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“What Stops You The Most From Being Amazingly Successful” – Negotiation Insight

“Your potential for greater success stops when you give up at your weakest point.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)



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“What Stops You The Most From Being Amazingly Successful”

Are there times when you feel you’re at the gate of success only to find that it’s locked? And you don’t have the key. You believe you’re so close and still so far away. Even worse, do you become frustrated or dissatisfied because you don’t perceive any success at all? Does that cause dismay, despair, or even depression in you?

If so, don’t disband your dissatisfaction factor. There’s nothing wrong with those emotions. If you never have such sensations, you’ll never be as successful as you could become. The reason is, you’d be settling for mediocrity. You would not be demanding more from yourself. You’d be breathing, but you wouldn’t be alive. You’d be a member of the walking dead waiting for your burial time.

Thus, those feelings of dismay, despair, or depression are self-signals summoning you to dig deeper within yourself to find the drive that’ll take you higher. Listen to that desire. It’s your hidden source of motivation that will spur you to greater heights.


Understanding Frustration:

As we go through life, we prepare for what we wish to become – obtain – possess. The more preparation we put into such endeavors, the sooner we expect to receive rewards for our efforts. When they don’t occur according to our timeframe, we become burdened with anxieties. And that can begin the downward spiral of the opposite goal we seek.

Stop the madness! Allowing yourself to become mentally disabled, due to your perception of slow progress, doesn’t enhance your growth. It only slows an otherwise quicker pace at which you could advance. And that’s a dilemma you don’t need. In essence, you won’t improve faster because you’ll be preventing yourself from doing so.


Mindset Shift:

So why do we allow ourselves to fall prey to the traps that lead to immobility? We work hard and do what’s expected to advance. And instead of having a wealth of advancement rushing to take us onto new heights, we appear disabled by the painstaking drip of slow or no perceived progress.

When besieged by the thought of slow or no progress in your life, take time to rest mentally. You may be in a state of mental overload. That state will not allow you to see the preverbal forest for the trees. Clear your mental clutter. Think about the time when you were most successful. Consider what you did to get to that point. There’ll be lessons embedded in that reflection. Thus, you can replicate what you did to become successful in the past. You may have to alter some of those past steps. But there’ll be footprints that can lead you back to a successful path. Success always leaves footprints.

You can continue doing what you’re doing, and you’ll continue receiving the same outcomes that you’ve been receiving. Or, you can commit to alter your thinking and begin to become more successful. Either way, the choice is yours. Choose wisely … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Sometimes you can have the best plans entering into a negotiation and quickly discover that you have to abandon them. That can be due to any set of variables. You misplanned due to your misperception of what was most at stake. You misunderstood the intent of the other negotiator. Or, you became sidetracked by an act of God that you had no control over. Regardless of the reason, if you allow yourself to become frustrated, you’ll begin to lose your mental composure. And when that occurs, you’ve started to lose the negotiation.

In a negotiation, focus on your goals. Instead of becoming frustrated, become fortified. Do so by allowing yourself the mental time and space to reflect on your next actions. It’s better to call a time out than to be placed in a position of being out of time and making a bad deal. If you never act out of haste, you’ll be less likely to make hasty actions. Never forget that hasty actions can cause you to be less successful.


Remember, you’re always negotiating!


Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator


After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com


To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/



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Marketing Personal Development

The benefits of joining a professional association

Want to be discovered by those you serve?

Discover them by joining their groups and associations.

I never felt so naked in my life. 

I kept repeating that sentence to myself, as well as relaying it to anyone who asked, “how’s your Influence experience going?”

Influence is the big daddy conference held annually for the National Speakers Association, and I attended this year’s installment in Denver – not as a photographer, but as a participant.

To give you a little perspective, this was the first time ever that I’ve attended a conference without a camera or the intention of working behind a lens.


And yeah, it was uncomfortable. 

To the point that I made that known to all of my colleagues from the local NYC Chapter when they checked-in with me in between breakout sessions or lunch. 

But, I’m not bringing this up to further shine a light on my shyness – that’s an obnoxiously long conversation for another day!

Despite how weird and uncomfortable I felt walking the halls without my camera, I knew I was in the right place talking to the right people for several reasons.

First of all, speakers and authors are my people.

Not just because they’re the group I serve with my specialized attention behind a camera.

But because they’re amazing artists with skills that I respect and admire.

I am inspired by people who tell stories – impactful, entertaining, thought-provoking and game-changing stories- for a living. 

And I was surrounded by these storytellers for 4 days, soaking in a wide variety of conversations.

Now, some people might say, “well, I follow these people on social media. I already learn what I need from what I read there.”

Sure, you can learn a lot while listening to conversations on social media, no doubt about that.

But, when you’re face-to-face with someone over the course of a couple of days, a certain level of rapport and connection happens that simply cannot happen over a computer. 

You’re sharing an experience together in person, which opens up the honesty floodgates a little wider than engaging a blog article or social media post.

Conversations with fellow association attendees affords you a variety of benefits.

Benefit #1 – intelligence-gathering mission

Although I am not a professional speaker, I attended a bunch of breakout sessions for professional speakers and trainers.

Rather than apply this information to my business specifically, I can use the keywords, phrases and other speaker-centric jargon in my content that I share with speakers, authors, and other expert-based businesses. 

The idea is that if I leverage the verbiage used by the top speakers in the industry, it will help create visibility for my own services because the messages will resonate more deeply. 

In addition to the actual language being used, I also took a laundry list of notes related to other aspects of the business of professional speaking:

  • What other revenue streams do they look to create
  • What marketing strategies and tactics to employ to help raise their speaker fees
  • What types of technology to use to help improve their keynotes

These and many other topics were covered during the conference. 

This type of information is invaluable to me because I now have a unique opportunity to talk about how my services can help them solve these particular challenges.

Benefit #2 – Understand the different levels of clients

While at Influence, I immediately noticed that not every speaker is starring on the same playing field. 

Now, I didn’t need to hop on a plane to find that out.

But, when you’re in conversation with a young speaker starting out and, 5 minutes later, chatting with a CSP, I’m able to quickly understand how some of my services are best tailored for certain levels of clients. 

And more importantly, how to tailor the messaging to attract those types of clients to that specific service and session.

Benefit #3 – Deeper connections with people you already know

While building relationships online is an important aspect of your online presence, the goal is to get those relationships off-line and happening in real life. 

This fact was never more evident than when I was at the conference. 

As I mentioned earlier, I had my challenges initiating conversations with new people and shared this openly with colleagues that I knew. 

To my surprise, they reciprocated their own feelings by sharing with me their own anxieties, frustrations and overwhelm.  

These are extremely successful keynotes, and through these conversations, I realized that no matter what level you achieve, fear, regret, imposter syndrome, and doubt are real emotions that need to be dealt with over and over again. 

I was shocked at some of the stories I heard but was extremely appreciative because they opened themselves up to me in a way that would have never happened had we started an email chain or direct message banter. 

It’s through these revealing, yet cathartic, conversations that strengthened the relationships I have with these speakers, and I feel like the professional relationship has graduated to a more personal one. 

At the end of the day, I aim to work only with professionals that I would consider to be my friends, so, this is precisely why I was thankful for having the opportunity to be in this position. 

When you’re looking to build an expert-based business that serves a specific niche, you need to go where they hang out – digitally and in real life. 

Although the investment can be steep, the benefits are magical.

After all, what’s it worth to your business to engage a room full of your ideal clients face-to-face?


John DeMato is a NYC branded lifestyle portrait photographer and storytelling strategist who serves speakers, authors, coaches and high-level entrepreneurs across the country. His 50+ page e-book, S.H.A.R.E. M.A.G.I.C.A.L. I.D.E.A.S., lays out the how, what and why behind creating a memorable and referable online presence – sign up to get your FREE copy today.