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“These Are The Deadly Body Language Signs Of Anxiety” – Negotiation Insight

“Recognizing body language signs indicating anxiety is like taking aspirins before headaches occur.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

 

“These Are The Deadly Body Language Signs Of Anxiety”

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.”

 

When reading body language, you must know the body language signs to observe to understand the meaning those signs convey. Without that insight, you’ll miss the full intent of the message. And that missed opportunity could have been the point to de-escalate a situation that then ignites into something more uncontrollable.

Anytime a situation becomes tense, it heightens the probability that it will escalate into dangerous territory. It’s for that reason alone that you should be aware of sharp tensions. And, while some symptoms are more meaningful than others, depending on the situation, the following are signs that indicate degrees of increased imminent danger, that can become enhanced by anxiety.

 

Clenching Fists 

When an individual begins flexing his hands into clenching fists, he is preparing for some form of battle. That battle may initially be the source of verbal escalation. Then, it may become heightened by the anxiety that’s fed by the rise in tension, which would only serve to increase the probability of it becoming dire. Thus, each time a cycle occurs, it provides the fuel to accelerate the process. If an interrupt doesn’t happen to short-circuit the process, physical violence can become the endpoint. Since this act indicates the closeness of physical danger, it’s a sign that should not go ignored. To do so could be at your peril.

 

Flexing Neck

An often-overlooked body language sign of anxiety is neck flexing. While the effort can be engaged to exercise the reduction of tension in one’s body, if the source of that tension stems from stress, the environment becomes more susceptible to escalating into threatening behavior. And that could enhance the probability that you and others could become the target of someone’s fiendish out-lashes.

When observing someone flexing their neck, recognize that act alone doesn’t indicate pending troubles. Like with body language gestures in general, to accurately assess someone’s intent, the more gestures you observe, the better the information you’ll have to obtain someone’s intentions correctly. With that insight, you’ll become better positioned to take corrective action should danger ensue.

 

Invading Personal Space

There’s a space perspective that people have to others that indicate how safe and comfortable they feel in that space. You’ll note someone’s discomfort if they back up, or use a gesture, such as extending their arm outward, to allow you to see the extended space that they’d like you to keep from them. If, after receiving a signal about the appropriate distance one would like to maintain is violated, further assessment needs to occur immediately about the violater’s intent.

Because when the vicinity of space becomes violated, the act might become perceived as a hostile gesture. And, if the anxiety of other harmful actions accompanies that gesture, a dangerous situation could be born.

Nevertheless, sometimes, people may want to be unusually close to you. In some cultures, it’s customary for people to engage one another in closer proximity than other cultures. If their closeness doesn’t cause you anxiety, let them feel comfortable by obtaining that closeness. But when it prompts uneasiness in you, say something before they have a chance to do something, that something being anything that might bring you further discomfort or harm.

 

Feet Movement/Placement

Of all the gestures that could indicate pending danger, depending on the space between you and someone else, feet placement is the one that you should initially observe. Because a person will use their feet to approach you, and the way they do so, will give you insight into the intent of their actions. Someone moving quickly towards you might be indicating that they’re happy to be in your presence. The reason for that may be what you should question. To make that assessment, you must observe other gestures. As an example, if the person has a scowl on their face and they’re slowly moving towards you, and they begin to smile as they get closer, you might interpret that action as being less threatening than someone clenching their fists as they approach you while not smiling.

Then, once someone is close to you, their feet will indicate their intention. As an example, if a person plans to exit your environment, one foot will point in the direction they plan to exit. If they intend to become more aggressive, they’ll move closer to you, and their feet may momentarily become aligned with yours. If an attack is imminent, before its occurrence, a momentary backward step may occur, followed by a thrust of energy to propel a fist, elbow, or kick. And obviously, you’ll know their intent to harm you at that instance. So, before things get to that point, pay attention to the body language that foretells its arrival.

 

Reflection

When I was a kid in early grade school, I remember playing a game called “what’s missing.” As the kids entered the classroom, the teacher had items placed throughout the room. The kids would take note of those items and their locations. After that, we closed our eyes. Then the teacher rearranged or removed some of the things. Once we could open our eyes, we had to tell the teacher what items were removed or repositioned.

I loved that game. It reminds me so much about reading body language signs. By noting what signs you saw one moment and observing how they’d changed into what they became, you can note when anxiety might be the motivator that caused that change to occur. Thus, by perceiving your environment via someone’s body language signs, you get a glimpse into the coming attractions. That means, by being observant of such actions, you’ll have more time to thwart the efforts that might lead to unwanted activities. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

Categories
Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“How To Never Again Be Derailed By Negotiation Distractions” – Negotiation tip of the Week

“Distractions can be the pleasures of life. They can also be the source of lost control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

“How To Never Again Be Derailed By Negotiation Distractions”

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.”

 

He realized that he was in a tight spot in the negotiation. And he did not like being in that position. He thought, either way, I come out on the short end of the outcome. Then he remembered a negotiation tactic that he’d read about many years ago. The highlight of the article was how to derail a negotiation by using distraction techniques. The purpose of doing so was to escape talks in which you no longer wanted to engage or be committed.

If you’ve been in a negotiation that was to your disadvantage or felt the outcome might not be to your liking, continue. You’ll discover how to use distractions to escape or benefit your position in a negotiation. You’ll also uncover tools of interruption that you can use to prevent other negotiators from using this tactic against you.

 

Why are distractions used in a negotiation?

  • Distractions are used to thwart the initiative of the other negotiator – because the person with the initiative controls the flow of the negotiation for the time he has it. Someone can also regain control of a discussion by using distractions.

 

  • If you need time to consider other options, you can use distractions to facilitate your needs.

 

  • A negotiator uses distractions in an attempt to belabor the other negotiator’s concentration.

 

  • Distractions can be used to limit and confuse the options of the other negotiator.

 

  • They can also be used to psychologically wear down the emotional abilities of a negotiator’s opponent.

 

  • Distractions are also used as a tool to alter a negotiator’s position.

 

  • They can also be used to interrogate the other negotiator (e.g., you knew there was a price drop before, didn’t you?) Meanwhile, the conversation was about terms – the distraction was an attempt to shift topics to alter the thought process of that negotiator.

 

In the planning stage of your negotiation, assess how you might be distracted, and the possible reason that might be behind such efforts. Then, prepare a plan for how you’ll deal with them.

 

How might you be distracted?

A good negotiator may use distractions to draw your attention from a weak point in his offer, and thus cause your position to become more vulnerable. He may also use it to give the appearance that his proposal is better than it appeared. He might do that to give the impression that your options were limited.

There can be a myriad of reasons to distract a negotiator from the current path he’s on, disrupt the plan you have for the negotiation, etc. Note when someone attempts to distract you, the reason they may be doing so, and where they’re trying to take you mentally. Unless you’re able to control the distraction, don’t become distracted.

 

What makes some distractions better than others?

The answer, in short, is the situation. Some situations may be direr than others. Thus, the distraction you choose to implement will determine the outcome of that situation. And that’s what makes some disruptions more potent than others.

To assess the best course of action to adopt, consider your position, the outcome you seek from using a distraction tactic, and how the other negotiator might respond. Once you have that perspective, implement your action, and observe the initial outcome. If you’re successful, note what occurs going forward. A good negotiator may affect a charade to gain further insight into your ploy. If your efforts are not successful, use another strategy to interrupt what’s occurring and see if that one fairs better.

 

How might distractions be used?

Distractions may be employed to position an uncertain opportunity to cast dought on that outcome. As an example, if a negotiator thought the result of the negotiation might cast him in a bad light with others, he may intentionally detract his ability to negotiate effectively. That would be the setup for him to later talk about how the process was unfair. In so doing, he’d get ahead of a potentially adverse event, while providing a reason for it before it occurred. That might also be the justification he needed to reopen the negotiation while aborting the agreement that came from the initial deal.

 

Protecting Yourself From Distractions

The best way to protect yourself from distractions is to understand the intent of the action. If you’re involved in an intense negotiation, and your counterpart suggest you take a break and discuss other matters, his intention may be honorable. But keep in mind that a good negotiator can also use a timeout tactic to change your mood for his purposes. Thus, you must be mindful of the current climate of the negotiation, question how it got to that point, and have an idea about how to alter it. That way, you can use the timeout to your advantage, or not accept the offer and continue plowing ahead.

Once again, distractions can be advantageous to your position. But only if you control what occurs during the disturbance and where it leaves you when it’s over. Also, you can invent a distraction for any reason that suits your purpose. You’ll gain insight per how the other negotiator responds in that situation, which will also give you more insight into the actions he may take to thwart your efforts. That by itself will be invaluable information to use during the negotiation.

 

Reflection

Always know your capabilities in a particular negotiation, know the environment, and know the abilities of the other negotiator. Having that perspective will help you avoid the distractions that might derail your negotiation. With those assessments, you’ll know your strengths, the other negotiator’s weaknesses, and the best time to negotiate. With that knowledge, you will have enhanced your negotiation efforts. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

Categories
Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“How To Avoid Risky Anchoring Mistakes In A Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To prevent mistakes from slowing your negotiation, place your anchors carefully.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)     Click to get the book!

 

“How To Avoid Risky Anchoring Mistakes In A Negotiation”

 

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating!”

 

He entered the negotiation and informed the other negotiator that his best offer was $10,000. The other negotiator said, “sorry, the asking price is $75,000 – we’re too far apart to continue unless you’d like to make a reasonable offer.”

With that, both negotiators had anchored the negotiation. And one of them wondered to himself if he’d made a mistake. He questioned whether he’d just placed himself in a position to swim in quicksand. Continue, and you’ll find out why he had that thought.

 

How Anchoring Works

Anchoring is a negotiation maneuver that negotiators use to set the expectations of the other party. That’s its sole purpose – to set guidelines in which aspects of the negotiation will occur. By establishing those standards, negotiators create boundaries in which the negotiators will haggle.

 

What Makes Anchoring Risky

Some negotiators are not aware of what they should offer, how to make counteroffers, or how to position themselves. And since they’re not sure of what they might encounter from the other negotiator, that negotiator doesn’t know which tactics to employ. That uncertainty sets him up to become maneuvered. And anchoring is the factor that determines the degree that he might become maneuvered.

When a negotiator invokes anchoring, he sets a proverbial marker in place. And that marker establishes a boundary. While it can be artificial, for the time it exists, it defines an aspect in which the negotiation will occur. And not until one of the negotiators makes an offer are new boundaries set. But the interaction that goes into reframing those boundaries is what can determine the flow and outcome of the negotiation. Thus, negotiators must always be cautious about the anchoring techniques they use in their attempt to control the interaction and actions of the other negotiator.

In the opening dialogue between our negotiators, one made the initial offer of $10,000. The statement, “we’re too far apart to continue unless you’d like to make a reasonable offer,” rebuked him. Embedded in that response was, your offer is ridiculously out of bounds, get serious. The statement also risked initiating bruised feelings, which can have negative implications for the negotiation going forward.

Suffice it to say. Anchoring occurs naturally as the result of the offers exchanged between negotiators. But the way someone makes an offer determines how well the negotiators will engage one another. Do that incorrectly, and a mistake will occur that will impact the outcome of the negotiation.

 

Anchoring Quicksand

The challenge that makes anchoring dicey is the boundaries it sets and the emotions it can evoke. There are many nonverbal signals conveyed in the offer made to anchor the opposing negotiator. Some messages can create the impression that a negotiator lacks seriousness or one in which he feels the other negotiator views him as being ‘less than’ capable of ‘playing’ in an environment. He might imply that as stating, that he’s not ready for the big leagues – come back when that changes. From there, bruised feelings must be attended, which incorporates an entirely new set of challenges.

The other challenge with anchoring is, if your initial request is too high, you run the risk of not getting an offer. If it’s perceived to be too low, others may question the validity of your offer’s value, or you may leave an opportunity on the table. In both situations, you’ve harmed your negotiation efforts. Thus, before extending an offer, be mindful of the position the offer will place you in as you engage the other negotiator. Because, even if you back away from your initial anchor offer, which is what occurs in most negotiations, you’ll have to do so in a manner that doesn’t place you in an unfavorable position from which to continue your efforts.

 

Anchoring Attempts To Be Mindful Of

  • Concealed – I’m going to be fair with you. Will you do the same for me? An attempt to anchor one negotiator to the perspective of fairness became initiated. Since no one defined ‘fair,’ a concealed message resided in it. While the request can convey sentiments of being open-minded, it can also transmit other thoughts. When a negotiator makes a statement about being fair or any nebulous appeal, question the exact meaning they’re applying to their request. In so doing, you’ll have a greater understanding of what that person is requesting and to what degree you can agree to it.

 

  • Backdoor – This type of anchoring ploy is employed when a deal is close at hand, and one of the negotiators makes a statement such as, “I just remembered, I’m not allowed to exceed the limit of your offer. I need the authorization from my superior to meet your request. And that might take days, weeks, or months.”

An emotional game has occurred in that situation. One negotiator thought the deal was in the process of being consummated and whoosh, it disappeared before his very eyes. That can be the mental shove that causes that negotiator to make concessions to avoid the timeframe it would take to get the deal approved. If you’re the negotiator that’s being maneuvered by this ploy, don’t make an initial concession. Probe by asking questions about how the other negotiator forgot his limit, why you should believe that he’d have authority to conclude an agreed-upon outcome, etc. You need to put that person on the spot to prevent him from using the same tactic again. Plus, you must display through your actions that you will not blindly accept an excuse that may be flimsy or a tactic he’s using.

 

Reflection

Mistakes naturally occur in negotiations due to anchoring misperceptions and their application. To reduce the conflicts that such mistakes can have in your negotiation, consider how you’ll use anchoring and the possible impact it’ll have throughout the talks. Yes, negotiators make mistakes in their negotiations, but anchoring doesn’t have to be one of them. By controlling how you employ anchoring, you’ll enhance your negotiation efforts. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Categories
Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“This Is Why You Should Be Aware Of Anxiety Signs” – Negotiation Insight

 

“Anxiety can be food for motivation. It can also be the liquor of despair.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

 

 

“This Is Why You Should Be Aware Of Anxiety Signs”

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.”

 

He yelled at the top of his voice, “I’m not going to take this anymore!” To which the other negotiators that were at the table looked in amazement and said, “gosh, all we said was, good morning.” That’s a little tongue-in-cheek. But I point it out to highlight what can occur when anxiety besets you in your negotiation.

Since you’re always negotiating, anxiety affects the interactions you have with other people. And that’s the reason you should be aware of the signs that indicate the rise of uneasiness in you and others. It can create a mindset that undermines the activities you and they engage in, which can lead to diminished outcomes, leading to a state of depression. And you don’t want that to happen to you, do you?

The following are signs that signal anxiety and what you can do to beat-back its attempts to wreak havoc on your opportunities.

 

Anxiety Challenges

Yes, it’s true. Anxiety can fuel your efforts. But too much tension is like being overly caffeinated. It can be the cause of your lack of proper functioning. You may have heard about performance anxiety. It relates to worrying about whether you’ll be able to perform so much that your performance becomes hampered.

Suffice it to say, when you sense the signs of anxiety, initiate controlling factors to reckon with it. That will allow your early warning system to gear up to determine how you’ll respond to what you’re experiencing. It’ll also put you in a heightened state of preparedness to control the direction you’ll take anxiety in, and not the uncontrolled path that it might take you.

 

Mental Anxiety

  • The psychological, mental manipulation that occurs in the mind of someone experiencing anxiety can lead that person to misperceive the intent of other people. And that can lead to a lack of trust, which can lead that individual into believing he doesn’t fit into some environments. That perception can destroy relationships, which might decrease future opportunities.

 

  • Misperception of reality can be a side effect of mental anxiety. That condition can cause the person afflicted by it to imagine an unrealistic perspective of what’s occurring in his environment.

 

  • Stress and mental anxiety are associates that feed one another. That’s to say, fear, a stimulant of anxiety, feeds nervousness. And that fuel feeds stress. Thus, another benefit of controlling anxiety is the benefit that stems from less pressure, less strain, and less tension.

 

Sleep Problems

How do you feel when you’re sleep-deprived, groggy, irritable, short-tempered, tired? Do you consider how that will affect that day’s activities? Sleep deprivation can be the cause of negative thought processes. It can also enhance the degree of angst you experience, which is another reason you must be vigilant of the signs that announce anxiety’s arrival. Thus, forsaking good sleep habits exposes you to more stress, which leads to more anxiety.

 

Concentration Difficulties

“I can’t focus! And that’s bothering me.” Many people have spoken those words. Those that did were expressing their bouts with concentration. I’m sure you’ve made such comments. Because a lack of focus has most likely happened to you more than once in your life. Slow cognitive abilities, due to a lack of concentration, can be a sign that anxiety is belaboring you. It can also be the driver that takes you deeper into a state of fear, dread, and despair.

When you experience a lack of concentration, examine the signs that led to it. Thoughts to consider are, did it occur due to sleep deprivation, an overload of activities, the feeling you don’t measure up in your environment. You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know the source of it. Thus, identifying its source gives you insight into what to address. That alone should begin to decrease your lack of focus because you’ll have the awareness needed to correct the situation.

 

Excessive Worrying

He told his 45-year-old daughter that she should address a different course of action to remain safe. She rebuffed him by stating that she’d exercise caution. But that didn’t decrease the dread he felt for her safety. She attempted to reassure him again with her statement. But it only added to his anxiety because he could not stop the strangling thoughts that stifled his mind. One thing led to another, and father and daughter agreed to decrease the conversations they had with each other. The thought being, if the father didn’t know about his daughter’s activities, he wouldn’t worry about her because he’d be unaware of what she was doing.

Do you find yourself obsessing over aspects of your life, due to events that you can’t control? When do you feel besieged by problems? Do you note when it occurs, versus when it doesn’t? It’s essential to make and be aware of that assessment. Because, as already stated, by identifying when any form of negativity occurs, you have a better chance to address it before it becomes more uncontrollable. Be kind to your mind. Note the signs that indicate excessive worrying. Release the unnecessary pressures that build on you. To lead a more fulfilled life, remove the mental weights that weigh you down.

 

Reflection

When addressing signs of anxiety, first, recognize those signs exist. Then, you can begin to address them. And, to alter your perspective of something you see as overwhelming, consider looking at its less significant parts versus its whole.

Addressing smaller segments of a challenge allows you to see yourself making progress. That should motivate you to tackle the next aspect of it. The implementation of this tactic will lower your anxiety, which should allow you to drive forward faster with a less cluttered mind. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Do You Know Why Anxiety Signs Signal Direct Danger” – Negotiation Insight

“Anxiety can lead to danger. And like EXIT is within anxiety, exiting anxiety is how to avoid danger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click to get the book!

 

“Do You Know Why Anxiety Signs Signal Direct Danger”

 

No matter your environment, your mental strength, or discipline, pay attention to your anxiety levels – because they can debilitate you! Anxiety can turn a happy person into one haunted by despair.

Make no mistake; anxiety is serious and something of which to be mindful. The following are signs that you should be aware of and why it matters to your wellbeing. Please do not go sheepishly into the night, thinking you’re immune from anxiety. Heed these warnings!

 

Signs of Anxiety

Frequent sighing – Frequently sighing can be the announcer of anxiety’s arrival. When you find yourself committing this act, note it. And identify why it’s occurring.

Feeling besieged – When you feel the walls closing in, that can be the sensation of a smothering environment. It can also be another sign that you’re sensing or experiencing anxiety.

Frequent disputes with others, for whatever reasons, but in particular, because they don’t view things the way you do, can lead to or instigate anxiety. Be aware when you’re in such environments.

Perceived time pressures – When you feel the pressures of addressing activities building on you, realize where such pressures may lead. And understand, by thinking about all of those activities, you’re adding to, not deleting from, your stress quotient.

The anticipation of coming events – Smart people prepare for the future. They do so by engaging in actions today that’ll get them closer to tomorrow’s goals. And sometimes, when smart people think about activities they’ll have to participate in, they become stressed from the anticipation of those events.

When I was a child, my grandmother told me not to borrow trouble. Which meant, prepare for the future, but don’t let thoughts of your inadequacies trouble you in the present time. When you control your mind, you control your thoughts. I never forgot my grandmother’s sage advice. I offer it to you for your guidance.

 

Why It’s Important To Control Anxiety

Anxiety leads to mental anguish, which alters your perspective about people. That can lead to a lack of tolerance for those that you might otherwise admire.

It’s a gateway to depression, which can decrease your mental abilities per how you interpret situations around you and your circumstances.

It decreases your degree of patience with yourself and others.

Mental exhaustion can come from anxiety.

And it can induce an altered perspective of reality, which can deter you from addressing your goals and team activities.

 

Ways To Combat Anxiety

Precursor

Be prepared to confront anxiety by thinking how you’ll offset it when it occurs. Which means you must identify it the moment it happens. Then note where it’s leading you. To do that, observe your emotional and physical feelings. You may experience a sense of quickened emotions, due to the perception of activities colliding that need your attention. You may even note your anxiety in your pace of speech, stammering, or in the way you’re breathing. All are signs to observe because they’re signals that you’re walking into a darkened state indicating the possibility of mental debilitation.

 

Control

To combat anxiety, think about what you can control. If aspects creating the stress stems from activities you can’t control, accept that fact, if only for the moment. Do other things to take your mind off what’s creating anxiety – play games – watch a movie – meditate – do something to relieve the pressure that’s building inside of you. The point is, don’t allow stress to enter your domain because you’re concerned about activities you can’t control.

 

Sources of Input

Be aware of the source of your information and the credibility you lend to it. Some people view sources as being highly valid, while others may see them as peddling fake news. Thus, if surrounding individuals hold contrary opinions to yours, your interactions with them may lead to heighten differences of beliefs. And that can serve as a point of escalation that leads to more anxiety within you. Therefore, to better control yourself, control the environment you’re in, and what you allow that environment to implant in your mind.

 

Think Through It

Think about the lessons you’ll learn and how those insights will be beneficial to you in the future. Imagine being on the other side of what’s causing your anxiety. It can be challenging to imagine happy times when you’re in the throes of despair. But like the current situation that may be causing you angst, this too will pass.

 

Have Fun

When you’re in a state of stress, thinking about having fun can be the furthest thought in your mind. But that’s what you should consider doing. Having fun, laughing, thinking positive thoughts, will lift the angst of anxiety off you. Even if it only does so for the moments you’re engaged in those happy activities, the bombardment occurring against your mind will decrease. And that will allow you a respite from the anxiety that’s bombarding you.

Reflection

Sometimes uncertainty spreads faster than reality, which can increase your degree of stress that leads to danger. Whether you’re in a negotiation or thinking about one, anxiety will hurt you mentally by overburdening your mind. And that additional tax can lead to more stress, which will cause you not to think clearly. And doing that could lead to disastrous results, no matter what activity you’re engaging.

Thus, always strive to reduce anxiety as soon as you recognize its signs. Doing so will allow you to avoid danger. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Negotiator – Do Not Be Fooled By These Amazing Mind Games” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Mind games can lead you astray if you don’t control the games your mind plays.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book! 

Negotiator – Do Not Be Fooled By These Amazing Mind Games”

 

When do you fall prey to a negotiator’s mind game? An associate wanted to invest in computer software that would enhance his small business operation. He did his research and found a service to purchase. When he saw the offer, it said, “save $30 off of the yearly subscription.” The price was $159. He got busy and forgot to make the purchase. When he went back the following week, the cost was $189. And it had a red slash through a price indicating, “normally $229.”

What happened? A mind game, known as negotiation jujitsu, had just been perpetrated on the associate. It’s a maneuver a negotiator uses to alter the perceived value of an item to increase your desire to have it.

Some people are motivated by gain. But more people are driven by the fear of losing something. So, when a negotiator attempts to use one of the following tactics against you, understand what he’s doing. And don’t be fooled by the mind games he employs to manipulate your mind.

 

Authority Figure

If a negotiator knows you follow a particular authority figure, he may attempt to sway your perspective by invoking that figure. The effort might go something like, “you know that Mr. X uses this product, right? So, if it’s good enough for him, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s right for you, right?”

While he may place his suggestions in the form of questions, he may also state them as facts, depending on which way he believes you’ll become swayed the most. The point is, you must prepare yourself for either. By doing so, you’ll insulate yourself better to combat this ploy.

 

Vanity

“Oh, my goodness! You look great in that. I can see heads turning to look at you. You’ll be the envy of your peers!” This ploy attempts to stoke your vanity. And, it’s usually successful when employed against someone seeking to have his ego stroked.

Everyone likes to receive compliments. What you must weigh is the sincerity of the praise. Since there’s no inherent cash value applied to vanity, only allow it to factor into your decision proposition when it adds value to the outcome. Otherwise, keep it in check when making your decisions.

 

Simple Mind Games

Scarcity – only a few left – someone just ordered the last one, but since you’re here, you can have it.

 

Last One – we just sold the last one – wait a minute, let me check in the back – I remember seeing one some time ago – hopefully it’s still there.

 

Ending Soon – The sale will end soon – if I were you, I’d get it now and take advantage of the lower price.

The examples just mentioned are the simplest of mind games intended to make you take quick action. And yet, they can be very effective against those that are not savvy about such tactics. Even more insidious is the close tie that scarcity has with the ‘last one’ ploy of an item. When someone attempts to use such tricks against you, disconnect your heart from your decision, and instead, use your head. And don’t allow yourself to be moved to action if it’s not right for you.

 

Timing of Offers

Offers have more potency depending on the occurrences surrounding them. Thus, you should always consider the timing of a negotiator’s offer. Because, in some cases, the timing factor can appear enhanced for bogus reasons.

As an example, if a seller of real estate indicated that he had to liquidate a property, due to financial hardships, potential buyers might assemble thinking they were in for a bargain. In this case, the reasoning tied to the timing of the offer is the seller’s financial hardship. Then, when the buyers begin competing against one another, for what may have been a bargain, some might get caught up in the process. And that might be the catalyst that causes them to exceed the cost of what they initially envisioned as a fantastic opportunity.

When contemplating the timing of an offer, consider the reason given for it, and the possible frenzy that it might create. While the timing of some proposals may be valid, per a negotiator’s claims, it’s also a tactic that savvy negotiators use for manipulation. By being observant of the possible intent of an offer’s timing, you can subvert the possibility of it manipulating you. And that will place you in a better position from which to negotiate, or not.

 

Negotiating Against Yourself

The seller said, “if that’s your best offer, I’ll consider it. But other offers will probably be better.” Okay, I’ll increase my offer, was the buyer’s response. Several things occurred in this exchange.

Number one, the buyer was negotiating against himself. That means he didn’t ask about the other offers before he increased his. Never increase an offer without really knowing who’s opposing you. And identify why you should raise it, if at all, based on what others are doing.

That leads to point number two. The seller said, “other offers will ‘probably’ be better.” The emphasis being ‘probably.’

When someone makes an assertion placed in the form of a probability, pause – always listen intently to the words one uses when they make an offer. In this case, the seller was implying that an occurrence might ensue, but what he was also relating was that it might not happen.

When you hear language that’s not absolute, question the probability of its occurrence. Also, inquire about the likelihood that others will make a higher offer, the timeframe in which they might do so, and why they might do so. Plus, ask about the probability of the other negotiator accepting your offer if you increase it.

Always make the other negotiator work for what he receives. He’ll have greater respect for you and your abilities when he senses he’s earned what he obtained. One way to do that is through the questions you ask. That will also inform him that you’re not someone that can be moved mindlessly towards a direction that suits his needs.

 

Reflection

The best defense against someone’s attempts to use mind games against you is to understand their intent. Since good negotiators involve your emotions in a negotiation psychologically, you must be prepared to protect your feelings. Because, if you allow your emotional mind to control your actions instead of your head, you may lose the negotiation. But if you use your head to control your emotions, you’ll come out ahead. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“There Is Powerful Value In Asking For More Right” – Negotiation Insight

“The probability of getting what you want lies in the way, when, and how you ask for it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

 

“There Is Powerful Value In Asking For More Right”

 

No matter what you ask for, there’s value in asking for it the right way.

 

The buyer asked the seller to lower his price. The seller’s response was, “wait a minute. If I lower my price, I want to make sure it will still cover my cost.” Then he said, “okay – I’ll lower it.”

In that split second, two things occurred. One, the seller lowered his price. And two, the seller had given valuable information about the margin on the product he was selling. The buyer thought, “that margin information has value.” I’ll use it in our next negotiation. And, the buyer enhanced the probability of getting the seller to lower his price by doing several things right. Those factors are tools that good negotiators consider and use in every exchange they encounter. Continue, and you’ll discover what they are.

 

Timing of Request

The timing of your request adds or detracts from the probability of your receiving it. Therefore, consider the following factors before making your request:

Setup – Sometimes, you can enhance a request by doing it in stages. As an example, if you wanted something that you thought had a low probability of being granted, you might ask for something less to build up to your ultimate request. Some negotiators call this the salami technique. You get a little of what you want now and more over time.

State of mind – When making a request, another point to consider is someone’s state of mind. When a person is happy, their demeanor is more amenable, compared to when they’re in a dour state of mind. And depending on what you’re requesting, someone’s grim state of mind might be the right mindset for you to make your request (e.g., when your appeal puts them back into a happier state).

External demands or pressures – Aligned with state of mind is the external influences applied to your subject. Claims that don’t stem from you could offer the leverage needed to give your request more perceived value. Never overlook the external pressures that might be bearing on your subject. They might be the assistance you need to have your request fortified.

Seller/Buyer goals – The tie the bonds the Timing of Request is the seller/buyer’s goals. Without a need, the probability of having your request granted decreases substantially. Therefore, before making a request, understand how it will add value to the goals of that person. If you don’t consider that, you’ll miss a vital aspect of your value proposition.

 

Words/Tonality/Pace

The words used to make requests impact the outcome of that request. Some of the factors to consider are:

  1. Reciting the same words used by your target – Psychologically, parroting someone’s words triggers a subliminal attraction to your request. That’s because, when you use the same words that someone uses, the words sound familiar to them. And of course, they will, because they’re that person’s words. Thus, the person will have a built-in infinity for those words. And that’s what will make someone more susceptible to granting your request.

 

  1. Tonality – Have you ever disliked someone due to the tone they used? Tonality ties critically into word choice. That means you can parrot someone, but if your speech is misaligned, you’ll decrease the chances of having your request granted. To add value to your request, mimic the other person’s sounds.

 

  1. The pace of speech – Another factor to consider when making a request right is your pace of speech. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “that person sounded like a used car salesperson.” And that’s not to demean people in that discipline. It’s to point out that speech pace conveys a sensory perception. Thus, if you talk too fast, some people will inherently distrust you. If you speak too slowly or softly, they may think you’re slow-witted. Use their speech patterns as the guide to how you should talk.

 

Leverage

Remember, when I did you a favor? The invoking of that memory is one form of an attempt to use leverage. And there’s substantial value in it.

I talk about leverage a lot in my seminars and presentations. The reason being, it’s a factor that can give a weaker positioned negotiator more power in a negotiation. And while leverage may not be readily apparent, if you’re able to uncover it, you’ll have a vital aide to assist your cause.

To use leverage when asking for an increase or decrease in an offer, depending on your negotiation position, consider the timing of your request, the needs of the other negotiator, and any time factor they may restrict the other’s ability to acquire the outcome they seek. Using leverage with those factors will strengthen your negotiation position.

 

Value of Information

People don’t realize the value of information. Thus, they freely give it away when they speak. Worse, they give away the right information at the wrong time. And sometimes someone uses that information against them.

The seller that made the earlier statement unknowingly disclosed his margins, which was valuable information for the buyer. The seller could have used that information as leverage by citing it strategically when it served his purpose. As an example, if the seller said to the buyer, “I can’t lower my price – that won’t cover my cost.” He would still be giving insight into his margin, but this time, he’d be using it to justify why he could not meet the buyer’s request.

Always be mindful of the information you give and how you dispense it. There’s value in intelligence. And the way and time that you provide information to others determine how they might use it and the chances you’ll encounter in having your requests accepted.

 

Reflection

Remember, you have the initial advantage in making requests. And that adds value to your ability to make appeals right. Because you’ve had the time to formulate your thoughts – that’s not true for the other person.

Thus, if someone doesn’t go into thought mode, or ask if they can get back to you later, they’re negotiating at the moment. That means the other person will have foregone thoughts about the strategies they’ll use. That’ll put you in a more prominent position while enhancing the chances of you obtaining what you want. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“Negotiator – How To Avoid Catastrophe From The ‘F’ Bomb” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Certain ‘F’ words are more potent than others. Know the ones that move you the most.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)       Click to get the book!

 

“Negotiator – How To Avoid Catastrophe From The ‘F’ Bomb”

 

… and there it was. She dropped it like a missile, falling silently from the sky. She’d done it so stealthfully that her act caught him by surprise and completely off guard. Thus, he didn’t have an immediate comeback. Worse, he fumbled in his mind for a retort and found nothing there. The ‘F’ bomb had just hit him. And it created a mini catastrophe.

As a negotiator, how many times has someone dropped an ‘F’ bomb on you? Were you staggered by its occurrence? There are many types of ‘F’ bombs that a negotiator can employ during a negotiation. And they may not be what you’re thinking.

Continue, and you’ll discover why some ‘F’ words are more potent than others, and how they affect you in a negotiation.

 

Fair

“I want you to be happy with this negotiation. So, I’m going to be fair to you. Will you be fair to me?” The responder said, “I always strive to be fair in my negotiations!” Note that there was a response, but not necessarily to the question asked. The responder knew, the perception of being fair was open to interpretation, which could prove to be a trap in a negotiation.

What’s your perspective about being fair? That’s a question to ponder as a negotiator. The reason being, your view of what’s fair will more than likely differ from your negotiation counterpart. Even when there’s a slight perceptional difference, it can have a significant impact on the interaction that occurs during the negotiation. And that impacts the direction of the talks, which influences the next engagement you have with that person. That’s yet another reason I say, “you’re always negotiating.”

Suffice it to say, the word fair has a significant impact on how parties engage with one another, and eventually, it impacts the outcome of a negotiation.

 

Friend

Let’s be friends. This ‘F’ word conjures up congeniality, non-threatening interactions, etc. For the unsuspecting negotiator, it can be the wolf in sheep’s clothing that takes you to slaughter.

It can be challenging to negotiate with friends. That’s due to the mitigating circumstances of friendships. Thus, want or need to maintain a good relationship could supplant your self-desire for the best outcome. And that could lead you to make more concessions. That’s why you should be on guard when negotiating with friends or those that profess to be your friend. To avoid a catastrophe, set the ground rules ahead of time, so you and your friends are not offended by the negotiation outcome.

 

Feign

“Oh, how dare you make such a ridiculously low offer. I’m offended! Others said you are a fair negotiator, someone that would not try to take advantage of me.”

What just happened? The opposing negotiator may have been feigning bruised feelings due to a counter-proposal or offer you made. What he’s attempting is to get you to behave in a manner that suits his goals for the negotiation.

When you’re in that situation, retort, you’re trying to maximize the outcome just like he’s doing. And then ask what offer he thinks would be good. After he responds, flip the offer, and ask if he’d take it. If he says yes and it’s to your advantage, accept it.

 

Fight

Another ‘F’ bomb to be very vigilant of is the word fight. The other negotiator may present it as “there’s no need for us to fight.” The term itself could evoke bad memories from past battles in you. And that may subconsciously cause you to lower your negotiation guard, due to previous skirmishes you’ve had.

Words have power, and certain words convey more power based on how, when, and with whom they’re used. Keep your wits about you and don’t fall prey when someone suggests you not fight. If you lower your guard, you may be setting yourself up for the negotiation equivalent of a sucker-punch.

 

The Big ‘F’ Bomb

When someone uses this ‘F’ four-letter profanity word, they’re displaying a lack of respect, intimidation, or rudeness. Whichever category they’re in, they’re attempting to alter your perspective by jolting you. They might be trying to shake you out of your state of serenity just enough to make you bend to their will.

If you feel threatened or intimidated, let the other negotiator know, you won’t negotiate under those circumstances. You must be prepared to put an immediate halt to such actions, to regain control of the negotiation, less you give them more life. If you provide the behavior more substance, you’ll only sink deeper into the quicksand of despair, which will be the doorway leading to a catastrophe.

 

Fear

As much as the big ‘F’ bomb might alter your thought process, there’s another ‘F’ bomb that you should be aware of, and that’s fear. Fear can debilitate you, emotionally, mentally, and physically. That’s why it can wreak havoc on your mind, spirit, and soul. It can be daunting to control the perception of fear. But it doesn’t have to leave you in an uncontrollable position.

When you sense fear during a negotiation, assess its source. Attempt to rationally understand what you’re sensing and why you’re experiencing the emotions you have at that point. Question if it was something you saw, heard, or felt. The purpose of identifying the source is to understand the origin of the fear you’re sensing. Once you can identify that, you have a better chance to understand what’s occurring within you. If necessary, call a time-out and back away from the negotiation table. Doing so will allow you to clear your head. It will also let you see what your opponent will do next.

 

Reflection

As a negotiator, I’m sure you’re aware that many distractions can lead to an unsuccessful negotiation outcome. And the use of ‘F’ bombs is but a few of the things that can lead to a catastrophe. To decrease the probability of having your negotiation train-wrecked, observe when and how the opposing negotiator drops the ‘F’ bomb on you. It can be applied haphazardly, or with the intent to cause you mental anguish. Regardless, if you adopt a position to defend yourself, you’ll be positioned better to control the negotiation. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Trust Is The Most Vulnerable Victim Of Fake News” – Negotiation Insight

“Fake news’ purpose is to victimize you to altered realities. And trust is the serum that combats it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)       Click to get the book!

“Trust Is The Most Vulnerable Victim Of Fake News”

Are you a victim of fake news? Be careful how you answer that question. It’ll reveal the perspective and perception you have of the information you consume. And that determines how you live your life. News and information are two factors you use to identify with whom you’ll place your trust. Thus, the reason it’s so impactful. And trust is a factor, that will protect you from, or expose you to being vulnerable to others.

The following are points to be consciously aware of, per the impact that fake news has on your life.

 

Purpose of Fake News

The purpose of fake news is to alter your perspective. Thus, the meaning of fake news in and of itself is not divisive. It adopts a possible sinister effect when it intends to modify your reality and sow discord within you. Worse about the intent to alter your perspective with fake news is the confusion it creates. Thus, in some cases, false stories are planted to produce just enough doubt to cause you to wonder to what degree fake news is real or contrived.

Information

People deliver information with a purpose in mind. And it’s the intent of that message that you should consider when assessing the impact that you’ll allow it to have on you. That raises another point. In some instances, when you’re not consciously aware of the information you’re consuming, you may engage in actions that you’re consciously unaware of – at that point, it would be akin to you, going through the motions. And that’s the point at which you can become vulnerable to the behest of others.

First, as teachers stated, when you were in grade school, pay attention. To that point, heighten your awareness when you suspect someone may be attempting to invade your mental senses with information that doesn’t comport with your feelings. Those feelings might be good or bad.

To increase your perception, ask yourself, what’s the purpose of providing me this information? What actions am I supposed to take after receiving this insight? And, how am I supposed to think differently, now that I have this information, compared to my previous thoughts? The answers may be eye-opening for you.

 

Statements Versus Facts

I remember two friends getting into a heated discussion about the weather when I was in my early teen years. One stated that he’d heard the temperature was going to be 72 degrees that day. The other friend said he’d heard that it would only get to 68 degrees. They went back and forth as to who was right about something that most would say was trivial. The point is, they’d heard forecasts from two different sources. And as I’m sure you know – a forecast is nothing more than a good guess. It’s not the definitive end-all of what an outcome will be.

Some people state facts as certainties. Others pronounce things as facts because of the source from which they get their information. And yet others use misinformation as facts for the divisiveness it creates. The lesson here is, understand someone’s motives for the information they state as being factual.

When you have information in perspective, you can assess its relevancy of importance to other relevant information. That’s another reason you should be mindful of people that present fake or false information per their source. Because, once again, that information will alter your perspective and the way you judge the importance of other information. Thus, fake news could cause you to place less emphasis on a matter than you otherwise would put on it. When unsure of someone’s facts, to the degree that it’s important to you, do your research. And verify the sources of your research information too. That will assist you in not devolving into a more profound sense of uncertainty.

 

Leadership

Even when someone is qualified to lead, or address the endeavors of others, if that person lacks trust, due to fake news perpetrated against them, they stand less of a chance of becoming a leader. If it’s lacking, trust becomes the factor that tilts the scale away from that person, which brings into consideration the degree others will follow them.

Everyone seeks to inspire their followers. If you want others to become inspired by you, deliver consistent messages. That means, don’t state a position one day and adopt a 180-degree stance the next day. People become confused by a lack of consistency. Also, be straight with people. If you must deliver bad news, let people know why it’s terrible. And above all, don’t distribute fake news simply to appease people. Eventually, they’ll see through it and you. As the cliché goes, “you can fool some of the people some of the time. But you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.” At some point, you’re belittling of the truth will catch up with you. And more than likely, you’ll pay a hefty price for the misguided information you spewed.

 

The Blame Game

Fake news, false information, call it the same. As kids, some would deliver untruthful information to absorbed themselves from blame. And those kids became adults that use the same tactic to scurry out of harm’s way today.

When listening to someone’s story, be attentive to what they may be attempting to avoid. Ask yourself, does the story flow logically? Why would others be saying the opposite of what the first person is stating? And question who has what to gain from the stories they’re citing. The blame game can be devastating. But you don’t have to be a victim of it. Avoid it by detaching yourself emotionally from someone’s story. And then assess it.

 

Reflection

To trust your sources of information, you must trust the news you receive. That means being more attuned to what may be fake news. Everyone falls victim to others in their life. If you’re more aware of the information surrounding you, the source of that information, and the intent it’s meant to have on you, you can prevent victimhood from befalling you. Once you do, you’ll have a clearer perspective on reality. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“No Good – This Is Why Tone Matters In A Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Tone matters when no good comes from a hero that doesn’t engage in heroic acts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

 

“No Good – This Is Why Tone Matters In A Negotiation”

 

To what degree do you consciously lend attention to someone’s tone when they speak? It matters, especially in a negotiation. Because someone can use the same words to represent their thoughts. But it’s the tone that lends insight into the intent of those words.

One such example used in the past is, “man without a woman is helpless.” That statement might be confusing to you, as to the intent it’s meant to convey if you didn’t hear the tone of the message. Here’s the second iteration of those words, “Man, without a woman, is helpless.” That statement might become more understanding as to the intent of the speaker. She’s saying that man would be helpless without a woman. And here’s the third iteration. “Man without, a woman is helpless.” This statement carries the sentiment that a woman without a man is helpless. Thus, only when you hear the tone’s emphasis, when someone is speaking, does the meaning adopt more clarity. And in the written form, if the punctuation is missing, the purpose of the statement can also be confusing.

 

What’s Missing

Sometimes, when you’re listening to someone, you focus so much on their words that you don’t hear what they’re not saying. In a negotiation, listening to what’s not said is essential, because the missing words might indicate something the other negotiator doesn’t want to discuss. And that could prove to be vital information to your negotiation efforts.

When people speak, what they omit can be as telling about the message they’re delivering than what they’re saying. Thus, you should always be aware of what someone is saying, but you should also be mindful of what they’re not saying. Being attentive in that manner will allow you to grasp more of the intent of the message they’re conveying and the ones unspoken.

 

Emotional Reaction

Another barometer to observe is how you emotionally feel when listening to someone’s statements. Those feelings may occur within the first few seconds of the person speaking. And they may become altered as you hear more of what they’re saying. Understand what’s happening within yourself. And strive to understand how you’re evaluating what you’re hearing. That will allow you to better assess the meaning that’s being conveyed by the speaker. And making that assessment will enable you to grasp a higher sense of his intent.

 

Order

Another aspect that gives the tone a higher definition is the order in which someone presents their words. Referring back to our example, instead of the statement, “man without a woman is helpless.” Suppose the speaker said, “without a man, a woman is helpless.” If someone stated the latter, there’d be less ambiguity. Thus the importance that word order has when communicating.

 

Sight

Are you seeing what you’re hearing? Does that sound confusing to you?

To better understand what you hear, when face-to-face, listen with your eyes. That means you can gain clues to someone’s intent, based on the gestures they emit when they speak. As an example, if they smile while speaking, the smile may convey sincerity or sarcasm. It would be up to you to discern the intent of the meaning as you further engaged that person. But, regardless of your perception, you’d have more information from which to question the purpose of someone’s words. And that will give you a greater depth of that person’s intent.

 

Actions

Another way to glean insight into the meaning of someone’s tone is to observe the immediate action they engage in after they’ve spoken. As an example, if they step closers to you in a non-threatening manner, that might convey a sense of openness. They may be stating that they’re approachable. At a minimum, they’re saying that they’re not afraid of you. Contrast the same scene, but this time, that person takes a step back while frowning at you. That would send a message that was the opposite of the previous encounter. Always take note of what occurs as someone concludes their actions. The action will give you more insight into the meaning of their words and the next act they might perform.

 

Challenging Premises

There will be times when someone makes a statement that sounds like a question. That’s usually due to an octave increase on the last word placed on the declaration. When you hear such pronouncements, take note and also observe what follows. At worse, the person is not sure of what they’re saying, or they’re not sure how you perceive it. When you sense either, understand that might be a point to challenge the premise of their statement. Doing so will alert them that they can’t just say anything and get away with it. It’ll also state that you may be keener than they thought.

 

Reflection

Many times, the emphasis applied to spoken words alters the meaning of the message, which is why it’s so important to listen to someone’s tone as they speak. That’s even more important when you’re in a negotiation. Because if you miss a vital piece of information, due to your lack of attentiveness, you risk losing the intent of the message. And that can be deadly in a negotiation. Thus, when you’re negotiating or engaged in meaningful conversation, pay attention to the tone people use to emphasize the words they speak. Because someone’s tone matters, per the meaning and possible alteration, that it gives to their message. Being observant will enhance your interactions with them and make you a better negotiator. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

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