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Growth Management Personal Development

How Are You Expressing Gratitude as a Leader?

There’s all sorts of science out there that supports the notion that gratitude is good for us. Psychology Today, for instance, ran an article not long ago that listed seven “scientifically proven” benefits of having a thankful attitude. Among them: You’ll be more physically fit, sleep better, and increase your mental strength. Plus, you’ll become fabulously wealthy.

Ok, I made that last one up. But if it does happen, you’ll have another reason to be thankful. In the meantime, you might need some other reasons to embrace an attitude of gratitude. But when you’re counting those blessings, don’t limit yourself to the typical personal things like your health, your family, and your friends. Extreme Leaders go further. So, you should also give thanks to the people in your work world – to your employees, your colleagues, and your customers and clients, not just for what they do, but for who they are. That’s one way you demonstrate love as a leader.

Employees

It’s always good to acknowledge people for their work performance – for meeting deadlines, achieving goals, hitting targets, etc. But many of their contributions are hard to measure, even though they add real value – things like compassion, service to others, grit, or honesty. Express your gratitude by rewarding those things. Give someone a bonus or a raise or a gift certificate to the movie theater, for instance, simply because you appreciate who they are. You might have arrived at that appreciation because of their actions, but focus on the actions that are selfless and not tied directly to their performance review – catching them in the act of cleaning the break room or regularly helping co-workers solve problems even when it’s not part of their job description.

Colleagues

I define colleagues as people in my work circle who don’t look at me as their boss. It could be someone on the same rung of the organizational ladder, vendors or other people who work with your organization but not within it.

Because you work with them and around them, these folks provide value through the things they do for you. But you will make their day if you find some tangible way to express your gratitude for their character. You might send a heart-felt email thanking them for always responding promptly to your questions. Or maybe can publicly acknowledge how they handled a difficult situation with a co-worker or client.

Customers and clients

Who among us isn’t thankful for our customers and clients? They keep us in business, right? But how can we thank them for who they are, not just what they do for us?

One way is to nominate them for an award. For instance, some publications recognize individuals and businesses in special issues. You might nominate someone for a 40-under-40 list or nominate a company as best-in-class. Or consider the impact on your best client if she’s driving into work when she hears an ad on the radio and it’s your voice listing her company as one that operates with the values you respect and admire.

You also might even reward them on the spot when you witness them doing something you appreciate. If you own a shoe store, for instance, you could give away something each day to a valued customer. Imagine these words from you or a salesperson: “We noticed how patient and loving you are with your toddler, and we really admire that. Here’s a certificate for a free ice cream cone at the shop next door.”

We all appreciate recognition for helping our teams and organizations succeed. But we also have a basic human need to feel loved and appreciated for something more. Unconditional love says, You are important to me because you are you. The more you share that message, the more trust you build and the more you inspire others.

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Growth Management Personal Development

Counterintelligence Tactics to Help You Hire the Best Candidate

It’s important to do business with people we like, but I confess a tendency to let my emotions drive too many of those types of decisions. I conduct what Justin Recla calls “intuitive due diligence,” and if the other person passes my gut-check, I’m eager to roll forward with a deal.

That’s not a wise approach, Recla says, and he knows a few things about due diligence. The army veteran and his wife, Tonya, both are former counterintelligence agents with the U.S. government. Now they use their expertise to help businesses vet potential new hires or service providers.

Service providers can present a unique financial drain on businesses, especially small businesses. Unlike occupational fraud where, for instance, an employee embezzles money, fraud from bad business relationships often goes unreported. They typically cost a business $5,000 to $15,000, which is enough to break a small business but not enough for an owner to spend $50,000 on legal fees trying to get it back.

Due diligence — intuitive and mechanical — is the key to protecting against the intentional con-artists of the world, but also against potential partners who simply aren’t able to deliver on their promises.

Big businesses, of course, have the budget and staff to vet most new vendors, partners, or service providers. Entrepreneurs and small business leaders don’t. They find themselves in need of a product or service, they find someone who claims they can help, and, if they pass the gut-check, they hire them.

A three-step process, however, can help avoid the lost time and money that inevitably comes from a bad business relationship.

KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW

Recla recommends starting with three questions that force some critical thinking: What do you know about this person? How do you know it? And what do you need to know to make an educated decision?

If the only thing you know about a person is their name and title and the only information you have is from them or their website, then you don’t have enough information. The internet allows everyone to polish up their image. And people who intentionally run scams are going to puff up their websites and exaggerate their experiences.

Figuring out what you really can trust will help you figure out what you need to learn so that you can make a good decision.

ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS

One of the questions Recla asks is, “How do I do my due diligence on you?” Business owners might be taken aback, but they should have some examples – clients you can talk to, samples of their work, etc.

Some other questions he suggests include: “How many people in my industry have you done this for? What was their experience? What’s their contact information? Do you have proof of the work you’ve done? What’s your refund policy? What happens if this doesn’t work out?”

Pay attention to how they provide the answers. If they are unwilling to answer such questions or hem and haw when coming up with an answer, that’s not a good sign.

VERIFY THE ANSWERS

It’s not enough to ask the tough questions. You actually need to follow up by calling the references and digging into the veracity of the answers. Google can be your friend, but keep in mind that some businesses use “reputation management” services to help hide their checkered record.

Recla recommends searching a business or person’s name along with words like scam, fraud, or lawsuit. If all you see is positive reviews, consider that a red flag, because they’re using the keyword to promote a positive review.

“If you’re a legitimate company,” Recla says, “you’re not using the keyword scam.”

The bigger the deal or the risk, the more due diligence you need to take. You might want to investigate the history of the business, examine its practices, and look for indicators that it’s solid or struggling financially.

And, remember, it’s OK to “date.” Sign up for a small project or test run, and see how it goes. Then build toward a bigger, more long-term relationship. “It mitigates the risk,” Recla says.

“If you don’t do the mechanical due diligence, you’re going to lose time and money in the long run,” Recla says. “But even if the business is legit, you don’t want to get three weeks into the relationship and find out the person’s a jerk or has a huge ego, and now you don’t want to work with them. So there’s an intuitive piece that’s important. You have to do both.”

[This post was originally published on my weekly column at Inc.com]

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Best Practices Growth Leadership Personal Development

5 Easy Steps to Writing Your First Book

“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases, that’s where it should stay.” – Christopher Hitchens (maybe)

There are several variations of that quote and some dispute as to who first came up with the snarky witticism. But one thing’s for certain: It wasn’t Keith Leon. The co-founder of Leon Smith Publishing has been helping would-be authors become published authors for nearly 15 years.

As the author of three books on extreme leadership, I’ve long been a student of good writing and of writing processes. So I was curious about the advice Leon offers when he speaks to groups, teaches writing classes, or mentors individuals who want to turn their message into a book. Here are five tips he shared with me during a recent conversation:

  1. CREATE A ROADMAP

Most folks give up on their idea because they start without knowing where the book will begin or where it will end. A roadmap provides the path.

Once you decide the type of book you want to write – a memoir on launching your business, for example – start by writing down a series of one-line answers to a simple question: “If I were to write this book, what would I want to share?”

Don’t worry about the order. Just brainstorm things like key stories and processes. Keep writing them until you look at the list and say, “That’s it. That’s what I want to say in my book.”

Then make a second list using the first. This time, ask, “Who wants to go first?” Inevitably, one will jump up and say, “Me! Me! Me!” If not, ask, “Which one feels easiest?” Then ask who wants to go next and keep going until you have your roadmap complete.

  1. START WITH WHAT FEELS RIGHT

The roadmap provides the path the book will follow, but not necessarily the path you’ll take to write it. Begin by writing the chapter that feels “juiciest” or “easiest,” Leon says. Then do the next one that gets you most excited. And so on.

“You build momentum, and it doesn’t feel like a chore,” he says, “so you keep coming back.”

  1. FINISH WHAT YOU START

One of Leon’s rules is to complete the chapter you start before moving on to another chapter.

I didn’t quit my day job when I wrote my leadership books, so I know this challenge well. When you step away from your writing project for a few days, sometimes you return to find the chapter you were working on no longer is the “easiest” or the “juiciest.” If that happens, Leon says, re-read the last few pages of what you’ve written in the chapter. That’s usually enough to get you back into it and rolling again. But don’t leave it unfinished, because that’s just asking for trouble.

“If you have a chapter that’s undone, your subconscious knows it and it’s hard to complete the next one,” Leon says. “Then you get writer’s block, which is really just a pissed off inner child, right?”

  1. HONOR YOUR INNER CHILD

Leon tells his students to set an alarm and write in 50-minute blocks. When the alarm goes off, get up and do something else – stretch, go outside, put on some music. Do something for your inner child for 10 minutes. Then have a conversation with your inner child – out loud – before you return to your writing.

“OK, it’s my time to play,” you say. “But don’t worry. I’ll be back in another 50 minutes.”

Many of Leon’s students resist this idea, he says, but they inevitably find it “profound” after they give it a try.

  1. WORRY ABOUT THE ROCK, NOT THE DIAMOND

We’re conditioned to think that what we read is exactly what an author wrote. New authors can tend to expect perfection in the first draft, and that seldom happens. Writing is an artistic process that’s sometimes sloppy. Books go through revisions and an editing process. And editors, as Leon points out, take your rock and polish it into a diamond.

The freedom in knowing someone has your back allows you to focus on writing without judging what you’re writing.

“I encourage people to free-form write,” he said. “Then read it one time from beginning to end. If something makes you want to hurl, change it. If not, keep it.”

Then let the editors take over.

Leon’s advice here applies primarily to non-fiction books. Some authors also use it with novels, while some stick more to a storyboard. But if you’re convinced you have a story to tell or a message to share – fiction or non-fiction – and you aren’t sure how to get it from your head and heart to a finished document, Leon’s roadmap will show you a way.

 

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Growth Leadership Personal Development

How To Let Go of Perfection and Pursue Happiness

Ever noticed how the drive toward perfection that fuels our success also ends up running right over our happiness?

Call it the Perfectionist’s Dilemma.

Yes, the pursuit of excellence pushes us toward greatness. But as Dr. Marissa Pei points out, it typically leads us into a cycle of perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis that never ends in happiness.

Pei is an organizational psychologist who’s gone from college professor to corporate consultant, executive coach, inspirational speaker, radio host, and author. Perfectionism, she says, is one of the eight ways we rob ourselves of happiness.

“I can speak to all of this,” she told me, “because I am a recovering perfectionist.”

Pei was working on her next book, The Eight Ways to Happiness, when she came up with eight “balancing tools” to help perfectionists rediscover our happiness. Obviously, we must start immediately and execute these tools perfectly. … OK, let’s just do our best.

BAKE YOUR OWN CAKE

Perfectionists typically crave external validation. We need some way to measure what’s “good enough,” so we go by what others say. Instead, we need to get to the point where we’re happy with the cake we’ve baked, and any compliments (or criticisms) that come later are just icing to go with it.

When Pei turns in for the night, she doesn’t think about what she didn’t get done. She simply asks herself if she did the best she could with the time and resources she had. Most nights, she said, the answer is, “Yes, I did. I baked my cake, and it’s good.”

NAME YOUR CRITIC

Perfectionists have an inner voice that tells us we should have done more, we need to do more, or otherwise questions our every move.

Give your critic a name and have a conversation with him or her. Pei’s critic, for example, is Rose. When Pei feels beaten up or like she’s focusing too heavily on criticisms, she puts Rose in her place.

“You got to be really tired,” she’ll say. “You’ve been criticizing me since 9 this morning. Take a load off. Sit down. Take a seat.”

She doesn’t throw her out of the car, she just doesn’t let her drive.

STAY OUT OF THE LABYRINTH OF POOP

Negative thoughts, to put it bluntly, stink. And they lead to more negative thoughts, which ultimately leads to self-blame.

Most perfectionists have been given a belief system — what Pei calls “their BS” — that they once were responsible for someone else’s unhappiness. So if we don’t catch ourselves in the early stages of negative thinking, she said, we’ll end up blaming ourselves and get lost in a crappy labyrinth.

FAST FROM COMPLAINING

Perfectionist are champion complainers because we’re always looking for what’s wrong. Pei actually has an app to help people fast from complaining. She calls this the “diet that is good for your soul.”

I-N-T-B-O-A-D

No matter how bad things are or how far we feel like we are from the Nirvana we expect for ourselves, our failure is temporary and unlikely to define us or our lives. In other words, It’s Not That Big Of A Deal.

“That’s also known as T-T-S-P, which is This Too Shall Pass,” Pei said.

STOP THINKING

If the average person has thousands of thoughts in a minute, Pei believes perfectionists have 50,000. All that activity can drive us crazy. Meditation is simply thinking about nothing. And not thinking allows us to reset and give our brains a rest.

For two minutes each morning, sit up and just breathe in and out. It will seem difficult when you start. But, Pei points out, “If you keep at it the same way you keep at everything else, you will get good at not thinking.”

BE GRATEFUL

In Chinese, eight is a homonym for good fortune, so Pei considers eight a lucky number. That’s why all of her lists have eight things. And that’s why she suggest a daily habit of naming eight things for which you are thankful. Specific things. You can’t say “friends and family.”

The payoff for the perfectionist is that it reminds us of where we’ve been and what we have, which makes it harder to obsess about what’s missing or what’s left to get done.

OPEN THE GIFT

Pei has noticed that her overachieving clients seldom take a vacation. If they do, they spend it planning their next vacation. They are on their phone, checking their email or calling in for meetings. They are focused on what went wrong in the past or what they need to do next, and they fail to find the happiness in the moment.

“The past is history,” she said, “the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift.”

Perfectionists need to stop and open the present — the gift of life.

 

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Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

Do You Love What You Do?

How do you know if you love what you do for a living?

It’s a simple question that seems straight-forward enough, but it’s not always easy to answer. Many people would instinctively say something like, “I just know” or “I can just feel that it’s right” or “I definitely know the opposite – when I don’t love what I do.”

Those aren’t wrong answers, they’re just a bit vague. They are tied to emotions, which we know can be fleeting. And, frankly, they aren’t all that helpful. So if you’re not sure if you really love what you do or if you just want some validation, consider these two filters. They aren’t the only criteria, but they’re a good place to start.

You most likely love what you do if …

  1. It’s not just about you.

Real love – the type of love we talk about with Extreme Leadership – is others-focused, not narcissistic. So if you think you love what you do but it’s all about you, then you’re missing the boat.

Scott Krist, a trial lawyer in Houston, put it this way: “I couldn’t do what I do if I didn’t have a genuine love for my clients, for the law, and for how I can help people rebuild their lives.”

He doesn’t mention winning cases or getting rich. There’s nothing wrong with those as motivators, but they can’t be the singular driving force, because those are self-focused pursuits. If you love what you do by focusing on others, the other things flow naturally.

Ryan Hulland, president of Netfloor USA, often sees this expressed as humility.

“For some strange reason, salespeople who don’t stay humble and think their customers absolutely love them never seem to do as well as the down-to-earth, likeable ones,” he said. The best sales people, he points out, are genuine, authentic, and live by the motto, “You have to love your customers more than you think they love you.”

  1. You willingly sacrifice for it.

When you love what you do, you are excited about giving your time to it. That doesn’t mean you don’t want to give your time to other important things. It just means you have an instinctive pull to invest time into your work.

“I don’t just meet with someone once in my office and then never see them again until their case goes to trial,” Krist said. “I’m talking to them and visiting with them regularly and becoming part of their lives while their case is in the process.”

It’s been said that where your “treasure” is, that is where you’ll find your heart. In other words, if you look at where you’re spending your time and money, it will show you what you truly love. Krist said he said he often gets to know more about his clients than “their closest friends or their doctors,” and that type of connection makes the outcome of the cases very personal to him. In other words, his “treasure” is tied up in knowing and helping his clients, which is a good indication that he’s doing something he loves.

What about you? Are you willing to sacrifice your time and money to pursue your work? And is it driven by a sincere desire to serve others, not just yourself? If so, there’s a good chance you love what you do.

 

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Entrepreneurship Management Operations Personal Development

Lessons From Love-Focused

Love has always been good business. No, I’m not talking about the world’s oldest profession. That’s not love. I’m talking about the kind of love that leads to wedding bells – businesses that cater to people who want to find true love or who have found it and want to celebrate it.

But what can those types of love-focused businesses teach us about how we can use love as a principle that shapes any business? Plenty.

Janis Spindel, the president of Serious Matchmaking, believes the type of trust and confidence you need when looking for personal love are also vital to leadership in any business.

“A loving relationship is about being committed,” Spindel said. “Business leadership requires the same commitment and intuitiveness.”

When people love others, Spindel said, they communicate more clearly and support each other more proactively, which makes for healthy relationships in business as well as in life.

Lindsey Sachs, whose company Collective/by Sachs plans weddings in Colorado and Minnesota, believes love is an essential lens through which to view business decisions.

“Considering love in the context of business helps to make companies human, authentic, relatable and better yet, more than a transaction,” Sachs said. “As professionals and consumers, we all understand the overwhelming feeling love plays in our emotions and decisions. A company that infuses love is more likely to stand out.”

Love, she said, creates empathy and purpose in her work.

“With love present, we can more clearly relate to our clients and staff, find common goals to lead to more powerful solutions, products, and services,” she said. “And keeping love at the forefront encourages us to see our work through a different lens of appreciation. … Reminding ourselves that our work stems from a love of something much greater, our overall context, attitude and ultimately productivity will adapt for the good.”

Businesses that promote love and celebrate love still need profits to keep their doors open, but they understand the powerful connection between loving what you do in the service of people who love what you do. It builds strong relationships, trust, loyalty, and the commitment that allows a business to not only make money but make a difference.

 

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Growth Management Skills Women In Business

Three Ways To Show You Believe In Others

The last person who had a stellar career without help from anyone whatsoever was … well … no one. So it makes no sense to lead as if the people around you never need help getting where they, and you, want them to go. In fact, just the opposite is true. If you want to create leaders who are Greater Than Yourself – and that should be your goal, by the way – then you need to express a deep belief in people, because none of us get very far without someone who believes in us more than we believe in ourselves.

If you struggle to believe in certain people, consider it your problem, not theirs. They were hired for a reason, so treat them like they deserve the job, address their skills gaps, and then lead them with an I-believe-in-you attitude that inspires their success. If you do this consistently over time, most people will succeed.

But how can you show people you believe in them? Glad you asked. Here are three ways:

Give Them Some Rope. Irnande Altema, who now is chief of staff for a state senator, recalls gravitating toward a supervisor early in her career because he saw her potential and gave her “several assignments so I could grow and develop.” That wasn’t always easy for Altema, but it probably wasn’t always easy for the supervisor, either.

When you believe in people, you push them out of their comfort zone even if it takes you out of yours. You give them responsibilities that stretch them, knowing that sometimes they will fail. Then you celebrate with them when they do well and support them when they struggle. And they may struggle. But if they know you believe in them, they seldom will lack for effort.

Serve Them Healthy Ego Biscuits. As a first-generation professional, Altema points out that she’s been prone to the “imposter syndrome” – the fear that you really aren’t good enough for the job you’ve been given. Her supervisor gave her regular reminders that she was “capable,” she said, but he also followed that by helping her create practical strategies to accomplish her goals. In other words, he didn’t just give her fluffy pastry compliments.

“He has more belief than I knew could exist, which makes me more diligent to not disappoint him or myself,” she said. “My confidence grows with each conversation and encouraging word he says to me. Now, I believe in me when others may not.”

Often, if we paint a portrait of who a person can become, that person will end up seeing himself or herself that way and begin to live that way. Darren Pierre said in elementary school he made low grades, was limited in his expression, and was growing up in a troubled home. Now he has a Ph.D., writes books, and gives talks frequently about the “power of speaking to a person’s potential.” Why did he make the change? Because a fourth-grade teacher believed in him and helped him see a different portrait for his life.

“What my teacher did was speak to who she knew me to be and not who I was showing up as,” Pierre said. “In doing so, she invited me and challenged me to do more, be more, and expect more of myself.”

Extend Grace but Speak the Truth. When Fred Winchar was a young manager, he recalls the power of belief expressed in one of his supervisors. Fred didn’t always handle his managerial authority well, but his supervisor never threw him under the bus.

“He ultimately would bear that responsibility to his higher ups, but he would also call me into his office and, without being a monster to me, make it very clear that my actions as a manager had a direct impact on both people and finances,” said Winchar, who now is president of Max Cash Title Loans. “He taught me how to pause. Think before I act. Take into consideration that each mistake could be an opportunity to learn. Take responsibility for my decisions. He was powerful yet not pretentious.”

If you spend much time reading or listening to self-help gurus, you’ll hear a lot about the importance of believing in yourself. And rightly so. But as an Extreme Leader, extending that belief to others is how you have the biggest impact.

 

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Growth Management Personal Development

Pursue Your Goals With Passion

The summit of Denali (formerly known as Mount McKinley) is 20,310 feet above sea level, and Werner Berger was 200 feet from the peak. Just another 20 minutes of climbing and he would cross the tallest mountain in North America off his list. The weather, however, had turned nasty. And rather than risk getting caught in a whiteout, Berger’s group turned back.

“Everybody was so disappointed for me and wondered how we could possibly quit that close,” Berger told me. “And for me, it was just a complete delight. The climb was just spectacular. I cannot even verbalize how phenomenal it was. Getting to the summit would have been nice, but it was absolutely not essential.”

Berger can teach the rest of us a great deal about pursuing goals while enjoying the experience. It’s something he learned in his business career, his work as a consultant, and, of course, while climbing mountains.

The 77-year-old would reach the summit of Denali on his third attempt and eventually become the oldest person to climb the highest mountain on all seven continents–earning him a spot in the Guinness World Records. (He also happens to be the other half of a septuagenarian power couple with super-networker, Heshie Segal, whom I wrote about in a previous column).

Berger ran a small successful business until retiring at 43, when he “really went into the dumps” for about three years because he had retired “from something” instead of “to something.” He stumbled into a fulfilling career as a consultant, but he didn’t start mountain climbing until he was 55, when he fell in love with the idea after he and his son made a trip to the base camp of Mount Everest.

What I appreciate about Berger is that he understands what he wants and why, goes after his goals with an intense passion and focus, and still enjoys the results regardless of what happens. In business, leaders too often bumble that first part, nail the second part, and totally whiff on the third. So here are some tips for conquering all three.

EMBRACE THE WHY

Many leaders are great at goal-setting, but their goals are based on the expectations of others rather than steeped in self-awareness. Berger’s leadership was enhanced when he asked and answered questions about things like his purpose, the legacy he wanted to leave, and the passions he had that he might have given up on. Berger’s understanding of his why helped him understand his strengths and limitations, while inspiring him to focus on each moment and not give up when the journey grew challenging. With the why answered, we can start pursuing that legacy or that passion, and that’s when we start climbing the metaphorical mountain.

GO TOGETHER

Mountain climbing is a team endeavor, and going through it together as a team builds empathy and trust for the long haul. In business, of course, we need the right people to support us and we need to support them. In addition to that team, we need the right guides to help along the way. This allows us to accomplish what at times are very personal goals while bonding with a community of people and creating something that goes far beyond what we set out to do on our own.

PURSUE THE GOAL WITH PASSION

Berger sets some very specific goals. In fact, right now he’s planning to scale all seven major peaks again by 2020. The goal matters, and so does our passion for the goal. You know how you can tell? Because you can’t let it go. That’s why Berger returned to Denali until he made it to the top.

RELEASE THE RESULTS

This is without a doubt the hardest thing for most leaders to do – maintain a desire to achieve a goal while at the same time allowing the journey to be something in and of itself. “The truth really is that if I had died after my first Denali climb, I would have still been a happy climber,” Berger said. “Because it was an awesome experience.” And, yet, his appreciation of the journey doesn’t make him any less competitive.

That non-attachment to the outcome frees us to live with joy in the moment. And combined with a competitive spirit, it actually gives us a better chance of achieving our goals. Why?

Because our self-absorbed ego is out of the way and we’re self-aware enough to see the big picture when the storms roll in.

 

Categories
Growth Management Skills

3 Qualities of a Great Mentor

 

If you want to learn what it takes to become a great mentor, one place to look is at the great mentors who’ve influenced your success. As a motivational speaker, my mentors (and I’ve had several including Jim Kouzes, Tom Peters, and Terry Pearce) had more confidence in my abilities than I did, and always looked for opportunities to shove me into the training and speaking spotlight. If you don’t think you have a mentor yet, try looking at others who’ve achieved their goals and see what they learned from their mentors. At a minimum, I think you’ll find that great mentors do three things that conveniently all start with the letter E – they encourage, equip, and exemplify. I’ll highlight one in this blog and the others in subsequent blogs. So read on and then stay tuned.

MENTORS ENCOURAGE

Great mentors help you see the possibilities of your personal portrait when your life is still a mostly blank canvas.

For instance, Deborah Sweeney, the CEO of MyCorporation, learned early that she should never settle for less than her best. Why? Because her mentor, who happened to be her mother, stressed that message.

“She always told me, ‘This or something better,’” Sweeney said. “This had a real influence on how I approached my college and job. I was unwilling to settle for anything less than my highest potential.”

Marina Lau, a senior marketing manager at JotForm, says one of her key mentors provided all sorts of practical advice, but it was all built on a foundation of creating a strong sense of inner confidence.

“She taught me that even before you can accumulate decades of experience, it’s important to always remember your value as an employee, because you inherently come with a unique set of skills, continually cultivated over time,” Lau said. “Instilling that confidence in me as a young professional has been an invaluable experience.”

Mentors don’t just encourage with words, but with actions. When Ruth Wilson first opened Brightmont Academy, a private school for grades 6-12, she found encouragement from Dr. Albert Reichert, a developmental pediatrician. In addition to helping her work through specific challenges, Dr. Reichert put his reputation on the line by recommending Wilson’s new school to families under his care.

“More than one parent expressed skepticism about my age,” Wilson said, “but most acquiesced based on Dr. Reichert’s endorsement of my program.”

The good doctor believed in his protégé, and all great mentors encourage with words and actions the inspired confidence. So don’t just tell people you believe in them. Show them.

MENTORS EQUIP

Few things are more frustrating than trying to take on a project without the right equipment or tools. Try setting up a tent without the poles. Or building a swing set without the nuts and bolts. Try building a tree fort with no hammer or nails (not that I’ve done that).
So what tools should you offer as a mentor? Whatever your protégé needs to succeed, of course.

Mentors might equip their protégés with specific skills like how to build healthy relationships, how to use the company’s project management software, how to become a leader, what to look for when reading a P&L, or, in the case of Adwoa Dadzie, how to think big.

“I needed to build my ability to think about broad impact,” said Dadzie, the VP of HR for a Fortune 500 company. “As an HR leader, what I do for one person can have long-term vast impact on all employees in a work group, in a building, and, potentially, in a company. I needed to learn how to think more strategically about the impact of my actions and my decisions to minimize negative impact and maximize the positive ones.”

The tools mentors provide aren’t always skills-based. Sometimes they look like an email introduction to a key contact or a word of advice on dealing with an important stakeholder. And they often come in the form of pearls of wisdom and nuggets of advice than become engrained in someone’s thinking, equipping them for challenges for years to come.

When Steven Benson was starting out at Google, his first sales manager, Mark Flessel, stressed the importance of focusing on the needs of his customer’s business. “Then I could map my solution to what makes them successful,” said Benson, who now is founder and CEO of Badger Maps. That “what do others need” mindset now plays a role in how he builds his business.

If you’ve had a great mentor, you’ve probably experienced this. You’re facing a situation and thinking through what to do when suddenly your mentor’s words spring freshly into your mind. Live those words out. And pass them on to someone else.

MENTORS EXEMPLIFY

I’ve never met great mentors, or heard of any for that matter, who didn’t walk the walk as well or better than they talked the talk. Mentors aren’t perfect, of course, but they teach hard work by working hard. They teach great listening skills by listening well. They teach perseverance by persevering.

The most important mentor in Katherine Sullivan’s life, for instance, never finished high school, but Sullivan’s now 94-year-old grandfather worked hard to provide for his family during the Great Depression, fought for his country in World War II, and became a successful business owner.

“As a young girl, I watched his work ethic and success drive him in life and business,” said Sullivan, CEO of Marketing Solved. “This was directly transferred to me … Seeing his hard work taught me that I earn everything I get and nothing is ever handed to you.”

Denise Supplee, co-founder of both SparkRental.com and SnapLandlord.com, watched her father build a business by taking risks, so she learned not to fear the challenges that come with entrepreneurship.

“It is easy to speak about things you want to do, but you must take action,” she said. “He built a business empire against all odds.”

No matter what you preach as a mentor, the message that will have the biggest impact will come from how you live – your attitude, your sense of humor, your commitment to excellence, your investment in others, your sense of self-worth, your gratitude, your … well, your everything.

It’s interesting that when I speak to people about the mentors in their lives they often refer to people who weren’t formally mentors. They were just people who invested in them out of love and lived in a manner worth emulating. You never know who is watching, so the time to lead by example is now … and always.

 

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

13 Qualities to Look for in Your Next Business Speaker

Every business leader I know is looking for the same thing: An edge. They all want that elusive something that will get their team and their organization ahead of — or keep them ahead of — their competition. And one place many look for it is by investing in the wisdom of an outsider — the professional business speaker.

Yeah, that’s me. But I’m one of many, some good and some, well … caveat emptor, as the Romans used to say. The fact is, not all business speakers provide that edge, and leaders can ill afford to waste time and money on those who don’t.

If you’re just looking for some inspiration, that’s one thing. But most leaders want more bang for their buck. They want a return that doesn’t fade when the rah-rah rock star is gone and everyone is back with the grindstones pressed against their noses. They want a speaker who provides knowledge, tools, and techniques that actually improve the quality and success of the business.

They want someone who gives them an advantage in things like leadership, strategy, customer service, and technology.

They want someone with no fewer than these 13 qualities.

  1. EXPERIENCE

Speakers who have never left the ivory towers of the world can offer some great theories, many of which actually work. Speakers who have lived and led in the trenches can relate those theories to the topic at hand and the experiences you and your team face.

  1. PROVEN TRACK RECORD

The top business speakers can offer an impressive list of clients who willingly and enthusiastically vouch for their effectiveness from the stage. If a speaker has no raving fans, don’t bet the farm (or the widget factory or the sales team) that you will become the first.

  1. UNIQUE MESSAGE

A friend of mine puts it this way: “Tell me something I don’t know and tell me something I can’t get anywhere else.” Yes, but there’s nothing new under the sun, you might say. True, but effective speakers don’t provide the same old take on the same old, same old. They bring a distinctly different message and/or delivery. They have a provocative message and a unique point of view. They have fresh ways to bring timeless truths to new circumstances and new market conditions.

  1. ACTIONABLE CONTENT

High-flying philosophy is fine, as long as it’s translated into something valuable and practical you can use today.

  1. MAKES THE COMPLEX SIMPLE

Problems rarely are simple, and solutions to complex problems are rarely easy. But solutions need not be complicated or complex. The best speakers do the hard work of simplifying their message. As Steve Jobs said, “Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

  1. RELATABLE

Great content might as well be awful content if no one absorbs it. And if your audience can’t relate to the speaker’s style or content, then your audience won’t absorb the speaker’s message. Yes, this is a purely subjective assessment, but no one knows your audience better than you. So go with your gut and choose someone whose personality you think your group will enjoy.

  1. PROVIDES FOLLOW-UP OPTIONS

Most speakers with valuable content are given an hour or less for their initial presentations. That’s enough time to teach some important lessons, but the best content inevitably requires resources that help you and your team go deeper.

  1. PRESENTS AND FACILITATES

A presenter puts on a great show from the stage, while a facilitator draws the audience into the conversation and promotes discussion. It’s hard to find both qualities in the same person, but it’s worth it when you do.

  1. PUTS IT IN WRITING

The most effective speakers have published books and/or articles on their topics, which gives them credibility with your audience and provides a resource you can read to study and reinforce their ideas. Sir Francis Bacon once said, “Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.” Speakers who have refined their message into written forms tend to have the excellence that comes with precision.

  1. OWNS A FUNNY BONE

No audience wants to sit through a dry and academic presentation. Even very serious topics require a little relief. The best speakers don’t have to be the next Steve Martin, but they need the ability to lighten the mood and make people smile and laugh.

  1. BREADTH OF EXPERIENCES

You want a speaker who has wide exposure to a variety of industries and audiences. Even if you’re looking for someone who is very specialized in your specific line of work, the broader the industry experience, the more ideas they’ll have on how to apply their knowledge to your business.

  1. OPEN TO QUESTIONS

Beware the speaker who works from a script and quakes at the thought of questions from the audience. Even if you choose not to have a Q&A session, you’ll want a speaker who welcomes it.

  1. SHARES INSTEAD OF SELLS

Unsolicited solicitations from the stage can confuse the audience and dilute the message. Is the speaker here to share a message or sell products? There might be value (to your team and the speaker) in allowing a sales pitch, but be clear about those expectations on the front end and don’t permit speakers to sell from the stage unless you have an agreement that allows for it.

Finding a business speaker for your organization is easy. Finding one with all 13 of these qualities takes a little time and research, but the payoff comes in gaining the edge you need to grow your team and build your business.

 

[This post was originally published on my weekly column at Inc.com]