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“Beware Of The Concealed Danger In Friends” – Negotiation Insight

“Beware of the concealed danger that resides in friends. If perceived too late, you may not be able to avoid danger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)    Click to get the book!

 

“Beware Of The Concealed Danger In Friends”

 

When I was 11 years old, I got into trouble with the law. My friends told me they were going to commit a harmless act, and afterward, we’d have a few quarters. I asked if our actions would hurt anyone. They said no, and so I went along with them. Little did I know that decision had just placed me in danger.

How many times have you followed the suggestions or requests of friends only later to discover that they’re behest had placed you in danger? If you’d like to avoid such calamities in your future, observe the following.

 

Style Versus Substance

Some friends have a particular style about their mannerisms. Their style, swagger, and sense of confidence can sway you more than the substance of what they’re saying. Take note when you find yourself moved by someone’s style over their content. More than likely, you’re moved to action based on their body language and nonverbal cues versus the logic of what they’re stating. Take a moment to reflect on what’s occurring before you commit or engage in an action that you may later regret.

Circular

You’re not the only one that can go astray by following your friend’s advice or suggestions. Your friends can lose their credibility by following your edicts too. And that would be due to requests that later proved to be unfounded, unwise, or worse, foolish.

Thus, as you or they mind the words that either speak, both of you must be mindful of where they may lead. Therefore, if the statements don’t support your future position, don’t state them. And, if you sense that danger may lay ahead, create a quick-response plan to deal with the fallout.

Truth be known, you should already have thoughts prepared ahead of time of how you’ll respond in certain situations. You should also have a mental picture of how you’ll explain your position. The purpose of this would be to help you correct the errant actions that might occur due to incorrect thinking. Since you and your friends can harm one another based on your acts, you should always be prepared to defend yourself and them by thinking before you act.

Images

He saw a box of peanut brownie biscuits. Immediately he smiled as he imagined how wonderful they’d taste. So he bought them. And when he bit into the first bar, a frown creased his face. The taste did not meet with his approval. He wondered why he’d bought them and muttered, “I should have known better.”

Friends create images of outcomes when you interact with them. And that’s another reason you should be mindful of those that you accept into your friend category. They’ll have sway over your perception, which will influence your opinion and perspective about things.

It’s always best that you’re aware of the image your thoughts create. Those images will move you to adopt an action faster or slower based on the degree they resonate with you. And that will set you on one path versus another.

Compromising Positions

She wanted to be a good friend. So, since she was the president, she attempted to get her friend on the board. The reality was, the committee had already voted, no, to accepting her friend. But her obligation to her friend placed her in a position to contest the committee’s vote. Thus, she placed a higher priority on appeasing her friend than the members of the organization she was supposed to be supporting.

That’s the type of position you can find yourself in when a friend is insistent in placing you in a dangerous situation due to their request or demand for what they want from you. And that’s yet another reason that you must be extremely cautious of toxic relationships. They can place you in compromising positions, which will emotionally tear you between what’s right and what they want you to do right now.

When you’re confronted by a friend that becomes assertive about you engaging in an action that compromises your values, consider it time to exit that friendship. You’ll save yourself the damage of being placed in future danger.

Your Future

No matter who you are, you possess seeds of greatness. But those seeds will only blossom into the fullness of their potential if you’re alert to whom you allow into your life’s garden. By minding your friends, you can increase the probability of those seeds delivering the fullness of their intent. And your future days will be better than the ones that have occurred in the past.

Reflection

A snake’s poisonous bite affects your body. And like the poison delivered by a snake, a small request made by a friend can alter your thinking, and place you in danger. And that’s something that you should always seek to avoid.

Once you control to whom you accept friendship and the information that flows from them, you’ll be able to control better the thoughts that pass through you. That will allow you to engage in better decision-making processes. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Good Negotiators Know How To Avoid Compromise Danger” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“How you compromise today impacts tomorrow’s opportunities.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

 

“Good Negotiators Know How To Avoid Compromise Danger”

 

He wanted the opposing negotiator to perceive him as possessing an amiable demeanor. So, he smiled a lot and made one concession after another in the opening phase of the negotiation. He even offered several compromises that were not to his favor without a request to do so. Little did he realize the danger that he was creating for himself. But he’d sure find out later.

Making concessions and compromises is an act that negotiators must engage in during a negotiation. And, since there are many ways to compromise during such times, if you don’t do it correctly, you place the favorability of a successful negotiation outcome for yourself in danger.

The following are factors to be aware of, and in some cases, concern yourself about before making a concession. Because, the manner you do so, signals how you might compromise your position throughout the rest of the negotiation.

 

Planning Stage

During the planning stage of the negotiation, assess how you’ll use concessions to compromise the other negotiator’s position. That means you should view compromises and concessions as a tactic, one that you employ strategically. To do that, assess where choke points might occur in the negotiation, based on potential points of contention. In your assessment, evaluate what you can offer to move him favorably away from the point of dispute. And estimate if you’ll use a concession or compromise to enhance your position. Also, consider what you’re willing to forgo to entice that move.

 

Factors

When you’re in a negotiation, be aware of the following factors.

  • What the other negotiator’ really’ wants from you – It may be different from what he states.
  • Why he’s seeking what he wants from you – You may be a pawn used as leverage to get his real target to compromise.
  • Who else might he be talking with to obtain the outcome he’s after – Always attempt to know who’s not at the negotiation table – they might be your competitor.
  • What timeframe he’s dealing with – Time is a potent weapon in a negotiation.
  • What he might do as time begins to run out – Question if he might become irrational – If so, he may become more open to compromise.

And, depending on your negotiation circumstances, you should create additional factors that may sway the negotiation. Doing so will allow you to anticipate the actions that your opposition might engage in to acquire the outcome he’s seeking from the negotiation. It will also give you a guideline about when and how to make concessions. And that insight can be priceless. Thus, always attempt to understand the full story of what’s occurring in your opponent’s environment. And, remember that he’ll be making the same assessment about you.

 

Compromise vs. Concession Label

While some negotiators view making concessions as a form of compromise, you can commit to one without engaging the other, while giving the appearance that both are the same. As an example, if two negotiators were a $1,000 apart and one said to the other, let’s compromise and split the difference. At that point, he’s stating that he’s willing to concede $500 (i.e., 1,000 divided by 2). While the negotiator making the offer may view that as a concession, depending on your anticipation of what he might ask for later, label his proposal a concession or compromise. Do that based on the label that’ll serve you best in the negotiation. Because, he may attempt to say later that he made a concession or compromise, whichever phraseology would be beneficial to his position, and then ask you to indulge him by you offering one.

Whether you compromise or concede points in the negotiation may sound like a point without a difference. But the point of difference lies in how a smart negotiator may use the perceptional difference to advantage his position. The point is, be mindful of how you compromise or concede, and how it’s perceived when you and the other negotiator exchange positions. The label you apply to your actions and the way you do so sets the tone for what will follow.

 

Ploys (hook, story, offer)

Ploys are something else to concern yourself with related to compromise requests. You or the other negotiator may use them at strategical points in the negotiation. You can determine their effectiveness by how dire one’s position is when they’re employed, and the outcome they produce.

Hook

The other negotiator says to you, ‘this is going to make you a star. So many people will be envious of you.’ He’ll make statements such as those to orientate your thoughts to the future. The intent is to emotionally tie you to the feeling you’ll experience once you’ve acquired his offer. Be alert – it’s the set-up for what’s to follow.

 

Story

The story embellishes the hook. It’ll have a variance like, “we’re almost out of this. Someone else said they’d be right down, but you’re here right now. So, if you want it, it’s yours.” The implication being, you must act quickly. Be mindful of the manipulation attempt made to motivate you to act quickly.

 

Offer

The dialogue may go something like, ‘… so, you’re taking my offer, right? No! You’re crazy if you don’t accept this deal! It’s the best one you’ll get. And if you don’t take it, your competition will snap it up. And he’ll be the one getting all of the accolades that would have been yours. So, you better grab it quickly before I change my mind.”

 

Suffice it to say, when the hook is strong, you become more susceptible to compromise. Thus, be aware of how you feel when you hear a story that attempts to move you to accept an offer emotionally. At that point, you’ve been set-up passionately and exposed to the concession request that’ll follow.

 

Restraint

In every negotiation, negotiators must be attentive to restraining themselves. Sometimes an offered deal appears so appealing that inexperienced negotiators jump at the offer only to discover later that they could have done better. Don’t let that happen to you. Always keep your wits and emotions in check in a negotiation.

 

Reflection

As a negotiator, always be aware when you may be pushing a rope uphill. That means there will be times when a deal can’t occur due to reasons beyond your control. Thus, no matter how much you compromise, you’ll only get further away from the next deal you negotiate with that person or entity. So, to avoid danger from compromise, understand how, when, and why you make concessions. And be alert to the earlier mentioning. Combining all the variables mentioned will make you a better negotiator. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Look – This Is What Containment Is Like In A Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Containment can be good, depending on who’s containing whom.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click to get the book!

 

“Look – This Is What Containment Is Like In A Negotiation”

 

He muttered softly aloud, “I feel restricted. I can’t maneuver nor implement the negotiation strategies that I’d planned to use. He’s keeping me contained within boundaries of which I was unaware.”

Since the time you were in your mother’s womb, you’ve fought containment. And containment continues to occur in many aspects of your life today. Sometimes containment is favorable, and sometimes it can be unfitting. Thus, when it’s in your favor, it provides shelter from harm. But if you’re the one contained in a negotiation, it can be very detrimental to your negotiation position. Nevertheless, you and the other negotiator engage in a constant dance throughout the talks to see who’ll come out on top of the containment battle.

While containment can be useful, it can be constraining in a negotiation. And that may not necessarily help your negotiation efforts. What follows are insights about how containment occurs and why it can be so devastating.

 

Assumptions

You discover your negotiation efforts are restricted. Now, what do you do? Just because it’s occurring doesn’t mean you have to let it continue. That means, be mentally flexible with your thoughts and acceptance of new ideas while attempting to free yourself from containment.

By keeping an open mind, you open the doorway through which new ideas may enter. And if allowed life, you never know where that idea may take you. The end of the path may be freedom from containment. Now, let’s switch perspectives.

Sometimes, the caveat swallows the premise because you’re too affixed to the latter. Say what? That means, never close your mind to a warning because you believe it’s impossible. You may receive intuitive signals that something’s not right, situations closing in, etc. If there’s a probability of that occurring and you’re sensing it, based on the effects it might have on you, prepare to challenge a premise. The point is when negotiating, always be willing to reassess your position and perspective. Life is an ever-changing occurrence, and so it is when you negotiate.

 

Mind Control

Have you ever had your fortune told by a carnival fortune-teller? She looks for signs on your person to detect insights about you. As an example, if she observed that you were poorly dressed, she may have stated that she sensed you were dealing with challenging times. If viewing a faint lightness around your ring finger, she may have said that she sensed that you’d had some recent personal issues with a loved one, etc. After she made a few pronouncements that you agreed were accurate, you became more prone to accepting new assessments she made about your future.

A good negotiator uses some of the same tactics to endear himself to get you to bond with him. He knows, the more you bond with him, the more likely you are to agree and accept his proposals.

There’s another influencing factor at work, too. It’s called consistency. And it plays with your emotions. It does so when you think, well, she’s right about most things discussed so far, I might as well accept this. Don’t do that! Don’t let expectations get ahead of reality. Be aware of what’s moving you to action and where it’s leading. Being unaware can prove to be a trap from which it becomes difficult to extract yourself.

 

Containment

Speaking of mind control, be careful of what you believe. When negotiating, a good negotiator knows it’s easier to move her opposition to her point by getting him to agree with something he already believes. Thus, when she links a thought that he agrees with to her offer, he’s more apt to acknowledge and accept her proposal. And that’s why you should be aware of how someone can turn your beliefs against you.

Once you embrace an assumption as the truth, and one you believe in, you become prone to accepting other similar premises. Psychologists state that’s due to the consistency factor. Everyone wants to maintain consistency in what they’ve said or done in the past. Thus, they find inner conflict when they rebel against what was their current beliefs.

 

Hidden Commands

Have you ever stopped to think about the number of hidden commands you encounter every day? A good negotiator uses hidden or embedded commands frequently in a negotiation. It’s part of his containment strategy.

Look, buy, like, this is, are suggestive psychological words intended to move you to action. I used several of those words in the title of this commentary. And you may not be aware of their effect unless you’re mindful of the impact they’re having on you at the moment. To assure that they don’t manipulate you when you hear them, note when you hear them. Then, be prepared to confront their intent. By doing that, you’ll decrease the probability that you’ll be contained in an unwanted position by your counterpart.

 

Reflection

In every negotiation, seek to give the other negotiator the feeling that she earned the concessions she received. She’ll respect you for that and value what she obtained with her talents versus the perception of a gift you gave her.

Therefore, when she attempts to tie you to her emotionally, understand that it’s another way for her to contain the emotions you have during the negotiation. And, by being mindful of containment throughout the negotiation, you can better dodge the pitfalls that might otherwise occur. That will allow you to be more successful in your negotiation efforts. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com

 

 

 

#containment #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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“These Are The Best Hidden Secrets About Shoulder Shrugs” – Negotiation Insight

“The lack of understanding of a shoulder shrug can leave hidden secrets concealed.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click to get the book!

 

“These Are The Best Hidden Secrets About Shoulder Shrugs”

 

“Were you involved with those other people that ransacked Mr. Smith’s store?” No was the answer to the question. “Then why did some of the people that confessed say you were there?” I don’t know, was his response as he shrugged one shoulder. “You’re not telling the truth! Don’t try to hide your secrets. I can tell when you’re lying!” I’m telling you the truth was the statement made as he displayed a double shoulder shrug.

You might wonder why it’s so important to understand the meaning of shoulder shrugs. And the answer is, they unlock secrets into the thoughts occurring in the person emitting them. Because to possess a lack of meaning about shoulder shrugs is to have a lack of insight into the person with whom you’re communicating. In essence, the person is signaling the need to protect himself. From what is the answer you should seek. Thus, the better you become at interpreting nonverbal signals that shrugs offer, the more able you’ll be at understanding the secrets that others attempt to conceal from you, and why they do so.

 

Analysis

To better understand the meaning of a shoulder shrug, you must observe what’s occurring when the action happens. That’s because people emit shrugs based on how they feel at a specific moment. And the gestures occur to secure one’s inner self, their emotional state of mind, or to add additional meaning to what they’re saying.

When displaying a shrug, to add additional meaning to one’s words, the act can become exhibited to convince you of a lie they’re telling, or an attempt to enhance the believability of their truth. And that’s the reason it’s so important to observe when the gesture occurs.

If someone senses that you may be in the process of uncovering their lie, they may become more defensive, which might cause them to shrug both shoulders. The meaning of that act, in that situation, would be an effort to make a smaller target of themselves. That’s something everyone instinctively does when they’re attempting to protect themselves. And that act would be the attempt to conceal the lie flowing from the mouth. Someone’s head might also become tucked to protect the throat better.

You can detect when a lie versus frustration is causing a shrug by the degree that one tucks their chin to protect their throat. As an example, when someone attempts to convince you of their truth, and they emit a shoulder shrug, they may do so with more of their throat exposed. They’re stating through the throat-exposing gesture that they want you to believe their words and accept them as the truth, as they think it to be.

When accessing the meaning of shrugs, keep in mind that the truth is what someone believes it is. Thus, someone may display a signal contrary to what’s above per them telling the truth versus a lie. That means, they may expose the throat to protect a lie because they don’t believe they’re lying. Hence, it can become complicated to discern without a doubt that someone is displaying a gesture per how you perceive it. So, when you’re unsure of a gesture’s meaning, note when it occurs at other times during a conversation.

Single vs. Double Shrugs

  • Single shrug – A single shrug can be a softer form of communication, but you should note what it’s accompanied by when comparing it to a double shrug. As an example, if someone cocks their head to one side while lifting the opposite shoulder, you might assume the person is inwardly confused. Because that gesture is not natural. Try it, and you’ll better understand what I mean. Tilt your head to the right and lift your left shoulder. It feels acquired, doesn’t it? In general, a single shrug can denote the perception of being in a less threatening environment than what a double shrug might indicate.

 

  • Double shrug – A double shrug, in most cases, is a more substantial commitment to what the person said. Which means, he’s most likely in more of a protective state. That could also imply that you’re closer to uncovering secrets that he’s trying to withhold from you.

Remember, shoulder shrugs are a form of protection. They make a smaller target of one’s body. Therefore, when you see a double shrug after you’ve observed multiple single shrugs, take note of it. You’re more than likely getting close to uncovering something that’s hidden.

Validating Shrugs

To validate the meaning of someone’s shrugs, ask questions that gradually irritate them. By ‘turning up the heat,’ you’ll sense how exposed they feel by the line of questions you’re posing. While asking what you believe to be non-threatening questions, observe when, or if, shrugs occur. One point to note is when shrugs arise based on what you expect. Another point is when they don’t ensue when you expect them to happen. The purpose of that observation is to attune your perception of that person’s behavior. In both cases, you’ll gain information to compare someone’s actions later. And that’s the process that you can engage in to validate the meaning that someone gives to their shrugs.

 

Reflection

Shoulder shrugs can send different signals, depending on the sender of the act. But if you establish the meaning someone gives to their shrugs, you’ll gain insight into what the shrug means to them. Once you have that insight, you’ll have the key to understanding when they might be lying, and when they may be telling the truth. And that will give you more understanding into why and what secrets they’re attempting to conceal.

I state that you may have that insight, which implies you may not. That’s because there’s no science to confirm the exactness of someone’s shrug that states that everyone performs the gesture in the same manner in the same situation. Nevertheless, if you employ the guidelines mentioned, you’ll have a higher perspective about the silent shoulder shrug signals people are sending when you’re communicating with them. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“Negotiator – To Be More Amazing Turn The Tables On Negative Emotions “ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Watch the meanings you give to events. They impact the perception of your actions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

“Negotiator – To Be More Amazing Turn The Tables On Negative Emotions “

If he’d been a cartoon character, steam might have been bursting from his ears. He muttered under his breath, “that S.O.B. will not get away with that.” The S.O.B. that he was referring to was the other negotiator, who had stoked the negative emotions of our steamer. And the steamer swore he’d turn the tables on his adversary.

Have you been in a situation where the opposing negotiator did something that sent your emotions into negative territory? We’ve all been there at one point in a negotiation. But what good did that serve? It only upset you.

If you’d like to discover how to confront emotions better and increase your negotiation outcomes, consider the following before and during your negotiation.

 

Causes of Distress

Most emotions stem from people seeking and not achieving either more sex, money or good health. If you just thought, I know that. My question is, as a negotiator, do you consider the impact that may have on a negotiation?

Depending upon whom you’re negotiating with, one aspect of those variables may be more important than another. Thus, if you’re not aware of what’s essential to your negotiation counterpart, you might experience negative emotions when you can’t acquire what you seek.

The lesson at this point is since there are three points from which negative emotions can stem, know which one is prominent in the mind of those with whom you negotiate. Having that insight going into a session will enhance the foresight of its outcome.

 

In Comparison

Is that the best you can do? Many negotiators have heard that question during a negotiation. Some hagglers become irate at it, especially when they think they’ve made their best offer. Smart negotiators divorce their emotions from the question. They know, no matter how good the offer may appear, if untested, they’d never know if there was a better one. Thus, they’ll test the proposition by asking if it’s the best one the other negotiator has.

So, when someone asks for a better deal, don’t become upset. Possessing uncontrolled emotions won’t serve you. Instead, ask what is meant by ‘a better deal.’ The opposing negotiator may have something in mind that you’d not considered. Thus, if you don’t ask the question about what he’s seeking or what he’s comparing your offer to, you could be negotiating against yourself. Therefore, don’t respond to his question before knowing his intent.

 

Focus

It’s a known fact that what you focus on commands your attention. Thus, to control negative emotions, you should monitor the views, thoughts, and opinions from others that you allow to come into your sphere. As an example, I use to believe I could control things that occurred in my environment. That meant I could control the news I watched, the pros and cons of those possessing opposing opinions, etc. But I came to realize that some of those thoughts crept into my subconscious mind without me realizing they’d done so. Thus, I began to act in ways that didn’t serve some of the goals I’d established. I came to realize that carrying the burden of some thoughts shaded my perspective and jaded my thought process during negotiations.

A peer associate who lives in Australia, Tanja Windegger, a Ph.D. candidate, suggested that I stop watching the news. She implied that it might be causing me unknowing stress. She further stated, “anxiety interferes with the optimal activity of our immune system.” Translation, when your immune system becomes compromised, so does your emotional state of mind and health.

The point is, be aware of what motivates your actions. And to what degree your activities align with the outcomes you seek. Even if you let your guard down for a moment, negative thoughts may sneak attack your mind. And they may do so without you being aware that an invasion has begun.

 

Mixed Messages

How well do you work with mixed messages? When there’s a conflict in messaging (e.g., do this – no, do that), or worse outright lies, it can create a lack of action due to not knowing what to do. The negativity can become amplified when you’re the subordinate and your superior commands you to engage in activities that cross your perspective of what’s right and wrong. That can be demoralizing and debilitating. And the latter can be the gateway that leads to unwanted adventures when you become overwhelmed by mixed messages that reside within your mind. To control your thoughts, control the meaning you assign to the events that occur to you, and be mindful of what comes into your thought process.

 

How You Steward

People may not know how you feel, but they gain insight into what you’re experiencing based on how you act. And of course, you know how you think, which shows in your actions. Thus, another reason you should watch the meanings you give to events. Because they impact the perception of your actions.

 

Reflection

Don’t view the truth as an adversary. Instead, embrace it. The only way to do that is to know what it means to you and the other negotiator. Not until then will you know what you’re dealing with, and from there, how to control your emotions. Everyone can lose their cool and become heated during a negotiation. But the more you’re aware of what triggers your feelings, and those of the other negotiator, the better you can control the negotiation. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Emotions #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Are You Missing What Is Right In Front Of Your” – Negotiation Insight

“To prevent missing what’s in front of you, look carefully at what you’re viewing.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

 “Are You Missing What Is Right In Front Of Your”

 

I asked several people to finish the question in the title of this article. Are you missing what is right in front of your? Some people completed the question by saying, eyes – are you missing what is right in front of your eyes? Other people saw it as, ‘to be continued’ (i.e., fill in the blank).

In reality, the title was, ‘are you missing what is right in front of you,’- not, what is right in front of your. By way of explanation, I wrote, ‘your,’ instead of ‘you.’ And that’s how the title came about. And that change altered the perception of the article’s content. Thus, a slight change in perspective can alter how you see what you’re missing.

Continue, and you’ll discover how you can become more aware of your environment and why that’s beneficial to you.

If something is fictitious, does that mean it doesn’t contain facts? It’s a question to ponder. Because sometimes, we may observe something that is literally in front of us, and yet we miss it. In some cases, what we miss are opportunities. And some of those opportunities may have exposed your life to different paths than the one you’re on. That means what you may be missing can impact your experiences more than you think.

 

Intuition

Have you looked for something, and didn’t see it? Then, upon reinspection, you realized that it was right in front of you. You saw it the first time, but you didn’t perceive it. Intuition may have signaled you to look again because you knew what you sought was always in the place that you were viewing. Intuition and perception were at work when you missed it the first time, and when you saw it the second time.

When I think of intuition, I consider it from two perspectives. One, listen to, and seek, the voice of peace and calm, even when it’s in chaos. And two, attempt to feel, hear and understand what’s occurring around you. With that simple premise, I’m able to ignite the focus of my mind, which produces a clearer picture of my environment. I give you that insight from which you can heighten your clarity. By doing that, you can gain greater awareness of how you can better interpret your surroundings.

 

Missing

There are times when you miss what’s in front of you because you’re looking too fast. In looking too quickly, you misperceive what you see, or you just miss it, period.

Another cause for lack of perception is the belief you possess. At one point in your life, you may not have thought that fire would burn you. Thus, you may have touched the flame to sense the sensation of the burn. By doing so, you validated the heat that stemmed from it. You also acquired a greater appreciation for fire and the degree of pain you’d experience if you got too close to it. That also led you to have more respect for it. And that was the benefit of the experience and seeing what was in front of you. The lesson derived from that is, the more you observe, the more you can improve your life. Be aware of your environment and what’s in it.

 

Focus

One day my Internet connection went down. I performed a simple diagnosis to identify and correct the problem. While observing the process underway to fix it, a message stated, “verifying that the connectivity problem is resolved.” At first, all I saw was, “problem is resolved.” After further scrutiny, I noticed the full message – “verifying that the connectivity problem is resolved.” The information that followed indicated the problem could not be corrected, and a different set of instructions sent me down another path.

After that, I asked myself why I initially just saw “problem resolved.” The answer I came to was, that’s the outcome I sought. Thus that’s all I was looking for and wanted to see.

How many times do you observe yourself going through the same process – wanting something to be true so much that you miss the real message that’s right in front of you? Psychologically speaking, be aware of how you think in different situations, along with what causes you to alter your thought process. Doing that will allow you to not only understand your thought process, it will also open your mind to gathering greater insight about your environment.

 

Using Data

During the COVID-19 pandemic, in the U.S., potential deaths were initially estimated to be as high as 240 thousand. Then, the leaders of the country revised that to 50 to 75 thousand possible deaths. What occurred that caused the authorities to reassess its estimate? Data is the answer to that question. Additional data, and it’s analyzation, led to the revised estimate. So what does that mean for you?

With more data, you have more information from which to conclude. That means you don’t have to guess at what might be in front of you. You can use empirical data to see and know the unseen and unknown. And that will allow you to swat away the blind spots of unnecessary things, which will enable you to understand and see everything more clearly.

 

Reflection

Life moves fast, and sometimes you don’t get a clear view. Some people want to change their life, and others need to change their life. Which one are you? Regardless, if you wish to change your life for the better, pay more attention to what may be in front of you. By being more observant of your environment, you’ll be on a better path in life, and you’ll be better prepared to address more opportunities. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Do Not Let The Perception Of ‘Fair’ Blow Your Mind” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Perception becomes a reality when you accept as reality what you perceive.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click to get the book!

 

“Do Not Let The Perception Of ‘Fair’ Blow Your Mind”

 

“We’ve been at this for a while. My offer is a good one. And it’s fair. What do you think? Let’s shake on it and close the deal.” That’s what one negotiator said to the other after they’d engaged in a lengthy negotiation.

Using the word, fair, was how that negotiator had altered the mental perception of the person with whom he was negotiating. And the opposition never realized how subliminally that negotiator had created the perception of fairness, just by using the word, fair.

Don’t allow someone to blow your mind subliminally. To guard against it, raise your guard the moment someone says, let’s be fair. Better yet, beat them to the point by subliminally shaping their perception before they have the opportunity to do that to you. And here’s how to do just that.

 

Perception

Perception becomes a reality when you accept as reality what you perceive. When a negotiator suggests that you and she address a negotiation by being fair, what she’s really doing is suggesting that you be reasonable and open-minded. Of course, the definition of reasonableness and open-mindedness is open to interpretation.

Thus, the message she’s implanting in your subconscious is, be fair-minded about the offers I make. From which the implied message is, and I’ll be fair with you. That suggestion is very powerful, which is why you should be on guard when you hear it. If you lower your guard by not exploring what that means, you could be unknowingly submitting mental control to her. And that submission could be prevalent and dangerous for you throughout the negotiation.

 

Subliminal Messaging

Subliminal messaging was first delved into back in the 1800s. But the exploration of it didn’t gain popularity until the 1950s. The principle upon which it works is associated with how you relate suggested thoughts to the knowledge you already possess. Those suggestions can occur subliminally, which means you’re not aware of them at your conscious state of mind. Thus, if you experience a sensation that recalls a past occurrence, you may become stimulated to engage in a thought process that leads you to a particular action.

Everyone receives subliminal messages in their daily activities. It can be in the form of something you smell, eat, or drink. And, it can also be in the pronouncement of a particular word, or something you see. The point is, subliminal messages continuously bombard you. And for the most part, you’re unaware of them, although you act on some of them.

That’s the reason why you can quickly become subliminally manipulated when someone asks you to be fair. The request can conjure up righteousness, amenability, and respect for a process. The hidden message beneath the appeal is, why would you be mean and unlike civil individuals. And if you’re not on guard, you’ll fall to the behest of the requester. Once a negotiator has your mind directed on being fair, they can recall your commitment to it when you haggle over a point.

 

Combating Appearance of Fairness

There are two ways to address the speer of fairness. One is to preempt its use by the other negotiator against you. To do that, at the onset of the negotiation, be the one to pose the question first about being fair. As an example, you can say, I look forward to a negotiation that, in the end, both of us will be glad to have partaken. Because I’m going to be fair and I know you will be fair-minded too, right? Make sure you get an agreeable answer. That will be the opening volley upon which you’ll be able to layer additional commitments as you go deeper into the negotiation.

The other way to address the fairness issue is to establish boundaries by defining what being fair will look like throughout the negotiation. While this should be done anyway, in the second aspect of using it, you’d define fairness in your planning stage. And, you should attempt to subliminally implant that thought in the mind of the other negotiator.

As an example, during an initial conversation, discuss how you and the other negotiator will engage in the negotiation. You might say, I sense that this is going to be a fair negotiation. Do you have the same sensation? If your counterpart is hesitant in replying, explore why she might have reservations. It’s always best to expose apprehension and her thoughts as soon as you discover she may be apprehensive about fairness. Once you have her agreement, and you know the two of you share the same perspective, in every conversation you have after that, casually invoke the thought of fairness into the discussion. The more she hears, fair, the deeper that thought will become ingrained in her mind.

 

Reflection

Many things can blow your mind in a negotiation. Don’t let the perception of not being a fair negotiator be one of them. To insulate yourself from that happening, either set the pace by issuing the fairness request first, or guard against the other negotiator using it against you. On second thought, play both sides of that field. Be the first to issue the request and defend against its use on you. You’ll be double protected. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Negotiations Women In Business

“Body Language Secrets – How To Be Successful On Webinars”

“When thoughts are hidden, reading body language can reveal them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“Body Language Secrets – How To Be Successful On Webinars”

 

‘While I was watching him on the Webinar, I kept sensing that he was keeping secrets from us. I didn’t know it, but it was his body language that was signaling me.’ That’s what a person said when talking with members in his group after they’d exited a web conference.

With more people meeting via Webinars, it’s more imperative that you’re able to read body language. Doing so allows you to uncover secrets that people attempt to conceal. And uncovering those secrets will lead you to more successful outcomes.

The following are insights about how you can read the body language and nonverbal cues of those you interact with on Webinars.

 

Mirroring

There are multiple ways to gather information and control someone through mirroring during a web conference.

  • Making the same gestures – Most people are aware that mimicking someone’s body language gestures will cause them to psychologically bond with you. Once they do, stop imitating them and initiate your actions. If they begin to mimic you, you’ll be subliminally controlling them for as long as they replicate your effects.

 

  • Repeating their last few words – Another way to bond with someone is to repeat the last few words of their statement or question. On a Webinar, if someone said, ‘this is the right thing to do,’ you might say, ‘the right thing to do.’ The way you make that comment can sound like a question or statement. Thus, depending on how you wish to position yourself and the other person, you should be aware of your tonality when speaking.

The more someone senses you’re like them, the more they’ll like you. That’s due to the neurological firing that occurs in someone’s mind when they sense others like themselves. That makes them want to bond with like-minded people. For them, that process emits a sense of security.

 

Psychology

People love to feel important. And you can sense their significant degree of appreciation when they’re on a Webinar. Also, you can gain insight into their personality, plans, and how they see themselves amongst others in the group.

To gather that insight, observe how they respond or act when they or others are speaking. As an example, note when someone surprises them by asking a question or making a statement (i.e., widened eyes and mouth agape). You can also sense when they receive unexpected agreement (i.e., broad smile). These and other displays will serve as confirmation about their expressions and how they’re accepting that information.

 

Laughing

Short or small laughter versus full laughter when speaking – Laughing while speaking is a form of tension release or gaiety. It’s like a safety valve releasing stress from someone’s body or endorphins released in their brain, which makes us feel better. When someone laughs when they’re speaking, take note of it. Then, observe how they act afterward.

If the laughter was due to something funny, you could discount that it is due to stress. But, if it occurred in short bursts and followed by stammering, you can assume the person is sensing some tension. And the subject discussed will most likely be the source of the stress.

 

Shoulder Shrugging

Shoulder shrugging occurs for multiple reasons. The act can occur due to a feeling of insecurity when questioned. It can also stem from the need to enhance one’s response (e.g., what else do you want me to do – while shrugging shoulder(s)).

Just be aware that when you see this action, the person emitting it is stating that he is out of his state of comfort. If you sense it’s due to what he’s said to be inaccurate, challenge him or observe more actions to gain greater insight into why he may be making the statements he’s making. You’ll obtain continuous information about that individual. And that insight will allow you to deal with that person more effectively.

  • Single shrug – A single shrug is a milder form of communication than a double shrug. But a single shrug combined with a robust vocal signal (e.g., I said yes, stated forcibly), can be a more meaningful signal than a double shrug. So, be aware of the shoulder shrug and note the strength of that signal when accompanied by vocal cues.

 

  • Double shrug – As detailed a moment ago, a double shrug in most cases is a more substantial commitment to what’s said. But as stated, a double shrug can be surpassed by a single one when a strong vocal signal accompanies the latter. So, when assessing which one is conveying more insightful information about the person emitting the signal, note if a verbal cue accompanies the movement. That will be the deciding factor that will answer the question of which one is more prominent.

 

Hair Stroking

Stroking one’s hair can be a sign of stress or admiration. To discern what the signal might indicate, note when it occurs. If the action happens when someone praises the speaker, and she passes her fingers through her hair, she’s displaying recognition and acceptance of the appreciation. If it occurs when someone has scuffed at something she said, it may be a sign that she’s comforting herself. Note what happens with that action and other gestures to identify why it’s occurring. And take note of any alterations that may arise in her position after that. Changes that occur will inform you of the impact the rebuttal had on her.

 

Speech

  • Pace – Everyone speaks at a pace that’s comfortable for them. Thus, when observing the speed at which someone talks on a web conference, take note when they alter their speed. There will be a reason for them doing that. And that will be due to what’s occurring in their conversation.

 

  • Words – A speaker’s words gives you insight into his thoughts. Thus, it behooves you to listen to the choice of words used to represent someone’s thoughts and the way they arrange their ideas. As an example, someone can say, I disagree with you. Or, they can say, I have another or different perspective. In the first case, the person would be making a more potent declaration about their feelings. That could also leave that individual in a position to defend himself. Be mindful of the words you use on webinars and note those of others. Listen to the unspoken words of a speaker too. That will also give you insight into what they’re thinking.

 

 

Reflection

If you want greater insight into someone’s actions on Webinars, or you want to project a more substantial image, you must know how to read and cast body language gestures. Doing so will allow you to validate the actions of others. It will also allow you to create a more robust perception of yourself.

So, commit to becoming more attuned to the secrets that others emit on web conferences. You’ll have a more meaningful understanding of what they’re saying and what they’re withholding. You can use that insight to enhance your life and opportunities. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Pandemic – Here Is What Will Make You A Better Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“A crisis begins with the perception of those around you. And that’s the reason you should be mindful with whom you associate.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)     Click to get the book!

 

“Pandemic – Here Is What Will Make You A Better Negotiator”

 

We’re in the midst of a pandemic – there’s a shorter supply of life’s essentials! And people are stressing me out by their behavior. I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but if things become more drastic, I may start to do radical things! So said one friend to another.

Due to the worldwide pandemic, people are confronting a whirlwind of daunting times. And we will not rid ourselves of these times soon – because there will be health and financial repercussions for months and possibly years to come. One way to mitigate the challenging times ahead is to become a better negotiator. This article will assist you in gaining the insight to do that.

Supplies

Essential provisions will be difficult to obtain in pandemic times or times when people feel threatened. Because the natural inclination is to protect one’s self when threats are perceived, people will hoard perceived necessities. Note that I didn’t say when threats are prevalent. I draw attention to that distinction to highlight what may be calm for one person might be someone else’s perceived calamity. That means you must address people’s perspective based on how and what they’re sensing.

Thus, when it comes to securing supplies to protect your wellbeing, consider the relationships you can establish before times become more perilous. And if you’re stuck in uncertain times without having those relationships built, think of whom you can create connections with to reach your end goal. Connecting with other people that have resources is a way to use their leverage in situations.

Leverage

Regardless of dangerous times, as a negotiator, always look for opportunities to use leverage. It will enhance your negotiation efforts. There are several forms of it that you can use. And two of those are cash and other people’s resources.

The best way to implement the use of leverage is to increase the value perception of your offer. As a simple example, if you were out of your life-saving medication and had no way to retrieve it when ordinary means of transportation were unavailable, you might borrow a neighbor’s vehicle (i.e., use other people’s resources). You could do that in exchange for something the neighbor needed then or in the future. If that option was blocked, due to the neighbor having limited gas for his vehicle, you might entice the neighbor to oblige your request by offering money to purchase fuel. In both situations, you’re applying leverage to acquire the goal you seek, which is to get the life-saving medication that you desperately need.

To be more productive with the use of leverage, look first to negotiate with those in need or crisis mode. They’ll be more apt to make quicker deals with less haggling. And, as always, to enhance your efforts, know what people really want, versus what they tell you, and from whom you can get it if you don’t possess it.

Cash

If you’re accustomed to not having money on you, change that! Because, if you have currency as opposed to credit or debit cards, you’ll be able to negotiate more effectively using cash. That means you’ll be able to close some deals faster on your terms.

Defer

To improve your cash flow, consider who might agree to accept payments later, waive fees, etc. Be mindful that they will be the people to deal with first in the future. They will have shown that they’re willing to work with you in trying times. And, by working with such people, you’ll have more cash to address opportunities that will avail themselves in your present environment.

Herd Mentality

During times of crisis, people suspend their rational thought processes. And that can lead them to adopt a herd mentality. The thought they engage in during such times is, there’s safety in numbers. Thus, if everyone else is doing it, it must be the right thing to do.

While following a herd can be a stress reliever, it can also be the bane of your future success. So, to protect yourself during times of trouble, observe what the heard is doing. But be vigilant of deviations to enhance your negotiation position. A variation might be having cash on hand to strengthen your negotiation efforts with someone that had limited funds.

Thus a deviation can be any form of goods, services, or money that you use differently than others to enhance your position. It needs to be something that others perceive as valuable and, therefore, the reason they’d want it. When you’re in that position, you’ll have more leverage and influence. And that will become your optimum time to negotiate because that’ll be your height of power as a negotiator.

Stress

Stress can debilitate you in normal times. During times of crisis, it can be more devastating. And that’s the reason you have to control your perception of situations around you. Before you allow too many outside sources to determine your actions, check the validity of those sources.  And consider focusing more on the positive aspects occurring in your life.

Since you’re hardwired to address your most prominent thoughts, to improve your environment, you must use your thought process to improve how you’re viewing that environment. And that’s how, by managing your degree of stress, you can improve your negotiation efforts. If you’re mentally not burdened with worry, you’ll be able to think more clearly. And that’s what you should always strive to achieve as a negotiator – clear mind – clear thoughts.

Negotiation Timing

During times of crisis, people become skittish about what they may need in the future. Thus, they hoard what they perceive to be necessities in the present time. So, in addition to what I’ve stated about supplies, leverage, herd mentality, and stress, consider the timing in which you make offers. The more cautious people become, the more flexible they’ll become when negotiating with you. That means, if you time your propositions when people are in a heightened state of flexibility, your negotiation efforts will be met with greater success, and with less effort on your part.

Reflection

If you want to prevent being swallowed by the current pandemic, and the financial woes that some will experience after the efforts of Covid-19 have eroded, you must become a better negotiator. And now is the time to do that.

Protect yourself by utilizing the insights mentioned in this article (i.e., having cash on hand, managing stress, being observant of the herd, etc.). As a negotiator, you will become positioned better to survive and thrive when the pandemic clears. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Women In Business

THE NEW NORMAL (First in a Series)

 

Covid-19 is the elephant in the room. The underlying zeitgeist and angst that colors everything we do…or don’t do. We’re all infected with it to some degree: whether you have the virus, know someone or just worry about it. In the coming days and weeks, I’ll be posting a daily blog with my friend and colleague, Steve Lance. We’ll be offering tips and strategies that can “lower your emotional thermostat” and manage remote work more effectively. Steve is a best-selling author and Creative Director whose firm does Corporate Process Interventions. Our hope is these daily notes give you tools that can turn your elephant into, say, a zebra. (Yes, it will still be the exotic animal in the room, but it might be more manageable.) If you have helpful tips you’re using, please comment and we’ll include them in subsequent blogs. In the meantime, stay safe. Stay smart. Stay apart. Tina (and Steve)