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Category: Skills

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Best Practices Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

How to Avoid Conflict – Part 1

At some point or other, we all have to have important conversations that have the potential to get ugly and uncomfortable. When in doubt, I say do your best to avoid the conflict.

I’m not talking about avoiding people in the hallways, refusing to answer the phone or saying “yes” to everyone – whether or not you mean it – so that you don’t have to say “no.”

There will always be disagreements and necessary discussions about difficult or unpleasant topics. But these conversations do not need to degenerate into round after round of browbeating to try to get your point across.

Ideally, the goal is to address the issue in a way that gets to the heart of the matter, and reaches a mutually agreeable resolution quickly and efficiently without raising voices or blood pressure. There is one intuitive – and yet commonly overlooked – key that can keep most disagreements in the realm of civil, productive discussion.

The key is consciously listening to understand. This is where most people fall woefully short in both their efforts and their outcomes. Listening to understand is critical to avoiding real argument for one crucial reason: most people continue to argue a point because they feel like they have not truly been heard or understood.

Most people think that they listen, but the short answer is that they don’t do it right. Let’s look at the difference and key strategies for listening in a way that gets to a peaceful, positive, and productive result.

 

Listening “wrong”

In disagreements, most people “listen” in order to find an opportunity to interrupt, contradict, or defend. This isn’t sincere listening; it’s more like scanning the horizon for the best time to retaliate.

When both parties are simultaneously focused proving why they are correct and the other is wrong, what they are both (rightfully) saying is, “You’re not listening to me!”

This quickly leads to an impasse with one of two outcomes: The first is that both sides leave feeling frustrated, with no resolution to the issue at hand. In the second, one side “wins” by forcing the other side to concede, i.e. lose. This leaves the winner with a bitter-sweet “victory,” and the loser feeling resentful, a combination that will have a variety of negative repercussions down the line in the form of morale, work quality, and office politics just to name a few.

The irony is that when people are able to voice their concerns, and truly feel like they have been heard and understood, they are often willing to accept “no” for an answer. So how does that work?

 

Listening “right”

When you listen to understand, you start by erasing any presuppositions and assumptions that you already know what they’re going to say and why. Instead, you enter the conversation from the perspective that there’s a missing piece, something you don’t yet know or understand about their position, priorities, interests or concerns. Be curious.

Invite the other person to share first. A good strategy is to take notes as you listen, which serves several purposes. First, you can record any key points so that you don’t forget them, which serves as a good future reference resource.

Second, you can jot down any questions or other thoughts you want to share. Don’t get me wrong – the idea is not to list all the points you disagree on just so you can launch into a point-counterpoint debate when it’s your turn to speak. That feels litigious, not collaborative or respectful.

Writing down your ideas as you listen has a variety of benefits. First and foremost, it keeps you from interrupting. When people aren’t interrupted, they feel more respected and less stressed or frustrated, which helps to keep the peace. But it also gives you a chance to reflect and organize your thoughts before you do finally speak, which can streamline the process, avoid clumsy and emotionally-charged knee-jerk responses, and help you prioritize issues to address.

 

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In part 2 we’ll address Talking from Listening: once you’ve heard them out, what do you say to keep things moving in the right direction?

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

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Best Practices Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

How to Avoid Conflict – Part 2

In my previous blog, we looked at the difference between “Listening Wrong” and “Listening Right” as a part of “Listening to Understand,” a fundamental principle in laying the ground work to have a potentially difficult conversation in a way that is constructive rather than combative.

Now, let’s look at strategies for when it’s your turn to talk, after you have successfully demonstrated listening to understand. 

Once the other person has finished sharing their perspective, don’t sabotage the exchange by launching into a “now it’s my turn to talk and your turn to listen” monologue. Remember that you entered the conversation with the initial goal of understanding their perspective. So the first step you need to take in line with this goal is to confirm your understanding.

A great segue can be as simple as, “Thanks for taking the time to explain that to me. I want to make sure I understand the key issues. Can I run through my main takeaways based on what I heard, and you can correct me if I’m off somehow?” Who would say no to such a request?

Once you have the go-ahead, start by paraphrasing your understanding of their key points. You should use simple, reporting language such as, “You said that your budget _____,” or “Did I understand correctly that in your department _____,” or “Your primary concern is that _____, right?” Whatever you do, do not comment on anything yet.

This step also serves multiple purposes with mutual benefits. From the other person’s side, they are happy to know that you are valuing their input enough to take time to ensure that you understood it. Plus, it is reassuring for them to have you confirm that whatever they said was received as it was intended. This builds trust and facilitates further discussion.

More importantly, paraphrasing this way ensures that you actually did understand all of their key points. Misunderstandings could be due to missing or improperly stated information in their initial explanation, or perhaps you were writing something down and didn’t catch something else they said at the time.

Regardless of the cause, once you have had a chance to confirm the facts, then everyone is satisfied that all key information is on the table, and, most importantly, they feel relieved to know that they have been heard and understood.

From there, you can transition into sharing your side of the story with something like, “Okay, well, let’s start with _____.” It’s important to keep your language objective, and if you feel like their view on something is incorrect, keep your explanation fact-based, calm and impersonal. There’s a big difference between saying, “There are a few details I don’t think your team is aware of,” and, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

If the other person does not play by the same rules and interrupts you when it’s your turn, you can explicitly draw their attention to the contrast and make a respectful request: “I’m sure you’ll have some comments and questions, which I welcome, but I listened to you without interrupting, and would appreciate the same courtesy in return.” You can offer them some paper to take notes on while they listen, for their own benefit, and ask them to paraphrase what they understood when you’re done, so they can follow your model more completely as well.

At best, once you have heard each other out, and truly sought to understand each other’s objectives and reasons, you can come to a solution that meets everyone’s needs. But at the very least, if the answer still has to be “no,” there is still potential for positive outcome.

At that point, “no” can sound more like, “I truly appreciate the fact that/your concern about ___. For now, we have to prioritize _____ because of _____, but I understand the impact that it will have on your situation, so…”

Even though the other person might not be happy with the immediate result, it’s much easier for them to accept the outcome because they understand why, and are emotionally satisfied that they have been respected as a person and a professional.

In the end, difficult topics are addressed productively without fighting and casualties of war, and respectful relationships are not only maintained but strengthened. You’re not avoiding the issue, you’re avoiding creating a mess.

More importantly, you’re leading by example, and fostering a healthy culture of open communication, transparency, and mutual respect.

That’s the difference between someone who has a leadership position, and someone who is a leader.

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Growth Leadership Skills

4 Presentation Tips to Manage Space to Control the Room and Influence Results

4 Presentation Tips to Manage Space to Control the Room and Influence Results

Gender research will tell you that men take up more space than women. Physically, when a man and a woman sit next to each other in public transportation, it’s common to see what’s called “manspreading. Manspreading is a sitting position with legs spread apart that encroaches on the space of the adjacent passenger. So, what does this have to do with public speaking?

Public speaking demands the mastery of space.

One way to identify a seasoned presenter is to observe how they manage their space. Top public speakers master the use of space because:

  • it gives them greater rapport with the audience
  • allows them to manage the room and control group dynamics
  • and ultimately influence results.

It takes more than crafting a good speech. The presenter must coordinate and use space strategically to lead the audience. The importance of space is often overlooked.

Dianne Budion Devitt, renowned event designer speaks about space in meetings and events experiences. She states, “Awareness is increased when you relate it to all aspects of space, whether, it’s physical, digital, inner or outer space”.

Here are 4 areas to address when you are a public speaker or presenter.

Physical Space –How often does a speaker arrive at a venue with little or no knowledge of the space and room set-up? Yet, space is a communication. By asking the right questions and arriving early presenters can take charge of a venue to maximize the space.

Is the platform too high? One presenter gave a talk to a sales group. The setting was a bandshell type stage. The audience sat at tables away from the platform. The challenge was that the platform was too high and far away making it difficult to create intimacy. The choice here would be to step down and speak from the floor to be closer to eye level with the audience. You don’t have to use the stage just because it’s there.

Is the room too long or narrow? I once spoke at a lunch meeting. The room was narrow and very long. People were crowded together at a lengthy board table for 50 people. The lectern was in the front of the room. With this lack of physical space, the people sitting in the middle and back of the table were at an extreme disadvantage. Instead of remaining in front, I chose to move to the middle. And then I moved to another spot. This created more of a relationship, improved sound quality, and the entire audience felt included.

Is the room too large?  This is often the case when a training room that can accommodate 40 people is reserved for a group of eight. The space then becomes overwhelming. The best bet is to move the tables and chairs close to the front. Otherwise, there is too much distance from the audience when the instructor is near the screen.

Personal Space– Body space, or Proxemics, is the study of the space between the sender and receiver. This space influences how a message is interpreted and can vary according to cultures. According to Edward T. Hall, there are four zones:

  • Intimate-this space is up to 10 inches and reserved for friends and family
  • Casual-18 inches to four feet is for informal conversations
  • Social-Four to 12 feet is appropriate for more formal communication
  • Public-12-25 feet

When speaking one-on-one, the presenter may choose a casual or social distance. The intimate space may seem intrusive unless you are friendly colleagues. The listener doesn’t want their space invaded, so use good judgement and respect personal space.

Where are you positioned? When giving a one-on-one sales presentation do you want to be across a table or side-by-side? This is a strategic decision. A table or desk can be a barrier. To create intimacy in an interview, it’s better to leave the desk and sit on the sofa or on two chairs facing each other. If the intention is to convey authority, sitting across a large desk will communicate dominance.

When we were dealing with a difficult real estate developer, my husband called a meeting with their attorney. We arrived early and he decided we would each sit on opposite sides of the table forcing the attorney into the less powerful position between us. When the attorney walked into the room, he took one look and quickly sat down beside me. He was no fool. He knew that space is power.

How you enter a room communicates leadership. Do you confidently walk to the center of the room, plant yourself and look directly at the audience? Or do you stand off to the side? Do you move toward or away from the audience? How close you position yourself to the audience will communicate intimacy or formality.

Do you work the room?  Public speakers who stand behind a lectern communicate formality. The most confident speakers use space by walking to different sections of the platform and talking to a section of the audience.

What do your hands say about space? Gestures add or detract from a presentation depending on the amount of space used. When speaking on a large stage, more expansive gestures denote confidence because the speaker is taking up space.

Recently, one man in my presentation skills seminar seemed to gesture with his elbows glued to his side. He started to refer to his “raptor arms” when he realized he wasn’t using the space effectively.

More commonly, presenters violate space by gesturing too widely. This was the issue with Bill Clinton in his early political career. His wide, sweeping gestures didn’t communicate trust. He learned to stay in the box between his waist and face. More contained gestures communicate the speaker is confident and in control.

White Space-A huge challenge for many presenters is the absence of space. Imagine reading a newspaper without any punctuation. It’s confusing and takes longer to read. That’s how an audience experiences a presentation without space or “white noise.” The brain needs time to process. Without delivering a few beats of silence between the words, the speaker loses the audience and the message doesn’t get through. There is power in silence. Master the pause.

Pianist, Arthur Schnabel once said, “The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes – ah, that is where the art resides.”

Mental Space– What are you saying to yourself? Do you create space in your head to listen and receive the audience?  Leadership requires a clear mind. Most presenters fill their minds with negative chatter, focusing on their nerves or what could go wrong. When presenters are thinking about nervousness they are living in the future. Instead, focus on the breath. Come into the present moment to clear the mind and create a space of openness.

There is no greater gift than to be fully present.

Diane DiResta, CSP, is Founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc., a New York City consultancy serving business leaders who deliver high stakes presentations— whether one-to-one, in front of a crowd or from an electronic platform.   DiResta is the author of Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz, an Amazon.com category best-seller and widely-used text in college business communication courses. DiResta Communication Inc. Diane is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation held by less than 12% of speakers nationwide. And her blog, Knockout Presentations, made the Top 50 Pubic Speaking blogs

Categories
Best Practices Growth Management Skills

Motivation and Alignment

 

In the previous article on motivation we explored how to motivate your team. This article takes you deeper on the topic of alignment, which is aligning the people on your team with their gifts, contributions, and brilliance.

We have discussed internal vs. external motivators and how people are motivated in the long-term intrinsically, from within. In this article we are going to look at how you can help your employees tap into their intrinsic motivations for better results and higher performance.

To do this you will start by learning who your team members are so you can help them contribute in a way that is meaningful for them. One of the topics I discuss with clients is identifying your unique brilliance and the brilliance of each person on your team. When you know your brilliance and theirs it becomes much easier to align each team member with the tasks and projects where they will have the most impact and provide the best results.

For example (a simple example), do you have a team member who loves working on complex problems? Don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work or have them finalize the PowerPoint deck or at least don’t ask them to do it for very long. You want to find the team member who thrives on repetitive tasks and processes to pick up the phone and make cold calls or format the spreadsheet.

Of course it goes much deeper than that and there are lots of ways to learn about who your people are. The easiest way to start is to spend time talking to people and asking them what lights them up, but there are also some terrific assessments you can use. I use the Core Values Index (CVI) Assessment by Taylor Protocols with my clients in addition to discussing their unique brilliance with them through an exercise I’ve developed on this topic, creatively named the Unique Brilliance tool.

The reason I also use the CVI assessment is because it easy to use, quick to take, and the insights each individual receives along with the discussion on what lights them up provides invaluable information on how they prefer to contribute.

If you want a copy of the Unique Brilliance tool you can find it along with other resources at www.c-suiteresults.com and you can also email me at sharon@c-suiteresults.com and ask for a copy. It’s important for you to not only understand your gifts and brilliance, but also help your team understand theirs. You can also take the CVI for free from the C-Suite Results Website to get a glimpse of the type of information it provides.

Once you truly know who is on your team and how they are motivated to contribute you can align more of their tasks and responsibilities with the way they are wired to contribute. Of course no one can always do the fun tasks and avoid the boring or difficult ones, but the more you can provide your team with opportunities to truly contribute in a meaningful way, the more they will go above and beyond and really show you how they shine.

This is a key step in creating high performance teams, reducing turnover, and getting better results.  I encourage you to start exploring this idea on your own or with help from others. If I can be of assistance you can reach me via email at sharon@c-suiteresults.com

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Reframing the Perception of Conflict

 

At some point or other, we’ve all taken leadership style or personality “tests,” whether the DISC assessment, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or one of myriad others on the market. But one scale I haven’t seen explicitly identified on any commercially available tools is how people perceive conflict.

 

Notice I did not say how they handle conflict. In my experience, a critical factor is whether and how people perceive conflict in the first place, as that is the catalyst that triggers the response. Once you start to see how differently people experience the concept of “conflict,” it becomes remarkably clear why they engage in it or avoid it the way that they do, and how you need to handle a situation in order to get the results you want in a way that is both collaborative and effective.

 

First, think about conflict not as a yes-or-no issue, but on a gray scale, with “peace” and “war” at the opposite extremes, separated by a wide range of degrees of intensity, which might look something like this:

Because of the range of degrees of this scale, the issue becomes one of personal tolerance, kind of like your personal tolerance for spicy food. These different degrees of conversational intensity, such as disagreement, debate and fight, always exist. At that point, the question then becomes at what point you start to feel a sense of genuine anxiety, and when that anxiety reaches a level that is intolerable, which makes you want (or need) to end the conversation – whether through fight or flight.

 

For people who tend to have a lower tolerance for conflict-related anxiety, they may view the scale like this:

 

From their perspective, they can only have a conversation comfortably as long as they know that they will not have to discuss anything that will make either or both people unhappy, because unhappiness reflects conflict, and conflict triggers anxiety, which is not tolerable. This is why people who are highly conflict-averse may tend to avoid engaging in some important conversations. Peace/Agreement Discussion Disagreement Debate Argument Fight Battle War Tolerable Anxiety Intolerable Anxiety Peace/Agreement Discussion Disagreement Debate Argument Fight Battle War 2 Ironically, it is often through the efforts and extents people go through in attempt to avoid conflict that they end up making a bad situation worse, as problems are allowed to fester

 

On the other hand, people who have a higher tolerance for conflict-based anxiety may view the scale more like this:

To these people, a good intellectual debate is just that: a debate, to explore the differences in ideas, whether for the purposes of trying to learn from each other, or to persuade the other person to change their view. As long as the discourse doesn’t get personal, most commentary is fair game.

 

Often people with much higher tolerance conflate being blunt with being efficient. Needless to say, this is also not a particularly good way to lead, if your goal is to build loyal and effective teams and customer relationships.

 

I strongly encourage you to share the models with your team and have an open discussion to compare where people identify their own tolerance levels. Once you understand how you perceive conflict and at what point that conflict puts you in a state of intolerable anxiety, especially relative to someone else’s tolerance, you’ll be better able to understand why your response to conflict defaults a certain way. Only then will it be possible to discover what you need to do to promote open discussion in a way that creates trust, and increases productivity and overall success.

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Skills

Quickly Increase your Performance

You have likely lost sleep at some point in your career trying to figure out what you could do to increase your performance at work or the performance of your team. If you are a leader with high ambition and big goals, it makes sense that you have given this a lot of thought.

I want to talk about one key skill that you can apply immediately to increase your own performance or help your team apply it for maximum results. You don’t need to buy anything, log onto anything, or spend time reading technical manuals. All you need to do is listen.

That’s right I’m talking about improving your listening skill as a way to increase your performance.

Ineffective listening is the cause of many breakdowns between co-workers, teams, and companies as well as the cause of many accidents. With ineffective listening instructions get missed, production decreases, sales and customers are lost, and personality clashes create poor morale.

When you are in a conversation are you more focused on talking or listening? We often forget that there are two parts of communicating, one is talking and the other is listening and in all actuality listening is the more important of the two components.

Poor listening habits can often be attributed to a lack of training and like any skill, listening can be learned, practiced, and mastered.

When you communicate through focused listening you build better relationships that will help take you personally and professionally to the next level of your success. When you want to make an important sale you have to know your client or customer, what their problems are and then communicate how you can solve their problem. Without listening you are going to miss out on the key facts you need to build that relationship and make the sale. Your client does not want to hear you talk about you and how great you are, they want you to listen to them and tell them how you can fix their problems.

The same is true for listening to your co-workers and team members; you have to know who they are in order to help motivate them to work the long hours on the priority project or to go above and beyond for the client. When you listen to those you work with you understand what drives them and that allows you to create stronger teams and more loyal employees. You know that turnover is very costly and this is one aspect of retaining employees, letting them know you are listening and that you care about them through your actions, which start with listening.

When your intent in communicating is all about what you are going to say next, you are not truly listening. I know you are conscious of how rude it is to interrupt another person while having a conversation and if you are thinking to yourself during the same conversation “what am I going to say next,” you are in effect doing the same thing. You did interrupt them because you were not listening, so what they just said may as well not been said since you didn’t hear it.

This makes listening the key step to a good conversation and even more importantly a tough conversation. You want to listen to understand, listen to gather information, and listen with no interruption (audibly or in your head.)

Once you have listened and heard what the other person is telling you, then you have the opportunity to talk. But your turn to talk means clarifying what they have said, making sure they know you heard them, and confirming what they want and need.

The goal of most communication should be to have the other person do more of the talking while you guide the conversation with open-ended questions that are meant to be clarifying and compassionate. When you have clarified everything you can then ask them “do you mind if I share with you my thoughts on this situation?” Most likely they are ready to hear your thoughts because you took the time to listen and they felt heard. At this point they really do want to know what you think.

You can also let them feel heard by saying “I hear that this is stressful for you and that makes sense based on what you told me…..” Get their confirmation that you hard them correctly and ask if you can share some ideas that might help. They are ready to hear what you have to share because they appreciate the time you took to really hear them even if what you have to share is not good news.

The other thing to remember is that what you say is important, but how you say it is just as important if not more important. People will remember how you made them feel long after they have forgotten what you actually said. If you can remain calm and compassionate they are going to feel it and appreciate you.

Next time someone comes to you with a problem or an idea make sure you are ready to fully listen and if it’s not a time where you can give them your undivided attention tell them that. Say “now is not a good time for me to be fully present, can we schedule some time later today or tomorrow?” Let them know what they have to say is important and you want to be sure you are fully present to hear them. Remember people want to be heard and they will appreciate this, which goes a long way with clients and employees.

Not only will this help improve your performance as you start to hear more ideas around you, it will create bonds with those who need and want your services.

 

For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Industries Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Power Speaking Skills:  Strategies to Increase Harmony in Conversation, Part 1: Tone of Voice:

In this video, Maria tells you how to increase harmony in challenging business conversations by monitoring and modifying your tone of voice.

The Successful Speaker, Inc. video series provides speaking strategies that will help you enhance your credibility and leadership presence during meetings, sales presentations, conversations with senior management, networking events, and even by phone.

The video series addresses every aspect of successful speaking, including how to sound authoritative, speak with credibility, master active listening, and engage your listeners. The videos also provide speaking strategies rooted in theatrical performance, providing tips on how to build belief and captivate your business listeners.

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Executive Story Telling Lessons from Pixar

When I’m working with clients on their public speaking and presentation skills, one of the more common questions I get is, “I keep hearing that I’m supposed to tell stories, but where do you get your stories? I’m not a storyteller. How do you find them, and how do you know when to use them?”

There are lots of places where a well-timed, well-honed anecdote will be far more compelling than a dry, technical explanation. But what story should you use? That’s often the sticking question for many people. If only it was as easy as taking ideas from movies, but we can’t do that… or can we?
Pixar – the movie giant of Toy Story fame – has teamed up with Kahn Academy to create a program called “Pixar in a Box,” offering a range of different creative virtual training programs, and the newest series is “The Art of Storytelling.” While their short, interactive videos, transcripts, lesson plan and activity sequences are typically aiming for those in more entertainment-oriented industries, the exercises are great mind-openers to concepts and strategies that are very applicable in the corporate world. The concept of using storytelling in presentations and the like is not new, although it certainly has become more popular in recent years. Pixar’s take on it gives it a new spin, along with a step-by-step tutorial on how to build a story that has impact. While you may not be looking to create a 90-minute animated comedy feature film like Inside Out, figuring out how to use these strategies to weave compelling and persuasive anecdotes into your presentations, discussions, and other exchanges is a true skill worth developing. The key is about bringing information to life. It’s about painting pictures for the listener in a way that helps them personally relate to the topic at hand, where they can visualize what you describe, imagine smells and textures, and empathetically feel the emotions you want to evoke. If you’ve ever watched a Pixar film, you know they are the masters at this. (And if you have never seen a Pixar movie, that’s your first homework assignment this weekend! Try Finding Nemo or Monsters, Inc.) Do you need to go through all of the lessons like how to do storyboarding? Maybe not, but you never know! Maybe it will give you ideas for how to direct your IT department or graphics department on what kind of visuals you want in your slide deck. Or maybe it will get your creative juices flowing to help get you unstuck by doing different kinds of pencil sketches for 30 seconds instead of trying to compose in a linear format when you don’t know where to start and the blinking cursor is just staring at you on the screen. The nice part is that you can skip any pieces you don’t feel like exploring and jump around to the parts that peak your interest. The series is currently under construction but the first couple of lessons are already available. So go ahead, at your next lunch break, take a peek, watch one of their videos (each one is just a couple of minutes long) and play with an exercise or two just to see what it stimulates in your mind and on the paper. You may just find you’re a natural storyteller after all!

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Growth Management Skills

The Dirtiest Word In Business – Multitasking

There is one word in Corporate America that makes my blood boil. It’s not the typical clichés like synergy, think outside the box, right size, paradigm shift, or leverage. It’s a word used in job descriptions as a positive skill and one used as an excuse too many times to count for why someone is not listening during a meeting.

The word is “multitasking”! I hate this word more than any other word in business and in life for that matter. “Multitasking” is what society has decided means it’s OK to stop listening to those you are talking to. When did that become a skill to be proud of?

Keep reading if you feel that you or your team could be more productive, but you are not sure how. Let’s talk about why multitasking is not real, why it’s not an asset to your organization, and then examine what you can do about it so that you and your team are more productive and more effective.

“I’m sorry can you repeat yourself? I was multitasking,” was a phrase I would hear at least 5 times on each call with one particular client. As a consultant I politely said sure and repeated myself while in my head I was screaming, cussing, and thinking, “How rude are you to waste my time and everyone else’s time on this call by making us repeat ourselves because you have more important things to do. Well excuse me for interrupting your day with what I believe is your job.”

That’s an example I’ve experienced on phone calls, but it happens so often in conference rooms too. There is the one person sitting in the conference room with you and your team looking at their phone whether for text or email. They look up when someone says their name for the second time to blank stares of the people waiting for them to answer a question. They of course say, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I was multitasking,” and the person repeats the question.

If you are going into a meeting and you are not responsible for keeping the lights on or the network running there is really no reason to have your phone. I’ve heard the excuse, “Well, I have to look at my calendar so I know where my next meeting is.” Great, then look at it between meetings or write it down on a piece of paper like we used to. 99% of the time you don’t need your phone during the meeting. I believe there should be a no phone rule in all meetings and that goes for everyone in the room.

It seems that people have turned to technology for everything, but most business problems are really people problems. That means technology cannot always solve our problems and it is time to put the technology down and step away. It is time to get back to the human connection that built this country and economy. It is time to start communicating and respecting each other again and that cannot be done behind the screen of your phone, tablet, or laptop.

When people say they are multitasking, they are typically talking about doing two things like reading and listening or listening and writing at the same time. They make claims – to themselves and others – like, “Keep talking, I can listen while I type this report,” “I can be present on the conference call while reading the email that just came in,” “I can write this presentation while watching the news.” Can you really do those things simultaneously? The answer is that you cannot and there is a scientific reason why.

The reason you cannot do these things at the same time is because all those activities are being handled by the same part of the brain and your brain cannot do multiple things at the same time that are processed from the same place.

Yes, you can walk and talk, or read and walk on the treadmill, or listen to music and clean the kitchen at the same time. You can use different parts of your brain at the same time for those activities. But you cannot use the same part of your brain for multiple tasks at the same time.

It might feel like you are doing them at the same time, but in reality your brain is switching back and forth between the two tasks. One moment you are writing and the next you are listening and then back and forth. That means you are hearing half of what is being said and slowing down your thoughts around what you are writing or working on. You are most likely increasing your error rate while decreasing your effectiveness and productivity, neither of which are benefits to you or your organization. Don’t forget the fact that you are being rude in the process.

Did you know that on average people look at their phones nine times an hour and 110 times a day? That’s once every six to seven minutes! That is not my definition of productivity. If you stop what you are working on that frequently to look at your phone, how long does it take you to get back on track once you stop looking at your phone? If an employee is working on a project, how much is your company spending on them to check their phone when they could be working on the project, delivering it faster and for a lower cost? How about you? How much is it costing the company when you do the same thing, at your salary?

This is not just about work and meetings; it’s also about life and how we treat our family and friends. Nowadays, it’s commonplace for people to look at phones while at the dinner table; to hold their phone during a conversation indicating that something more important might show up in the form of a text, email, or call; or to read email while chatting on the phone. I am guilty of this, and I am working to do better. The first step is admitting that something needs to change and then observing our patterns so we can change the actions.

Start to take inventory every time you stop to look at your phone. When you think you are multitasking, what is it costing you and your company? What about the conference call that could take 20 minutes that ends up taking 40 minutes because people have to keep repeating themselves? How much focus and money are you actually losing to multitasking?

Every time you catch yourself saying “what?” to someone, check in with yourself to see what happened. Were you truly unable to hear or understand what they said, or were you not paying full attention? Become more self-aware of your own habit around multitasking.
Decide what kind of leader do you want to be and then be that leader. Be the change you want to see in your organization and then lead by example, walk the talk and create an organization of respect where everyone is more productive and more present. Only good things can happen if you chose to take this journey, so will join me in debunking the multi-tasking myth?

For more resources or to contact me please visit www.c-suiteresults.com