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Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

5 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Your Kids Growing Up

Is this the little girl I carried?

Is this the little boy at play?

I don’t remember growing older,

When did they?

Girl on Swing

Have you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof?

It’s the tale of a Jewish milkman named Tevye who has five daughters. Those lyrics are from the lullaby he and his wife sing just before their eldest daughter gets married.

When did she grow to be a beauty?

When did he grow to be so tall?

Wasn’t it yesterday when they were small?

When you think about your children growing up, what emotions do you experience?

Do you feel hope and elation—or fear and anxiety?

Are You Scared to Let Your Kids Grow Up?

Research from the American Family Survey reveals that modern parents set arbitrary milestones to cope with discomfort about their adolescents growing up, which ultimately results in postponing their independence.

When asked what age kids should be “allowed to play at a park or walk home without adult supervision,” the answer was 13. But those same parents said they would let their kid get a job or go on a date less than two years later.

Pexels Mary Taylor 5896916

What these numbers really show is that behind the confusion is an underlying fear. But what are parents and caregivers so afraid of?

  • Fear of danger. The most prevalent of all parental anxieties is the worry that our children will be harmed. This fear is perfectly normal and understandable, but the answer can’t be keeping our kids locked up like modern-day Rapunzels!
  • Fear of the future or the unknown. If the COVID-19 pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that the world as we know it can change in the blink of an eye. Although we want to keep our children safe and happy 100% of the time, the reality is that so much is beyond our control. The unknown can be a scary thing—but only if you let it be.
  • Fear of separation or letting go. Next time you go to a wedding, look around to see who’s bawling their eyes out. (Hint: it’s probably the parents!) Watching our kids transition to adulthood can make us feel lonely and insignificant, but part of our duty as caregivers is to set them up for independence.

5 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Your Kids Growing Up

Although it’s normal to have parental anxiety, being able to address and ultimately overcome your fears is important—for you and your kids. It’s not easy, but the results are so rewarding.

Here are five strategies that may work for you:

  1. Be a positive mirror. Keep in mind that if you’re acting afraid, your child may pick up on your emotions and start feeling the same way. As caregivers, it’s our duty to make our kids feel secure, and in many ways that begins with our own behavior. Show them how to navigate the world and its uncertainties smartly, safely, and confidently.
  1. Be encouraging. If you can’t handle the thought of your teen going on a date, imagine how they’re feeling right now! Remember how painfully insecure you felt when you were their age? Your teen needs encouragement more than anything. Reassure them that, as Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, “no feeling is final.” Whatever they’re feeling and experiencing will eventually sort itself out.
  1. Be honest. Encouragement is only valuable when it’s genuine and grounded in reality. If you sugarcoat life, you’re not doing your kid any favors. Take the pandemic, for example: telling your child COVID-19 will magically go away is dishonest and insincere. You may feel like you’re protecting them, but at what cost? A better approach is to explain the effects of the virus and educate them on how to stay safe.
  1. Be communicative. When my daughter Pia was a teenager, we would have disagreements about her going out with her friends and me not knowing where she was. Finally, she came to me one day and asked, “Mom, what can I do to reassure you that I’m safe?” We agreed that a simple text message informing me where she was and who she was with would ease my worry. Problem solved!

5. Be there. I cannot stress the importance of this last tip: let your child know that they can come to you anytime, anywhere, whatever they need. Listen to them. Empathize with how they feel. Just be there.


Don’t let fear cripple you from being the best parent you can be. Face your anxieties head-on and take concrete steps to overcome them so that you can be at peace with your child getting older.

And if you feel like you can’t cope on your own, by all means ask for help! It takes a village to raise a child and the Conscious Parenting Revolution is happy to be your support network.

Join our Facebook group to catch our coaches live streaming Tuesday Tips for Parents, every Tuesday at 6:10 pm PST. We’d love to see you there.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness Leadership

Being Creatively Grateful

If I do a “Self-Inventory,” the First Step of the Faremouth Method, and think of a year when I really could enjoy the comfort of a big holiday dinner with my family in a different state, this is it.  However, in 2020, getting on an airplane to go home to visit family or having a big feast with many folks around the dining room table isn’t advisable. It’s potentially even a high-risk activity. There will be other years coming to get together with family the way we used to. This year it’s more important to stay home in small gatherings with only those we live with, as the medical experts have advised. This is a perfect year to remember those special occasions of a time gone by with our loved ones who may not be with us any longer.

 

Holidays, for me, always bring back fond memories of my loving family and some of the interesting traditions and experiences that we shared.  I remember traveling to Florida, my parents’ retirement home, one Thanksgiving to visit my Mom and Dad with my husband, and two small sons.  We got there a few days early to shop for all the fixings for the big meal, and my then six-year-old son was always anxious to fish in the small pond near the condominium with Grandpa.

 

My Mother would start preparing all her special Italian dishes days before the actual holiday; her delicious lasagna, special veggie dip, amazing meatballs and sauce, pies, cannoli, etc.,  and we also would get caught up on so many things we all had been doing.  My mother seemed to always like to cook for a small army, and it was great to have the leftovers for a few days afterward.  Her cooking was always amazing, and to this day, I’ve still never mastered many of her special dishes that I watched her make so many times.

 

This one Thanksgiving I will never, ever, forget.  I remember hearing my mother get up extra early on Thanksgiving Day to get the turkey ready to put into the oven.  My kids, husband, and I got in the car with my Dad and drove to the ocean so the kids could pick up shells and get into the water.  It was a beautiful day, and it was great to walk along the beach and get away from the hustle-bustle of our lives to just relax.

 

After a few hours, we decided to head back to the condo to enjoy the big Thanksgiving meal my Mom had worked so hard to prepare.  My husband walked up the steps to the fourth floor of their condo and told me he was anxious to smell the fragrant turkey that he knew would be so delicious.  As we walked into the house, he looked at me with a funny smirk on his face because neither one of us smelled anything.  He walked into the kitchen and looked at the oven and came over to me and said, “Mary Ann, your Mom forgot to turn the oven on!”

 

I recall my Dad saying something like, “Oh, that’s ok.  We have so much food here.  We can extend the Thanksgiving celebration and have the turkey tomorrow.” That reminds me of a famous quote by Ernest Hemingway from his book, “The Old Man & the Sea,” that says:

 

“Now is not the time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.”

 

That quote really does remind me of the essence of Thanksgiving 2020.  We might not have the same opportunities to enjoy the normal traditions of the holiday, etc., but I think we can

be grateful for what we do have and make new traditions to enjoy what there is.

 

With so many people out of work, furloughed, or experiencing pay cuts, let’s take a look at some ways we can all be more creatively grateful this holiday season, and begin some new traditions we might consider putting into place that might allow us all to experience more joy during this beautiful time of the year.

 

Catherine Sanderson, professor of psychology at Amherst College, makes a good point when she says, “The key this year may be accepting that things need to evolve and avoid comparisons with celebrations from years past. If you try to replicate past holidays exactly, it’s like this year will feel inferior.”

 

  1.  Start New Traditions – Traditions can be great but new ones can offer creative experiences and bring people even more together. History offers plenty of examples of this. Jodi Eichler-Levine says, “During the era of mass migration from Europe to the United States, people who’d immigrated suddenly had no way to celebrate major holidays with those they’d left behind.” One particular cultural group began creating elaborate postcards to celebrate the holiday.  “They were this gorgeous new art form,” she says.  “People could share their sentiments even though they could not physically be there with their loved ones.”  How neat to let your creative artistic juices run wild this holiday!  Maybe those art supplies you have tucked away in that bottom drawer of your chest need to come out and create something to give to those special people you care about. It’s a win-win for all; you can create something and feel good about giving someone a gift they might really like!
  2. Embrace Change – It’s been said “Rituals make the ordinary extraordinary.” A pumpkin pie on a random day in November is just a pumpkin pie, but a pumpkin pie on the fourth Thursday of November is not just pumpkin pie.  It’s a part of Thanksgiving tradition.  Our intentions, coupled with the season, elevate it.  With the digital world and Zoom so upon us, why not get with family in different states and all share dessert together online?  It might not be quite the same as being with them for the entire dinner, but it lets family be together and might allow people who would not be able to make an in-person visit, even without the pandemic, feel a part of the holiday and have the ability to visit and enjoy the warmth of family and good friends.
  3.  Donate to Those in Need – This Thanksgiving might be especially poignant due to the pandemic as many people have lost loved ones or are experiencing a pinch in their pocketbook.  Consider volunteering your time or donating some of those clothes stuck back in the closet, or what you can afford dollar wise that you would have spent on all the food, etc., for the holiday to an organization or charity that’s meaningful to you in lieu of having a big feast.

 

I do believe traditions and holidays are something that we should hold dear and close to our heart.  Mixing it up a bit this year and maybe in years to come, might be a nice new experience for many to enjoy.  Covid-19 doesn’t have to cast a negative light on this time of the year.  Why not decide to get creative and focus on what we can do with what there is.  Doing our own self-inventory of how we can be creatively grateful this year is also a good mindfulness practice that has only a focus on the heart of the why we get together for holidays.

 

The turkey that never got cooked that Thanksgiving Day in Florida with my parents really was not even missed.  It became a standing joke for years to come that to this day we laugh about and brings smiles to our faces!  While we enjoy the food at the holidays, it is really the connection of our hearts that creates the lasting impact and memories.  I know my sweet Mother is happy she was able to give me good content for this article during this time of the year!

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Leadership

Resiliency is Tremendous

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. Living in the northeast part of the United States, autumn is a spectacular event that spans several months. Fall is also the time of harvest where we reap what we have sown. This year presented an interesting couple of seasons. In mid-March, I, like the rest of the world, had to pivot with purpose, not with pain, as our world took a very different turn.

My father, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, wrote a bestselling book in 1965 that has never gone out of print. The title of this motivational classic is Life is Tremendous, and in it, he extols the virtues and transformative power of enthusiasm. After dealing with the events of 2020, I think it’s safe to say that even when life is not tremendous, we can make it so by our inherent resiliency. There’s a term in leadership literature called adaptive capacity. A person can make lemonade when life gives them lemons.

I can remember growing up hearing that we were nothing more than evolved animals subject to fight or flight instincts when faced with a challenge or crisis. But we are so much more than that. True greatness lies not in the ability to go on the attack or run away, but in humankind’s ability to adapt. Our adaptive capacity enables us to turn a mess into a blessing, a test into a testimony. But this transformation doesn’t happen automatically. The very same thing that kills some makes others stronger.

The reason for a victorious emergence from any degree of hardship occurs when you awaken the Imago Dei, the God seed, within. When we unleash our innate great, amazing things begin to happen from the inside out. Have you acknowledged and owned your regenerative nature?

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Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

DO IT NOW – Making Our Dreams A Reality

 

Have you ever had times in your life that forced you to ask yourself some deep questions?  Those moments appear out of our control and are the catalyst for decision and change when we have to make choices.  The Second Step of the Faremouth Method is “Ask Better Questions,” and I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.  This week, a song came on the radio that seemed to really speak to me and catapult me into deep thought about my own life and dreams.  It is the song by Garth Brooks called “The River.”  This is a song about chasing your dreams and never giving up on what you believe in.  The lyrics remind us that life is shorter than we think. If we just stand on the sidelines of the shore, watching the river go by, then life will be gone before we have a chance to live it.  We can’t be a bystander in our life.

 

Garth Brooks uses the metaphor of a person’s life, being a vessel moving along a river.  We are like a ship that moves through life upstream in search of our dreams.  It is a constant battle to keep the vessel in the water because the shoreline is constantly changing.  We should not put off until tomorrow what we should do today.  We have to take advantage of the opportunities that come along, which support our dreams as they may not always be there.

 

Garth says, “a dream is like a river.”  Our dreams change like water moving along its path, switching streams, depending upon what life throws at you.  As life changes, the river can be calm, then fierce, and then calm again. As the course of the river changes, so does the route we choose to take.  Each person has a dream. When the river gets rough, and life is difficult, maybe like we are now experiencing with Covid, a lot of people push their dreams aside and forget about them. Their attention gets diverted by survival instincts while they ignore the passion within.

 

Brooks says, in his song, that he will sail his vessel until the river runs dry. This might mean that he will always chase his dreams until his life is over.  If you don’t follow your heart’s desire, you will never have a chance to experience the life you really want to live.  It’s been said you should be at one with your dreams like a bird in nature, flying above the water. “Ropin’ the Wind. Liberty, 1991.”

 

The song has a great meaning and a lovely melody to it.  It’s not always easy to pursue your dreams because much can stand in the way. The only thing you can do is just push forward until the river runs dry.

 

Let’s take a look at how we can apply the beautiful lyrics of this song, “The River,” to the New Work World.

 

1. “You know a dream is like a river, Ever changin’ as it flows”

 

We’ve all had many changes this year with Covid-19.  Reflect on some of the changes in your work world and how you have had to adjust and flow with them.  The only constant in life is change.  What have those changes made you realize about your job, your work habits, and your future goals?  Sometimes big changes force us to re-evaluate important aspects of ourselves that might inevitably force us to make changes and allow us to have a more fulfilling life.  What are your dreams going forward?  How can you try to make them happen?  Have you had to adjust or modify how you’re going to manifest your dreams?

 

2. “Trying to learn from what’s behind you, and never knowing what’s in store, makes each  day a constant battle just to stay between the shores….”

 

What have you learned from your previous work/education/life experiences that might have helped you cope with the big changes we have all undergone in 2020?  What have you done to keep yourself stable during these uncertain times? Have you tried more mindfulness practices? Have you spent more time outdoors in nature?  Have you investigated some classes, watched more movies?  What have been your coping mechanisms and what new or different ones might you try to stay between your personal shores?

 

3. “I’ll never reach my destination if I never try, so I will sail my vessel ‘til the river runs dry”

 

What can you do now to reach your destination?  What can you try today that might bring you a better tomorrow? Can you expand your current job function in the current company you are with to have higher management recognize and consider you for a promotion track?  Can you investigate other product lines your current company might get into that might make them more in line with technology changes?  Is there a product that could be sourced from current or new suppliers that you could investigate to give your company a more up-to-date brand and purpose to allow them to become more profitable in the future? Are there other industries that may utilize your skill set that would have more interesting experiences and opportunities going forward?

 

4. “So don’t you sit upon the shoreline and say you’re satisfied, choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tide…..”

 

Even if you are one of the lucky ones who have stayed employed, what can you do now to get ready for more opportunities in the future?  If you have gotten cut or are on furlough, what can you do in your employment world to dance the tide of the future? Do you need to update your resume, talk to a career consultant, or become more active on LinkedIn?  The future work world will be a “new dance” of sorts.  It’s always prudent to become proactive and get ready for the future before you really have to.  Talking to professionals in the field always helps.  Learning new information about your industry or ones that interest you by doing your own research is always a smart idea to consider.

 

The last verse of the song is “And I know I’ll take some falls…..but I can make it through them all …..Yes, I will sail my vessel ‘Til the river runs dry, ‘Til the river runs dry.”

 

We’ve all taken our own personal and professional falls in 2020.  I think if we all adopt the mindset in the song, “The River,” where Garth says that he will always chase his dreams until his life is over, we will discover a life that is fuller, more meaningful with expansive growth and rewarding experiences!  Dreams remain dreams unless we do something about them. We have to search for ways where we can create and actualize them in our lives rather than just ponder about them in the future.  If we don’t act, they will remain dormant. By action, we can create anything we want and magnetize it into our reach. We need to start the process NOW!!

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

SelfCare for HealthCare®; The Best Way to Improve the Quality of HealthCare and Reduce Costs

In these challenging times, healthcare leaders struggle with work compression, doing the same amount of work in fewer hours. Nurses and healthcare leaders are experiencing stress, burnout, and health issues at ever-increasing rates. The Covid-19 pandemic has increased the physical and fiscal strain on hospitals and healthcare organizations and companies. They expect their staff to deliver comprehensive, compassionate patient care to improve outcomes, satisfaction and engagement scores, and reimbursements. Yet, wise leaders know that caregivers cannot meet those expectations if they are physically, mentally, or spiritually exhausted.

With increasing demands on time, energy, and resources, health care professionals are experiencing burnout at increasingly higher rates, and staff turnover continues to rise. Burnout leads to lower levels of staff engagement, patient experience, and productivity, and an increased risk of workplace accidents. Lower levels of staff engagement are linked with lower-quality patient care, including safety. Burnout also limits a providers’ empathy, a crucial component of effective person-centered care. (1) Yet barely one-third (35%) of U.S. hospital workers said that current wellness programs encourage a healthier lifestyle. (2)

As leaders work long hours, tirelessly meeting the needs of their staff, they frequently neglect their own. To be fortified to manage effectively, we must nurture our own bodies, minds, and spirits every day.

The need for these practices is evidenced in the following table, identifying symptoms of stress and compassion fatigue:

Symptoms of Stress and Compassion Fatigue
PHYSICAL

Appetite changes

Headaches

Fatigue

Poor sleeping

Frequent illnesses

Digestive problems

Pounding heart

Teeth grinding

Rash

Restlessness

Foot-tapping

Finger drumming

Nail biting

Smoking

Increased alcohol intake

 

 

MENTAL

Forgetfulness

Poor concentration

Dull senses

Lethargy

Boredom

Low productivity

Negative attitude

Anxiety

The “blues”

Mood swings

Anger

Bad dreams

Irritability

Crying spells

Nervous laughter

Loss of loving feeling

 

SPIRITUAL

Emptiness

Loss of meaning

Doubt

Martyrdom

Loss of direction

Cynicism

Apathy

Abandonment

Worry

Isolation

Distrust

“No one cares”

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright LeAnn Thieman, SelfCare for HealthCare ® 2012 Permission granted

Numerous studies suggest that work-related stress fuels burnout and job dissatisfaction among healthcare professionals. (3)

Drawing from my decades of work with healthcare leaders, I offer easily implemented tools for restorative self-care. This article will share strategies for balance of body, mind, and spirit, offering self-care for healthcare.

Physical Balance (Body)

Diet

We would never deprive nutrition or fluids to someone we care for, yet we often unconsciously rob ourselves. Keeping a dietary log for a week alerts us to our current eating patterns and allows us to change our diets accordingly.

Although evidence proves the importance of drinking 5-6 glasses of water a day, we too rarely consume that quantity. Seventy-five percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated, causing daytime fatigue, memory impairment, difficulty focusing, headaches, nausea, and poor metabolism. (4)

To get the recommended amount of water daily, fill a water container to consume throughout the day. Think about fluid balance, just as we do for patients. Applying what we know about fluid input and output for patients to our own bodies seems simple, but it is often ignored or under prioritized by us due to workload, inattentiveness, and even our own beliefs about self-sacrifice.

Sleep

Healthcare givers and leaders are becoming more and more sleep-deprived, yet studies prove the human body requires 7-9 hours of sleep in a twenty-four-hour period. (5)

Adequate sleep is important for mental focus, reaction time, attitude, learning, memory, decision-making, prioritizing, accuracy, conflict resolution, and communication, all key qualities healthcare givers need to deliver safe, compassionate patient care. Geiger-Brown & Trinkoff, who studied the impact of 12-hour shifts, reported that nurses sleep only 5.5 hours on average between 12-hour tours, even though a minimum of 7 hours is recommended for full engagement. (6)

Insufficient sleep has been associated with cognitive problems, reduced job performance, decreased motivation, and increased safety risks. Several studies have shown that failure to get adequate sleep contributes to medical errors. (7)

When sleep is inadequate, health deteriorates, resulting in lowered glucose tolerance, impaired thyroid function, fatigue, increased heart rate, decreased strength, increased blood pressure, stomach and bowel problems, pain, depleted immune systems, and increased fatty deposits. Sleep problems contribute to obesity, and obesity contributes to sleep problems. (8)

In today’s world of 24/7 connectedness, new issues have emerged that lure people away from sleep. Television, computers, and electronic devices have shifted from the family room and office into the bedroom, encouraging people to watch one more late-night show, or respond to another text or two. In my experience, many healthcare leaders report checking email after midnight in fear of missing something and feeling compelled to respond immediately.

Adequate sleep is an investment in our wellbeing. It’s a choice. Turn off technology, turn off the electricity, and get the recommended 7-9 hours of slumber.

Exercise

In our over-scheduled lives, it’s often challenging to set aside time for exercise. Yet research is showing that we don’t necessarily need a personal trainer or gym membership. A study of 334,161 European men and women showed that as little as 20 minutes of brisk walking a day could prevent us from dying prematurely. (9)

Exercise not only lowers the risk of heart attacks, diabetes, bone cancer, osteoporosis, arthritis, backaches, high blood pressure, depression, and stress, (10) but it releases endorphins in our brains and increases happiness too.

Be creative in finding ways to incorporate exercise into your daily activities. Park in the farthest corner of the parking lot. Make time to take the stairs. Have walking meetings. Take advantage of the exercise opportunities your employer provides.

Mental Balance (Mind)

Most self-care programs focus on nurturing our bodies with less attention to our minds and spirits, yet our physical wellbeing is dependent on our mental wellbeing.

Eighteen percent of nurses, twice the rate of the general adult U.S. population, have elevated depression symptoms. (11)  Suicide rates of physicians exceeds the national average. To care for our minds, it’s crucial to take time throughout the day for mental rest.  One of the best and easiest tools is simply breathing.

Breathing and Relaxation

Deep relaxation breathing is one of the most effective mental balance tools. This breathing technique relieves stress and tension and releases endorphins.

As a childbirth educator for thirteen years, I taught moms to breathe slowly, deeply, and easily to reduce stress and pain in labor. The same principles apply as we “labor” through life.

When laboring women get too stressed, they experience increased adrenaline, which shuts down the release of oxytocin and delays the delivery. Too much adrenaline results in longer harder labors for moms…and for us. Breathing and relaxing decreases adrenaline output and allows all our organs and body parts to work at their best.

For three minutes, several times a day, during stressful times or otherwise, breathe slowly in through your nose 1-2-3-4, then out through your mouth 1-2-3-4, repeatedly.

We schedule so many activities into our days, we must also schedule relaxation. Close your door. Take a break. Breathe deeply, and relax.

Laughter

A proverb that says, “Laughter is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”  Sometimes the demands of working in healthcare can nearly dry our bones.

I’ve been privileged to read thousands of true stories from healthcare givers when I authored three editions of the Chicken Soup for the Soul for Nurses series. Time and time again they shared how laughter helped them through their toughest times.

Humor is one of the most effective selfcare strategies. Laughter lowers blood pressure and heart rate, improves lung capacity, massages internal organs, increases memory and alertness, reduces pain, improves digestion, and lowers the stress hormones. (12)

Loma Linda University proved that laughter decreases the stress hormones, epinephrine, norepinephrine, and cortisol and improves immune function (13) Laughter has also been proven to reduce pain. (14) It offers psychological benefits, brings us into the moment, helps us transcend our problems, connects us closer to people, and helps us think more clearly.

Even smiling releases endorphins and serotonin, which boosts our immune systems and lowers blood pressure. (15)

Add humor to every agenda. Create laughter bulletin boards at work. Bring joy to your workplace.

Positive Thinking

There is tremendous power in positive thinking. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book by that title (16) proving that we get what we expect in life. We bring to fruition our thoughts and visualization. We see this in our workplaces every day. Negative thinkers have negative contagious behaviors, resulting in negative outcomes.

It’s said that the average person has forty-thousand thoughts per day, of which 80% are negative. Every time we have a negative thought, our brains releases negative chemicals that make our bodies feel bad. When we combine positive thinking with positive visualization, remarkable changes occur.

Our bodies and minds don’t distinguish the difference between visualization and experience; they react as if both are real. Most of us have awoken from nightmares, sweating, our hearts racing. Although the scary event didn’t happen physically, our bodies responded as though it had. This phenomenon can work to our benefit, too. Recall your most successful moment and live it out again, visualizing it with all five senses. You can reclaim the same feelings again as your body releases the same chemicals as when you experienced it.

The growing field of psychoneuroimmunology proves that our brains can literally be “rewired” with positive thinking. Some neurological connections are strengthened while others are replaced. New thoughts and images stimulate new pathways and, when constantly repeated, have a great impact on behavior.

Our minds are like computers; we have sovereign control over the input.

Write a list of your personal positive affirmations. Create a vision board with words and pictures of things you want to achieve… personal goals, career plans, family desires, things to nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Post these where you can see them… and achieve them, improving your health, happiness, and workplace.

Forgiveness

After my presentations, audience members whisper two things to me consistently. “Thank you for talking about faith,” and, “Thank you for teaching the power of forgiveness.”

Forgiveness seems to be a universal chord in the hearts of people. There is an innate hunger to let go of the suffering and to learn how to release it.

We waste a lot of our energy, our health, and even our lives when we fail to forgive. People who won’t forgive have more illnesses, lower immune system function, and increased heart disease. (17) Those suffering from chronic low back pain found that anger, affective pain, and sensory pain were all lower after forgiving. (18)

A widely accepted definition of forgiveness is to pardon, to release from further punishment. Ourselves included.

The first step in healing is to forgive ourselves, for any past mistakes, indiscretions, or regretted decisions. What we did then was based on who we were and what we knew then. It’s not who we are today.

Next, we must forgive somebody else, no matter how horrific the offense. Refusing to forgive doesn’t hurt the offender, it only hurts us. Why would we give someone who wounded us so deeply the power to continue to harm us with sleepless nights, upset stomachs, high blood pressure, and headaches? We must forgive them, whether we think they deserve it or not, we do.

Forgiveness is an empowering choice. So, starting today, besides yourself, who are you going to forgive?

Spiritual Balance (Spirit)

Creating a spiritual balance is as crucial as mental and physical. Most medical schools today are tapping into ancient theories of holistic medicine, a healing of mind, body, and spirit. The American Medical Association requires medical schools to teach students to inquire about a patient’s religion. Ninety-percent have courses on spirituality and health. No wonder; 92% of patients say that spirituality is important in their coping and healing. (19)

Studies describing the association between prayer, faith, spirituality, and medicine are increasing. (20) Yet a study examining healthcare leaders’ perception of competence in providing spiritual care showed that while communication had the most favorable perception, improving the quality of spiritual care had the least favorable. (21)

In delivering care, healthcare leaders must recognize the importance of spirituality in the lives of patients, families, and loved ones, as well as in their own lives. All undergo tremendous stress and suffering. Spirituality offers a way to understand suffering and to cope with illness. By addressing spiritual issues of patients, loved ones, and ourselves, we can create more holistic and compassionate systems of care.

To nurture our patients’ spiritual health, we must first nurture our own. Polls estimate that over 92% of Americans believe in God. (22) If you are among that majority, I encourage you to be in touch with the Higher Power you believe in every day. Even if it is just for 15 minutes, take time for prayer, meditation, or reflection. So often we choose a way of life that best suits our bodies; let’s create one that also nurtures our spirits.

Summary

Selfcare is no longer a “soft” skill, but a culture shift, critical for transforming patient care and outcomes today. Hospitals that have implemented the year-long Selfcare for HealthCare® program have noted not only a 13% increase in retention, but 16% decrease in sick days, a 20% increase in engagement, 39% decrease in those considering leaving their positions, and 42% increase in agreeing their leadership cares about them.

A recent scientific research study with the Social Science Department at the University of Northern Colorado provides the evidence-based impact of Self-care for Healthcare. A partial list of those findings include: (the complete report available on request)

  • A main finding that emerged from the pre- and post-test evaluation was a positive shift in workplace engagement
  • A higher growth in resiliency and positivity.
  • A positive impact on participants, specifically with identifying stress, building healthy habits, creating resiliency and positivity
  • Identifying stress and creating healthy habits had the highest amount of positive growth.
  • Participants agreed 13% more that they would recommend this organization as a good place to work, post-test.
  • Participants agreed 14% more that their organization has a healthy workplace culture, post-test.
  • Participants agreed 14% more that their organization has a healthy workplace culture, post-test.
  • Participants were 11% more satisfied with the balance between my work and home life.

Evidence of the importance of caring for mind, body, and spirit was proven in a descriptive study exploring the self-care practices of healthcare leaders in a rural hospital setting. In the findings, the most prevalent self-care practices were humor, laughter, music, spirituality, prayer, healthy nutrition, walking, and healthy sleep habits. (23)

The duty of healthcare leaders is to be proactive, rather than reactive, to the stress they are facing. There are clear links between staff wellbeing and the three dimensions of service quality: patient safety, patient experience, and the effectiveness of patient care. When staff support services were proactive and prioritized, staff health, wellbeing, and performance were enhanced, patient care improved, staff retention was higher, and sickness absence was lower. Leaders are fundamental to creating a workplace climate that enhances staff wellbeing and delivers quality patient care. (24)

When staff participate together in wellness programs, engagement increases. Employees who feel they are personally cared for by their organization and that managers have higher levels of commitment, are more conscious about responsibilities, have greater involvement in the organization, and are more innovative. (25)

Every 1 percent increase in hospital employee engagement correlates with a 0.33-point increase in the facility’s Hospital Consumer Assessment of Healthcare Providers and Systems (HCAHPS) overall hospital rating. HCAHPS scores lead to a boost or reduction in a hospital’s Medicare reimbursement and can sway patients’ decisions in selecting a provider.

Also, a 1 percent increase in hospital employee engagement is tied to a 0.41-point increase in inpatient safety grades. Engaged employees are three times as likely as disengaged employees to earn top performance marks. Disengaged staff are twice as likely to leave their organization within 12 months of an engagement survey. (26)

Clearly, self-care is the best way to improve the quality of healthcare and reduce costs, by caring for healthcare workers, their patients…and ourselves.

As leaders, we are always role modeling. By nurturing our own bodies, minds, and spirits we will create cultures of caring for ourselves and those we lead and serve.

                                                                                                                     # # #

LeAnn Thieman, LPN, CSP, CPAE is author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul for Nurses series and President and Founder of SelfCare for HealthCare, Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at LeAnn@LeAnnThieman.com.

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

You Had The Power All Along

 

By Mary Ann Faremouth,

 

This year, in the midst of the challenging times of COVID-19, we would all like to imagine a job market where there is hope and rebirth for the many people who find themselves unemployed or furloughed at this time.  As the festive time of Halloween is approaching, I am reminded of the Good Witch of the North in “The Wizard of Oz” who told Dorothy that she had the power all along.  If we take strategically designed steps to do it right, we, too, have the power to change our own personal world as we search for employment, transformation, and rebirth.  We can create our own magical approach by recognizing our own power within to get where we want to go with the right mindset and plan.

 

The Second Step of the Faremouth Method, Ask Better Questions, inspires me to wonder what might be learned from the pretend world of costumes and trick-or-treating.  As a Career Consultant, I imagine what wisdom or lessons I can impart to job seekers that might establish some valuable analogies to help us all become more successful in our employment seeking efforts. This is a time where we need to be more imaginative and creative in how we assess our skillset to match the ever-changing job market and not limit ourselves to what we have known in the past. We have to change with the times now being presented to us.

 

Halloween, as we know it today in the United States, began after World War II and became widespread to dress up as superheroes, princesses, or whatever character was popularized that year.  We were given permission for that one day to pretend we had the power to be something else.  While kids go to neighborhoods to “Trick-or-Treat,” many offices allow employees to come to work that one day a year in costume.

 

Let’s look at some of the analogies we can glean from the “Trick or Treaters” that might also be applied to finding a job in these unusual and challenging times.  I do believe, sitting on my side of the desk and hearing employers telling me what works and what doesn’t, there might be some “tricks” to consider to get the “treats” of finding a job in our current market situation.

 

1. Stand out among the Competition – In many costume contests, it’s the best costume that will get the prize or be noticed.  Our attire, even on a Zoom interview, can make us stand out among the competition.  Wear professional clothing that demonstrates your seriousness in finding employment.  Being too casual in the online interviewing process has ruled many of my “best on paper” candidates out.

 

2. Be engaging and deliberate in the interview to express how your skillset applies to the job. I have heard from my clients that focused dialogue with good eye contact makes the candidate more impressive to them.  Think about how, at Halloween, when the child at your door engages you in conversation, you gain a more favorable feeling about them than when they just grab the candies and take off.  Just the other day I had a client reject a candidate with the exact background because they did not try to bond with the interviewer to start, and right away asking for salary information and how many weeks of vacation they would get the first year.

 

3. Be grateful for whatever amount of candy is offered to you.  These days, with so many people taking salary cuts, the Halloween treats might be much more restricted.  The same applies to the job offers I am seeing these days. Salaries are on an average about 25% less than before the pandemic hit.  Candidates must still be grateful for the opportunity to have a job with benefits with a stable company in these uncertain times.  Having an attitude of unrealistic salary expectations at this time might really cost you a good job offer where, even if the salary may be less to start, it would allow one to learn, grow and increase the salary with experience and time on the job.

 

4. Make sure you say “Thank You” – No matter what is offered to you, be grateful and always say “Thank You.”  The same goes for an interview with a prospective employer.  Even if you don’t get the job offer, make sure you send a “thank you” note within the first 24 hours. If you get a rejection letter, always respond with gratitude for the opportunity to interview with them.  I had a situation where my client hired a candidate from another source instead of the candidate I presented. Because my candidate sent a thank you note immediately and also responded to the rejection letter, when another opening came up in a different department, the client called me back asking for my candidate.  The way the applicant handled the situation made an impression and stayed fresh in the mind of the HR Director.  Your job search does not have to necessarily be a scary practice or situation.  Stay positive and demonstrate yourself in a manner that will allow you to get offers in this challenging market.

 

Let Halloween and its long history of “rebirth” and transformation allow you to view your career plan with the same zest and enthusiasm as that Trick-or-Treater on a hunt for their own treats in life.  With the right attitude, you, too, can make your job hunt sweeter and enjoy the benefits of conducting yourself in a manner that allows you to gain the job and career you imagine yourself to have!  You might just find a job that is better suited for you than the one you had before.  You are in control of how you conduct yourself and how you seek what you are looking for.  Attitude is the biggest game-changer in your job search. With the right attitude and presentation, you are in control.  Just like that five-year-old trick-or-treater who appears on your doorstep on Halloween night who says “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am,” “please” and “thank you,” while making eye contact in the cutest costume you have ever seen, will always be rewarded with that extra piece of candy given with a smile.  Take control of your outcome by recognizing that you had the power all along.

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness

What Happens When You Twist Language

This Sounds Like the Beginning of a Joke

One of my favorite children’s book series is Amelia Bedelia. It involves a housekeeper named Amelia Bedelia who works for the Rogers family. She is always getting things wrong, even though Amelia does what she is told to do. The result is never what the Rogers family wants, yet if you look at what Amelia did it is exactly what Mrs. Rogers said. When Mrs. Rogers asks Amelia to draw the drapes, she is asking Amelia to close the drapes. Amelia proceeds to draw a picture of the drapes, which is exactly what she is told to do. The words are correct yet the language gets twisted.

Language

The twist of words makes the story comical. It also shows how our language can be used for more than communicating one person to another. According to Webster’s First American Dictionary, language is defined as; “human speech; the use of words or sounds to articulate the thoughts of one person to another.”

Our language is one of our most used tools to convey a message. We are also able to maneuver the language for amusement to create jokes. It’s an ingenious and harmless way of interaction.  Words spoken with a funny anecdote produce laughter.

Joke

There are three parts to a joke; the setup, the punch line, and the tag (adding more punch lines using the same setup). What makes the antic humorous is throwing the listener off guard by relating the setup to something ridiculous. Jokes are a clever way to use our language to give an unexpected message. It’s the change in direction that makes a joke funny.

For Example:

Joke #1 Two guys walk into a bar. You would think the second one would’ve seen it.

Joke #2 Husband/Wife

One night while in bed the husband wakes the wife and says, ‘I can’t sleep.’ The wife responds back, ‘Sure you can; I’ve seen you do it.’

Twisted Language

The listener is thinking the information is heading in a certain direction, yet twisting the language brings a surprise the listener wasn’t expecting. That’s what makes jokes funny.

Language is how we communicate to convey a message. It is also capable of being twisted in a way that produces a joke. Who thought words could be fun.

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness Management

Unpredictability on Demand – Why Telemedicine is a Hot Commodity

Paul Ricci, the interim CEO of SOC Telemed, used that phrase to describe his company. SOC (which stands for Specialists on Call) is more than just a telemedicine service for when you have a cold or stomach bug. It has teams of psychiatric specialists and neurologists available on-demand to hospitals and health systems across the country.

 

I recently had the pleasure of hosting Paul on All Business with Jeffrey Hayzlett in a fascinating conversation about SOC Telemed’s business, its growth, and where it’s going next.

 

You might be wondering why SOC concentrates on just two areas of medicine. Paul says for many health systems it comes down to filling a need.

 

“If (hospitals) didn’t have access to specialists, they would have to turn stroke patients away to other facilities. It allows (hospitals) to resolve backlogs. One of the chronic problems in healthcare institutions today is the backlog of patients who show up to emergency rooms.”

 

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, over 145 million people go through emergency rooms every year at a cost of over $1,300. Paul adds that having access to these specialists not only helps hospitals it also saves them money.

 

“We have customers of different types. Some customers want to use our platform to optimize the virtualization of their own resources, and some hospitals are looking for the virtualization of our resources where they have unpredictable demand that they can’t afford to staff or can’t find the requisite specialist and are unable to recruit specialists for that facility,” Paul said.

 

SOC Telemed not only helps rural health systems have access to expertise, but it benefits some of the nation’s largest hospitals as well. Over three-quarters of U.S. hospitals currently use telemedicine to connect patients with medical professionals, with states like Alaska, Arkansas, and my own home state of South Dakota having the highest adoption rates of telemedicine.

 

“A large hospital system might use a combination of their own specialists, they might use some third-party specialist group, and they might use some specialists from SOC. They can do it on one platform that lets them optimize the delivery of those specialties on demand in these unpredictable moments,” Paul emphasized.

 

Telemedicine has been around for years and is a hot industry right now, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic. Hospitals and doctors are getting used to this care via video model.

 

“There has been a higher demand for telemedicine services during the pandemic, and there’s been an increased interest which has led to a lot of bookings activity for the company this year as hospitals have tried to respond to the shortage of physicians which the pandemic. Has caused.” Paul added.

 

Even patients are beginning to get more comfortable with the idea of a doctor on a screen.

“People tend to be skeptical of new things, and there’s a certain discomfort. We take a great deal in comfort from human touch and interpersonal reaction,” Paul said. “But in the end, this is a very efficient way to get access to higher quality services. The ability to have a stroke neurologist available at that critical moment is a real value for the patient and the hospital.”

 

Not only is the company scaling fast, it recently joined a SPAC (Special Purpose Acquisition Company) to go public because due to its fast growth. SPACs are publicly traded companies created to make an acquisition; and many times their success has a direct correlation  to faith in the management team.

 

“We’re projecting as we look into 2021, in 2022 (the growth) essentially is in the 40 percent range and that growth is in part and acceleration of utilization driven by COVID as we go through the next year and impart a ramping up of our sales and marketing efforts to serve more completely the demand,” Paul said.

 

Some of that demand could be outside of the United States as well. SOC Telemed is beginning to test its offerings in Canada. With that growth does come some growing pains, like hiring, onboarding, and getting doctors licensed in the states they serve.

 

“(Onboarding) can take quite some time, because you have to recruit the physicians and physicians are in demand,” Paul said. “We have a recruiting organization that is very effective with that. But then you have to get them licensed and privileged, and they may not have that for specific healthcare facilities in other states. Sometimes that process can take six to twelve months or even longer.”

 

SOC Telemed is an interesting company, serving a real niche. It will be exciting to see where it goes.

 

If you’d like to hear my complete conversation with Paul, click here.

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness

How to Cope in Your “War Zones”

There were 100 little babies laying three and four to a cardboard box, strapped in the belly of a gutted cargo jet. It was 1975, Saigon was falling to the Communists, and I was accidentally caught up in the Vietnam Orphan Airlift.

A stressful situation. If you don’t have coping skills, you learn them fast!

As our plane took off, I was haunted with an image of three days before when I had stood on the runway and watched as the first planeload of orphans crashed after takeoff, killing half of the adults and children board. I clutched our newly adopted baby boy to my chest. Would this plane be blown out of the sky too? I trembled so hard I could barely hold our son. To cope, I started slow, deep easy breathing…the kind I’d learned from our Lamaze classes several years before. The same breathing I’d used to bring our daughters into our family, I was using to bring our son.

Since then I’ve learned over and over that those child-birthing techniques are not just for women and not just for labor, but they are life skills. Breathing, relaxation, positive thinking and visualization are imperative for coping with the challenges in the “war zones” of our lives.

Breathing

In our ever-busy, often chaotic daily lives it’s important to take time every day for mental breaks. Slow deep breathing is one of the best and most effective tools for mental rest, relaxation, and focus, but it is so simple we often discount it. Rhythmic breathing relieves stress and tension and releases endorphins in our brains, our bodies’ own pain medications. Stress raises adrenaline levels in all of us, putting us into the “fight or flight mode.”

This ancient survival mechanism is leftover from when cavemen were chased by wild beasts. In this mode, our bodies send all the energy and circulation to the organs needed at that moment and take energy away from those not needed for survival then. That’s why our hearts, like the caveman’s, beat so fast and our breathing is rapid when we get scared. We need a heartbeat and breathing to run and survive. What we don’t need is a bladder. This explains why kindergarteners wet their pants on stage. They are so nervous up there, singing their songs that their little hearts and lungs are working overtime to help them survive. Think of the last time you were really nervous and afraid. Did you have to go to the bathroom?

Breathing and relaxing decrease adrenaline output and allow our organs and body parts to work at their best and “save” us.

Controlled breathing is one of the easiest ways to improve mental and physical health. Slow, deep, and consistent respirations have been proven effective in treating migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety disorders, and pain.

Rhythmic breathing is easy. Breathe slowly, from your abdomen, in through your nose to the count of 4, then out through your mouth to the count of four. In-2-3-4; out-2-3-4. As you breathe in, think the words “I am” and as you breathe out think, “relaxed.” Continue for several minutes, getting slower and deeper with each breath. It works.

When I was en route to Vietnam, the national officers of our organization met me at the airport with $10,000 to smuggle into Vietnam!  So with the most expensive padded bra in world history, I headed through customs. An angry-looking Vietnamese guard with a gun barked at me, and I feared he’d take one look at my chest and know this was not an act of God! Trembling with fright, I knew I’d give myself away. So I started that deep breathing– in, $1,000, $2,000, $3000, out $4000…! I relaxed and made my way safely through customs.

Relaxation

We are only as relaxed as our hands and our faces. You can’t relax if you’re making a fist…or clenching your teeth… or the steering wheel. You schedule so many activities into your days, yet seldom schedule relaxation. Still, you must allocate at least fifteen minutes every day for relaxation, meditation, or prayer.

Ideally, you should set up a “relaxation” place at home, where you can listen to guided relaxation exercises or soothing music while doing slow, rhythmic breathing. Involving all five senses is best, perhaps by lighting a scented candle or gliding in a rocker. Once you’ve mastered this relaxation technique, you can utilize it in your break room, office, the ballpark, or bed.

Positive Thinking

I am an absolute believer in the power of positive thinking. You get what you expect from life. When you expect positive things, you act accordingly and get positive results in return. When expect success you usually succeed; when you expect failure, you usually fail. When you expect health, you make healthy choices; when you expect illness, you are often sick.

Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

The average person has forty thousand thoughts per day, of which 80% are negative. Every time you have a negative thought, your brain releases negative chemicals that make your body feel bad. Think about the last time you were upset. How did your body feel? Did your heart rate increase, your jaw clench, your breathing quicken? Now, imagine one of your happiest times. When you do so, your brain releases chemicals that make your body feel good. You’ll notice a slower heartbeat, deeper easier breathing, and relaxed muscles.

Your brain can literally be “rewired” with positive thinking. Some neurological connections are strengthened while others are replaced. New thoughts and images stimulate new pathways in the brain and, when constantly repeated, have a great impact on behavior. For example, if you constantly think, “I’m so annoyed with my leadership team and I can never get all this work done,” and think of all the irritating things they do, you are strengthening those neurological connections. Those thoughts and images become a part of your strong belief system, and that affects your mood, behavior, relationship, and work. But if you change your mental engineering by using positive thoughts and images, soon your brain will be rewired, and your thoughts, images, actions, and productivity will change. The more you repeat, “I love my leadership and my job!” the greater the neurological impact.

You can take positive thinking one step farther by incorporating Positive Imaging. Positive visualization is a powerful and mysterious force in human nature that’s capable of bringing about dramatic improvement in our lives. Einstein said, “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.”

Cancer patients say they have less nausea and vomiting when visualizing a serene white beach of Maui, cascading waterfalls, peaceful sunsets. But it seems that can work in reverse. One cancer patient saw her doctor in the grocery store and it brought back such intense images of nausea with her chemo, she threw up on his shoes!

Make a list of positive statements and repeat them multiple times a day. Here a few ideas to get you started:

Positive Affirmations

I am relaxed and centered.

I love life.

I lovingly care for my body, mind, and spirit.

I am living my priorities every day.

I am happy and blissful just being alive.

I am vibrantly healthy and radiantly beautiful.

I am strong.

I have enough time, energy, wisdom, and money to accomplish my desires.

I love doing my work, and I’m richly rewarded, creatively, and financially.

The light of God within me is producing perfect results.

I always communicate truthfully, clearly, effectively, and lovingly.

I bring joy and laughter to all I do.

I invest my time wisely on what’s really important.

My relationship with__________ is growing happier and more fulfilling every day

Breathing, relaxation, positive thinking, and positive visualization work. It’s unlikely that you’ll ever be asked to rescue babies in cardboard boxes in a war-torn country, but your efforts and stressors are sometimes as great. Remember to breathe, relax, and think positive as you navigate your “war zones.”

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Leadership

Focus on the Positive By Keeping a Journal

As human beings, we seem to be wired to focus on the negative. What fills the news – positive or negative topics? Negative news gets our attention.

We concentrate on what needs to be fixed. This habit is called “negative bias.” It is easy to get sucked into negativity right now. Our lives are dramatically changed by the pandemic.

In psychological terms, negative bias means that even when two events have equal objective value, we focus more on the more negative event—negative thoughts, emotions, or interactions. If Margaret is part of a virtual networking event where she has a positive interaction with a prospect and a negative interaction with someone else, she will brood or worry about the negative exchange instead of remembering the positive one.

Wanting to Fix What’s Broken is Normal

In some ways, this is logical. If your car is running smoothly except for a faulty air conditioner, you are going to focus on that air conditioner because you know you need to get it fixed. With a negative social interaction, you analyze it to see how you could have handled it more effectively.

However, if you focus on negative events to the exclusion of positive ones, you erode the self-confidence that allows you to say, “I want to improve my ability in this area, and I know I can do it.” Instead, you may beat yourself up for failure.

You can see how self-doubt, fed by focus on “failures,” can foster fears that you aren’t a good leader.

Keep a Record of Your Successes

It takes effort, concentration, and commitment to release the automatic focus on the negative. One way to build these psychological muscles is to record your successes.

To build this positive habit, I recommend a daily accounting. To begin, get a small notebook or use your phone. Every time you have a positive experience, make a note of it.

“Juan praised my monthly report.”

“In today’s meeting, I managed to get Shoshonna and Fernando to see each other’s viewpoint.”

When you get home, take some time during the evening to add these successes to either a physical or a computer file. Expand your notes.

“Juan said that my report did a great job of summarizing the key challenges we’ll be facing during the coming quarter. He especially liked my analysis of cost projections. I know that I worked very carefully on those figures, and I feel rewarded for that effort.”

“Shoshonna and Fernando were at each other’s throats. At first, I wanted to jump in and break it up, but I decided to sit back and try to determine the source of the conflict between them. I heard that they weren’t listening to each other, and I found a way to point that out without blaming either of them.”

If you like, you can go even further into the details of what made your strategies work so well.

Let Your Records Serve as a Resource and Morale Booster

You have a day at work that seems to wipe out your morale. You’re not a leader, you tell yourself; you’ll never get the hang of this.

Read through your journal. Take in each success. You’ve proven yourself a leader before. You have that ability. One day is ONE DAY; it’s not the rest of your life.

Then you may want to look objectively at the supposed failures of this one day. Note, without blaming yourself, how you could have done something differently. Write down what you’ll do the next time such a situation arises. You may find that reading about your successes can provide valuable clues to these problems.

The beauty of keeping such a record/journal is that it takes you out of your internalized gloom and allows you to analyze events without self-judgment.

That’s what good leaders do.

If you have doubts about your ability to be a good leader, keep a record of your successes. You can also record your mistakes in a thoughtful way, analyzing them so as to avoid future errors. These entries will provide a record to which you can refer to reinforce your confidence.

Pat Iyer’s father taught her to focus on the negativity. She’s learned to see the positive in life. Pat works with business leaders as an editor, ghostwriter, and book coach. Reach her through patiyer.com.