C-Suite Network™

Menu
Search
Close this search box.

Day: December 9, 2021

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness Leadership

Your Unhealed Betrayal is Impacting Your Health, Work and Relationships

When the person you trusted the most proves untrustworthy, it not only shatters your trust in them, it shatters your trust in yourself as you think: “How did I not know?” “How did I not see?”If you’ve lost trust in the person you trusted the most, and you feel you can’t trust yourself or your judgment, it’s natural to then question your trust in everyone and everything.So think about it. The shattering of trust has such a far-reaching impact going way beyond how it impacts the relationship with the person who hurt you. It has a ripple effect where everyone and everything, including yourself, now comes into question.Before I go even further, the good news is you can heal from all of it and there’s even a proven, research-based way to do just that when you move through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. First, I wanted you to see how it impacts your health, work and relationships.Your Health

There’s a collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms so common to betrayal, it’s known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. 

People spend so much time, money, effort, and energy going to the most well-meaning doctors, coaches, healers, therapists––to manage a stress-related symptom, illness, condition, or disease. At the root of all that stress is often an unhealed betrayal. Here’s what an unhealed betrayal can look like with regards to your health.

You can have trouble sleeping, you’re exhausted and you could be using sugar or caffeine to help you stay awake. Your immune system is compromised, your adrenals have tanked, you could be having digestive issues, weight changes, brain fog, and more.

Your Work

You want to be a team player, but you’re so afraid. The person you trusted the most proved untrustworthy––how can you trust a boss or coworker? 

Or

You want to ask for that raise or promotion, you deserve it––but your confidence was shattered in that betrayal. Instead, you don’t ask and you’re bitter and resentful, and that’s the energy that you’re bringing into work every day.

Your Relationships

You’re full of heartbreak, sadness, anxiety, and grief because you’ve been blindsided by an experience with betrayal. You have a hard time trusting other people and it’s affecting your day-to-day relationships. You may experience repeat betrayals (a clear sign of an unhealed betrayal). You can also put that big wall up which prevents anyone from getting near you and your heart again. Sure you’re keeping out the bad ones…but you’re keeping out the good ones too.

You can’t undo a betrayal, but you’re in control of how long it affects your relationships, your health, your work, and your life. The gift in betrayal is that it lays the foundation for transformation, that’s IF we’re willing to use the experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. IF you choose to rebuild your life and the aspects of yourself that were hard hit like rejection, abandonment, confidence, worthiness, belonging and trust.

Rebuilding is always a choice. You have the option to rebuild yourself and move on or (if the situation lends itself and if you’re willing), you can rebuild an entirely new relationship with the person who hurt you.

Trauma is the setup for transformation. It can be used as the catalyst and incentive to create a new version of yourself that never would have had the opportunity to show up had the experience not happen. That’s Post Betrayal Transformation and since you’ve been through the worst of it already, you owe it to yourself to do something good with something that caused so much pain.

You’re not alone and you can heal from all of it.

Dr. Debi, Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Why Reinvention and Transformation are Key Trends for 2022

Nearly everyone I know has experienced challenges as a result of the pandemic.  However there have also been a number of unanticipated gifts as a result that have been life-changing (I wrote an article about this in Oct 2020).  

One notable example has been the so-called “Great Resignation,” which is an ongoing trend of employees voluntarily choosing to leave their jobs in the pursuit of a more flexible lifestyle and greater meaning in their lives overall.  This phenomenon was fostered as we were all tethered to our homes throughout the pandemic, and many of us realized that we had more time with our families and loved ones – and reduced stress and loss of time as a result of fewer meetings, office politics, and soul-crushing commutes.

We started to realize what really mattered to each of us – and it wasn’t necessarily more material goods, but instead doing things that best used our talents and passions, and that created meaning, legacy and impact in our lives. Many of us realized that through technology we had the means of being able to work from home remotely and do just as good a job as we could have done in the office – if not better without a commute and fewer distractions.  And as importantly, the reasons why many choose to leave companies is because of bad managers that don’t honor, empower and validate them as unique individuals.

As a trusted advisor, this is the work I do with my clients who are often at a “what’s next” crossroads. My goal is to empower them, help them see possibilities they may not see for themselves, and transform the quality and the meaning of their lives so that they do more of what lights them up and fulfills them now — not waiting for someday — vs what others think they should do, and living with constraints imposed on them like shackles.  We weren’t meant to live life that way; that’s simply a recipe for despair.

Imagine instead a life of following your intuition, knowing exactly what you are meant to do in this life, and having the ability to pursue the path that’s calling to you. Imagine having a sense of direction, living life to the fullest, and playing full out on your own terms with a sense of agency and sovereignty.  When people are following their passion, living their gifts and talents, and pursuing what they are called to do, they are happier, more fulfilled and operating at peak capacity, and they create a ripple effect that uplifts others in their circle by extension. So the transformation at hand is a reflection of the insights many of us came to during this period of isolation and remote work, fueled by the pandemic, which has caused us to re-assess all of these things and more.

Here are a few tips to consider as you contemplate transforming aspects of your work and life:

  • Do you enjoy what you do for work? – If not, what can you to do take steps to shift into something that’s a better fit?
  • Do you have a clear vision for what you want your life to look like – your relationships, your work, your lifestyle, and how much you really need to have the life you envision that would bring you the most pleasure?
  • Can you afford to make a change that would bring you greater meaning and fulfillment?  If not, what steps can you take to adjust your lifestyle – from paring back on unnecessary expenses to re-locating to a more affordable location?
  • Do you have a support network that works for you – or are you tolerating relationships that no longer serve you (professionally and/or personally)?   If so, it may be time to take stock, re-assess and make changes that will ultimately create more happiness, peace of mind, and bring you greater fulfillment.
  • Last but not least, what is it that gives your life meaning and fulfillment?  How many of the things that do are in your life right now today, and what can you do to manifest more of the things you envision?  Starting creating and living your legacy today.

Reinventing and transforming your life can be challenging, yet at the same time the rewards are well worth whatever transitions you go through to craft a life that empowers and lights you up on all fronts. That’s something worth paying attention to this year!

Categories
Growth Human Resources Personal Development

Why Training Plays a Critical Role in Hiring and Keeping the Best Employees

Keeping employees from quitting their jobs after only a year or two is becoming a bigger challenge for many businesses across the county. Is it a problem for you?

“The New Reality of Employee Loyalty,” an article that Peter K. Murdock wrote for Forbes, suggests that in order to keep new employees, companies should discuss their career futures with them and have three-year development plans in place. “If you can’t see where your employee will be in three years within your organization, assume they will be working for someone else,” Murdock writes. And he is probably right.

Yet because Tortal Training is a training development company, we know another secret for building employee loyalty . . .

Offer top-notch, comprehensive training for new employees

Why is training a secret for both hiring and keeping new hires? Here are some of the reasons we have seen.

  • Great training convinces new hires that you care about keeping them with you in the years ahead. If you demonstrate your willingness to invest in training employees, they realize that you believe in them and want them to be with you for the long term.
  • Great training sets your company apart from others. When job-hunters are given the choice of working for a company with a comprehensive training program and one that does not, they consistently decide to work for the company that does. It only makes sense.
  • A comprehensive onboarding program that brings in a wide variety of your new hires demonstrates that you are not a company that discriminates on the basis of background, religion, ethnicity, lifestyle or other factors. Your training program can be a vibrant and engaging experience that tells everyone, “This is a company where you belong.”
  • Training that teaches your company history and values increases the perceived worth of working for you. It shows that you are not only training people to perform specific tasks, but to join a company that stands for something. Note that videos that tell the history of your organization and that profile your leaders and customers are a low-cost way to create a compelling, value-added training experience that lays the foundation for employee satisfaction and long-term employment.

Another Way to Use Training to Encourage Retention . . .

As Peter K. Murdoch notes in his Forbes article, it is important to take the extra step of using training as a time to create long-term development plans for every new hire you bring on board. If you offer management training programs for employees, for example, talk about them. If you can identify certain hires for specific promotional tracks, talk about those opportunities during onboarding training. New retail salespeople can enter training programs to become future store managers, for example, and IT technicians can take additional training to join your team of digital marketers.

If you want your new employees to envision a bright future working for you, remember that training is the place to start. To learn more, contact Tortal Training today.

Evan Hackel is CEO of Tortal Training, a leading training development company headquartered in Charlotte, North Carolina. Tortal uses strategic engagement methodologies and specializes in developing mobile training platforms for organizations with distributed workforces. Evan is also Founder and Principal of Ingage Consulting, a management and leadership consulting firm located in Woburn, Massachusetts. Evan is an expert advisor on the C-Suite Network.