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Category: Women In Business

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

The Value of Vulnerability

The Value of Vulnerability

So often when the topic is leadership, qualities like gravitas, confidence and strength are extolled as desirable and even essential. But just as important are some qualities at the other end of the spectrum. Today I’m specifically referring to vulnerability.

We’re all aware of the importance – and sometimes difficulty – of being vulnerable in our personal relationships. Without it, love and intimacy are impossible. But a certain degree of vulnerability is equally as important for development of our professional relationships as well.

I worked with a client who was told by her supervisor that she needed to let people get to know her better; that as head of the department (for quite a while already), it would help overall team chemistry and trust. For someone who was working to overcome perfectionism and fear of making any sort of public mistake, this was daunting.

“How can I open up to them? I don’t know if I can trust them to see that side of me,” she said.

I replied, “My guess is that they probably feel the same about you. But here’s the thing: When you have two people who need to feel like they receive trust (or respect) before they’re willing to give it, there’s a stalemate. Eventually, someone has to ‘blink’ first, take the chance and give the other person the opportunity to demonstrate that they are trustworthy. That starts the cycle.”

But one way or another, the beauty is that you don’t have to trust them with your deepest darkest secrets or the key to the vault. Sometimes it’s just being able to laugh at yourself, or letting them know that you’re under the weather and could use their help that day.

Last week I got a frantic email from a client asking to have a strategy call the next morning before a high-stakes meeting that had just been organized. Understanding her situation and wanting to accommodate, I told her the truth: “Tomorrow morning the only slot that’s open is 9am, but in full transparency, I’m going to be in ‘mommy mode’ at that time, since I have to take my son” (who is 1 year old) “for a checkup at 10, so the nanny won’t arrive until 11. I can’t guarantee what mood he’ll be in or how long we can speak without interruption, but if you want to give it a try, I’m game.”

“I’ll take it,” she said.

So at 9am the call comes in – we coach via FaceTime, video included – and I answer, in a t-shirt with my hair pulled back, hoping she wouldn’t be daunted by my less-than-executive appearance. “I think we’re safe – he’s in his highchair and I’m feeding him breakfast, so he’s busy and happy for a while,” I told her.

My trust in letting my client see me this way was immediately rewarded.

“Oh, is he there? Can you turn the camera? I’d love to see him.”

I turned the camera so my client was face-to-face with the big blue eyes of my son, who stared back at her, mesmerized by the face on the screen. And then this high-powered CFO of a multi-billion-dollar company did the best thing possible: she launched straight into full-scale “peek-a-boo” mode.

My son burst into giggles immediately, and after a moment or two I turned the phone back to me. She had a huge smile on her face, and said, “That was the perfect antidote to the morning I’ve already had, thank you!”

From there we shifted gears and got down to business. We had each let down our guard with and I am confident that we both feel that the mutually shared vulnerability only served to strengthen our bond, both personally and professionally.

So once in a while, take a little chance: (metaphorically) play a bit of “peek-a-boo,” and let them see you.

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Do you have other questions or feedback about vulnerability and leadership? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Know When to STOP Talking

Know When to STOP Talking

Usually I work with people to find the best way for them to talk to their audience and get to “Yes.” Today I want to focus on the exact opposite skill set: knowing when and how to stop talking.

If you’re like me, at some point or other you’ve had the “out-of-body experience” where you catch yourself rambling on, and your brain starts screaming, “for heaven’s sake, just stop talking already!” But you’re on a roll and can’t seem to stop the momentum.

Part of the reason this happens is because Americans are notoriously uncomfortable with silence, which quickly slides becomes “awkward silence,” is something to be avoided. That’s why there’s often a compulsion to fill silence at all costs.

In most of these occurrences, self-doubt is a major factor. Even if you were confident up to that point, something triggers a sudden insecurity, which you telegraph through your rambling.

With that in mind, let’s look at three contexts in which this situation is likely to emerge, why, and how to get yourself back under control.

Waiting for a response

The most common scenario is when you’ve asked a question or made a comment, and the other person doesn’t respond right away. You subconsciously fear that they didn’t understand what you’ve said, or didn’t like it and don’t want to answer it. So you rephrase, or qualify, or suggest possible answers to your own question, until someone finally jumps in.

In reality, sometimes people just need a moment to digest what you’ve said, especially if it is technical or an important decision. Be generous in allowing them time to think, uninterrupted, before they respond.

Over-explaining

The second context is when you think you need to keep explaining something. Maybe your topic is complicated and you are speaking to non-experts or you might be speaking to people who are experts, which can be intimidating, so you feel compelled to share more to demonstrate your expertise. Or you might interpret their silence as disapproval, at which point you keep talking in attempt to qualify or justify your argument and persuade them to agree with you.

Ironically, however, in these situations, the more you ramble, the more it will likely dissuade your audience because you sound nervous rather than confident. In these cases, make your point, then just hold your ground – and your tongue. This indicates that you’re okay with waiting for them to break the silence. If necessary, you can always ask them if they are confused by something, or would like clarification. Knowing when to stop demonstrates confidence.

Scrambling for answers

Finally, rambling often occurs when you need to answer a question or offer a response, and don’t feel like you have time to think it through before you are expected to speak. The pressure is on, and the silence seems interminable as all eyes are on you. But rather than thinking aloud you as you try to figure out what you really want to say, try starting with something like, “That’s a great question; let me think about the best way to answer it concisely.” Who would deny that request, especially if the alternative is a rambling mess?

Here’s a final tip: Write a note to remind yourself to avoid these pitfalls, and look at it before you go into the next high stakes meeting. If you wait until you catch yourself rambling, it’s too late. Priming yourself with these reminders before you start is one of the best ways to project persuasive confidence and leadership.

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

 

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

People Leaving Their Corporate Positions is Increasing: They’re Running Out the Door

People Leaving Their Corporate Positions is Increasing: They’re Running Out the Door

During the past few years, more and more people have been leaving their corporate positions. They’re not walking, they are running out the door. Recent studies have suggested that there has been an increasing number of men and women quitting their jobs, regardless of the dips the economy has taken in recent years. It is apparent that this growing rate of people leaving the corporate world has very little to do with money. An astounding 74 percent of people stated that they were looking to leave their current corporate positions.

People in corporate positions are reporting that they feel unhappy, unappreciated, and unnoticed at work. People are also stating that internal politics and disrespectful bosses are having a negative impact on their lives, and no longer wish to continue working for an unethical corporation. Negative work conditions and poor leadership seem to be pushing people to start their own companies. They want to be in a position where they have the power to create healthier work conditions, and maintain happiness in the work place.

Making the decision to leave your current corporate position and become an entrepreneur can be nerve racking. Especially if you have been in the corporate world for the majority of your career. You are leaving something that is comfortable and secure to pursue your own dreams, which can sometime be unpredictable. This is why it’s important to have an exit plan. This will help you avoid leaving your current job in an abrupt way that will leave you broke and overwhelmed.

When you devise a strategy to leave your current career path, it can help you make your transition a bit smoother. If you are in a position where you have made investments that are tied to your current company, you may have to be a little more strategic when making your plans. Take your time when planning your strategy. Remember, the whole point of having an exit strategy is so you have a clear game plan. If you rush into it without being clear on every aspect of your strategy, you will most likely find yourself in a risky situation.

Have an Unstoppable Day,

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Personal Development Women In Business

Do You Hold Yourself Back From Success?

Do you hold yourself back from success?

“Whenever I’m in a meeting and I think of a question or comment, I end up debating with myself about whether or not to say it… then a few minutes later someone else says what I’m thinking, and it leads to a great discussion. I could kick myself when that happens!”

This is a challenge described by many of my clients, both men and women alike, and it stems from a lack of confidence on a variety of levels. But regardless of the origin, the outcome is the same: you hold yourself back from being recognized for your insights, expertise and overall value to the team.

So what causes this behavior, and what can you do about it?

The late, great sales guru, Zig Ziglar, had a powerful expression that has stuck with me from the first time I heard it many years ago. He said that you have to ask yourself, “Is your fear of failure greater than your desire to succeed?”

The short answer is that, for people who typically hold back as described above, their default answer, often subconsciously, is a resounding “YES.” That’s why they hold back.

What is most powerful to me is the thought process you inevitably go through if you actually ask yourself that question when you find yourself holding back That’s because it actually leads to three deeper and more concrete questions that will help you regain confidence and hopefully compel you to take action:

The first is, how would you define “failure” in that situation, and what’s the worst thing that could happen if you did “fail”? Maybe it means you could make a mistake, share wrong information or demonstrate ignorance. And what would be the repercussions of one of those situations? I highly doubt that you could lose your job, take a major hit to your reputation, or die of embarrassment. The worst that would happen is that you might get corrected in public. You’ve heard others make contributions that were not received with open arms; what happened to them? Most likely, nothing

The second key question is, how would you define “success” in that context? Success could be simply a matter of knowing you made a valuable contribution to the discussion. Maybe your idea provides a critical piece that will help the group to problem-solve more efficiently. One way or another, you will show yourself to be a valuable, proactive member of a team, and it might put you on someone’s radar, for all the right reasons.

A third question that gets overlooked is, “What is the effect of silence on my part?” Remember, holding back judiciously from time to time is probably appreciated by most people. But when your reputation in those meetings becomes one of someone who is non-participatory, playing it “safe” and hiding in self-defense mode unless forced to speak, does that really project leadership?

And just in case you were thinking about playing the “introvert” card, stop right there. That excuse won’t work. Introversion is not about fear of public speaking, confidence or general shyness. It’s about how you get energized, and what takes energy from you. Don’t mistake being an introvert with being hesitant to ask a question or offer a comment in a team meeting.

So the next time you recognize that you are holding back, do two things: First, decide what you want your leadership reputation to be. Then ask yourself: “Is my fear of failure greater than my desire to succeed?”

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Deliberate Practice: 4 Steps to Enhancing Your Influence

Click here to watch Deliberate Practice: 4 Steps to Enhancing Your Influence

Being influential requires deliberate practice, discipline and hard work.  The good news, we communicate 24/7 every day.  Therefore, we have unlimited opportunities to enhance our level of influence every day.  This video will share with you four practical and immediate ways you can begin practicing today to grow your influence.

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Growth Skills Women In Business

5 Ways Volunteering Builds Your Personal Brand

It’s absolutely true that we are all busier than we used to be. There are many things vying for our attention – from kids and family to our business commitments. In fact, many times it feels down right exhausting. And you are thinking to yourself right this very moment, “so now you are telling me to carve out time to volunteer?” The number one excuse I hear all of the time when I advise people to get involved in their community by volunteering at events or joining a nonprofit board or a service club is “I don’t have time.” As with anything in life, the benefits of how you spend your time must be worth it. Because there are two things the world doesn’t make more of and that is land and time.

How Volunteering Shaped Me

Volunteering was not something I grew up doing much of, nor did I see members of my family doing it. Sure there were the occasional baseball games of my brother’s where we had to work the concession stand, but that was basically it. Other than a few instances like this, I wasn’t exposed to much volunteering.

So when I decided to join a service club in 1995, I was not only busy in both my personal and business lives, but I was about to embark on something that was, quite frankly, way out of my comfort zone. And that’s exactly why I did it.

You see I used to be very shy. I was uncomfortable being in a room full of people I did not know. What would I say to them? How did I go about starting a conversation with someone I knew nothing about? It was paralyzing. Those that know me well always find this fact a bit unbelievable. But that’s the whole point. Being involved with a service club helped me overcome shyness and increase my self-esteem. It was the number one way I was able to grow personally and professionally.

Here are five ways volunteering can help you build your personal brand:

Enhance Skills.

Volunteering can help with many aspects of sharpening your skills or discovering a hidden talent. There might be instances when you will take the lead on a project or lead a committee or board. I do not care how great of a leader anyone is, managing a nonprofit board is always a personal growth opportunity. Besides honing people skills, other skills you may learn include developing a strategic plan, preparing a budget, learning to fund raise, mastering decision making, or marketing an event. The more unique skills you have, the more you differentiate yourself.

Improve Speaking.

It may be as simple as learning not to be afraid to speak up with your ideas in a small group setting, or it may be as big as being the president of a service club and having to speak to a room full of members regularly. There are opportunities at both ends of the spectrum.

For the most part, we are all comfortable talking about what we know very well, but when it comes to speaking about something new to us, this provides an opportunity for growth. As mentioned earlier, I was extremely shy and the thought of standing up in front of others was not something I even saw myself doing.

Now with over 20 years of volunteer and nonprofit board experience – which included serving as the International President for a service club – I have overcome this to the point that I do keynote speeches. If I can do it, you certainly can!

Build Confidence.

Building confidence goes hand-in-hand with learning new skills and becoming more comfortable speaking in front of others. Your confidence will grow when you become better at anything you do.

Develop Empathy.

Empathy is about putting the needs of others before your own. That is what you do when you volunteer. Volunteering demonstrates you care and that you can be sensitive to the needs of others. Giving back teaches you to nurture relationships and take your eyes off of yourself. The atmosphere of volunteering allows you to be open to different views and gain real connections with people, which builds trust. Trust is at the core of every successful business and personal interaction.

Gain Visibility.

When you put yourself out in the community, you will meet new people, thus strengthening your network. Many movers and shakers in your field or community are already volunteering and looking to connect with others. Building relationships is vital to anyone’s success. You may gain new clients or it may lead to new career opportunities. The more you are seen, the more people will think about you for various business, or even personal, interactions.

Building your personal brand by giving back to your community is a powerful win-win. These five areas develop who you are as a person and the value you provide to others. Because in the end, personal branding is about what you bring to others.

I help executives create a powerful image and brand so they look and feel confident wherever they are. Contact me at sheila@imagepowerplay.com to schedule a 20-minute call to discuss how we can work together to grow your visibility through my return on image® services.

 

 

 

Categories
Growth News and Politics Personal Development Women In Business

HRH Princess Lamia: Saudi Women Have More Rights Than They Realize

HRH Princess Lamia: Saudi Women have More Rights Than They Realize

BY: NICOLE SAWYER

ALWALEED PHILANTHROPIES

HRH Princess Lamia Al Saud is the Secretary General and member of the Board of Trustees at Alwaleed Philanthropies.

In a deeply conservative culture, the women of Saudi Arabia are as mysterious to outsiders as the veils which mask their faces. Who are these women? What inspires them? What is life like behind the veil? Are they as confined as the lens of mainstream media so often portrays, or are they bold, beautiful, empowered women who are completely misunderstood?

Recently, a young Saudi woman named Khulood, was detained after a controversial video went viral, depicting her wearing a miniskirt, walking around the conservative Najd region.

The model’s snapchat post sparked outrage across the Islamic kingdom and mass opinion was clearly divided; some traditionalists calling for her arrest, others jumping to defend her bravery.

I had the rare chance to sit down with a lead reformer on women’s rights in Saudi Arabia, Her Royal Highness Princess Lamia Al Saud, granddaughter of King Saud bin Abdulaziz Al Saud. We discussed the evolving role of women in Saudi Arabia.

The West views Saudi women as oppressed because they are segregated from men in public, banned from driving cars, and prevented from leaving the house without permission from their male guardians, but Princess Lamia tells a different story.

“These women are warriors. I believe the Saudi women is most powerful women on earth because she is really, really, really strong and she believes in herself and she knows her capability. They’re very stubborn and they know exactly what they want,” she said.

Princess Lamia explained how it’s not technically “against the law” for women to drive or socialize with men in public that are not related to them, rather these rules follow “tribal ethics and deep-rooted religious beliefs” that have been in place for centuries.

For the purpose of progress, she says people shouldn’t judge what they don’t fully understand.

“You have to accept the other as is, even if you don’t agree,” said Princess Lamia.

“You have to understand their culture, their tradition before you judge, before you say whether there is a violation, whether it is right or wrong. This is what we depend on to create understanding and tolerance,” explained the princess who serves as secretary-general at Alwaleed Philanthropies, the charitable organization where Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, one of the world’s richest people, pledged to donate his entire $32 billion fortune towards initiatives to combat disease, poverty and the empowerment of women.

ALWALEED PHILANTHROPIES

Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, one of the world’s richest people, pledges to donate his entire $32 billion fortune towards initiatives to combat disease, poverty and empower women.

Prince Alwaleed is an advocate of female freedom in the Saudi peninsula and financed the training for the first female commercial airline pilot, Hanadi Zakaria al Hindi. He said at her graduation that he is “in full support of Saudi ladies working in all fields.”

Hanadi Zakaria al Hindi, First Saudi Female Pilot Breaks Glass Ceiling for Other Women

Princess Lamia applauds her young country of 85-years for making efforts to create an environment conducive to working women. “50 years ago, Riyadh was a small village and women didn’t have that much of an opportunity or even the awareness of the role in the community,” she said.

Today, the Saudi government is taking steps to inspire women to enter the workforce as it seeks to be more economically dynamic and aligned with the developed world.

In the past decade, tens of thousands of Saudi women have studied abroad through government scholarship programs. King Abdullah appointed 30 women to the country’s top advisory body, the Shura Council and granted women the right to vote in 2015.

Still, Princess Lamia doesn’t agree with all the rules enforced by the religious establishment, she’d like to see the guardian law regulated and more ladies in leadership roles.

She and a team of ten women who make up the board of trustees for Alwaleed Philanthropies are working to empower thousands of women by giving them career training and educating them about their legal rights through the Wa’iyah Initiative.

They hope to create a model that can serve as a roadmap for others to encourage tolerance and openness for women’s rights.

ALWALEED PHILANTHROPIES

Princess Lamia and ten women make up the board of trustees for Alwaleed Philanthropies.

“Even me as a secretary general when we first started this initiative, I was very excited, I was scared and shocked. I didn’t know many of my rights as a woman and a Saudi citizen,” Princess Lamia said.

“Through Wa’iyah, we’re trying to create awareness and make the women understand their rights. We have a lot of rights that they do not understand. Of course, you heard in the media about guardianship. Well it’s true we do have a problem with that. There’s a lot of girls that suffer which I would never deny. But you cannot fix it or even fight it. You have to understand, you have a legal and religious way to convince the society here. The old generation says the guardian, your father your brother is your protector, he is not abusing you,” Princess Lamia explained.

“That’s what makes our work harder. You’re not only working with general society beliefs, no it’s more deeper and more stronger, we are going to the roots. You need to know how to crack it,” she said.

“I would never ever want to be apart from my family, or not having the blessing of my father or brother. Even you, I don’t think any person in the world would not love to have the blessing of their family. But I would say [The guardian law] it needs a guideline, it needs a rule, where to stop. Where’s it’s okay and where it’s not ok.”

It’s human nature to fear what we don’t understand. But as Saudi Arabia works towards change in their country, never before has it been so important for Westerners to be open minded.

The princess shared her views on how far her 85-year old country has come regarding women’s role in society, the Trump administration’s travel ban, the refugee crisis and much more.

 

 

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Is Positive Feedback Harder To Give Than Negative Feedback?

I’m sure you’re familiar with that unpleasant feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize you have to give someone negative feedback. You don’t want any drama and you try to avoid conflict, but eventually you have to find a way to tell them that the report needs to be redone, that they’ve been late for the third time, or that the promotion is being given to someone else.

While it may not be surprising that, according to a recent HBR study, 21% of people will avoid giving negative feedback to direct reports, the same study revealed that 37% of people also don’t give positive feedback!  At that point, the question becomes: Is it actually harder to give praise than critique?

The article proposes a variety of reasons why people don’t give positive feedback, ranging from being “too busy” and forgetting, to feeling like a boss should be tough, or that giving praise was a sign of weakness.

Most intriguing to me, however, was the idea that some people don’t give positive feedback because they don’t know how. So from here, let’s look at three simple strategies for giving clear and effective positive feedback.

K.I.S.S.

No, I’m not suggesting you do anything that will warrant a call from HR. You are probably familiar with the age-old acronym K.I.S.S., or “Keep It Simple, Stupid.” Praise doesn’t need to be emotional, gushy, effusive or melodramatic. People just like to know – especially from you “tough graders” out there – that they have met your standards, produced high-quality work, or been successful at completing a difficult project on time and under budget.

Simple comments like, “Thanks for getting that piece back to me so quickly,” “The layout looks terrific, nice job,” or “Looks like you got everything back up to date, much better” are all that is needed to let people know where they stand. It also provides a sense of closure, which helps keep them from worrying that there may be more bad news to come, so they can comfortably shift their full attention to the next task on the list.

Be Specific

Generic comments like “good job,” while better than nothing, don’t tell the person what it is that you like about it, and can often feel perfunctory and insincere. Whatever it is, referencing the specific effort or product helps them to understand what is most important to you and encourages them to focus future efforts on achieving similar outcomes.

Even if it is just following up on something for which you had previously given negative feedback, acknowledge that the specific problem was fixed to appropriate standards and what positive outcome it promotes, e.g., “This new layout is much cleaner, and the image really pops; the client is going to love it.”

Look in the Mirror

If you’re really stuck for how to give praise, ask yourself, if you had done that work, how would you want to be appreciated? Be the boss you wish you’d had, and offer the word of praise that would have been meaningful to you.

Don’t worry that offering praise will make it seem like you’re “going soft” or that people will slack off once they think you’re happy. On the contrary, for many people, praise is actually a motivator. Success begets success, and feelings of success beget more behaviors of success.

What’s critical to understand is that when people feel like they receive sufficient positive feedback, it makes them more open to hearing and accepting negative feedback from the same person. This is because they know that the boss is fair and clear, and that all feedback, whether positive or negative, is honest and comes from the heart.

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Do you have trouble giving feedback, whether positive or negative?  Or do you have other questions or feedback about this issue? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Personal Development Women In Business

The New Normal

Hello C-Suite Community,

What is the new normal in today’s business environment? May believe its becoming an entrepreneurial leader. In most cases that means transitioning out of the C-Suite to business ownership. With business ownership comes a lot of responsibilities. Are you ready?

One of the keys to successfully transitioning from a C-Suite position to entrepreneurship is finding your new normal. Leaving corporate to become an entrepreneurial leader can be overwhelming, scary and you may feel uncertain at times. Follow a plan to keep you on track and focused on your goals. You can start your exit strategy by relying on the guidelines listed below.

Fully Commit by Setting Your Mindset to Leaving Corporate Security Behind

For most people, the thought of leaving the security of a paycheck behind is scary. It is important to have the right mindset when you leave the security of the corporate world as you plan your exit strategy. It may seem easy to keep a lifeline, “just in case”, but the truth is that will just hold you back. You will never be able to fully commit while you are still linked to a boss. You have to be 100% committed to leave everything that comes along with working a 9 to 5 job, or you will never reach your full potential.

Develop a Clear Plan

Most of the people looking to leave their C-Suite jobs are part of the Generation X era. At that age, you want to make sure you are going to be successful, and you certainly don’t want to lose all of your money because you went into a startup with no actual plan to execute. Think about what you are good at, and what your first step, second step, third step… is going to be. Being unhappy at your current job should not be your only motivation for beginning your own startup.

Take Inventory of your Skill Set Before You Transition Out

No matter what type of skills you’re applying when beginning a startup, you should always be learning more to help you grow a successful business. Never stop learning, if you do, you should stay and continue to collect your weekly paycheck. Some people make the mistake of putting their goals aside, to learn more. Don’t do this. You will end up falling behind, and never leaving GO. Be aware of your skill inventory, and learn while you are building your business. That way you are still taking steps toward success, while you are sharpening your skills. You will never find your new normal if you are putting everything on hold while you educate yourself.

 

Be Unstoppable Together

  

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Management Skills Women In Business

Three Ways To Show You Believe In Others

The last person who had a stellar career without help from anyone whatsoever was … well … no one. So it makes no sense to lead as if the people around you never need help getting where they, and you, want them to go. In fact, just the opposite is true. If you want to create leaders who are Greater Than Yourself – and that should be your goal, by the way – then you need to express a deep belief in people, because none of us get very far without someone who believes in us more than we believe in ourselves.

If you struggle to believe in certain people, consider it your problem, not theirs. They were hired for a reason, so treat them like they deserve the job, address their skills gaps, and then lead them with an I-believe-in-you attitude that inspires their success. If you do this consistently over time, most people will succeed.

But how can you show people you believe in them? Glad you asked. Here are three ways:

Give Them Some Rope. Irnande Altema, who now is chief of staff for a state senator, recalls gravitating toward a supervisor early in her career because he saw her potential and gave her “several assignments so I could grow and develop.” That wasn’t always easy for Altema, but it probably wasn’t always easy for the supervisor, either.

When you believe in people, you push them out of their comfort zone even if it takes you out of yours. You give them responsibilities that stretch them, knowing that sometimes they will fail. Then you celebrate with them when they do well and support them when they struggle. And they may struggle. But if they know you believe in them, they seldom will lack for effort.

Serve Them Healthy Ego Biscuits. As a first-generation professional, Altema points out that she’s been prone to the “imposter syndrome” – the fear that you really aren’t good enough for the job you’ve been given. Her supervisor gave her regular reminders that she was “capable,” she said, but he also followed that by helping her create practical strategies to accomplish her goals. In other words, he didn’t just give her fluffy pastry compliments.

“He has more belief than I knew could exist, which makes me more diligent to not disappoint him or myself,” she said. “My confidence grows with each conversation and encouraging word he says to me. Now, I believe in me when others may not.”

Often, if we paint a portrait of who a person can become, that person will end up seeing himself or herself that way and begin to live that way. Darren Pierre said in elementary school he made low grades, was limited in his expression, and was growing up in a troubled home. Now he has a Ph.D., writes books, and gives talks frequently about the “power of speaking to a person’s potential.” Why did he make the change? Because a fourth-grade teacher believed in him and helped him see a different portrait for his life.

“What my teacher did was speak to who she knew me to be and not who I was showing up as,” Pierre said. “In doing so, she invited me and challenged me to do more, be more, and expect more of myself.”

Extend Grace but Speak the Truth. When Fred Winchar was a young manager, he recalls the power of belief expressed in one of his supervisors. Fred didn’t always handle his managerial authority well, but his supervisor never threw him under the bus.

“He ultimately would bear that responsibility to his higher ups, but he would also call me into his office and, without being a monster to me, make it very clear that my actions as a manager had a direct impact on both people and finances,” said Winchar, who now is president of Max Cash Title Loans. “He taught me how to pause. Think before I act. Take into consideration that each mistake could be an opportunity to learn. Take responsibility for my decisions. He was powerful yet not pretentious.”

If you spend much time reading or listening to self-help gurus, you’ll hear a lot about the importance of believing in yourself. And rightly so. But as an Extreme Leader, extending that belief to others is how you have the biggest impact.