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Category: Leadership

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Geopolitics Geopolitics and History Management

“Aid in Orgs in Meltdown – Stop Blaming the U.S.”

“Aid in Orgs in Meltdown – Stop Blaming the U.S.”

The real crisis isn’t the aid freeze—it’s decades of financial mismanagement finally catching up.

The crocodile tears are flowing, disgruntled fingers are wagging, angry voices are rebuking, and the world is supposed to sympathize with the humanitarian organizations now scrambling, floundering, and collapsing under the weight of their own incompetence. It’s natural to anguish, feel highly emotional pain, and be distraught for the poor souls caught up in conflict, abuse, abysmal refugee camps, and starving victims of war. I get that and feel it, too.

There IS a vital need for assistance. But that’s not this story’s topic.

It’s about those who “lead” these outfits I have a big beef with.

The U.S. turns off the aid faucet, and suddenly, there’s a full-blown crisis. Refugee programs are gutted. Food aid is stalled. Medical supplies are in limbo. Staff are laid off in droves. But let’s ask the hard question: Why?

Because these organizations built their entire existence on a single revenue source, they had no control over U.S. foreign aid. Instead of ensuring financial sustainability, they hijacked U.S. taxpayer money while making little effort to diversify, innovate, or prepare for the inevitable. And now? They’re blaming the donor instead of themselves.

Failures of Leadership, Failures of Planning, and Utter Dependence

Let’s look at the wreckage:

  • Texas’s Largest Immigrant Legal Aid Group Collapses Overnight – RAICES, Texas’s biggest immigration legal aid organization, just laid off 63 employees because the federal aid faucet was turned off.
    • Their business model? Total reliance on government money.
    • Their plan B? Nonexistent.
    • So, instead of being proactive, they’re slashing jobs and playing the victim.
  • International Aid Groups Cry Wolf After Failing to Budget Responsibly – Organizations like the International Rescue Committee (IRC), Catholic Relief Services, and the Danish Refugee Council are slashing thousands of jobs. But let’s be clear: These are multi-million-dollar nonprofits that have existed for decades. They had every opportunity to build endowments, create alternative funding streams, and implement self-sustaining models. Instead, they gambled their entire workforce on continued U.S. handouts. Now, their people pay the price.
  • Orphanages Running Out of Medicine- Because They Put All Their Faith in a Single Donor – In Kenya, the Nyumbani Children’s Home is running out of antiretroviral medicine for HIV-positive orphans because USAID funding was halted. This is tragic, but it’s also a colossal failure of leadership. How does a facility responsible for vulnerable children fail to secure diverse, sustainable funding for life-saving medicine? The only reason they are in this situation is that they chose dependency over financial stability.
  • Ethiopia’s Aid Sector ‘Shocked’– Despite Decades to Prepare – USAID funding has been a cornerstone of Ethiopia’s humanitarian efforts for years. But instead of using that time to build resilience, engage new donors, and develop alternative revenue sources, aid agencies let themselves become 100% reliant on a foreign government’s budget choices. Now that the money’s stopped, they’re acting surprised. Shocked. Unprepared. And utterly lost.
  • NGOs in Somalia Blaming the S. Instead of Themselves – The U.S. aid freeze has immobilized NGOs in Somalia that serve internally displaced persons. The media will say it’s a tragedy. But let’s ask the real question: What were these organizations doing to diversify funding while they had years of financial stability? Were they actively building a donor network? Creating community partnerships? Monetizing services where possible? Or were they just waiting for the next round of aid checks?

The same stories are playing out again and again. Entire organizations crumbling overnight because their executives–who many, many are paid six and seven-figure salaries to lead­ did nothing to ensure long-term viability.

The Real Crisis Is a Lack of Leadership

The issue here isn’t the aid freeze-it’s the sheer negligence and financial irresponsibility of these organizations.

If you are running a nonprofit, an NGO, or a humanitarian organization and your survival hinges entirely on whether or not U.S. aid money keeps coming in, you are not leading-you are just waiting for the next handout. And waiting is not a strategy.

The worst part? These failures were completely avoidable.

Eight Essential Revenue Streams for Survival & Growth

If these organizations had any sense of financial stewardship, they would have developed multiple income sources years ago. Here’s what every NGO should be focusing on Ten:

  1. Individual, One-Time Donors – These are most widely dependent upon small, local, or regional donors and are often the primary source of funding for startups but should never be ignored.
  2. Major Donors & Private Philanthropy- High-net-worth individuals, corporations, and impact investors should be a core part of any nonprofit’s funding strategy. Instead of whining about lost government aid, why weren’t these organizations actively courting sustainable private donors?
  3. Monthly Recurring Giving Programs – Organizations that rely on government money often ignore direct community support. Monthly giving programs create a predictable revenue stream. Where were the donor retention efforts? Where was the digital engagement?
  4. Grants from Diverse Sources (Not Just the U.S. Government) – These organizations acted as though USAID was the only grant funding available. What about corporate grants? European Union humanitarian grants? International development foundations?
  5. Earned Income & Social Enterprises – Every major NGO should have some revenue-generating activities. Whether it’s selling ethical products, running a skills­ training program with paid tuition, or licensing intellectual property, revenue should not be 100% dependent on donations.
  6. Corporate Partnerships & Sponsorships – Businesses are looking for meaningful CSR (corporate social responsibility). Why weren’t these NGOs partnering with brands that align with their missions?
  7. Investment & Endowment Strategies – Any serious nonprofit should have a financial cushion through investment funds and endowments. Where did all their previous years of funding go? Where’s the reserve? Where’s the financial planning?
  8. Crowdfunding & Digital Fundraising Campaigns – In the age of the internet, digital fundraising should be a primary year-round strategy, not an afterthought. If an organization can’t rally global grassroots donors before a crisis hits, that’s a failure of planning.

This Isn’t a U.S. Problem- It’s an Accountability Problem

Enough with the sob stories. Enough with the woe-is-me headlines. Enough with the blame game.

The U.S. is not responsible for the survival of these organizations. They were responsible for themselves. And they failed.

The organizations that collapse due to this aid freeze are not victims of injustice. They are victims of their financial incompetence.

The lesson here is simple: If you are in charge of a nonprofit, humanitarian group, or faith­ based organization, and you’re still betting your survival on the hope that government funding will continue indefinitely, you are committing professional malpractice.

And when your organization collapses under the weight of your mismanagement, don’t blame the donor. Blame yourself.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

 I have been involved with the nonprofit, foundation, humanitarian, and ministry sectors for decades. I have lived in numerous places in the US, England, Greenland, France, Germany, Japan, South Korea, Ecuador, and Uganda. Some of that time, I was in military service, but all of my life, I have been a person of service to others.

That is why I am so outraged at the world’s talking heads fixing the blame on this country that has been the majority source of humanitarian aid than any other country in the history of the world.

Now that we are getting right with the internal affairs of corruption, greed, malfeasance, mismanagement, and lack of accountability, the open hands are up in arms. Well, I say, Shame on You; DOUBLE SHAME ON YOU!

Get your houses in order, and do something about abhorent mismanagement, loss, malfeasance, and waste in your houses, and maybe, just maybe, some good can come out of this.

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Geopolitics Geopolitics and History News and Politics

An Open Letter URGENT PLEA TO THE GLOBAL HUMANITARIAN COMMUNITY: JUSTICE FOR THE VICTIMS OF PEACEKEEPING ABUSES

An Open Letter

URGENT PLEA TO THE GLOBAL HUMANITARIAN COMMUNITY

JUSTICE FOR THE VICTIMS OF PEACEKEEPING ABUSES

To the Esteemed Leaders of the Humanitarian World,

The world has watched in silence for too long. We have documented the horrors, recorded the testimonies, and reported the unthinkable crimes. Yet, the impunity of those entrusted to protect, stabilize, and bring peace continues unchecked. Today, I write to you not just as a journalist, but as a witness to the profound betrayal suffered by the very people these forces were sworn to protect.

The atrocities committed by United Nations peacekeeping forces across multiple regions—Haiti, the Central African Republic, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and beyond—have long been the subject of damning reports. The abuses are well-documented: sexual exploitation, violence against civilians, and the reckless loss of life. Similarly, the African Union Mission in Somalia (AMISOM), now transitioning into the African Union Transition Mission in Somalia (ATMIS), has left a legacy marred by unconscionable war crimes.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in Somalia, where AMISOM troops, including those from Uganda, have been implicated in grave human rights violations. The recent revelations of mass executions—where civilians were reportedly murdered and their bodies deliberately exploded en masse—represent a new depth of cruelty that demands an immediate international response. These crimes go beyond the battlefield; they strike at the heart of our shared human conscience.

We cannot allow peacekeeping forces to operate as occupying armies above the law. We cannot allow governments funding these missions—including Uganda’s military leadership and other contributing nations—to escape scrutiny under the veil of diplomatic immunity. This is not peacekeeping; this is terror in uniform.

Where are the courts? Where is the justice for the victims? Where is the international community’s demand for accountability? If peacekeeping forces are to maintain legitimacy, they must be held to the highest standard, not the lowest. It is time for world governments, humanitarian organizations, and civil society to take definitive action:

  1. Immediate Independent Investigations – A neutral, international body must be granted full access to investigate the crimes reported in Somalia and beyond. Governments contributing troops to AU peacekeeping forces must open their records and cooperate fully with inquiries.
  2. Criminal Prosecution of Perpetrators – The chain of command responsible for these war crimes, from foot soldiers to commanding officers, must face prosecution in international courts. No amnesty, no diplomatic cover-ups.
  3. Sanctions Against Complicit Governments – Nations that continue to provide troops and resources to peacekeeping operations without enforcing discipline must face tangible consequences. Financial and diplomatic sanctions must be imposed on regimes that shield war criminals.
  4. Victim Reparations and Acknowledgment – Those who have suffered must be recognized, compensated, and given justice. Families of the slain deserve more than silence; they deserve accountability and restitution.

This letter is a plea to the world’s conscience. If those charged with upholding peace are the very perpetrators of horror, then the global humanitarian community must be the voice that demands their reckoning. The integrity of international peacekeeping is at stake. The dignity of innocent civilians in conflict zones is at stake. Our very humanity is at stake.

To all organizations and individuals dedicated to justice, now is the time to act. Now is the time to demand accountability. Now is the time to ensure that peacekeeping does not become a mask for impunity.

Justice must not wait. The world must not turn away.

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

The Language of Gender in Negotiations

In the intricate dance of negotiations, language serves as both a tool and a battleground, particularly when it comes to gender. Negotiation is not just about the exchange of contractual terms and figures; it is also deeply influenced by how individuals communicate, and these communication patterns can vary based on gender-conditioning.

Nuances embedded within linguistic choices can profoundly shape the outcome of negotiations, reflecting and perpetuating societal norms and power dynamics. Whether it is the subtle differences in tone or through the manifestation of gender stereotypes, language often becomes a vehicle for reinforcing existing biases or challenging them.

The tendency for men to employ more direct language in negotiations can convey confidence and authority, which may influence how their messages are perceived by counterparts. Employing the use of clear and assertive language often translates to a sense of decisiveness. Conversely, women tend to use more indirect language in negotiations. While this approach can be seen as diplomatic and considerate, it may sometimes be perceived as less assertive or confident compared to direct communication styles.

These language nuances and conventions are not solely influenced by individual preferences but are also shaped by broader societal and cultural norms. Expectations and stereotypes associated with gender roles may inadvertently impact how individuals communicate during negotiations.

However, effective negotiation isn’t about conforming to rigid stereotypes but rather about leveraging communication strategies that resonate with the specific context and counterpart. It’s about being adaptable, aware, and responsive to the dynamics at play. In a negotiation where gender biases may influence perceptions, individuals can overcome challenges by promoting open dialogue and mutual understanding.

The first step to overcoming these gender-conditioned approaches is awareness. It’s one of the reasons I started my Art of Feminine Negotiation™ book discussing the problems of social conditioning and its impact on bargaining approaches and outcomes. It’s important to be intentional about our approach to negotiation. This intentionality requires both self-awareness and societal conditioning awareness.

Understanding these linguistic differences, for example, is crucial for negotiators. By recognizing and adapting to these tendencies, negotiators can strategically align their communication styles with the desired negotiation objectives. For instance, women negotiators might consider incorporating more direct language when clarity and assertiveness are paramount in a negotiation context. And men may be better served by leaning in to so-called ‘softer’ approaches to get more creative outcomes.

Enhancing awareness and skill is important in improving negotiation strategies for all genders. For example, practicing different communication styles and learning to navigate biases can equip negotiators with tools to communicate more effectively. But, navigating this and challenging biases can be a difficult journey.

Inherent and individual nature certainly affects choices made in dialogue. For example, a man who is soft-spoken or has a natural gentle demeanor may be perceived as less confident or decisive because his behaviour does not fit into typical expectations of how men act. On the other side, a woman who is more direct or resolute in her use of language may be seen as callous or aggressive because she does not fit typical social perceptions. Before my epiphany I fell into this latter category. My clients called me the ‘Barracuda’ for approaches that would have been considered unremarkable in my male colleagues.

The pressures of social norms may force individuals to fight against their inherent nature in order to fit imposing standards. However, authentic and genuine communication become a common forgotten skill when adhering to societal conventions of language. Acknowledging these gender-based communication tendencies is essential for navigating interpersonal interactions effectively.

In negotiations the choice of language can significantly influence perceptions of credibility and competence. The approach of genuine conversation and attitudes instead of using facades can positively impact negotiation styles and foster a more harmonious environment. Trust is critical in any negotiation. Authenticity is key to build this necessary trust.

Ultimately, successful negotiation hinges on effective communication that fosters mutual understanding and agreement. Ongoing research into gender and language in negotiation informs best practices for promoting equity and inclusivity. For instance, studies on negotiation strategies that account for diverse communication styles can offer practical insights for improving negotiation outcomes and fostering respectful dialogue among negotiators. By embracing diverse communication styles and navigating gender-based language tendencies thoughtfully, negotiators can enhance their ability to achieve favorable outcomes while fostering constructive dialogue and relationships in the negotiating arena.

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Why “A Man in Full” Reinforces the Need for The Art of Feminine Negotiation

The new highly anticipated Netflix series, “A Man in Full”, demonstrates the desperate need for a new reframe on negotiation success. In fact, watching the show last night reminded me why I launched my mission for the Art of Feminine Negotiation. ™

While the series should play as a parody of masculine toxicity, sadly, it rings true for much of what passes as strong leadership these days. Whether it’s the business tycoon, the banking hotshot, the simpering loans officer, the mayor, or legal counsel, the male leads can hardly be called protagonists. Each in their own way are antagonists or antiheros, displaying behaviour that is neither acceptable nor productive.

The men in the show put on a full-on display of toxic masculine conditioning run amok. Not surprisingly, there is an inordinate amount of references to balls and pricks with a corresponding number of F-bombs or derivatives thereof thrown into the mix. The language reflects the behaviour.

The men brag about their relative abilities to ‘kick another man’s ass’ (both literally and figuratively) and are hell-bent on destruction of their ‘opponents’. Ego and testosterone abound in virtually every interaction between the males in the show. As in real life, this does not end well.

Respect and dignity are not a factor in their negotiations. In fact, the over-riding goal in almost every negotiation featured appears to be the humiliation and belittling of the other side. Brutish bullying seems to be the go-to modus operandi even when it’s to the character’s detriment.

Winning is everything, but unfortunately their concepts of winning do not allow for best outcomes. Taking the most aggressive path is always chosen even when it doesn’t best serve the party taking that approach. Charlie Croker (played by Jeff Daniels) brags that ‘I may be a sore loser sometimes, but I’m a vicious winner’ as if this is a sign of his superior business acumen.

Don’t get me wrong. The production is fabulous, and the acting is exceptional. It’s the message I take issue with. I expect the hope is that the audience will see the folly in the traditional competitive and polarizing approach to negotiating (in business and life) and choose a better path – a more collaborative, creative path to a better future. Heck, that’s the point of the Art of Feminine Negotiation™ – to truly seek to understand and meet the needs of the other party in our interactions and negotiations. But I fear that the audience will take away the opposite lesson, believing that emulating this toxic, divisive behaviour is somehow a sign of power and success.

Allow me to spin some better lessons to take away from the show:

  1. Surrender ego for better negotiated outcomes. Bumper-car egos are an impediment to good negotiating. Parking ego when approaching a negotiation will virtually always make space for better resolutions.
  2. Build rapport and trust and with it, better results. Effective negotiation is all about connection. Personalized attacks destroy the possibility of connection that allows for bigger and better opportunities.
  3. Empathy is key to getting to the heart of the matter and opening space for unexpected wins for all.
  4. Holding all your cards to your chest (rather than allowing for transparency and vulnerability) may preclude your ability to find the real deal.
  5. Be willing to be flexible. Staying too attached to one particular outcome precludes your ability to see better possibilities lying on the table for the having.
  6. Aggressiveness is not the same as assertiveness. The former shows a lack of confidence in your knowledge of the subject whereas the latter comes from effective preparation and intention in showing up as the best version of yourself.
  7. Curiosity is more effective than bullying in negotiations.
  8. Everyone wants to feel seen and heard. Shutting down either is not an effective way to get your best result.
  9. Integrity matters in negotiation and in life. I mean this in both sense of the word. Sacrificing our moral code inevitably backfires as does coming from a place not in keeping with our core values.
  10. Machismo is not strength. In fact, the so-called ‘soft skills’ are the strongest way to best outcomes.
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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Lessons from Navigating Season Changes to Improve Your Negotiation Success

It’s that time of the year again. Another season change, and with it the daily uncertainty of how to dress … and more. As I’ve struggled with simple decisions during the long transition from winter to spring, it struck me that there are lessons to be learned from this quarterly dance that could improve negotiation success. I thought I’d share them with you.

One of the foundational elements of my Art of Feminine Negotiation system is my A.R.E. F.I.T (just think you ARE FIT to be a great negotiator) model. It’s a simple mnemonic representing the key skills you need to bring to the table to get best negotiated outcomes: Assertiveness, Rapport Building, Empathy, Flexibility, Intuition and Trust.

Surprisingly, these skills apply whether navigating season changes or negotiating high stakes deals. Let’s unpack them.

 

Assertiveness:

Most people confuse assertiveness with aggression. They’re not the same thing. Assertiveness comes from confidence. Confidence comes from knowledge. Knowledge comes from preparation. It’s simple really.

Rather than railing at Mother Nature about unexpected elements during season changes (like a major dump of snow the day after you swapped out your snow tires with regular tires), instead do a little preparation. Check the forecasts, consider historical patterns, calculate the pros and cons of early versus late switchover (i.e. wear on your snow tires from dry pavement versus an accident from no traction with regular tires). Ultimately you need to make a decision, knowing it may work out as planned, but it may not.

This is much like the decision-making process in traditional negotiations. Unexpected elements arise. We can try to bully and bluster our way through these changes (typically to no avail other than damaging relationships and with it outcomes), or we can do the preparation necessary to make informed decisions, remaining open to the potential need to pivot when things move in a different direction.

 

Rapport-Building

I invite you to introduce yourself to each new season. Embrace it. Discover it. Show up with curiosity. Connect. Allow yourself to enjoy it. Build a relationship with each new stage. This approach will almost certainly allow for a better experience.

Similarly, in your negotiations, don’t treat the other party as the enemy. Don’t think of them (or their ideas or proposals) as something to ‘get through’ until you can impose your will. Be intentional about building rapport. Negotiation is all about relationship and connection.

 

Empathy

It’s easy to get frustrated with the changes each new season brings. From the frogs hopping haphazardly on the roadways with spring rainfalls (making nighttime driving an adventure), to the bugs splatting against your windshield or vying for your blood, it’s easy to resent them. I get it. But what if, instead, you put yourself in their shoes? Imagine how challenging their lives are, struggling to survive their too-short time on Earth. Recognize their contribution to the eco-system and how everything falls apart without the diversity they offer. Your tolerance will rise and your frustration fall.

Likewise, in negotiations, the key to greater success is truly seeking to understand and meet the needs of the other party. Listen and learn. Adopt their perspective to broaden your own. It will profoundly change your experience and your outcomes.

 

Flexibility

Be prepared to be flexible during change of seasons. You may leave in the morning with frost on the ground and a bitter wind biting through your clothing, only to be sweating in your aptly named sweater by lunchtime. Wear layers. Bring a change of clothing. Be flexible to the need to shift.

Negotiations are no different. The other party may not show up as expected. Positions may change. Either theirs or your situation may shift. It’s important to remain flexible and open to new possibilities that may present and to find the golden opportunity in these unexpected shifts.

 

Intuition

Sometimes, even with all the preparation in the world, you just need to tap into your intuition. If you’re dying to enjoy the back deck but your intuition tells you that a whopper of a storm with gale-force winds is coming, maybe you don’t put out the patio furniture and cushions today.

This skill is often ignored or undervalued in negotiations as well. Trust your instincts. If your spidey-sense is sending off alarm bells about the trustworthiness of your bargaining counterpart, trust it! Sometimes quick decisions need to be made in negotiations. If so, slow your breathing, close your eyes, and connect with your intuition.

 

Trust

Nature can seem haphazard – sometimes even cruel. But there is an order to the seeming chaos. Nature is efficient. There is little waste or excess. Virtually everything serves a purpose and works in near perfect synchronicity. Trust it. Respect it.

In our real-world negotiations, it’s also critical to earn trust and respect. Show up with integrity. Treat everyone with dignity and respect. Protect your reputation. Keep your word.

 

As you settle in to the changes this spring brings from your corner of the world, seek to fully enjoy the experience. Be intentional in your daily negotiations and in your daily navigation of the season changes. In that way, you can position yourself to negotiate your best life.

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Negotiating Joy in the Journey

As I look out the window and see rain pouring down (again) I’m reminded of the ‘April showers bring May flowers’ proverb. At first, I prided myself on my ability to bring a positive perspective to the doldrums of the rain. But I quickly realized that I still have work to do as even that ‘spin’ sets a negative, disempowering tone.

Language matters. Our brain tries to give us what it thinks we want. When I quip that ‘April showers bring May flowers’, I’m really training my brain to see April (and its showers) as something I need to persevere through to get to the May flowers. That perspective brings resistance with it.

What if, instead, I focused on the sheer joy of the showers themselves? Not as a journey to get to the ultimate destination of flowers, but rather, as an exceptional experience in and of itself.

What if I trained my brain to appreciate the wildly divergent sound patterns that the rain brings us – a symphony of music, changing tempo and tone moment to moment. And what if I celebrated the dance of the raindrops as they hit different surfaces, creating art in the myriad of unexpected patterns that emerge. What if I closed my eyes and breathed in the rich earthy smells the rain evokes.

Rather than April showers being something to endure on the journey to May flowers, they would become a gift that brings joy in the journey.

And what if we applied that principle to our lives? Think of any task you have on your plate at the moment. I invite you to choose to appreciate each step of the journey enroute to completion of that task. And yes, it is a choice.

You get to determine where you put your focus and what meaning you attach to your thoughts. Negotiating your mindset may be the most important negotiation you undertake in every moment of each day. You can focus on the end goal, seeing each step in the process as a necessary evil to reach that goal. Or you can embrace those interim steps as moments to be fully experienced and enjoyed along the way.

Consider your bigger vision and dreams for your life. Do you see the steps along the path to that vision as a grind, a trial or a tribulation? I invite you to ensure you choose mindful presence in each moment as you move toward your vision. Choose joy in the journey.

If your brain tries to give you what we want, how much more empowered will your adventures be if you train it to find the joy? To seek the beauty and gifts. To bask in gratitude in each moment.

Imagine how much better your life can be when you accept that you hold the power to train your brain to seek more positive and uplifting evidence. Simple perspective shifts can be gamechangers in life. You can choose to adopt one of these gamechangers now.

From attending to small tasks, to relationship building, to building an empire, choose joy in the journey. How simple is that?

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Celebrate Extraordinary Everyday Women

Today is International Women’s Day. I invite you to take time to think about the women in your life who deserve to be celebrated but seldom get recognized. Let’s salute the extraordinary everyday women who add value to the world with no expectation of celebrity … or even acknowledgement. We all know many of these women.
I’m not talking about celebrating martyrdom here, but rather, taking a few moments to meaningfully consider the women who quietly make a difference in the world. We have become such an extrovert and fame-driven society, with influencers and celebs sucking all the oxygen, that countless women who have profound impact go unnoticed and under-appreciated.
Let’s make today their day. Let’s honour them. Let’s shout from the rooftops in celebration of their greatness.
I’ve been doing this myself this week, leading up to International Women’s Day. It’s a humbling experience. I confess, I’ve been pushing for visibility, touting my Wall Street Journal best-selling book and bragging about my recent features in Forbes, Women’s World, LA Weekly, etc. Meanwhile, millions of women, everyday, show up with compassion, kindness, generosity, empathy, curiosity, and creativity. They listen, inspire, and build trust. They seek to understand the perspectives of others. They lift up others to be the best they can, never seeking reward or the limelight.
I was talking to my daughter about International Women’s Day and my husband walked by saying “So when do men get celebrated?” I immediately quipped back, “Well, that would be the other 364 days of the year.” I said it as a fun bite back. But then I got to thinking that there was some truth in that. Women have been conditioned to play small, play nice, not brag on themselves, not take up too much space.
So today, I’d like to start a wave of well-deserved (but too long delayed) heartfelt gratitude and recognition for all those women who make a difference – whether for their family, intimate partners, community, or on the global scene – without expectation.
We’ve become very focused on transactional relationships in our society today. Always looking for the return on investment. Let’s honour those women who do great things with no thought of ‘what’s in it for them’. Let’s celebrate them for a change.
I invite you to recognize them by posting about them publicly. I’ve set up a page to do that. Simply go HERE on Facebook or HERE if Insta is your jam and post a pic and/or brief blurb about your chosen woman to honour.
Don’t be shy or stingy with sharing the praise. Choose as many women as you think deserve to be recognized. Share the post in your circles so it can travel today and beyond giving the long overdue appreciation to extraordinary everyday women who make the world a better place just by being them.

Categories
Human Resources Leadership Management

Hiring with One Foot Out the Door: The Problem with Probationary Periods

Let’s talk about probationary periods. You know, that arbitrary timeframe companies slap onto new hires to “evaluate” them before fully committing. As if the months of recruiting, interviewing, and vetting weren’t enough. Because clearly, after all that, we’re still not sure about them?  Yet, we are immediately expecting their commitment and loyalty.

Seriously, if you’re hiring people you don’t trust from day one, what does that say about your hiring process? Either you don’t know how to hire, or you’re hedging your bets like a gambler at a Vegas roulette table. And let’s be real, neither of those are a good look.

Probation = We Don’t Fully Trust You

Nothing says, “welcome to the team” quite like, “Hey, you’re on probation, so don’t screw up!” That’s the message companies send, whether they realize it or not. Instead of empowering new employees and setting them up for success, probationary periods create an immediate sense of insecurity and maybe even paranoia in today’s world.

And let’s talk about that word: probation. The only other people in society on probation are criminals. Think about that for a second. We’re lumping new hires—talented, eager responsible adults—into the same category as individuals who have literally broken the law. What kind of message is that? You’re telling new employees from the get-go that they are not trusted, that they must “prove” their worth, and that they can be easily discarded. That’s a ridiculous way to build loyalty, commitment, and high performance.

It’s a Cop-Out for Leaders

Probationary periods give managers an easy out. Instead of actively coaching, guiding, and integrating new employees, leaders can just sit back and think, “Well, let’s see if they make it through probation.” That’s not leadership. That’s avoidance.

A leader’s job is to develop people, not wait for them to magically prove their worth. If a new employee is struggling, the right response is mentorship—not crossing your arms and waiting to see if they “sink or swim” because you can use the probationary period as an easy out.

It Undermines Culture and Performance

You can’t build a high-performing culture when people feel like they’re on shaky ground from day one. The best companies create an environment where employees feel valued, supported, and confident in their contributions. Probationary periods achieve the exact opposite—they breed hesitation, risk aversion, and a reluctance to take initiative.

Want innovation? Want accountability? Want high performance? Then start by treating people like trusted adults from the moment they walk through the door. It’s not that hard.

Real-World Consequences

At HPWP Group (High Performance Work Place), we’ve been advocating for the elimination of probationary periods for 30 years.  But now, there are real world consequences.

Look no further than recent headlines to see the damage probationary periods can inflict. The Trump administration, in a misguided attempt to “streamline” government operations, has been on a firing spree, targeting probationary employees across various federal agencies. Thousands of dedicated workers have been shown the door, often without legitimate cause, simply because their probationary status makes them easy targets.

At the National Park Service, for instance, nearly 2,000 job offers for seasonal workers were rescinded, and many recently hired probationary employees were terminated. This has led to severe understaffing, threatening the maintenance and operation of our cherished national parks.

These aren’t just statistics; they’re real people whose livelihoods have been upended. The misuse of probationary periods as a tool for indiscriminate layoffs not only devastates employees but also cripples the very institutions they’re meant to serve.

Stop the Nonsense

Here’s a radical idea: If you don’t trust someone enough to hire them outright, don’t hire them. But if you do hire them, treat them like a full-fledged, capable member of your team—because that’s exactly what they are. Ditch the probationary periods and start leading like you mean it.

Rant over.

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Negotiating Controversial Subjects in Social Settings

Negotiating Controversial Subjects in Social Settings

It’s holiday party season and it’s inevitable that controversial subjects will come up at some point in our social interactions. That’s always been the case, but perhaps more so in these times of profound polarization and change. How we deal with these potentially challenging interactions will determine whether our outcomes are positive or disastrous.

Here’s 3 quick tips I felt compelled to share based on a recent exchange I experienced:

I  There’s a Time and Place for Politicized Discussion – Choose Wisely

While some conversational landmines catch us by surprise, some can be avoided with a little forethought and/or intentionality. As a general rule, it’s probably risky engaging in discussions about politics or religion at holiday get togethers.

You might think this advice doesn’t include family, but I invite you to think about any of your recent family get togethers. If you’re like most people, family is often the most fraught as old family baggage is inevitably layered on and into the discussion. This advice also applies to discussions at social events for work, community, clubs, or organizations.

Warning: This advice applies doubly if alcohol is involved.

Last night, at a holiday party for our group of local authors, the subject of political correctness for writers (and the quickly changing landscape on what this encompasses) came up in conversation. No question this was an interesting and important issue with the potential for a vigorous and engaging discussion. However, in hindsight, perhaps our holiday party was not the best forum for the discourse.

II  Know When to Call Out ‘Bad Behaviour’

As you may have guessed from my cautionary tip above, the potentially exciting conversation went sideways quickly. Note that sometimes it can take a single person to fundamentally change the nature of a conversation (for the good or the bad). In this situation, one person continued to engage insensitive racial overtones and to consistently interrupt and talk over the others in the conversation.

This raised the obvious question … do I call out the behaviour or let it ride?

I love important discussions on challenging issues. It’s one of the ways we grow into the best versions of ourselves. It’s one of the fundamental premises behind my Art of Feminine Negotiation™ mission as the world is in a polarized place right now. People dig into their respective positions, and few are open to meaningful dialogue to better understand opposing perspectives. Many preach their own rhetoric without understanding other viewpoints (in our personal lives, on social media and even on the world stage).

Much of the work I do is stimulating these very types of discussions. To do that effectively, it’s necessary to ensure that everyone follows key protocols, which include listening fully to each speaker in turn without interruption. This is particularly so vis-a-vis women, as women tend to be interrupted and talked over 45% more than their male counterparts (both by men and by other women).

I suspect, in part, that’s why I felt compelled to call out the behaviour and note the interruptions as a starting point. It was challenging to move forward with any discussion when nobody could finish a sentence. I was hoping to invite more curiosity to hear other viewpoints on the broader issues (as is key, especially on issues we feel strongly about). Curiosity can move mountains.

III  Know When to Walk Away

In the immortal words of Kenny Rogers, ‘you’ve gotta know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run’. Curiosity did not win the day last night. Whether it was the nature of the event, the forum or external factors, our interrupter doubled down and it became impossible to engage in any real exchange.

It was time to step back from the conversation. Part of my advocacy work as a social justice attorney and specialist in conflict communications, and also in my work as a women’s empowerment coach, is working together on empowering ways to step into the fullness of our power, redefining who we choose to be and how we choose to show up. It’s important to know when that can be achieved … and when it cannot.

Don’t get sucked into a conversation that will continue to devolve. Gently redirect the conversation and park it for a more appropriate and productive time and place. Explore alternative approaches that may prove more empowering.

There’s great power in avoiding unnecessary conflict and choosing to walk away altogether where there is no value to be had, or ideally picking up the thread strategically in a more advantageous manner at a later time and place with the opportunity for forethought and preparation to increase the chances of more successful outcomes.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

How You Can Achieve More by Negotiating from an Abundance (versus Scarcity) Mindset

How You Can Achieve More by Negotiating from an Abundance (versus Scarcity) Mindset

We hear a lot these days about abundance versus scarcity mindsets. Many consider these concepts to be woo-woo and dismiss them. This is not surprising in a society where we’ve been conditioned to define success based on a competitive ‘winner take all’ approach. With the new year fast approaching, I invite you to embrace an abundance mindset in your negotiations and beyond. You may be surprised at the returns that abound from this outlook.

First let’s touch on what we mean by abundance versus scarcity mindsets. In short, scarcity mindsets assume limited resources are available and so, we fight over this perceived limited access, believing that’s the only way to secure a piece of the fixed pie available. By contrast, abundance mindsets assume limitless resources. Rather than fighting over a fixed pie, let’s create some more pie so everyone can share in it. Better yet, rather than only having pecan pie available, let’s create different kinds of pie so everyone can get what they want, how they want it.

Admitted, I’ve over-simplified the concept. Yet I challenge you to genuinely consider which approach would better serve … you individually and humanity generally. Imagine a world where we believed that unlimited love, happiness, and wealth was available for all. Scarcity mindsets are narrow and limiting, pitting us against each other, whereas abundance provides an ever-expanding expectation of more, inspiring creativity to find bigger, better options.

I certainly saw this divide in my law practice. In fact, I believe it’s one of the fatal flaws in our legal system. I even saw this approach in my coaching business. It’s ironic that in the personal development business we still see some approaching the business from a territorial, protective place – hardly a model for evolved personal development. By contrast, I always strove to be generous, sharing my resources and collaborating openly and extensively.

Those who encourage abundance mindsets are more magnetic and have a more profound positive impact. I invite you to give wide berth to those who operate on principles of scarcity, seeking to motivate through pain points and fear.

Which approach you adopt is a choice. You have 100% responsibility for your experience of life. Why not choose better? This fundamental choice between abundance versus scarcity affects your business opportunities, your relationships (personally and professionally) and the quality of the experiences in your life.

It stands to reason that if you withhold in your relationships, believing there are limited rations at your disposal to share, you will not love fully and deeply. If you impose limitations on your love, or conditions, or insist on expectations of equal reciprocity, you lose out on the joy of unqualified love and giving.

In business, if you think small, seeing restrictions rather than pursuing a big, bolder vision for yourself, you will limit your options, and with it your potential for maximum success. I was guilty of this for a time in my law practice. I under-charged what I was worth, and I stayed smaller than I needed.

Even in our personal experiences, we often limit our potential for living into the boldest version of our lives. I was guilty of this for a time. Growing up in a low rental apartment complex, where money was always a source of conflict with my parents, I carried a lot of money baggage. I wanted to live large, and I believed I was as I travelled extensively and embraced new experiences. But, if I’m ruthlessly honest with myself, I always sought out the budget version of my experiences.

Recently, on our trip to Antarctica, I decided to adopt an abundance mindset. I booked a Panoramic suite. The price point almost made me choke, but I chose to believe I was worth it. I chose to believe the enhanced experience would be worth it. I chose to believe the money would come. And guess what? I was, it was and it did. That trip was a once in a lifetime extraordinary experience.

Where are you holding back in your life? Where are you thinking small? Where are you living in a scarcity mindset when an abundance mindset would better serve you?

As you step into this new year, I invite you to think bigger, live larger, expand your boundaries, give more freely, and fully embrace this life you’ve been given, squeezing out the juice, confident that you can create more.