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“Negotiator – How To Overcome Non-Compliance For Better Improvement” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To feed improvement, starve non-compliance.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book

 

 

“Negotiator – How To Overcome Non-Compliance For Better Improvement”

Well, I guess that’s it – we lost. No, we didn’t, was the reply. Our opponents offered us a quid pro quo. And I don’t believe half of the folks negotiating knew what the heck that meant. We don’t have to comply with the outcome. And if we don’t, the only thing they can do is reopen the negotiation for our non-compliance. That was an exchange that occurred between two people that were on the short end of what they’d just branded as the initial phase of a negotiation. They were tough negotiators that sought the improvement of their plight. The strategy they’d just chose was to ignore the agreement they’d just made. Instead of abiding, they’d find a reason to ignore it.

I’m sure you can recall a time when you thought you had everything on the right track. It may have been at the end of a negotiation, or any interaction you had with someone. Everyone agreed to abide in a specific manner. Later, you discovered, that was the last thing the other party intended to do.

 

Here’s how you can handle non-compliance in the future.

 

Perspective:

First, be aware of the other party’s perception of an outcome. If they don’t believe they received a good deal, they may attempt to renege on it. Also, remember, someone’s perception is their reality. That means, you can think it’s a good deal from their vantage point, but unless they do, it’s not.

 

Seek Leverage:

Look for points of leverage that can be used to thwart the offender’s opinions. That may lie in unsuspecting places (e.g., church, community, business, political, family, social media, etc.). Depending on your ferocity to alter his non-compliance, leave no stone unturned. The more advanced the leverage you can bring to bear, the less effort you’ll have to exert to achieve a better outcome.

 

Seek Allies:

Allies can be a huge source of leverage. But you have to be cautious about how you choose them, and the environments from which they come.  

 

  • Internal – Be aware of the allies you have inside your camp. Members within your environment may have different goals and aspirations. Thus, some may work against you while casting the pretense of being on your side. To reduce the chance of working with subversives inside your camp, work with trusted sources you’ve worked with before.

 

  • Social media – Because you can’t completely control your messaging on social media, this can be a daunting channel to use when attempting to alter the opinions of your adversaries’ supporters. Thus, it’s one reason to exercise caution when placing information in those venues. Nevertheless, you can promote premises that might resonate with some individuals. Do that by placing timely information on appropriate social media outlets. To enhance your efforts, consider the outlet that the oppositions’ supporters retrieve information from when considering this as a possible tool.

 

  • News outlets – Who do you know in the news outlets in your town? If you don’t have any contacts, create some. When you want to get a message to stakeholders that might be used as leverage or for any other advantage, news outlets can be an invaluable resource. Don’t ignore them. And, if you don’t want something disparaging you say to reach others, don’t say it. Even if it’s ‘off the record’, someone may leak your words.

Communications:

 

  • Speak the right language – When communicating and attempting to bond with other parties, speak their language. That means, use the same words and idioms they use. To bond even better, use the same inflections and accents they use too. Mirroring them through speech will create the impression that you and they are similar. And it’s difficult for someone to dislike someone that’s like themselves. Conversely, if you wish to lord over others, use lofty language that signals your prominence over them.

 

  • Keep communications simple – In some cases, it may be better to keep your communications simple. For some information consumers, you should use words that are easy to understand. Don’t speak over their heads by using words that they can’t comprehend. If you do, your communication may become challenging to grasp and understand. If it’s overly challenging, they may perceive you as putting on airs, or worse, misleading.

 

  • Galvanize opponent’s supporters – It may appear contradictory to galvanize your opponent’s supporters. But your efforts to thwart their non-compliance may be enhanced by using an opponent’s supporters against him. Sometimes this can be accomplished by appealing for fairness in an attempt to capture the hearts and minds of those individuals (e.g. how would you like someone doing this to you or those you care for). At other times, you may pursue their support by casting your opponent in a light that is far outside of what’s typical for a situation. Adopting either of these maneuvers, depending on the circumstances, should allow mental movement to occur in the minds of your opponent’s followers. Remember, you’re seeking the hearts and minds of those individuals. If you want either or both, use the appropriate strategy required to acquire the outcome you’re seeking.

Reflection:

Striving to overcome non-compliance can be a daunting task if someone’s actions are allowed to fester into a formidable foe. Therefore, always be watchful of situations going awry. Take action before they hinder you. The quicker you’re able to identify the beginning of a straying position, one that’s departing from an agreement or expected behavior, the faster you can address it. That will be half the battle of confronting those that later contradict their commitment.  You will have uncovered them at the early stages of their betrayal, which will give you more time to reposition yourself and them … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“The Hidden Role Politics Plays In The Cover-up” – Negotiation Insight

 

“Some people think cover-ups are a necessity of life; others think they’re not. But when politics is involved, always think of covering yourself, less you be the one that’s covered up.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

“The Hidden Role Politics Plays In The Cover-up”

He awoke with a feeling of utter disbelief. He’d done everything right by following the guidelines and keeping his superiors abreast of his actions. They’d given him their buy-in as he moved from one aspect of the operations to the next. Still, when the outcome was not as expected, he was abandoned by those that had given him their assurances of support. Even worse, they threw him under the proverbial bus. He didn’t know it at the time, but politics had played a role in his abandonment. There’d been a cover-up. And his betrayal was done to conceal the nefarious actions of others.

Later, he wondered what happened and mused about being a sacrificial lamb. Upon reflection, he realized that he’d been led to slaughter while others kept him in a state of calm. And that occurred through the reassurance that his superiors and contemporaries gave him that he’d be protected. He concluded that politics had played a hidden role in the decision to cast him as the fall-guy. It placed the blame on him for what others touted as an adverse outcome.

Has anything like that ever happened to you? I’m sure you can recount some issues that you experienced in your life that took a side-turn. Just when you thought everything was on the track of success, something occurred to derail it. It may have been politics’ hidden role that served as the culprit.

When a crisis is brewing, warning signs occur. If you miss those signals, you may be walking down a precarious path fraught with danger that’s waiting for your arrival. To become better insulated from the undesirable underbelly that politics can have in uncertain situations, consider the following as you go forward in life.

 

The Political Game:

Most cover-ups occur due to pressure brought from a superior force. And it’s cast upon those that have limited abilities to confront it. Therefore, when you’re the lesser force in the equation, be vigilant about why an entity might abandon you, due to the pressures forced upon them. Therein will lie one of the safeguards you can use to protect yourself.

When politics are involved, people will align with unimaginable sources to safeguard themselves. Consider the forces you might form to shield yourself too. Just keep in mind that no alliance is permanent. Hence, be aware of when they shift. As they do, that’ll be your cue to reassess the forces against you and the possible time to form new alliances.

Mindfulness:

Be mindful of the role you’re playing in someone’s political game. Consider how disposable you are and what the kingmaker’s goals are. You should also take into mind the type of characteristics he possesses. Ask yourself, is he someone that stands behind his words? What proof has he shown of that in the past? What were some of his most dire situations where he stood up for those he represented? And, if so, when did he abandon them?

You’re seeking a roadmap of his past activities that might indicate how he’ll act and react in future situations. That’s important because you’re going to base your interactions with others in his sphere based on his prior actions. Sometimes, that insight will allow you to become insulated from the drudgeries of the politics that might grip him.

Connections:

Connect with those in power while realizing that their power is fluid – just like it’ll flow to them, then through them, one day, it’ll eventually flow away from them. So, be aware of whom you’ll connect with as power shifts. Also, be translucent when doing so. That means you should be cognizant that there are no permanent friends, no permanent enemies, just permanent interests.

Thus, always consider if you’ll align yourself with the power that’s behind the face of power or those that defy that source. To assess which may be better, determine the path to whom authority is flowing, and the probability of it igniting new leadership. Either way, understand the political game you’re in, and you’ll have a better chance of protecting yourself. Accordingly, you need to choose wisely.

Reflection:

No one is immune from injustices. Because justice herself can be an unfaithful mistress. If you think because you do the right thing, by following the rules and keeping interested parties abreast of your actions, you’ll escape harm, think again. Politics make for strange bedfellows. Always remember, those with substantial influence and power don’t want to lose it. To prevent that from occurring, they may combine forces with the most unsavory characters to maintain their authority. And that can leave you in the lurch.

Consider the thoughts and ideas mentioned earlier when you first sense betrayal or shifting support. Even better, attempt not to place yourself in such a position by always being aware of what’s occurring around you. If you’re never in a place where danger lurks, it will never find you … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Don’t fear opposition. From it, you can become stronger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book

“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“

 

He observed the opposing member’s body language and noted a rise in their opposition. He thought – this intervention is not going well. I’ll display a stronger resolve through my body language when I speak. And that will enhance my words.

Even those not astute at reading body language become swayed by their gestures. Some they see, and others they miss – their subconsciousness may capture the latter. That may lead to someone thinking, ‘I had a hunch or a feeling about that. But I didn’t know what it meant.’ In reality, that was their intuition summoning their consciousness. When one notices the slight gesture of someone biting their lips, hands-on hips, or an intense glare, those gestures convey a message.

You can use the following information about reading body language to resolve opposition to your position.

 

Identify Alliances

Always know who’s aligned with whom before you attempt an intervention. Without that insight, you don’t know who might be your real friend or foe. That’s important because, without that knowledge, you can’t confront the real force that opposes you. Thus, there may be a stronger force with superior powers that go unaddressed. And that could leave you going in circles wondering why you’re not advancing.

To identify possible factions aligned against you, consider planting misinformation about one group in the other. And note what that information does within those units. In particular, observe what the info does per new alliances the opposition forms. You can glean additional insight by visually inspecting the coalitions when you’re in the same environment. Do that by noting who congregates with whom and any other nonverbal exchanges that occur. You’re looking for the slightest of shifts to increase your advantage. If the forces are still committed to one another as before, that might indicate the information was insufficient for its purpose. It could also imply that there’s a stronger alliance than you’d imagined. And an FYI, this tactic is served better if you have a confidant within your targets midst place the information.

While some might consider this maneuver to be underhanded, depending on the threat confronting you, it may be well warranted – even if some revile you. Just be mindful that those with the most to lose will be the ones that contest you the most. Once uncovered, they’ll be the real opponents challenging your position.

 

Understanding One Important Body Language Queue

To identify alliances through body language, observe gestures passed between members of the opposition. Such gestures as one member placing a hand on the shoulder of another while talking can silently indicate that he’s seeking support from that person. You can also observe someone searching for assistance when a person speaks, and someone from his group places a hand on his shoulder. Since the prior gesture can also be a form of control (i.e., let’s not go that far), take note of when it occurs and who initiates the action. If it’s a “let’s not go that far” intent, the person displaying the gesture may be a leader behind the scenes or someone that you can use later to control the person speaking. Using a veiled leader in that capacity would allow you to use the hidden powers of an influencer.

 

Signs of Escalation

Some body language gestures are like canaries in a coal mine – they foretell pending danger.

 

Face-To-Face

You can sense some body language gestures before the display becomes altered. Thus, those displays reflect the emotional state of that individual at that moment. Those signals are called micro-expressions.

There are other signs to observe, such as hand flexing, the hand becoming a fist, displaying a grimacing demeanor while moving closer to you, and increasing the rate of speech. Such indicators can be the signal of emotional elevation, which can lead to hostile escalations.

It’s important to note such signals because they can indicate a change in the mental temperature. And that could put you in a worse position – which can lead you and them to become unreceptive to logical thinking.

 

On Phone

When speaking on the phone, listen for deep sighing, the deliberation of words, and the pace of speech of the person with whom you’re talking. As someone’s ire becomes heightened, you’ll hear the rise of it through those nonverbal queues. Note if you’re displaying such gestures too. Because regardless of who commits those actions, it’s an opportunity for you to shift the conversation in a direction that suits your purpose.

 

Reflection:

You can note the effectiveness of your efforts by the shifting positions your opponents adopt. Note the shift verbally and physically when in person. That’ll indicate their attempts to seek an opening they can exploit. Which means they’re on the defense.

Thus, when intervening in situations, depending on the value of the outcome, do so with vigor – don’t dither. Dithering can waste your time and hamper your position. And that’s something you can’t afford. Use the body language signs mentioned before, during, and after an intervention. They’ll put you in a more powerful position … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

 

#opposition #Body #language #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Reading micro-expressions can help avert crises. But only if your interpretation is accurate.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better”

A pale expression held his face. Holy ‘blank’ was the four-letter word obscenity he uttered. We’re in a full-blown crisis! Dumbfounded, he said, what are we going to do now? We have to negotiate with them! His associate said, let’s meet with our adversaries. We can read their micro-expressions during the meeting to gain insight into their real thoughts and feelings. That’ll allow us to know what’s really on their minds.

Do you know how to read micro-expressions? Do you know what they are? Continue reading, and you’ll be able to answer both of those questions. Plus, you’ll discover how you can use them when you’re in a crisis.

 

Micro-expressions:

Micro-expressions are emotional displays that last for less than a quarter of a second. They reflect the reality of someone’s thoughts at that moment. Hence, if you’re able to interpret someone’s emotional displays accurately, you’ll have insight into their current emotional state. Doing that will give you insight into how they feel about an offer or statement. During a crisis, having this insight gives you real-time information about the direction you should take.

There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone throughout the world

  • Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.
  • Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before charging.
  • Disgust – This micro-expression is displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is wrinkled.
  • Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
  • Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer. You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
  • Sadness – Note sadness through drooping eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
  • Happiness – Happiness is shown through wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile, and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this gesture.

 

Using Micro-expressions In Crisis Intervention

Knowing someone’s real thoughts allows you to understand their source of motivation – and that’s the benefit of being able to read someone’s expressions.

During a crisis, use the unannounced information you’ve gathered and assess how strong the opposition is. From there, determine the degree of mental or real force to summon. Another plus is the ability to evaluate the commitment that those on the opposing side have to one another. Accordingly, if you can identify those with less alliance, you may be able to separate them from the others. Therefore, you’d be weakening their numerical strength, which may assist in decreasing their overall power.

Once you’ve gathered the mentioned insights, consider different ways to use them to your benefit. As an example, you might:

  • create false scenarios to confuse the other party per the direction they should take
  • align some of your stronger positions with their weaker ones (do this to keep their stronger points at bay) – then you can state that you’re trying your best to meet their needs
  • form a splinter group, consisting of those from your side, theirs, and neutral stakeholders to combat the overall strength of the opposing party – this maneuver is akin to divide and conquer, with the benefit of your team becoming stronger, while their’s become diluted.

 

Feigning Micro-expressions

While genuine micro-expressions give insight into one’s mind, you can fake them. As an example, you can exaggerate contempt by turning one corner of your lip up and allowing it to linger longer than a micro-expression. Even if the other person didn’t initially observe your expression, you could ask if he saw what you’d done. Regardless, you’ll have him on the defense by asking questions and him answering them.

 

Confront With Caution

There’s nothing more daunting than sizing up an adversary and not identifying its true leader. That means you must be hyper-aware of who your real opponent is and the decision-making abilities they have. You’ve heard about the power behind the throne. Even more so during a crisis, that’s who you want to confront. Your rivals may have a shared leadership structure or using a front-person as the face of their team. They’d do that to confuse you.

To identify a power source, observe who might look at whom for confirmation before making or accepting an offer. You can also detect subtle signals per the hesitation in committing that act. That’s where your observance of micro-expressions will lend assistance in identifying a person fronting as one possessing power.

 

Reflection

Being able to identify and interpret micro-expressions accurately will give you an enormous advantage in any situation. During a crisis, having this skill will magnify your power exponentially. So, if you use this ability wisely, you’ll deter and avert more crises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life” – Negotiation Insight

 

“The myth about supremacy is, it is a myth. Because everyone’s insights add value to the whole, even if their insights detract from the thoughts about the superiority of others.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life”

 

Don’t allow the supremacy myth to destroy your unrealized opportunities due to the way you think.

We don’t need their input. We’re superior in every way to them – said one associate to the other. So, they entered into a bargaining session with those they assumed were inferior, and became obliterated! Since they went into the situation with a superior mindset, they’d not considered options that might have improved what became their dismal outcome. They didn’t prepare appropriately per thoughts they should have pondered. And that was to their detriment.

Continue reading, and you’ll gather insights to improve your interactions with other people. Because, even if you don’t define yourself as having myths about others, others have them about you. And since everyone is codependent upon each other, ignoring this illusion can prevent future advancements in thinking for you and them. Without that improvement, everyone will advance at a slower pace.

 

Impact of Thoughts

As someone of authority, have you considered how myths impact your life? If your first thought was, I don’t think others are inferior – you should reconsider your belief. Everyone considers himself above others in some cases. You may view the disheveled homeless person, the ticket-taker on the train or those in other environments to be inferior. The point is, recognize your reality for what it is. From that point, you can begin to deal with your version of the myth. That’s important because that myth might be hampering the advancement of your life based on the way you think.

 

The Problem With Supremacy

Thinking you’re superior to others taints your mind. It affirms misconceptions that you possess that may hamper your interactions with others. And that can place you at a disadvantage when you’re trying to sway someone to adopt your position. Worse, you’ll lose time and attrition on aspects that might have otherwise advanced that position.

Always be aware of what you say about the abilities of others. And be more aware of the inner thoughts you possess about such feelings. Because that’s the message you’ll project in the way you act towards them.

 

Identifying Your Fears

Fear may be driving your beliefs about your supremacy. If so, are you aware of what you fear? The point is, you should examine why you hold such views to be truths if you do. Because you’re alienating yourself from those that you may use as allies in a best-case scenario. In a worst-case scenario, you’re turning them into adversaries.

By identifying your source of motivation, you’ll have a point from which to address your supremacy challenges. That will allow you to shift your mind, which will lead to self-improvement and your positioning with others. That means the more open you are to their viewpoints, even if you don’t initially agree with them, the better your chances will be of understanding their perspective. From there, you’ll become more sensitized, which should place you and them on a better road of consideration, which should lead to better outcomes.

 

Reflection

When you’re in any role, leadership, or non-leadership, you must possess top-of-mind awareness of how you view people. If you consider others to be inferior, you’ll attempt to cast that demeanor upon them. Some will resist, and others will fight you for the insult you toss their way. That can dampen your position and make it more challenging to deal with them.

People see the world differently. That’s due to the experiences and environments they’ve encountered. Therefore, if you wish to improve conditions in a situation, consider availing yourself to the thoughts and opinions of those that don’t come from your background, and those that haven’t shared your experiences. Having their added viewpoint will allow you to see conditions from another perspective. It will also open the spectrum of new opportunities. Those will become the opportunities that will increase the chances of improvement for everyone involved … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise” – Negotiation Insight

 

“All promises have expiration dates. Don’t let yours expire without reaping its rewards.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise”

 

… They needed to increase their perception of power. So, they sought an ally to enhance that perception. They made a promise to support that ally’s efforts from that point into the future.

But when a new leader gained power, he abandoned his ally. The ally, upon reflection, realized they were pawns in their former partner’s game. They’d been betrayed and sold out because they no longer had the value they once possessed. Within their ranks, they asked the question, what is the expiration on a promise?

That question is one that you should ponder about every situation. Things constantly change. And thus, parameters formed in one alliance can alter a promise when people form other partnerships. So, if you feel the ground shifting, take note of where it’s flowing. That noted change will signal the possible need to develop new alliances. A promise will only last as long as it serves a purpose. To assess when it may begin to lose its commitment, consider the following.

 

Where you were

Knowing the environment a promise was made in, and the surrounding circumstances that led to its creation will give you a starting point from which to monitor its party’s commitment. Consider who the players were that entered into the alignment that made the promise. And, consider their source of power moving into the future. Making that assessment can serve as a bell-weather that indicates when you should consider forming new alliances. Being blind to such occurrences can leave you in a darkness that’s fraught with danger.

 

Your journey

As you reflect on the dilemma of lost trust, due to broken promises, think of the path that you and your allies have traveled. Consider what might have led or is leading to a separation of support you’ve provided for each other. Partnerships don’t dissolve overnight. There are always pending signs of potential danger. Look for them and heed warning signs on your path. Think about the variables that transpired that you possibly ignored due to circumstances that you didn’t want to consider or those that you intentionally chose to ignore. The purpose of that is to assess the mindset that you and your ally had as you traveled to the place that you now find the relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do now to increase my perceived value? Who might I align with to improve my position? And where might that alignment lead? You need firm footing to escape a slippery slope. Connecting with those that can extend support might be the support required to do just that.

 

Where you are

Now, you’re in a very precarious situation. Your most reliable ally has deserted you. And, you’re left surrounded by your enemies. What do you do? To survive, you must create new alliances. And you have to consider the trust factor. And you must ask, how long might a promise they make last? The answer that echoes back is, now is not the time to worry about that. You’re in survival mode.

If you want to survive, you must do whatever is required to sustain yourself. That may even include making alliances with the devil. Meaning, you may have to stretch very far outside of your comfort zone. But if survival is meaningful to you, you’ll do what it takes to prevent you from being taken by what you do.

 

Reflection

When you find yourself in a less than tenable position, due to broken promises, don’t be Pollyannaish. Look at your dilemma for what it is, not necessarily the way you want it to be. Everything changes. And as they do, they don’t have to leave you in a lurch. You can prevent that from occurring by being aware of shifting alliances and making sure that you’re aligned with powers that will remain powerful. Do that as long as an association serves your needs, and you’ll be less likely to be broken by broken promises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To decrease your chances of being conquered, know how others will fight.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer”

He realized he’d be entering into a tough situation. In past interactions, verbal fights had broken out within this group. And tensions had frayed. Those frayed tensions led to increasing distrust amongst those discussing the proposed resolution.

Anticipating how someone might respond to an offer or proposal is something that you should always consider. Why? Because it impacts how you and they will interact. Thus, if you’ve had conflicts in the past, and nothing’s been done to address them satisfactorily, more than likely, they’ll fight you in the future.

The following is information you can use to plan, control, and dissuade others from attempting to conquer you. It’s a thought process that every good negotiator considers. And when someone fights to overcome your efforts, it’s insightful information that will arm you to combat them.

 

Planning

 

  • Fight/Flight/Stand Still
    • Before engaging in any forum, assess what occurred in prior encounters with its participating members. That history reflection will provide insights about the developments that might arise in your upcoming meeting with them. It also allows you the time to plan the actions and reactions you’ll promote to enhance your position.

In particular, consider whether you want the next encounter to end in a stalemate (you’re marking time to become stronger), you want the opposition to flee the potential conflict, recognizing your strength is too powerful for them to combat (be mindful of how you cast yourself – this may cause your opponents to seek greater power by building stronger coalitions), you’re going to fight for future positioning or as a means to get closer to its end.

  • Strategy
    • You should develop an approach based on what’s occurred in the past, the outcome that arose from using that plan, how those you engaged during that session reacted, and to what degree new players will enter into the upcoming activities. Taking into account those factors will allow you to shape the tactics you’ll develop to create and employ the best strategy.

 

  • Who are you
    • Another thought to consider is, who are you? That question answers the characteristics you possess. Some people can’t or won’t engage in some activities because it may be outside of their moral bearings. Having insight about your ethical boundaries will help you determine how far you’ll go to seek an outcome that may be crossing a line. Make the same assessment of those that you’ll be meeting.

 

Improvement

 

  • Interactions
    • Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t get what you wanted, and yet you still felt good about the outcome? Even if you haven’t had that experience, that’s the emotional state you want to instill in others that deal with you. Leave them feeling that they walked away with something that they’re proud to have achieved.

The way you accomplish that feeling lies in how you deal with people. In some situations, you don’t want to appear stubborn, dogmatic, or immobile. In the wrong condition, people will detest you. But in the right circumstances, such a demeanor will aid in fostering the persona needed to back those that pose threats away from you. So, be aware of how you project your persona and make sure it matches the outcome you’re seeking. Doing so will prevent future consternation that might impede future progress.

 

  • Framing
    • Framing occurs when you control the narrative of a conversation. And, by framing an interaction in a particular manner, you control the discussion and the flow of the communication.
    • Outcome – No matter the outcome, think about how you’ll frame it so that it appears to be beneficial to your position.
    • Opponents – Think about how you’ll frame the opponents that have engaged you during and after an interaction. You can position them in a positive or negative light, depending on how you wish others to view them. The choice you make should depend on how you want them to interact with you going forward.

 

  • Future Interactions
    • Other players – When considering how you’ll improve future situations, consider who might become aligned with whom. That’ll impact the chances of future success for you and them. There may exist the opportunity to use their alliances to your advantage.

 

Reflections

In answering the question, they will fight back but will they conquer, the answer is, it depends. It depends on the variables that you identify and address that will influence the outcome of a meeting – and how successful you are in developing a plan that accurately addresses those variables. The point is, you’ll have more control of any encounter if you plan for it appropriately. Once you do, you’ll be less likely to be conquered in your engagements … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Maintain Power In The Face Of Threats” – Negotiation Insight

“Threats can be disruptive. But unchecked threats that challenge power usually leads to destruction. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Maintain Power In The Face Of Threats”

 

The leaders that preceded him always supported their allies. And his allies thought he’d continue that support. Then, it occurred – the opportunity to come to their aid. But he was a different type of leader. He cared more about his well-being than that of his allies. So, he abandoned them. He did that to maintain power while a secret source threatened him.

Everyone has a degree of authority. And that authority is a source of power. So, if you want to maintain yours, consider the following.

Verbal Attacks

Sometimes, non-physical attacks work – especially in the face of threats. Thus, attacks don’t have to be physical. They can be verbal, serving as a warning of the foreboding to come unless current threatening actions cease. And, over a long period, they can shape future activities, anticipation, and mindset of those whom you convey your sentiments. So, when you consider how you’ll extend and maintain power, think about how you might use even the threat of an attack, physical or non-physical, to bolster your position.

Moving Goalposts

When confronting threats, another strategy to consider is moving the goalposts. That means, when those you’re facing get closer to a goal, move it. Do that by changing the parameters that were previously set.

You can use this tactic against those that form less of a threat but with whom you wished to maintain control. You’d implement this strategy to keep the object of your actions aligned with you, but have them guessing at what you might require next. If overused, that tactic can also introduce and ignite anger. So, be careful of how and when you utilize it.

You can also implement this strategy by assembling multiple goals and allowing your associates to choose the ones to address. Later, for reasons you create, you can state that they have to alter their course and discuss new goals. You’d use this approach to buy time or to frustrate the progress they were making that was out of alignment with your goals. Either way, you’ll maintain power, while others are chasing the altering goals that you created.

Using Surrogates

Power is real to the degree it’s perceived, and how it’s adhered to by others. Thus, if someone recognizes you as being in control, in their eyes, you’re powerful. Therefore, another way to project power is to disallow others from engaging you. You’d forbid them access to you, be it in person or via any form of communication. Instead, you should have such individuals communicate through your surrogates. You want to maintain distance between you and them. That buffer allows you to remain somewhat aloof while giving you time to consider responses to potentially threatening situations. Then, when you enter into communications with them, you’ll have the opportunity to control the situation better. Your presence will suggest that something bigger is occurring.

Your Will

When considering threats to power, some people become tyrannical to protect it. They will lie, cheat, and steal to maintain control. Others will acquiesce to threats. Thus, not only should you be aware of the personality type that you’re dealing with, having that insight will help you shape your response to the threats of others.

  • Tyrants – This individual type may have a relationship with power, new or long-established, that allows him to feel special. He rides on the clouds of accolades. And his ego is pacified while being affirmed that he exalts over his followers. It can be challenging to deal with this personality type. When confronting someone possessing this characteristic, no his sources of power, and know yours. You may have to call on your power sources to prepare it to battle on your behalf. You should also be prepared to employ dirty tricks to combat his forces if you deem it necessary.

 

  • Acquiesce – Dealing with someone that acquiesces can be tricky. The trickiness lies in the speed of his actions. If he nibbles at your power, he may do so to test the possibilities for success. Thus, he will not be as bold nor engage in the tactics a tyrant would use. Nevertheless, depending on the backers of this individual, he may become emboldened to threaten your authority because he’s being egged on by others. Keep this in mind and account for it when dealing with this type of person.

Reflection

Power is fluid. And it’s ever-changing. Therefore, if you want to maintain control, you must be aware of what might alter its flow. And, you must be prepared to combat those that would take it away. To do anything other will empower others. And for them … everything will be right with the world – but not for you.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“To avoid danger, control the conversations that lead to it. And, to do that, know how to control conversations.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

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“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better”

 

Two agents were working undercover as they discussed an update with their informant. They were seated in a recessed area in an attempt to keep their conversation private and to avoid danger. They wanted to control the environment as much as possible. Suddenly, a panhandler walked over and aggressively began to ask for money. One agent said pleasantly, no. But the person persisted by asking, why not? The agent said, no, again. Still, the person continued their plea for money. Finally, the agent growled as he said in a loud voice, I said no! Stunned, the beggar turned and quickly walked away.

Potential danger always surrounds you, even during negotiations (you’re always negotiating). In some cases, you avoid it by staying outside of its bounds. At other times, you prevent it by the way you control conversations in an environment.

When the agents turned their attention back to their update, the informant asked, did you think that person was dangerous? The agent said, no. That beggar didn’t accept my answer the first few times. So, I had to alter the delivery of my words. By changing the tone of my reply and sounding more hostile, the panhandler sensed my, no, response as being more definitive. That’s why he walked away at that point.

Consider the following techniques to increase your control as you negotiate with those that might attempt to be defiant or with those that you’d like to control better.

 

Block and Bridge

Block and bridge is one way to alter the flow of a conversation. You’d implement its use as a conversation began to head in an unwanted direction – one that you feared would cause you to lose control of the discussion or interaction. You might also consider employing it when you wanted to enhance the flow of a conversation.

To invoke its use, when someone began making statements that you disagreed with, or citing accounts not aligned with where you wanted to take the conversation, block their comments. As an example, you can say, you have a point (block), and the outcome was less than expected (bridge). I suggest we take the following approach. It’s known to have better results.

The manner you block someone’s comments depends on the severity of the situation. If it’s one that might escalate to a high degree of irritation, you might consider blocking the other person’s statements with a harsh tone and words. If that’s not required, consider being milder in your intonation and demeanor.

 

Answering Questions With Questions

Answering questions with questions is an excellent way to gather more information than you give. It also allows you to control a conversation. Because the person asking questions is controlling the flow of the discussion. And that occurs as long as the other party is answering questions.

To implement this strategy, ask a question in response to one that’s asked of you. Do this instead of answering the initial query. Thus, instead of providing an answer to that question, you’d respond with one of your own.

As an example, if someone says, do I have to take this course of action? Your response might be, what do you think will happen if you don’t take this course of action? You’ve not answered the question. And if you get a response, you’ve gained more insight into the individual’s thoughts. Along with a possible solution to a situation if you choose to implement that person’s response.

 

Listening To What’s Not Said

Many people consider themselves good communicators because they pay attention to what someone says. In reality, you can be a better communicator and control conversations better by observing what’s someone doesn’t say.

As an example, if someone said, I didn’t do what you said I did. You might consider a person’s answer to mean, I didn’t do what you said I did. Yes, I did it, but not the way you stated it.

By listening for what’s not said, and the response of how something’s said, you’ll gain better insight and control of someone’s statements. You’ll also know more about how that person is communicating. And that will be worth its weight in gold.

 

Reflection  

In every environment, and every negotiation you’re in, think about how you’ll control that environment. In particular, consider how you’ll avoid dangerous situations, what form of control you’ll use, and where that might take you in your encounter. Because the better you control conversations, the more power and control you’ll have in every negotiation and situation that you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“Negotiator – Is There Hidden Power In The Inferiority Myth” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“Inferiority is a myth that can enslave your mind. But only if you allow it to do so.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Negotiator – Is There Hidden Power In The Inferiority Myth”

 

Is there a hidden power in the inferiority myth? In its purest form, it’s nothing more than a belief or disbelief that people accept or reject. The illusion exists in its ability to manipulate the thoughts of others for good or bad. Therefore, you should assess whether myths are good or bad, by the way, you and others view them. After all, they shape people’s perspectives and opinions.

You’re continuously negotiating in all of your environments. And, as a negotiator, you should use every asset that’s available to enhance your efforts. The inferiority myth is one tool you can use to do that.

The following are ways to use inferiority myths.

  • Embolden others to feel good about themselves (e.g., I don’t think you’re inferior to anyone.)

 

  • As a source of neutrality (e.g., I always found everyone in your group/area to be open, honest, and easy to deal with. And I know dealing with you will be the same way.)

 

  • Perpetrate a stereotype that reflects the negative thoughts others have of an individual or group and cast yourself on the opposite side of that paradigm – This says, I respect you. We’re looking at this from the same perspective. I’m on your side (This is the good cop in the good cop, bad cop, scenario.)

 

  • Use to cast others as being inferior to you – Note: it takes a particular mindset to accept this pronouncement. Therefore, you should be mindful of whom you attempt to project this. Some people will perceive such sentiments as being derogatory. And this my insight them to become rigid, which may lead to confrontation or hostilities.

 

  • Use to cast yourself as being inferior to others – While most individuals seek to project strength, to appear in control, there are times when a demur posture can be beneficial. Casting yourself as being inferior can help that façade. Once again, be mindful of whom you project that image. While it will allow you to maintain a better position with some people, it can be to your detriment with others.

 

  • Use to cast your target’s group as being inferior to him (e.g., Why are you with them? You’re so much better than they are.) While this may work to separate individuals in a group from the group, it may backfire (i.e., He’s like my brother. And I’m just like him and proud of it!). So be cautious about with whom you attempt this.

 

  • Project yourself as a victim of perceived inferiority to the person you’re engaged with (e.g., Are you saying that I’m inferior to you? Why would you think that and why would you feel that way?) This can be the prelude to you feigning heightened aggression or agitation. You’d use this strategy with someone respectful of your authority who you want to restrain mentally. If you attempt to implement this with more strident individuals, you run the risk of encouraging them to become obstinate. So, be cautious. You don’t want to inflame anyone’s ire. That can lead to increased tensions.

 

As in every situation you encounter, you’re negotiating. Thus, as a negotiator, you’re always setting expectations. Some people will attempt to live up to them, while others will strive to live down to them. Hence, you must be sure you set the correct expectation based on the outcome you seek.

To set better expectations based on the inferiority myth, consider the source of power confronting you. If it’s potential trouble, you may suggest that the source’s ability is inferior. If that force is more amenable to follow your commands, indicate that everyone is on the right path (e.g., people that work together create more significant outcomes).

The point is, when employing the inferiority myth, make sure it serves the overall outcome you’re attempting to achieve. Anything less will put your efforts in jeopardy. That will cause unwanted anxiety and stress, which can add to a situation’s decline. Using myths correctly can be a valuable aid, but only if you use them properly. Once you do, you’ll be able to subdue challenges that, in the past, may have gotten out of hand … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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