danger always surrounds you, even during negotiations (you’re always negotiating). In some cases, you avoid it by staying outside of its bounds. At other times, you prevent it by the way you control conversations in an environment.

When the agents turned their attention back to their update, the informant asked, did you think that person was dangerous? The agent said, no. That beggar didn’t accept my answer the first few times. So, I had to alter the delivery of my words. By changing the tone of my reply and sounding more hostile, the panhandler sensed my, no, response as being more definitive. That’s why he walked away at that point.

Consider the following techniques to increase your control as you negotiate with those that might attempt to be defiant or with those that you’d like to control better.

 

Block and Bridge

Block and bridge is one way to alter the flow of a conversation. You’d implement its use as a conversation began to head in an unwanted direction – one that you feared would cause you to lose control of the discussion or interaction. You might also consider employing it when you wanted to enhance the flow of a conversation.

To invoke its use, when someone began making statements that you disagreed with, or citing accounts not aligned with where you wanted to take the conversation, block their comments. As an example, you can say, you have a point (block), and the outcome was less than expected (bridge). I suggest we take the following approach. It’s known to have better results.

The manner you block someone’s comments depends on the severity of the situation. If it’s one that might escalate to a high degree of irritation, you might consider blocking the other person’s statements with a harsh tone and words. If that’s not required, consider being milder in your intonation and demeanor.

 

Answering Questions With Questions

Answering questions with questions is an excellent way to gather more information than you give. It also allows you to control a conversation. Because the person asking questions is controlling the flow of the discussion. And that occurs as long as the other party is answering questions.

To implement this strategy, ask a question in response to one that’s asked of you. Do this instead of answering the initial query. Thus, instead of providing an answer to that question, you’d respond with one of your own.

As an example, if someone says, do I have to take this course of action? Your response might be, what do you think will happen if you don’t take this course of action? You’ve not answered the question. And if you get a response, you’ve gained more insight into the individual’s thoughts. Along with a possible solution to a situation if you choose to implement that person’s response.

 

Listening To What’s Not Said

Many people consider themselves good communicators because they pay attention to what someone says. In reality, you can be a better communicator and control conversations better by observing what’s someone doesn’t say.

As an example, if someone said, I didn’t do what you said I did. You might consider a person’s answer to mean, I didn’t do what you said I did. Yes, I did it, but not the way you stated it.

By listening for what’s not said, and the response of how something’s said, you’ll gain better insight and control of someone’s statements. You’ll also know more about how that person is communicating. And that will be worth its weight in gold.

 

Reflection  

In every environment, and every negotiation you’re in, think about how you’ll control that environment. In particular, consider how you’ll avoid dangerous situations, what form of control you’ll use, and where that might take you in your encounter. Because the better you control conversations, the more power and control you’ll have in every negotiation and situation that you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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Marketing Personal Development

In your clients own words

NYC Branded Lifestyle Portraits Speaker Consultant Lou Diamond working on computer

Stop talking and let those you serve speak on your behalf.

So, I have this problem where I like to talk a lot, especially about the work I do with speakers, authors, and other expert-based businesses.

I get very excited, the sweat starts going, the cursing gets ramped up and my hands start to flail around like they have a mind of their own.

I sometimes have to catch myself, but never do. 

It’s because I love talking about visual storytelling and lifestyle portraiture – it’s in my blood and wholeheartedly believe every word I say. 

Although I understand that sharing this level of passion for the services I provide my clients is important, I also understand that my words alone are not enough to pique people’s interest in hiring me for my specialized help.

They need to hear from people who’ve experienced the process. 

They need to hear from people who were in their shoes and have come out on the other side much better off for the experience working with you.

For many years, I was under the impression that the work I created with clients speaks for itself.

Guess what?

It doesn’t.

Although a picture is worth a thousand words, it never opens its mouth to share them. 

That’s why I provide space for my clients to do so…

…and so should you!

Whether in written, audio-only or in video format, sharing your client’s thoughts on how you helped them with some aspect of their business is an extremely effective way for you to gain the attention of those who need you most. 

In addition to it representing social proof, these testimonials provide your audience an opportunity to put themselves in the shoes of the person whose life and business has improved as a direct result of your products, services, and specialized attention. 

This helps create a direct connection between you and your audience, which goes a long way to developing a deeper connection and trust. 

Once you gain their trust, that’s when these audience members become paid clients who buy your book, attend your workshops and sign up for your online training programs. 

BEFORE YOU SOLICIT OLD CLIENTS FOR TESTIMONIALS…

Keep one important point in mind:

These testimonials are not for you. 

They’re for those who read them so they can understand how you solve people’s points of friction in their businesses and lives.

Please don’t simply ask them to write a sentence or two about how amazing you are! 

This isn’t enough. 

What your audience wants to know is why the experience was amazing. And it’s your job to guide your clients when they’re crafting these testimonials to do just that.

GIVE THEM TESTIMONIAL QUESTIONS

When I first started sending out a list of questions to my clients, I felt very uncomfortable about it. I felt that it was a burden.

But then I started reading the testimonials I received and realized that this exactly what was needed in order to paint the full picture of the experience. 

In addition, I received a few thank you’s from those who leveraged the questions to create the testimonial because it made their lives easier.

They didn’t need to guesstimate what I wanted them to talk about – they simply answered the questions, combined them into several paragraphs and posted it to my LinkedIn page.

Done.

FORMAT FOR CREATING TESTIMONIAL QUESTIONS

Everyone has their own way of communicating and sensibilities, so, rather than talk about how you word your questions, I feel it’s more valuable to talk about the types of questions that need to appear in your testimonial request.

Remember, it’s not a blurb of how amazing you are.

It’s a story that shares the value of how you positively affected someone’s life and business. 

Here’s how you can set up that story.

TESTIMONIAL QUESTION 1 – WHERE WERE YOU IN YOUR BUSINESS THAT YOU NEEDED TO CONTACT ME?

This is an extremely important question for your clients to answer. This is the entry point for those reading to start relating themselves to this person. 

This question fleshes out your testimonial clients initial points of friction that necessitated them booking a call with you.  Either the reader has the exact same friction in their life, or they can relate to it.

And this is exactly what you want. 

You want the reader to compare themselves to your testimonial client. While this question elicits an answer that’s all about their pain, there’s a happy ending to this story. 

Allow readers to envision themselves experiencing that same happy ending. 

TESTIMONIAL QUESTION 2 – DESCRIBE THE EXPERIENCE

Allow your testimonial client to share all of the juicy goodness that represents working with you.

Now this could actually be fleshed out through a series of questions that each focus on one particular aspect of your service, depending on how you structure your service offerings.

Make sure to allow your testimonial clients to highlight specific aspects of their experience through the questions you offer.

For example, don’t assume they will talk about how the on-boarding process set them up for success if you don’t specifically ask them to talk about it. 

Remember, you have options if an answer isn’t forthcoming or shaped in the way that you want.

One, you can ask them to elaborate on what they’ve written or two, you can strike it from the testimonial altogether.

But don’t assume anything.

TESTIMONIAL QUESTION 3 – WHAT VALUE DID YOU RECEIVE FROM THE WORK WE DID TOGETHER?

Value has many meanings.

If you don’t offer questions that lead your testimonial clients down a path that describes the value you want prospects to know about, you’re running the risk of having them leave the good stuff out.

Questions that touch not only the quality of deliverables, but the empowerment that they feel now that they’re on the other side of working with you are also essential to offer. 

Remember – people don’t make buying decisions based on what they think – they base it on how they feel. If you create testimonials that touch on both, then you’re creating powerful marketing assets that get attention.

So, that’s pretty much it.

All you need are three types of questions and that will tell an effective story on your behalf. 

At the end of the day, these testimonials validate you in a way that you simply cannot do for yourself. 

It takes a little extra work and prodding of your past clients.

But, when potential clients consume these testimonials, the juice is worth the squeeze.

And, oh by the way, they’ll put a smile on your face, too, 🙂

 

John DeMato is a NYC branded lifestyle portrait photographer and storytelling strategist who serves speakers, authors, coaches and high-level entrepreneurs across the country. His 50+ page e-book, S.H.A.R.E. M.A.G.I.C.A.L. I.D.E.A.S., lays out the how, what and why behind creating a memorable and referable online presence – sign up to get your FREE copy today.

Categories
Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To spot lies, observe body language. Body language will leak lies that words omit.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator”

 

“I wasn’t sure what I was sensing. But the story didn’t seem right. I didn’t know if it came from the man’s darting eyes, or his constant lip licking. He seemed nervous. And that increased my suspicion of his guilt.” Those were the words of a police officer recounting his thoughts to a supervisor. He’d just captured a criminal that had been on the lam for decades.

One researcher found most people lie in everyday conversation. They do so to appear approachable and skilled. As a negotiator, when you assess someone’s possible deceit, what signs do you look for in their body language? Are there other nonverbal signals that you spot that give clues to someone’s degree of truthfulness?

When a person lies, their body emits clues. That’s because our body attempts to stay in a constant state of comfort. And, when it’s out of that state, the body displays signals that account for that lack of wellbeing. The following guidelines will assist you in spotting lies in those that attempt to deceive you. Having this information will allow you to heighten your senses when someone is lying.

 

Reading Body Language

  • Facial Reading
    • Forehead – When someone’s forehead begins to sweat, take note of what preceded that action. While the person may be sweating due to the heat, observe to what degree the sweating continues based on questions posed in the conversation. When coupled with other signs, you’ll have better insight into the person’s deceit or truthfulness.
    • Eyes – In some situations, a lier will avoid eye contact, because they know a lack of eye contact may indicate someone’s lying. And others will maintain eye contact longer than usual. To decern when someone may be lying, observe what’s regular eye contact for that person in different situations. As an example, note their eye movement when they’re calm compared to when they feel threatened in an attempt not to disclose the truth. Even when you first meet someone, within moments of the encounter, you can gauge their altering of eye movement. Note what may have caused it to occur.
    • Mouth – When people lie, and they believe someone may be spotting it, the more they speak, the drier their mouth may become. They may begin to lick their lips to offset the dryness or start to swallow excessively. Pay special attention to this act. While nerves may have a role in their actions, guilt from telling lies may be the real source.
    • Ears – Someone fondling their ears may be indicating that they can’t hear what you’re saying. But constant fondling is usually a sign that they’re attempting to comfort themselves. While they may be nervous, note some of the other signals to assess if there’s more to their fondling.

 

  • Body Reading
    • Neck – Rubbing the neck more than usual is another sign of tension, which may be caused by someone lying. Once again, observe other signals mentioned to gain greater insight into what this clue me be giving you.
    • Hands – Some people cover their mouth with their hand when lying. They’re attempting to hold back their words. If someone makes large gestures with their hands and then begin to make smaller ones while displaying some of the other signals noted, that might be another clue that they’re attempting to shield the lie that they want you to believe is the truth.
    • Fists – Hands that become fists indicate potential hostile actions to follow. That gesture in a tense situation may mean the person is tired of your inquisition. He may be experiencing anxiety from thinking you’re aware of his deceitful pronouncements.
    • Feet – When someone suspects that you’re aware of his lying, he may shift his body and point his feet towards the nearest exit. That gesture indicates that he wants to get out of the current environment because he feels uncomfortable.

 

Conclusion 

As you watch someone’s body language, look for a cluster of actions. No action standing alone can definitively denote their truthfulness. Remember, when someone lies, their body emits signals. Those signals may be fleeting. But, if you’re astute at recognizing them, you’ll be better at catching the lies that people tell. That will allow you to maintain greater control in all of your environments … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Negotiate Better By Knowing What Value Is” Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To understand someone better, understand what they value. Then, seek to understand why they have those values.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Negotiate Better By Knowing What Value Is”

 

What do you know about value?

“… I’m so sorry for your inconvenience. I can upgrade you to a better room.” Those were the words spoken by a front desk person at a 5-star hotel. He was informing a guest of what he could do as the result of the patron experiencing a restless night. The patron’s restlessness was due to his loud neighbors in other rooms on the floor. The patron had begun calling the front desk around 12-midnight to complain. Throughout the night, he called several more times – all to no avail to squelch the noise that prevented him from sleeping. He thought to himself, and this yammering is ceaseless.

When he checked out of the hotel the next morning, he told the desk manager of his experience. The manager extended apologies on behalf of the hotel, stated that the night’s stay would be removed from the guest’s bill and asked if there was anything else that he could do. The patron said no. I appreciate the gestures you’ve made. Then he said, “all I wanted was a good night’s sleep. I have an important meeting today. And I just wanted to be fresh and well-rested.” As he left the hotel, he wondered if he’d ever stay at that location again.

Do you see the difference between how the front desk person and the desk manager addressed the situation? It’s slight. But it’s also powerful. The desk manager extended apologies, and he asked the guest if there was anything else that he could do. He was seeking the guest’s perspective of value. In other words, he wanted to know what was essential to the guest. If you don’t know what someone values, you don’t know what to offer them. That means you’re making blind offers when doing so in a negotiation.

When you negotiate, there are five factors to keep in mind about value.

  1. People have a different perspective on what they value and why. Once you know their value perspective, seek to understand it.

 

  1. Don’t assume because someone is like you that they’ll like you. Even when people have similar values, there will be nuances that separate their opinions about value. To assume you share exact ideals as your negotiation counterpart can lead to offers and counteroffers that are not valued. In a worst-case scenario, such offers can be damaging to your negotiation efforts.

 

  1. When you’re unsure of a person’s value, ask what they’d least like to lose. The reply will indicate what is of most importance.

 

  1. To test someone about their value, ask, “if there’s one thing that I could grant you in this negotiation, what would it be?” Once again, that person’s value proposition will reside in their response.

 

  1. This last suggestion may fall into the red herring category. It entails discovering something you possess that’s of great value to the other negotiator. Entice that person to believe that he can acquire it but at a very high cost. The higher he’s willing to pay for the acquisition, the higher the value of possessing it will be. Be cautious when engaging this means of acquiring someone’s value perspective. If you don’t allow them to receive it after getting them to make substantial offers, they could become unwilling to grant you much after that. Then, the negotiation might hit a roadblock.

 

To become a better negotiator, you must always understand what is of value to your negotiation counterpart. Once you do, making better offers will be more comfortable – because you’ll know which offers possess the highest value … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Categories
Best Practices Body Language Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Is Your logic Killing The Best of Your Argument” -Negotiation Insight

 

“To be successful, know when to use logic or illogic. Either can kill or enhance an argument.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“Is Your logic Killing The Best of Your Argument”

How do you shape your logic before presenting an argument or rebuttal? And, would it be different if you were a whistleblower?

“The whistleblower doesn’t know what happened. He got his information from other sources.” Those were the words reportedly that came from officials at the White House. The words were stated to discredit the whistleblower. In reality, his account appears to be very accurate. And his report was laid out in a very logical format.

 

When presenting information, consider the following seven suggestions.

 

  1. Make your arguments easy to embrace and understand. The more comfortable someone is in adopting a rebuttal, the more likely it is to persuade them.

 

  1. Solicit empathy – When positioning a response to a question, attempt to place it as the other person would. That’ll allow that person to see herself in your response. It’ll also make it more difficult for her to refute it because she would have engaged in the same manner as you.

 

  1. Before exposing your logic, think of where it might lead and how you might defend your position.

 

  1. To make responses more potent, don’t defuse them. Adding unrelated or challenging to grasp information might defuse your position. Adding too many arguments can lead to a lack of understanding of your primary point. Thus, someone may become confused as the result of focusing on another aspect you’ve mentioned and giving that point more attention.

 

  1. Demeanor – The persona you cast is how people will perceive you. Thus, if you threw the image of someone that’s challenging to deal with, you shouldn’t be surprised when someone deals with you in that manner. Conversely, if you position yourself as someone amenable, they’ll tend to respond to you in that manner. There’s always value in positioning yourself to meet the outcome you seek. Know what that is before projecting your persona, and you’ll have a better chance of convincing others to view situations from your perspective.

 

  1. Don’t appear guilty when refuting a claim that’s logged against you. There are times when how you say something is more important than what you say. That’s because people will perceive your words through the body language gestures you emit while speaking. Therefore, if your words and body language are misaligned, and your nonverbal behavior sends signals of guilt, those will be the overriding indicators that are received. Thus, you’ll become viewed as being more guilty than innocent.

 

  1. Acting crazy – “Crazy is as crazy does.” That’s a cliché denoting how some can feign craziness and use it to advantage their position. They’ll be times when it’s appropriate to act crazy. Doing so will ward off some people that might attack you. And others will keep their distance because they’re not sure how you’ll behave or respond in situations. Thus, this can be a very potent tool to use in certain circumstances. Those environments might occur when you don’t want to appear predictable, or when you want your opponent to stay on guard. That diversion can keep his attention focused on other activities.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Every negotiation follows a logical flow. Even when it appears to be illogical, there’s a flow that will become logical. Hence, the better your logic is for what you want to occur during a negotiation, taking into consideration of the other negotiator’s reactions, the greater control you’ll have in that process. That should allow you to control the talks, which in turn should lead to a higher negotiation outcome for you … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Argument #Whistleblower #Logic #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself