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Category: Health and Wellness

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Growth Health and Wellness

7 Ways to Help Your Child Through the Pandemic

How have you been coping? Last year has been particularly challenging for many parents: tasked with working (increasingly long) hours from home, maintaining an (increasingly messy) house 24-7, and perhaps playing teacher to their children as well.

You might have noticed your child “acting out” more often than usual. They’re likely feeling the effects of the pandemic, cooped up at home and cut off from their friends. The isolation may not cause permanent damage, but it’s certainly taking a short-term toll on kids and parents alike.

As a parent, it’s your job to look out for your children’s mental and emotional wellbeing—which, by the way, requires you to meet their needs, not be a superhero. Here are 7 ways you can support your kid:

Give them the 411

If you have very young children, you may not have talked to them yet about COVID-19. Make sure you do as it becomes developmentally appropriate. Kids need to know why they have to wash their hands for 20 seconds, or wear a mask, or stay 6 feet apart from others. If you have older kids, be sure to explain how you’ve come to your decisions about everything from school to slumber parties. We’re all making calculations to keep our children safe; be sure your kid understands your family’s math.

Add or maintain structure

Simple routines add structure, and structure makes kids (and adults) feel safe. They know what to expect. Try setting times for waking up, eating, studying, and doing chores. Assign tasks around the house. Differentiate the weekends from the weekdays. Make sure to build in some free time so kids can assert their independence by controlling their own activities.

Set attainable goals

It’s far better to achieve and celebrate small wins than to undermine a child’s confidence by setting impossible goals. Being able to complete smaller tasks, such as changing out of pajamas or taking a quick walk every day, will help them feel accomplished and self-assured.

Offer freedom to explore

Let your children discover and explore their own unique interests. Allow them to find self-expression in whatever pursuit they choose: be it playing with LEGOs, learning about dinosaurs, or aspiring to be the next Ruth Bader-Ginsburg. Broadening your mind and expanding your creativity is something not even a pandemic can take away.

Let them cry it out

Who doesn’t feel like yelling or bursting into tears these days? Give your child space to grieve and process their emotions. When they’re ready, ask what’s really bothering them. Do they miss seeing their friends? Are they feeling afraid or insecure about the world? Acknowledge that your child is a human being with complex emotions, and let them express those emotions without rushing to a solution.

Stay connected

We all need a support system. Schedule Zoom or Facetime calls with grandparents or friends. Build in quality time for your family to be together beyond rushing past one another during the work/school day. It will help everyone feel less isolated.

Give them their own space

Finally, carve out a special place just for your child. It doesn’t have to be an entire room; a small nook in your kitchen or office area will do. Giving kids room to breathe, physically, mentally, and emotionally, gives them space to grow and learn.

The last several months have been difficult for all of us, and it’s of the utmost importance that we find healthy ways to cope. Remember that you need support, too! To connect with a group of a thriving community of fellow parents, be sure to follow the Conscious Parenting Revolution on Facebook.

P.S. Not a part of our FB community yet? Follow the Conscious Parenting Revolution for exclusive content you can’t get anywhere else.

Visit us at: www.consciousparentingrevolution.com

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Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

Good Parenting Means Resisting the Urge to “Take Over” for Your Kids

One of the hardest things about parenthood is letting kids learn on their own without stepping in to “rescue” them.

If you’ve. . .

peeled yourself away from your child’s clinging embrace on the first day of school 

let them cut their own bangs when you knew it would be disastrous

helped your doctor hold your baby firmly during vaccination

. . . then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

There’s nothing worse than seeing our children struggle. There’s even a scientific reason as to why adults find it next to impossible to ignore a child’s cry.

A study from the University of Oxford found that the adult brain is hard-wired to respond to the sound of a baby crying—whether or not they’re the parents. If perfect strangers can have a visceral reaction to a child in need, of course it’s that much harder for parents and caregivers.

But perhaps the hardest part of all is resisting the urge to step in like superheroes at the first sign of distress. When we’re too quick to rescue our kids from every challenge they face, we hamper their growth and independent learning while denying them the self-confidence that autonomous achievement can bring.

I talk about resisting the urge to take over for our kids in this short video:

So next time your kid is upset over a math assignment, a misunderstanding with a friend, or indecision over which college to attend, resist the urge to swoop in and take over with a solution.

Talk to them, listen to them, soothe their anxiety, and offer advice—then step back and let them handle it on their own.

Parents, I feel your pain in seeing your kids struggle! But sometimes good parenting means letting them fall so that we can see them rise up and triumph.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine
P.S. I did a brief segment on WUSA 9 last month! For tips on how to manage your and your family’s mental health, watch here.

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Growth Health and Wellness

Want more parenting support? Try these 4 podcasts

 

Dear Parent,

We all know the irreplaceable value of a strong, inclusive, loving support group. From childhood to parenthood, small networks of family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and classmates give us a sense of belonging, protection, and camaraderie. 

Support feeds the soul. 

When you’re a parent, getting the right support is crucial. Whether your kid won’t stop yelling your name or isn’t interested in talking to you at all, there are times when you’re frustrated and stressed out. All you want is the sympathetic voice of a friend who knows what you’re going through (and maybe a glass of wine). 

You may have been disconnected from your usual support systems these last few months. I’ve discovered that a great podcast can help rebuild a sense of community. Listening to a wonderful podcast host feels a bit like a conversation with a wise and empathetic friend. 

I’ve had the honor of appearing on several podcasts in the last few weeks. If you’d like to learn more about the Guidance Approach to Parenting, please check out these episodes. 

If you like what you hear, I encourage you to listen to some other episodes and subscribe to these fantastic shows. 

The Sensory Project Show

Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill are certified occupational therapy assistants whose mission is to help families practice health and wellness in their daily lives. They’re light-hearted, funny, intelligent women with a fresh perspective on healthy family dynamics. Listen to my episode with Rachel and Jessica here.

The Blended Family Podcast

Melissa Brown addresses the challenges of having an extended and blended home life with personal stories based on her own family. She tackles difficult topics like having a healthy divorce, managing relationships between non-biological siblings, and “time sharing” with an ex. Her episodes aim to help blended families not only co-exist, but thrive. Listen to my episode with Melissa here.

Distraction Podcast

In our world full of bright, shiny objects, we all need some advice on managing distractions. Dr. Ned Hallowell, a New York Times best-selling author and ADHD expert, lends his expertise on minimizing distractions in your daily life. His bright, enthusiastic show offers practical advice and shows how issues like ADHD can transform into strengths. Listen to my episode with Dr. Ned here.

The Modern Mamas Podcast

Jess Gaertner and Laura Bruner embody modern motherhood: Laura is a certified nutrition consultant, Jess is a licensed athletic trainer with a master’s degree in kinesthesiology, both are CrossFit trainers, and mamas to their babies—whew! They interview guests about fertility, pregnancy, parenting, fitness, and holistic health, and spirituality. This duo is a blast to listen to! Listen to my episode with Jess and Laura here.

Which episode was your favorite? Hit reply and let me know!

 

P.S. These episodes are a great beginning to rethinking your relationship with your kids. If you’re ready to take the next step, check out my FREE webinar, 3 Common Mistakes Parents Make and How to Reverse Them.

​​Visit us at: www.consciousparentingrevolution.com
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Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

3 Parenting Shifts to Support Your Teen’s Individuation

Does your teen suddenly want nothing to do with you? 

 

Are you wondering why your sweet child who once made you rub their back every night until they fell asleep now barely even wants to be seen with you? There’s a scientific reason behind this sudden shift: a complex process known as individuation.

 

It’s Not You, It’s Individuation

 

According to physician and psychiatrist Margaret Mahler, a child’s life begins in a symbiotic relationship with their primary caregiver before they eventually realize their separateness and form an autonomous identity.

 

This process is called “individuation,” and the sudden transition that occurs can result in classic adolescent behavior: a need for space, an increased awareness of their peers, and volatile emotions. Sound familiar? 

 

As difficult as it is for parents to feel their children drifting away, I want to encourage you not to take it personally. (I know, easier said than done!) Your child is going through a perfectly natural development in their lives—and it’s critical to give them the support they need so they can grow to be an autonomous and well-adjusted adult. 

 

How can we help our children (and ourselves!) through this new phase of development?

 

What your child needs at age 7 will no longer apply for this stage in life. As our kids transition into adolescence and adulthood, we must make adjustments to our parenting, too.

Three Parenting Shifts to Support Your Teen’s Individuation

 

Transition from “manager” to “consultant.”

 

As caregivers, we’re used to doing everything for our kids: feeding them, bathing them, tucking them in at night, and all things in between. 

 

Now that your kid is a teenager, it’s time to step back from your managerial role. Your teen needs to learn how to manage their own life—so let them. 

 

Fostering healthy autonomy involves giving your teen the space to make their own decisions, even if that means they dye their hair blue or pick a college far from home. 

 

Of course, stepping back as a parent isn’t about becoming permissive or detached; it’s about taking on more of a consultancy role than a managerial role. The tradeoff when we let go of “power over” is that we gain influence.

 

Rather than giving directions, provide opinions or suggestions. Ask your teen questions instead of telling them what to do. Let them know that you’re there to guide them as they walk their own path.


Encourage their curiosity about what’s fair and right.

 

Kids of all ages are deeply concerned with fairness. Just think about how many times you’ve heard your child shout, “It’s not fair!” over the years.

 

Why not put a positive spin on this preoccupation and encourage your teen to explore fairness and justice on a wider scale?

 

Talk to them about world issues like gender inequality and systemic racism. Understanding bigger concepts of fairness and unfairness will help them determine what’s fair and right in micro settings like school, friend groups, and even at home.


Lean into the hard conversations.

 

Talking to your kid about topics like religion, politics, drugs, or sex can be uncomfortable—but these are the conversations you need to be having! Accept the discomfort and power through. 

 

If, for example, you’re watching a movie and a controversial theme pops up, don’t just clear your throat and dismiss it. Encourage conversation, listen to what your teen has to say, and share your own opinion. Let them know you’re their safe space for addressing challenging topics head on. 

 

A child’s shift into adolescence and adulthood can be a tumultuous time. But if we commit to growing with them and shifting our parenting approach, we can help make this transition as smooth and manageable as possible.

 

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Want to learn more about my Guidance Approach to Parenting? Reach out today and join the Conscious Parenting Revolution!

 

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Growth Health and Wellness Management Skills

WATCH: Life Lessons From This is Water

This is Water…

 

What the Hell is Water?

American author, David Foster Wallace, was credited with giving one of the best commencement speeches of all time.

Which is a pretty impressive accomplishment given it was the only public appearance he ever gave on his view of life and the lessons he drew from it.

He was the winning nominee for the graduation event at Kenyon College, beating out then senator Hillary Clinton and astronaut turned senator John Glenn.

Wallace gave a speech that went viral for explaining the “unsexy” and yet very real realities of day-to-day adult life.

The speech contained a lesson from a parable of an encounter among three different goldfish.

 

It went something like this:

One day, there were two goldfish that were swimming along the ocean floor, when along came an older and wiser goldfish.

In passing, the wise goldfish said to the two young fish:

“Morning boys, how’s the water?”

The two fish kept swimming along for a bit until one of the younger goldfish eventually turned to the other and said, “What the hell’s water?”…

 

 

Summary:

The point of the parable is that the most obvious realities that affect us in life (and in our case, business) are often the hardest to see and identify.

But often remain their hidden in plain sight.

The fact is that in the day-to-day trenches of success and survival, banal platitudes can have a life-or-death importance.

 

Self-Awareness

Wallace explained that the real value for education,  has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness.

Awareness of what is real and essential is hidden in plain sight all around us at all times; so much so, that we must keep reminding ourselves over and over, “This is water…”

“This is water,” is the current state of nearly every business struggling to identify our pathway to succeed in today’s ever changing environment.

 

 

As we continue to adapt and change to meet the demands of today, I thought i would end by providing another platitude:

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

-Thomas Edison

 

WATCH: This is Water. The Best Commencement Speech of All Time

 

Never stop, keep going and enjoy the journey.

For more information visit tylerhayzlett.com

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Management Skills Women In Business

Write Your Professional Goals Into Reality

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. When New Year’s Day arrived, I didn’t dream of achieving unrealistic changes to habits and behaviors. Instead, I thought through realistic goals. Then I snuggled up with a hot cup of coffee and began writing them down. At that point, something shifted.

Toward the end of 2019, as I thought through what I wanted for the new year, I never took the time to write down any of my goals. I brainstormed what I wanted to achieve and moved on with my day. Those goals didn’t seem real until New Year’s Day when I actually wrote them down. It was like signing a contract and agreeing to follow through on my promises. The commitment I made was undeniable since it was there in black and white.

When you have big dreams and goals, do you write them down, or do you only think about them? The difference may surprise you. One study by Dr. Gail Matthews, a professor of psychology, revealed participants were twice as likely to achieve their goals when they regularly wrote them down.

Science discovered that just thinking of our goals only enlists the help of our right brain — our creative centers. It is when we put pen to paper that we also engage our left-brain logic centers. By using our entire brain in the goal-setting process, we significantly increase the likelihood of attainability. As we repeatedly write down goals, our mind is reminded of their importance and begins to respond with subconscious day-to-day behavioral changes.

If you desire more influence, credibility, and opportunity in the workplace, I invite you to join me in this four-step, goal-achieving challenge:

1. Identify Where You Are Versus Where You Want To Be

Grab a piece of paper and settle into a quiet place of thought and reflection. Consider what professional success looks like. Perhaps you want a promotion or raise. Maybe you want more respect and authority with peer teams, coworkers, and colleagues. Or, perhaps you want your ideas to be heard and acted upon with enthusiasm and interest. Write down whatever your goal may be.

Next, consider the quality traits you believe necessary to achieve those goals. Would completing your high-profile project early lead to a promotion? Or, would more engaging meetings with colleagues lead to greater ideas and consistent follow-through? Write down every characteristic you believe is necessary to achieve your goal.

2. Define Your Current Status

Once you’ve defined and documented what you want professionally this year, reflect on what it will take to bridge the gap. This will help you identify the groundwork needed to guarantee success. For example, if you are a sales professional and want to earn a bigger paycheck, you need to close more deals. To close more deals, you need to convince more prospects to buy. To do this, you need more influence within the conversations and relationships you create to build a better rapport, deeper trust and greater credibility.

3. Engage A Support Team

Choose someone you trust and enlist their help to achieve your goals. Ask for their honest feedback and perspective about what you need to improve. Establish a routine appointment to discuss your progress and ongoing commitment to change. Research shows that while meeting with an accountability partner can increase your chance of success by up to 65%, routine meetings increase your chances of success by up to 95%. Make a weekly appointment with your accountability partner and commit to bringing your documented list of goals. Write down weekly action items and set a deadline or commitment. Discuss what you’ve done to implement their feedback and any progress toward your goals.

4. Realize Reflection Creates Reality

Choose a regular time each day to review your goals. Review what you wish to achieve and the steps necessary to get there. Read the notes provided by your accountability partner and write down the action items needed to stay on course that day. Personally commit to remaining focused on what you wish to achieve.

Don’t just dream of goals this year, but instead strive for success by engaging all aspects of your mind and body. Write down your goals. Develop a plan of action. Get feedback, enlist help and continually reflect on the next course of action. Increase your chances of success by grabbing a pen and paper.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Mergers & Acquisition Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Women Leaders: Break Through Your Upper Limits!

Why are some women in business more successful than others? Is it their skills, education, genetics, good looks, hard work, luck, or one of a thousand other reasons? Nope, while these can be contributing factors, beliefs about yourself and what is possible are the fundamental determinants of your success. Your beliefs are your continuous thought processes that dictate your attitudes, actions, and ultimately your outcomes.

If you believe that you can create a successful global business or career, have a happy, fulfilling family life and ideal health you will marshal the resources and opportunities to fulfill those beliefs.

In contrast, if you believe that it is impossible or unrealistic that you could ever write a bestselling book, run a 26.2-mile marathon, make a successful career change or do anything audacious and important to you, you will probably not achieve these grand desires.

However, positive achievements will only happen if you commit and act on those empowering beliefs; even without seeing immediate results. Acting with courage and confidence, you will move beyond the upper limits of what you think is possible and probable into the zone of the unknown and uncomfortable.

Are Your Beliefs Really Serving You?

Some of your beliefs have served you well; however, if there is an area of your life that is not working as you desire, examine what you REALLY believe about it. You may have conscious or unconscious beliefs such as “I’m not good with money”, “If I pursue my interests, I’m being selfish”, “I’m not smart enough, disciplined, connected, or you, the reader can fill in the blanks” that are sabotaging your success.

Break Through Your Upper Limits!

Your “Upper Limits Success Strategy ™” goes beyond “positive thinking” to a new dimension of generating consistent and positive results. As it’s often said, “Success leaves clues.” Model the patterns of what works and what doesn’t work – if you are willing to look carefully. Everyone has their own scotomas or ‘blind spots’; areas where we cannot see all of the opportunities, options, and choices due to rigid, preconceived ways of thinking and viewing the world. Ask yourself, “If there wasn’t an upper limit to my success and happiness, what would I be thinking and doing?” Then think those thoughts and take those actions. Repeat. Get a coach or mentor to help you construct a constellation of empowering beliefs with new habits and an upward spiral of positive momentum will begin to form.

Mastery and Courage Strengthen Your Resolve.

Practice and reinforce your new beliefs and strengthened courage that you can handle anything that comes your way. Learn from your past failures (yes, everyone has them). Do not let them hinder or define you. You now have knowledge about what has not worked for you. New levels of success can change the dynamics in your career, relationships, and your old, preconceived notions of what you can achieve. Yes, there will be unintended consequences and often there is a downside when you get what you want. There may be a loss of privacy if you would like to pursue a political career or extensive travel to build a global business. It is common to avoid being on the world stage for fear of being criticized or risk failing in a public way.

Put yourself on the upward path to success. Be bold and confidently develop strategies and plans to overcome the roadblocks and limits in the way. The world needs for you to succeed, pay it forward and model the way for greatness!

Kathleen Caldwell is the CEO of Caldwell Consulting Group, a business strategist, success hypnotherapist, and founder of the C-Suite Network Women’s Leadership Council ™. Kathleen can be reached at 773.562.1061,  https://c-suitenetwork.com/councils/womens-leadership-council/

https://tinyurl.com/KathleenCaldwellLinkedIn

Copyright 2021. Caldwell Consulting Group, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

5 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Your Kids Growing Up

Is this the little girl I carried?

Is this the little boy at play?

I don’t remember growing older,

When did they?

Girl on Swing

Have you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof?

It’s the tale of a Jewish milkman named Tevye who has five daughters. Those lyrics are from the lullaby he and his wife sing just before their eldest daughter gets married.

When did she grow to be a beauty?

When did he grow to be so tall?

Wasn’t it yesterday when they were small?

When you think about your children growing up, what emotions do you experience?

Do you feel hope and elation—or fear and anxiety?

Are You Scared to Let Your Kids Grow Up?

Research from the American Family Survey reveals that modern parents set arbitrary milestones to cope with discomfort about their adolescents growing up, which ultimately results in postponing their independence.

When asked what age kids should be “allowed to play at a park or walk home without adult supervision,” the answer was 13. But those same parents said they would let their kid get a job or go on a date less than two years later.

Pexels Mary Taylor 5896916

What these numbers really show is that behind the confusion is an underlying fear. But what are parents and caregivers so afraid of?

  • Fear of danger. The most prevalent of all parental anxieties is the worry that our children will be harmed. This fear is perfectly normal and understandable, but the answer can’t be keeping our kids locked up like modern-day Rapunzels!
  • Fear of the future or the unknown. If the COVID-19 pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that the world as we know it can change in the blink of an eye. Although we want to keep our children safe and happy 100% of the time, the reality is that so much is beyond our control. The unknown can be a scary thing—but only if you let it be.
  • Fear of separation or letting go. Next time you go to a wedding, look around to see who’s bawling their eyes out. (Hint: it’s probably the parents!) Watching our kids transition to adulthood can make us feel lonely and insignificant, but part of our duty as caregivers is to set them up for independence.

5 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Your Kids Growing Up

Although it’s normal to have parental anxiety, being able to address and ultimately overcome your fears is important—for you and your kids. It’s not easy, but the results are so rewarding.

Here are five strategies that may work for you:

  1. Be a positive mirror. Keep in mind that if you’re acting afraid, your child may pick up on your emotions and start feeling the same way. As caregivers, it’s our duty to make our kids feel secure, and in many ways that begins with our own behavior. Show them how to navigate the world and its uncertainties smartly, safely, and confidently.
  1. Be encouraging. If you can’t handle the thought of your teen going on a date, imagine how they’re feeling right now! Remember how painfully insecure you felt when you were their age? Your teen needs encouragement more than anything. Reassure them that, as Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, “no feeling is final.” Whatever they’re feeling and experiencing will eventually sort itself out.
  1. Be honest. Encouragement is only valuable when it’s genuine and grounded in reality. If you sugarcoat life, you’re not doing your kid any favors. Take the pandemic, for example: telling your child COVID-19 will magically go away is dishonest and insincere. You may feel like you’re protecting them, but at what cost? A better approach is to explain the effects of the virus and educate them on how to stay safe.
  1. Be communicative. When my daughter Pia was a teenager, we would have disagreements about her going out with her friends and me not knowing where she was. Finally, she came to me one day and asked, “Mom, what can I do to reassure you that I’m safe?” We agreed that a simple text message informing me where she was and who she was with would ease my worry. Problem solved!

5. Be there. I cannot stress the importance of this last tip: let your child know that they can come to you anytime, anywhere, whatever they need. Listen to them. Empathize with how they feel. Just be there.

Don’t let fear cripple you from being the best parent you can be. Face your anxieties head-on and take concrete steps to overcome them so that you can be at peace with your child getting older.

And if you feel like you can’t cope on your own, by all means ask for help! It takes a village to raise a child and the Conscious Parenting Revolution is happy to be your support network.

Join our Facebook group to catch our coaches live streaming Tuesday Tips for Parents, every Tuesday at 6:10 pm PST. We’d love to see you there.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness Leadership

Being Creatively Grateful

If I do a “Self-Inventory,” the First Step of the Faremouth Method, and think of a year when I really could enjoy the comfort of a big holiday dinner with my family in a different state, this is it.  However, in 2020, getting on an airplane to go home to visit family or having a big feast with many folks around the dining room table isn’t advisable. It’s potentially even a high-risk activity. There will be other years coming to get together with family the way we used to. This year it’s more important to stay home in small gatherings with only those we live with, as the medical experts have advised. This is a perfect year to remember those special occasions of a time gone by with our loved ones who may not be with us any longer.

 

Holidays, for me, always bring back fond memories of my loving family and some of the interesting traditions and experiences that we shared.  I remember traveling to Florida, my parents’ retirement home, one Thanksgiving to visit my Mom and Dad with my husband, and two small sons.  We got there a few days early to shop for all the fixings for the big meal, and my then six-year-old son was always anxious to fish in the small pond near the condominium with Grandpa.

 

My Mother would start preparing all her special Italian dishes days before the actual holiday; her delicious lasagna, special veggie dip, amazing meatballs and sauce, pies, cannoli, etc.,  and we also would get caught up on so many things we all had been doing.  My mother seemed to always like to cook for a small army, and it was great to have the leftovers for a few days afterward.  Her cooking was always amazing, and to this day, I’ve still never mastered many of her special dishes that I watched her make so many times.

 

This one Thanksgiving I will never, ever, forget.  I remember hearing my mother get up extra early on Thanksgiving Day to get the turkey ready to put into the oven.  My kids, husband, and I got in the car with my Dad and drove to the ocean so the kids could pick up shells and get into the water.  It was a beautiful day, and it was great to walk along the beach and get away from the hustle-bustle of our lives to just relax.

 

After a few hours, we decided to head back to the condo to enjoy the big Thanksgiving meal my Mom had worked so hard to prepare.  My husband walked up the steps to the fourth floor of their condo and told me he was anxious to smell the fragrant turkey that he knew would be so delicious.  As we walked into the house, he looked at me with a funny smirk on his face because neither one of us smelled anything.  He walked into the kitchen and looked at the oven and came over to me and said, “Mary Ann, your Mom forgot to turn the oven on!”

 

I recall my Dad saying something like, “Oh, that’s ok.  We have so much food here.  We can extend the Thanksgiving celebration and have the turkey tomorrow.” That reminds me of a famous quote by Ernest Hemingway from his book, “The Old Man & the Sea,” that says:

 

“Now is not the time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.”

 

That quote really does remind me of the essence of Thanksgiving 2020.  We might not have the same opportunities to enjoy the normal traditions of the holiday, etc., but I think we can

be grateful for what we do have and make new traditions to enjoy what there is.

 

With so many people out of work, furloughed, or experiencing pay cuts, let’s take a look at some ways we can all be more creatively grateful this holiday season, and begin some new traditions we might consider putting into place that might allow us all to experience more joy during this beautiful time of the year.

 

Catherine Sanderson, professor of psychology at Amherst College, makes a good point when she says, “The key this year may be accepting that things need to evolve and avoid comparisons with celebrations from years past. If you try to replicate past holidays exactly, it’s like this year will feel inferior.”

 

  1.  Start New Traditions – Traditions can be great but new ones can offer creative experiences and bring people even more together. History offers plenty of examples of this. Jodi Eichler-Levine says, “During the era of mass migration from Europe to the United States, people who’d immigrated suddenly had no way to celebrate major holidays with those they’d left behind.” One particular cultural group began creating elaborate postcards to celebrate the holiday.  “They were this gorgeous new art form,” she says.  “People could share their sentiments even though they could not physically be there with their loved ones.”  How neat to let your creative artistic juices run wild this holiday!  Maybe those art supplies you have tucked away in that bottom drawer of your chest need to come out and create something to give to those special people you care about. It’s a win-win for all; you can create something and feel good about giving someone a gift they might really like!
  2. Embrace Change – It’s been said “Rituals make the ordinary extraordinary.” A pumpkin pie on a random day in November is just a pumpkin pie, but a pumpkin pie on the fourth Thursday of November is not just pumpkin pie.  It’s a part of Thanksgiving tradition.  Our intentions, coupled with the season, elevate it.  With the digital world and Zoom so upon us, why not get with family in different states and all share dessert together online?  It might not be quite the same as being with them for the entire dinner, but it lets family be together and might allow people who would not be able to make an in-person visit, even without the pandemic, feel a part of the holiday and have the ability to visit and enjoy the warmth of family and good friends.
  3.  Donate to Those in Need – This Thanksgiving might be especially poignant due to the pandemic as many people have lost loved ones or are experiencing a pinch in their pocketbook.  Consider volunteering your time or donating some of those clothes stuck back in the closet, or what you can afford dollar wise that you would have spent on all the food, etc., for the holiday to an organization or charity that’s meaningful to you in lieu of having a big feast.

 

I do believe traditions and holidays are something that we should hold dear and close to our heart.  Mixing it up a bit this year and maybe in years to come, might be a nice new experience for many to enjoy.  Covid-19 doesn’t have to cast a negative light on this time of the year.  Why not decide to get creative and focus on what we can do with what there is.  Doing our own self-inventory of how we can be creatively grateful this year is also a good mindfulness practice that has only a focus on the heart of the why we get together for holidays.

 

The turkey that never got cooked that Thanksgiving Day in Florida with my parents really was not even missed.  It became a standing joke for years to come that to this day we laugh about and brings smiles to our faces!  While we enjoy the food at the holidays, it is really the connection of our hearts that creates the lasting impact and memories.  I know my sweet Mother is happy she was able to give me good content for this article during this time of the year!

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Resiliency is Tremendous

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. Living in the northeast part of the United States, autumn is a spectacular event that spans several months. Fall is also the time of harvest where we reap what we have sown. This year presented an interesting couple of seasons. In mid-March, I, like the rest of the world, had to pivot with purpose, not with pain, as our world took a very different turn.

My father, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, wrote a bestselling book in 1965 that has never gone out of print. The title of this motivational classic is Life is Tremendous, and in it, he extols the virtues and transformative power of enthusiasm. After dealing with the events of 2020, I think it’s safe to say that even when life is not tremendous, we can make it so by our inherent resiliency. There’s a term in leadership literature called adaptive capacity. A person can make lemonade when life gives them lemons.

I can remember growing up hearing that we were nothing more than evolved animals subject to fight or flight instincts when faced with a challenge or crisis. But we are so much more than that. True greatness lies not in the ability to go on the attack or run away, but in humankind’s ability to adapt. Our adaptive capacity enables us to turn a mess into a blessing, a test into a testimony. But this transformation doesn’t happen automatically. The very same thing that kills some makes others stronger.

The reason for a victorious emergence from any degree of hardship occurs when you awaken the Imago Dei, the God seed, within. When we unleash our innate great, amazing things begin to happen from the inside out. Have you acknowledged and owned your regenerative nature?