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Body Language Personal Development Women In Business

Three Steps To Overcoming Resistance

How many times have you set a goal but never got around to doing anything to achieve it? Maybe you started making progress and then something got in the way.

We are not accountable to ourselves like we are to others. In fact, a study found that only 4% percent of people who were considered “nonresolvers” were successful in their goals.

As an executive mentor and trainer, I have seen firsthand that resistance can be the enemy to achieving our goals. Even though we really want to accomplish these things in life, resistance pulls us back to the status quo. Everyone wants to be healthy, eat right, go to the gym and achieve that killer body. We want others to see us as confident, credible, and trustworthy. However, we fall short of taking the necessary actions to get there.

We have a better chance of achieving our goals if we have accountability partners. We value the time, energy, and attention they commit to helping us, more so than we feel that obligation to ourselves. Because we feel a sense of responsibility and commitment to them, they are more likely to be able to help us reach those goals. When left on our own, excuses overpower our willpower. We fall victim to our resistance, avoiding the hard work needed to meet our goals. When another person is involved, we avoid making excuses because we don’t want to disappoint them or disrespect their commitment to us.

If you’ve hired a personal trainer or have a committed workout buddy, it’s hard to flake out. You don’t want to disappoint those who are trying to help you. In fact, in researching accountability, the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) discovered that people have a 65% chance of reaching a goal if they have an accountability partner.

We all fight resistance, me included. Full disclosure: I despise writing. I’d rather do almost anything than be alone, writing. I schedule it on my calendar and share it with someone on my team to hold me accountable and follow through. That’s when I know follow-through is a must. I go to a coffee shop where others are working, which compels me to write.

Trust me, I know that you are stronger than your resistance. You deserve to be your best every day, to have influence, confidence, and credibility, but you need to own it and do the work.

This week, every time you start fighting with your resistance, take on these three action steps immediately:

1. Find The Right Accountability Partner

Identify someone you trust, whose feedback will be honest and thorough. Ideal accountability partners are those you respect and whom you don’t want to disappoint. This person can be trying to accomplish the same goal or just be a support resource, making sure you don’t skip out on the hard work, succumbing to the resistance. Entrepreneurs can find accountability partners at networking events where other like-minded business owners gather to learn from each other. This is a great way to get to know others with the same types of goals and needs.

2. Schedule A Standing Appointment

Schedule a reoccurring appointment, once a week, to meet with your accountability partner. Respect and honor your commitment to this time. This standing appointment should have as much significance to your calendar as a client appointment or meeting with your boss. If you are a business owner partnering with another entrepreneur, you can relate to how limited their valuable time is. This provides you both with more incentive to be fully prepared for and honor the standing appointment.

Schedule the activities you may be resisting — going to the gym, writing that article, or whatever it may be. If your child was in a play tonight, it would be on your calendar, and you would show up. If you had a client meeting scheduled for 10 a.m. tomorrow, you would be there without question.

Science has shown us that jotting commitments down on the calendar helps us push past the resistance. The ASTD’s study found that your chance of successfully reaching a goal rises to 95% when you establish an ongoing appointment with your accountability partner.

Throughout the week, prepare by making notes of your progress and efforts. Have a no-excuse attitude. You wouldn’t show up unprepared to a client site. You wouldn’t want to disrespect other business owners or leaders knowing the demands of their time. Don’t treat this appointment any differently.

3. Be Honest

Setbacks happen. No one is perfect. We all experience situations that challenge our focus to achieve our goals. When this happens, own it. This is not the time to give in to a one-time setback. Instead, be honest with your accountability partner, and accurately share the situation. Discuss ways to avoid future setbacks and how you’re going to recommit to your goal the next week.

Commit to what your accountability partner can expect from you in the next meeting, and then write it down. This ensures everyone is focused on the next step necessary in reaching your goal.

You can beat your resistance. By utilizing the power of an accountability partner, you become bigger than your excuses. You start achieving your goals by conquering the resistance. Your confidence increases and you show up at your best every day.

Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“What Hidden Value Is There In Being A Better Negotiator” – Negotiation Insight

“To increase value’s perception, become a better negotiator.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (click to Tweet)       Click here to get the book!


“What Hidden Value Is There In Being A Better Negotiator”

People do not realize they are always negotiating.

My negotiation skills are not bad. I know I could become a better negotiator. But I do not see the hidden value in being a better negotiator. Is there one?

That was part of a conversation one friend had with another. The friend had asked about the importance of enhancing his negotiation skills and whether there were benefits to becoming a better negotiator.

Do you know the value of becoming a better negotiator? Do you know what you need to do to become one? Continue, and you will receive information that will help you negotiate better in every aspect of your life. And, you will also uncover information about why you need to become a better negotiator. You will also discover how to use your enhanced skills to enrich all aspects of your life.

You are standing at the door of lifelong knowledge. Click here to enter!

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/


After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com


To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight,” click here https://themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/blog


Growth Leadership Personal Development

Handling Conflict as A Leader

Visit KeepLeadingPodcast.com to access the full content for this episode!

Hello, everyone! I am Eddie Turner, The Leadership Excelerator®. In this episode of the Keep Leading!® podcast (#107), I interview Dr. Jen Goldman-Wetzler. She is an organizational psychologist and the founder & CEO of Alignment Strategies Group.  We discuss “Handling Conflict as a Leader.” Jen explains how to deal with conflict and achieving conflict resolution. Here’s some of the information you’ll learn in this podcast.

What is Conflict?

Conflict is part of our human experience.  For some, it’s part of daily life. We may notice conflict emerging when we interact with someone, and it does not feel right. We may find ourselves intentionally avoiding someone, or we may not treat someone the way we should.

For a leader, an ineffective resolution of conflict can derail success at work and home. However, there are times when conflict can be a healthy element of life. In business, for example, it can lead to creativity and innovation— particularly when you have teams with diverse perspectives.

Situations When Conflict is Destructive for a Leader

As a leader, you must identify when a conflict is healthy and is helping you be more innovative and when it is not and therefore detrimental.

Destructive Conflict Situations

  • When you are going around and around in circles and not getting the required answers
  • When you are not coming up with the solutions that you thought you were going to.
  • When you feel like banging your head up against the wall while trying to get your team to do something different, but they are resisting and not doing it.
  • The ‘under the surface’ kind of conflict that bubbles up now and again and then dies down only to explode later, which you do not want to see or do anything about it.

People often get stuck on a conflict loop going around and around without any outcome due to certain conflict habits.

The Four Conflict Habits

  • We avoid conflicts because we don’t know what to do about them. So we either blame other people or blame and shame ourselves.
  • We shut down in the face of recurring conflict.
  • We relentlessly seek collaboration with other people and yet fail to get anywhere.
  • We waste time, energy, money, and resources- trying to achieve a ‘win-win’ solution with someone who does not cooperate with us.

Each of these four habits can be useful and can lead to healthy conflict outcomes unless a leader uses it habitually.

Handling Conflict

As a leader, dealing with destructive conflict situations or conflicting habits is about freeing yourself from them. If even one person makes a change, the entire relationship can get better in conflict situations.

Steps for Handling Conflicts as A Leader

Step 1        Stop, pause, and notice what is going on.

Step 2        Identify the conflict habit.

Step 3        Break the habitual response pattern.

  • If a person shuts down during conflict, you need to cool off over a weekend or let it go for a few days. It can jolt the other person out of their habitual way.
  • If a person has a conflict-avoiding habit, have a conversation with them. Share the truth with love, care, and respect.

Step 4        Be more direct in letting others know what you need.

Step 5        Empower yourself by learning negotiation skills to resolve conflicts with a win-win outcome.


Eddie Turner is the Keep Leading!® podcast host—a podcast dedicated to leadership development and insights.  Subscribe and Share wherever you get your podcasts.  Follow Eddie Turner on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook! Visit www.EddieTurnerLLC.com to learn more!