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Entrepreneurship Negotiations Operations Skills Women In Business

“Trust Is The Most Important Factor In A Negotiation” – Negotiation Insight

“Without trust, the factor of truth becomes inconsistent.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

“Trust Is The Most Important Factor In A Negotiation”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

As the negotiation began, it was open and respectful. The two negotiators engaged with the honest intent of reaching an outcome that both parties could embrace. In part, the interaction was calm because the two negotiators were friends, and they had a high degree of trust for one another. Little did they know, within two weeks, their deal would unravel. It would be due to a factor that would strain the negotiator’s friendship going forward. And it would raise doubts about how they could trust one another in the future. The factor that threatened their future relationship was born out of a third party’s actions. Someone that wasn’t involved in the initial negotiation. The following is how you can protect yourself from having this happen to you.

 

Memorialize Agreement

When capturing the covenant of a negotiated agreement, do it as close to the party’s settlement as possible. Even if best of friends say, “we can do this deal on a handshake,” memorialize it. At best, you’ll have an audit trail of the agreed outcome. At worse, the documentation can serve as a guide to reinitiate negotiations.

In either case, no matter with whom you negotiate, document the understanding of what the parties are to do next. The document will be your roadmap. It can also be a factor that provides insights to draw upon for your future negotiations with others.

 

Consider How Your Deal Might Unravel

Question – when do you have a problem? Answer – at the problem’s inception. Question – when does a problem’s inception occur? Answer – when you’re made aware of it.

One moment, you have a deal, and then the next moment you don’t. The best deals can fall apart when it’s time to produce the results of the agreement. And agreements are most vulnerable between the period of understanding the deliverables and delivering them. And, many factors can play a role in disrupting what the negotiators agreed upon as an outcome. Factors such as trust can wreak havoc on a negotiated transaction (i.e., I wonder if the other negotiator will deliver what we agreed, third parties, etc.)

To guard your deal against unraveling, don’t become complacent while waiting for the deliverable of the agreement to occur. If you do, you may find yourself waiting for a disaster. Be proactive by reaching out to the other party. Ask if everything is on schedule. And question if there are any negative occurrences on the horizon that might affect the deal, etc.. What you’re seeking are signs that the deal might be coming apart.

Some negotiators think you run the risk of inviting the other party to renegotiate the deal when you ask if it is still on target. But, if the agreement is in the process of failing, you’re already in a renegotiation state. You’re just not aware of it.

Don’t wait for a problem to come to you. Go to it and address it on your terms. You’ll have more leverage in doing so because you’ll have greater control of it at that time.

 

Sounds of Broken Trust

If you listen intently when a negotiator speaks, you can hear the sounds he makes as he’s breaking trust. Those sounds will be in the form of the words he uses to explain why he can no longer commit to the deal. He may say things like, “I didn’t remember agreeing to that. Or, I thought you meant something else.” Regardless of the excuse, the documented agreement can serve as a refresher of what the two of you agreed.

In the situation mentioned in the opening, the third party that injected himself into the negotiation stated that the negotiator whose side he was on didn’t recall agreeing to the covenants that were specified. With that, he pushed the talks back to the two friends. That maneuver created angst in the partner of the third party.

The person negotiating without a partner noticed the quickness with which the third party wanted to conclude the conversation with him. And that set off a silent alarm. At that point, the lone negotiator suspected his friend would be breaking the trust they’d established about their agreement. That was confirmed when his friend offered a new deal. When asked what occurred with the prior arrangement, the response was a jumble of apologies. The lone negotiator’s regret was, he wished he’d recognized the sounds of broken trust sooner. That would have given him more time to salvage a deal that had already gone astray.

 

The Price of Broken Trust

No matter your environment, be it in a negotiation or a friendly exchange of information, when there’s a trust void, caution is at hand. And when people are cautious, they’re more measured with their thoughts and actions. Plus, broken trust can belabor a future negotiation due to the negotiators wondering when the other might break trust again. Accordingly, they’ll make offers and counteroffers tenuously, which will hinder the pace of the negotiation.

Always be aware that there’s a cost when you abandon trust. The best way to address that mindfulness is to heighten your awareness about what you agree to, and being willing to live with your agreement. Trust is a precious commodity. And thus, it something to be cherished.

 

Reflection

The two friends renegotiated a new deal because the lone negotiator wanted his friend to experience the win he was seeking. But what the third party and the other negotiator didn’t realize was the lone negotiator had a factor that would test their trust in the future. He thought a win is a win until it’s no longer a win. And since he knew that you’re always negotiating, he planned to reopen the negotiation in six months. You see, when trust is orphaned, it can become adopted by the person that embraces it, which enhances that person’s appeal. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Trust #Factor #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“This Is How To Win Comparisons In The Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“The value of what you compare lies in the value of what you’re comparing.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“This Is How To Win Comparisons In The Negotiation”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

When people evaluate situations, they may not realize it, but they’re making comparisons. About that, you should raise your level of consciousness; because it’s a truism. In some instances, people compare a present situation to the ones that appear related to prior cases. At other times, they compare the current condition to the possibility of future outcomes. And that’s especially true during a negotiation. Regardless of the timeframe, when making comparisons, you’re evaluating the course of action to take. Thus, in your negotiation and other aspects of your life, when making comparisons, be aware of the impact that the following factors have on the outcome.

 

Listening

An intricate part of good communications in a negotiation, and other interactions, is the ability to listen well. To understand someone’s perspective, first, you must listen to what they say about the situation that’s before them. That’ll give you a mental picture of that person’s perception, and the opinion they have about it. That’ll also be the insight source that determines which comparisons to draw from later in the conversation.

If you’re astute, you’ll listen to the words they use to express themselves, the degree of excitement they share while doing so, and the pace at which they speak – word choice gives vision to someone’s thoughts. Thus, by being attentive to their word choices, you’ll gain a more profound sense of their emotional mind. And that’s the reason why you should listen for a deeper meaning than just the conveyance of their words. To do that, you must give that person the time and space they need to let their feelings be known, heard, and shared.

 

Tension/Apprehension

While you’re actively listening, note the comparisons someone makes while they’re speaking. In particular, observe the points about the tensions or apprehensions they’ve encountered. That’ll give you more clues about the pain they’ve experienced. Later, you’ll be able to employ that information as anchoring points of negativity or positivity during the negotiation.

Most people are moved to action by fear of loss, versus gaining something they don’t currently possess. Thus, if you hear someone speak about protecting what they have, catalog it for later use. At the appropriate time, make a comparison to a situation in which they lose something they have. Then, create a worse condition scenario than the first one. After that, offer your solution as the savior of their woes. By initially making comparisons to a bad situation and one that’s worse, your best-case offering will appear more pleasing, and more likely to be accepted.

 

Anchoring

Anchoring occurs when you set someone’s initial point of perspective. Thus, if someone said your price was too high, you might ask, compared to what? In their response would be the answer to what they were comparing your price. And there’d be gold in their reply. Because they will have given you their anchoring point about why they thought your price was high.

At that point, you’ll have a momentary advantage in the negotiation. That advantage will be in the form of thoughts, ideas, and positions from which to find a medium point. You might consider evoking some of the points you gathered while listening to the tensions and apprehensions that individual had in the past. Or, if warranted, you might instead employ something from the positive aspects of which they spoke.

The point is, you should seek to anchor that person’s perspective to the point that will best serve your purpose. In theory, that would be a position that was best for both of you. That would allow the perception of your point to become embraced as being more solvable to the challenge at hand. And that would mean your anchoring point would become accepted as an influencer to the proceeding that follows from there. Anchoring is a powerful tool when it comes to influencing someone’s views. Use it adroitly, and you’ll enhance your negotiation efforts.

 

Storytelling

The stories you tell are another factor that’ll serve as your ally when making comparisons in a negotiation. A well-told story injected into the conversation at the right time, can instantly alter someone’s position and the perspective they have about a situation. To tell a good story, consider the following components.

 

  1. When telling a person how he can acquire a goal that you see as obtainable, the story should have easily recognized components that the person perceives as being real, and not too difficult to achieve. Allow him to see himself bursting with new pride in the imagery of his new acquisition.

 

  1. Paint the mental picture you project with details you gleaned during the listening part of your interaction. Thus, if the person spoke about a dire time when he missed the chance to improve or maintain a situation, due to moving slowly, you might paint the image of someone being overly deliberate and missing an opportunity. Let him draw his conclusion between that situation and the position that he’s currently in.

 

  1. The timing and pace you tell a story will determine its impact. Therefore, to enhance the effect, recite your story’s depiction at a pace that’s easy to follow and consume. While doing so, observe the body language displayed by the person listening to it. In particular, note when they close their eyes, turn or drop their head, or show a momentary frown, as you mention what they may lose if they don’t act fast enough. The body language gestures mentioned will indicate a fear of loss. Cues such as those will announce the impact your story is having on that individual.

 

Reflection

First, realize that during your interactions with other people, you’re negotiating. And in a negotiation, you move someone’s perspective by the comparisons you make and the way you position those comparisons. Therefore, if you wish to win more negotiations when using comparisons, seek to evoke the level of emotions, positive or negative, in which you touch someone’s heart. Following these guidelines will allow you to do just that. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Comparisons #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Best Practices Growth Skills

Podcasts are not only for listening

You may wonder why I include podcasts in a series about the importance of written communication with your clients and customers. People listen to them, right?

They do, but many non-auditory people who would like to enjoy and learn from podcasts—or any form of information transmitted in an audio format—end up feeling frustrated by their inability to absorb and review this information. This occurs because people learn in different ways.

Experts in learning theory have identified several forms of learning. The forms most relevant to the question of podcasts are listening and reading.

Without going into the technical and scientific aspects of how people learn, I’ll say that some people learn more thoroughly when they hear information.

People who are used to obtaining their information through reading may “lose the plot” more readily when they are listening. If they’re used to going back and re-reading what they’ve read, they may get even more lost. If they are really impressed by the material, they may want to print it out and highlight key passages.

The Time Factor

It always takes longer to listen to a podcast than to read a transcript. This isn’t a problem when someone is listening while driving to and from work, for example. It’s an efficient use of time.

However, many people have told me that, if they have a choice between listening to a podcast and reading it, they will always choose the latter. This gives them the additional benefit of skimming through portions that they find irrelevant to their needs and focusing more intensively on those areas that have extra relevance for them.

Always Provide a Transcript

You and the people within your company go to a lot of work to create a podcast. If you’re interviewing someone, you have at least one preliminary conversation to create a focus for the question and answer format. In a non-Q&A format, you must prepare a script or at least an outline.

This means that you want the maximum return on your investment. You don’t want people saying, “Oh, no transcript; I guess I won’t bother.” You also don’t want the further possibility that they will resent that you didn’t consider their specific learning needs. (People are like that; accept it.)

Two Additional Benefits of a Transcript

The first may initially humiliate you. When you read over the transcript, you are going to find out how many times you say “really,” “kind of,” “actually,” and other empty phrases. Trust me on this; I’ve edited many podcast transcripts. One transcript I saw had 80 instances of “you know” In 30 minutes.

The big benefit here is that you can recognize these habits and learn to eliminate these words from your operating vocabulary. Those who listen to your future speeches and oral presentations will be far more appreciative listeners.

The second benefit is that those transcripts can form the basis for a longer work in the form of a bonus pamphlet or a book. I created eight books to date from podcast transcripts. They require substantial editing, but I’ve found this to be an excellent way to repurpose material.

Get the most from your company podcasts by offering transcripts (which also builds your mailing list) and permits you to repurpose your work.

 

Pat hosts Writing to Get Business Podcast, carried by the C Suite Radio Network, the world’s largest business podcast platform. Connect with Pat on patiyer.com.

 

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Avoid These Deadly Negotiation Mistakes” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Do errant actions derive from mistaken thoughts, or does a lack of thought feed thoughtless actions? Think about the way you think.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

 

“How To Avoid These Deadly Negotiation Mistakes”

 

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating!”

 

The plan was to have one team member open the negotiation, and wear down its opposition. At some point, a hand signal would indicate when a different member would assume the leading role. This group of negotiators was going to play a version of good-cop, bad-cop. Because they’d negotiated with their counterparts in the past, and the negotiations had always been contentious. So when they planned the talks, they considered mistakes they might make, and developed alternative actions to control their concessions. They felt very confident as they entered the negotiation.

And then it happened! It occurred at the 37-minute mark in the negotiation. Their lead negotiator made a colossal mistake! He lost his composure, became irate, and missed the hand signal that was supposed to indicate a change in negotiators. Both sets of negotiators engaged in verbal altercations, which almost led to physical clashes.

It’s easy to make mistakes in a negotiation. They can occur for a multitude of reasons. Some stem from misperceived actions. But a lot emanate from what someone did not do. And those can be the trickiest of mistakes to address in a negotiation.

Guard against your negotiation from being knotted-up, by observing the following ‘nots’ – they’re not in any order of priority.


Not Realizing You’re Always Negotiating

Good negotiators know they’re always negotiating. That means they position themselves correctly to be perceived in a particular manner before the official negotiation begins. You’ll lose positioning perception if you don’t realize you’re always negotiating.


Not Planning Sufficiently For Pitfalls And Diversions

You should prepare for a negotiation to the degree you’re committed to its outcome. Thus, by not planning effectively, you’ll expose yourself to the whims of chance and luck. And that’s a recipe for a less-than-stellar result.


Not Checking/Managing Egos

Many negotiations have met their demise due to the egos of the competing negotiators. And, in some cases, the negotiators were on the same team. To safeguard your negotiation, remind everyone to keep their egos in check. And be prepared to bring them back in line before someone’s ego gets out of hand and wreaks havoc on the negotiation.


Not Knowing The Value Proposition

The value proposition a negotiator has is the perspective he brings to the table about the value of what he’s negotiating.

 

  • Not knowing your value – No matter your offerings, you should recognize how the other negotiator perceives value. Because if he’s negotiating with you, there’s a reason he’s doing so, and you should know that reason.

 

  • Not knowing the worth of your offering – Value is worth, and the perception someone assigns to worth is its value. If you don’t understand how valuable your offering is to the opposing negotiator, you could be setting yourself up for a significant loss – you’d do that by leaving more value on the table than you receive. Not only should you know the importance of what you have, but you should also be careful about who sets that value because that’ll determine its worth.

    Not Getting Researched Proof About Assumptions

An assumption is nothing more than a guess. To improve your outcomes, research your ideas. Seek to verify to what degree they’re valid. Doing so will give you leverage to refute some claims and reinforce others.


Not Considering Phases Of The Negotiation

Hopefully, you wouldn’t walk in dangerous environments without protection or support. And yet, by not considering where one phase of the negotiation leads, you could be moving into dangerous territory without protecting yourself. Moving without intent can leave you vulnerable to your negotiation counterpart. Always know the purpose of your actions, and where they may lead, when making offers and concessions during your negotiation.


Not Closing Correctly To Prevent Backdoor Escapes

Depending on its outcome, a negotiator may not like the deal. If so, he may seek ways to improve it later. That’s why you must confirm the covenants of the negotiation at its conclusion. You should also be aware of how the other negotiator appears as he’s responding to his understanding of what he and you will do next. If you sense any apprehension, address it sooner than later.


Not Recognizing Others You’re Negotiating Against

Some negotiators fall prey to the ploy of thinking they have a deal, and later discovering someone else has to make the final approval. At the beginning of your negotiation, verify that the other negotiator has the authority to conclude a deal. And inquire about those that are not at the negotiation table on whose behalf he may be negotiating. Don’t be blindsided by, ‘Oh, I forgot to tell you that I have to get approval from Miss Jones.’


Not Using Leverage Properly

Leverage gives you the ability to exact more influence in a negotiation than the capacity you possess alone. The opportunity to use it always exists. Once you identify it, to give it more potency, apply leverage when it gives you the highest return. To do otherwise is to weaken its value.


Not Projecting The Right Demeanor

When you’re negotiating, you’re role-playing. That means you should cast an effect that affects the behavior best suited for the talks. Doing so correctly enhances your negotiation efforts. To project the correct attitude, don’t under or over position yourself. Thus, the best persona should be one that assists you in reaching the goals you have for the negotiation.


Accepting A Statement/Offer And Not Assessing Its Premise

If I tell you a story, will you believe it? Your answer depends on the narrative, your belief system, and whatever additional information you choose to make your assessment. And that same thought process is what you should undergo before accepting someone’s premise as a truth. By not challenging someone’s statement, you exclude the possibility of other thoughts, offers, or solutions to a problem. Be careful of what you accept as the truth. Everything that glitters is not gold.

 

Reflection

So many mistakes can take a negotiation in the wrong direction. By observing the ‘nots’ mentioned, you can keep your negotiations from knotting up. In so doing, you’ll avoid the traps that ensnare most talks. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Mistakes #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Beware Of The Ultimate Authority You Give To Authority” – Negotiation Insight

“Beware of the person that claims authority. For what they claim is only theirs if you grant it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert    (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

Beware Of The Ultimate Authority You Give To Authority”

 

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating!

 

When does someone have power? Answer – when others relinquish it or have it taken from them.

 

I can’t ask him to increase his rate; he’s a lawyer. The doctor cast a stern look at the nurse, and the nurse sheepishly slinked away. The nurse had a humiliating feeling of belittlement, which led him to think, “I better not question the doctor again. That was very discomforting.”

How many times has someone with authority caused you discomfort? If the event envokes terrible memories, do you still have challenging times when dealing with authority figures? If so, you need to be mindful of how you interact with such people. One way to do that is to realize you have authority too. And there’s power in it.

When dealing with those that have authority, remember the following.

 

Setting The Stage

Every interaction you have with someone assists in creating the environment of your next encounter. And the more interactions you have with people possessing traits of authority, the more you’ll act the same with other individuals with similar characteristics. That’s why you should be cautious about your response to such individuals, especially if you supplicate yourself to them when negotiating.

To break a spiraling downward cycle of self-degrading, when dealing with people of authority, consider:

 

  • not supplicating yourself because of their perceived status

 

  • establish new relationships on mutual respect based on your value

 

  • Re-establish prior relations on the amount of value you’ve added to it; if need be, discuss how you may have received the low end of past deals.

 

  • highlight the benefit of longterm relations based on mutual respect

 

  • talk about the ‘value-add’ you bring to engagements and how that person’s influence will become enhanced by the outcome you assist in achieving

 

Remember, if you think you can’t challenge people with authority, you’re permitting them to continue their behavior. Thus, if you want them to alter their behavior towards you, you have to initiate that change in them. And the way you do that is by standing up for yourself.

 

Know Your Value

Before a negotiation begins, who determines the value of what the negotiation entails? And, what variables do you consider to determine an item’s value?  Do you ponder the authority someone possesses based on their credentials – the status conveyed by the letters behind their name, their degrees? If you give weight to your assessment, based on those variables, you may be needlessly heightening their credibility. Your perspective becomes worse when seeing yourself, as being incapable of refuting such individuals when negotiating.

When speaking with someone about your services or product, as long as they’re talking, they sense value. If you think, because they’re a lawyer, a doctor, or whatever, that you don’t have power in the engagement, you’re giving away power, which is a form of control. And the more control you relinquish, the higher the probability the other person will control you.

Before entering a negotiation, know the value of what you possess. If need be, be prepared to discuss how you arrived at your value proposition. But only do so, when a client or prospect is committed to addressing your value in good faith. That’s to say, don’t answer questions about how you arrived at it until the other person is committed to genuine engagement.

The point is, negotiations are about control. And the person in control is the one asking questions; that’s because receiving information can be more beneficial than giving it, depending on how you use it. Thus, you must be cautious about the information you provide, when you give it, and the timing of its release. If done too hastily, your response might become perceived as being flippant. If done with deliberation, the other person might view that as you not having much thought about it before he asked the question. Always be mindful of the degree of control you have in a negotiation. And that’s displayed through your mannerisms when asking or answering questions, along with the timing of those questions.

 

Positional Power

During a negotiation, power flows back and forth between negotiators. That means you have more power than your counterpart at certain times. It’s during those times when your influence is most substantial that you should press the other negotiator. Those opportunities may occur due to the positional power you have. And that may stem from your leverage during specific periods.

Therefore, assemble points of leverage to use during the negotiation before the talks begin. To do that, gather information about the party with whom you’ll be negotiating from your associates and his. You should look for points of information that will cause the other party angst or relief, depending on what’s called for in a situation.

An example of causing angst with a lawyer who’d reach out to you to solicit your business might be reminding him of the less-than-stellar reputation he has for not paying his invoices on time. After issuing that reminder, pause. Don’t be the first to speak. Let him experience the angst you just placed upon him. If you observe him becoming somewhat deflated, that’ll signal the momentary control he’s given you. And that will also be a point in which you’ll have authority in the negotiation. That’s the time to suggest an up-front payment for him to engage your services, which could be his beginning stage of relief.

 

Reflection

As you engage anyone with whom you initiate business opportunities, be it attorney clients, doctors, or whomever, never give unfounded authority to their status or station simply because of their perceived status. If you do, you’ll place yourself in a weak negotiation position. Always remember that you possess value when negotiating. Instead of supplicating yourself to someone with perceived authority, highlight the value-add you bring to the environment. That will strengthen your position. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Authority #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“This Is Why You Should Be Aware Of Anxiety Signs” – Negotiation Insight

 

“Anxiety can be food for motivation. It can also be the liquor of despair.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

 

 

“This Is Why You Should Be Aware Of Anxiety Signs”

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.”

 

He yelled at the top of his voice, “I’m not going to take this anymore!” To which the other negotiators that were at the table looked in amazement and said, “gosh, all we said was, good morning.” That’s a little tongue-in-cheek. But I point it out to highlight what can occur when anxiety besets you in your negotiation.

Since you’re always negotiating, anxiety affects the interactions you have with other people. And that’s the reason you should be aware of the signs that indicate the rise of uneasiness in you and others. It can create a mindset that undermines the activities you and they engage in, which can lead to diminished outcomes, leading to a state of depression. And you don’t want that to happen to you, do you?

The following are signs that signal anxiety and what you can do to beat-back its attempts to wreak havoc on your opportunities.

 

Anxiety Challenges

Yes, it’s true. Anxiety can fuel your efforts. But too much tension is like being overly caffeinated. It can be the cause of your lack of proper functioning. You may have heard about performance anxiety. It relates to worrying about whether you’ll be able to perform so much that your performance becomes hampered.

Suffice it to say, when you sense the signs of anxiety, initiate controlling factors to reckon with it. That will allow your early warning system to gear up to determine how you’ll respond to what you’re experiencing. It’ll also put you in a heightened state of preparedness to control the direction you’ll take anxiety in, and not the uncontrolled path that it might take you.

 

Mental Anxiety

  • The psychological, mental manipulation that occurs in the mind of someone experiencing anxiety can lead that person to misperceive the intent of other people. And that can lead to a lack of trust, which can lead that individual into believing he doesn’t fit into some environments. That perception can destroy relationships, which might decrease future opportunities.

 

  • Misperception of reality can be a side effect of mental anxiety. That condition can cause the person afflicted by it to imagine an unrealistic perspective of what’s occurring in his environment.

 

  • Stress and mental anxiety are associates that feed one another. That’s to say, fear, a stimulant of anxiety, feeds nervousness. And that fuel feeds stress. Thus, another benefit of controlling anxiety is the benefit that stems from less pressure, less strain, and less tension.

 

Sleep Problems

How do you feel when you’re sleep-deprived, groggy, irritable, short-tempered, tired? Do you consider how that will affect that day’s activities? Sleep deprivation can be the cause of negative thought processes. It can also enhance the degree of angst you experience, which is another reason you must be vigilant of the signs that announce anxiety’s arrival. Thus, forsaking good sleep habits exposes you to more stress, which leads to more anxiety.

 

Concentration Difficulties

“I can’t focus! And that’s bothering me.” Many people have spoken those words. Those that did were expressing their bouts with concentration. I’m sure you’ve made such comments. Because a lack of focus has most likely happened to you more than once in your life. Slow cognitive abilities, due to a lack of concentration, can be a sign that anxiety is belaboring you. It can also be the driver that takes you deeper into a state of fear, dread, and despair.

When you experience a lack of concentration, examine the signs that led to it. Thoughts to consider are, did it occur due to sleep deprivation, an overload of activities, the feeling you don’t measure up in your environment. You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know the source of it. Thus, identifying its source gives you insight into what to address. That alone should begin to decrease your lack of focus because you’ll have the awareness needed to correct the situation.

 

Excessive Worrying

He told his 45-year-old daughter that she should address a different course of action to remain safe. She rebuffed him by stating that she’d exercise caution. But that didn’t decrease the dread he felt for her safety. She attempted to reassure him again with her statement. But it only added to his anxiety because he could not stop the strangling thoughts that stifled his mind. One thing led to another, and father and daughter agreed to decrease the conversations they had with each other. The thought being, if the father didn’t know about his daughter’s activities, he wouldn’t worry about her because he’d be unaware of what she was doing.

Do you find yourself obsessing over aspects of your life, due to events that you can’t control? When do you feel besieged by problems? Do you note when it occurs, versus when it doesn’t? It’s essential to make and be aware of that assessment. Because, as already stated, by identifying when any form of negativity occurs, you have a better chance to address it before it becomes more uncontrollable. Be kind to your mind. Note the signs that indicate excessive worrying. Release the unnecessary pressures that build on you. To lead a more fulfilled life, remove the mental weights that weigh you down.

 

Reflection

When addressing signs of anxiety, first, recognize those signs exist. Then, you can begin to address them. And, to alter your perspective of something you see as overwhelming, consider looking at its less significant parts versus its whole.

Addressing smaller segments of a challenge allows you to see yourself making progress. That should motivate you to tackle the next aspect of it. The implementation of this tactic will lower your anxiety, which should allow you to drive forward faster with a less cluttered mind. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“Do You Know Why Anxiety Signs Signal Direct Danger” – Negotiation Insight

“Anxiety can lead to danger. And like EXIT is within anxiety, exiting anxiety is how to avoid danger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click to get the book!

 

“Do You Know Why Anxiety Signs Signal Direct Danger”

 

No matter your environment, your mental strength, or discipline, pay attention to your anxiety levels – because they can debilitate you! Anxiety can turn a happy person into one haunted by despair.

Make no mistake; anxiety is serious and something of which to be mindful. The following are signs that you should be aware of and why it matters to your wellbeing. Please do not go sheepishly into the night, thinking you’re immune from anxiety. Heed these warnings!

 

Signs of Anxiety

Frequent sighing – Frequently sighing can be the announcer of anxiety’s arrival. When you find yourself committing this act, note it. And identify why it’s occurring.

Feeling besieged – When you feel the walls closing in, that can be the sensation of a smothering environment. It can also be another sign that you’re sensing or experiencing anxiety.

Frequent disputes with others, for whatever reasons, but in particular, because they don’t view things the way you do, can lead to or instigate anxiety. Be aware when you’re in such environments.

Perceived time pressures – When you feel the pressures of addressing activities building on you, realize where such pressures may lead. And understand, by thinking about all of those activities, you’re adding to, not deleting from, your stress quotient.

The anticipation of coming events – Smart people prepare for the future. They do so by engaging in actions today that’ll get them closer to tomorrow’s goals. And sometimes, when smart people think about activities they’ll have to participate in, they become stressed from the anticipation of those events.

When I was a child, my grandmother told me not to borrow trouble. Which meant, prepare for the future, but don’t let thoughts of your inadequacies trouble you in the present time. When you control your mind, you control your thoughts. I never forgot my grandmother’s sage advice. I offer it to you for your guidance.

 

Why It’s Important To Control Anxiety

Anxiety leads to mental anguish, which alters your perspective about people. That can lead to a lack of tolerance for those that you might otherwise admire.

It’s a gateway to depression, which can decrease your mental abilities per how you interpret situations around you and your circumstances.

It decreases your degree of patience with yourself and others.

Mental exhaustion can come from anxiety.

And it can induce an altered perspective of reality, which can deter you from addressing your goals and team activities.

 

Ways To Combat Anxiety

Precursor

Be prepared to confront anxiety by thinking how you’ll offset it when it occurs. Which means you must identify it the moment it happens. Then note where it’s leading you. To do that, observe your emotional and physical feelings. You may experience a sense of quickened emotions, due to the perception of activities colliding that need your attention. You may even note your anxiety in your pace of speech, stammering, or in the way you’re breathing. All are signs to observe because they’re signals that you’re walking into a darkened state indicating the possibility of mental debilitation.

 

Control

To combat anxiety, think about what you can control. If aspects creating the stress stems from activities you can’t control, accept that fact, if only for the moment. Do other things to take your mind off what’s creating anxiety – play games – watch a movie – meditate – do something to relieve the pressure that’s building inside of you. The point is, don’t allow stress to enter your domain because you’re concerned about activities you can’t control.

 

Sources of Input

Be aware of the source of your information and the credibility you lend to it. Some people view sources as being highly valid, while others may see them as peddling fake news. Thus, if surrounding individuals hold contrary opinions to yours, your interactions with them may lead to heighten differences of beliefs. And that can serve as a point of escalation that leads to more anxiety within you. Therefore, to better control yourself, control the environment you’re in, and what you allow that environment to implant in your mind.

 

Think Through It

Think about the lessons you’ll learn and how those insights will be beneficial to you in the future. Imagine being on the other side of what’s causing your anxiety. It can be challenging to imagine happy times when you’re in the throes of despair. But like the current situation that may be causing you angst, this too will pass.

 

Have Fun

When you’re in a state of stress, thinking about having fun can be the furthest thought in your mind. But that’s what you should consider doing. Having fun, laughing, thinking positive thoughts, will lift the angst of anxiety off you. Even if it only does so for the moments you’re engaged in those happy activities, the bombardment occurring against your mind will decrease. And that will allow you a respite from the anxiety that’s bombarding you.

Reflection

Sometimes uncertainty spreads faster than reality, which can increase your degree of stress that leads to danger. Whether you’re in a negotiation or thinking about one, anxiety will hurt you mentally by overburdening your mind. And that additional tax can lead to more stress, which will cause you not to think clearly. And doing that could lead to disastrous results, no matter what activity you’re engaging.

Thus, always strive to reduce anxiety as soon as you recognize its signs. Doing so will allow you to avoid danger. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Negotiator – Do Not Be Fooled By These Amazing Mind Games” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Mind games can lead you astray if you don’t control the games your mind plays.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book! 

Negotiator – Do Not Be Fooled By These Amazing Mind Games”

 

When do you fall prey to a negotiator’s mind game? An associate wanted to invest in computer software that would enhance his small business operation. He did his research and found a service to purchase. When he saw the offer, it said, “save $30 off of the yearly subscription.” The price was $159. He got busy and forgot to make the purchase. When he went back the following week, the cost was $189. And it had a red slash through a price indicating, “normally $229.”

What happened? A mind game, known as negotiation jujitsu, had just been perpetrated on the associate. It’s a maneuver a negotiator uses to alter the perceived value of an item to increase your desire to have it.

Some people are motivated by gain. But more people are driven by the fear of losing something. So, when a negotiator attempts to use one of the following tactics against you, understand what he’s doing. And don’t be fooled by the mind games he employs to manipulate your mind.

 

Authority Figure

If a negotiator knows you follow a particular authority figure, he may attempt to sway your perspective by invoking that figure. The effort might go something like, “you know that Mr. X uses this product, right? So, if it’s good enough for him, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s right for you, right?”

While he may place his suggestions in the form of questions, he may also state them as facts, depending on which way he believes you’ll become swayed the most. The point is, you must prepare yourself for either. By doing so, you’ll insulate yourself better to combat this ploy.

 

Vanity

“Oh, my goodness! You look great in that. I can see heads turning to look at you. You’ll be the envy of your peers!” This ploy attempts to stoke your vanity. And, it’s usually successful when employed against someone seeking to have his ego stroked.

Everyone likes to receive compliments. What you must weigh is the sincerity of the praise. Since there’s no inherent cash value applied to vanity, only allow it to factor into your decision proposition when it adds value to the outcome. Otherwise, keep it in check when making your decisions.

 

Simple Mind Games

Scarcity – only a few left – someone just ordered the last one, but since you’re here, you can have it.

 

Last One – we just sold the last one – wait a minute, let me check in the back – I remember seeing one some time ago – hopefully it’s still there.

 

Ending Soon – The sale will end soon – if I were you, I’d get it now and take advantage of the lower price.

The examples just mentioned are the simplest of mind games intended to make you take quick action. And yet, they can be very effective against those that are not savvy about such tactics. Even more insidious is the close tie that scarcity has with the ‘last one’ ploy of an item. When someone attempts to use such tricks against you, disconnect your heart from your decision, and instead, use your head. And don’t allow yourself to be moved to action if it’s not right for you.

 

Timing of Offers

Offers have more potency depending on the occurrences surrounding them. Thus, you should always consider the timing of a negotiator’s offer. Because, in some cases, the timing factor can appear enhanced for bogus reasons.

As an example, if a seller of real estate indicated that he had to liquidate a property, due to financial hardships, potential buyers might assemble thinking they were in for a bargain. In this case, the reasoning tied to the timing of the offer is the seller’s financial hardship. Then, when the buyers begin competing against one another, for what may have been a bargain, some might get caught up in the process. And that might be the catalyst that causes them to exceed the cost of what they initially envisioned as a fantastic opportunity.

When contemplating the timing of an offer, consider the reason given for it, and the possible frenzy that it might create. While the timing of some proposals may be valid, per a negotiator’s claims, it’s also a tactic that savvy negotiators use for manipulation. By being observant of the possible intent of an offer’s timing, you can subvert the possibility of it manipulating you. And that will place you in a better position from which to negotiate, or not.

 

Negotiating Against Yourself

The seller said, “if that’s your best offer, I’ll consider it. But other offers will probably be better.” Okay, I’ll increase my offer, was the buyer’s response. Several things occurred in this exchange.

Number one, the buyer was negotiating against himself. That means he didn’t ask about the other offers before he increased his. Never increase an offer without really knowing who’s opposing you. And identify why you should raise it, if at all, based on what others are doing.

That leads to point number two. The seller said, “other offers will ‘probably’ be better.” The emphasis being ‘probably.’

When someone makes an assertion placed in the form of a probability, pause – always listen intently to the words one uses when they make an offer. In this case, the seller was implying that an occurrence might ensue, but what he was also relating was that it might not happen.

When you hear language that’s not absolute, question the probability of its occurrence. Also, inquire about the likelihood that others will make a higher offer, the timeframe in which they might do so, and why they might do so. Plus, ask about the probability of the other negotiator accepting your offer if you increase it.

Always make the other negotiator work for what he receives. He’ll have greater respect for you and your abilities when he senses he’s earned what he obtained. One way to do that is through the questions you ask. That will also inform him that you’re not someone that can be moved mindlessly towards a direction that suits his needs.

 

Reflection

The best defense against someone’s attempts to use mind games against you is to understand their intent. Since good negotiators involve your emotions in a negotiation psychologically, you must be prepared to protect your feelings. Because, if you allow your emotional mind to control your actions instead of your head, you may lose the negotiation. But if you use your head to control your emotions, you’ll come out ahead. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“There Is Powerful Value In Asking For More Right” – Negotiation Insight

“The probability of getting what you want lies in the way, when, and how you ask for it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click to get the book!

 

“There Is Powerful Value In Asking For More Right”

 

No matter what you ask for, there’s value in asking for it the right way.

 

The buyer asked the seller to lower his price. The seller’s response was, “wait a minute. If I lower my price, I want to make sure it will still cover my cost.” Then he said, “okay – I’ll lower it.”

In that split second, two things occurred. One, the seller lowered his price. And two, the seller had given valuable information about the margin on the product he was selling. The buyer thought, “that margin information has value.” I’ll use it in our next negotiation. And, the buyer enhanced the probability of getting the seller to lower his price by doing several things right. Those factors are tools that good negotiators consider and use in every exchange they encounter. Continue, and you’ll discover what they are.

 

Timing of Request

The timing of your request adds or detracts from the probability of your receiving it. Therefore, consider the following factors before making your request:

Setup – Sometimes, you can enhance a request by doing it in stages. As an example, if you wanted something that you thought had a low probability of being granted, you might ask for something less to build up to your ultimate request. Some negotiators call this the salami technique. You get a little of what you want now and more over time.

State of mind – When making a request, another point to consider is someone’s state of mind. When a person is happy, their demeanor is more amenable, compared to when they’re in a dour state of mind. And depending on what you’re requesting, someone’s grim state of mind might be the right mindset for you to make your request (e.g., when your appeal puts them back into a happier state).

External demands or pressures – Aligned with state of mind is the external influences applied to your subject. Claims that don’t stem from you could offer the leverage needed to give your request more perceived value. Never overlook the external pressures that might be bearing on your subject. They might be the assistance you need to have your request fortified.

Seller/Buyer goals – The tie the bonds the Timing of Request is the seller/buyer’s goals. Without a need, the probability of having your request granted decreases substantially. Therefore, before making a request, understand how it will add value to the goals of that person. If you don’t consider that, you’ll miss a vital aspect of your value proposition.

 

Words/Tonality/Pace

The words used to make requests impact the outcome of that request. Some of the factors to consider are:

  1. Reciting the same words used by your target – Psychologically, parroting someone’s words triggers a subliminal attraction to your request. That’s because, when you use the same words that someone uses, the words sound familiar to them. And of course, they will, because they’re that person’s words. Thus, the person will have a built-in infinity for those words. And that’s what will make someone more susceptible to granting your request.

 

  1. Tonality – Have you ever disliked someone due to the tone they used? Tonality ties critically into word choice. That means you can parrot someone, but if your speech is misaligned, you’ll decrease the chances of having your request granted. To add value to your request, mimic the other person’s sounds.

 

  1. The pace of speech – Another factor to consider when making a request right is your pace of speech. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “that person sounded like a used car salesperson.” And that’s not to demean people in that discipline. It’s to point out that speech pace conveys a sensory perception. Thus, if you talk too fast, some people will inherently distrust you. If you speak too slowly or softly, they may think you’re slow-witted. Use their speech patterns as the guide to how you should talk.

 

Leverage

Remember, when I did you a favor? The invoking of that memory is one form of an attempt to use leverage. And there’s substantial value in it.

I talk about leverage a lot in my seminars and presentations. The reason being, it’s a factor that can give a weaker positioned negotiator more power in a negotiation. And while leverage may not be readily apparent, if you’re able to uncover it, you’ll have a vital aide to assist your cause.

To use leverage when asking for an increase or decrease in an offer, depending on your negotiation position, consider the timing of your request, the needs of the other negotiator, and any time factor they may restrict the other’s ability to acquire the outcome they seek. Using leverage with those factors will strengthen your negotiation position.

 

Value of Information

People don’t realize the value of information. Thus, they freely give it away when they speak. Worse, they give away the right information at the wrong time. And sometimes someone uses that information against them.

The seller that made the earlier statement unknowingly disclosed his margins, which was valuable information for the buyer. The seller could have used that information as leverage by citing it strategically when it served his purpose. As an example, if the seller said to the buyer, “I can’t lower my price – that won’t cover my cost.” He would still be giving insight into his margin, but this time, he’d be using it to justify why he could not meet the buyer’s request.

Always be mindful of the information you give and how you dispense it. There’s value in intelligence. And the way and time that you provide information to others determine how they might use it and the chances you’ll encounter in having your requests accepted.

 

Reflection

Remember, you have the initial advantage in making requests. And that adds value to your ability to make appeals right. Because you’ve had the time to formulate your thoughts – that’s not true for the other person.

Thus, if someone doesn’t go into thought mode, or ask if they can get back to you later, they’re negotiating at the moment. That means the other person will have foregone thoughts about the strategies they’ll use. That’ll put you in a more prominent position while enhancing the chances of you obtaining what you want. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Negotiator – How To Avoid Catastrophe From The ‘F’ Bomb” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Certain ‘F’ words are more potent than others. Know the ones that move you the most.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)       Click to get the book!

 

“Negotiator – How To Avoid Catastrophe From The ‘F’ Bomb”

 

… and there it was. She dropped it like a missile, falling silently from the sky. She’d done it so stealthfully that her act caught him by surprise and completely off guard. Thus, he didn’t have an immediate comeback. Worse, he fumbled in his mind for a retort and found nothing there. The ‘F’ bomb had just hit him. And it created a mini catastrophe.

As a negotiator, how many times has someone dropped an ‘F’ bomb on you? Were you staggered by its occurrence? There are many types of ‘F’ bombs that a negotiator can employ during a negotiation. And they may not be what you’re thinking.

Continue, and you’ll discover why some ‘F’ words are more potent than others, and how they affect you in a negotiation.

 

Fair

“I want you to be happy with this negotiation. So, I’m going to be fair to you. Will you be fair to me?” The responder said, “I always strive to be fair in my negotiations!” Note that there was a response, but not necessarily to the question asked. The responder knew, the perception of being fair was open to interpretation, which could prove to be a trap in a negotiation.

What’s your perspective about being fair? That’s a question to ponder as a negotiator. The reason being, your view of what’s fair will more than likely differ from your negotiation counterpart. Even when there’s a slight perceptional difference, it can have a significant impact on the interaction that occurs during the negotiation. And that impacts the direction of the talks, which influences the next engagement you have with that person. That’s yet another reason I say, “you’re always negotiating.”

Suffice it to say, the word fair has a significant impact on how parties engage with one another, and eventually, it impacts the outcome of a negotiation.

 

Friend

Let’s be friends. This ‘F’ word conjures up congeniality, non-threatening interactions, etc. For the unsuspecting negotiator, it can be the wolf in sheep’s clothing that takes you to slaughter.

It can be challenging to negotiate with friends. That’s due to the mitigating circumstances of friendships. Thus, want or need to maintain a good relationship could supplant your self-desire for the best outcome. And that could lead you to make more concessions. That’s why you should be on guard when negotiating with friends or those that profess to be your friend. To avoid a catastrophe, set the ground rules ahead of time, so you and your friends are not offended by the negotiation outcome.

 

Feign

“Oh, how dare you make such a ridiculously low offer. I’m offended! Others said you are a fair negotiator, someone that would not try to take advantage of me.”

What just happened? The opposing negotiator may have been feigning bruised feelings due to a counter-proposal or offer you made. What he’s attempting is to get you to behave in a manner that suits his goals for the negotiation.

When you’re in that situation, retort, you’re trying to maximize the outcome just like he’s doing. And then ask what offer he thinks would be good. After he responds, flip the offer, and ask if he’d take it. If he says yes and it’s to your advantage, accept it.

 

Fight

Another ‘F’ bomb to be very vigilant of is the word fight. The other negotiator may present it as “there’s no need for us to fight.” The term itself could evoke bad memories from past battles in you. And that may subconsciously cause you to lower your negotiation guard, due to previous skirmishes you’ve had.

Words have power, and certain words convey more power based on how, when, and with whom they’re used. Keep your wits about you and don’t fall prey when someone suggests you not fight. If you lower your guard, you may be setting yourself up for the negotiation equivalent of a sucker-punch.

 

The Big ‘F’ Bomb

When someone uses this ‘F’ four-letter profanity word, they’re displaying a lack of respect, intimidation, or rudeness. Whichever category they’re in, they’re attempting to alter your perspective by jolting you. They might be trying to shake you out of your state of serenity just enough to make you bend to their will.

If you feel threatened or intimidated, let the other negotiator know, you won’t negotiate under those circumstances. You must be prepared to put an immediate halt to such actions, to regain control of the negotiation, less you give them more life. If you provide the behavior more substance, you’ll only sink deeper into the quicksand of despair, which will be the doorway leading to a catastrophe.

 

Fear

As much as the big ‘F’ bomb might alter your thought process, there’s another ‘F’ bomb that you should be aware of, and that’s fear. Fear can debilitate you, emotionally, mentally, and physically. That’s why it can wreak havoc on your mind, spirit, and soul. It can be daunting to control the perception of fear. But it doesn’t have to leave you in an uncontrollable position.

When you sense fear during a negotiation, assess its source. Attempt to rationally understand what you’re sensing and why you’re experiencing the emotions you have at that point. Question if it was something you saw, heard, or felt. The purpose of identifying the source is to understand the origin of the fear you’re sensing. Once you can identify that, you have a better chance to understand what’s occurring within you. If necessary, call a time-out and back away from the negotiation table. Doing so will allow you to clear your head. It will also let you see what your opponent will do next.

 

Reflection

As a negotiator, I’m sure you’re aware that many distractions can lead to an unsuccessful negotiation outcome. And the use of ‘F’ bombs is but a few of the things that can lead to a catastrophe. To decrease the probability of having your negotiation train-wrecked, observe when and how the opposing negotiator drops the ‘F’ bomb on you. It can be applied haphazardly, or with the intent to cause you mental anguish. Regardless, if you adopt a position to defend yourself, you’ll be positioned better to control the negotiation. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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