Category: Body Language

“Everyone believes negotiations are easy until one becomes difficult.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“Do You Know How To Easily Win More Negotiations”don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

That was one of the easiest negotiations we’ve had. Yeah, especially when you compare it to the one two weeks ago, when a member of the opposing team insulted me by referring to my mother as a female dog. I wish all of our negotiations were as easy as the one today. That was the exchange between two negotiation teammates, as they reflected on the talks they’d just concluded.

Some negotiations are more laid back, relaxed, and comfortable than others, due to several factors. The following information will allow you to control a discussion better by understanding the variables that shape its flow. The insights you’ll gain will give you the tools needed to shift gears quickly in a negotiation when such is required.

 

Assessment

 

The first step towards a successful negotiation is understanding the variables that shape your bargaining session. Such variables as the perceived value of what you’re negotiating, the negotiation style of the other negotiator, the allotted time, body language displayed, and how both of you address possible impasses, will impact your engagement.

Thus, the outcome will be determined by how you approach those variables and how adaptable you are during the negotiation. Do it right, and you’ll have more of a haggle-free interaction. Do it wrong, and your talks will become fraught with drama, dismay, and impasses that’ll lead to a dead-end outcome.

 

Variables To Consider

 

1. Allotted Time

The time set aside for the negotiation is a factor to consider seriously. Because it impacts the actions that negotiators will engage in as time begins to run out. And thus, not only will it affect the mentality of the negotiators, it could become the factor that determines when people start to negotiate in earnest, along with the source of stress that can lead a negotiation to impasses.

 

2. Peak Performance Time

Everyone has peak times when they’re most alert, creative, and productive. And that’s the time you should negotiate. It’s even more important to do that when you’re at critical points in the negotiation. To maximize peak time performance, attempt to uncover the other negotiator’s peak performance times, too. With that information, you can attempt to negotiate when he’s off his peak, and you’re on yours. Having discussions during his off-peak periods will give you an added advantage because he won’t be as alert.

 

3. Opponent’s Variables – Consider:

• How much leeway does he have without having to consult someone else?
• To whom must he prove himself that may not be at the negotiation table?
• What horrors must he avoid, at all costs in the talks, to make the outcome a win for him?

The insights gained from the answers to those questions will illuminate the degree of self-power he has in the negotiation, and how you might control him as the result of knowing his limitations.

 

4. Style of Negotiators

Negotiators use different approaches in a negotiation. And their attitude determines if they’ll play the part of someone tough or easy. With those less knowledgeable about negotiations, they may haphazardly enter a talk unaware of the persona they’re about to engage. And that puts them at a disadvantage.

 

Always attempt to understand the mindset of the person with whom you’re negotiating. By recognizing his mental makeup, you’ll have more insights into how he thinks. That’ll allow you to predict somewhat how he might act to offers you make, based on how you present them.

 

5. Style of Negotiation

Every negotiation has a particular flow and style to it. You can attribute that to the characteristics of those involved in the talks. Accordingly, you should note the ebb and flow of all of your negotiations. For one, it affects how you’ll engage in future discussions. And it’ll give you feedback about how to make a session easier to participate in, in the future.

 

6. Timing of Choices/Offers/Counteroffers

Be mindful of your choices, along with the offers and counteroffers you extend. The value and perception of your offerings are explicitly tied to when you make them. Therefore, always consider the impact that an offer will have on the ones that will follow.

 

7. Order of Offers

To give the appearance of an offer being more valuable, first, position it. You’d do that by making your introductory offer less appealing than the present one. Be mindful when adopting this approach. If the other negotiator senses you’re making better offers as the result of him rejecting them, he may hold off on committing until he believes he’s heard your best offer.

You can also increase the perception of an offer by taking it off the table. The ‘takeaway’ is a powerful motivator. Because once someone embraces a proposition, that person doesn’t want to lose it.

 

Body Language

There’s an abundance of information conveyed through someone’s body language. That information entails what a person says and what they do. Thus, it would help if you always were observant about why a person uses their body in the manner you witness. What you observe are signals indicating what’s going on inside their mind. The following are a few signals to note.

1. Mood – When someone’s mood shifts, it’s caused by a sensation they experience. That may be due to them reflecting on your offer, wondering if they should have made a different offer or a feeling that they’re not where they want to be in the negotiation. When you see someone’s mood shift, if it’s not to your liking, question them about what has happened. Better to address it then than allow it to be the cause that disrupts the negotiation later.
2. Hand movement – What someone does with their hands can be one of the most revealing aspects of their inner thoughts. If they cover an eye, rub an ear, put their hands in their pockets, those could be signals that they’re less committed to what you’re discussing, versus what they may say verbally. As is true when reading body language signals, you must first observe how someone uses gestures before you can accurately identify why they displayed them at a particular time. And it would be best if you watched the cluster of their actions. One action alone is not definitive to what they’re thinking.

 

Reflection

Negotiations can be as easy or difficult as the parties involved chose to make them. By arming yourself with the information mentioned, you’ll become positioned better to engage in your negotiations from a position of strength and control. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“The value of what you compare lies in the value of what you’re comparing.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“This Is How To Win Comparisons In The Negotiation”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

When people evaluate situations, they may not realize it, but they’re making comparisons. About that, you should raise your level of consciousness; because it’s a truism. In some instances, people compare a present situation to the ones that appear related to prior cases. At other times, they compare the current condition to the possibility of future outcomes. And that’s especially true during a negotiation. Regardless of the timeframe, when making comparisons, you’re evaluating the course of action to take. Thus, in your negotiation and other aspects of your life, when making comparisons, be aware of the impact that the following factors have on the outcome.

 

Listening

An intricate part of good communications in a negotiation, and other interactions, is the ability to listen well. To understand someone’s perspective, first, you must listen to what they say about the situation that’s before them. That’ll give you a mental picture of that person’s perception, and the opinion they have about it. That’ll also be the insight source that determines which comparisons to draw from later in the conversation.

If you’re astute, you’ll listen to the words they use to express themselves, the degree of excitement they share while doing so, and the pace at which they speak – word choice gives vision to someone’s thoughts. Thus, by being attentive to their word choices, you’ll gain a more profound sense of their emotional mind. And that’s the reason why you should listen for a deeper meaning than just the conveyance of their words. To do that, you must give that person the time and space they need to let their feelings be known, heard, and shared.

 

Tension/Apprehension

While you’re actively listening, note the comparisons someone makes while they’re speaking. In particular, observe the points about the tensions or apprehensions they’ve encountered. That’ll give you more clues about the pain they’ve experienced. Later, you’ll be able to employ that information as anchoring points of negativity or positivity during the negotiation.

Most people are moved to action by fear of loss, versus gaining something they don’t currently possess. Thus, if you hear someone speak about protecting what they have, catalog it for later use. At the appropriate time, make a comparison to a situation in which they lose something they have. Then, create a worse condition scenario than the first one. After that, offer your solution as the savior of their woes. By initially making comparisons to a bad situation and one that’s worse, your best-case offering will appear more pleasing, and more likely to be accepted.

 

Anchoring

Anchoring occurs when you set someone’s initial point of perspective. Thus, if someone said your price was too high, you might ask, compared to what? In their response would be the answer to what they were comparing your price. And there’d be gold in their reply. Because they will have given you their anchoring point about why they thought your price was high.

At that point, you’ll have a momentary advantage in the negotiation. That advantage will be in the form of thoughts, ideas, and positions from which to find a medium point. You might consider evoking some of the points you gathered while listening to the tensions and apprehensions that individual had in the past. Or, if warranted, you might instead employ something from the positive aspects of which they spoke.

The point is, you should seek to anchor that person’s perspective to the point that will best serve your purpose. In theory, that would be a position that was best for both of you. That would allow the perception of your point to become embraced as being more solvable to the challenge at hand. And that would mean your anchoring point would become accepted as an influencer to the proceeding that follows from there. Anchoring is a powerful tool when it comes to influencing someone’s views. Use it adroitly, and you’ll enhance your negotiation efforts.

 

Storytelling

The stories you tell are another factor that’ll serve as your ally when making comparisons in a negotiation. A well-told story injected into the conversation at the right time, can instantly alter someone’s position and the perspective they have about a situation. To tell a good story, consider the following components.

 

1. When telling a person how he can acquire a goal that you see as obtainable, the story should have easily recognized components that the person perceives as being real, and not too difficult to achieve. Allow him to see himself bursting with new pride in the imagery of his new acquisition.

 

2. Paint the mental picture you project with details you gleaned during the listening part of your interaction. Thus, if the person spoke about a dire time when he missed the chance to improve or maintain a situation, due to moving slowly, you might paint the image of someone being overly deliberate and missing an opportunity. Let him draw his conclusion between that situation and the position that he’s currently in.

 

3. The timing and pace you tell a story will determine its impact. Therefore, to enhance the effect, recite your story’s depiction at a pace that’s easy to follow and consume. While doing so, observe the body language displayed by the person listening to it. In particular, note when they close their eyes, turn or drop their head, or show a momentary frown, as you mention what they may lose if they don’t act fast enough. The body language gestures mentioned will indicate a fear of loss. Cues such as those will announce the impact your story is having on that individual.

 

Reflection

First, realize that during your interactions with other people, you’re negotiating. And in a negotiation, you move someone’s perspective by the comparisons you make and the way you position those comparisons. Therefore, if you wish to win more negotiations when using comparisons, seek to evoke the level of emotions, positive or negative, in which you touch someone’s heart. Following these guidelines will allow you to do just that. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Comparisons #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

“The lack of understanding of a shoulder shrug can leave hidden secrets concealed.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click to get the book!

 

“These Are The Best Hidden Secrets About Shoulder Shrugs”

 

“Were you involved with those other people that ransacked Mr. Smith’s store?” No was the answer to the question. “Then why did some of the people that confessed say you were there?” I don’t know, was his response as he shrugged one shoulder. “You’re not telling the truth! Don’t try to hide your secrets. I can tell when you’re lying!” I’m telling you the truth was the statement made as he displayed a double shoulder shrug.

You might wonder why it’s so important to understand the meaning of shoulder shrugs. And the answer is, they unlock secrets into the thoughts occurring in the person emitting them. Because to possess a lack of meaning about shoulder shrugs is to have a lack of insight into the person with whom you’re communicating. In essence, the person is signaling the need to protect himself. From what is the answer you should seek. Thus, the better you become at interpreting nonverbal signals that shrugs offer, the more able you’ll be at understanding the secrets that others attempt to conceal from you, and why they do so.

 

Analysis

To better understand the meaning of a shoulder shrug, you must observe what’s occurring when the action happens. That’s because people emit shrugs based on how they feel at a specific moment. And the gestures occur to secure one’s inner self, their emotional state of mind, or to add additional meaning to what they’re saying.

When displaying a shrug, to add additional meaning to one’s words, the act can become exhibited to convince you of a lie they’re telling, or an attempt to enhance the believability of their truth. And that’s the reason it’s so important to observe when the gesture occurs.

If someone senses that you may be in the process of uncovering their lie, they may become more defensive, which might cause them to shrug both shoulders. The meaning of that act, in that situation, would be an effort to make a smaller target of themselves. That’s something everyone instinctively does when they’re attempting to protect themselves. And that act would be the attempt to conceal the lie flowing from the mouth. Someone’s head might also become tucked to protect the throat better.

You can detect when a lie versus frustration is causing a shrug by the degree that one tucks their chin to protect their throat. As an example, when someone attempts to convince you of their truth, and they emit a shoulder shrug, they may do so with more of their throat exposed. They’re stating through the throat-exposing gesture that they want you to believe their words and accept them as the truth, as they think it to be.

When accessing the meaning of shrugs, keep in mind that the truth is what someone believes it is. Thus, someone may display a signal contrary to what’s above per them telling the truth versus a lie. That means, they may expose the throat to protect a lie because they don’t believe they’re lying. Hence, it can become complicated to discern without a doubt that someone is displaying a gesture per how you perceive it. So, when you’re unsure of a gesture’s meaning, note when it occurs at other times during a conversation.

Single vs. Double Shrugs

• Single shrug – A single shrug can be a softer form of communication, but you should note what it’s accompanied by when comparing it to a double shrug. As an example, if someone cocks their head to one side while lifting the opposite shoulder, you might assume the person is inwardly confused. Because that gesture is not natural. Try it, and you’ll better understand what I mean. Tilt your head to the right and lift your left shoulder. It feels acquired, doesn’t it? In general, a single shrug can denote the perception of being in a less threatening environment than what a double shrug might indicate.

 

• Double shrug – A double shrug, in most cases, is a more substantial commitment to what the person said. Which means, he’s most likely in more of a protective state. That could also imply that you’re closer to uncovering secrets that he’s trying to withhold from you.

Remember, shoulder shrugs are a form of protection. They make a smaller target of one’s body. Therefore, when you see a double shrug after you’ve observed multiple single shrugs, take note of it. You’re more than likely getting close to uncovering something that’s hidden.

Validating Shrugs

To validate the meaning of someone’s shrugs, ask questions that gradually irritate them. By ‘turning up the heat,’ you’ll sense how exposed they feel by the line of questions you’re posing. While asking what you believe to be non-threatening questions, observe when, or if, shrugs occur. One point to note is when shrugs arise based on what you expect. Another point is when they don’t ensue when you expect them to happen. The purpose of that observation is to attune your perception of that person’s behavior. In both cases, you’ll gain information to compare someone’s actions later. And that’s the process that you can engage in to validate the meaning that someone gives to their shrugs.

 

Reflection

Shoulder shrugs can send different signals, depending on the sender of the act. But if you establish the meaning someone gives to their shrugs, you’ll gain insight into what the shrug means to them. Once you have that insight, you’ll have the key to understanding when they might be lying, and when they may be telling the truth. And that will give you more understanding into why and what secrets they’re attempting to conceal.

I state that you may have that insight, which implies you may not. That’s because there’s no science to confirm the exactness of someone’s shrug that states that everyone performs the gesture in the same manner in the same situation. Nevertheless, if you employ the guidelines mentioned, you’ll have a higher perspective about the silent shoulder shrug signals people are sending when you’re communicating with them. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/