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5 Body Language Questions That Make You A More Awesome Negotiator

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When considering how you’ll engage in a negotiation, the questions you ask of yourself and the opposing negotiator will determine how successful you’ll be in the negotiation. The following are thought-provoking questions that will allow you to be a more awesome negotiator and enhance your thought process and abilities to win more negotiations.

1)    How difficult will it be to read the other negotiator’s body language?

In assessing the other negotiator’s body language, understand what she does in a ‘normal’ environment; this can be obtained by observing her when she’s in situations that are not stressful. Then, during the negotiation look for body language signals that are different from what you observed when she was in her ‘normal’ environment. The different displays will give you insight into how comfortable or uncomfortable she is based on what you’ve asked that puts her in that state.

2)    How will you control subliminal messaging?

Subliminal messages are thoughts or actions that you convey that move the other negotiator to adopt and action or thought that you want him to consider or engage in. To the degree you want to bond with him, you can speak at the same pace, invoke thoughts of happy times that he’s experienced in the past into the negotiation, and mirror his actions. Since people like people that are like themselves, your subliminal acts will remind him of himself, which will state to him that you’re just like he is.

3)    How will colors influence the negotiation?

Colors have a profound impact on our psyche. To the degree we’re aware of it, we’re less influenced by colors. As an example, red denotes power, passion, danger, and strength. White, in the American society, denotes purity and innocence, while blue is associated with trust, stability, and loyalty. So, if a negotiator was attired in such colors and you were not aware of the impact the colors were having on you subliminally, you might be more prone to acquiesce to concessions, due to the perceived authority you had of them at a subliminal/subconscious level.

4)    How will you shift your strategy as you read the others negotiator’s body language signals?

Body language signals can give unfettered insight into the thought process that’s occurring in the opposing negotiator’s mind. To the degree you see a frown at a particular time, him pulling away from or towards the table, all such signals are indicators as to how pleased or displeased he is with your offer/counteroffers. By observing when such occurs, you can increase or decrease the value of your offers.

5)    How can you tell when the other negotiator is lying?

Rather than seeking to discern when the other negotiator is lying, seek signs that display to what degree he’s uncomfortable. Since the body always seeks to be in a state of comfort, when it’s uncomfortable, we do such things as rub the back of our necks, fold our arms across our chest, tighten our lips, or shift our weight from one foot/leg to the other. Those body language signals are indications that the body is in a state of discomfort. To understand the meaning that it’s seeking to be comfortable again, you need to assess what you did/said, or what the other negotiator did/said, to put the body in the state of discomfort. Therein will be disclosed to what degree some form of a lie may have been told.

As you can see, the more you understand what you may encounter in a negotiation, the better prepared you’ll be. In order to be better prepared, consider reflecting on the questions above and you’ll win more of your negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

“Questions form the foundation through which we gain greater insight into the unknown.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.

www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Accountability: 3 Steps to Holding Yourself Accountable to Grow Your Influence

Click here to watch Accountability: 3 Steps to Holding Yourself Accountable to Grow Your Influence 

It’s not the skills and techniques you and your team learn that make you more influential.  It’s what you do with what you learn.

Accountability is the most difficult aspect of having influence Monday to Monday®.

This video will share with you three steps you can take today to avoid slipping into your old habits.  These three steps will keep you focused and disciplined to do the work of communicating with influence Monday to Monday® until it becomes ingrained in you. 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

The Hidden Value of Trust in Negotiations

“The Hidden Value of Trust In A Negotiation (DACA)”

When someone trusts you in a negotiation (you’re always negotiating), they’re more likely to believe what you tell them. Thus, there’s hidden value in trust when negotiating from a long-term perspective. Once trust is broken it’s difficult to regain it. Therefore, broken trust sets off negative ripples that can have unintended and unexpected consequences in the future.

Let’s look at the trust factor with DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) as an example. The kids in the DACA program were brought to the US by their parents. In most cases, they had no input as to whether they would stay where they were, or travel to the US. They instinctively trusted their parents with that decision. Then, there’s the US government.

The US government basically said, if you register for the DACA program and abide by our requirements (i.e. check in every 2 years and make payment to stay in the program, go to college, serve in the military, stay employed, pay taxes), you’ll be OK in the US.

Some registered and some didn’t. Those in the DACA program trusted the government and abided by their mandate. Then, trust was thrust out the window. Those in the DACA program cried, ‘We did what you asked of us! Why are you going back on your word? We trusted you!’ Those that did not register for the program, if not stated out loud silently thought, ‘see, I told you so; you should not have trusted them. The government can’t be trusted. Now, the information you gave them will be used against you.’ The ripple that such a message sent to non-DACA members was, stay in the shadows and let the darkness protect you.

In the eyes of those in the program, the US government went back on its word and broke the trust it had conveyed. Suffice it to say, the ripples set forth from this situation will cause the government not to be trusted in future matters by different entities. They’ll mentally relate their situation to the resemblance of the DACA plight. That means those submitting information requested by the government will be skeptical at best and cynical at worse when contemplating a course of action that they should adopt. In essence, through the loss of trust, the government has made it more difficult for others to trust it.

If I tell you the truth, will you believe what I say and trust me? If my perception of the truth is altered in the future, will I be declared a liar? If so, what will become of our future negotiation efforts? Those are questions every negotiator needs to consider before and during a negotiation. That’s the hidden force that trust has on a negotiation.

When trust is the foundation upon which a negotiation is built, the truth becomes a happier companion in the negotiation. Therefore, when the truth as one knows it shifts, the shifting of the truth can still have believability.

Change allows you to embrace new experiences, and everything changes. Thus, what’s true today may be proven not to be valid tomorrow. Nevertheless, once trust has been established and nurtured by consistency, over a period of time change can withstand the onslaught of doubt and suspension. In so doing, even when your negotiations become difficult, you’ll have less of a challenge finding a path to success, simply because you had trust adding hidden value to your negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 “Without trust, failure awaits you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert

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Best Practices Growth Management Skills

Sunday Negotiation Insight – Always Check Your Emotions

www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

“Emotions determine who you are, what you’ll engage in, and how you’ll act in such engagements. Control your emotions and you’ll control the emotions that could cause you to lose control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Always Check Your Emotions”

What motivates you? Really, what causes you to do the things you do that lead to the different moods you find yourself in? The better you are at being aware of where an emotion leads you, the better you can be at controlling it.

It’s important to understand the source of your emotions and where such can lead because you can place yourself into different emotional states, once you become mindful of the different states of emotions that you experience. As an example, pause from reading this article. Look around you once in about 20 seconds. Do so 360 degrees and note what you see. Attempt to see something that you’ve not paid that close attention to if you’re in an environment that you’re familiar with.

What did you observe that you did not notice before? How did it make you feel? If you said you had no feelings, dig deeper. You thought and felt something. If your emotional state was so slight that it didn’t register on your emotional Richter scale, you need to become more aware of your emotions. Some have gone through this exercise several times a day. In so doing they became more aware of their emotional state and the stimuli that motivated them to adopt certain actions. A higher sense of awareness per what stimulates your emotional states in doing this exercise should be your goal.

It may not be possible to be aware of your emotional state 24 hours a day, but the better you are at sensing your mood swings or other states of emotion, the more aware you’ll become of how to shape any environment you’re in; the goal is to be able to maximize your actions in that environment.

You can only control something once you become aware of its existence. Thus, to the degree you can control your emotions, you’ll be able to control more aspects of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you can experience and cause the opposing negotiator to have certain experiences based on the emotional state you’re in. If you control the emotional state, you can control the negotiation.

As you know, emotions change in the give and take that occurs in a negotiation. So, before entering into a negotiation, assess the emotions you might experience and what might motivate you to display them. Be on guard for those that might make you appear out of control. During the negotiation, be even more mindful of the emotions that can pull you off track and don’t let them do so. You’re in control of yourself and thus your emotions; control them!

 

 

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

People Leaving Their Corporate Positions is Increasing: They’re Running Out the Door

People Leaving Their Corporate Positions is Increasing: They’re Running Out the Door

During the past few years, more and more people have been leaving their corporate positions. They’re not walking, they are running out the door. Recent studies have suggested that there has been an increasing number of men and women quitting their jobs, regardless of the dips the economy has taken in recent years. It is apparent that this growing rate of people leaving the corporate world has very little to do with money. An astounding 74 percent of people stated that they were looking to leave their current corporate positions.

People in corporate positions are reporting that they feel unhappy, unappreciated, and unnoticed at work. People are also stating that internal politics and disrespectful bosses are having a negative impact on their lives, and no longer wish to continue working for an unethical corporation. Negative work conditions and poor leadership seem to be pushing people to start their own companies. They want to be in a position where they have the power to create healthier work conditions, and maintain happiness in the work place.

Making the decision to leave your current corporate position and become an entrepreneur can be nerve racking. Especially if you have been in the corporate world for the majority of your career. You are leaving something that is comfortable and secure to pursue your own dreams, which can sometime be unpredictable. This is why it’s important to have an exit plan. This will help you avoid leaving your current job in an abrupt way that will leave you broke and overwhelmed.

When you devise a strategy to leave your current career path, it can help you make your transition a bit smoother. If you are in a position where you have made investments that are tied to your current company, you may have to be a little more strategic when making your plans. Take your time when planning your strategy. Remember, the whole point of having an exit strategy is so you have a clear game plan. If you rush into it without being clear on every aspect of your strategy, you will most likely find yourself in a risky situation.

Have an Unstoppable Day,

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

 

 

 

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Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Deliberate Practice: 4 Steps to Enhancing Your Influence

Click here to watch Deliberate Practice: 4 Steps to Enhancing Your Influence

Being influential requires deliberate practice, discipline and hard work.  The good news, we communicate 24/7 every day.  Therefore, we have unlimited opportunities to enhance our level of influence every day.  This video will share with you four practical and immediate ways you can begin practicing today to grow your influence.

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Management Marketing Skills

Life’s Choices and The Roads to Which They Lead

“Sunday Negotiation Insight”

“The decisions you make in life will determine the roads you’ll travel. Manage your decisions better and you can travel better on life’s roads.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Life’s Choices And The Roads To Which They Lead” 

Most people are very much aware that the choices they make in life determine what they’ll experience in life. That’s to say, some are aware of such at an intellectual level but are not mindful of such in their everyday practice. Such a lack of attentiveness to the choices we make and the impact they have on our life lead some people down a road upon which they had not planned to travel. Worse, such inattentiveness can lead to unintended consequences.

As you engage in your daily activities, be mindful of what you’re doing and the decisions you make. The impact they have on your future can be long-term. In lending your attentiveness to making such decisions consider:

  1. Is this the best decision I can make at this time?
  2. Do I have enough input/insight to make an intelligent decision?
  3. Where might such a decision lead and is that where I’d like to be?
  4. What cost or gain might I incur by not making a decision at this time?
  5. If I make the wrong decision, what procedure might I put in place to inform me of such? Then, how long might it take and at what cost to correct the decision?

The more you’re aware of the impact today’s decision may have on the long-term aspects of your life, the more you’ll be mindful of controlling such decisions. Doing so will relieve you of the potential angst that you might have otherwise experienced … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, one has to be highly aware of where a decision might lead. To haphazardly engage in a negotiation with a ‘go with the flow’ mindset is to engage in folly; you leave the outcome to chance and chance favors the person that’s more prepared and thoughtful.

To thwart folly, have a well thought out negotiation plan. Consider the possibilities of where one decision might lead versus another and what impact such might have on the negotiation outcome.

Negotiations are like a game of chess. The more thoughtful you are about your decisions and the more you can think of the moves you’ll make down the line, the better you’ll be able to control the flow and outcome of the negotiation. That’s how good negotiators win more negotiations. The question you should now consider is, how good do you wish to be in any of your negotiations? To enhance your negotiation win rate, make better decisions by considering the impact of those decisions.

 Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

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Management Marketing Operations Personal Development

Talk Can Be Cheap and Costly

“Sunday Negotiation Insight”

“Evaluate the mindset that gives you advice. One that’s sane or insane, may have the best of intentions, but you’ll bear the cost for following such advice.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

“Talk Can Be Cheap And Costly”

Talk is cheap and cheap talk can be costly. The costly aspect of cheap talk can come in the form of too much bluster setting the groundwork for future activities. To the degree that bluster is believed, and depending on what’s at stake, there can be a high price to pay to bring such bluster to fruition.

When you’re engaged with a prognosticator or anyone that you perceive as being overly zealous of a position and/or expected outcome, be wary. Raise your level of awareness to the possibility of being led to a place in which you do not wish to reside. By being mindful of such insights you might possibly prevent yourself from falling prey to cheap talk. Even if what someone engages in is all talk and no action, such sentiments could cost you time, money, and other assets that you might have used to progress your own agenda.

Understanding the potential cost of cheap talk can allow you to think differently per the cost you might have to incur from following someone else’s ideology. Thus, be very mindful as to the course of direction you adopt as the result of who and what you believe. If you don’t like where someone’s edicts might lead, don’t follow. By being mentally flexible, you’ll always be more adept at making course corrections … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, be careful of whose verbal elixir you consume. Instead of it making you younger, wiser, and better off, it might just increase your aging process in the form of more stress, anxiety, and a worse outcome for you. Remember, everything that glitters ain’t gold. Such is definitely the case when it comes to someone espousing words that intentionally, or unintentionally lead you upon a mental path that doesn’t serve you. Sometimes, when you stare into the abyss (i.e. become mesmerized), the abyss stares back at you (i.e. you lose your will). That may cause you to lose your control. Control yourself by controlling what you believe and the source of those beliefs.

 Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

 

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Best Practices Human Resources Management Marketing Skills

Body Language – How to Better Interpret What You See

“Sometimes, the subliminal mind stores impressions of what the conscious mind is unaware of. In order to see better, look for the unseen.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert,www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

When observing your body language, do you take the time to interpret what you see? I don’t mean, if you see a cat, you recognize it as a cat and then go about addressing your next activity. What I’m referring to, especially when it comes to major decisions, is understanding how you formulate your decision based on the way you interpret what you’re seeing.

When it comes to reading body language, many experts will inform you that the eyes are the window to the soul. That’s true to a degree and not so truthful. The one consideration that has to be factored in that analysis is the interpreter. That means, per the way each of us see ourself, we see the world. Thus, if we say someone looks up and to the left, they’re recalling something that’s occurred in the past, we may be right. We could also be wrong if that person’s inclination is to look up and to the left when considering future activities. Therefore, we must know how that person uses her eyes to gain a higher level of perspective per what that person is doing at that time. That’s one aspect per how we perceive that person. The other aspect that we should consider is why we’re giving the meaning to that person’s actions (i.e. what we really saw). If you’ve observed the person’s eye movement throughout a conversation and you note that she looks up and to the left when considering future activities, you have a foundation upon which to base your assumptions. Ergo, be sure to base your perception and what you see on a firm foundation, not just conjecture. To do so otherwise could cause you to fall prey to your lying eyes attempting to convince you that you’re seeing the truth. Your eyes may not lie to you, but they can be lied to, which could place you in a quagmire.

Consider the following checklist, based on the importance of the decision.

  1. Ask why you’re interpreting what you see the way you’re interpreting it.
  2. Ask yourself what you’re not seeing or taking into account per what you’re seeing.
  3. Consider how you might alter your perspective by looking at the situation differently.
  4. Ask, if I continue to see something from the same perspective, where might it lead my thoughts.
  5. How long do I need to think about this? Should I take a break, and if so for how long before I can revisit and possibly reframe what I’m seeing.

It’s been said that seeing is believing. That’s true to some degree because to a degree we see what we expect to see; that has to do with the way our brain perceives motion, fills in voids, etc. The point is, while we believe our eyes don’t lie to us, we can believe a lie that we see. Thus, always be mindful about how you glean some clues as to what someone is thinking, based on the movement of their eyes. Eye movement is part of the puzzle. To be more exact, look for clusters of body movements (i.e. hands, head, feet, etc.) to add validity to your assessment.

The better you become at deciphering how you interpreted what your eyes see, the better you’ll be able to read body language. Then, you’ll be more certain about believing what your eyes are telling you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Categories
Growth News and Politics Personal Development Women In Business

HRH Princess Lamia: Saudi Women Have More Rights Than They Realize

HRH Princess Lamia: Saudi Women have More Rights Than They Realize

BY: NICOLE SAWYER

ALWALEED PHILANTHROPIES

HRH Princess Lamia Al Saud is the Secretary General and member of the Board of Trustees at Alwaleed Philanthropies.

In a deeply conservative culture, the women of Saudi Arabia are as mysterious to outsiders as the veils which mask their faces. Who are these women? What inspires them? What is life like behind the veil? Are they as confined as the lens of mainstream media so often portrays, or are they bold, beautiful, empowered women who are completely misunderstood?

Recently, a young Saudi woman named Khulood, was detained after a controversial video went viral, depicting her wearing a miniskirt, walking around the conservative Najd region.

The model’s snapchat post sparked outrage across the Islamic kingdom and mass opinion was clearly divided; some traditionalists calling for her arrest, others jumping to defend her bravery.

I had the rare chance to sit down with a lead reformer on women’s rights in Saudi Arabia, Her Royal Highness Princess Lamia Al Saud, granddaughter of King Saud bin Abdulaziz Al Saud. We discussed the evolving role of women in Saudi Arabia.

The West views Saudi women as oppressed because they are segregated from men in public, banned from driving cars, and prevented from leaving the house without permission from their male guardians, but Princess Lamia tells a different story.

“These women are warriors. I believe the Saudi women is most powerful women on earth because she is really, really, really strong and she believes in herself and she knows her capability. They’re very stubborn and they know exactly what they want,” she said.

Princess Lamia explained how it’s not technically “against the law” for women to drive or socialize with men in public that are not related to them, rather these rules follow “tribal ethics and deep-rooted religious beliefs” that have been in place for centuries.

For the purpose of progress, she says people shouldn’t judge what they don’t fully understand.

“You have to accept the other as is, even if you don’t agree,” said Princess Lamia.

“You have to understand their culture, their tradition before you judge, before you say whether there is a violation, whether it is right or wrong. This is what we depend on to create understanding and tolerance,” explained the princess who serves as secretary-general at Alwaleed Philanthropies, the charitable organization where Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, one of the world’s richest people, pledged to donate his entire $32 billion fortune towards initiatives to combat disease, poverty and the empowerment of women.

ALWALEED PHILANTHROPIES

Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, one of the world’s richest people, pledges to donate his entire $32 billion fortune towards initiatives to combat disease, poverty and empower women.

Prince Alwaleed is an advocate of female freedom in the Saudi peninsula and financed the training for the first female commercial airline pilot, Hanadi Zakaria al Hindi. He said at her graduation that he is “in full support of Saudi ladies working in all fields.”

Hanadi Zakaria al Hindi, First Saudi Female Pilot Breaks Glass Ceiling for Other Women

Princess Lamia applauds her young country of 85-years for making efforts to create an environment conducive to working women. “50 years ago, Riyadh was a small village and women didn’t have that much of an opportunity or even the awareness of the role in the community,” she said.

Today, the Saudi government is taking steps to inspire women to enter the workforce as it seeks to be more economically dynamic and aligned with the developed world.

In the past decade, tens of thousands of Saudi women have studied abroad through government scholarship programs. King Abdullah appointed 30 women to the country’s top advisory body, the Shura Council and granted women the right to vote in 2015.

Still, Princess Lamia doesn’t agree with all the rules enforced by the religious establishment, she’d like to see the guardian law regulated and more ladies in leadership roles.

She and a team of ten women who make up the board of trustees for Alwaleed Philanthropies are working to empower thousands of women by giving them career training and educating them about their legal rights through the Wa’iyah Initiative.

They hope to create a model that can serve as a roadmap for others to encourage tolerance and openness for women’s rights.

ALWALEED PHILANTHROPIES

Princess Lamia and ten women make up the board of trustees for Alwaleed Philanthropies.

“Even me as a secretary general when we first started this initiative, I was very excited, I was scared and shocked. I didn’t know many of my rights as a woman and a Saudi citizen,” Princess Lamia said.

“Through Wa’iyah, we’re trying to create awareness and make the women understand their rights. We have a lot of rights that they do not understand. Of course, you heard in the media about guardianship. Well it’s true we do have a problem with that. There’s a lot of girls that suffer which I would never deny. But you cannot fix it or even fight it. You have to understand, you have a legal and religious way to convince the society here. The old generation says the guardian, your father your brother is your protector, he is not abusing you,” Princess Lamia explained.

“That’s what makes our work harder. You’re not only working with general society beliefs, no it’s more deeper and more stronger, we are going to the roots. You need to know how to crack it,” she said.

“I would never ever want to be apart from my family, or not having the blessing of my father or brother. Even you, I don’t think any person in the world would not love to have the blessing of their family. But I would say [The guardian law] it needs a guideline, it needs a rule, where to stop. Where’s it’s okay and where it’s not ok.”

It’s human nature to fear what we don’t understand. But as Saudi Arabia works towards change in their country, never before has it been so important for Westerners to be open minded.

The princess shared her views on how far her 85-year old country has come regarding women’s role in society, the Trump administration’s travel ban, the refugee crisis and much more.