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Category: Management

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

How to Give White Flag Feedback

How to Give White Flag® Feedback

Delivering effective feedback is enormously important and enormously challenging.  I have spoken about this in my last two blogs.  I identified the three reasons why the feedback is so challenging namely the confusion between feedback and criticism, the concern about making things worse, and a lack of knowledge about how to give feedback such that the other party accepts it, learns, and applies the learning.

I also explained how we needed a tool that could make it safe to deliver and safe to accept.  I explained the importance of the White Flag® as a neutral symbol to pave the way for giving and receiving feedback in a non-threatening way.  The White Flag® is the international sign of truce.  It provides a context that allows for a free flow of information without fear of reprisal.

But how do you use the White Flag®?  What are the key steps and techniques?  Can anyone do it? The purpose here is to answer these questions and a few others.

There are three key factors that optimize the use of the White Flag® tool.  These three factors can be summarized in three words, Think-Behave-Improve.

First, to use the White Flag® properly it is most useful to think about it in the most useful way.  The purpose of the White Flag® is not to assign blame on a person. The purpose is to partner to uncover the real root causes of mistakes.  The giver and the receiver can partner to search for root causes inside the process. Those root causes can nearly always be found in the process (94% of the time according to Dr. W. Edwards Deming) and not the person. Feedback therefore is not about making someone wrong. It is about making the process right.

In order to trigger the feedback there needs to be clear expectations.  These expectations can take the form of operationalized values behaviors.  There are three categories of values behaviors namely integrity, respect, and customer focus.

These behaviors must be operationalized meaning they are observable by anyone.  By making the expectations observable anyone can decide if the expectations are being met simply by observation. If they do not observe what is expected that becomes the trigger for feedback and therefore the use of the White Flag® tool.

Once we know feedback is needed we must deliver it in a manner that optimizes learning.  We are calm.  We wait if there is too much emotion (either with us or the other person).  We ask permission to give the feedback. We share the data (what we saw or heard) and avoid opinion or judgement.  We provide clarification if necessary.   We ask questions to find the real root cause of the problem. We ask “what process is not working?”  We ask questions to identify the first 15% of that process and then we identify how to improve that first 15%. We do this in partnership not in judgement.  We do it as a team and not in isolation.

All the while we are asking these questions. We are calm.  We are inquisitive. We ask questions to learn and not to blame. We ask these questions to uncover a new action step to address the process issues.  The White Flag® is a tool to decide how to fix a process as a team.

The White Flag® is a tool that makes feedback fearless and effective.  It is simple. It’s not easy and it’s doable and necessary for learning.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

 

 

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development

Disrupting the Status Quo – Part 1

Disrupting the Status Quo

I hear the term status quo a lot, especially from thought leaders in terms of disrupting it. I agree with that sentiment so much so that disrupting the status quo was actually the tagline for my business a few years ago. So what is the status quo and why should it be disrupted? What does it really have to do with you and your business?

sta·tus quo (stādəs ˈkwō) – The current situation, the way things are now.  However in today’s context it also tends to imply a sub-optimal state of affairs. It’s the way things are in contrast to how much better things could be.

I find that most organizations can use a disruption of the status quo because things are not working as well as they could be. Whether it is improved employee engagement, increased productivity, more influence within your industry, better collaboration or improved communication, there is often at least one area that needs a good old-fashioned disruption.

A few years ago when I was consulting, I was in my last two weeks with a client that I had worked with for several years. I asked how I could best help in my last two weeks and the VP responded by saying just stick with the status quo. That was his way of telling me to just show up. He wasn’t saying it because I had not been contributing or working while there, but I read between the lines that he did not have any need for me to work on anything for him. That organization was actually the one that inspired the title of my book, The Corporate Detox.

Another status quo I’ve seen at clients over the years are meetings that start late with a majority showing up 10 minutes late and project managers recapping everything that had been missed. This was frustrating for those of us who were on time and a poor use of the organizations resources (time and money).

The status quo for an executive might be a lack of shared vision, the ball getting dropped, missed deadlines, lost opportunities, tension, lack of communication or at least meaningful communication, and/or high turnover.

Now I ask you, what is the status quo at your organization? I.e., where does your corporate culture passively settle for something you know is not as good as it should be? I want you to really think about what habits and situations are systemic within your organization. Take a minute, grab a pen, and a piece of scratch paper and write out your description of the status quo where you are right now.

The following are the high level steps it will take to disrupt the status quo:

One thing at a time

Disrupting the status quo is essentially creating change and change can be hard, especially changes to human behavior. Since you will find that most of your business problems are really people problems, the change that are you going to make is most likely around how people behave, think, and work. Since this is hard enough with one person (think of a change you tried to make for yourself,) it is that much tougher with lots of people. That is why you have to address one change or one disruption at a time. Focus time, energy and resources on one thing, do it well, then move on.

Get buy in

Have you ever tried to make a sweeping change by command? “This is how it will be from now on!” It never ends up working the way you thought it would, does it? That’s because even if you have a few amazing people who are going to follow your leadership without worrying about themselves, most people think in terms of “what’s in it for me?” and are scared of change, fearing that it will cause more trouble for them than it will solve. For people to make change they have to want to make the change. So if you want them to get on board, you have to get them to buy into the change.

Communicate status

Once you have the goal in mind, the change you are focused on and the buy-in from those involved it’s time to make sure everyone knows where they are and where they are going. This is going to take a culture of communication. This means that you as the leader are consistently communicating the progress of the change. Are things going as planned? Have you hit a roadblock? Where are you on the road? People will quickly revert back to their old ways and retract their buy in if they don’t know where they are going or where they are. It’s much easier to turn around and go back home than to continue down a dark road with no end in sight.

Stay tuned for more in this series where we will take each step highlighted above and dive deeper into the implementation of each one. If you can’t wait that long email me at sharon@c-suiteresults.com to talk more about this and start disrupting your status quo today.

 

 

 

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Management Marketing Operations Personal Development

Talk Can Be Cheap and Costly

“Sunday Negotiation Insight”

“Evaluate the mindset that gives you advice. One that’s sane or insane, may have the best of intentions, but you’ll bear the cost for following such advice.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

“Talk Can Be Cheap And Costly”

Talk is cheap and cheap talk can be costly. The costly aspect of cheap talk can come in the form of too much bluster setting the groundwork for future activities. To the degree that bluster is believed, and depending on what’s at stake, there can be a high price to pay to bring such bluster to fruition.

When you’re engaged with a prognosticator or anyone that you perceive as being overly zealous of a position and/or expected outcome, be wary. Raise your level of awareness to the possibility of being led to a place in which you do not wish to reside. By being mindful of such insights you might possibly prevent yourself from falling prey to cheap talk. Even if what someone engages in is all talk and no action, such sentiments could cost you time, money, and other assets that you might have used to progress your own agenda.

Understanding the potential cost of cheap talk can allow you to think differently per the cost you might have to incur from following someone else’s ideology. Thus, be very mindful as to the course of direction you adopt as the result of who and what you believe. If you don’t like where someone’s edicts might lead, don’t follow. By being mentally flexible, you’ll always be more adept at making course corrections … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, be careful of whose verbal elixir you consume. Instead of it making you younger, wiser, and better off, it might just increase your aging process in the form of more stress, anxiety, and a worse outcome for you. Remember, everything that glitters ain’t gold. Such is definitely the case when it comes to someone espousing words that intentionally, or unintentionally lead you upon a mental path that doesn’t serve you. Sometimes, when you stare into the abyss (i.e. become mesmerized), the abyss stares back at you (i.e. you lose your will). That may cause you to lose your control. Control yourself by controlling what you believe and the source of those beliefs.

 Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Human Resources Management Marketing Skills

Body Language – How to Better Interpret What You See

“Sometimes, the subliminal mind stores impressions of what the conscious mind is unaware of. In order to see better, look for the unseen.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert,www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

When observing your body language, do you take the time to interpret what you see? I don’t mean, if you see a cat, you recognize it as a cat and then go about addressing your next activity. What I’m referring to, especially when it comes to major decisions, is understanding how you formulate your decision based on the way you interpret what you’re seeing.

When it comes to reading body language, many experts will inform you that the eyes are the window to the soul. That’s true to a degree and not so truthful. The one consideration that has to be factored in that analysis is the interpreter. That means, per the way each of us see ourself, we see the world. Thus, if we say someone looks up and to the left, they’re recalling something that’s occurred in the past, we may be right. We could also be wrong if that person’s inclination is to look up and to the left when considering future activities. Therefore, we must know how that person uses her eyes to gain a higher level of perspective per what that person is doing at that time. That’s one aspect per how we perceive that person. The other aspect that we should consider is why we’re giving the meaning to that person’s actions (i.e. what we really saw). If you’ve observed the person’s eye movement throughout a conversation and you note that she looks up and to the left when considering future activities, you have a foundation upon which to base your assumptions. Ergo, be sure to base your perception and what you see on a firm foundation, not just conjecture. To do so otherwise could cause you to fall prey to your lying eyes attempting to convince you that you’re seeing the truth. Your eyes may not lie to you, but they can be lied to, which could place you in a quagmire.

Consider the following checklist, based on the importance of the decision.

  1. Ask why you’re interpreting what you see the way you’re interpreting it.
  2. Ask yourself what you’re not seeing or taking into account per what you’re seeing.
  3. Consider how you might alter your perspective by looking at the situation differently.
  4. Ask, if I continue to see something from the same perspective, where might it lead my thoughts.
  5. How long do I need to think about this? Should I take a break, and if so for how long before I can revisit and possibly reframe what I’m seeing.

It’s been said that seeing is believing. That’s true to some degree because to a degree we see what we expect to see; that has to do with the way our brain perceives motion, fills in voids, etc. The point is, while we believe our eyes don’t lie to us, we can believe a lie that we see. Thus, always be mindful about how you glean some clues as to what someone is thinking, based on the movement of their eyes. Eye movement is part of the puzzle. To be more exact, look for clusters of body movements (i.e. hands, head, feet, etc.) to add validity to your assessment.

The better you become at deciphering how you interpreted what your eyes see, the better you’ll be able to read body language. Then, you’ll be more certain about believing what your eyes are telling you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Is Positive Feedback Harder To Give Than Negative Feedback?

I’m sure you’re familiar with that unpleasant feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize you have to give someone negative feedback. You don’t want any drama and you try to avoid conflict, but eventually you have to find a way to tell them that the report needs to be redone, that they’ve been late for the third time, or that the promotion is being given to someone else.

While it may not be surprising that, according to a recent HBR study, 21% of people will avoid giving negative feedback to direct reports, the same study revealed that 37% of people also don’t give positive feedback!  At that point, the question becomes: Is it actually harder to give praise than critique?

The article proposes a variety of reasons why people don’t give positive feedback, ranging from being “too busy” and forgetting, to feeling like a boss should be tough, or that giving praise was a sign of weakness.

Most intriguing to me, however, was the idea that some people don’t give positive feedback because they don’t know how. So from here, let’s look at three simple strategies for giving clear and effective positive feedback.

K.I.S.S.

No, I’m not suggesting you do anything that will warrant a call from HR. You are probably familiar with the age-old acronym K.I.S.S., or “Keep It Simple, Stupid.” Praise doesn’t need to be emotional, gushy, effusive or melodramatic. People just like to know – especially from you “tough graders” out there – that they have met your standards, produced high-quality work, or been successful at completing a difficult project on time and under budget.

Simple comments like, “Thanks for getting that piece back to me so quickly,” “The layout looks terrific, nice job,” or “Looks like you got everything back up to date, much better” are all that is needed to let people know where they stand. It also provides a sense of closure, which helps keep them from worrying that there may be more bad news to come, so they can comfortably shift their full attention to the next task on the list.

Be Specific

Generic comments like “good job,” while better than nothing, don’t tell the person what it is that you like about it, and can often feel perfunctory and insincere. Whatever it is, referencing the specific effort or product helps them to understand what is most important to you and encourages them to focus future efforts on achieving similar outcomes.

Even if it is just following up on something for which you had previously given negative feedback, acknowledge that the specific problem was fixed to appropriate standards and what positive outcome it promotes, e.g., “This new layout is much cleaner, and the image really pops; the client is going to love it.”

Look in the Mirror

If you’re really stuck for how to give praise, ask yourself, if you had done that work, how would you want to be appreciated? Be the boss you wish you’d had, and offer the word of praise that would have been meaningful to you.

Don’t worry that offering praise will make it seem like you’re “going soft” or that people will slack off once they think you’re happy. On the contrary, for many people, praise is actually a motivator. Success begets success, and feelings of success beget more behaviors of success.

What’s critical to understand is that when people feel like they receive sufficient positive feedback, it makes them more open to hearing and accepting negative feedback from the same person. This is because they know that the boss is fair and clear, and that all feedback, whether positive or negative, is honest and comes from the heart.

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Do you have trouble giving feedback, whether positive or negative?  Or do you have other questions or feedback about this issue? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Management Skills Women In Business

Three Ways To Show You Believe In Others

The last person who had a stellar career without help from anyone whatsoever was … well … no one. So it makes no sense to lead as if the people around you never need help getting where they, and you, want them to go. In fact, just the opposite is true. If you want to create leaders who are Greater Than Yourself – and that should be your goal, by the way – then you need to express a deep belief in people, because none of us get very far without someone who believes in us more than we believe in ourselves.

If you struggle to believe in certain people, consider it your problem, not theirs. They were hired for a reason, so treat them like they deserve the job, address their skills gaps, and then lead them with an I-believe-in-you attitude that inspires their success. If you do this consistently over time, most people will succeed.

But how can you show people you believe in them? Glad you asked. Here are three ways:

Give Them Some Rope. Irnande Altema, who now is chief of staff for a state senator, recalls gravitating toward a supervisor early in her career because he saw her potential and gave her “several assignments so I could grow and develop.” That wasn’t always easy for Altema, but it probably wasn’t always easy for the supervisor, either.

When you believe in people, you push them out of their comfort zone even if it takes you out of yours. You give them responsibilities that stretch them, knowing that sometimes they will fail. Then you celebrate with them when they do well and support them when they struggle. And they may struggle. But if they know you believe in them, they seldom will lack for effort.

Serve Them Healthy Ego Biscuits. As a first-generation professional, Altema points out that she’s been prone to the “imposter syndrome” – the fear that you really aren’t good enough for the job you’ve been given. Her supervisor gave her regular reminders that she was “capable,” she said, but he also followed that by helping her create practical strategies to accomplish her goals. In other words, he didn’t just give her fluffy pastry compliments.

“He has more belief than I knew could exist, which makes me more diligent to not disappoint him or myself,” she said. “My confidence grows with each conversation and encouraging word he says to me. Now, I believe in me when others may not.”

Often, if we paint a portrait of who a person can become, that person will end up seeing himself or herself that way and begin to live that way. Darren Pierre said in elementary school he made low grades, was limited in his expression, and was growing up in a troubled home. Now he has a Ph.D., writes books, and gives talks frequently about the “power of speaking to a person’s potential.” Why did he make the change? Because a fourth-grade teacher believed in him and helped him see a different portrait for his life.

“What my teacher did was speak to who she knew me to be and not who I was showing up as,” Pierre said. “In doing so, she invited me and challenged me to do more, be more, and expect more of myself.”

Extend Grace but Speak the Truth. When Fred Winchar was a young manager, he recalls the power of belief expressed in one of his supervisors. Fred didn’t always handle his managerial authority well, but his supervisor never threw him under the bus.

“He ultimately would bear that responsibility to his higher ups, but he would also call me into his office and, without being a monster to me, make it very clear that my actions as a manager had a direct impact on both people and finances,” said Winchar, who now is president of Max Cash Title Loans. “He taught me how to pause. Think before I act. Take into consideration that each mistake could be an opportunity to learn. Take responsibility for my decisions. He was powerful yet not pretentious.”

If you spend much time reading or listening to self-help gurus, you’ll hear a lot about the importance of believing in yourself. And rightly so. But as an Extreme Leader, extending that belief to others is how you have the biggest impact.

 

Categories
Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

5 Elements to Improve Speed of Change

5 Elements Improve Speed in Your Organization with Self-Management

Birds flock.  Why?  They are cooperating to find food, shelter, and avoid predators more quickly and easily.  How do they flock?  Hard-wired into their brains are the principles of flying at the same average speed, distance, and direction as their closest neighbors.  The hard-wired principles enable them to behave instinctively and accomplish the three goals more quickly and easily (shelter, food, and safety).  They are a self-organizing social system.  Their success depends on the cooperation of all the birds following all the hard-wired skills.

Can an organization operate as a self-organizing and/or self-management system, and should it?  Yes! Nature holds examples of self-organizing systems (birds, bees, ants etc.) and we can also find them in our economy.  WAZE, Lyft, Uber, Wikipedia and even the internet are all examples of self-organizing and self-management systems.  Can we apply these ideas in our organizations and teams?  Just as the success for the birds depends on cooperation to follow principles, success in organizations depends on cooperation of the people.

There is an important distinction between self- management and manager-dependency. Most organizations have a manager-dependent environment.  For example, in the typical organization managers are expected to know the answers and to solve the problems. They are expected to be omniscient and omnipotent.  They are expected to provide feedback to employees to create improved performance.  That is why they are often promoted to the manager.  They once did they job and so they have all the answers.

A manager-dependent environment encourages employees wait to receive ideas for improvement from their managers before making any significant changes in performance.  There is a hesitation to try new things for fear of being criticized or evaluated by the manager.    A manager-dependent environment creates fear and therefore less innovation.  Self-Management increases employee engagement and innovation.  Employees create their own feedback mechanisms and can act autonomously.  This accelerates the decisions and therefore accelerates the ability to adapt to changes.  It improves speed.

When my daughter Emily was 12, one morning she missed her school bus.  She was very upset and came downstairs to my office crying, “Dad, I missed the bus.  Can you take me to school?”  Of course I agreed but then asked her a question, “what do you need to do to catch the bus on your own from now on?’  She looked at me in a thoroughly confused manner.  At that moment I was not sure she could think of an idea.

When she arrived home that afternoon she said, “Dad, I thought about what you asked.   If you buy me a timer I will set it 5 minutes before the bus arrives and if it goes off I will know I only have 5 minutes left.  I can then easily catch the bus.”

I told her that sounded great.  I also asked her what else she could do to be prepared in the morning.  She said she would set her books out by the front door right before bed time.  For the next 2-1/2 years she used this method and always caught the bus on time.  She self-managed her ability to catch the bus by creating and following her own process.

How to increase speed.  To become more highly competitive organizations must ask employees to make more decisions on their own.  A recent book about the virtues of talent management has just been published.  It reinforces the Jack Welch management methods.  Welch insisted on providing frequent honest feedback with complete candor.  In my experience managers don’t have that kind of time to provide frequent feedback.  They lack the time and the skills to constantly be observing employees and providing feedback.   Managers should instead rely more on employee, trust them more, and facilitate them creating their own answers to their own problems just as my daughter was able to identify a way to catch her bus.

The 5 Elements

For employees to figure out ways to self-manage their own performance, a leader can clarify and communicate the key principles that will enable all employees to self-manage.  The five principles are Vision, Mission, Values, Strategy, and an effective Leadership Theory.  The leadership theory that provides the best opportunity for self-management is Dr. W. Edwards Deming’s Theory of Profound Knowledge.

A leader’s first responsibility is to create an environment that facilitates performance improvement. Those interested in accelerating results and performance need to be courageous and trust that employees can create their own solutions.  It requires a method to create an environment of trust and self-organization through the clarity of the 5 principles.

A manager-dependent environment is slow and talent management often includes a ranking of employees, rewarding the top performers and “yanking out” the poorer performers.  This policy and practice creates unnecessary competition minimizing the opportunity for innovation.  The “birds” will not naturally cooperate in this environment.

A leader can clarify the key principles which will allow the “bird” to self-manage.  Clarifying the strategic initiatives, the vision and mission enables employees to create their own objectives and methods for performance improvement.  With autonomy comes choice.  With choice comes engagement.  With engagement comes performance.   With self-management comes speed.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

 

Categories
Best Practices Management Marketing Personal Development

What Aren’t Your Customers Telling You?

What Aren’t Your Customers Telling You

During a recent podcast, the interviewer asked me, “What is a question that other interviewers have not asked that you would like me to ask?” I’ve never been posed that question before in over 100 interviews.

The conversation was being recorded and felt pressure to answer quickly. I was unable to process the request at a conscious level. As a result, I ended up sharing something that I have only shared with a few close friends and colleagues. This shocked me.

Her question got me thinking.

Focus groups and surveys are powerful tools that innovators use to gather perspectives on their customers. Recruiters use interviews to discern more about job applicants. Friends even use a form of these to learn what other people think about them, their choices, or their personality.

Unfortunately, the way these approaches are traditionally done yields answers that are limited in value.

The reality is, people make decisions based on their subconscious beliefs, not conscious ones. And they are usually quite different. If you ask typical questions and give people time to ruminate over their responses, they will reply with what they believe to be true or what they think you want to hear. This is conscious thinking at work.

Another reason these approaches often don’t get to the heart of the matter is because the process of asking questions inadvertently “leads the witness” and biases their responses. The questions we ask impact the range of possible answers.

But what people don’t tell you may in fact be more valuable than what they tell you.

Given this, after using the approaches above, try asking one or more of the following questions:

  • What is something you are afraid to tell me?
  • What is something that you have never told anyone else that might be relevant to this conversation?
  • What is something you have not told me that you think might be valuable?
  • What is a question I did not ask that I should have asked?
  • What is a question you wish I asked that I didn’t?
  • What is something I should know that you did not tell me?
  • What is something positive (about the product, concept, idea) that you have not told me?
  • What is something negative that you have not told me?

And don’t given them a lot of time to contemplate the “right” answer. You want them to answer quickly. Gut reaction.

Make up your own questions. Of course to ask questions like these you need to create a safe environment where people feel comfortable saying what they truly believe with no repercussions.

Use these questions with everyone: prospects, clients, people who never bought from you (and might never), friends, family members, colleagues, your boss, co-workers, or anyone who might have a valuable insight to share to generate.

Ask your clients these types of questions about your services. Ask former customers questions like this about your products or the products of your competitors.

The goal of these questions is to gather insights that would not be available to you through traditional methods such as surveys and focus groups.

If done correctly, you will more than likely be unable to predict their response.

And their reply may come as a surprise to them as well – just like when I was asked one of those questions. These are the valuable responses you want obtain because it uncovers their subconscious beliefs – the beliefs that drive behaviors.

 

Categories
Best Practices Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

How to Win More Negotiations — Focus Your Thoughts


“Be leery of the man that attempts to sell you someone else’s clothes when he himself is unclothed. That’s when he may be engaged in a diversion.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert, www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

To win more negotiations, you should focus your thoughts. That’s to say, you should be very thoughtful of what you’re thinking during the negotiation, why you have such thoughts, and where those thoughts might lead. To do otherwise could mean you’re led haphazardly towards a negotiation outcome that doesn’t serve your goals of the negotiation. Observe the following to increase the focus of your thoughts in a negotiation.

Breaking News: Do you take note of how and when TV News organizations flash that moniker across/on the screen? At that moment they’re attempting to grab your attention from what you were focusing on and directing it to what they want you to focus on. In most cases, the breaking news is nothing that would really demand you lend your attention to, but they’ve captured your focus, which was their intent. If you raise your awareness to what’s being attempted by such ploys in a negotiation, you’ll focus your thoughts on not losing your focus per what’s important to your negotiation effort.

Be mindful of when timeouts are called: When timeouts are called in a negotiation, note the reason cited for the timeout and assess the reasoning validity. As an example, if you happen to be winning the negotiation or a point in that process, and the opposing negotiator asks to take a break, he could be doing so to slow your momentum, take the time to gather additional insights/thoughts, and/or to refresh himself. All such insights will give you guidance per what may be occurring in his mind, as to the reasoning he called a timeout. Thus, it may or may not behoove you to grant his request, depending on how hard you wish to push at that time and/or what your next move is intended to achieve. The point is, be aware when there’s a shift in the negotiation and what may have occurred to cause it.

Diversions – Sizzlin’ Korean BBQ: Take note of what the opposing negotiator is asking you to focus on. Question yourself, and possibly her, why she’s asking you to lend your attention to the point she’s highlighting. Note the same when you make a point and attempts are made to divert it. Ask yourself, why was my point given less credence? Why doesn’t she want to address my point and what implications does that have?

In a negotiation, the other negotiator may not tell you how to think, but he may attempt to direct your thoughts by suggesting what you should think about. In so doing, he’s controlling you and the negotiation. To the degree that you think of what you’re thinking about, why you have such thoughts and how those thoughts are aligned with the goals you seek for the negotiation, you’ll combat his efforts while promoting the outcome you seek.

By focusing on what you think about and why you have such thoughts, you’ll be in more control of the negotiation, which will allow you to win more negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development

Pursue Your Goals With Passion

The summit of Denali (formerly known as Mount McKinley) is 20,310 feet above sea level, and Werner Berger was 200 feet from the peak. Just another 20 minutes of climbing and he would cross the tallest mountain in North America off his list. The weather, however, had turned nasty. And rather than risk getting caught in a whiteout, Berger’s group turned back.

“Everybody was so disappointed for me and wondered how we could possibly quit that close,” Berger told me. “And for me, it was just a complete delight. The climb was just spectacular. I cannot even verbalize how phenomenal it was. Getting to the summit would have been nice, but it was absolutely not essential.”

Berger can teach the rest of us a great deal about pursuing goals while enjoying the experience. It’s something he learned in his business career, his work as a consultant, and, of course, while climbing mountains.

The 77-year-old would reach the summit of Denali on his third attempt and eventually become the oldest person to climb the highest mountain on all seven continents–earning him a spot in the Guinness World Records. (He also happens to be the other half of a septuagenarian power couple with super-networker, Heshie Segal, whom I wrote about in a previous column).

Berger ran a small successful business until retiring at 43, when he “really went into the dumps” for about three years because he had retired “from something” instead of “to something.” He stumbled into a fulfilling career as a consultant, but he didn’t start mountain climbing until he was 55, when he fell in love with the idea after he and his son made a trip to the base camp of Mount Everest.

What I appreciate about Berger is that he understands what he wants and why, goes after his goals with an intense passion and focus, and still enjoys the results regardless of what happens. In business, leaders too often bumble that first part, nail the second part, and totally whiff on the third. So here are some tips for conquering all three.

EMBRACE THE WHY

Many leaders are great at goal-setting, but their goals are based on the expectations of others rather than steeped in self-awareness. Berger’s leadership was enhanced when he asked and answered questions about things like his purpose, the legacy he wanted to leave, and the passions he had that he might have given up on. Berger’s understanding of his why helped him understand his strengths and limitations, while inspiring him to focus on each moment and not give up when the journey grew challenging. With the why answered, we can start pursuing that legacy or that passion, and that’s when we start climbing the metaphorical mountain.

GO TOGETHER

Mountain climbing is a team endeavor, and going through it together as a team builds empathy and trust for the long haul. In business, of course, we need the right people to support us and we need to support them. In addition to that team, we need the right guides to help along the way. This allows us to accomplish what at times are very personal goals while bonding with a community of people and creating something that goes far beyond what we set out to do on our own.

PURSUE THE GOAL WITH PASSION

Berger sets some very specific goals. In fact, right now he’s planning to scale all seven major peaks again by 2020. The goal matters, and so does our passion for the goal. You know how you can tell? Because you can’t let it go. That’s why Berger returned to Denali until he made it to the top.

RELEASE THE RESULTS

This is without a doubt the hardest thing for most leaders to do – maintain a desire to achieve a goal while at the same time allowing the journey to be something in and of itself. “The truth really is that if I had died after my first Denali climb, I would have still been a happy climber,” Berger said. “Because it was an awesome experience.” And, yet, his appreciation of the journey doesn’t make him any less competitive.

That non-attachment to the outcome frees us to live with joy in the moment. And combined with a competitive spirit, it actually gives us a better chance of achieving our goals. Why?

Because our self-absorbed ego is out of the way and we’re self-aware enough to see the big picture when the storms roll in.