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“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To spot lies, observe body language. Body language will leak lies that words omit.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator”

 

“I wasn’t sure what I was sensing. But the story didn’t seem right. I didn’t know if it came from the man’s darting eyes, or his constant lip licking. He seemed nervous. And that increased my suspicion of his guilt.” Those were the words of a police officer recounting his thoughts to a supervisor. He’d just captured a criminal that had been on the lam for decades.

One researcher found most people lie in everyday conversation. They do so to appear approachable and skilled. As a negotiator, when you assess someone’s possible deceit, what signs do you look for in their body language? Are there other nonverbal signals that you spot that give clues to someone’s degree of truthfulness?

When a person lies, their body emits clues. That’s because our body attempts to stay in a constant state of comfort. And, when it’s out of that state, the body displays signals that account for that lack of wellbeing. The following guidelines will assist you in spotting lies in those that attempt to deceive you. Having this information will allow you to heighten your senses when someone is lying.

 

Reading Body Language

  • Facial Reading
    • Forehead – When someone’s forehead begins to sweat, take note of what preceded that action. While the person may be sweating due to the heat, observe to what degree the sweating continues based on questions posed in the conversation. When coupled with other signs, you’ll have better insight into the person’s deceit or truthfulness.
    • Eyes – In some situations, a lier will avoid eye contact, because they know a lack of eye contact may indicate someone’s lying. And others will maintain eye contact longer than usual. To decern when someone may be lying, observe what’s regular eye contact for that person in different situations. As an example, note their eye movement when they’re calm compared to when they feel threatened in an attempt not to disclose the truth. Even when you first meet someone, within moments of the encounter, you can gauge their altering of eye movement. Note what may have caused it to occur.
    • Mouth – When people lie, and they believe someone may be spotting it, the more they speak, the drier their mouth may become. They may begin to lick their lips to offset the dryness or start to swallow excessively. Pay special attention to this act. While nerves may have a role in their actions, guilt from telling lies may be the real source.
    • Ears – Someone fondling their ears may be indicating that they can’t hear what you’re saying. But constant fondling is usually a sign that they’re attempting to comfort themselves. While they may be nervous, note some of the other signals to assess if there’s more to their fondling.

 

  • Body Reading
    • Neck – Rubbing the neck more than usual is another sign of tension, which may be caused by someone lying. Once again, observe other signals mentioned to gain greater insight into what this clue me be giving you.
    • Hands – Some people cover their mouth with their hand when lying. They’re attempting to hold back their words. If someone makes large gestures with their hands and then begin to make smaller ones while displaying some of the other signals noted, that might be another clue that they’re attempting to shield the lie that they want you to believe is the truth.
    • Fists – Hands that become fists indicate potential hostile actions to follow. That gesture in a tense situation may mean the person is tired of your inquisition. He may be experiencing anxiety from thinking you’re aware of his deceitful pronouncements.
    • Feet – When someone suspects that you’re aware of his lying, he may shift his body and point his feet towards the nearest exit. That gesture indicates that he wants to get out of the current environment because he feels uncomfortable.

 

Conclusion 

As you watch someone’s body language, look for a cluster of actions. No action standing alone can definitively denote their truthfulness. Remember, when someone lies, their body emits signals. Those signals may be fleeting. But, if you’re astute at recognizing them, you’ll be better at catching the lies that people tell. That will allow you to maintain greater control in all of your environments … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Negotiate Better By Knowing What Value Is” Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To understand someone better, understand what they value. Then, seek to understand why they have those values.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Negotiate Better By Knowing What Value Is”

 

What do you know about value?

“… I’m so sorry for your inconvenience. I can upgrade you to a better room.” Those were the words spoken by a front desk person at a 5-star hotel. He was informing a guest of what he could do as the result of the patron experiencing a restless night. The patron’s restlessness was due to his loud neighbors in other rooms on the floor. The patron had begun calling the front desk around 12-midnight to complain. Throughout the night, he called several more times – all to no avail to squelch the noise that prevented him from sleeping. He thought to himself, and this yammering is ceaseless.

When he checked out of the hotel the next morning, he told the desk manager of his experience. The manager extended apologies on behalf of the hotel, stated that the night’s stay would be removed from the guest’s bill and asked if there was anything else that he could do. The patron said no. I appreciate the gestures you’ve made. Then he said, “all I wanted was a good night’s sleep. I have an important meeting today. And I just wanted to be fresh and well-rested.” As he left the hotel, he wondered if he’d ever stay at that location again.

Do you see the difference between how the front desk person and the desk manager addressed the situation? It’s slight. But it’s also powerful. The desk manager extended apologies, and he asked the guest if there was anything else that he could do. He was seeking the guest’s perspective of value. In other words, he wanted to know what was essential to the guest. If you don’t know what someone values, you don’t know what to offer them. That means you’re making blind offers when doing so in a negotiation.

When you negotiate, there are five factors to keep in mind about value.

  1. People have a different perspective on what they value and why. Once you know their value perspective, seek to understand it.

 

  1. Don’t assume because someone is like you that they’ll like you. Even when people have similar values, there will be nuances that separate their opinions about value. To assume you share exact ideals as your negotiation counterpart can lead to offers and counteroffers that are not valued. In a worst-case scenario, such offers can be damaging to your negotiation efforts.

 

  1. When you’re unsure of a person’s value, ask what they’d least like to lose. The reply will indicate what is of most importance.

 

  1. To test someone about their value, ask, “if there’s one thing that I could grant you in this negotiation, what would it be?” Once again, that person’s value proposition will reside in their response.

 

  1. This last suggestion may fall into the red herring category. It entails discovering something you possess that’s of great value to the other negotiator. Entice that person to believe that he can acquire it but at a very high cost. The higher he’s willing to pay for the acquisition, the higher the value of possessing it will be. Be cautious when engaging this means of acquiring someone’s value perspective. If you don’t allow them to receive it after getting them to make substantial offers, they could become unwilling to grant you much after that. Then, the negotiation might hit a roadblock.

 

To become a better negotiator, you must always understand what is of value to your negotiation counterpart. Once you do, making better offers will be more comfortable – because you’ll know which offers possess the highest value … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Value #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Growth Leadership Personal Development

Developing Global Leaders

Globalization in business continues to expand.  The marketplace for goods and services has evolved from local and regional to global.  As a result,  many firms are forced to make the necessary adjustments to compete.  These adjustments include developing technology and logistics capabilities along with leadership talent.   My Ph.D. dissertation was a study exploring how global managers learn the skills to manage across multiple borders and cultures.  The research was conducted by interviewing twenty experienced global leaders that worked in different parts of the world.  This research produced six discoveries about learning to be an effective global or international manager.  For this discussion, the terms leader and manager are interchangeable.

Discovery One

The role of a global manager is very different than that of a domestic manager. It is not clearly defined. International travel is much more challenging. Communicating with people with different languages can be extremely difficult. Understanding the cultures of foreign countries can be confusing and difficult to understand. Business practices vary from country to country and are generally learned from experience and mistakes. Because of these variables, global management is much more complex and requires constant learning and adaptation.

Discovery Two

Global managers must be open-minded and be willing to make mistakes and learn from them.  While some of the methods of learning are behaviors and practices, this discovery indicates that a certain mindset is required to be an effective global manager. Open-mindedness and a willingness to learn from mistakes are prerequisites that enable the global manager’s ability to adapt to foreign countries, cultures, languages and business practices. Conversely, unwillingness or inability to be open-minded and adapt to foreign countries and cultures results in failure in the global manager role. Trying to bring one’s home country practices and approaches to another country is usually met with great resistance.

Discovery Three

These global managers learned that they must respect the local culture, traditions, and practices of each foreign country. Showing respect usually resulted in being accepted and improved cooperation, as well as learning the culture. Some managers conducted research prior to going to a foreign country but found that practice of limited value. The two primary methods for learning other cultures were observing what locals do and seeking guidance from people who were more experienced in a specific culture. Managers found that even if they made mistakes if they showed humility and corrected those mistakes, it was accepted and seen as a sign of respect.

Discovery Four

Communicating effectively is a fundamental requirement for management, but much more difficult in the global management arena. Communication challenges posed from working with people with different languages can be overcome with experimentation and persistence.  Global managers who experimented with different words and visual tools improved their ability to communicate. They also learned that persistence paid off. Trying different questions until a mutual understanding was achieved was helpful. This discovery regarding learning to communicate overlaps with discovery three. Attempting to learn some of the language of the host country is often seen as a showing of respect and results in locals wanting to help bridge the communication gap rather than be put off by it.

Discovery Five

Participants learned that building relationships was critically important. The act of building relationships could be considered a valuable competency in any management and leadership role but was found to be necessary in the global manager role. As with communications and culture, global managers working in a foreign country start off at a disadvantage with relationships. People generally do not trust people they don’t know. Global managers must make an extra effort to build relationships that enhance trust, communications, and cooperation. In many cultures, the relationship must be built before the business is conducted.  There is no guidebook on building relationships that is universal; countries have different business cultures. Global managers use previous discoveries to help with relationship building including being open-minded, experimenting with communication, and showing respect.  One common practice that seems to cross all cultures is having meals with locals to get to know them on a more personal level. Meals are the most commonly discussed practice to break the ice and get to know people in any country. The key discovery was relationship first, then business, not the other way around.

Discovery Six

Global managers benefit greatly by building a network of people who are more knowledgeable about culture, traditions, and business practices in the countries they are working.  The complexity of working in multiple countries and cultures can be overwhelming, and global managers know that they cannot go it alone. They understand that they have significant knowledge gaps when working in foreign countries. To close those knowledge gaps, they build relationships of various kinds that they seek out for guidance. The nature of those relationships includes peer groups of global managers; mentors, both formal and informal; paid agents with expertise in a country and industry; and colleagues from host countries that are willing and able to provide sound advice.  Executive Coaches with global experience can be an asset to help shorten the learning curve.

Summary

Surveys continue to report that international firms lack enough qualified global managers to support their growth.  The transition from domestic management to global management represents a quantum leap in the skills required to be successful.  While global assignments are considered the best way to develop managers, not all managers learn from their experiences.  Learning must be guided and supported.

Dr. Mark Hinderliter is an Executive Coach with extensive international experience.  He has worked with leaders and managers in several countries and on four continents. He can be reached at Mark@thirdwayinc.com.

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Best Practices Body Language Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Is Your logic Killing The Best of Your Argument” -Negotiation Insight

 

“To be successful, know when to use logic or illogic. Either can kill or enhance an argument.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“Is Your logic Killing The Best of Your Argument”

How do you shape your logic before presenting an argument or rebuttal? And, would it be different if you were a whistleblower?

“The whistleblower doesn’t know what happened. He got his information from other sources.” Those were the words reportedly that came from officials at the White House. The words were stated to discredit the whistleblower. In reality, his account appears to be very accurate. And his report was laid out in a very logical format.

 

When presenting information, consider the following seven suggestions.

 

  1. Make your arguments easy to embrace and understand. The more comfortable someone is in adopting a rebuttal, the more likely it is to persuade them.

 

  1. Solicit empathy – When positioning a response to a question, attempt to place it as the other person would. That’ll allow that person to see herself in your response. It’ll also make it more difficult for her to refute it because she would have engaged in the same manner as you.

 

  1. Before exposing your logic, think of where it might lead and how you might defend your position.

 

  1. To make responses more potent, don’t defuse them. Adding unrelated or challenging to grasp information might defuse your position. Adding too many arguments can lead to a lack of understanding of your primary point. Thus, someone may become confused as the result of focusing on another aspect you’ve mentioned and giving that point more attention.

 

  1. Demeanor – The persona you cast is how people will perceive you. Thus, if you threw the image of someone that’s challenging to deal with, you shouldn’t be surprised when someone deals with you in that manner. Conversely, if you position yourself as someone amenable, they’ll tend to respond to you in that manner. There’s always value in positioning yourself to meet the outcome you seek. Know what that is before projecting your persona, and you’ll have a better chance of convincing others to view situations from your perspective.

 

  1. Don’t appear guilty when refuting a claim that’s logged against you. There are times when how you say something is more important than what you say. That’s because people will perceive your words through the body language gestures you emit while speaking. Therefore, if your words and body language are misaligned, and your nonverbal behavior sends signals of guilt, those will be the overriding indicators that are received. Thus, you’ll become viewed as being more guilty than innocent.

 

  1. Acting crazy – “Crazy is as crazy does.” That’s a cliché denoting how some can feign craziness and use it to advantage their position. They’ll be times when it’s appropriate to act crazy. Doing so will ward off some people that might attack you. And others will keep their distance because they’re not sure how you’ll behave or respond in situations. Thus, this can be a very potent tool to use in certain circumstances. Those environments might occur when you don’t want to appear predictable, or when you want your opponent to stay on guard. That diversion can keep his attention focused on other activities.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Every negotiation follows a logical flow. Even when it appears to be illogical, there’s a flow that will become logical. Hence, the better your logic is for what you want to occur during a negotiation, taking into consideration of the other negotiator’s reactions, the greater control you’ll have in that process. That should allow you to control the talks, which in turn should lead to a higher negotiation outcome for you … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Argument #Whistleblower #Logic #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself