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Do You Know Where to Look to Find Yourself?

“A sense of uncertainty arouses the senses of being lost. Avoid the lost sense of uncertainty by truly knowing yourself.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

As we go through different phases of our life, we seek assurances that we’re within the confines of society’s norms. Then, we use that feedback to adjust our actions and the way we interact with others. At some point, we find the wherewithal within ourselves to venture on a path of life that states, we know what’s best for us. That process may take years and sadly, some never discover it.

Some never discover the fortitude within themselves that states they have something of value that’s needed by others. Some never discover the quality about themselves that states that they possess more insight and knowledge than others give them credit for. Some never discover that they are more of what the world needs more of. The reason they don’t or can’t embrace that reality is that they don’t know where to look to find themselves.

No matter what phase of life you’re in, you have a sense of uniqueness that’s of value to someone. Look deeper into the values of those that need your uniqueness to find more of yourself. No matter what setbacks you may encounter, look deeper into how those setbacks occurred, in order to discover the uniqueness that lies within you. No matter what you encounter, look at those encounters for the value they possess. Look at them as a value-add to your life. Then, and only then, will you find that elusive place where you discover more about who and what you are. That will also be the tipping point when you discover more of what you want to be … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you may be besieged with doubt about the strategy you’re implementing. You may ponder the right course of action to adopt due to unforeseen occurrences in the negotiation. During such times, don’t allow despair to surround you. It will stifle your train of thought. Don’t allow hopelessness to engulf you. It will deter you from moving forward. Don’t let fear deride you, it will make you stop dead in your tracks. Instead, when you find yourself perplexed by the thought of inaction, seek attunement with the inner you. Explore the possibility of why what’s occurring is happening and the meaning of it. Be mindful to give the meaning you assign a positive perspective. That will be the doorway that leads from the disruption of darkness into the light. That will also be the doorway that allows you to find more of yourself.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception #rejection #leadership

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5 Ways to Hack Your Way to Winning Negotiations

“Hacking is a way to discover new value. View the value in what you have for multiple purposes.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you hack something or a process, you discover new ways to use new insights to obtain new values. In a negotiation, you can hack your way to winning negotiations by using techniques, strategies, and tactics in different ways.

Hack 1: Define your words. In the above statement, I gave the definition of how I was using the word ‘hack’ in this article; it means to uncover ways to negotiate better by using existing techniques and strategies in different ways. Since the word, ‘hack’ can have negative connotations (e.g. “he’s a hacker”; meaning, he’s not good), I needed to define it for you so you’d understand my intent. Thus, even if a word or procedure has an existing meaning, you can alter it to serve your purposes in a negotiation. If you’re successful, that will give you greater control of the negotiation. It’s akin to the wizard behind the curtain changing the color of the day to suit his needs.

Hack 2: Consider how you can spin an outcome to appear favorable to your position (e.g. after losing a point badly – “they didn’t win. we were positioning ourselves so we’d be in a favorable position for the next phase of the negotiation.”) When spinning an outcome know your intent. If not, you run the risk of appearing foolish or completely out of touch with reality, which in some cases can prove to be advantageous for you, too (e.g. “I don’t know if he’s crazy, or crazy like a fox.”)

Hack 3: Depending on the severity of a negotiation, think of how you can frame someone (i.e. how you wish them and/or their position to be viewed/perceived). In really tough negotiations, some negotiators will take their opponent to the school of dirty tricks. By doing that, they determine how the opponent and/or their position will be unfavorably perceived; you see this occurring more in high-level institutional negotiations, but you also see it occurring in negotiations between individuals that have winning as their sole source of motivation.

Hack 4: Confusion will usually lead to inaction. If you find you’re losing a point that’s vital to your position, try confusing the issue. You can do this by citing sources of disinformation; in a best-case scenario, you would have fomented the disinformation prior to the negotiation. If nothing else, confusion will slow the negotiation down. It can also serve as a bridge to a point that’s more favorable to your position. To be effective, plan how and when you might use confusion as a tactic in your negotiation. Hack 4 can also be incorporated into hack 3.

Hack 5: If you’re knowledgeable about reading body language, there are ways you can send nonverbal signals that enhance or detract from what’s been said. You might intentionally want to introduce doubt into a statement made by the other negotiator, even if you believe what he’s said to be true; do this by tilting your head to the side in an inquisitive manner. Then, allow him to convince you that he’s sincere. Psychologically, he’ll feel good about convincing you, which means you can use his good feeling to keep him endeared to you.

There you have it. Five hacks that you can use to enhance your negotiation efforts. Try them out and observe how your negotiation win rate soars … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#hack #hacking #negotiations #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Is Rejection Leading You?

“Don’t fear rejection. Use it as a springboard to greater growth.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

If no one follows you, will you still lead?

Sometimes, leaders will not be accepted. That can occur even if the leader is good and have positive contributions to make to the rejecter. What do you do, or what have you done, when you’ve been such situations? That’s really the time when you have the greatest opportunity for self-growth. That’s really the time when you stand to learn the most about yourself.

Consider this, if you never experienced rejection how would you recognize it? How would you know how to deal with it?

Dealing with rejection allows you to test your thought process. It allows you to test your resolve. It allows you to give rejection a name and a face. That name and face can serve as a positive or negative motivator; your perspective determines how your perception of rejection is perceived.

Understanding that you give life to ‘rejection’ by the way you define it means, you can give it any meaning that you desire. Give it a positive meaning (e.g. “That’s not rejection. It’s an opportunity to make me better!”)

It’s very important to identify how you react to the perception of rejection because in order to be a leader you have to be able to lead yourself. The only way you can lead yourself is to know what leads you (temps you), why it leads you (it’s allure), and what you should do about it if anything at all. Thus, the feeling of rejection will allow you to lead yourself to despair or exhilaration.

Identifying the reasoning behind your perceptions, where rejection is concerned, will give you a new look into how you motivate yourself, how you keep moving forward, how you stay alive. Once you experience that deeper sense of awareness, you’ll be able to use the perception of rejection as a tool for greater expectation … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Negotiations are 100% focused on the perception of rejection. That’s proven when you misperceive a gesture or offer that you think is against you. Even in that moment, the way you process information may cause you to experience the feeling of rejection.

The next time you sense rejection, slow down. Become reflective and consider what’s happening. Consider to what degree your perception is leading you to a place that won’t serve you. Consider how you can mentally turn your perception of rejection to a thought that serves you better. That will be the beginning of the shift that leads you to be more in touch with yourself. After your perception shift, you’ll be able to alter your perspective and the perception of the other negotiator.

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception #rejection #leadership

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8 Words That Will Make You a Better Negotiator – Part 2

“Words have an impact! Choose impactful words carefully when negotiating, they’ll determine your degree of effectiveness.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

This article is part 2 of a two-part article. It contains an explanation of the second group of 4 words that complete the 8 words you can use to become a better negotiator. Here’s the link to part 1 of this 2 part article  http://www.themasternegotiator.com/8-words-will-make-better-negotiator-part-1-2-negotiation-tip-week/

Now imagine the new you, not limited, because you are instantly free.

There are 4 words contained in the sentence above that will make you a better negotiator. Do you know which words they are, how to use them, and why they’ll give you an advantage when negotiating? After reading this article, you’ll know why those 4 words have such power, and how to use them in your negotiations.

Communications can be challenging when negotiating. That’s one reason why you should always be mindful of the words you use, the impact they’ll have, and how such words will position you in a negotiation.

The 4 words are, now, imagine, limited, and instantly.

4. Now – The word, ‘now’, implies in the moment. You’re not in the past or future, you’re in the present moment. That’s the power of ‘now’. It makes you focus on the situation at hand while clearing the cloudiness that other aspects of the negotiation might present.

Use the word, ‘now’, to focus the other negotiator’s attention on what’s being discussed in that moment. The word can also be used to distract from items that may attempt to conflate matters that may or may not have relevance to the negotiation.

6. Imagine – ‘Imagine’ is a wonderful word to use in a negotiation. It can take the negotiation from the here-and-now to a place where happiness or dread awaits.

You can use the word, ‘imagine’ when you want to transform the other negotiator’s perspective from a more or less agreeable point to one that is more aligned with what you seek from the negotiation. Use the word, ‘imagine’, to allow him to become transfixed in an emotional state where harm does not exist or where it looms voluminously.

7. Limited – This word implies that there’s not a lot of what you’re discussing; “if you don’t grab this soon, it’ll be gone and you’ll miss out.” That’s what, ‘limited’ implies.

Good negotiators will test you when you state that something is limited. Still, if your boast is proven to be true, you’ll move the other negotiator to action by using this word as a call to action. Just be mindful of how and when you use it. If its use is proven to be untrue, you might cause irreversible harm to the negotiation.

8. Instantly – Everyone seeks gratification. For some, the need for such acquisition is greater than others. The word, ‘instantly’, implies that you can have what you seek, right now.

You can enhance a negotiation by giving the other negotiator a sample of what he seeks from the negotiation; make sure it’s something that he really wants. By doing that, you’ll be instantly giving him a taste of what he can acquire if he adopts your position. If this tactic works with him, you will have also uncovered his need for gratification, and to what degree he’s willing to control it to obtain what he wants from the negotiation.

You now have new insights into how the above words can instantly increase your negotiation abilities, and just imagine, you acquired these words for free because you read this article. Imagine what this new knowledge will do for you. Don’t let yourself be limited, use these words in your negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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What Causes Fear in You?

“If you don’t know what to be fearful of, you’ll be susceptible to fearing anything.”  -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you truly aware of why you deal with fear the way you do, the source of your fear(s), and the impact it has on your psyche? Fear can paralyze you if it’s not controlled. Do you control your fears?

… ‘This is really messed up. I’m really afraid!’ Those were the words that a friend stated to me. He was speaking of a situation that had instilled fear in him. When I probed to understand why he was fearful, he said he wasn’t sure, but, he had a gut feeling to be cautious.

Fear ignites a sense to protect yourself. It may do so to prevent what’s perceived as being harmful. It may also do so to keep you within the boundaries that you deem to be mentally safe; just an FYI, preventing what’s perceived as being harmful and keeping you within the boundaries that you deem to be mentally safe are two separate thoughts. They stem from two different sources of motivation. I point that out as something to be cognizant of (i.e. what really causes fear to become born within you and then what causes the flame of angst to burn brighter).

We come into the world with only two fears. They are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. The rest of what we learn of fear becomes a part of us that we obtain as we go through life.

It’s important to know what you fear because without knowing, you don’t know what to combat. Without knowing, you don’t know why you’re fearful. Without knowing, you don’t know if what you fear is real.

As you go throughout your daily activities, pay more attention to what at first appears to be angst, anxiety, an uncomfortable feeling, or whatever label you assign to the beginning of uneasiness. That will be the conscious point that fear begins to grip you. If you note when fear begins to grip you, you’ll have a greater chance of defeating it, before it has a greater chance of defeating you.

Here’s the point. Once you consciously recognize that fear has a hold on you, it’s already elevated from your subconsciousness to your consciousness. That means it was already living in your psyche like a virus waiting to potentially harm you. The sooner you recognize it, the sooner you can deal with it. The sooner you deal with it, the less severe it will be. The less severe it is, the better you’ll be able to control what occurs in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, fear is always at the heart of broken deals, impasses, and the impediment to a successful negotiation outcome. Sometimes, you’re right to be fearful. If that’s the case, you need to identify the source of those feelings. Even if it’s imaginary, there’s a problem because of the way you’re thinking.

In a negotiation, once you become fearful, take note and assess to what degree it will impede the negotiation. Based on its severity address it then, or put it to the side to possibly be addressed later. Don’t ignore it until and unless your sense the fear has abated.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception #fear

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Do You Know the Hidden Secrets of Good Negotiators?

“Good negotiators know negotiation secrets that allow them to be good. To become better when negotiating, learn the secrets that good negotiators know” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Good negotiators know a wide range of hidden negotiation secrets, when to use them, and which ones to use in their repertoire of secrets when negotiating. That’s one of the things that distinguishes good negotiators from not so good negotiators.

So, what are some of the hidden secrets that good negotiators use? The following are a few of those hidden secrets. Using them will give you an advantage in your negotiations.

Reading Body Language:

Being adept, when it comes to accurately reading the other negotiator’s body language, will give you insight into his train of thought, and an edge in the negotiation. As one example, if face-to-face, note the consistency with which his eyes move when assessing information to questions you pose. If you pose questions that he should have to call on by referencing past occurrences, note the direction he looks in to obtain that information. When that pattern breaks, note it, along with the question that caused it to occur. They’ll be insightful information that you can use in that action.

Know What’s Really Important:

If you’re attempting to successfully entice a venture capitalist to invest in your business, you should know the main question she has about the potential investment is, will I make a decent return on my money and how long might it take to do so? The question is important to keep in mind because it’ll be the answer to that question that will determine what motivates her and what it will take to keep her engaged with you.

Throughout any negotiation, know the main points that will keep a negotiator engaged and determine how you’re going to use that information throughout the negotiation.

Emotions/Hot-buttons:

Always attempt to control emotions when negotiating. Emotions add an extra dimension to what is said.

In controlling emotions, you should know the hot-buttons that will push you and the other negotiator from one point to another, per the state of mind you or he will possess once in that state; you should already be well aware of your own hot-buttons.

To gain insight into the other negotiator’s hot-buttons, gather information beforehand about what ticks him off, and what makes him experience bliss. Then, during the negotiation, take note of his reactions when you push his buttons. If he doesn’t react the way you know he’s reacted in the past, you’ll gain insight into what he may be attempting to keep disclosed. If that’s the case, pick at that thing like a bad itch that begs to be scratched.

Good Listening Skills:

Good listening skills encompass not just listening to what’s said, but also listening for what’s omitted, the word choice used, and the way such words are conveyed; we’ve all heard a statement that sounded like a question. Unless you intentionally mean to pose a statement as a question, don’t do it. Also, note when the other negotiator sends hidden meanings inside of his verbal messages; it may mean he’s unsure of what he’s saying, or that he wants you to believe he’s unsure. Probing will uncover his intent.

When momentum is on your side, accelerate the negotiation. When you’re on the defense, slow the negotiation down. It’s the little strategies that you utilize in a negotiation that will pay the biggest dividends. Thus, when negotiating, don’t take small things for granted. It’s the implementation of small things, such as what’s mentioned above, that will allow you to accomplish bigger outcomes in your negotiation. Master those things … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #HiddenSecrets

#psychology

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Perception – Does Being Right or Wrong Matter?

“Constantly test your beliefs. They serve as the foundation from which you view the world, those in it, and how others in turn view you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Too many times, people get hung-up on who’s right and who’s wrong. In reality that’s not what they’re really interested in. They’re more concerned with getting others to follow their lead. Being cognizant of that should allow you to focus more on the outcome you seek in a situation and less on how being perceived as right or wrong will make you feel. If you do identify your feelings as the source that motivates you to adopt one action over another, examine your thoughts to assess why that’s so; it could mean that you’re less interested in the outcome versus the way you feel about the outcome. If that turns out to be the case, you have a completely different ‘kettle of fish’ to deal with, one that’s in addition to the perception of right or wrong.

Once you can boil right or wrong down to its most simplistic form and still get others to follow you, right or wrong becomes immaterial. Recognize that you really don’t want to be viewed as being right or wrong, what you’re really after is to have others agree with your beliefs.

Going forward, when you’re engaged in dialog with others ask yourself, “Am I placing too much emphasis on being right or wrong?” Understand the source of motivation behind your actions to convince others that you’re right. That will be the real key to the impact you have on them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Every negotiator enters into a negotiation believing that her point of view should be accepted by the other negotiator; from her perspective, her point of view is right. If too much emphasis is placed on being right, she may overlook other opportunities to sway her counterpart to the real objective of the negotiation, which is to receive a favorable outcome for her.

Before you can shape someone’s perception, first you have to shape your own. You should have a firm understanding of how you arrived at your perspectives, the value they contain as viewed by others, to what degree they may contain unsubstantiated biases, and how you’ll position them to be viewed as most advantageous by the other negotiator. Once you’ve gathered those aspects, you’ll realize that it’s perception that matters, not who’s right or wrong. That will add a new dimension to your negotiation efforts.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception

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How to Overcome Lost Trust When Negotiating

“One way to overcome the loss of trust when negotiating is not to lose it in the first place.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Trust is the hidden variable when negotiating that possesses silent power in the negotiation. Once trust is lost, a negotiation takes on a persona from which it may never recover. Thus, depending on the severity of lost trust, it may be the death knell of the negotiation.

There are multiple factors that play a role in regaining trust when it’s lost. The implementation of those factors are directly tied to how you wish to proceed from the point of disruption, the outcome you seek from the negotiation, time factors related to future events, and any mitigating circumstances that may cause you to engage/disengage in/from the negotiation.

This article will give you insights as to how you can overcome the loss of trust when you negotiate and turn your efforts into winning actions.

Point of Disruption:

Be observant as to how trust is being evaluated during the negotiation. Such signs will be conveyed through the possible reluctance to believe, follow, or acquiesce to a request and/or concession. Once you sense such hesitancy, address it right then. Don’t let a possible festering thought about trust linger. If you do, you may be setting up the rest of the negotiation to be addressed from a deeper entrenched position on both sides.

Outcome Sought:

Be crystal clear about the outcomes sought by you and the other negotiator. To the degree you have commitments, shine a bright metaphoric light on those agreements and make those commitments known to stakeholders with lots of fanfare. As an aside, be mindful of whom you show the commitments so that they don’t tear them down. In a best-case scenario, you tie/lock the other negotiator to the commitments he states he’ll abide by. Also, limit finger pointing, gloating, and be aware of your verbiage when highlighting agreed on commitments. The wrong word(s), gloating, and/or finger pointing can easily lead to the unraveling of a commitment. To ensure that commitments will be adhered to, discuss with the other negotiator how they will be conveyed when presented to the outside world.

Time Factors and Future Events:

You should always consider the time factor and how today’s negotiation will impact future events. To that end, to restore lost trust:

  1. Sign-off on agreements at specific points in the negotiation and wait to see if deliverables are made
  2. Know hidden power players and their possible reaction(s) about the direction of the negotiation
  3. Have contingency plans in place to persuade power players to positions that are advantageous to you

Mitigating Circumstances:

There are mitigating circumstances that can encompass any negotiation. Such can be caused by the misperception of a word, a misperceived gesture, or just a dislike amongst the negotiators. If you’re aware of any mitigating circumstances that may cause the negotiation to be headed to the negotiation graveyard, consider changing negotiators. New negotiators can see the negotiation through new eyes.

A loss of trust can be a silent death knell in a negotiation but that doesn’t have to be so. The best way to offset its occurrence is to be as forthright as possible as you engage in a negotiation. Of course, that forth righteousness is a two-way street that the other negotiator must also be willing to traverse. Use the suggestions above to offer him the opportunity to do so … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Trust  #psychology