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“Don’t Joust When You Want To Project Powerful Trust“ – Negotiation Insight

“Trust is like a shimmering light. It appears one moment and gone the next. To keep it illuminated longer, limit those that would keep you in the dark.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

“Don’t Joust When You Want To Project Powerful Trust“ – Negotiation Insight

“Trust is like a shimmering light. It appears one moment and gone the next. To keep it illuminated longer, limit those that would keep you in the dark.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

“Don’t Joust When You Want To Project Powerful Trust“

How do you know they’ll trust us? I don’t know. But, if they sense we’re willing to follow their lead, not joust with them, and project an open, honest, and powerful desire for them to trust us, I believe they will. So were the words exchanged between two members of a team that desperately wanted their counterparts to trust them. They needed to be trusted because, without it, the chances of a successful outcome would become significantly diminished.

When engaging people, trust plays a pivotal role in the outcome. And, since that leads to faith, which impacts confidence, which affects expectations, the degree you’re trusted determines how far they’ll follow your requests and mandates. Without that, you risk standing on the proverbial desert of isolation, waiting for an oasis that most likely will never occur.

As you reach to others to enhance your efforts, consider the following factors to heighten the probability that they’ll work with you.

Degrees of Trust:

The characteristics and background of the people you attempt to control will determine the amount of trust they’ll grant you. If they come from non-trusting environments or have had poor relationships with authorities in the past, more time and effort will be required to solicit their trust. On the other hand, if you have a reputation of someone that others have trusted in the past, less effort will be required. And therein lies your measurement as to the effort you’ll spend in obtaining the trust needed to get others to believe and accept what you request of them.

Reasons For Broken Trust:

Entities having cross purposes can be one reason trust is not established or broken. There can be a host of other reasons too. To enhance your efforts, think about the following ideas that might impact the trust factor in your efforts to implant a plan or to get others to bond and embrace your directions.

  • Combativeness – Some people shrink when put in combative environments – they can become absorbed and consumed by it. And yet others will thrive in such situations. You should know the setting that’s best suited to motivate those you deal with based on your surroundings. In some circumstances, you can heighten someone’s abilities for a short time by placing them in stressful situations. At other times they may wither. Always be mindful of the position you put people in and how long you keep them in it.
  • Subjugation – Everyone is not a leader. Thus, some people are more comfortable being followers. Knowing the mental makeup of your allies and those that combat your efforts should be the cornerstone of any plan you create. Incorporating this insight into any strategy you devise allows you to assess and determine how you might manipulate the powers to be. That will enable you to enhance your efforts and erode the forces that oppose you.
  • Hard/Soft hand – History has taught us that force is required to overwhelm a relentless foe. And history has also shown that rebellions can occur when power reigns too heavy-handedly to suppress the desires of the less fortunate. Therefore, when you have authority or supremacy, you should be careful about how you use it.

If others view your edicts as being too harsh, you can entice inner resurrection amongst those that prowl to subvert your efforts. If your approach is considered too soft, you can appear weak or noncommittal for the outcome you’re chasing. Like most things in life, striking the right balance between being too hard or soft is the position you should pursue. That’s the sweet spot that will enable the possibility of you achieving the best outcome.

Fitting The Pieces Together:

Control Jousters – In every environment, people jockey for power. And the factions that stem from those activities can weaken your position and drastically impede your progress – especially if you need a united alliance. So, be mindful of underlings that seek power for their self-aggrandizement. Do this within your forces and your opponent’s ranks too.

Some individuals may want clout to feed their ego, while others may wish it so that others don’t view them as a bottom-feeder. In either case, you can use such forces as leverage to enhance your efforts, or thwart those of your adversaries. In the latter instance, incite those in the opposer’s camp to vie for power, which will pit them against one another. While they’re confronting inner chaos, use their fray to weaken their most robust components by enticing other factions of there’s to align with you. Be careful how you employ this ploy within your ranks. If done ineffectively, you may incite an uprising in your midst.

Reflection:

Anyone can be king-for-a-day. But if you want to be a leader that others will eagerly follow, you must project a powerful trust factor. Doing that will enhance your persona. It will silently state that you’re someone that has influence and someone worthy of leading others. Without those factors, others may follow your lead for a short time, but you’ll have challengers that’ll quest to supplant your leadership. Heavy will be the head that wears the crown. And that head will be yours.

So, inspire others by showing them that you’re a reckoning force. That force can be to their advantage or their detriment. Hence, display firmness when required and at other times, be lenient. Regardless, in the end, to get others to abide by your wishes, adopt the demeanor that’ll move them the most. The one constant factor in that is trust. Use it wisely … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#trust #joust #project #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiationexamples #Negotiationstrategies #negotiationprocess #negotiationskillstraining #negotiationtypes #negotiationpsychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #TheMasterNegotiator #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Personal Development Technology

Scholarship Announcement for 2019

I spent my early career teaching and have a deep passion for lifelong learning and creating a life of dreams fulfilled. Accomplishing educational goals is a significant step toward this. I tell my audiences that “I want to create a widely diversified portfolio of unforgettable memories,” and I encourage others to do the same.

While each of us has an important purpose and a unique story to tell, we all need a boost at some point to give our dreams momentum.

Burrus Scholarship Gives Dreams a Boost

A couple of years ago, the idea to support a few individuals each year in the pursuit of their educational dreams arose. These individuals also maintain a focus on the greater community in which they live. That being said, I created the Daniel Burrus Scholarship Fund.

The award is given once a year to individuals in high school who plan on attending college or are full-time college students in good academic standing with a desire to continue their education and better impact their community.

I’m proud to announce the three winners of our Fall 2019 award

The scholarship recipients’ essays explained how they each believe my anticipation principles, such as paying attention to Hard and Soft Trends, the Law of Opposites, Problem Skipping and Choosing to Be Extraordinary, can help an organization lead transformation instead of just react to change. Let me introduce them.

First up is Ember Milstead who resides in Rome, GA. Ember recently graduated from Model High School and is currently attending Pennsylvania State University, double majoring in criminology and psychology in pursuit of a promising career in criminal law. Ultimately, Ember’s goal is to aid in the reduction of false convictions in the United States and to better our legal system.

Ember identifies Hard Trends as something useful in recognizing disruptions before they disrupt. She believes that to do this, an organization must first differentiate between Soft Trends and Hard Trends, where Soft Trends are predictions that have the potential to occur and Hard Trends are future facts that will occur. She cites that technological advancements are a Hard Trend and in addition to this, believes organizations can use Hard Trends to accelerate their success, citing Netflix as the most prominent example of a company pre-solving a problem before it actually becomes a problem.

 

 

 

Secondly, we have Matthew De La Cruz who is from the Bronx in New York. Overcoming a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Delays (PDD-NOS), which falls under the Autistic Spectrum, at two years old, and with the undying support of his immigrant parents, Matthew worked hard to exceed the limitations of his condition and graduated as Valedictorian from Monsignor Scanlan High School in 2019. He currently attends Baruch College in New York City studying finance and he aspires to become the CEO of a financial firm in the future.

Remarkably, Matthew cites the invention of the wheel in 3,500 B.C. as evidence of technological change being a constant in our lives, even though these days it has become predominantly digital and based in the Internet of Things (IoT). Because of this, Matthew believes that using an anticipatory mindset to point out certainties in markets is important for a company of any size to transform technological change into a competitive advantage and flourish in the present and the future.

And finally, we have Kennedy McKinney who is a passionate future journalist. Her love for journalism began in 2013 when she decided to start her own online paper, and it’s only grown from there with her accomplishment of becoming editor-in-chief at her high school paper. Kennedy is now majoring in Journalism with a specialty in entertainment and sports, where she also plans to learn more about media production and video editing to prepare for the constant transition from print to digital papers.

Kennedy believes that a common example of how a company can use Hard Trends to anticipate is found most predominantly with technology. Over 3.8 billion people use the internet today, which Kennedy identifies as a Hard Trend. However, she also observes that many companies use Soft Trends more frequently, which are trends based on statistics that have the appearance of being fully predictable facts, but notes that they are something that might happen as opposed to Hard Trends that will happen. Therefore she believes companies should not strategies solely on Soft Trends, but utilize Hard Trends to anticipate change and transform their future.

The inspiration and intelligence these young people bring to their communities and the world are boundless. Small acts of support grow exponentially. Keep making an impact on the next generation of leaders in your community.

The Daniel Burrus Scholarship Fund was created to be a resource for those students who applied AO principles to help them achieve their goals and objectives while leading others along the way. By supporting students to shape a positive future, I believe our youth can be better prepared to become transformational leaders within their communities and achieve enormous success. Learn more about the Daniel Burrus Scholarship Program. You might also be interested in picking up a copy of my latest book The Anticipatory Organization.

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Entrepreneurship Marketing Personal Development

How Popular Thought Leaders Attract Followers Through Their Stories

Being a thought leader is no walk in the park. Staying in demand is even harder. I’ve seen a lot of speakers and subject matter experts come and go over the last decade. The ones that became the most successful the longest, know how to tell stories people need to hear.

Most executives get into the speaking circuit because they know solutions others would benefit from but they have a hard time getting people to listen. Especially early on. Everyone talks about the importance of having a digital presence and digital marketing but how do you grow an audience from scratch?

The first thing to know about creating traffic is that you’re not creating it. Your job is to convert it. The internet is traffic. It’s already there waiting for you.

Brands and companies winning with digital marketing are producing the most helpful and unique content by sharing their expertise on their subject matter in a way that relates to the people seeking something new and different.

Content marketing isn’t new it’s been “a thing” for thousands of years. The term “content marketing” was adopted in 2007 though to highlight the shift away from traditional interruption-based advertising to the maturing discipline of value-oriented content creation. It was a reminder and call to arms to stay grounded in the way humans communicate.

By telling stories and sharing experiences people can relate to.

Gary Vaynerchuck is one of the most in-demand corporate speakers today on digital marketing. But people don’t follow him because he talks about digital marketing. They follow him because they first related to his story and experience is something they want to replicate for themselves.

Gary grew his parents’ wine business from $3 million to $60 million by being one of the first companies to use YouTube to make wine video reviews to sell their inventory. He left that world and grew an 800 personal digital marketing agency for the world’s biggest brands. He isn’t just talking about digital marketing he lives and breathes it.

Similarly, Simon Sinek didn’t blow up for telling companies to update their mission statements. He shared his experience of how he quit his corporate job because he felt a lack of excitement and of attention to basic human emotional needs at large companies in a TedTalk that became the 3rd most popular watched presentation of all time.

Sinek explains complex obvious problems by sharing stories that create shared experiences.

Over the last 8 years our Chairman, Jeffrey Hayzlett, has delivered over 1,300 keynote presentations by outlining in vivid detail, how he and his team went through one of the largest gut-wrenching turnarounds in American business history. Telling his experience validates what every other company in the world is feeling and going through. Unmitigated massive ongoing scary changing business landscapes and how to face the fear of the unknown.

By sharing experience, we spread knowledge.

The point is some of the most in-demand speakers and thought leaders are not just marketing themselves as speakers available for hire. Popular thought leaders today are the missing messages for change in increasingly outdating industries. Telling hard truths most aren’t willing to say.

The most effective way to share your message is to tell stories.

Marketing and soap operas:

The phrase soap opera came about in the mid-1930s because the sponsors of the earliest radio shows were soap manufacturers targeting housewives through daytime radio ads for woman.

Attention from the same advertisers then shifted in the 60s to TV programming for working moms. High drama shows involving betrayals, breakups, dark secrets, and intimate storylines were capturing the attention of the masses. It was in that shift where marketers learned the mainstream attraction and power of storytelling. They integrated their advertising where people were listening to stories.

Digital marketers today are now scrambling to become the story not just interrupt them.

The emergence of the soap opera sequence:

Marketers only have seconds to capture strangers’ attention.

They are doing so by getting people hooked on an idea. This isn’t about manipulation it’s about getting to the point of what really matters to them.

Digital marketers today have adapted a term known as the Soap Opera Sequence to structure their communication in story form intended to create drama, build suspense and anticipation, and ultimately entice people to take action.

Telling your story using the soap opera sequence

1. Set The Stage:

Start off with an eye-raising statistic or enticing question.

2. Backstory

What’s the dramatic pain point everyone knows in the industry but nobody is talking about that creates trust and allows the know you’re just like them?

3. Hitting the Wall

What reoccurring business problem stopped you from reaching your goal that your prospect can relate to?

4. The Epiphany

What epiphany did you have that solved the problem in a new way that others should know? The secret you learned that changed everything after you implemented it?

5. The Hidden Benefits

What unexpected benefits emerged as a result of the changes you implemented?

6. The Call to Action

Why act now versus later? What will it cost not to act right now?

When communicating with purpose to attract your tribe, use the soap opera sequence to make your content stand out by telling a story that your audience can relate to.

It isn’t about putting out content. It’s putting out content in a relevant and meaningful way.

There has always been too much content. The only way to stand out is to relevant and different. Tell your story like nobody else!

For more information visit tylerhayzlett.com

Categories
Body Language Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Don’t fear opposition. From it, you can become stronger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book

“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“

 

He observed the opposing member’s body language and noted a rise in their opposition. He thought – this intervention is not going well. I’ll display a stronger resolve through my body language when I speak. And that will enhance my words.

Even those not astute at reading body language become swayed by their gestures. Some they see, and others they miss – their subconsciousness may capture the latter. That may lead to someone thinking, ‘I had a hunch or a feeling about that. But I didn’t know what it meant.’ In reality, that was their intuition summoning their consciousness. When one notices the slight gesture of someone biting their lips, hands-on hips, or an intense glare, those gestures convey a message.

You can use the following information about reading body language to resolve opposition to your position.

 

Identify Alliances

Always know who’s aligned with whom before you attempt an intervention. Without that insight, you don’t know who might be your real friend or foe. That’s important because, without that knowledge, you can’t confront the real force that opposes you. Thus, there may be a stronger force with superior powers that go unaddressed. And that could leave you going in circles wondering why you’re not advancing.

To identify possible factions aligned against you, consider planting misinformation about one group in the other. And note what that information does within those units. In particular, observe what the info does per new alliances the opposition forms. You can glean additional insight by visually inspecting the coalitions when you’re in the same environment. Do that by noting who congregates with whom and any other nonverbal exchanges that occur. You’re looking for the slightest of shifts to increase your advantage. If the forces are still committed to one another as before, that might indicate the information was insufficient for its purpose. It could also imply that there’s a stronger alliance than you’d imagined. And an FYI, this tactic is served better if you have a confidant within your targets midst place the information.

While some might consider this maneuver to be underhanded, depending on the threat confronting you, it may be well warranted – even if some revile you. Just be mindful that those with the most to lose will be the ones that contest you the most. Once uncovered, they’ll be the real opponents challenging your position.

 

Understanding One Important Body Language Queue

To identify alliances through body language, observe gestures passed between members of the opposition. Such gestures as one member placing a hand on the shoulder of another while talking can silently indicate that he’s seeking support from that person. You can also observe someone searching for assistance when a person speaks, and someone from his group places a hand on his shoulder. Since the prior gesture can also be a form of control (i.e., let’s not go that far), take note of when it occurs and who initiates the action. If it’s a “let’s not go that far” intent, the person displaying the gesture may be a leader behind the scenes or someone that you can use later to control the person speaking. Using a veiled leader in that capacity would allow you to use the hidden powers of an influencer.

 

Signs of Escalation

Some body language gestures are like canaries in a coal mine – they foretell pending danger.

 

Face-To-Face

You can sense some body language gestures before the display becomes altered. Thus, those displays reflect the emotional state of that individual at that moment. Those signals are called micro-expressions.

There are other signs to observe, such as hand flexing, the hand becoming a fist, displaying a grimacing demeanor while moving closer to you, and increasing the rate of speech. Such indicators can be the signal of emotional elevation, which can lead to hostile escalations.

It’s important to note such signals because they can indicate a change in the mental temperature. And that could put you in a worse position – which can lead you and them to become unreceptive to logical thinking.

 

On Phone

When speaking on the phone, listen for deep sighing, the deliberation of words, and the pace of speech of the person with whom you’re talking. As someone’s ire becomes heightened, you’ll hear the rise of it through those nonverbal queues. Note if you’re displaying such gestures too. Because regardless of who commits those actions, it’s an opportunity for you to shift the conversation in a direction that suits your purpose.

 

Reflection:

You can note the effectiveness of your efforts by the shifting positions your opponents adopt. Note the shift verbally and physically when in person. That’ll indicate their attempts to seek an opening they can exploit. Which means they’re on the defense.

Thus, when intervening in situations, depending on the value of the outcome, do so with vigor – don’t dither. Dithering can waste your time and hamper your position. And that’s something you can’t afford. Use the body language signs mentioned before, during, and after an intervention. They’ll put you in a more powerful position … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

 

#opposition #Body #language #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Reading micro-expressions can help avert crises. But only if your interpretation is accurate.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better”

A pale expression held his face. Holy ‘blank’ was the four-letter word obscenity he uttered. We’re in a full-blown crisis! Dumbfounded, he said, what are we going to do now? We have to negotiate with them! His associate said, let’s meet with our adversaries. We can read their micro-expressions during the meeting to gain insight into their real thoughts and feelings. That’ll allow us to know what’s really on their minds.

Do you know how to read micro-expressions? Do you know what they are? Continue reading, and you’ll be able to answer both of those questions. Plus, you’ll discover how you can use them when you’re in a crisis.

 

Micro-expressions:

Micro-expressions are emotional displays that last for less than a quarter of a second. They reflect the reality of someone’s thoughts at that moment. Hence, if you’re able to interpret someone’s emotional displays accurately, you’ll have insight into their current emotional state. Doing that will give you insight into how they feel about an offer or statement. During a crisis, having this insight gives you real-time information about the direction you should take.

There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone throughout the world

  • Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.
  • Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before charging.
  • Disgust – This micro-expression is displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is wrinkled.
  • Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
  • Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer. You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
  • Sadness – Note sadness through drooping eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
  • Happiness – Happiness is shown through wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile, and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this gesture.

 

Using Micro-expressions In Crisis Intervention

Knowing someone’s real thoughts allows you to understand their source of motivation – and that’s the benefit of being able to read someone’s expressions.

During a crisis, use the unannounced information you’ve gathered and assess how strong the opposition is. From there, determine the degree of mental or real force to summon. Another plus is the ability to evaluate the commitment that those on the opposing side have to one another. Accordingly, if you can identify those with less alliance, you may be able to separate them from the others. Therefore, you’d be weakening their numerical strength, which may assist in decreasing their overall power.

Once you’ve gathered the mentioned insights, consider different ways to use them to your benefit. As an example, you might:

  • create false scenarios to confuse the other party per the direction they should take
  • align some of your stronger positions with their weaker ones (do this to keep their stronger points at bay) – then you can state that you’re trying your best to meet their needs
  • form a splinter group, consisting of those from your side, theirs, and neutral stakeholders to combat the overall strength of the opposing party – this maneuver is akin to divide and conquer, with the benefit of your team becoming stronger, while their’s become diluted.

 

Feigning Micro-expressions

While genuine micro-expressions give insight into one’s mind, you can fake them. As an example, you can exaggerate contempt by turning one corner of your lip up and allowing it to linger longer than a micro-expression. Even if the other person didn’t initially observe your expression, you could ask if he saw what you’d done. Regardless, you’ll have him on the defense by asking questions and him answering them.

 

Confront With Caution

There’s nothing more daunting than sizing up an adversary and not identifying its true leader. That means you must be hyper-aware of who your real opponent is and the decision-making abilities they have. You’ve heard about the power behind the throne. Even more so during a crisis, that’s who you want to confront. Your rivals may have a shared leadership structure or using a front-person as the face of their team. They’d do that to confuse you.

To identify a power source, observe who might look at whom for confirmation before making or accepting an offer. You can also detect subtle signals per the hesitation in committing that act. That’s where your observance of micro-expressions will lend assistance in identifying a person fronting as one possessing power.

 

Reflection

Being able to identify and interpret micro-expressions accurately will give you an enormous advantage in any situation. During a crisis, having this skill will magnify your power exponentially. So, if you use this ability wisely, you’ll deter and avert more crises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Expressions #Micro-expressions #crisis #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life” – Negotiation Insight

 

“The myth about supremacy is, it is a myth. Because everyone’s insights add value to the whole, even if their insights detract from the thoughts about the superiority of others.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life”

 

Don’t allow the supremacy myth to destroy your unrealized opportunities due to the way you think.

We don’t need their input. We’re superior in every way to them – said one associate to the other. So, they entered into a bargaining session with those they assumed were inferior, and became obliterated! Since they went into the situation with a superior mindset, they’d not considered options that might have improved what became their dismal outcome. They didn’t prepare appropriately per thoughts they should have pondered. And that was to their detriment.

Continue reading, and you’ll gather insights to improve your interactions with other people. Because, even if you don’t define yourself as having myths about others, others have them about you. And since everyone is codependent upon each other, ignoring this illusion can prevent future advancements in thinking for you and them. Without that improvement, everyone will advance at a slower pace.

 

Impact of Thoughts

As someone of authority, have you considered how myths impact your life? If your first thought was, I don’t think others are inferior – you should reconsider your belief. Everyone considers himself above others in some cases. You may view the disheveled homeless person, the ticket-taker on the train or those in other environments to be inferior. The point is, recognize your reality for what it is. From that point, you can begin to deal with your version of the myth. That’s important because that myth might be hampering the advancement of your life based on the way you think.

 

The Problem With Supremacy

Thinking you’re superior to others taints your mind. It affirms misconceptions that you possess that may hamper your interactions with others. And that can place you at a disadvantage when you’re trying to sway someone to adopt your position. Worse, you’ll lose time and attrition on aspects that might have otherwise advanced that position.

Always be aware of what you say about the abilities of others. And be more aware of the inner thoughts you possess about such feelings. Because that’s the message you’ll project in the way you act towards them.

 

Identifying Your Fears

Fear may be driving your beliefs about your supremacy. If so, are you aware of what you fear? The point is, you should examine why you hold such views to be truths if you do. Because you’re alienating yourself from those that you may use as allies in a best-case scenario. In a worst-case scenario, you’re turning them into adversaries.

By identifying your source of motivation, you’ll have a point from which to address your supremacy challenges. That will allow you to shift your mind, which will lead to self-improvement and your positioning with others. That means the more open you are to their viewpoints, even if you don’t initially agree with them, the better your chances will be of understanding their perspective. From there, you’ll become more sensitized, which should place you and them on a better road of consideration, which should lead to better outcomes.

 

Reflection

When you’re in any role, leadership, or non-leadership, you must possess top-of-mind awareness of how you view people. If you consider others to be inferior, you’ll attempt to cast that demeanor upon them. Some will resist, and others will fight you for the insult you toss their way. That can dampen your position and make it more challenging to deal with them.

People see the world differently. That’s due to the experiences and environments they’ve encountered. Therefore, if you wish to improve conditions in a situation, consider availing yourself to the thoughts and opinions of those that don’t come from your background, and those that haven’t shared your experiences. Having their added viewpoint will allow you to see conditions from another perspective. It will also open the spectrum of new opportunities. Those will become the opportunities that will increase the chances of improvement for everyone involved … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

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“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise” – Negotiation Insight

 

“All promises have expiration dates. Don’t let yours expire without reaping its rewards.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

 

 

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“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise”

 

… They needed to increase their perception of power. So, they sought an ally to enhance that perception. They made a promise to support that ally’s efforts from that point into the future.

But when a new leader gained power, he abandoned his ally. The ally, upon reflection, realized they were pawns in their former partner’s game. They’d been betrayed and sold out because they no longer had the value they once possessed. Within their ranks, they asked the question, what is the expiration on a promise?

That question is one that you should ponder about every situation. Things constantly change. And thus, parameters formed in one alliance can alter a promise when people form other partnerships. So, if you feel the ground shifting, take note of where it’s flowing. That noted change will signal the possible need to develop new alliances. A promise will only last as long as it serves a purpose. To assess when it may begin to lose its commitment, consider the following.

 

Where you were

Knowing the environment a promise was made in, and the surrounding circumstances that led to its creation will give you a starting point from which to monitor its party’s commitment. Consider who the players were that entered into the alignment that made the promise. And, consider their source of power moving into the future. Making that assessment can serve as a bell-weather that indicates when you should consider forming new alliances. Being blind to such occurrences can leave you in a darkness that’s fraught with danger.

 

Your journey

As you reflect on the dilemma of lost trust, due to broken promises, think of the path that you and your allies have traveled. Consider what might have led or is leading to a separation of support you’ve provided for each other. Partnerships don’t dissolve overnight. There are always pending signs of potential danger. Look for them and heed warning signs on your path. Think about the variables that transpired that you possibly ignored due to circumstances that you didn’t want to consider or those that you intentionally chose to ignore. The purpose of that is to assess the mindset that you and your ally had as you traveled to the place that you now find the relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do now to increase my perceived value? Who might I align with to improve my position? And where might that alignment lead? You need firm footing to escape a slippery slope. Connecting with those that can extend support might be the support required to do just that.

 

Where you are

Now, you’re in a very precarious situation. Your most reliable ally has deserted you. And, you’re left surrounded by your enemies. What do you do? To survive, you must create new alliances. And you have to consider the trust factor. And you must ask, how long might a promise they make last? The answer that echoes back is, now is not the time to worry about that. You’re in survival mode.

If you want to survive, you must do whatever is required to sustain yourself. That may even include making alliances with the devil. Meaning, you may have to stretch very far outside of your comfort zone. But if survival is meaningful to you, you’ll do what it takes to prevent you from being taken by what you do.

 

Reflection

When you find yourself in a less than tenable position, due to broken promises, don’t be Pollyannaish. Look at your dilemma for what it is, not necessarily the way you want it to be. Everything changes. And as they do, they don’t have to leave you in a lurch. You can prevent that from occurring by being aware of shifting alliances and making sure that you’re aligned with powers that will remain powerful. Do that as long as an association serves your needs, and you’ll be less likely to be broken by broken promises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To decrease your chances of being conquered, know how others will fight.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer”

He realized he’d be entering into a tough situation. In past interactions, verbal fights had broken out within this group. And tensions had frayed. Those frayed tensions led to increasing distrust amongst those discussing the proposed resolution.

Anticipating how someone might respond to an offer or proposal is something that you should always consider. Why? Because it impacts how you and they will interact. Thus, if you’ve had conflicts in the past, and nothing’s been done to address them satisfactorily, more than likely, they’ll fight you in the future.

The following is information you can use to plan, control, and dissuade others from attempting to conquer you. It’s a thought process that every good negotiator considers. And when someone fights to overcome your efforts, it’s insightful information that will arm you to combat them.

 

Planning

 

  • Fight/Flight/Stand Still
    • Before engaging in any forum, assess what occurred in prior encounters with its participating members. That history reflection will provide insights about the developments that might arise in your upcoming meeting with them. It also allows you the time to plan the actions and reactions you’ll promote to enhance your position.

In particular, consider whether you want the next encounter to end in a stalemate (you’re marking time to become stronger), you want the opposition to flee the potential conflict, recognizing your strength is too powerful for them to combat (be mindful of how you cast yourself – this may cause your opponents to seek greater power by building stronger coalitions), you’re going to fight for future positioning or as a means to get closer to its end.

  • Strategy
    • You should develop an approach based on what’s occurred in the past, the outcome that arose from using that plan, how those you engaged during that session reacted, and to what degree new players will enter into the upcoming activities. Taking into account those factors will allow you to shape the tactics you’ll develop to create and employ the best strategy.

 

  • Who are you
    • Another thought to consider is, who are you? That question answers the characteristics you possess. Some people can’t or won’t engage in some activities because it may be outside of their moral bearings. Having insight about your ethical boundaries will help you determine how far you’ll go to seek an outcome that may be crossing a line. Make the same assessment of those that you’ll be meeting.

 

Improvement

 

  • Interactions
    • Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t get what you wanted, and yet you still felt good about the outcome? Even if you haven’t had that experience, that’s the emotional state you want to instill in others that deal with you. Leave them feeling that they walked away with something that they’re proud to have achieved.

The way you accomplish that feeling lies in how you deal with people. In some situations, you don’t want to appear stubborn, dogmatic, or immobile. In the wrong condition, people will detest you. But in the right circumstances, such a demeanor will aid in fostering the persona needed to back those that pose threats away from you. So, be aware of how you project your persona and make sure it matches the outcome you’re seeking. Doing so will prevent future consternation that might impede future progress.

 

  • Framing
    • Framing occurs when you control the narrative of a conversation. And, by framing an interaction in a particular manner, you control the discussion and the flow of the communication.
    • Outcome – No matter the outcome, think about how you’ll frame it so that it appears to be beneficial to your position.
    • Opponents – Think about how you’ll frame the opponents that have engaged you during and after an interaction. You can position them in a positive or negative light, depending on how you wish others to view them. The choice you make should depend on how you want them to interact with you going forward.

 

  • Future Interactions
    • Other players – When considering how you’ll improve future situations, consider who might become aligned with whom. That’ll impact the chances of future success for you and them. There may exist the opportunity to use their alliances to your advantage.

 

Reflections

In answering the question, they will fight back but will they conquer, the answer is, it depends. It depends on the variables that you identify and address that will influence the outcome of a meeting – and how successful you are in developing a plan that accurately addresses those variables. The point is, you’ll have more control of any encounter if you plan for it appropriately. Once you do, you’ll be less likely to be conquered in your engagements … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Maintain Power In The Face Of Threats” – Negotiation Insight

“Threats can be disruptive. But unchecked threats that challenge power usually leads to destruction. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Maintain Power In The Face Of Threats”

 

The leaders that preceded him always supported their allies. And his allies thought he’d continue that support. Then, it occurred – the opportunity to come to their aid. But he was a different type of leader. He cared more about his well-being than that of his allies. So, he abandoned them. He did that to maintain power while a secret source threatened him.

Everyone has a degree of authority. And that authority is a source of power. So, if you want to maintain yours, consider the following.

Verbal Attacks

Sometimes, non-physical attacks work – especially in the face of threats. Thus, attacks don’t have to be physical. They can be verbal, serving as a warning of the foreboding to come unless current threatening actions cease. And, over a long period, they can shape future activities, anticipation, and mindset of those whom you convey your sentiments. So, when you consider how you’ll extend and maintain power, think about how you might use even the threat of an attack, physical or non-physical, to bolster your position.

Moving Goalposts

When confronting threats, another strategy to consider is moving the goalposts. That means, when those you’re facing get closer to a goal, move it. Do that by changing the parameters that were previously set.

You can use this tactic against those that form less of a threat but with whom you wished to maintain control. You’d implement this strategy to keep the object of your actions aligned with you, but have them guessing at what you might require next. If overused, that tactic can also introduce and ignite anger. So, be careful of how and when you utilize it.

You can also implement this strategy by assembling multiple goals and allowing your associates to choose the ones to address. Later, for reasons you create, you can state that they have to alter their course and discuss new goals. You’d use this approach to buy time or to frustrate the progress they were making that was out of alignment with your goals. Either way, you’ll maintain power, while others are chasing the altering goals that you created.

Using Surrogates

Power is real to the degree it’s perceived, and how it’s adhered to by others. Thus, if someone recognizes you as being in control, in their eyes, you’re powerful. Therefore, another way to project power is to disallow others from engaging you. You’d forbid them access to you, be it in person or via any form of communication. Instead, you should have such individuals communicate through your surrogates. You want to maintain distance between you and them. That buffer allows you to remain somewhat aloof while giving you time to consider responses to potentially threatening situations. Then, when you enter into communications with them, you’ll have the opportunity to control the situation better. Your presence will suggest that something bigger is occurring.

Your Will

When considering threats to power, some people become tyrannical to protect it. They will lie, cheat, and steal to maintain control. Others will acquiesce to threats. Thus, not only should you be aware of the personality type that you’re dealing with, having that insight will help you shape your response to the threats of others.

  • Tyrants – This individual type may have a relationship with power, new or long-established, that allows him to feel special. He rides on the clouds of accolades. And his ego is pacified while being affirmed that he exalts over his followers. It can be challenging to deal with this personality type. When confronting someone possessing this characteristic, no his sources of power, and know yours. You may have to call on your power sources to prepare it to battle on your behalf. You should also be prepared to employ dirty tricks to combat his forces if you deem it necessary.

 

  • Acquiesce – Dealing with someone that acquiesces can be tricky. The trickiness lies in the speed of his actions. If he nibbles at your power, he may do so to test the possibilities for success. Thus, he will not be as bold nor engage in the tactics a tyrant would use. Nevertheless, depending on the backers of this individual, he may become emboldened to threaten your authority because he’s being egged on by others. Keep this in mind and account for it when dealing with this type of person.

Reflection

Power is fluid. And it’s ever-changing. Therefore, if you want to maintain control, you must be aware of what might alter its flow. And, you must be prepared to combat those that would take it away. To do anything other will empower others. And for them … everything will be right with the world – but not for you.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“To avoid danger, control the conversations that lead to it. And, to do that, know how to control conversations.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better”

 

Two agents were working undercover as they discussed an update with their informant. They were seated in a recessed area in an attempt to keep their conversation private and to avoid danger. They wanted to control the environment as much as possible. Suddenly, a panhandler walked over and aggressively began to ask for money. One agent said pleasantly, no. But the person persisted by asking, why not? The agent said, no, again. Still, the person continued their plea for money. Finally, the agent growled as he said in a loud voice, I said no! Stunned, the beggar turned and quickly walked away.

Potential danger always surrounds you, even during negotiations (you’re always negotiating). In some cases, you avoid it by staying outside of its bounds. At other times, you prevent it by the way you control conversations in an environment.

When the agents turned their attention back to their update, the informant asked, did you think that person was dangerous? The agent said, no. That beggar didn’t accept my answer the first few times. So, I had to alter the delivery of my words. By changing the tone of my reply and sounding more hostile, the panhandler sensed my, no, response as being more definitive. That’s why he walked away at that point.

Consider the following techniques to increase your control as you negotiate with those that might attempt to be defiant or with those that you’d like to control better.

 

Block and Bridge

Block and bridge is one way to alter the flow of a conversation. You’d implement its use as a conversation began to head in an unwanted direction – one that you feared would cause you to lose control of the discussion or interaction. You might also consider employing it when you wanted to enhance the flow of a conversation.

To invoke its use, when someone began making statements that you disagreed with, or citing accounts not aligned with where you wanted to take the conversation, block their comments. As an example, you can say, you have a point (block), and the outcome was less than expected (bridge). I suggest we take the following approach. It’s known to have better results.

The manner you block someone’s comments depends on the severity of the situation. If it’s one that might escalate to a high degree of irritation, you might consider blocking the other person’s statements with a harsh tone and words. If that’s not required, consider being milder in your intonation and demeanor.

 

Answering Questions With Questions

Answering questions with questions is an excellent way to gather more information than you give. It also allows you to control a conversation. Because the person asking questions is controlling the flow of the discussion. And that occurs as long as the other party is answering questions.

To implement this strategy, ask a question in response to one that’s asked of you. Do this instead of answering the initial query. Thus, instead of providing an answer to that question, you’d respond with one of your own.

As an example, if someone says, do I have to take this course of action? Your response might be, what do you think will happen if you don’t take this course of action? You’ve not answered the question. And if you get a response, you’ve gained more insight into the individual’s thoughts. Along with a possible solution to a situation if you choose to implement that person’s response.

 

Listening To What’s Not Said

Many people consider themselves good communicators because they pay attention to what someone says. In reality, you can be a better communicator and control conversations better by observing what’s someone doesn’t say.

As an example, if someone said, I didn’t do what you said I did. You might consider a person’s answer to mean, I didn’t do what you said I did. Yes, I did it, but not the way you stated it.

By listening for what’s not said, and the response of how something’s said, you’ll gain better insight and control of someone’s statements. You’ll also know more about how that person is communicating. And that will be worth its weight in gold.

 

Reflection  

In every environment, and every negotiation you’re in, think about how you’ll control that environment. In particular, consider how you’ll avoid dangerous situations, what form of control you’ll use, and where that might take you in your encounter. Because the better you control conversations, the more power and control you’ll have in every negotiation and situation that you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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