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What Causes Fear in You?

“If you don’t know what to be fearful of, you’ll be susceptible to fearing anything.”  -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you truly aware of why you deal with fear the way you do, the source of your fear(s), and the impact it has on your psyche? Fear can paralyze you if it’s not controlled. Do you control your fears?

… ‘This is really messed up. I’m really afraid!’ Those were the words that a friend stated to me. He was speaking of a situation that had instilled fear in him. When I probed to understand why he was fearful, he said he wasn’t sure, but, he had a gut feeling to be cautious.

Fear ignites a sense to protect yourself. It may do so to prevent what’s perceived as being harmful. It may also do so to keep you within the boundaries that you deem to be mentally safe; just an FYI, preventing what’s perceived as being harmful and keeping you within the boundaries that you deem to be mentally safe are two separate thoughts. They stem from two different sources of motivation. I point that out as something to be cognizant of (i.e. what really causes fear to become born within you and then what causes the flame of angst to burn brighter).

We come into the world with only two fears. They are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. The rest of what we learn of fear becomes a part of us that we obtain as we go through life.

It’s important to know what you fear because without knowing, you don’t know what to combat. Without knowing, you don’t know why you’re fearful. Without knowing, you don’t know if what you fear is real.

As you go throughout your daily activities, pay more attention to what at first appears to be angst, anxiety, an uncomfortable feeling, or whatever label you assign to the beginning of uneasiness. That will be the conscious point that fear begins to grip you. If you note when fear begins to grip you, you’ll have a greater chance of defeating it, before it has a greater chance of defeating you.

Here’s the point. Once you consciously recognize that fear has a hold on you, it’s already elevated from your subconsciousness to your consciousness. That means it was already living in your psyche like a virus waiting to potentially harm you. The sooner you recognize it, the sooner you can deal with it. The sooner you deal with it, the less severe it will be. The less severe it is, the better you’ll be able to control what occurs in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, fear is always at the heart of broken deals, impasses, and the impediment to a successful negotiation outcome. Sometimes, you’re right to be fearful. If that’s the case, you need to identify the source of those feelings. Even if it’s imaginary, there’s a problem because of the way you’re thinking.

In a negotiation, once you become fearful, take note and assess to what degree it will impede the negotiation. Based on its severity address it then, or put it to the side to possibly be addressed later. Don’t ignore it until and unless your sense the fear has abated.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception #fear

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Accounting Best Practices Body Language Economics Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Women In Business

Do You Know the Hidden Secrets of Good Negotiators?

“Good negotiators know negotiation secrets that allow them to be good. To become better when negotiating, learn the secrets that good negotiators know” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Good negotiators know a wide range of hidden negotiation secrets, when to use them, and which ones to use in their repertoire of secrets when negotiating. That’s one of the things that distinguishes good negotiators from not so good negotiators.

So, what are some of the hidden secrets that good negotiators use? The following are a few of those hidden secrets. Using them will give you an advantage in your negotiations.

Reading Body Language:

Being adept, when it comes to accurately reading the other negotiator’s body language, will give you insight into his train of thought, and an edge in the negotiation. As one example, if face-to-face, note the consistency with which his eyes move when assessing information to questions you pose. If you pose questions that he should have to call on by referencing past occurrences, note the direction he looks in to obtain that information. When that pattern breaks, note it, along with the question that caused it to occur. They’ll be insightful information that you can use in that action.

Know What’s Really Important:

If you’re attempting to successfully entice a venture capitalist to invest in your business, you should know the main question she has about the potential investment is, will I make a decent return on my money and how long might it take to do so? The question is important to keep in mind because it’ll be the answer to that question that will determine what motivates her and what it will take to keep her engaged with you.

Throughout any negotiation, know the main points that will keep a negotiator engaged and determine how you’re going to use that information throughout the negotiation.

Emotions/Hot-buttons:

Always attempt to control emotions when negotiating. Emotions add an extra dimension to what is said.

In controlling emotions, you should know the hot-buttons that will push you and the other negotiator from one point to another, per the state of mind you or he will possess once in that state; you should already be well aware of your own hot-buttons.

To gain insight into the other negotiator’s hot-buttons, gather information beforehand about what ticks him off, and what makes him experience bliss. Then, during the negotiation, take note of his reactions when you push his buttons. If he doesn’t react the way you know he’s reacted in the past, you’ll gain insight into what he may be attempting to keep disclosed. If that’s the case, pick at that thing like a bad itch that begs to be scratched.

Good Listening Skills:

Good listening skills encompass not just listening to what’s said, but also listening for what’s omitted, the word choice used, and the way such words are conveyed; we’ve all heard a statement that sounded like a question. Unless you intentionally mean to pose a statement as a question, don’t do it. Also, note when the other negotiator sends hidden meanings inside of his verbal messages; it may mean he’s unsure of what he’s saying, or that he wants you to believe he’s unsure. Probing will uncover his intent.

When momentum is on your side, accelerate the negotiation. When you’re on the defense, slow the negotiation down. It’s the little strategies that you utilize in a negotiation that will pay the biggest dividends. Thus, when negotiating, don’t take small things for granted. It’s the implementation of small things, such as what’s mentioned above, that will allow you to accomplish bigger outcomes in your negotiation. Master those things … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #HiddenSecrets

#psychology

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Accounting Best Practices Body Language Economics Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations News and Politics Skills Women In Business

Perception – Does Being Right or Wrong Matter?

“Constantly test your beliefs. They serve as the foundation from which you view the world, those in it, and how others in turn view you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Too many times, people get hung-up on who’s right and who’s wrong. In reality that’s not what they’re really interested in. They’re more concerned with getting others to follow their lead. Being cognizant of that should allow you to focus more on the outcome you seek in a situation and less on how being perceived as right or wrong will make you feel. If you do identify your feelings as the source that motivates you to adopt one action over another, examine your thoughts to assess why that’s so; it could mean that you’re less interested in the outcome versus the way you feel about the outcome. If that turns out to be the case, you have a completely different ‘kettle of fish’ to deal with, one that’s in addition to the perception of right or wrong.

Once you can boil right or wrong down to its most simplistic form and still get others to follow you, right or wrong becomes immaterial. Recognize that you really don’t want to be viewed as being right or wrong, what you’re really after is to have others agree with your beliefs.

Going forward, when you’re engaged in dialog with others ask yourself, “Am I placing too much emphasis on being right or wrong?” Understand the source of motivation behind your actions to convince others that you’re right. That will be the real key to the impact you have on them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Every negotiator enters into a negotiation believing that her point of view should be accepted by the other negotiator; from her perspective, her point of view is right. If too much emphasis is placed on being right, she may overlook other opportunities to sway her counterpart to the real objective of the negotiation, which is to receive a favorable outcome for her.

Before you can shape someone’s perception, first you have to shape your own. You should have a firm understanding of how you arrived at your perspectives, the value they contain as viewed by others, to what degree they may contain unsubstantiated biases, and how you’ll position them to be viewed as most advantageous by the other negotiator. Once you’ve gathered those aspects, you’ll realize that it’s perception that matters, not who’s right or wrong. That will add a new dimension to your negotiation efforts.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception

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Accounting Body Language Economics Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Skills Taxes Women In Business

How to Overcome Lost Trust When Negotiating

“One way to overcome the loss of trust when negotiating is not to lose it in the first place.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Trust is the hidden variable when negotiating that possesses silent power in the negotiation. Once trust is lost, a negotiation takes on a persona from which it may never recover. Thus, depending on the severity of lost trust, it may be the death knell of the negotiation.

There are multiple factors that play a role in regaining trust when it’s lost. The implementation of those factors are directly tied to how you wish to proceed from the point of disruption, the outcome you seek from the negotiation, time factors related to future events, and any mitigating circumstances that may cause you to engage/disengage in/from the negotiation.

This article will give you insights as to how you can overcome the loss of trust when you negotiate and turn your efforts into winning actions.

Point of Disruption:

Be observant as to how trust is being evaluated during the negotiation. Such signs will be conveyed through the possible reluctance to believe, follow, or acquiesce to a request and/or concession. Once you sense such hesitancy, address it right then. Don’t let a possible festering thought about trust linger. If you do, you may be setting up the rest of the negotiation to be addressed from a deeper entrenched position on both sides.

Outcome Sought:

Be crystal clear about the outcomes sought by you and the other negotiator. To the degree you have commitments, shine a bright metaphoric light on those agreements and make those commitments known to stakeholders with lots of fanfare. As an aside, be mindful of whom you show the commitments so that they don’t tear them down. In a best-case scenario, you tie/lock the other negotiator to the commitments he states he’ll abide by. Also, limit finger pointing, gloating, and be aware of your verbiage when highlighting agreed on commitments. The wrong word(s), gloating, and/or finger pointing can easily lead to the unraveling of a commitment. To ensure that commitments will be adhered to, discuss with the other negotiator how they will be conveyed when presented to the outside world.

Time Factors and Future Events:

You should always consider the time factor and how today’s negotiation will impact future events. To that end, to restore lost trust:

  1. Sign-off on agreements at specific points in the negotiation and wait to see if deliverables are made
  2. Know hidden power players and their possible reaction(s) about the direction of the negotiation
  3. Have contingency plans in place to persuade power players to positions that are advantageous to you

Mitigating Circumstances:

There are mitigating circumstances that can encompass any negotiation. Such can be caused by the misperception of a word, a misperceived gesture, or just a dislike amongst the negotiators. If you’re aware of any mitigating circumstances that may cause the negotiation to be headed to the negotiation graveyard, consider changing negotiators. New negotiators can see the negotiation through new eyes.

A loss of trust can be a silent death knell in a negotiation but that doesn’t have to be so. The best way to offset its occurrence is to be as forthright as possible as you engage in a negotiation. Of course, that forth righteousness is a two-way street that the other negotiator must also be willing to traverse. Use the suggestions above to offer him the opportunity to do so … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Trust  #psychology

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Growth Negotiations Skills

What is Coaching and Why It Matters to the C-Suite

I recently had lunch with a colleague I worked with 10 years ago at a major Fortune 100 corporation. After exchanging pleasantries, my colleague quickly got to the point of the lunch meeting. I thought we were having a lunch to catch up after many years. We did catch up. However, my colleague revealed that with the new job that brought he and his wife to Houston came new challenges that revealed gaps in his ability to be an effective leader. He said his wife suggested he get the help of an executive coach so he reached out to me.

With that explanation, I posed the question to my colleague I pose to anyone seeking my help: “What is coaching?” I ask that question to understand what my potential client’s experience with coaching is and what their frame of reference will be as we enter a coaching relationship. My colleague reluctantly admitted he really did not know what coaching is in practice. In this article, I will explain the answer I gave my colleague about what coaching is and why it matters to the C-Suite executive.

What Coaching Is Not

Before I explain what coaching is, I would like to explain what coaching is not. The word coach, for many people, conjures up images of sports. From their youth, many people have played sports or attended sporting events at school. Many remember all too well the image of a shouting coach trying to motivate players or persuade an official to make calls favorable for their team.

For others, the word coach has a different connotation. Some think of a minister, a therapist, or a senior business leader. There are others who may think of a consultant as they conflate coaching with consulting. For many years, for example, I ran an independent computer consulting practice where I was paid for my expertise in providing the right answers and solutions for my clients. Coaching, however, is very different. As a certified coach, I am not paid to provide answers or solutions for my clients. This is different from sports coaching or consulting where the coach or consultant has more experience and expertise and they are paid to transfer this to the client. In fact, when taking the practical portion of the coaching certification exam, a coach who gives answers to a client fails the exam. As a certified coach, as the old saying goes, my job is to “teach clients how to fish rather than give them a fish.” During the certification process, the trainer would often tell us “the coach owns the process, the client owns the content.” Put another way, “coaching is a PROCESS expertise, not a CONTENT expertise” said Master Certified Coach and best selling author, Laura Berman Fortgang in a workshop I attended.

What Is Coaching

So, what is coaching? In his New York Times best-selling book: “You Already Know How to Be Great,” Alan Fine defines coaching very simply as “helping others improve their performance.” The International Coach Federation, the most recognized certification body in the coaching industry, defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thoughtprovoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Early in my corporate career, during my time providing IT support for the financial services arm of General Electric, years before I envisioned myself as a professional coach, I remember the first time I heard the term coaching used in a professional setting. In those days, a coach was only hired as a last resort for someone who was not performing well. It was a secret whispered in the halls of the office. Hence, receiving coaching was considered an act of shame.

Years ago, when I first began working as an IT professional. We used to joke that anyone could call himself or herself an IT professional. All you had to do is show up and say: “I know how to fix computers!” and you were hired. Then the industry realized experience was not enough. There was a need for formal measurement of qualifications through certification. Now most IT professionals hold some sort of certification to validate their competency.

The same was true for many years in the coaching profession. Anyone who worked in human resources or as a business leader could call themselves a coach. As I experienced in the IT world, that led to various degrees of quality.

Today, things are very different. Organizations such as the International Coach Federation, the International Coaching Community and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council have raised the bar of the coaching profession by creating global ethics, standards and certification assessments. As a result, the global awareness of the power of coaching has increased. Effective coaching is recognized as an art and a science. Coaching is now considered a badge of honor! People are proud to say they have a coach! That means their company values them and wants to invest in their development because they view them as part of the company’s strategic plans and ultimate success.

Why Coaching Matters to the C-Suite

Top professional athletes such as Roger Federer, Serena Williams and Rory McIlroy recognize the need for a coach to stay on top of their game and maintain their edge throughout various stages of their career. “Corporate athletes” also need coaches. Consequently, many senior business leaders including those in the C-Suite now use a professional coach to help maintain their competitive edge.

For the C-Suite executive, engaging a professional coach facilitates continued investment in themselves by having the learning or the university brought to them in the comfort of their location or through technology. Having a coach also provides the C-Suite executive a sounding board, a confidant and an advisor to deal with the demands of their role.

Certified professional coaches specialize in life, career, business and executive coaching. Professional coaching is different than giving instruction, advice or sharing expert insights. Professional coaching is a very rewarding process that transforms individuals and organizations by helping them unlock their own rich potential, create new options and value leading to improved performance and satisfaction.

Eddie Turner is a C-Suite Advisor ™ and a change agent who has worked for several of the world’s “most admired companies.” He is an international speaker who is certified as an executive coach and facilitator. Eddie is a global workshop and program facilitator for the Association for Talent Development and for Harvard Business School Publishing. He has studied at Harvard and Northwestern Universities. Eddie “works with leaders to accelerate performance and drive business impact!”™ Contact Eddie at (312) 287-9800 or eddie@eddieturnerllc.com