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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Overcome Hidden Secrets Of The Leader’s Body Language” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Secrets reveal themselves, but not until you uncover them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

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“How To Overcome Hidden Secrets Of The Leader’s Body Language”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

All leaders have secrets. And all leaders reveal their secrets through their body language. But when it comes to leaders, it may be more challenging to understand the signals they emit. That’s because some leaders are more comfortable displaying certain body language gestures. And even when they’re not as forthright as their words proclaim, they may appear so at ease that their gestures emit little insight about their secret thoughts. It’s the lack of inner emotions that can prevent their real feelings from being displayed.

Nevertheless, there are ways to discern what’s occurring in the mind of a leader. It may be a little more challenging, but you can uncover a leader’s thoughts through his body language. The following information is a road map to overcome the hidden secrets that some leaders would rather you not know.

 

Leader Types

Before assessing how to overcome a leader’s hidden secrets, you must understand the type of leader you’re evaluating. In some cases, depending on his leadership abilities, he’ll display his confidence through different body language gestures. Note the following three categories as examples.

 

  • Unsure Leader

A leader that’s unsure of himself, or the position he wishes others to adopt, may tend to make smaller body language gestures when he’s communicating. Thus, when you see such signs, consider whether the individual lacks self-confidence per what he’s saying, or if he’s attempting to conceal points that he doesn’t wish to have revealed. In either case, the reason he displays close body language gestures is due to him not feeling overly comfortable.

 

  • Leader Exploring His Power

The leader exploring his power can be one that’s acquired a new position, or someone attempting to fill the void of authority. In either case, this individual type might show broad and sweeping gestures as he initially begins to communicate. You’ll note the degree of comfortability he has with his power when someone seriously challenges him. At that point, take note as to whether his gestures become smaller and more tightly controlled. That’ll be an indication he’s attempting to protect himself – from what is the question that should come to your mind.

 

  • Confident Leader

A confident leader displays open gestures (i.e., hands apart, palms up, smiling, etc.) when delivering news he believes is right for his followers. He may even have his jacket off, or sleeves rolled up to enhance his persona. And even when he has to deliver bad news, he won’t cloak it in tightly controlled actions that make him appear different than his typical displays. His movements may become minimized to align with the circumstances at hand, but they won’t alter to the degree that you sense he’s adopted a completely different personality type. Thus, when you sense a drastic departure from his typical body language displays, that’s when you should become concerned that he might be concealing secrets.

 

Disassociated Rhythm

When people speak earnestly, they do so with their hand movements to the rhythm of their words. And since by nature, leaders are in the eyes of those they lead, they’re adept at having their words and body language gestures synchronized. Thus, when they want to make a strong point, it’ll usually be noted through the gesture of a fist pounding downward, or a pointing finger that denotes direction.

Therefore, when such signs are missing, note it. And, when a leader speaks, observe the tonality he uses when delivering his message. Words convey conviction, but it’s the emotions layered over those words that allow his commitment to be felt by those consuming his message.

 

Signs of Stress

You may recall a member of the opposing party offering a rebuttal to the State of the Union message delivered by the U.S. President. As that member was speaking, he reached for a bottle of water several times to quench and soothe his throat. Even when the water was slightly out of reach, he awkwardly extended his hand far enough to grasp the bottle. At a minimum, it appeared abnormal. And that awkward body language reaching gesture, along with others, even though this was a seasoned political professional, revealed his nervousness (e.g., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWkjVvoXIS0 ). Two giveaways made that announcement.

The first giveaway was him realizing that he should not step away as he did. The member’s attempt to maintain eye contact with the camera noted that. Thus, he attempted to retain his position while awkwardly reaching for the bottle and trying to maintain camera eye contact. He didn’t accomplish that goal, so he stepped away momentarily. That only served to enhance his anxiety.

His second giveaway was the amount of water he drank. He reached for water several times throughout his rebuttal, with each occurrence being the announcer of his discomfort.

When one’s throat becomes constricted, it’s a sign of stress – you saw that in the politician’s body language. And in that case, the water served as a soother for his throat and to ease his nervousness. Thus, observing when a leader’s throat becomes constricted is one way he discloses his nervousness. And that’s a sign worth noting to uncover the secrets that he may wish to conceal.

 

Reflection

Depending on the circumstances, all leaders conceal secrets from their followers. In some situations, concealment may be due to the time the leader needs to formulate a plan. At other times, the leader may require time to implement nefarious acts to enact against his followers. Therefore, the better you are at discerning the body language gestures a leader exhibits in different situations, the more insight you’ll have as to when he’s hiding secrets versus when he’s secretive for secret sake. In either case, you’ll have a secret gateway that reveals what’s really behind his words. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Secrets #Leaders #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Negotiations Operations Skills Women In Business

“Trust Is The Most Important Factor In A Negotiation” – Negotiation Insight

“Without trust, the factor of truth becomes inconsistent.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

“Trust Is The Most Important Factor In A Negotiation”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

As the negotiation began, it was open and respectful. The two negotiators engaged with the honest intent of reaching an outcome that both parties could embrace. In part, the interaction was calm because the two negotiators were friends, and they had a high degree of trust for one another. Little did they know, within two weeks, their deal would unravel. It would be due to a factor that would strain the negotiator’s friendship going forward. And it would raise doubts about how they could trust one another in the future. The factor that threatened their future relationship was born out of a third party’s actions. Someone that wasn’t involved in the initial negotiation. The following is how you can protect yourself from having this happen to you.

 

Memorialize Agreement

When capturing the covenant of a negotiated agreement, do it as close to the party’s settlement as possible. Even if best of friends say, “we can do this deal on a handshake,” memorialize it. At best, you’ll have an audit trail of the agreed outcome. At worse, the documentation can serve as a guide to reinitiate negotiations.

In either case, no matter with whom you negotiate, document the understanding of what the parties are to do next. The document will be your roadmap. It can also be a factor that provides insights to draw upon for your future negotiations with others.

 

Consider How Your Deal Might Unravel

Question – when do you have a problem? Answer – at the problem’s inception. Question – when does a problem’s inception occur? Answer – when you’re made aware of it.

One moment, you have a deal, and then the next moment you don’t. The best deals can fall apart when it’s time to produce the results of the agreement. And agreements are most vulnerable between the period of understanding the deliverables and delivering them. And, many factors can play a role in disrupting what the negotiators agreed upon as an outcome. Factors such as trust can wreak havoc on a negotiated transaction (i.e., I wonder if the other negotiator will deliver what we agreed, third parties, etc.)

To guard your deal against unraveling, don’t become complacent while waiting for the deliverable of the agreement to occur. If you do, you may find yourself waiting for a disaster. Be proactive by reaching out to the other party. Ask if everything is on schedule. And question if there are any negative occurrences on the horizon that might affect the deal, etc.. What you’re seeking are signs that the deal might be coming apart.

Some negotiators think you run the risk of inviting the other party to renegotiate the deal when you ask if it is still on target. But, if the agreement is in the process of failing, you’re already in a renegotiation state. You’re just not aware of it.

Don’t wait for a problem to come to you. Go to it and address it on your terms. You’ll have more leverage in doing so because you’ll have greater control of it at that time.

 

Sounds of Broken Trust

If you listen intently when a negotiator speaks, you can hear the sounds he makes as he’s breaking trust. Those sounds will be in the form of the words he uses to explain why he can no longer commit to the deal. He may say things like, “I didn’t remember agreeing to that. Or, I thought you meant something else.” Regardless of the excuse, the documented agreement can serve as a refresher of what the two of you agreed.

In the situation mentioned in the opening, the third party that injected himself into the negotiation stated that the negotiator whose side he was on didn’t recall agreeing to the covenants that were specified. With that, he pushed the talks back to the two friends. That maneuver created angst in the partner of the third party.

The person negotiating without a partner noticed the quickness with which the third party wanted to conclude the conversation with him. And that set off a silent alarm. At that point, the lone negotiator suspected his friend would be breaking the trust they’d established about their agreement. That was confirmed when his friend offered a new deal. When asked what occurred with the prior arrangement, the response was a jumble of apologies. The lone negotiator’s regret was, he wished he’d recognized the sounds of broken trust sooner. That would have given him more time to salvage a deal that had already gone astray.

 

The Price of Broken Trust

No matter your environment, be it in a negotiation or a friendly exchange of information, when there’s a trust void, caution is at hand. And when people are cautious, they’re more measured with their thoughts and actions. Plus, broken trust can belabor a future negotiation due to the negotiators wondering when the other might break trust again. Accordingly, they’ll make offers and counteroffers tenuously, which will hinder the pace of the negotiation.

Always be aware that there’s a cost when you abandon trust. The best way to address that mindfulness is to heighten your awareness about what you agree to, and being willing to live with your agreement. Trust is a precious commodity. And thus, it something to be cherished.

 

Reflection

The two friends renegotiated a new deal because the lone negotiator wanted his friend to experience the win he was seeking. But what the third party and the other negotiator didn’t realize was the lone negotiator had a factor that would test their trust in the future. He thought a win is a win until it’s no longer a win. And since he knew that you’re always negotiating, he planned to reopen the negotiation in six months. You see, when trust is orphaned, it can become adopted by the person that embraces it, which enhances that person’s appeal. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Trust #Factor #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development Women In Business

Take the Time to Do It Right: There are No Shortcuts to Success!

The Fourth Step of the Faremouth Method is “Take The Time To Do It Right.”   In times of uncertainty and change, some may feel compelled to take short cuts.  Short cuts may seem to be the easiest way to get from one point to another but there will always be a price to be paid in that process.  The fear of the unknown might lead some to sacrifice their own morality for a perceived favorable outcome but, even that, creates more fear of the truth rearing its ugly head at a later time.  The truth will be exposed when you least expect it.

 

One of the ancient teachings by Buddha emphasizes three things which cannot be long hidden – the Sun, the Moon, and the Truth.  In other words, we must always continue to uphold our integrity.  Specifically, when looking for a job in these challenging times during the pandemic, integrity and honesty are non-negotiable.

 

This brings me to a real situation that happened just the other day.  I had been on a search assignment for one of my clients that involved a very specific skill set and background.  I came upon a resume that seemed to be “right on.”  The candidate had the exact skillset and tenure that the client required.  I did a video interview, which is now replacing the in-person interview, and the candidate seemed to really resonate with all the requirements and more.  The “more” part was the interesting twist in the scenario because, as I later found out, there was for sure more to the story.

 

After my preliminary findings, I sent the resume to the client and they reviewed and decided to interview the person for this job.  I then advised the candidate of the day and time requested, etc.  He agreed, and, at that point, decided to inform me he would send me an updated resume.  Being perplexed, I asked if he had taken a very short temp job.  His response was to let me just review the resume when received.

 

Upon receiving the resume, I noticed there were some major discrepancies from the initial resume that had been submitted.  I immediately called the applicant to discuss the differences on the resume and after a back and forth discussion, he confessed the reason for expanding the truth on the resume was out of fear.  Fear of not getting an interview if his real situation was revealed.

 

Unfortunately, when then submitting the updated resume, which I felt compelled to do, the client declined to interview the candidate.  No matter what the truth is, your resume must reflect the truth. By admitting your truth or stretching it, you could eventually cost yourself the job offer and respect.

 

The unfortunate part, however, is that if he would have taken the time to do it right, and presented the situation honestly, he would have had a better opportunity to get the interview and possibly a job offer.  The choices we all have to make, whether during or in the absence of the pandemic, have to be aligned with integrity.  In fact, integrity may be more important now than ever due to the enormous competition out there.  Employers are really looking for people they can trust, rely upon, and count on in these very uncertain times.  They are looking at everything under a microscope these days.  Knowing that might inspire one to become their best self and deal with challenges of the past in a new and innovative way.  It never pays to present a work history or details as to why you left a particular employment which is inaccurate.

 

In some cases, even, if a candidate is uncertain of how to present a challenging situation in their work history, it might behoove them to get the advice of a mentor, career counselor, or friend to know how to present it in an honest and truthful way.  At the same time, a challenging situation can be presented in a way that will shed a positive light and have the common denominator of the experience be laced with honesty and integrity.

 

Personal courage is not the absence of fear.  It is the ability to put fear aside and do what is necessary.  Courage takes two forms, physical and moral.  Physical courage is overcoming fears of bodily harm which we can all relate to with Covid-19.  Moral courage is a willingness to stand firm on values, principles, and convictions and to stand up for what you believe to be right, regardless of the consequences.  Allow your own personal light and compass to always shine on the real truth of who you are rather than what you want your story to be.

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development Women In Business

Asking Better Questions to Prepare for the New Work World

Becoming our best self is a life-long process.  Sometimes that journey is filled with many twists and turns along the way.  The thought occurred to me as to how we can expand and grow after the pandemic.  So often during our life, we are ruled by a fear of failure, disappointment, facing rejection, etc.  JK Rowling once wrote something like, “you will never truly know yourself or your strength until tested by adversity.”  It is only when our lives become challenging that we see how strong we truly are.

 

As we prepare for this new journey, we find that by asking better questions now will give you the time to prepare honest responses to ensure better results as well as educate yourself to secure a better job offer in the future. The world will eventually evolve to a “new normal” and, when it does, you need to do all you can to be able to compete in this post-pandemic world.

 

In the New Work World, if you are serious about securing a job or making a career shift, you will have to “put the pedal to the metal” to be proactive and make a strong commitment to being able to stand out above the competition.  As with any great setback in life, the real winners are those who have resilience and perseverance.  You really do have choices as to how you respond and dedicate your energies to create new opportunities for yourself.

 

The new prospective employer will not tolerate why your resume has formatting issues, why your references won’t return a call, why your LinkedIn profile is not up-to-date and professional, why you have been too stressed out with fear of Covid19, family, kids, etc.  These issues and attitudes could very well cost you the job offer later.

 

Asking Better Questions might allow you to look more appealing than the candidate with more experience who DID NOT prepare.  Doing a proper evaluation of yourself will better prepare you when you are competing for the same job with others who may be more qualified than you. Employers will be looking for a candidate with that something extra as they determine the best applicant for the job.  You can turn this into a time of reinventing yourself through discovery. Discovery will come about because of your self-analysis in preparation for re-entering the New Work World.  History has shown that gain can come out of destruction. The Phoenix will rise from the ashes.  It’s important to remember that not only are you, the applicant, going through a new learning curve on how to approach securing a new job, so are companies and employers. The qualities they are seeking are also changing.

 

Some things to consider are as follows:

 

  1. Do a realistic self-analysis to document your skills and weaknesses related to your job and desire to secure a new career.  Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Do research to target a new job or industry which will perhaps be more profitable and secure than the one you currently have or came from.
  3. Contact previous bosses, if you are NOT currently unemployed, of course, to secure reference letters, inform them of a possible prospective employer calling, and expressing gratitude for them taking the time out of their day to answer any questions about your past work performance.
  4. When asked why you might have been laid off, terminated, or furloughed in this pandemic, how will you explain? Remember to express gratitude for the experience, reserve any hard feelings about the loss of your unemployment, and omit any negative talk about a particular industry, boss or co-worker.
  5. Analyze your monthly household living expenses to see if there are ways to cut back so that you are not working for just a paycheck. You want to find employment that is going to satisfy your passion and utilize your skills. It can be worth taking a step back for perhaps a giant step forward.  Have you examined your realistic worth in the current market place?
  6. Clean up ALL SOCIAL MEDIA content. This is more important than you might imagine.  Your LinkedIn profile and social media pages should be professional.  Make sure all your content does not contain anything inappropriate.
  7. Find a trusted mentor, friend, previous boss, or family member who you can lean on for support when the stress of your job search becomes overwhelming.
  8. Engage in mindfulness techniques such as YOGA, meditation, prayer, or visualization to help you get centered and calm down during this process of seeking new employment in the New Work World.
  9. Make time to exercise, relax, and involve yourself in hobbies that you might enjoy and have something fun in your life.

 

This transformational time can be used as a very important step by re-introducing ourselves to the world as our mask is removed, and we are much more in touch with who we are and what we have to offer the world to make it a better place. We are truly finding our place within that new work world and our own world as we emerge a much better version of who we had been. In the process, we may find that our new life is better than the one we left behind.

Categories
Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“This Is How To Win Comparisons In The Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“The value of what you compare lies in the value of what you’re comparing.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“This Is How To Win Comparisons In The Negotiation”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.

 

When people evaluate situations, they may not realize it, but they’re making comparisons. About that, you should raise your level of consciousness; because it’s a truism. In some instances, people compare a present situation to the ones that appear related to prior cases. At other times, they compare the current condition to the possibility of future outcomes. And that’s especially true during a negotiation. Regardless of the timeframe, when making comparisons, you’re evaluating the course of action to take. Thus, in your negotiation and other aspects of your life, when making comparisons, be aware of the impact that the following factors have on the outcome.

 

Listening

An intricate part of good communications in a negotiation, and other interactions, is the ability to listen well. To understand someone’s perspective, first, you must listen to what they say about the situation that’s before them. That’ll give you a mental picture of that person’s perception, and the opinion they have about it. That’ll also be the insight source that determines which comparisons to draw from later in the conversation.

If you’re astute, you’ll listen to the words they use to express themselves, the degree of excitement they share while doing so, and the pace at which they speak – word choice gives vision to someone’s thoughts. Thus, by being attentive to their word choices, you’ll gain a more profound sense of their emotional mind. And that’s the reason why you should listen for a deeper meaning than just the conveyance of their words. To do that, you must give that person the time and space they need to let their feelings be known, heard, and shared.

 

Tension/Apprehension

While you’re actively listening, note the comparisons someone makes while they’re speaking. In particular, observe the points about the tensions or apprehensions they’ve encountered. That’ll give you more clues about the pain they’ve experienced. Later, you’ll be able to employ that information as anchoring points of negativity or positivity during the negotiation.

Most people are moved to action by fear of loss, versus gaining something they don’t currently possess. Thus, if you hear someone speak about protecting what they have, catalog it for later use. At the appropriate time, make a comparison to a situation in which they lose something they have. Then, create a worse condition scenario than the first one. After that, offer your solution as the savior of their woes. By initially making comparisons to a bad situation and one that’s worse, your best-case offering will appear more pleasing, and more likely to be accepted.

 

Anchoring

Anchoring occurs when you set someone’s initial point of perspective. Thus, if someone said your price was too high, you might ask, compared to what? In their response would be the answer to what they were comparing your price. And there’d be gold in their reply. Because they will have given you their anchoring point about why they thought your price was high.

At that point, you’ll have a momentary advantage in the negotiation. That advantage will be in the form of thoughts, ideas, and positions from which to find a medium point. You might consider evoking some of the points you gathered while listening to the tensions and apprehensions that individual had in the past. Or, if warranted, you might instead employ something from the positive aspects of which they spoke.

The point is, you should seek to anchor that person’s perspective to the point that will best serve your purpose. In theory, that would be a position that was best for both of you. That would allow the perception of your point to become embraced as being more solvable to the challenge at hand. And that would mean your anchoring point would become accepted as an influencer to the proceeding that follows from there. Anchoring is a powerful tool when it comes to influencing someone’s views. Use it adroitly, and you’ll enhance your negotiation efforts.

 

Storytelling

The stories you tell are another factor that’ll serve as your ally when making comparisons in a negotiation. A well-told story injected into the conversation at the right time, can instantly alter someone’s position and the perspective they have about a situation. To tell a good story, consider the following components.

 

  1. When telling a person how he can acquire a goal that you see as obtainable, the story should have easily recognized components that the person perceives as being real, and not too difficult to achieve. Allow him to see himself bursting with new pride in the imagery of his new acquisition.

 

  1. Paint the mental picture you project with details you gleaned during the listening part of your interaction. Thus, if the person spoke about a dire time when he missed the chance to improve or maintain a situation, due to moving slowly, you might paint the image of someone being overly deliberate and missing an opportunity. Let him draw his conclusion between that situation and the position that he’s currently in.

 

  1. The timing and pace you tell a story will determine its impact. Therefore, to enhance the effect, recite your story’s depiction at a pace that’s easy to follow and consume. While doing so, observe the body language displayed by the person listening to it. In particular, note when they close their eyes, turn or drop their head, or show a momentary frown, as you mention what they may lose if they don’t act fast enough. The body language gestures mentioned will indicate a fear of loss. Cues such as those will announce the impact your story is having on that individual.

 

Reflection

First, realize that during your interactions with other people, you’re negotiating. And in a negotiation, you move someone’s perspective by the comparisons you make and the way you position those comparisons. Therefore, if you wish to win more negotiations when using comparisons, seek to evoke the level of emotions, positive or negative, in which you touch someone’s heart. Following these guidelines will allow you to do just that. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Comparisons #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Human Resources Marketing Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“Do You Know How To Avoid Words That Cause Conflict” – Negotiation Insight

“People walking blindly into conflict should not be surprised when they’re greeter is regret.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

 

 

“Do You Know How To Avoid Words That Cause Conflict”

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.”

 

Two friends, a man and a woman were talking about an associate’s son. The man stated that the associate’s son had four kids, of which one was not his natural child. The woman said, “you shouldn’t say that’s not his natural child. Instead, you might say, it’s his adopted child.” The man retorted, “you know what I mean when I say it’s not his natural child. And since you know what I mean, you should accept my phraseology with the intent of its meaning.”

From there, their conversation disintegrated into conflict. The two friends had had thousands of discussions in the past. But this time, the two friends would be led to conflict due to the utterance of an objectionable word.

A countless number of people are dragged into conflict every day because of the phrases and words they use. And you’re one of them. If you’d like to know what some of those phrases are and how to avoid the conflicts that are caused by the words you use, implement the following strategies. Doing so will help you avoid the conflict that certain words create.

 

Mindset

You should always be aware of someone’s mindset when conversing with them. If one’s mind is irritated from a prior situation, that irritation might seep into your conversation. And with it may come disruptive emotional baggage. Thus, while you’re engaging that person in an attempt to highlight your points, that individual may be hearing sounds of the prior conversation that wreaked havoc on them.

Remember, past interactions can evoke previous emotions in current situations. If you sense that might be the condition in your case, address it at that moment. Please don’t allow it to fester into what could become an uncontrollable arbitrage. That would serve no one’s purpose.

 

Trigger Words

Words such as, always, you should/must, ridiculous, relax, chill out, etc., can serve as words that trigger someone’s emotions such that they become defensive. And from that position, your initial conversation may become derailed as the result of you discussing that something doesn’t occur all the time. After that, the discussion could further disintegrate. It could evolve into one were people defend their word choice, rather than the topic of their conversation.

Trigger words can lead to unwanted circumstances and outcomes, which is why you should be mindful of how and when you use them. If you know certain words will trigger someone to adopt a particular mindset, and you wish to avoid it, don’t trigger them. On the other hand, if you’re aware of that fact and you intend to do so, be cautious with your efforts. Once triggered, you never know to what degree your effects may have on someone. Thus, you run the risk of losing control if things get too far out of hand.

 

Baiting

Be mindful of when someone uses certain words. They may be attempting to bait you. It’s one way someone can alter your emotions and thought process.

Baiting occurs when a person uses a word that triggers a particular emotion or reaction. Someone can do it intentionally or unintentionally. When done intentionally, there may be a hidden agenda to rile you up, or done to evoke a mindset of compliance within you. In either case, you should be aware of how someone might be triggered to act based on the word choices you invoke during an interaction with them. That’ll be the source that determines the degree that the communication is amiable or fraught with disgruntlement.

Verbal Signs

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, – I got all of that.” I’m sure you’ve heard such phrases in your conversations. They’re either signals that the listener is becoming tired of your pontifications or she’d like to speak. In either case, let her have the floor. And when you do, engage in active listening.

People make utterances to let you know that it’s time for you to move on. Pay attention to those signs. They can help you avoid the road of conflicts that come from speaking too long or using the wrong words.

Control

Depending on the environment, you can control the conflict that stems from the choice of words someone uses when they’re engaging you. If you’re in person or talking on the phone, you can abstain from participating in the conversation by leaving the environment; that would entail concluding the discussion at the point when things began to become uncontrollable. If you’re communicating via email, text messages, etc., you can respond after you’ve considered what the appropriate response should be and what reply might come from that.

The point is, realize that you have some control when conversations begin to turn sour, based on your ability to control the words that lead to conflict. Thus, be aware of your rising emotions, and those of the party with whom you’re communicating before you enact such control. But by all means, make sure you exercise restraint in such situations. The future of your relationship with the other party hangs in the balance.

Empathy

Some people think displaying empathy is a form of control. That may be true based on how someone perceives it. When attempting to alter the negative course that conflict has inflicted, empathy may be the salve that quickens the closing of that wound. But, I suggest you apply its use at the appropriate time. Because if you attempt to employ it close to an altercation, the bruised feelings that came from it may be too bear to stunt the emotional pain. Thus, if you let time elapse, the wound may be more receptive to the application of empathy. And of course, the timing depends on the situation and those involved.

Reflection

People stumble into conflicts by being unaware of the words they use and the disruptive cause their statements can have on someone’s mind. If you become more astute about your word choices, you’ll avoid the cause that ignites conflicts. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“This Is How To Bargain With Scary Negotiators” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Don’t become frightened by scary situations without knowing the source of your fear, less you be one from whom you’re hiding.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

 

 

“This Is How To Bargain With Scary Negotiators”

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating!

 

As soon as I saw him, I knew he’d be trouble. He looked like someone that could start an argument just by entering a room. He appeared smug and deadly. Without opening his mouth, I could tell he would be doubtful, degrading, demeaning, demanding, and would most likely attempt to leave me dumbfounded, and deflated. I thought, “he’s going to destroy me in the negotiation and leave me devastated.” He did appear to be devoted to being one scary negotiator. In my mind, he covered all the negative “D’s” in the dictionary. And he’d done all of that before our bargaining had begun. Have you ever had thoughts like that?

What makes a negotiator scary? To be more specific, what characteristics does he display that cause you to become afraid? And, when are you most frightened of a scary negotiator? Before you enter a negotiation, you should have those answers well in hand and dealt with effectively, so they don’t trouble you.

The following are characteristics of negotiators that you may view as scary in your negotiations. In some cases, their persona is nothing more than a façade to manipulate you into falling under their negotiation spell. Thus, when you negotiate, be prepared to deal with negotiators displaying the following traits:

 

Cheap

Some people may perceive the strict negotiator attempting to maximize his outcome as cheap, hard, or challenging. That may be due to his mannerisms, his façade, and his style of bargaining. Thus, when he haggles over the minutest of points to achieve his goal, you might be tempted to brand him as being scary. I would suggest you not apply that label because the name you assign to a person or situation classifies that entity. And that’ll influence how you act, react, and the frame of mind you place yourself in when doing so.

Instead of branding a negotiator with the moniker of cheap, view him as a person that wants the best deal he can get. Acknowledging his real trait will allow you to adopt better strategies from which to interact. Such stratagems as when you engage, to what degree you challenge him, and when you let him experience a win to feed his ego, are points you might consider. Adopting this mindset will also allow you to possess a clearer perception of the negotiator type you’re dealing with, which should reduce the impression of him being scary.

 

Lying

A lying negotiator can be one of the most challenging types of negotiators. Part of that is due to not knowing when, or if, he’ll abide by an agreement. And the other aspects of concern are his claims and the points of truthfulness he attributes to them. To that end, you may be right in your subscription to him being scary. An old cliché states, “if you lie, you’ll cheat. And if you cheat, you’ll steal.” Be mindful when dealing with this negotiator type. Even when he appears to be abiding by the covenants of an agreed negotiation, he may be scheming behind your back to take from one pocket what he’s allowed you to put into the other.

To offset this type of negotiator’s fiendish mannerisms, negotiate slowly. Insert gaps into the negotiation whereby he has to bring forth what you agreed to in the session that just ended. Only then should you proceed to the next phase of the talks. And maintain a tight rein to prevent him from wreaking havoc.

 

Lunacy

“Crazy is, as crazy does,” is a longtime phrase used to denote the actions of someone that appears mentally misaligned. That’s a long way of saying, some negotiators feign characteristics of lunacy to exact sympathy as an emotional toll. He’s trying to use empathy as a way to get you to bond with him.

Once, I was riding a subway in NY City when a disheveled man came up to me and began behaving erratically. I wasn’t sure of his intent, so I adopted his mannerisms and projected them back to him. Since I read body language, I could tell he became puzzled. He looked at me for a moment and then moved on to other people.

When dealing with negotiators portraying lunacy traits, you can act like them to see how they respond. If you sincerely believe they may not be using such mannerisms as a ploy, negotiate with a different negotiator. If that’s not an option, get them to document every aspect upon which you agree. Don’t leave any wiggle-room for future confusion.

 

Threatening

Okay, now it’s time to get scary. Some negotiators, usually bullies, will attempt to use intimidation as their tool of choice. They may imply some form of bodily discomfort will befall you. They may even suggest that a blemish may occur to your reputation or others with whom you’re involved.

Be prepared to adopt one of three possibilities when dealing with this individual.

  1. Seek to avoid him – deal with someone else.
  2. If you must engage, project a tough-guy persona – don’t appear as someone that he can easily manipulate.
  3. Call in your tough-guy group of negotiators to offset his persona. If he knows you have a crew to protect you, he’ll most likely drop his routine.

 

Vengeful

The vengeful negotiator is someone that can also be scary in your bargainings. He may attempt to sully your reputation as his way of claiming recompense for whatever purpose that motivates him. The scariest aspect of dealing with this person is, you never know when his ill deeds will haunt you.

To best deal with this individual, stay away from his wrong side. Do that by being fair, which is something you should practice in all of your negotiations. If you end up on his ‘bad list,’ seek his understanding of how you wronged him. If possible, make amends. If not, keep an eye out for the misdeeds he may attribute to you as his way of evening the score.

 

Reflection

When you bargain with a negotiator, it can be scary. But that’s true in any situation when you don’t know what motivates someone’s actions. Once you identify the source of a scary negotiator’s motivation, you can adopt strategies to best bargain with him. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Avoid These Deadly Negotiation Mistakes” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Do errant actions derive from mistaken thoughts, or does a lack of thought feed thoughtless actions? Think about the way you think.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

 

“How To Avoid These Deadly Negotiation Mistakes”

 

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating!”

 

The plan was to have one team member open the negotiation, and wear down its opposition. At some point, a hand signal would indicate when a different member would assume the leading role. This group of negotiators was going to play a version of good-cop, bad-cop. Because they’d negotiated with their counterparts in the past, and the negotiations had always been contentious. So when they planned the talks, they considered mistakes they might make, and developed alternative actions to control their concessions. They felt very confident as they entered the negotiation.

And then it happened! It occurred at the 37-minute mark in the negotiation. Their lead negotiator made a colossal mistake! He lost his composure, became irate, and missed the hand signal that was supposed to indicate a change in negotiators. Both sets of negotiators engaged in verbal altercations, which almost led to physical clashes.

It’s easy to make mistakes in a negotiation. They can occur for a multitude of reasons. Some stem from misperceived actions. But a lot emanate from what someone did not do. And those can be the trickiest of mistakes to address in a negotiation.

Guard against your negotiation from being knotted-up, by observing the following ‘nots’ – they’re not in any order of priority.


Not Realizing You’re Always Negotiating

Good negotiators know they’re always negotiating. That means they position themselves correctly to be perceived in a particular manner before the official negotiation begins. You’ll lose positioning perception if you don’t realize you’re always negotiating.


Not Planning Sufficiently For Pitfalls And Diversions

You should prepare for a negotiation to the degree you’re committed to its outcome. Thus, by not planning effectively, you’ll expose yourself to the whims of chance and luck. And that’s a recipe for a less-than-stellar result.


Not Checking/Managing Egos

Many negotiations have met their demise due to the egos of the competing negotiators. And, in some cases, the negotiators were on the same team. To safeguard your negotiation, remind everyone to keep their egos in check. And be prepared to bring them back in line before someone’s ego gets out of hand and wreaks havoc on the negotiation.


Not Knowing The Value Proposition

The value proposition a negotiator has is the perspective he brings to the table about the value of what he’s negotiating.

 

  • Not knowing your value – No matter your offerings, you should recognize how the other negotiator perceives value. Because if he’s negotiating with you, there’s a reason he’s doing so, and you should know that reason.

 

  • Not knowing the worth of your offering – Value is worth, and the perception someone assigns to worth is its value. If you don’t understand how valuable your offering is to the opposing negotiator, you could be setting yourself up for a significant loss – you’d do that by leaving more value on the table than you receive. Not only should you know the importance of what you have, but you should also be careful about who sets that value because that’ll determine its worth.

    Not Getting Researched Proof About Assumptions

An assumption is nothing more than a guess. To improve your outcomes, research your ideas. Seek to verify to what degree they’re valid. Doing so will give you leverage to refute some claims and reinforce others.


Not Considering Phases Of The Negotiation

Hopefully, you wouldn’t walk in dangerous environments without protection or support. And yet, by not considering where one phase of the negotiation leads, you could be moving into dangerous territory without protecting yourself. Moving without intent can leave you vulnerable to your negotiation counterpart. Always know the purpose of your actions, and where they may lead, when making offers and concessions during your negotiation.


Not Closing Correctly To Prevent Backdoor Escapes

Depending on its outcome, a negotiator may not like the deal. If so, he may seek ways to improve it later. That’s why you must confirm the covenants of the negotiation at its conclusion. You should also be aware of how the other negotiator appears as he’s responding to his understanding of what he and you will do next. If you sense any apprehension, address it sooner than later.


Not Recognizing Others You’re Negotiating Against

Some negotiators fall prey to the ploy of thinking they have a deal, and later discovering someone else has to make the final approval. At the beginning of your negotiation, verify that the other negotiator has the authority to conclude a deal. And inquire about those that are not at the negotiation table on whose behalf he may be negotiating. Don’t be blindsided by, ‘Oh, I forgot to tell you that I have to get approval from Miss Jones.’


Not Using Leverage Properly

Leverage gives you the ability to exact more influence in a negotiation than the capacity you possess alone. The opportunity to use it always exists. Once you identify it, to give it more potency, apply leverage when it gives you the highest return. To do otherwise is to weaken its value.


Not Projecting The Right Demeanor

When you’re negotiating, you’re role-playing. That means you should cast an effect that affects the behavior best suited for the talks. Doing so correctly enhances your negotiation efforts. To project the correct attitude, don’t under or over position yourself. Thus, the best persona should be one that assists you in reaching the goals you have for the negotiation.


Accepting A Statement/Offer And Not Assessing Its Premise

If I tell you a story, will you believe it? Your answer depends on the narrative, your belief system, and whatever additional information you choose to make your assessment. And that same thought process is what you should undergo before accepting someone’s premise as a truth. By not challenging someone’s statement, you exclude the possibility of other thoughts, offers, or solutions to a problem. Be careful of what you accept as the truth. Everything that glitters is not gold.

 

Reflection

So many mistakes can take a negotiation in the wrong direction. By observing the ‘nots’ mentioned, you can keep your negotiations from knotting up. In so doing, you’ll avoid the traps that ensnare most talks. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Beware Of The Ultimate Authority You Give To Authority” – Negotiation Insight

“Beware of the person that claims authority. For what they claim is only theirs if you grant it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert    (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

Beware Of The Ultimate Authority You Give To Authority”

 

 

People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating!

 

When does someone have power? Answer – when others relinquish it or have it taken from them.

 

I can’t ask him to increase his rate; he’s a lawyer. The doctor cast a stern look at the nurse, and the nurse sheepishly slinked away. The nurse had a humiliating feeling of belittlement, which led him to think, “I better not question the doctor again. That was very discomforting.”

How many times has someone with authority caused you discomfort? If the event envokes terrible memories, do you still have challenging times when dealing with authority figures? If so, you need to be mindful of how you interact with such people. One way to do that is to realize you have authority too. And there’s power in it.

When dealing with those that have authority, remember the following.

 

Setting The Stage

Every interaction you have with someone assists in creating the environment of your next encounter. And the more interactions you have with people possessing traits of authority, the more you’ll act the same with other individuals with similar characteristics. That’s why you should be cautious about your response to such individuals, especially if you supplicate yourself to them when negotiating.

To break a spiraling downward cycle of self-degrading, when dealing with people of authority, consider:

 

  • not supplicating yourself because of their perceived status

 

  • establish new relationships on mutual respect based on your value

 

  • Re-establish prior relations on the amount of value you’ve added to it; if need be, discuss how you may have received the low end of past deals.

 

  • highlight the benefit of longterm relations based on mutual respect

 

  • talk about the ‘value-add’ you bring to engagements and how that person’s influence will become enhanced by the outcome you assist in achieving

 

Remember, if you think you can’t challenge people with authority, you’re permitting them to continue their behavior. Thus, if you want them to alter their behavior towards you, you have to initiate that change in them. And the way you do that is by standing up for yourself.

 

Know Your Value

Before a negotiation begins, who determines the value of what the negotiation entails? And, what variables do you consider to determine an item’s value?  Do you ponder the authority someone possesses based on their credentials – the status conveyed by the letters behind their name, their degrees? If you give weight to your assessment, based on those variables, you may be needlessly heightening their credibility. Your perspective becomes worse when seeing yourself, as being incapable of refuting such individuals when negotiating.

When speaking with someone about your services or product, as long as they’re talking, they sense value. If you think, because they’re a lawyer, a doctor, or whatever, that you don’t have power in the engagement, you’re giving away power, which is a form of control. And the more control you relinquish, the higher the probability the other person will control you.

Before entering a negotiation, know the value of what you possess. If need be, be prepared to discuss how you arrived at your value proposition. But only do so, when a client or prospect is committed to addressing your value in good faith. That’s to say, don’t answer questions about how you arrived at it until the other person is committed to genuine engagement.

The point is, negotiations are about control. And the person in control is the one asking questions; that’s because receiving information can be more beneficial than giving it, depending on how you use it. Thus, you must be cautious about the information you provide, when you give it, and the timing of its release. If done too hastily, your response might become perceived as being flippant. If done with deliberation, the other person might view that as you not having much thought about it before he asked the question. Always be mindful of the degree of control you have in a negotiation. And that’s displayed through your mannerisms when asking or answering questions, along with the timing of those questions.

 

Positional Power

During a negotiation, power flows back and forth between negotiators. That means you have more power than your counterpart at certain times. It’s during those times when your influence is most substantial that you should press the other negotiator. Those opportunities may occur due to the positional power you have. And that may stem from your leverage during specific periods.

Therefore, assemble points of leverage to use during the negotiation before the talks begin. To do that, gather information about the party with whom you’ll be negotiating from your associates and his. You should look for points of information that will cause the other party angst or relief, depending on what’s called for in a situation.

An example of causing angst with a lawyer who’d reach out to you to solicit your business might be reminding him of the less-than-stellar reputation he has for not paying his invoices on time. After issuing that reminder, pause. Don’t be the first to speak. Let him experience the angst you just placed upon him. If you observe him becoming somewhat deflated, that’ll signal the momentary control he’s given you. And that will also be a point in which you’ll have authority in the negotiation. That’s the time to suggest an up-front payment for him to engage your services, which could be his beginning stage of relief.

 

Reflection

As you engage anyone with whom you initiate business opportunities, be it attorney clients, doctors, or whomever, never give unfounded authority to their status or station simply because of their perceived status. If you do, you’ll place yourself in a weak negotiation position. Always remember that you possess value when negotiating. Instead of supplicating yourself to someone with perceived authority, highlight the value-add you bring to the environment. That will strengthen your position. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Authority #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #negotiationPsychology #HowToNegotiateBetter #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Control #Conversations #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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“These Are The Deadly Body Language Signs Of Anxiety” – Negotiation Insight

“Recognizing body language signs indicating anxiety is like taking aspirins before headaches occur.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  (Click to Tweet)

 

“These Are The Deadly Body Language Signs Of Anxiety”

 

“People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.”

 

When reading body language, you must know the body language signs to observe to understand the meaning those signs convey. Without that insight, you’ll miss the full intent of the message. And that missed opportunity could have been the point to de-escalate a situation that then ignites into something more uncontrollable.

Anytime a situation becomes tense, it heightens the probability that it will escalate into dangerous territory. It’s for that reason alone that you should be aware of sharp tensions. And, while some symptoms are more meaningful than others, depending on the situation, the following are signs that indicate degrees of increased imminent danger, that can become enhanced by anxiety.

 

Clenching Fists 

When an individual begins flexing his hands into clenching fists, he is preparing for some form of battle. That battle may initially be the source of verbal escalation. Then, it may become heightened by the anxiety that’s fed by the rise in tension, which would only serve to increase the probability of it becoming dire. Thus, each time a cycle occurs, it provides the fuel to accelerate the process. If an interrupt doesn’t happen to short-circuit the process, physical violence can become the endpoint. Since this act indicates the closeness of physical danger, it’s a sign that should not go ignored. To do so could be at your peril.

 

Flexing Neck

An often-overlooked body language sign of anxiety is neck flexing. While the effort can be engaged to exercise the reduction of tension in one’s body, if the source of that tension stems from stress, the environment becomes more susceptible to escalating into threatening behavior. And that could enhance the probability that you and others could become the target of someone’s fiendish out-lashes.

When observing someone flexing their neck, recognize that act alone doesn’t indicate pending troubles. Like with body language gestures in general, to accurately assess someone’s intent, the more gestures you observe, the better the information you’ll have to obtain someone’s intentions correctly. With that insight, you’ll become better positioned to take corrective action should danger ensue.

 

Invading Personal Space

There’s a space perspective that people have to others that indicate how safe and comfortable they feel in that space. You’ll note someone’s discomfort if they back up, or use a gesture, such as extending their arm outward, to allow you to see the extended space that they’d like you to keep from them. If, after receiving a signal about the appropriate distance one would like to maintain is violated, further assessment needs to occur immediately about the violater’s intent.

Because when the vicinity of space becomes violated, the act might become perceived as a hostile gesture. And, if the anxiety of other harmful actions accompanies that gesture, a dangerous situation could be born.

Nevertheless, sometimes, people may want to be unusually close to you. In some cultures, it’s customary for people to engage one another in closer proximity than other cultures. If their closeness doesn’t cause you anxiety, let them feel comfortable by obtaining that closeness. But when it prompts uneasiness in you, say something before they have a chance to do something, that something being anything that might bring you further discomfort or harm.

 

Feet Movement/Placement

Of all the gestures that could indicate pending danger, depending on the space between you and someone else, feet placement is the one that you should initially observe. Because a person will use their feet to approach you, and the way they do so, will give you insight into the intent of their actions. Someone moving quickly towards you might be indicating that they’re happy to be in your presence. The reason for that may be what you should question. To make that assessment, you must observe other gestures. As an example, if the person has a scowl on their face and they’re slowly moving towards you, and they begin to smile as they get closer, you might interpret that action as being less threatening than someone clenching their fists as they approach you while not smiling.

Then, once someone is close to you, their feet will indicate their intention. As an example, if a person plans to exit your environment, one foot will point in the direction they plan to exit. If they intend to become more aggressive, they’ll move closer to you, and their feet may momentarily become aligned with yours. If an attack is imminent, before its occurrence, a momentary backward step may occur, followed by a thrust of energy to propel a fist, elbow, or kick. And obviously, you’ll know their intent to harm you at that instance. So, before things get to that point, pay attention to the body language that foretells its arrival.

 

Reflection

When I was a kid in early grade school, I remember playing a game called “what’s missing.” As the kids entered the classroom, the teacher had items placed throughout the room. The kids would take note of those items and their locations. After that, we closed our eyes. Then the teacher rearranged or removed some of the things. Once we could open our eyes, we had to tell the teacher what items were removed or repositioned.

I loved that game. It reminds me so much about reading body language signs. By noting what signs you saw one moment and observing how they’d changed into what they became, you can note when anxiety might be the motivator that caused that change to occur. Thus, by perceiving your environment via someone’s body language signs, you get a glimpse into the coming attractions. That means, by being observant of such actions, you’ll have more time to thwart the efforts that might lead to unwanted activities. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/