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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Skills

Calming your Nerves On Camera

You know the drill.

Your heart starts to race. Your palms start to sweat while your mouth goes dry. You remind yourself to smile and pray you don’t draw a blank at a critical moment.

You’re either about to meet someone on a blind date, or you’re about to speak on camera.

If you’re looking into the eyes of a blind date, sorry; you’re on your own. But if you’re looking into the eye of a camera, there ARE things you can do to calm your nerves, collect your thoughts, and knock it out of the park.

Actually, the more I think about it, some of the solutions to these problems aren’t all that different after all.

For starters, head-games are half the battle. And I’m not even talking about if someone else is playing games with you. (Remember, on a first date those games haven’t started yet.) I’m referring to the internal head-games – some people might call it head trash – that you play with yourself.

Let’s face it: You can be your own worst enemy. And you know I’m right.

You constantly set the bar higher – a good thing in business development, but not when you’re always afraid you could or should have done better, never satisfied with your result. That wrecks havoc on your confidence, which is already under siege in front of the camera.

You’re also a pro at the “what if” game:

– What if I make a mistake?
– What if I draw a blank?
– What if they ask a question I can’t answer?
– What if I forget to smile?
– What if I fidget too much?
– What if the camera really does add ten pounds? I should’ve gone on a diet…

And what does all that accomplish? It sets you on a downward spiral of sabotage and self-fulfilling prophecies.

At that point, you’re like a major league baseball player getting up to bat and saying over and over to himself: Don’t miss… Don’t miss… Just don’t miss…

At best, that’s playing to not-lose. You need to adjust your thinking so you can play to WIN.
Here’s the first trick: Your body doesn’t know the difference between when you’re nervous or excited. Adrenaline is adrenaline. So when you feel the adrenaline kick in, along with the quickened heartbeat and shaky hands, don’t send yourself on that downward spiral by repeating “Oh my gosh, I’m so nervous… I’m so nervous… I’m so nervous” over and over again, mantra-like.

That’s psyching yourself out before you even get started, making the challenge both physical and psychological.

Instead, psych yourself into success. (After all, if you can talk yourself out of something, why wouldn’t it work the other way around too?)

When that adrenaline kicks in, change gears immediately, and repeat to yourself, “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so excited…” and get yourself pumped up!

And it’s not just empty words… you are excited. Think about it: you wouldn’t be nervous or excited if you didn’t care, and caring is good! And you probably care so much because this is a great opportunity for you to shine and get some good publicity for you and your company.
That’s what you should be focused on – and happy about!

Aligning your mind and body that way is the equivalent of getting up to bat and focusing your thoughts and efforts on knocking it out of the park.

Then SMILE as you say this to yourself – it actually has a positive psychological effect as well.

My video below, “Calming Your Nerves” from the series, “Capturing Your Confidence on Camera,” addresses this and other strategies you can use to get a grip on yourself and be calm, cool, and compelling in front of the camera.

And these strategies aren’t just for mastering camera presence. Whenever you need to capture the attention, minds and hearts of your audience, whether in an interview, giving a conference presentation, or on that first date, run through the strategy checklist in the video.

You’re sure to come across poised, charismatic and confident – and win them over!

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Entrepreneurship Management Skills

The High-Performance Reboot – A Modern Day Version of the American Dream

“Be All You Can Be”? Even though that slogan had its limitations, it was used in the Army for over 21 years to inspire young recruits to do their best and be their best at all times.

Truth is that being all you can be is not just for the Army. It is a choice that everyone has in life. It is about how you want to live your life and who you want to be. Be all you can be! – signifies the American dream, a dream that was coined in 1931 by Historian James Truslow Adams:

“…The American Dream… in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable.”

Each man and woman would have the opportunity to be all they can be and live a life of their choice. Sadly these days, the American Dream has turned into a nightmare consisting of a mad pursuit of riches, power and material possessions. Somewhere along the way we translated the American dream to extra-long hours at work, deadlines and high stress. It seems we have lost balance and have lost our way.

The question is can the American dream be kept alive without being a slave to your business, compromising your relationships or sacrificing your health and wellness? The answer is yes – a new updated version of the American dream can be attained thru High-Performance Reboot.

Why would you choose High-Performance Reboot?

The High-Performance Reboot provides the ability to express your

ultimate potential in life in all areas of your life on a consistent basis. It is the ability to constantly grow, achieve more and be more while still maintaining equilibrium without crashing and burning. Some people might call that work/life balance. Personally, I believe that life has ebb and flow. Balance is when the scales are even and there is no movement. While work/life balance signifies that your work is separate from your life, work is only one dimension of your life. Whereas at times you might need to invest energy in one area of your life, less in another; you then can circle back to the areas that may have been somewhat neglected and give them some extra needed attention therefore maintaining equilibrium.

For example: say you had a business project that required a lot of time and effort which may have taken your focus away from your family and your loved ones. Once that project was completed, you would be able to celebrate by taking your family on a vacation, spending uninterrupted quality time with them, therefore putting more energy in an area you had seemingly neglected.

High-Performance is not restricted to a special part of society – it is for anyone who chooses. The High Performance Reboot is about living your best life by tapping into your inner resources on a continuous basis to express the power of your own natural abilities without burning out or breaking down.

The High- Performance Reboot focuses on how you live in life, how you take care of yourself and access your inner resources. Its foundation is The High Performance Triad of Leadership- Language-Lifestyle.

• Leadership – The way you conduct yourself as an individual and the influence you have on others, your family, the community and the rest of the world

• Language – Your communication skills, your internal and external dialogues. What you say to yourself and other people and how you interact with them

• Lifestyle – What your life looks like. How you create a life of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being, a life of true health and Wellness.

My own life journey for over 30 years has lead to the natural evolution of The High-Performance Reboot. My experiences, education and professional expertise have been instrumental in defining and developing the three pillars of the High-Performance triad.
In the upcoming articles we will explore the three pillars in more depth to gain a deeper understanding on how they shape your activities, choices and your life.

Categories
Growth Leadership Skills

The Time Management Myth

 

When was the last time you said “I don’t have time” following a request by someone at work or at home? I don’t have time to exercise, I don’t have time for that project, I don’t have time to volunteer, I don’t have time to cook, I don’t have time to….fill in the blank.

Since everyone has the same 24 hours in the day, how is it that some people have time to do a lot while others don’t have time to do much of anything other than eat, sleep, shower, go to work, and maybe watch the News or some TV?

For those of you who have figured out how to get more done in those 24 hours I congratulate you. For everyone else I say that’s okay because you have been told there is such a thing as time management, but there isn’t. Time cannot be managed, but your priorities and your focus can be managed. So I am going to briefly let you off the hook since Time Management is a myth, but I am also going to say that if you don’t plan to look at this differently from now on, it’s on you.

Let’s start looking at those 24 hours that you have as a math problem. Don’t worry, it won’t be complicated; math is not my strong suit. Let’s start by assuming you are getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night. If you are not, that is one area to think about making a priority. If you look at studies on success you will find that the most successful people don’t compromise in this department.

OK so that is 24 hours minus 7 (we are going with 7), which equals 17 hours. Let’s assume a 1-hour commute round trip each day. Now we are down to 16 hours and we are going to assume a 10-hour workday (adjust the hours worked and your commute accordingly.) After those basics you have a whole 6 hours left.

You need to eat and shower, you need to groom and do other sorts of activities just to be able to sustain life. So let’s take another 2 hours off the clock for those activities. Down to 4 hours a day to do with as you wish. Oh wait, that may not be true, that would only be true if you have no extracurricular activities and no other responsibilities. So if you are lucky you have 4 hours, for everyone else let’s take it down to 2 hours. That’s 2 hours of what I will call “free” time. Even if you only have 2 hours left you can do a lot with that time if you focus on your priorities.

What you choose to do with that time is going to directly correlate to your overall success in life. Your health and your wealth will be improved or diminished in the choices you make around these “free” hours. You can choose to exercise for 30 minutes to an hour, you can choose to read or educate yourself, take an online class or go to a classroom, you can choose to write, meditate, visit with friends, join a social group, you can volunteer. Or you can sit on the couch and watch TV, surf the web, check out what everyone else is doing on Facebook and say I don’t have time when someone asks you to do something.

It’s not about having time; it’s about having priorities. I have learned and truly believe that if you have more than three priorities you have none. This makes sense since a priority by definition is a thing that is regarded as more important than something else. You can’t have a whole bunch of things that are the most important or of the same importance because, when that happens, nothing is really important at all, it all has the same value, meaning that none of it is a priority. This is the same for work priorities, you should only have three and the rest can be delegated or outsourced.

So this is where we remove time management and look at priority management. It’s time to pick your priorities (no more than three). Then when someone asks you to do something, it isn’t about not having time; it is about “that’s not my priority right now.”

When you say “I don’t have time” you are really saying that is not your priority right now. “I don’t have time to work out” translates to “it is not my priority to work out.” “I don’t have time to read or go back to school” really means, “reading and learning is not my priority right now.” If you are using those “free” hours a day on what you determine are your priorities, it’s perfectly fine to say “no” to other things that don’t fall into those categories. If they become priorities, then you will find time for them by removing other less important activities and reprioritizing what you are working on.

Now it’s time for a gut check – Think about the last time you said “I don’t have time”, what is the current priority taking the lead in that moment? Or the next time you say “I don’t have time,” what is the current priority taking the lead in the moment.

Did watching TV become the priority? Do you know that on average Americans watch 5 hours of TV per day: an hour using the Internet on a computer, an hour and seven minutes on a smartphone and two hours, 46 minutes listening to the radio? I assume the radio bit is in the car, but think about what would be possible if instead of listening to the radio (or satellite or iPod) in the car you listened to an audiobook or a personal development podcast? That is one heck of a way to use that dead time commuting to do something positive, and you still have those remaining “free” hours a day doing other important stuff while getting in your education and personal development.

All I’m asking you to do is challenge yourself next time you realize you’re about to say those four little words “I Don’t Have Time.” Challenge yourself to instead say, “That is not my priority right now. My priority is, (fill in the blank).” Then really think about the answer; is that really your priority? Is it a priority that will add value to your life, the lives of others, or add wealth and prosperity to your life? Is it a priority you can be proud of? One that you would gladly tell everyone you are working on? Or is it less of a priority and more of a bad habit that you have formed over a period of time?

Don’t let the “I don’t have time” excuse become a natural response. Use it to evaluate what it is you are doing and how those activities are serving you or not serving you.

Will you be better one year, three years, and five years down the road based on your current priorities? If not, what are you waiting for? It’s time to make a change and reevaluate those priorities.

Categories
Best Practices Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

The Stage Presence in Executive Presence

As a CEO or other top-ranking executive, you know that a winning leadership “presence” can enhance your professional image and help you achieve the goals that are meaningful to you. It also helps others view you as an authority, problem-solver, and “go-to” person.

“Executive Presence” is much like stage presence, charisma, and star quality. These words mean virtually the same thing: a personal magnetism that makes it impossible for people to take their eyes off you.

Many years ago, when Dick Cavett interviewed Katherine Hepburn on his popular TV show, he asked her, “What is star quality?” Hepburn replied, “I have no idea – but whatever it is, I’ve GOT it!”

The word “charisma” may be the oldest synonym for “star quality”. The Greeks used the word to mean “favor”. Charis was an attendant to Aphrodite, the goddess of love; “Charis” meant beauty and kindness. The word can be found repeatedly in the New Testament and is translated as “grace”. “Charismata” is the word used to refer to gifts from God: knowledge, healing, working miracles, prophecy; qualities that bring benefit to others.

In his August, 2011 article in The New York Times, Zachary Woolfe mentions the perspective offered by Ernest Hemingway:

“In his obsession with the Spanish bullfights, he spoke of the lust of the crowd and its desire to feel something special, a raw authenticity… What he mentions is the hush that would come over the crowd at the entrance of the toreadors. The people could sense the difference between those who did it for the fame, the paycheck, and those who had the old spirit. The crowd can sense the one with the authentic message, the connection to the truth.”

The sociologist, Max Weber, provided some insight with his contemporary use of the word “charisma” to describe a key quality of leadership. He wrote the following:

“Charisma is a certain quality of an individual personality by virtue of which he is set apart from ordinary men and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or specifically exceptional powers. These qualities are not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as of divine origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.”

As a business person, you may not need the charisma and star quality of Katherine Hepburn, a bull fighter, or a “divine one”, but you can still cultivate a personal magnetism that will help you achieve your professional goals. Here are characteristics of Executive Presence that you can cultivate for success:

Candor: The appearance of honesty, through the willingness and skill to constructively tell it like it is.

Clarity: The ability to tell your story in an intuitively clear and compelling way.

Openness: The appearance of not prejudging, of being willing to consider another’s point of view.

Passion: The expression of commitment, motivation, and drive that shows people you really believe in what you do.

Poise: The look of sophistication, conveying a background of education and experience.

Self-confidence: The air of assurance, such that others know you have the required strength and resolve.

Sincerity: The conviction of believing in and meaning what you say.

Thoughtfulness: The projection of thinking or having thought through something before responding.

Warmth: The appearance of being accessible to others and of being interested in them.

Each of the characteristics listed above is revealed through your physical presence/body language, as well as your verbal/vocal presence.

Gestures can add warmth and personality to a conversation or presentation and help illustrate a point. If your own personal style includes only small or very few gestures, remember to at least nod your head appropriately. This is an easy way to show that you are listening to, understanding, and connecting with your conversation partners.

Eye Contact occurs when two people look at each other’s eyes at the same time. In human beings, eye contact is a form of nonverbal communication and is thought to have a large influence on social behavior. In the United States, eye contact is often interpreted as a meaningful and important sign of confidence, respect, engagement, and even honesty.

Facial Expression: Smiling is one facial expression that is likely to put other people at ease and help them feel accepted and comfortable. You exude happiness and encouragement when you smile, so try to add it to more of your conversations. Scowling, chewing your lip and raising your eyebrows can all signal different meanings, so it is important to be aware of how your face looks during a conversation. When you speak for business and your topic is not a happy one, remember that you actually do have something to smile about: the fact that your listeners will benefit in some way from understanding the message you are bringing them.

Movement: We use body movement and proximity to send information on attitude toward a person (facing or leaning towards another), and desire to control the environment (moving towards or away from a person). Be aware of how your body movement sends messages. The physical distance between you and others signals your level of intimacy and comfort and is interpreted differently in different cultures.

Posture: “Body orientation” (the way you hold your body) sends strong messages to others. Remember that your posture is revealing and may ‘give you away” at any moment. Letting your body relax appropriately in a given situation (having fluid, smooth movements and facing your conversation partner, etc.) indicates confidence, poise, and engagement.

Appearance: This refers to everything you were not born wearing: all the choices we make in clothing, accessories, hairstyle, and makeup. The choices for a presentation range widely. A good rule of thumb is to dress “one step above” your listeners. See what highly-regarded people in your workplace are wearing during their presentations and emulate them – and/or ask someone in authority.

Speaking Pace (the speed at which you speak): Increase and decrease your pace strategically. A monotone is boring, and so is monopace; it can lull people to sleep! Pace also includes dramatic pauses to communicate many things, including to (1) emphasize a point, (2) give people a moment to think, and (3) surprise your listeners to deepen their level of engagement.

Speaking Pitch (the high and low tones of the speaking voice, altered with jumps and glides): Pitch can be used to convey energy, warmth, and sincerity. In American business, finishing a statement with a downward glide sounds certain and authoritative; ending with an upward glide communicates a yes/no question or uncertainty. To sound confident and authoritative, always end your statements with a pitch glide downward.

Vocal Projection (the energy and commitment in your voice, including volume): Emphasizing certain words by being louder or softer can add to the impact of what you are communicating. It’s important to project you voice so that everyone can hear clearly what you’re saying. Even if your volume bec
omes soft for dramatic effect, your energy level and commitment must successfully project your meaning and your passion.

Cultivate these qualities, and you won’t have to worry about stage presence, charisma, or star quality. You will possess a winning executive presence and enhanced power to influence and persuade your business listeners

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Be The Speaker You Want To Listen To

Do You Really Know Your Audience?

 

One rule of thumb that applies to almost every aspect of life is that just because something is simple, that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy.

 

When I was faculty at the University of Pennsylvania for a decade or so, teaching in a master’s program for educators, one of the rules of thumb I constantly reiterated was, “be the teacher you wish you’d had.”

 

That seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Yet so many of my students seemed to find it surprisingly difficult to apply in practice.

 

We can all recall boring lectures given by teachers and professors who seemed to be burnt out after years of teaching the same content day in and day out. For many, sadly, this seemed to be the rule rather than the exception.

 

But we can also recall those instructors who stood out, who made their subjects come to life, and lit a fire of curiosity and genuine interest in us that we never would have imagined possible in that subject.

 

This dichotomy is no different from what happens in corporate life.

 

When speaking to a group, whether in front of a camera, on stage or in the conference room, the seemingly simple rule of thumb is: be the speaker you’d actually want to listen to.

 

So why is it so difficult?

 

Whether professor or executive, it’s unlikely that most speakers aspire to be boring. Nobody actually wants to be remembered as the worst example of anything. But somewhere along the way, something gets lost in translation.

 

When you give a speech or presentation, facilitate a meeting, or even have a one-to-one conversation, what impression do you leave? Do you project confidence, approachability, authority, leadership, enthusiasm, and overall positive energy?

 

But what if you were sitting in the audience? Put yourself in their shoes (or seat, as the case may be.) What kind of speaker would you want to listen to? You’d probably use words like “inspiring,” “passionate,” “open” or “relatable.”

 

But in the vast majority of the meetings I’ve sat through, presentations I’ve seen and talks I’ve attended, the speaker comes across as under- or over-emotional, intense and unapproachable or bored (and boring), or like they’re just going through the motions to get the discussion over with and go back to whatever they’d rather be doing.

 

So what happens that creates such a gap between how you come across when you speak and how you want to come across?

 

First and foremost, you forgot the rule of thumb: to be the kind of speaker you’d want to listen to if you were in their seat.

 

Here’s video #1 from my mini-video series, “Capturing your Confidence on Camera,” with tips on how to connect with your audience:

 

It gives you ideas for how to frame your content and your delivery in a way that will help you connect with the audience.

 

Because when people walk into the room, subconsciously they are hoping you will answer one single question: “What’s in it for me?”

 

You can’t just run through your material with the sole purpose of checking off all the topics you think you need to cover. While this is the default approach most people take, that makes it all about you, and it comes across like a laundry list.

 

You have to think about who is in the audience, what matters to them, and what would make them leave feeling like their time spent with you was the best possible investment of their time, when there are so many other competing priorities.

 

Then, you not only need to consider the value of the content from their perspective, which gives people a reason to listen, you have to be mindful of how you deliver that information.

 

That’s where the experience shifts from one where your audience appreciates your content, to one in which your audience connects with you.

 

And that’s where the magic begins.

Categories
Growth Negotiations Skills

What is Coaching and Why It Matters to the C-Suite

I recently had lunch with a colleague I worked with 10 years ago at a major Fortune 100 corporation. After exchanging pleasantries, my colleague quickly got to the point of the lunch meeting. I thought we were having a lunch to catch up after many years. We did catch up. However, my colleague revealed that with the new job that brought he and his wife to Houston came new challenges that revealed gaps in his ability to be an effective leader. He said his wife suggested he get the help of an executive coach so he reached out to me.

With that explanation, I posed the question to my colleague I pose to anyone seeking my help: “What is coaching?” I ask that question to understand what my potential client’s experience with coaching is and what their frame of reference will be as we enter a coaching relationship. My colleague reluctantly admitted he really did not know what coaching is in practice. In this article, I will explain the answer I gave my colleague about what coaching is and why it matters to the C-Suite executive.

What Coaching Is Not

Before I explain what coaching is, I would like to explain what coaching is not. The word coach, for many people, conjures up images of sports. From their youth, many people have played sports or attended sporting events at school. Many remember all too well the image of a shouting coach trying to motivate players or persuade an official to make calls favorable for their team.

For others, the word coach has a different connotation. Some think of a minister, a therapist, or a senior business leader. There are others who may think of a consultant as they conflate coaching with consulting. For many years, for example, I ran an independent computer consulting practice where I was paid for my expertise in providing the right answers and solutions for my clients. Coaching, however, is very different. As a certified coach, I am not paid to provide answers or solutions for my clients. This is different from sports coaching or consulting where the coach or consultant has more experience and expertise and they are paid to transfer this to the client. In fact, when taking the practical portion of the coaching certification exam, a coach who gives answers to a client fails the exam. As a certified coach, as the old saying goes, my job is to “teach clients how to fish rather than give them a fish.” During the certification process, the trainer would often tell us “the coach owns the process, the client owns the content.” Put another way, “coaching is a PROCESS expertise, not a CONTENT expertise” said Master Certified Coach and best selling author, Laura Berman Fortgang in a workshop I attended.

What Is Coaching

So, what is coaching? In his New York Times best-selling book: “You Already Know How to Be Great,” Alan Fine defines coaching very simply as “helping others improve their performance.” The International Coach Federation, the most recognized certification body in the coaching industry, defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thoughtprovoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Early in my corporate career, during my time providing IT support for the financial services arm of General Electric, years before I envisioned myself as a professional coach, I remember the first time I heard the term coaching used in a professional setting. In those days, a coach was only hired as a last resort for someone who was not performing well. It was a secret whispered in the halls of the office. Hence, receiving coaching was considered an act of shame.

Years ago, when I first began working as an IT professional. We used to joke that anyone could call himself or herself an IT professional. All you had to do is show up and say: “I know how to fix computers!” and you were hired. Then the industry realized experience was not enough. There was a need for formal measurement of qualifications through certification. Now most IT professionals hold some sort of certification to validate their competency.

The same was true for many years in the coaching profession. Anyone who worked in human resources or as a business leader could call themselves a coach. As I experienced in the IT world, that led to various degrees of quality.

Today, things are very different. Organizations such as the International Coach Federation, the International Coaching Community and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council have raised the bar of the coaching profession by creating global ethics, standards and certification assessments. As a result, the global awareness of the power of coaching has increased. Effective coaching is recognized as an art and a science. Coaching is now considered a badge of honor! People are proud to say they have a coach! That means their company values them and wants to invest in their development because they view them as part of the company’s strategic plans and ultimate success.

Why Coaching Matters to the C-Suite

Top professional athletes such as Roger Federer, Serena Williams and Rory McIlroy recognize the need for a coach to stay on top of their game and maintain their edge throughout various stages of their career. “Corporate athletes” also need coaches. Consequently, many senior business leaders including those in the C-Suite now use a professional coach to help maintain their competitive edge.

For the C-Suite executive, engaging a professional coach facilitates continued investment in themselves by having the learning or the university brought to them in the comfort of their location or through technology. Having a coach also provides the C-Suite executive a sounding board, a confidant and an advisor to deal with the demands of their role.

Certified professional coaches specialize in life, career, business and executive coaching. Professional coaching is different than giving instruction, advice or sharing expert insights. Professional coaching is a very rewarding process that transforms individuals and organizations by helping them unlock their own rich potential, create new options and value leading to improved performance and satisfaction.

Eddie Turner is a C-Suite Advisor ™ and a change agent who has worked for several of the world’s “most admired companies.” He is an international speaker who is certified as an executive coach and facilitator. Eddie is a global workshop and program facilitator for the Association for Talent Development and for Harvard Business School Publishing. He has studied at Harvard and Northwestern Universities. Eddie “works with leaders to accelerate performance and drive business impact!”™ Contact Eddie at (312) 287-9800 or eddie@eddieturnerllc.com