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Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Negotiator – This Is How To Best Crush A Bully” – Negotiation Insight

“Confronting a bully is as tough as you allow him to make it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

 

“Negotiator – This Is How To Best Crush A Bully”

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

As the bully sat across the negotiation table, she thought, I’m going to crush him! He’s a weak negotiator. He’s going to make one concession after another, and I’m not going to give him anything without putting up a big fight. He’ll think he’s arrived in hell by the time this negotiation is over.

You’ve just entered the twilight zone! What do you do now?  Click here to discover how you can better deal with a bully!

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Would You Like To Be A More Powerful Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To be seen as being powerful, you must first see the power within yourself.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

“Would You Like To Be A More Powerful Negotiator”



People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

In every aspect of your life, you’re negotiating. The vast majority of people don’t realize that. Thus, to become more successful, you must become a more powerful negotiator! Why? Because the better your negotiation skills become, the more successful you’ll be as a negotiator. And that will allow you to obtain more in your daily activities. So, would you like to be a more powerful negotiator? If the answer is yes, observe the following.

 

Getting Better Answers

Asking questions as a negotiator is a way you gather information during the negotiation. But the questions you ask, and the way you ask them is what’ll determine the quality of information you receive. To get better answers, listen carefully. Be attentive to how people speak and what they say, so you know what questions to ask that’ll get them to give you better answers.

When people speak, they give insight into what’s important. A negotiator does that by the emphasis he places on certain words or phrases, the gestures he emits as he’s talking, and the reflections displayed when he pauses while speaking. That’s what you can observe to determine the questions to ask.

As an example, if a negotiator talks whimsically about a time he obtained a significant achievement, most likely, he’s speaking from a position of pride. Thus, during the negotiation, ask questions that put him back into that mindset. And imply that he can experience that sensation again. That will give you momentary power. And with it, he’ll be more inclined to accept your offer at that time.

 

Control Emotions

How did you feel mentally, the last time you engaged in an activity that required alertness, and you were emotionally distraught? If you’re like most people, you experienced sluggishness in your thinking and responses. You weren’t firing on all cylinders. That’s what occurs when you enter a negotiation, and you’re depressed. You don’t perform at your optimum level, which means you’re less likely to perform at your peak.

As a negotiator, emotions can be daunting to deal with during a negotiation. You have natural highs and lows, depending on what’s occurring as your bargaining. While it can be easy to say control your emotions when you negotiate, in reality, it can become a more challenging task to accomplish.

So, what might you do to control the destruction that taut emotions can bring to a negotiation? You can role-play, before the talks, to get a sense of the feelings you might experience during the proceedings. You could also consider having another negotiator, as a teammate, to deflect and combat negative emotions that might occur. And you can establish walkaway points, marked by a heightened state of emotions, that signals your departure from the hagglings.

The point is, you must control your emotions to negotiate effectively. Thus, the better you manage your feelings, the more significant will be the probability of you having a successful outcome. And since you know the role and value that emotions have on your negotiation, plan how you’ll control them before you engage in your next one.

 

Empathy’s Role

He doesn’t care about me. He’s the negotiator type that only wants the best outcome for himself. Have you ever heard someone say that about a person with whom they’d be negotiating? A lack of empathy can wreak havoc in a negotiation because it has an enormous role per how negotiators perceive one another. I’ve witnessed some negotiators improve the deal for their counterpart because the other negotiator displayed an interest in that person’s wellbeing. That’s the added value that empathy can have.

During a negotiation, when possible, let your counterpart sense the emotional care you have about his plight. Display through your actions that you have a sincere desire to be fair. With a negotiator that’s like-minded, he’ll appreciate your gesture and reward you with an easier going negotiation. You will have exercised a peaceful power that ignited the desire for him to reciprocate.

 

Accept Reality

If you wish to become a more powerful negotiator, you must learn to deal with reality. Some negotiators engage in negotiations too long. That causes them to become more emotionally involved, which pulls them deeper into staying engaged. They do so because psychologically, they want to see the outcome. In some cases, it’s like watching a movie that’s so bad; you can’t tear yourself away from it. Don’t allow this to happen to you!

When you first sense the minimum goals for the negotiation may be too far out of reach, begin to consider how you’ll exit. The sooner you withdraw from a situation that’s not getting better, the faster you can address one that may produce a more significant benefit. And that’s the value of accepting reality.

 

Positioning

Everything mentioned thus far, getting better answers, controlling emotions, the role of empathy, and accepting reality, can be enhanced through your positioning. Positioning is the tool that sets the stage per how others will perceive you. Thus, if you’re situated correctly before engaging in a negotiation, you’ll have a more significant opportunity to impact those activities.

You can position yourself by understanding the mindset of the person with whom you’ll be negotiating. That means you must know that person’s preferences, likes, and dislikes. Once you have those insights, display those characteristics when you’re in her presence. You can have others project your persona that she views as influencers. That will assist your attempts exponentially. It will also be the leverage that allows you to be a more powerful negotiator during your interactions.

 

Reflection

I started by suggesting you heighten the sense that you negotiate in every aspect of your life. And I suggested, to acquire more in life, you must become a better negotiator. By employing the insider-thoughts presented, you can increase your negotiation abilities. That will make you a more powerful negotiator. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Powerful #BodyLanguageSecrets #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Do You Want To Know How To Make Better Decisions” – Negotiation Insight

“The best decision you’ll ever make is the one you corrected when it hurt the most.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

“Do You Want To Know How To Make Better Decisions”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

Are you aware of the number of decisions you make every day in your life? The answer is, probably not. A lot of your choices are automatic. And yet some decisions are more critical than others because they have a significant impact on your life. You can make better decisions, which will allow you to achieve better outcomes in your life. And here’s how you can improve your decision-making abilities.

 

Ask The Right Questions

Asking questions will always garner additional information. But the wrong queries can take you down an unwanted path. That can cause rebound difficulties. And, once you rebound, you’ll be back where you started. Which means you will have wasted time.

First, you must know your core values. That will assist in leading you to ask better questions, which in turn will lead to better decisions. If your choices don’t align with your core values, you could find yourself seesawing between preferences that don’t serve your goals. Meaning, you’ll make decisions like a rudderless boat in the middle of a stormy ocean, wondering why it’s challenging to reconcile adverse conditions.

To decrease the chances of being rudderless, be mindful of the questions you ask, and where the answers may lead. If you don’t like where they may lead, ask better questions. And don’t stop asking questions until you’re satisfied that you have the right answers.

 

Know Your Biases

Everyone possesses preferences, which are their biases. And your preferences will color your perspective when you make decisions. Thus, you must guard them during your evaluation process when determining the course of action you’ll adopt. It would help if you were mindful of four particular kinds of biases when making decisions.

  • Sunk Cost Fallacy

How many times have you said to yourself, well, I’ve gone this far – I might as well go further? And then, later, you kicked yourself for not getting out of a situation sooner. When you went through that experience, sunk cost fallacy afflicted your thought process.

To make better decisions, understand how you arrived at your present destination. In particular, assess where you thought you’d be versus where you are. It would have behooved you to have installed points of measurement for that purpose.

The point is, don’t allow a decision that turns bad to pull you deeper into worse decisions. Have a cutoff point. And don’t worry about what you’ve invested thus far. Just be aware that what’s gone is gone. Don’t lose more by chasing what you’ve lost. By cutting your losses at a predetermined point, you’ll save more resources going forward. And that will enhance your decision-making abilities.

 

  • Self-Serving

Some decisions you’ll evaluate will appear more pleasing because they cast you as the person of success in the outcome. You may think, and what’s wrong with that? After all, you’re attempting to make decisions that improve your plight in life.

The problem with seeing yourself in that role is, it could blot out alternatives that might offer better choices. And, since you see yourself as the heroic character, you may become inclined to accepting more thoughts that lead to making more decisions along that path. Then, you’d be stuck if that was the wrong path. Thus, your challenge becomes, seek answers that lead to improving your decision-making abilities. But don’t pursue solutions for the sake of merely confirming your biases. That would be self-serving.

  • Cognitive Fluency

Cognitive fluency entails how you perceive something based on its appearance or ease of consumption. Thus, if something is more pleasing to you, you’ll have a higher propensity to look upon it favorably. Accordingly, as you seek to make decisions, you’ll accept data that are more aligned with what you think it should represent.

Again, your biases will be an underlining force that’s guiding your decision-making process. That’s not to say that it’s wrong. It’s to say, if it sounds too right, be aware of how you’re coming to the conclusions you’re making when reaching your decisions.

  • Confirmation Bias

Most people have a sense of pleasure knowing that they’re right about a matter. Thus, they seek information from sources that confirm their position. And that can become a problem when making decisions.

If you only seek data that supports your current position, you’ll tend to ignore data that opposes it. And that will leave your decisions wanting for input that might have led to a better outcome. To thwart the exclusion of insights that may oppose your position, keep an open mind, and be willing to hear opposing opinions. Doing so will allow you to make more decisive and better decisions.

 

Intuition

Everyone is intuitive – but everyone doesn’t observe their intuition. When you ‘have a feeling about something,’ that’s your intuition signaling. When making decisions, they must become finely tuned to your intuition – because intuition is the messenger delivering signals from your subconscious mind to your state of consciousness.

Every day you’re bombarded with thousands of sensory perceptions. As your brain assesses what’s vital for your wellbeing, it determines what to pass to your consciousness. Things that it deems as less critical don’t make that trip. But you do sense some of them lightly. And that’s intuition, which is why it’s essential to pay attention to it when making decisions.

 

Cabals

When weighing decisions, consider conspirators that may be waiting to thwart your efforts because those efforts would threaten their goals. Being aware of secret forces that are against you will help you make better decisions. In some situations, that insight will sway you from engaging in choices that may have put you on a collision course, which could be a colossal waste of time. Just be mindful that every decision you make impacts someone. The more powerful that entity is, and the degree they’re opposed to your choices, the more careful you should be about making such decisions.

 

Reflection

Since your decisions rule many aspects of your life, the sooner you begin making better decisions, the more significant will be the outcomes. That will also enhance your opportunities and growth. If that’s what you seek, I suggest you embrace the thoughts that I presented. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Decisions #BodyLanguageSecrets #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Negotiator – This Is How To Avoid Manipulation Of False Choices” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To avoid manipulation from offering false choices, know their intent.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“Negotiator – This Is How To Avoid Manipulation Of False Choices”

 

As a kid, when my friends and I played games that required choosing who’d go first, we flipped a coin. While one person flipped the coin, the other person would call heads or tail. Then, one day before a coin flip, one of my friends said to the other, “heads I win, tails, you lose.” And after the coin flip, he won the call. We were very young, and initially, we were unaware of the manipulation that had occurred. Later in life, as a negotiator, I understood how choices could lead to manipulation and how manipulation can lead people to engage in actions that are against their self-interest.

The following information will help you avoid being manipulated, as a result of people offering you false choices.

 

Expectation

A good negotiator is aware of setting goals for a negotiation. And she’s doubly conscious that she’ll have to make choices throughout the talks to achieve her goals. Part of that process is setting the expectations of the opposing negotiator, such that he will have a perspective of what he can achieve. The setting of expectations also assists in avoiding being manipulated by an opposer that might offer false choices.

Thus, before, and sometimes during a negotiation, the better you are at setting expectations, the lower the probability will become that false options will thwart you. And that will enhance your negotiation abilities, interactions with the other negotiator, along with a smoother negotiation process.

 

Identifying Choices

Okay. Now that you’ve set expectations, what should you be aware of when offered choices during the negotiation? The answer is, it depends. It depends on the strategy you’ve set per what you thought would occur during the process. And you should take into account the events that happen during the negotiation that you’d not anticipated. Per the latter, if someone offers you a choice such as the “heads I win, tails you lose” scenario, which you now know is an attempt to manipulate you into a false choice, you can turn the tables. One way to do that is to let the other negotiator know you’re aware of the manipulation attempts that might occur. If she asks why you’re making that statement, tell her you’re stating it so both of you can avoid them, which will make the negotiation process less challenging.

 

Weighing Options

There’s another facet to consider when weighing choices. Some negotiators will offer options in a yes or no format or an either-or perspective. The point is, some choices lead you to a false premise. Those choices limit your options, and the ability to improve your outcome.

Be aware of when a negotiator offers such decisions to you. And be mindful of when someone is attempting to place you in an untenable position. By being alert to their efforts, it’ll help you slip the bind they try to put you in with false choices. So, make sure you weigh your options and consider where someone’s attempts may be attempting to take you.

 

Antithesis

An antithesis is a direct opposite of what’s said or done prior. Thus, you should be aware of when a negotiator presents a choice in this manner because it can be the beginning stage of manipulation. The reason being, an option offered in this manner, might be akin to a good cop, bad cop offer.

That means, if you don’t accept the first choice, the second one will be worse, and the following options will be worse than the preceding ones. Thus, if you’re not mentally alert to what’s occurring, you could find your emotions pulling you down a path that you should be avoiding. Why? Because the pathway will be taking you further away from your goals.

 

Negative Thoughts

Another form of manipulation stems from negative thoughts your opponent has about you or those you have about her. That’s why you should assess her thoughts before the beginning of a negotiation – because negative thoughts impact one’s perception, and it influences their interaction.

Suppose you’re aware that negative thoughts exist between negotiators. What should you do? It would be best if you attempted to improve the relationship before you negotiate. If you don’t, both of you may become drawn into a manipulative course of negative actions as the result of ill feelings.

To combat negative emotions, offer to be collaborative in your efforts to achieve an acceptable outcome. In a worst-case scenario, your opponent may reject your offer. If she does, you might consider asking her how, or if, she’d like to proceed. If she says she doesn’t want to continue, you may have avoided a tumultuous experience from which you’ll probably be better off. On the positive side, if she’s amenable to your offer, you may be able to lower your guard. But don’t drop it too much, you may have to raise it quickly.

 

Anger

Above all, when engaging in a negotiation, control your emotions. Don’t let anger shade your decisions or how you view the other negotiator. If you don’t control anger, you invite the opportunity for manipulation to foster choices that may not be pertinent per the solution required.

When you sense anger is on the rise, get away from the environment. Call a time out. When you’re in an angered state, it’s best to calm yourself before engaging in any action. Doing that will save you future challenges and problems in the negotiation.

 

Reflection

To a degree, it’s a negotiator’s job during a negotiation to pose questions that help her maximize her outcome. Thus, it behooves her to offer manipulation choices that take her counterpart in the direction that suits her goals. As her counter negotiator, it’s your job to present her with manipulation choices. Thus, both of your efforts are to thwart the other’s attempt from causing the outcome to be lopsided against themselves. Therefore, by being attentive to the choices offered, and where those choices may lead, you can avoid the manipulation that’s inherent in every negotiation. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://c-suitenetwork.com/radio/shows/greg-williams-the-master-negotiator-and-body-language-expert-podcast/

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Choices #Manipulation #BodyLanguageSecrets #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Growth Human Resources Negotiations Skills Women In Business

“This Is How To Conquer A Scary Negotiation Bully” – Negotiation Insight

“The scary thing about fear is whether you dare to conquer it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

“This Is How To Conquer A Scary Negotiation Bully”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

She bullied me in that negotiation. Why did you allow her to bully you, was the question asked by the associate? I’m not sure. I think I did because she was tough, mean, and scary. I was intimidated by the tone and tactics she used and the berating she subjected me to throughout our talks. I know I lost the negotiation. But I just wanted to get away from her.

The preceding conversation occurred between two associates. They were talking about a buzzsaw of a woman that one of them had encountered during his negotiation. When dealing with a bully, you learn as much about yourself as you do the bully, especially when it comes to the actions you take to avoid danger.

It’s natural to avoid danger. That’s what cautions your brain when you sense it. But too much caution can paralyze you into a state of inaction. And that won’t benefit you in the long run. Thus, when dealing with a bully, consider the following ideas.

 

Assessing Power

  • Understanding Bully’s Self-View

Before you can understand a bully’s motivation, you must recognize how he sees himself. Does he consider himself to be a stable genius or some other praiseworthy phrase to represent himself? If so, that might be a sign that he’s riding high on his ego. Whether it’s warranted might be something to question. The arching point is, by understanding his self-view, you’ll have an idea from which to create a defense based on that perception.

  • Sources of Power

It’s always advisable to understand the source of a bully’s power. One way to identify his power sources is to observe who he follows, what the norms are of the followers, and to what degree he’s motivated to stay in favor with them. With that information, you can become better prepared to confront and conquer his forays against you.

  • Why You

Ask yourself, why is the bully, bullying you. Does he sense weakness that he can exploit? If so, what is that weakness, and how can you overcome his perception? The more insight you can gather about this aspect of a bully, the more understanding you’ll have to conquer his actions.

  • Bully’s Needs

Okay. You have a perspective about the bully’s sources of power. But the essential component of that assessment is why the bully seeks authority. And what needs does power satisfy for him? Most people become driven to have dominion over something. But most people temper the way they go about achieving it. A bully’s drive for such a quest can be born from feeling insignificant, the desire to live up to someone’s expectation, or the need for acceptance. By identifying his needs, you capture the ambitions behind his actions.

 

Assembling Allies

  • Your Best Allies
    • At some point, you must confront the bully. To do that, consider the allies you’ll utilize to assist you. Your best supporters will be those the bully fears, and those that’ll stand with you in confronting the bully.

 

  • Know Bully’s Allies
    • Having a sense of who supports the bully will help you understand his source of strength. It’ll also help when targeting those that might assist you. And that knowledge will allow you to be better prepared when you confront the bully.

 

  • Utilizing Influencers
    • While a bully’s supporters may be his influencers, there may be others that the bully would like to emulate. If you identify them, and they align with your thoughts, you can point to them as role models for the bully to follow. That would give him something to consider per altering his behavior.

 

Addressing The Bully

  • Confronting The Bully
    • Before engaging the bully, plan your approach, and determine which negotiation strategies you’ll use. Also, prepare for how you’ll inform him of his actions related to him bullying you.

 

  • In considering how you’ll approach the subject of his bullying, you must consider the best time to do it. You don’t want to engage him when others are with him – that might serve as energy for him to become more aggressive.

 

  • Once engagement occurs, attempt to control the narrative. The person controlling the conversation controls the discussion. Be polite, but firm.

 

 

  • Using Negotiation Tactics
    • A significant tactic that negotiators employ is to divide and conquer. And it’s one you should consider using. The point of gathering allies of the bully was to assess who might flip to your side. Thus, to utilize this tactic, give his supporters an incentive to flip. The more of them you can turn, the more leverage you’ll have when dealing with the bully.

 

  • Another strategy is to threaten the bully by challenging his power source. In some cases, his supporters may not know he’s using their cachet. By threatening to reveal his antics to those individuals, you might create the pressure needed for him to abandon bullying you.

 

  • Some bullies are so full of themselves that you can lure them into untenable situations by using bait. The bait could be getting him to secretly attempt to obtain something of which his supporters would find distasteful. Your goal is to create conflict amongst him and his supporters. To that end, you should use bait that’s almost too good for him to pass up. If he takes the bait, sound an alarm to his supporters without having it associated with you. That will keep his focus off of you.

 

Reflection

The information could have been simply titled, “How To Conquer A Bully” because whether one is scary or not, he can cause angst to rise in you. And since you’re always negotiating, regardless of whom you’re dealing with, you employ negotiation strategies in your interactions. Thus, the title intends to convey a pinpointed perspective from a broad point of view. Therefore, while dealing with a bully can be scary, if you employ the insights mentioned, you’ll have a better chance of thwarting a bully’s attempts to bully you. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/CSN3928767635?selected=CSN2004356661

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#BodyLanguageSecrets #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Body Language Human Resources Leadership Negotiations Sales Skills

“This Is The Best Way To Read Body Language Secrets Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“The knowing of a secret lacks value when the secret’s value remains unknown.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 Click here to get the book!

 

“This Is The Best Way To Read Body Language Secrets Better”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

As she spoke about her desires, she stammered for a nanosecond as she began to pronounce the letter ’b,’ before shifting the word to millionaire. And at that moment, he heard her thoughts changing, even though she’d not said the word, billionaire. So, he asked why she’d altered her perspective based on her word change. She said becoming a millionaire was a lot easier than becoming a billionaire, and that’s what prompted the modification. Then, she asked how he knew she was thinking of the word billionaire. He said, “I read body language. And that ability allows me to uncover someone’s secrets, even when they start to utter one word and change it to another.”

There’s an aspect to reading body language that consists of more than noting what someone says when they speak, and the manner they carry themselves. Deciphering someone’s body language also consists of observing the actions they emit and the utterances they make when speaking. To unlock their secrets, you should also be aware of the emphasis they place on certain words and their pace of speech – noting in particular when it changes. You can uncover lots of secrets based on someone’s body language if you’re aware of what to observe and recognize what you’ve detected when it occurs. And the way to accomplish that is what you’re about to discover.

 

Listening Closely

Did you hear what she did? If the question was about something said by someone, instead of their actions, at first, that might sound like an incoherent question. Did you hear what she did?

But when it comes to reading body language, you must attune your hearing to the words someone speaks. Even more important, you should listen to what someone says after they alter what they were going to say. And thus, when the lady in the opening section began to make the ‘b’ sound in billionaire, before changing it to a millionaire, the escaping ‘b’ sound revealed her thoughts.

Since a person emits words from their mouth, and that’s a part of their body, while not a standard gesture in the traditional sense of reading body language, word emittance bears witness to disclosing someone’s thoughts. And that’s the value born from listening carefully to what and how someone makes pronouncements. At the slightest indication of a word change, the thrust behind it is a change in thought. The reason for the change is what you should note.

 

Observance

Did you see what she said? Not only should you listen to what’s said, but as stated, you should also pay attention to how and what someone says. A secret can ride inside of their message based on how they pose their statement or question. In the question, “did you see what she said,” that person is speaking from a visual modality. With that insight, if you chose to bond with that individual, you’d speak from the same perspective (i.e., using words that conveyed a visual context.) That would increase the probability of them revealing secrets.

Based on how someone makes a statement, it can sound like a question. And if someone intends to convey a strong sentiment, pronouncing it in almost an inaudible tone or one where the tonality lifts at the end, it’ll sound like a question, which will weaken it. Little insights like that can assist you in uncovering someone’s secrets based on the small verbal gestures they emit when speaking. Pay attention to such gestures, and you’ll become rewarded with incredible foresight.

 

Word Choice

While the word choices someone uses to represent their thoughts don’t fall directly under reading body language, it does leave clues to that person’s thought process. Even if their word choice conveys a slightly different meaning, the nuance in the slightness can allow you the opportunity to sight the difference in their mind and mood.

As an example, if a person said, “I’ll try to keep up. I don’t want to be left behind,” they’re conveying a different sentiment than if they’d said, “I’ll keep up. You’re not going to leave me behind.” In the last case, the person is displaying a definitive state of mind versus the first statement indicating that they’ll try to keep up, which sounds like they’re unsure of their ability to do so. Again, it bears stating, by observing the word choices that people make, you gain insight into their thought process. And that insight can give you an advantage when dealing with them.

 

Pace of Speech

The pace that someone speaks is governed in part by their geographical area, the topic discussed, and how that person feels, stressed/nonstressed, while speaking. Thus, as an indicator, when someone’s speaking pace becomes altered, the meaning they’re conveying is slightly changed too. You might note that action when someone is attempting not to reveal a secret, or when they’re in the process of concocting a story that’s not the truth. They’ll slow the pace of their speech to allow more time to think about what they’re saying before they speak.

Therefore, if you’re attentive to when someone increases or decreases their speaking pace, and note if it stems from just excitement or dread, you’ll have more information to assess the cause of the change. And once you’re aware of that, you can hone in on the purpose of that person’s alteration. While your assumptions may not be conclusive, the insight will give you an additional perspective from which to build a greater understanding of that individual.

 

Reflection

When reading someone’s body language, you still must look at a cluster of actions to accurately assess the meaning of their acts. That means, you must take into account when they speak while covering their mouth (i.e., holding back their words), the degree they focus on you versus the surroundings, what’s done with their feet while speaking, and the signs that indicate whether they’re stressed or calm. That cluster of actions will give you a peep into their inner thoughts.

But, to make that process more complete, and to unveil someone’s secrets, you must incorporate the ability to discern a deeper meaning of their thoughts. You can do that by listening more extensively to the word choices someone uses and when they alter the pace of their speech. That will give you a greater depth from which to uncover their secrets, which will also enhance your body language abilities. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/CSN3928767635?selected=CSN2004356661

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“What Will You Do When The Leader Is Powerless” – Negotiation Insight

“A leader is as powerful as his followers allow him to be.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

“What Will You Do When The Leader Is Powerless”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

Leaders possess power because others give it to them. And the power of a leader is continuously shifting, which makes the dynamics of a leader’s power something to note. While the shifts may occur over an extended time, if you observe the flow of its direction, you can insulate yourself from being on the wrong side of a leader’s waning power.

No matter what your title or function is, you’re a leader in some capacity. And that’s why you should be concerned about the flow of power below and above you. Those shifts impact the impact you have. Question – why might you not want to be on the side of a leader that’s losing influence, which is what power is? Answer – your power can decline when you’re associated with someone that’s losing his control.

The ensuing are insights about the sources of power and influence. You’ll also discover how to protect yourself when it stems from a more significant source, along with what you might consider when power is shifting.

 

Leadership Style

It’s essential to observe the style of a leader. It lends credence to what he promotes, why he commits specific actions, and what activities and causes he may engage. For this purpose, I sort leaders into two categories.

  • Selfish

Self-interest is a perspective that all leaders share. The difference between some is good leaders balance self-interest against the needs of their followers. But exceptional leaders put the interest of their followers ahead of their own.

One way to assess a leader’s style is to note when he places the interest of others above his own. Conversely, if you observe an increasing trend towards his self-interest, that might be your sign to disassociate from him – his followers will eventually do so. At worse, you should become more alert to the length of time a leader’s downward trend continues. Your fortunes and future will depend on the time you’re connected to him.

 

  • Selfless

A genuine selfless leader tends to be more appreciated by his followers. And, when given the choice of whom to follow, all things equal, this style is what most people will embrace. Accordingly, if you attach yourself to this leadership style, you’re more likely to attract a more profound following. Then, when the leader becomes powerless, depending on the situation, you’ll be more likely to step up, or into the leadership void.

 

Power Sources

It’s good to know the origins of a leader’s power. Once you’ve identified it, you can observe when that leader’s influence may expire.

  • Temporary Power

With temporary power, a leader can be in an ‘acting’ or trial bases position. No matter how long his supremacy lasts, in the overall scheme of time, all power sources are temporary. Therefore, when calculating the probability of a leader losing power, consider what he’s currently doing with it, and how people are responding. While addressing a leader that possesses temporary power can be beneficial to your cause, staying connected too long can become detrimental to your longterm goals.

  • Positional Power

A leader’s positional power stems from current circumstances and environments. Thus, his influence can constantly shift, based on changing conditions. And that may expose him to becoming powerless sooner than later. Consequently, some people may forego extending their loyalty to him.

While you can lend support to a leader that has positional power, you should consider how long he’ll have his status, what he’ll do when his power is gone, and who’ll assume the leadership mantle when it occurs. While connected to one leader, always keep an eye out for the one rising on the horizon. The latter will be the future, and since the future will become the present, you can gain more power by helping a future leader amass more authority today.

 

Protecting Power

  • Manage Expectations

Regardless of a leader’s power, he should always manage the expectations of how he’ll use it. If he doesn’t, others will set the expectations for him. If their expectations are overblown, the leader has a problem. The question then becomes, when will it occur, and how will he deal with it? That could create an opportunity for you if you’re savvy enough to warn him and then protect him from potential blowback. That should ingratiate him to you, which can serve as your top power source for the time being.

 

  • Observe Sources Of Power

You can gain insight when it’s time to untie bonds with a specific leader, based on how he conducts himself, and with whom he’s attracting as his followers. Since the dynamics of a leader’s power is dependent on his followers, when that base begins to decline due to his ill deeds, that might be your signal to unaffiliate with him. Otherwise, you may fall as he descends.

 

Leader’s Associates

  • Associate’s Goals

Understanding the goals of the leader’s associates’ will inform you of what they seek from him. That will allow you to gauge how long associates might follow that leader before disassociating. And that’ll be your tripwire as to when you might take action.

  • Controlling Your Power

Your power lies within the sources of a leader’s associates. Therefore, if you can impact a leader’s followers, you can have a degree of influence upon the leader. To maximize your efforts, stay close to the leader’s associates, but distant enough to avoid negativity once the leader’s power begins to wane. To do that, keep your ears and eyes open for a changing tide to ensure you’re not swept away by it.

 

Reflection

Everyone should be concerned about the leader with whom they give power. Even when it’s a close friend or associate, when you give someone power, you provide them with dominion over you. That impacts your life. Because that person will influence the way you think and your opportunities.

Thus, to the question of what will you do when the leader’s powerless, observe when the leader is losing power and break when appropriate. That’s not to say, desert a leader because he no longer has influence. It’s to state when a leader engages in dastardly deeds, and he’s a negative weight on your success, consider lifting your anchor. That will allow you to find a better leader. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Negotiator Do You Know How To Stop Deadly Emotions” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Emotions can be easy to control, once you learn how to control them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

 Click here to get the book!

 

“Negotiator: Do You Know How To Stop Deadly Emotions?”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

Negotiators engaged in easygoing negotiations attribute the flow of the talks to their emotions. For discussions burdened by slowdowns and setbacks, that too is usually due to emotions attached to the negotiation. And that’s why you should be alert to the feelings shown throughout your bargaining sessions. They impact how the interactions will progress and how each negotiator will view the other.

The following are insights on how to detect deadly emotions. The ideas will help you negotiate away from negative emotions that could ruin your talks. Once armed with this information, you’ll be able to avoid deadly conflicts at the negotiation table, while maintaining greater control of the negotiation.

 

Negotiator Psychology

Negotiators possess different mindsets at different stages during negotiations. That mindset becomes altered based on what occurs during the exchange of information. Thus, the triggers ignited within the minds of the negotiators, ignites the emotions that follow from the triggers. Accordingly, as is the case when dealing with people in general, you must take into consideration what prompted the mood they display. To that end, be aware of the following mindsets, along with what promotes them to become prevalent in your talks.

 

Aggrieved

A disturbed negotiator seeks ways to assuage his feelings. And if those disturbing feelings occur during a negotiation, he’ll most likely attempt to project his mood onto you. So, how might you contend with someone of this ilk? The answer is, it depends.

If the distempered demeanor is due to something he attributes to you, attempt to understand his emotional point of contention. You won’t know how to address his sourness until you uncover the reasoning for his discontentment.  After you’ve identified and attempted to correct his sulkiness, if his demeanor doesn’t shift, you may have to play hardball with a hardballer. If you’re up for it, prepare for battle. If not, seek someone to negotiate on your behalf.

 

Pleasing

This negotiator type can be easy. His temperament is one where he goes along to get along. Nevertheless, please don’t sell this individual short by thinking you can have your way because of his initial desire to be pleasing. If he perceives you as being overbearing, untrustworthy, or overly demanding, he may transform into the aggrieved negotiator mentioned a moment ago. And then, instead of stopping deadly emotions from hampering your negotiation, you may have just given life to the death of it.

 

Neutral

The neutral negotiator type enters the negotiation with emotions that are unaligned. That state is a, “let’s wait and see what happens. Then, I’ll adopt the persona that I’ll display.”

Since this person has an open mind when entering the negotiation, the way you treat him will shape his emotions. The trick is the balance you must maintain between acquiring what you want, compared to what he wants, and what you’re willing to give. That can be a delicate balancing act to perform. Still, if you and he maintain an exuberant state of emotions throughout the process, the avoidance of deadly emotions should be easy to accomplish.

 

Detecting Emotional Shifts

 

Mindfulness

Before becoming aware of unpleasant emotions, you must possess mindfulness about the environment. That means you must be mindful of verbal and nonverbal cues emitted by the other negotiator, along with other gestures that convey his emotional state of mind. If you miss those inputs, you’ll miss outcries for attention. And that could lead you deeper into a negotiation fraught with deadly emotions ahead.

 

Nonverbal Utterances

Per tones emitted, some negotiators convey their sentiment to statements made by grunting – that’s an example of a nonverbal emotional display. That grunt is a negotiator’s sign signaling the expression of his feelings. And that utterance will occur based on what was said or done. Note when it happens. It has meaning.

 

Communication

People communicate through their words, body language gestures, and nonverbal sounds. To detect when an emotional shift occurs, observe when someone’s verbiage becomes more pronounced, an escalation in their declarations, and heightened nonverbal communication. Such signs will denote a change in their mental attitude, which might be your sign to intervene to prevent their emotions from placing the negotiation in danger.

 

Controlling Emotional Flow

Savvy negotiators understand the power contained in controlling the emotions that flow during a negotiation. Thus, like an orchestra director, they seek to harmonize the talk to be pitch-perfect when such serves their needs. They’re also aware that tension in certain situations can create compliance. Thus, they engage in the sense of steadiness between having the most meaningful of emotions at the proper position at the appropriate time. Observe the following when attempting to control the emotional flow in your negotiation.

 

Course Correction

Every negotiation has course corrections. It’s in the form of accepting and rejecting offers and counteroffers. And during that process, talks can become vulnerable to emotional outbursts that lead to dangerous consequences.

Thus, you should pick an appropriate point in the negotiation to engage in a course correction. Such aspects might occur when the negotiators are tired, or when it’s time to eat. It can happen at any moment in which you can create an excuse to exit the negotiation for a break. What you’re seeking is a way to disrupt the events that are causing negativity to flow. By exiting the environment that’s causing tempers to create stress, you alleviate the source of the tension. Once you reassemble, do so with a pleasant demeanor in the atmosphere.

 

Reflection

Every negotiator displays emotions when they negotiate. Good negotiators use tactics, such as those mentioned, to control their emotions and those of the other negotiators. Once you become adept at utilizing the strategies mentioned, you’ll be in greater control of all of your negotiations. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Do You Know How To Easily Win More Negotiations” – Negotiation Insight

“Everyone believes negotiations are easy until one becomes difficult.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 Click here to get the book!

“Do You Know How To Easily Win More Negotiations”don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

That was one of the easiest negotiations we’ve had. Yeah, especially when you compare it to the one two weeks ago, when a member of the opposing team insulted me by referring to my mother as a female dog. I wish all of our negotiations were as easy as the one today. That was the exchange between two negotiation teammates, as they reflected on the talks they’d just concluded.

Some negotiations are more laid back, relaxed, and comfortable than others, due to several factors. The following information will allow you to control a discussion better by understanding the variables that shape its flow. The insights you’ll gain will give you the tools needed to shift gears quickly in a negotiation when such is required.

 

Assessment

 

The first step towards a successful negotiation is understanding the variables that shape your bargaining session. Such variables as the perceived value of what you’re negotiating, the negotiation style of the other negotiator, the allotted time, body language displayed, and how both of you address possible impasses, will impact your engagement.

Thus, the outcome will be determined by how you approach those variables and how adaptable you are during the negotiation. Do it right, and you’ll have more of a haggle-free interaction. Do it wrong, and your talks will become fraught with drama, dismay, and impasses that’ll lead to a dead-end outcome.

 

Variables To Consider

 

  1. Allotted Time

The time set aside for the negotiation is a factor to consider seriously. Because it impacts the actions that negotiators will engage in as time begins to run out. And thus, not only will it affect the mentality of the negotiators, it could become the factor that determines when people start to negotiate in earnest, along with the source of stress that can lead a negotiation to impasses.

 

  1. Peak Performance Time

Everyone has peak times when they’re most alert, creative, and productive. And that’s the time you should negotiate. It’s even more important to do that when you’re at critical points in the negotiation. To maximize peak time performance, attempt to uncover the other negotiator’s peak performance times, too. With that information, you can attempt to negotiate when he’s off his peak, and you’re on yours. Having discussions during his off-peak periods will give you an added advantage because he won’t be as alert.

 

  1. Opponent’s Variables – Consider:
  • How much leeway does he have without having to consult someone else?
  • To whom must he prove himself that may not be at the negotiation table?
  • What horrors must he avoid, at all costs in the talks, to make the outcome a win for him?

The insights gained from the answers to those questions will illuminate the degree of self-power he has in the negotiation, and how you might control him as the result of knowing his limitations.

 

  1. Style of Negotiators

Negotiators use different approaches in a negotiation. And their attitude determines if they’ll play the part of someone tough or easy. With those less knowledgeable about negotiations, they may haphazardly enter a talk unaware of the persona they’re about to engage. And that puts them at a disadvantage.

 

Always attempt to understand the mindset of the person with whom you’re negotiating. By recognizing his mental makeup, you’ll have more insights into how he thinks. That’ll allow you to predict somewhat how he might act to offers you make, based on how you present them.

 

  1. Style of Negotiation

Every negotiation has a particular flow and style to it. You can attribute that to the characteristics of those involved in the talks. Accordingly, you should note the ebb and flow of all of your negotiations. For one, it affects how you’ll engage in future discussions. And it’ll give you feedback about how to make a session easier to participate in, in the future.

 

  1. Timing of Choices/Offers/Counteroffers

Be mindful of your choices, along with the offers and counteroffers you extend. The value and perception of your offerings are explicitly tied to when you make them. Therefore, always consider the impact that an offer will have on the ones that will follow.

 

  1. Order of Offers

To give the appearance of an offer being more valuable, first, position it. You’d do that by making your introductory offer less appealing than the present one. Be mindful when adopting this approach. If the other negotiator senses you’re making better offers as the result of him rejecting them, he may hold off on committing until he believes he’s heard your best offer.

You can also increase the perception of an offer by taking it off the table. The ‘takeaway’ is a powerful motivator. Because once someone embraces a proposition, that person doesn’t want to lose it.

 

Body Language

There’s an abundance of information conveyed through someone’s body language. That information entails what a person says and what they do. Thus, it would help if you always were observant about why a person uses their body in the manner you witness. What you observe are signals indicating what’s going on inside their mind. The following are a few signals to note.

  1. Mood – When someone’s mood shifts, it’s caused by a sensation they experience. That may be due to them reflecting on your offer, wondering if they should have made a different offer or a feeling that they’re not where they want to be in the negotiation. When you see someone’s mood shift, if it’s not to your liking, question them about what has happened. Better to address it then than allow it to be the cause that disrupts the negotiation later.
  2. Hand movement – What someone does with their hands can be one of the most revealing aspects of their inner thoughts. If they cover an eye, rub an ear, put their hands in their pockets, those could be signals that they’re less committed to what you’re discussing, versus what they may say verbally. As is true when reading body language signals, you must first observe how someone uses gestures before you can accurately identify why they displayed them at a particular time. And it would be best if you watched the cluster of their actions. One action alone is not definitive to what they’re thinking.

 

Reflection

Negotiations can be as easy or difficult as the parties involved chose to make them. By arming yourself with the information mentioned, you’ll become positioned better to engage in your negotiations from a position of strength and control. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Overcome Hidden Secrets Of The Leader’s Body Language” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Secrets reveal themselves, but not until you uncover them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

“How To Overcome Hidden Secrets Of The Leader’s Body Language”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

All leaders have secrets. And all leaders reveal their secrets through their body language. But when it comes to leaders, it may be more challenging to understand the signals they emit. That’s because some leaders are more comfortable displaying certain body language gestures. And even when they’re not as forthright as their words proclaim, they may appear so at ease that their gestures emit little insight about their secret thoughts. It’s the lack of inner emotions that can prevent their real feelings from being displayed.

Nevertheless, there are ways to discern what’s occurring in the mind of a leader. It may be a little more challenging, but you can uncover a leader’s thoughts through his body language. The following information is a road map to overcome the hidden secrets that some leaders would rather you not know.

 

Leader Types

Before assessing how to overcome a leader’s hidden secrets, you must understand the type of leader you’re evaluating. In some cases, depending on his leadership abilities, he’ll display his confidence through different body language gestures. Note the following three categories as examples.

 

  • Unsure Leader

A leader that’s unsure of himself, or the position he wishes others to adopt, may tend to make smaller body language gestures when he’s communicating. Thus, when you see such signs, consider whether the individual lacks self-confidence per what he’s saying, or if he’s attempting to conceal points that he doesn’t wish to have revealed. In either case, the reason he displays close body language gestures is due to him not feeling overly comfortable.

 

  • Leader Exploring His Power

The leader exploring his power can be one that’s acquired a new position, or someone attempting to fill the void of authority. In either case, this individual type might show broad and sweeping gestures as he initially begins to communicate. You’ll note the degree of comfortability he has with his power when someone seriously challenges him. At that point, take note as to whether his gestures become smaller and more tightly controlled. That’ll be an indication he’s attempting to protect himself – from what is the question that should come to your mind.

 

  • Confident Leader

A confident leader displays open gestures (i.e., hands apart, palms up, smiling, etc.) when delivering news he believes is right for his followers. He may even have his jacket off, or sleeves rolled up to enhance his persona. And even when he has to deliver bad news, he won’t cloak it in tightly controlled actions that make him appear different than his typical displays. His movements may become minimized to align with the circumstances at hand, but they won’t alter to the degree that you sense he’s adopted a completely different personality type. Thus, when you sense a drastic departure from his typical body language displays, that’s when you should become concerned that he might be concealing secrets.

 

Disassociated Rhythm

When people speak earnestly, they do so with their hand movements to the rhythm of their words. And since by nature, leaders are in the eyes of those they lead, they’re adept at having their words and body language gestures synchronized. Thus, when they want to make a strong point, it’ll usually be noted through the gesture of a fist pounding downward, or a pointing finger that denotes direction.

Therefore, when such signs are missing, note it. And, when a leader speaks, observe the tonality he uses when delivering his message. Words convey conviction, but it’s the emotions layered over those words that allow his commitment to be felt by those consuming his message.

 

Signs of Stress

You may recall a member of the opposing party offering a rebuttal to the State of the Union message delivered by the U.S. President. As that member was speaking, he reached for a bottle of water several times to quench and soothe his throat. Even when the water was slightly out of reach, he awkwardly extended his hand far enough to grasp the bottle. At a minimum, it appeared abnormal. And that awkward body language reaching gesture, along with others, even though this was a seasoned political professional, revealed his nervousness (e.g., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWkjVvoXIS0 ). Two giveaways made that announcement.

The first giveaway was him realizing that he should not step away as he did. The member’s attempt to maintain eye contact with the camera noted that. Thus, he attempted to retain his position while awkwardly reaching for the bottle and trying to maintain camera eye contact. He didn’t accomplish that goal, so he stepped away momentarily. That only served to enhance his anxiety.

His second giveaway was the amount of water he drank. He reached for water several times throughout his rebuttal, with each occurrence being the announcer of his discomfort.

When one’s throat becomes constricted, it’s a sign of stress – you saw that in the politician’s body language. And in that case, the water served as a soother for his throat and to ease his nervousness. Thus, observing when a leader’s throat becomes constricted is one way he discloses his nervousness. And that’s a sign worth noting to uncover the secrets that he may wish to conceal.

 

Reflection

Depending on the circumstances, all leaders conceal secrets from their followers. In some situations, concealment may be due to the time the leader needs to formulate a plan. At other times, the leader may require time to implement nefarious acts to enact against his followers. Therefore, the better you are at discerning the body language gestures a leader exhibits in different situations, the more insight you’ll have as to when he’s hiding secrets versus when he’s secretive for secret sake. In either case, you’ll have a secret gateway that reveals what’s really behind his words. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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