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Category: Management

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Security is Not Insurance – Debunking the Myth

Since 2005 I have been in the Information Security consultant and today I consult and coach security executives on strategy, compliance, messaging, and teams, so today I am going to talk about something that is critical to any organizational leader: information security. More specifically, the myth that security equates to insurance.

Many people in the security industry have used the security analogy for a very long time to explain the importance of security to an executive or client who has said,  “Why do I need security? It’s expensive and nothing has happened to my network; my company’s data is fine.”

The response often provided has been “for the same reason you need car insurance or medical insurance, you never know when there will be a problem.” Using a real-world situation to help explain something that is not always clear makes sense, but this analogy is not correct.

The reason it’s not a good analogy is because security is not insurance. Insurance attempts to make you whole again. It is there to replace your car, rebuild your house, allow you to replace lost or stolen items, or help you regain your health. Security on the other hand does not make you whole; once your data is stolen, your network breached, or your systems locked up with Ransomware it is not security that will make you whole again. There is insurance you can purchase to use when the hacker on the other end of the phone says we want 20 Million Dollars to unlock your systems, but that really is insurance.

If we are going to use analogies, then security is your force protection, it is proactive. You know the guys (or gals) at the perimeter with the big guns that are going to keep the bad guys (or gals) out in the first place. When I used to work at the Pentagon, there were armed guards with very big guns making sure only the people with the proper access could enter the building. Then there were locked doors within the building that could only be accessed by another select group of people. That is security! We don’t call them insurance guards we call them security guards (or in this case military police).

The same is true for access to your computer systems, network, and data. Your Information Security or Cyber Security (if you are using that term) team is the armed guards; it is their responsibility to keep the bad people out, to monitor for intrusions, and to react if or when a breach is observed. If you are treating this group as insurance you are not giving them the level of importance they deserve, the funding they need, or the authority they require.

For small organizations, you might think, “Who wants my data? I’m good till we get bigger; the hackers are out there looking for the big guys to steal from.” But that is not true at all. It’s like the burglar who will just move on to the next house when they see the ADT sign in your neighbors yard. If your neighbors are the bigger companies with the fancy security and armed guards it is your network the hackers are after because they know it will be easier.

But you want to say “I don’t have anything worth taking” and that might be true at the data level, but you do have something worth taking. It is your resources, your connection to other networks, and it is the fertile playground you are giving them to practice their craft. By allowing your network to go unprotected, you are allowing hackers to practice, to find vulnerabilities they can use against other networks, and to potentially use your network to launch an attack on another organization.

I am writing this so that we can stop equating security with insurance. Stop looking at this as a cost and start looking at is as a responsibility. You are not only protecting your data, your employees, and your customers; you are also protecting other organizations by putting the guards up around yours.

If you do not have a security team or strategy, don’t worry. It’s not too late and it does not have to be scary. There are lots of great consultants out there who can help. As a 12-year veteran of the information security and compliance space,  I invite you to send me an email at sharon@c-suiteresults.com or reach out via LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/smithsharonj/ to ask any questions you might have on this topic.

 

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Growth Management Personal Development

Disrupting the Status Quo – Part 4

This is the fourth and final article in the series; Disrupting the Status Quo. We have now discussed what the status quo is and why you should disrupt it. We have also gone deeper on the first two steps you will take on your journey to disruption; one change at a time and getting buy in.

The last step, the one we will look at today is communicating status. This is going to take a culture of communication, which is something to consider before you start creating change. Actually it is something to consider regardless of whether you are creating change or running the day-to-day operations of your team or organization.

Imagine taking a road trip that was expected to take three days and not knowing until the end of the three days whether you had gone in the right direction, at the right speed, and with enough resources (gas for instance.) You need to know the status along the way and that status is communicated to you in several ways.

It is communicated through your GPS or map (if you still use one). It’s also communicated through speedometer and gas gauge. Regardless of how well you feel you planned the trip, along the way you need feedback and status in order to reach your final destination.

If you are driving this car and you were not getting this feedback how quickly would you turn around? Your people, those on your team and in your organization are driving the car in this scenario, they are the ones working towards a goal or desired outcome that you initiated. If they think they are headed for danger or don’t know where they are, it won’t take long before they turn the car around and head home for safety. That means it will not take long before you lose their buy in and they start to sabotage the plan. They want what’s safe and normal and they can only get that through communicating status.

Communicating status should be a natural part of a culture of communication. This means that you as the leader are consistently communicating with those who report to you and the entire organization. Whether you make the time to share communication with everyone or you delegate this to your direct reports, what’s important is for you to set the stage for communication and check in to make sure it is making its way down the line. Don’t assume what you tell your team is what they will pass on unless you verify it.

Trust but verify is what I learned years ago as an auditor and it’s true in any endeavor. If you don’t ensure what you said is getting passed along properly you might end up with the end of a very twisted telephone game like you played when you were a kid. The message at the beginning and the message at the end sound nothing alike.

It is your job to keep the headlights on so everyone can see where they are going, to act as the GPS letting them know they are on the right track or if there is a detour ahead, and your job to keep the resources coming (the gas tank full) and ensure they know when they are running low.

In a culture of communication, discussing status is a two way street. You must insist that you are kept abreast of what is happening. If someone sees a roadblock ahead they must make it known and a detour must be identified. If the resources are running out faster than anticipated there must be a way to let you know so you can determine if more resources are available or other ways to reach the destination. It could also be that there is a slow leak in a tire that can be patched if identified soon enough, before the tire blows and needs to be fully replaced. In other words you need to find the root cause of problems as quickly as possible to fix them before they become costly issues that delay your progress and results.

It is as vitally important that you receive this information in a timely way and create a culture where it is not only okay to provide feedback, but required. The good, the bad, and the ugly must have a way of getting back to you, and you need to have a way to communicate it out yourself. If this feels uncomfortable check out the article on Creating a Safety Zone for ideas on how to make this easier and sustainable.

If you are looking for tactics and strategy on communication, reach out to me at sharon@c-suiteresults.com. This is an area I am happy to help with and because there is more information than I couldn’t possibly convey in one article I am happy to discuss specifics with you. For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com where you will find articles, podcasts, media, and other resources to help you along your journey. I’ll keep the lights on for you.

 

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Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

5 Body Language Questions That Make You A More Awesome Negotiator

Click here to buy “Body Language Secrets”

When considering how you’ll engage in a negotiation, the questions you ask of yourself and the opposing negotiator will determine how successful you’ll be in the negotiation. The following are thought-provoking questions that will allow you to be a more awesome negotiator and enhance your thought process and abilities to win more negotiations.

1)    How difficult will it be to read the other negotiator’s body language?

In assessing the other negotiator’s body language, understand what she does in a ‘normal’ environment; this can be obtained by observing her when she’s in situations that are not stressful. Then, during the negotiation look for body language signals that are different from what you observed when she was in her ‘normal’ environment. The different displays will give you insight into how comfortable or uncomfortable she is based on what you’ve asked that puts her in that state.

2)    How will you control subliminal messaging?

Subliminal messages are thoughts or actions that you convey that move the other negotiator to adopt and action or thought that you want him to consider or engage in. To the degree you want to bond with him, you can speak at the same pace, invoke thoughts of happy times that he’s experienced in the past into the negotiation, and mirror his actions. Since people like people that are like themselves, your subliminal acts will remind him of himself, which will state to him that you’re just like he is.

3)    How will colors influence the negotiation?

Colors have a profound impact on our psyche. To the degree we’re aware of it, we’re less influenced by colors. As an example, red denotes power, passion, danger, and strength. White, in the American society, denotes purity and innocence, while blue is associated with trust, stability, and loyalty. So, if a negotiator was attired in such colors and you were not aware of the impact the colors were having on you subliminally, you might be more prone to acquiesce to concessions, due to the perceived authority you had of them at a subliminal/subconscious level.

4)    How will you shift your strategy as you read the others negotiator’s body language signals?

Body language signals can give unfettered insight into the thought process that’s occurring in the opposing negotiator’s mind. To the degree you see a frown at a particular time, him pulling away from or towards the table, all such signals are indicators as to how pleased or displeased he is with your offer/counteroffers. By observing when such occurs, you can increase or decrease the value of your offers.

5)    How can you tell when the other negotiator is lying?

Rather than seeking to discern when the other negotiator is lying, seek signs that display to what degree he’s uncomfortable. Since the body always seeks to be in a state of comfort, when it’s uncomfortable, we do such things as rub the back of our necks, fold our arms across our chest, tighten our lips, or shift our weight from one foot/leg to the other. Those body language signals are indications that the body is in a state of discomfort. To understand the meaning that it’s seeking to be comfortable again, you need to assess what you did/said, or what the other negotiator did/said, to put the body in the state of discomfort. Therein will be disclosed to what degree some form of a lie may have been told.

As you can see, the more you understand what you may encounter in a negotiation, the better prepared you’ll be. In order to be better prepared, consider reflecting on the questions above and you’ll win more of your negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

“Questions form the foundation through which we gain greater insight into the unknown.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.

www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Accountability: 3 Steps to Holding Yourself Accountable to Grow Your Influence

Click here to watch Accountability: 3 Steps to Holding Yourself Accountable to Grow Your Influence 

It’s not the skills and techniques you and your team learn that make you more influential.  It’s what you do with what you learn.

Accountability is the most difficult aspect of having influence Monday to Monday®.

This video will share with you three steps you can take today to avoid slipping into your old habits.  These three steps will keep you focused and disciplined to do the work of communicating with influence Monday to Monday® until it becomes ingrained in you. 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

The Hidden Value of Trust in Negotiations

“The Hidden Value of Trust In A Negotiation (DACA)”

When someone trusts you in a negotiation (you’re always negotiating), they’re more likely to believe what you tell them. Thus, there’s hidden value in trust when negotiating from a long-term perspective. Once trust is broken it’s difficult to regain it. Therefore, broken trust sets off negative ripples that can have unintended and unexpected consequences in the future.

Let’s look at the trust factor with DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) as an example. The kids in the DACA program were brought to the US by their parents. In most cases, they had no input as to whether they would stay where they were, or travel to the US. They instinctively trusted their parents with that decision. Then, there’s the US government.

The US government basically said, if you register for the DACA program and abide by our requirements (i.e. check in every 2 years and make payment to stay in the program, go to college, serve in the military, stay employed, pay taxes), you’ll be OK in the US.

Some registered and some didn’t. Those in the DACA program trusted the government and abided by their mandate. Then, trust was thrust out the window. Those in the DACA program cried, ‘We did what you asked of us! Why are you going back on your word? We trusted you!’ Those that did not register for the program, if not stated out loud silently thought, ‘see, I told you so; you should not have trusted them. The government can’t be trusted. Now, the information you gave them will be used against you.’ The ripple that such a message sent to non-DACA members was, stay in the shadows and let the darkness protect you.

In the eyes of those in the program, the US government went back on its word and broke the trust it had conveyed. Suffice it to say, the ripples set forth from this situation will cause the government not to be trusted in future matters by different entities. They’ll mentally relate their situation to the resemblance of the DACA plight. That means those submitting information requested by the government will be skeptical at best and cynical at worse when contemplating a course of action that they should adopt. In essence, through the loss of trust, the government has made it more difficult for others to trust it.

If I tell you the truth, will you believe what I say and trust me? If my perception of the truth is altered in the future, will I be declared a liar? If so, what will become of our future negotiation efforts? Those are questions every negotiator needs to consider before and during a negotiation. That’s the hidden force that trust has on a negotiation.

When trust is the foundation upon which a negotiation is built, the truth becomes a happier companion in the negotiation. Therefore, when the truth as one knows it shifts, the shifting of the truth can still have believability.

Change allows you to embrace new experiences, and everything changes. Thus, what’s true today may be proven not to be valid tomorrow. Nevertheless, once trust has been established and nurtured by consistency, over a period of time change can withstand the onslaught of doubt and suspension. In so doing, even when your negotiations become difficult, you’ll have less of a challenge finding a path to success, simply because you had trust adding hidden value to your negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 “Without trust, failure awaits you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert

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Growth Management Personal Development

The Demise of Truth

It’s interesting to see how the word truth has changed and fascinating to see that no one noticed. We fling the word around when we want to place credibility to what we say. We state things like “that’s the truth” when we want someone to believe what we say even though we don’t know if it is true but we want it to be. Another phrase we use is “that’s my truth,” giving us an excuse in case we are questioned and are wrong. It’s a clever way for us to convey our message instead of what’s real.

There are similarities between Webster’s definition and the one we have today. Both state that truth is the “real state of things, exactness, and a verified or indisputable fact.” The definition lets us know that truth is constant; it doesn’t change by situation or opinion. Webster even says truth is an “exact accordance with that which is, or has been, or shall be.” Truth doesn’t change.

Another definition of truth then and now is “conformity to fact or reality.” We see that truth means what is, and we are to reconcile to it no matter what we think. Sometimes the truth will be different from what we believe or what we want it to be. Conforming means to emphasize that even though we may not like the truth, it is still the truth. If that is the case, we are to comply with what is real — no swaying, no wiggle room, no changing. We have to yield to what it actually is. We can’t change it. If we do, then it isn’t the truth. Changing the truth makes it a lie.

Yet in today’s definition we give ourselves a safety net. We’ve added another definition that is not in Webster’s dictionary. The added meaning of truth is, “an obvious or accepted fact.” The word to note here is accepted. Today we are able to set truth to what we can get away with. If others also believe something to be true, then it can be true. Adding acceptable gives us the ability to change what is real. We have taken away the fact that truth can’t change, that it is indisputable. Instead we say truth can be changed provided others will accept that it is true. Something that is not true is false. The new definition gives the Self-Serving the power to change the truth, taking truth away. Completely.

If truth can be changed from what is real we have nothing to stand on. It becomes a shooting target based on what some think or on what applies at that moment. It’s impossible to follow or even hit if it keeps changing on us. Truth is needed in our world today whether it’s at work, in schools, or at home. When we are grounded on something we have a place to start and to fall back to. Without a standard, we lose the ability to live and work together.

If truth is dead all that is left is power. No longer will we be able to treat everyone the same. Those with the power will have their way. And they will. If there is no truth, everything is up for grabs.

Imagine a world where the most powerful run it. Haven’t we already seen that scenario? Gaining power would be the goal and people will do whatever they can to get it. Lie, cheat, steal, threaten, even kill. They will get away with it since there is no source to reference. Those without power will be forced to surrender to the dominant Self-Serving or else they will be totally forgotten. Since there is nothing set, new practices will pop up every day. And these practices would be allowed since there are no regulations to show us different. It’s like the saying; we have to have sadness in order to appreciate happiness. Accordingly, we must have truth in order to have justice.

Truth is fact. It cannot be changed. The truth is what is, no matter what we believe, or what we would like, or even what we think happened. We can’t have our truth, or follow a body, like a government, that interprets or believes that truth can change. Truth is the exact way it is and will stay that way. To divert from the fact, the true state, is to steer from what really happened. Anything other than the truth is false, a lie.

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Don’t Let Great Millennial Ideas Slip Through Your Fingers

An executive I know hired a young woman for his marketing department and put her to work managing some current campaigns. Then he found out 18 months later that she was a bona fide expert about marketing on social media. I mean, she practically lived on social media. She could have brought so much to her new employer from day one – yet that value went completely untapped for a year and a half.

Call that knowledge loss, call it money wasted, or call it something worse. Whatever you call it, it’s bad. How did it happen? I don’t work for that company, so I’m not sure. But it was probably because the top executives there were all baby boomers. It probably never occurred to them that a new millennial worker had ideas they needed to hear.

Is it happening in your company? Here are some steps to take to be sure you’re discovering and tapping the unique insights and skills your younger workers possess.

Strategy One: Uncover Hidden Skills during the Recruiting Process

It’s a mistake to screen job applicants by only saying, “Here’s what you’ll have to do on the job . . . can you cut it?” Ask open-ended questions instead, like, “We’re recruiting a team to market our new app – what do you think we need to do?” Or, “We are currently using the XYZ platform to track ad usage by in our franchise locations – do you know of anything better?”

To use a Zen kind of paradigm, be the student, not the teacher. The things you learn could be very valuable indeed.

Strategy Two: Invite Comments and Ideas during New Employee Training

Training is an ideal time to ask new hires important questions like, “How strong do you think our brand is” or, “Do our competitors do something better than we do?” If you ask questions like those, you let new employees know that you are a company that values honest and open input. And training is the place to do it. After an employee begins working for you, he or she may want to communicate big ideas only to a supervisor, where they can die. Or worse, he or she might never voice those big ideas at all.

Strategy Three: Have Big Delayered Meetings Where Everyone Presents Big Ideas

Get employees from all level into one room and ask them for the biggest and craziest ideas they have for improving your business. To avoid stifling the flow, just collect the ideas on a whiteboard or on sticky notes and go back to discuss them later. Those brainstorming meetings helps assure that good ideas from the ranks are heard directly by upper management, not left sitting on the desks of managers throughout your company.

Strategy Four: Get Some Reverse Mentoring Going

Reverse mentoring has become popular in many organizations. The idea usually to have an older executive mentored about technology by a younger, tech-savvy employee. I would recommend widening that lens and having millennials and other young workers keep your senior executive team up to speed on marketplace trends, products that have entered the marketplace, news about “hot” competing companies, and more. The wider you can cast your net for ideas from young employees, the more you benefit.

Strategy Five: Reward the Big Ideas and Information that Millennials Contribute

If an employee delivers a valuable piece of information to you, offer recognition, feedback, or increased responsibilities. Treat it like gold. If you don’t, that bright young mind is likely to think, “Why should I tell my company anything . . . they ignored me the last time I did.” It’s up do you to offer the recognition that keeps information flowing.

In summary . . .

Millennials have ideas, information and skills that you need. Are you listening to them? If you aren’t, let’s face it, the fault lies with you. Open the doors, let the information in, and watch your company improve in ways you could never imagine.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

The Value of Vulnerability

The Value of Vulnerability

So often when the topic is leadership, qualities like gravitas, confidence and strength are extolled as desirable and even essential. But just as important are some qualities at the other end of the spectrum. Today I’m specifically referring to vulnerability.

We’re all aware of the importance – and sometimes difficulty – of being vulnerable in our personal relationships. Without it, love and intimacy are impossible. But a certain degree of vulnerability is equally as important for development of our professional relationships as well.

I worked with a client who was told by her supervisor that she needed to let people get to know her better; that as head of the department (for quite a while already), it would help overall team chemistry and trust. For someone who was working to overcome perfectionism and fear of making any sort of public mistake, this was daunting.

“How can I open up to them? I don’t know if I can trust them to see that side of me,” she said.

I replied, “My guess is that they probably feel the same about you. But here’s the thing: When you have two people who need to feel like they receive trust (or respect) before they’re willing to give it, there’s a stalemate. Eventually, someone has to ‘blink’ first, take the chance and give the other person the opportunity to demonstrate that they are trustworthy. That starts the cycle.”

But one way or another, the beauty is that you don’t have to trust them with your deepest darkest secrets or the key to the vault. Sometimes it’s just being able to laugh at yourself, or letting them know that you’re under the weather and could use their help that day.

Last week I got a frantic email from a client asking to have a strategy call the next morning before a high-stakes meeting that had just been organized. Understanding her situation and wanting to accommodate, I told her the truth: “Tomorrow morning the only slot that’s open is 9am, but in full transparency, I’m going to be in ‘mommy mode’ at that time, since I have to take my son” (who is 1 year old) “for a checkup at 10, so the nanny won’t arrive until 11. I can’t guarantee what mood he’ll be in or how long we can speak without interruption, but if you want to give it a try, I’m game.”

“I’ll take it,” she said.

So at 9am the call comes in – we coach via FaceTime, video included – and I answer, in a t-shirt with my hair pulled back, hoping she wouldn’t be daunted by my less-than-executive appearance. “I think we’re safe – he’s in his highchair and I’m feeding him breakfast, so he’s busy and happy for a while,” I told her.

My trust in letting my client see me this way was immediately rewarded.

“Oh, is he there? Can you turn the camera? I’d love to see him.”

I turned the camera so my client was face-to-face with the big blue eyes of my son, who stared back at her, mesmerized by the face on the screen. And then this high-powered CFO of a multi-billion-dollar company did the best thing possible: she launched straight into full-scale “peek-a-boo” mode.

My son burst into giggles immediately, and after a moment or two I turned the phone back to me. She had a huge smile on her face, and said, “That was the perfect antidote to the morning I’ve already had, thank you!”

From there we shifted gears and got down to business. We had each let down our guard with and I am confident that we both feel that the mutually shared vulnerability only served to strengthen our bond, both personally and professionally.

So once in a while, take a little chance: (metaphorically) play a bit of “peek-a-boo,” and let them see you.

 ********

Do you have other questions or feedback about vulnerability and leadership? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development

Disrupting the Status Quo – Part 3

This is the third article in the series; Disrupting the Status Quo. In the first article we discussed what the status quo is and reviewed, at a high level, the four steps you will take if you chose to disrupt the status quo within your organization. In the second article we took a deeper dive into the first step on Doing One Thing at a Time.

In this article we will dive deeper on the second step of getting buy in. That means that you will get buy in from the people who will be impacted by the change. In doing this they will agree that the change is needed and be willing to participate. Without buy in it can be very difficult to create change that impacts the lives of others.

People are often afraid of the unknown and you have to be clear on why the change is important, how it will positively affect those involved, and then make it digestible. When big change happens at work the common thought is “this change might make my job obsolete.”

In order to get buy in you need to talk to those that are going to be affected by the change. Yes I said you have to talk to the people impacted and I don’t mean an email either, I mean real communication. This could be talking to a team, a department, or your entire organization in person. This is where you need to step up and lead. Talk from a place of vulnerability; let them know you know how scary change is. Let them know that you know it’s going to be hard and let them know you believe in them and are counting on them.

The more you can remove the unknown from the change the less scary it will be and the more support you will have. When people know why they are doing something, what they are working towards, and have a clear picture of what the results will look and feel like they are much more likely to work with you on making the change a reality.

On the other hand when leaders don’t communicate to everyone affected by the change, rumors start and people get scared. They will fill in the blanks with information that they feel is right even if it’s not close to the truth. That is when change is scary and when people will sabotage the efforts.

This is not a one-time conversation either. You need to continue sharing and talking with those involved, helping them keep the outcome in mind and keep their buy in solid. When things get tough it’s easy for people to forget what you said three months ago and easier for them to stop moving forward. Constant reminders on what is in it for them, why this is going to be worth it, and why you need their help will be essential to keep everyone bought into your vision. It will also help you remember why you are doing the hard work and spending money, time, and resources on the change.

Lastly on buy in, also think about how to positively reinforce the behaviors you want. People do much better when they are working towards a positive result rather than working away from pain. You get better results when people do what they are doing because they know a good feeling is at the end rather than doing what they are doing to avoid punishment.

This can be tough and you might feel like you are alone at times. This is when it is most important to have people to lean on or turn to for support. Surround yourself with positive people who want what you want and help keep you focused and accountable to the results. If you need an outside source for this you can find a coach or consultant. You can reach me at sharon@c-suiteresults.com to discuss how I work with my clients on creating change and staying accountable. I can also help with strategic messaging and a communication plan to help you get the buy in and keep the buy in you need.

 

 

 

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Best Practices Growth Management Skills

Sunday Negotiation Insight – Always Check Your Emotions

www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

“Emotions determine who you are, what you’ll engage in, and how you’ll act in such engagements. Control your emotions and you’ll control the emotions that could cause you to lose control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Always Check Your Emotions”

What motivates you? Really, what causes you to do the things you do that lead to the different moods you find yourself in? The better you are at being aware of where an emotion leads you, the better you can be at controlling it.

It’s important to understand the source of your emotions and where such can lead because you can place yourself into different emotional states, once you become mindful of the different states of emotions that you experience. As an example, pause from reading this article. Look around you once in about 20 seconds. Do so 360 degrees and note what you see. Attempt to see something that you’ve not paid that close attention to if you’re in an environment that you’re familiar with.

What did you observe that you did not notice before? How did it make you feel? If you said you had no feelings, dig deeper. You thought and felt something. If your emotional state was so slight that it didn’t register on your emotional Richter scale, you need to become more aware of your emotions. Some have gone through this exercise several times a day. In so doing they became more aware of their emotional state and the stimuli that motivated them to adopt certain actions. A higher sense of awareness per what stimulates your emotional states in doing this exercise should be your goal.

It may not be possible to be aware of your emotional state 24 hours a day, but the better you are at sensing your mood swings or other states of emotion, the more aware you’ll become of how to shape any environment you’re in; the goal is to be able to maximize your actions in that environment.

You can only control something once you become aware of its existence. Thus, to the degree you can control your emotions, you’ll be able to control more aspects of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you can experience and cause the opposing negotiator to have certain experiences based on the emotional state you’re in. If you control the emotional state, you can control the negotiation.

As you know, emotions change in the give and take that occurs in a negotiation. So, before entering into a negotiation, assess the emotions you might experience and what might motivate you to display them. Be on guard for those that might make you appear out of control. During the negotiation, be even more mindful of the emotions that can pull you off track and don’t let them do so. You’re in control of yourself and thus your emotions; control them!