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Category: Negotiations

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Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“This Is The Most Horrific Negotiation Dirty Trick Trap” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“A dirty trick becomes horrific when you’re the one trapped by it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“This Is The Most Horrific Negotiation Dirty Trick Trap”

 

When you think of a dirty trick, be it in a negotiation or other environment, what thoughts come to mind? Do the words, misleading, threatening, smearing, or deception conjure up negative images? If so, you’re not alone.

It’s not a mess, but it’ll do until the mess gets here. Those were the sentiments of someone that was going to plant a false story about an individual surreptitiously. The story was not true, but those that would hear it didn’t know that. And, by the time the truth was known, the purpose of the falsehood would have served its purpose.

It was an outright lie! And it was stated to disqualify him so a friend of the committee member could get the contract. This tactic is one of the oldest negotiation tricks and one that’s most effective. A member of a team, a surrogate, a plant, makes a statement about someone that’s not on the committee or task force, knowing their absence means the person can’t defend themselves. Harm befalls the individual the moment the lie is delivered. Because those making the assessment hears the false statement, which causes them to question an aspect of the subject of the myth – and those making the assessment have their mind swayed, altered, manipulated. Credibility about the subject’s character is cast, which is the intent of the comment. You see it in relationships, politics, and business.

In negotiations and other aspects of life, that’s a trick some people use to trap unsuspecting individuals. It’s also an underhanded method of persuasion that some devious people use to alter the perception of those with whom they’re dealing. It’s a sneaky malicious way to accomplish their goals that can leave you in a dangerous vortex of chance.

So, how might you defend yourself when you’re not sure if someone will sully your name or when it might occur? Here are a few thoughts to consider to combat it.

 

Combating Dirty Tricks

 

Projecting Consistent Persona

There’s one way to begin insulating yourself from insidious individuals that attempt to cast you into the abyss as a villain. And that’s to project an image displaying you and your demeanor as possessing a certain kind of character. By consistently projecting the same persona, when others hear negative statements about you, they’ll be more inclined to disbelieve them. And doubt will be cast upon the perpetrator that peddles such falsehoods. You will have gotten a twofer. That would be the protection of your good name and the disdain for someone that would attack you behind your back.

 

Flip The Script

If you suspect someone may attempt to torpedo you before it occurs, you may consider being proactive. Do that by letting your associates know that some people have been spreading malicious statements about you, and others may attempt to do so. Further state that you believe they’re doing that to position you in a bad light. Then, intimate that they may be doing that to enhance their situation at your expense.

With that, you will put folks on alert about negative comments made about you. And you would have positioned the perpetrator’s attempts as nothing more than a sham. So, if you become aware of others using this ploy against you, consider implementing a strategy that lets them know that you’re aware of their mischievousness. And then decide when, where, and how you’ll respond.

 

To The Dirty Trickster

 

The Truth About Lies

Lies tend to be more persuasive in moving someone’s opinion because it bombards the mind more than the truth. And those lies can shift someone’s beliefs in one unintended direction versus another. Because when someone makes a truthful statement, and others accept it as being honest, it does not call-out to someone’s dark side. Thus, a lie appears to be more sinister. It’s akin to hearing a gruesome story and being riveted by it.

While telling lies can be an effective form of persuasion, it can also be the devil’s fork upon which you become impaled. Thus, if you choose to use this form of manipulation, be mindful of the road you walk.

 

Cost Of Your Deeds

If you’re someone that dithers in dirty tricks, consider altering your posture now. Realize that one day, your dirty tricks will trap you. It’s not if, it’s when. And as history has shown time and again, the cost for exposing others to dirty trickery can be a very cumbersome cost to bear. So, before you engage in mischief, think about your future and what you may forgo for your deeds.

 

Reflection

 

People use a multitude of ways to persuade others to think a certain way about someone. They do that through the words they choose to paint the picture of a particular individual. Watch the picture they paint of you.

Whatever strategy you choose to combat those that set traps for you, consider the impact that your response will have. Reflect on who your actions may help or hurt. And remember that you’re always negotiating. Thus, this will not be the last episode you’ll encounter when someone attempts to undermine your efforts by outright lying on you.

Therefore, be sure you measure the response used to address your hidden adversary. You may confront him in the future. So, by delivering a measured response, one that’s not too harsh, but one that’s firm, you begin setting the table for the next round to come. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Trap #Tricks #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Body Language Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Your Um Is The Killer Of Your Opportunities” – Negotiation Insight

“The quickest killer of your opportunities is not representing who you are in the moment.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language expert (Click to Tweet)        Click to get the book!

 

“Your Um Is The Killer Of Your Opportunities”

 

His ums were the killer of his present and future opportunities. Are you doing that to yours?

He passed out his presentation to the 12 participants in the room. He thought this is going to be a make or break opportunity for me. If I do well, my career could take off like a rocket! And then he started.

Um, good morning. Um, thank you for allowing me to present this morning. I know, um, you’re going to find what I have to say to be, um, very interesting. And in a moment, um, I’ll begin. But first, um, I’d like to ask you a question. One attendee leaned towards another and said, when is he going to talk about what we came to hear? And if he says, um, one more time, I’m going to scream!

Not only had the presenter alienated his audience, but he’d also decreased his chances for a successful outcome. His ums, and his delay in getting to the point was a turnoff.

Are your ums and dullness killing your opportunities?

People make snap judgments about you based on how quickly you captivate them, which compresses the way you speak, the words you use, and the pace at which you deliver your words. Thus, the reception of your message, in part, depends on those variables.

So, before you attempt to implement any activity that you want others to embrace, consider the variables that will move them to adopt your position faster, versus what might cause them to hesitate. Your outcome potential will hang in the balance.

 

The pace of speaking

Be it in a negotiation (you’re always negotiating), a personal conversation with friends or a loved one, the speed at which you speak influences the perception of the listener. Thus, if you talk too fast, and the receiver of your message can’t keep up, they may become frustrated inwardly and stop listening to your message. Worse, they may stop listening to you but continue issuing body language and nonverbal signals (i.e., head nodding, grunting, etc.). In that case, they’d give the appearance that they’re attuned to what you’re saying when in reality, they will have tuned you out.

When it comes to delivering your message at some point, stop and ask the other person a question about what they’ve heard and what they understand the intent to be of your message. Do that to discern their understanding and reception of your message. But even more, monitor their emotional displays (i.e., mouth agape, widen eyes, foot movement, etc.) to assess the impact your message is having on them. And you can take note of the expressions of different people in a larger audience to make the same assessment.

The point is, to deliver a concise message, you should consider matching the pace of its delivery to the speed the receiver needs to hear it. That means you should provide it at a pace that allows them to understand and sense it at an emotional level as the result of having received and perceived it. Sometimes that’ll mean talking quickly to induce excitement, or slowing down the tempo to produce a more solemn mode.

 

Filler Words

When you use filler words (i.e., ums, you know, etc.), those words can distract the listener from the message you’re delivering. And that distraction decreases the perception of you as someone knowledgeable about what you’re saying. Note: In a negotiation, if you wish to cast yourself as someone unsure of his position as a ploy, you might use filler words and stammer to enhance the effect of the role you’re playing. If you don’t wish to project that image, eliminate the fillers.

Outcomes

Another point to consider when you’re attempting to sway someone to adopt your position is how you’ll position the result of them doing so. By painting a picture of what the outcome might be if someone does or does not embrace your perspective, you cast their thoughts into the future. That’s a distinction to be made from having them reflect on their past, which is not bad in all cases.

By having someone focus on their future, you set the expectation for things to come, while allowing them to influence that occurrence. Thus, if you wanted them to see themselves in a better position in the future, depending on the individual, you might consider painting a future scene that’s bright with happiness, excitement, and worry-free. If you wanted them to see what they might forgo as the result of not adopting your suggestion, you might consider painting a doom and gloom picture. Just be aware that people tend to move away from something quicker than they’ll move towards something. That means they’re more likely to avoid pain before they seek pleasure.

 

Implementation

Once you’ve addressed the variables mentioned, give severe and prolonged consideration to how you’ll implement your plan, strategy, request, etc. In particular, think about the timing of your implementation. Ask yourself, how might it impact or be impacted by other occurrences? Who might be most upset or pleased by your application, and what might key people do to assist or challenge it?

To have the most significant opportunity of a successful implementation, you must consider the variables that will impact its chance to achieve the outcome you’re seeking. Then, you should address the potential negative influencers that might challenge it and addressing the concerns they have in opposition. That will require modifications to your plans. But that’ll still allow you to implement them with less resistance had you not addressed those that were in opposition. And that will enhance your chance of greater success.

Reflection

There will always be variables to address to overcome obstacles that’ll stand between what you want and what you have to do to obtain what you want. The better you are at addressing those variables and aligning the forces you’ll need to aid your efforts, the faster you’ll be at implementing more of your plans, with fewer obstacles, and more allies. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Killer #Opportunities #Ums #FillerWords #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Danger Is The Cost For Crossing A Negotiation Line“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“The danger in crossing a line is ending on the wrong side.”

-Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

(Click to get the book)

 

 

“Danger Is The Cost For Crossing A Negotiation Line“

 

He stated, with a sense of exasperation, “you’re getting very close to the line! If I can’t walk away feeling like I got something out of this deal, both of us will walk away with that feeling.” With that statement, he’d tossed the gauntlet down and drew the line indicating how far the other negotiator had gone. Yes, it could have been his ploy to signal where his disdain laid per the offer made. But it was also his way of heightening the tension in the negotiation.

There’ll be times when you get caught in situations that lead to crises. Some will stem from the fostered efforts of others. That’ll be their attempt to entangle you in the trap of indecisiveness and uncertainty. If you’re fleet of mind, you’ll slip the snare and avoid a potential crisis. And here’s how to do that.

 

Using And Applying Pressure

 

When an accident victim is badly bleeding, first responders use a tourniquet to apply pressure to the wound. That’s an effort to control blood loss. If you use too little or too much force, you risk further harming the victim. And the same is true in a negotiation. You must know when to and when not to apply pressure. There are three ways to do that if you sense someone’s getting close to crossing a line.

 

  1. Time – Most people know you can use time as a form of pressure. But if you wish to use it as a deterrent to indicate someone should not cross a line, you need to have incremental line points. As an example, let’s say you extended an offer with a time deadline. Instead of stating it expires at 11:37 a.m. on Thursday, you might structure your offering to have the best deal expire on the prior Monday. You could have incremental offers between Monday and Thursday too. And at each point, the deal would become worse. In this case, your efforts would become geared to inducing this individual to act sooner than later. Because the longer inaction occurs on his behalf, the higher the cost he’ll bear. And, if he waits until Thursday to accept your offer, he will have crossed several lines, which will be the penalty he incurred for doing so.

 

  1. Scarcity Factor – Another tried-and-true inducement is the scarcity factor – only two left, 14 people are watching this item, etc. You see it in some form of your everyday activities. Its purpose is to get someone to act quickly.

Depending on your position at that point in the negotiation, you can state that you’ll wait for a better offer before doing anything. With that, you’ll be moving the line closer or pushing it off into the distance. Just be aware that there’ll be a cost for readjusting the line.

 

  1. Boogyman/Phantom – Another buyer is waiting for this. So, you’d better get it while it’s still available. This maneuver encompasses both the time and the scarcity factor. And it can be an excellent ploy to use against a less sophisticated negotiator. Before him, you’ve placed the proverbial line. But a more astute negotiator may mark you as being the one that lacks sophistication if you attempt this with him. So, assess the negotiator’s astuteness before you employ this tactic.

 

Demeanor

You must set the right tone in any interaction, less your actions set out for failure. Thus, before you set the line you’ll use to induce activity, you must consider the role and demeanor you’ll use to enhance that effort.

 

Being Too Soft (soft line) – Recall a time when you were making a purchase or selling something, and there was no pressure or rush to complete the transaction. How did you feel? If you were the seller, you might have experienced some form of angst if you wanted to complete the deal quickly. If you were the buyer and you sought to acquire the item fast, and could not do so expeditiously, you may have had the same sensation. The point is, sometimes taking a soft approach is not the right approach to use. With some people, the more time you give them to complete a transaction, the more time they’ll take, which may lead to them not adopting an action at all.

 

Pushing Too Hard (hardline) – Darn, he was pushy. That’s what someone might have said about you, or you might have said about someone you dealt with about and effort to excessively close a deal. While the soft line approach can be less daunting for some to deal with, being a hardliner can cause someone to run from you. Always know the difference between when to use one approach versus another. And that will dictate which demeanor and line you should adopt.

 

Tip – Always attempt to leave the other negotiator feeling like a winner. And, if he thinks that he slightly got an advantage due to his smarts, he’ll receive greater pleasure from the outcome. The demeanor you cast during your engagement will determine the degree he feels he’s won something, or if you gave it to him. People have a tendency not to appreciate what someone has given them as much as what they’ve achieved on their own merits. Remember that!

 

Reflection

Every day, we’re confronted by a line that serves as a boundary between what we want, what others will allow us to have, and what we’ll offer them. Once you become better at drawing a line and knowing how to maneuver someone’s perspective about the value of it, you’ll become better at achieving more significant outcomes from those with whom you engage. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Danger #Cost #Line #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiation #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“This Is What Happens When You Abuse Compliments” – Negotiation Insight

“Compliments like smiles wear off if extended too long.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

(Click to get the book)

 

“This Is What Happens When You Abuse Compliments”

“You know what he was saying, right?” “He was complimenting me,” was the response. To which the retort was, “he said, you looked interesting, as a black man in a gold Mercedes. He wasn’t complimenting you. That was mockery! What did he want from you? I’m sure he was trying to persuade you to do something.”

 

Even if unintended, compliments tend to persuade the receiver to adopt a particular view of the sender. And in most situations, that opinion tends to be favorable. Even when an insidious compliment comes from an opponent, it can shift the trajectory of the interaction. Thus, with the best of intent, if you abuse the usage of complements, they can produce more harm than good.

Here’s what to consider when complimenting someone – especially if you don’t want to incur a backlash.

 

Listening/Hearing

Listen to what you’re hearing, and for what’s not said. That means, to understand the intent of the compliment better, seek to glean insight by observing the sender’s body language and other nonverbal cues. As an example, if the praise was about you, as the black man and the gold Mercedes, you might have detected the tone of the accolade, body language gestures that accompanied it, and any statements made immediately after that. That degree of awareness would have increased your intuition from which to assess the intent and sincerity of the compliment. After that, if you thought it was a mockery, you might have pushed back on its genuineness, or sought clarification about its intent.

If you compliment someone, and you sense they misperceive it, don’t offer another one to bolster the one before it. Make your sincere intent known about the initial one you made. If you don’t do that, you’ll continue slipping down a slope that could pull you deeper into a chaotic mess of unbelievability about your future compliments.

Tip – When in question, always listen intently to how something’s said, the body gestures and sounds that accompany it, and what precedes and follows it. By doing so, you’ll be able to discern better the intent of the words spoken.

 

Abuse of Compliments

Another concern to be mindful of, as the sender or receiver of compliments, is its frequency. If you’re overly infusive with your compliments, it can make you appear as though you may be ‘sucking up’ to someone. To that end, you should understand the personality of the individual to whom you’re complimenting. Some people don’t like the attention to themselves that compliments bring.

If you’re on the receiving end of compliments, once again, understand their intent. Question their validity, what the intention is to make you feel or do, and where the sender may be going with them. While some people are genuinely pleased about an aspect of your being, which causes them to extend a compliment to you, some know how to use tributes as a sly form of manipulation. If there’s any manipulation to occur, you should be the dapifer that determines when it happens. The point is, control all attempts when someone is attempting to manipulate you!

Suffice it to say, if you compliment someone, you should know the purpose of it, and so should the person to whom you give a compliment. The assessment and balance of your interactions and relationship will hang on that scale.

 

Complimentary Points To Consider

To give a compliment that has more pizzaz, consider these factors.

  1. Make your compliments personal. The more they address specific characteristics a person possesses, the higher the chance of it having a more impactful impression.
  2. Try to avoid compliments that speaks to someone’s physical appeal. If they possess a physical trait that’s genuinely appealing, they’ve more than likely heard what you’re saying from other people, which will lessen your compliment. Instead, focus your praises on their achievements and/or something about their demeanor that’s pleasing to you.
  3. When giving a compliment, highlight someone’s strengths. While you might say, “don’t worry, you’re getting better.” An endearment such as that can ring hollow. Instead, you might say, “you have improved significantly!” That type of statement has more energy in it, and it’s more uplifting.

Reflection

When extending praise, understand your intent, which means have a purpose in mind for why you’re offering it. It’s okay to compliment someone with a sincere intent in mind. Just be sure that they perceive it as such. If you sense that they don’t, make your meaning known by stating your intention and rectifying any ambiguity. The better you become at providing perceived sincerity when complimenting someone, the more the receiver will be enriched by them. That will bode well for you, your communication abilities, and the enhancement of your persona.

It’s always nice when you can genuinely compliment someone. Delivered and perceived in the right way, both you and the other person will get a good feeling stemming from your graciousness. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#compliment #abuse #csuitenetwork #thoughtcouncil #Bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“Here’s How To Stop Biases From Killing Your Negotiation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“A bias, like a virus, can be devastating if left untreated.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

(Click to get the book)

“Here’s How To Stop Biases From Killing Your Negotiation”

 

What’s your perception of the word, bias – is it good or bad? What thoughts does that word conjure up in your mind?

He negotiated with people from all ethnic and social backgrounds. And sometimes, his efforts were thwarted at the negotiation table. There always seemed to be something he’d not considered about the personality and history of the people with whom he’d negotiated. In some cases, he realized he wasn’t negotiating with someone; instead, they were negotiating against him – there’s a mindset difference between ‘with’ versus ‘against.’

And then, one day, the thought dawned on him. I’m not considering the biases of those I’m encountering at the negotiation table. And I don’t like how I feel when I think of the word, bias. I’ll think of it as being someone’s preference in the future. With that small mental shift, from that point forward, his mentality shifted. And that allowed him to alter how he negotiated with people.

The questions for you are, what biases or thoughts do you consider before entering a negotiation? And how quickly do you adopt the appropriate mental mind-shift and strategy to match the demeanor that confronts you? The thoughts you ponder and the speed at which you do will determine how successful you are.

 

Identification

  • Identify the source of biases or the label you choose for it for yourself and those with whom you negotiate. If you don’t, you decrease the probability of addressing a situation successfully.
    • Is it from a social circle? Social circles can impact a person differently than a business or a more personal relationship. Thus, when one displays an influencing preference from their social associates, they’re also revealing a choice for wanting to be accepted by those in that environment. That’s worth noting because, once you identify someone’s number one source of motivation, you’ll have insight into how you might use that person’s preferences to advantage your position (e.g., you might cite the group’s norms, and highlight that your negotiation counterpart’s viewpoint is outside of those norms. And then you might suggest that the group would not think highly of him.) You can adopt the same strategy once you identify someone’s other sources of motivation. It’s akin to identifying their Achilles heel. Once you know what it is, all you have to do is wait for the right time to exploit it.

 

  • Is it something ingrained from childhood? When intense childhood traumas or beliefs are adopted and accepted by those whose minds are impressionable, those beliefs can leave an indelible imprint on that person’s outlook about himself and others. Thus, dealing with such an individual may require more patience and understanding, especially if that’s the cause of their interaction consternation. They may display a strong preference to an unyielding point of view that sways outside the boundaries of the norm, which can serve to highlight a furthering degree of challenges you’ll have in dealing with them.

When you encounter this individual type, if such is warranted, be patient. Let this person speak and ramble to expend his thoughts. One aspect of this personality type is, he wants you to hear him. He wants others to understand him and the way he sees his world. Once he believes you comprehend his viewpoint, he’ll be more apt to open up. It’s at that point that you’ll have the opportunity to address him, his preferences, and pointing him in the direction of your choosing.

 

  • What are his norms, and how far do they extend? Another aspect to keep in mind when dealing with someone’s bias is, what rules do they abide by, and what views do they hold as truths. While some people adhere to standards, others are constrained by them, and they rebel.

Once you’ve identified this individual’s driving source, agree with them to the point of having your agreement serve your purposes. And break with them, to shock or to display strong disagreement, when it becomes appropriate. Your efforts should be geared at bonding when possible and breaking it when necessary. You’d do that to display at one point you’ll break the bond when you perceived his views to be out of bounds. If executed stealthily, you’ll lead the other person without them realizing what’s occurred. At that point, be sure not to give the impression that you’re attempting to take advantage of him. If he senses that, all trust will be lost and you would have wasted your efforts to that point.

Name It

Biases are perceptional. Thus, you should call it for what it is. It’s crucial to identify and give extreme biases a name. That cruciality in naming it becomes heightened when dealing with people that have widely separate views about an issue. Because in a worst-case scenario, when dealing with hot button issues or other inflammatory matters, logic can step aside in someone’s mind and become replaced by raw emotions(e.g., supremacy, gender, sexual preferences, etc.). Then, reasoning becomes abandoned. And that’s the reason to get everything you’re dealing with on the table, so there’s no ambiguity.

Once again, to deal with a challenge successfully, you must know the insight of that challenge. And the person with whom you’re interacting must know that you know, and he buys into, understanding what the two of you are addressing and why. Thus, the more the two of you are viewing a situation from the same perspective, even if you don’t initially agree on the severity of how things stack up, you have a point of understanding from which to proceed.

Reflection

Anytime you deal with someone, you’re also dealing with their emotions, which stem from their biases. To better deal with them, understand the basis of their preferences and how that drives their feelings and choices. Once you do, you’ll be able to control them and the negotiation. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Click here to watch a short video on controlling emotions in a negotiation.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Do You Know How To Overcome Abusive Gauntlet Attacks” – Negotiation Insight

“You can be put upon by abusive behavior in the time it takes a snake to strike. To avert such gauntlets, know the snake you’re dealing with and where it may lay in wait for you.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

(Click to get the book)

 

“Do You Know How To Overcome Abusive Gauntlet Attacks”

 

Two people were sitting across from one another at the negotiation table.  And one said to the other as he stood to leave, that’s the best damn offer you’re going to get from me. My supporters and I will ruin you if you don’t take my deal.

Such occurrences can happen in any environment. And the gauntlet tossed before you can come in ever-increasing degrees. Some can be chilling and fraught with an abusive tinge, while others may have a tint of seduction attached to them. There are a lot of variables to consider. So, what might you do in that situation?

 

Point of Challenge

Someone has served you (i.e., offered a challenge)! Now what? How should you handle the test before you? Should you back away, readily accept it, or is there something else you might do? The answer to how you should proceed is, it depends.

When confronted with a challenge, some people shrink, and others rise to the occasion. The pending point as to the direction you choose is dependent on your personality and the form of the challenge that’s before you. Some points you might consider are:

 

Assessment

  • Ask yourself, what’s the intention of the challenger? There’s always a source of motivation behind the actions of people. Even when a person says they don’t know why they’re doing something, they’re motivated and moved to take action by some stimuli. Thus, if you can identify what that source is, you’ll have a more significant understanding of what’s motivating them to adopt the action they’re perpetrating against you.

 

  • Another question to pose is, who do the person’s actions serve, himself, or a more substantial body? An additional point to consider is what forces are behind the perpetrator’s actions against you. And assess if those actions are born out of folly, or do they possess a more sinister intent. That assessment will not only give you insight per how you might refute his actions. It’ll also indicate the forces aligned against you.

 

  • There’s something else to consider. And that is, is this person being used as a puppet by a puppeteer that wishes to remain anonymous? If so, you may have a more significant challenge than you initially assessed. If you believe that to be true, dig hard and deep to uncover who and what that source might be. You can’t determine the best action to take if you’re not aware of who or what is confronting you.

 

Possible Responses

  • Opponents’ strong points – When considering someone’s capabilities, related to them putting forth a challenge, I suggest you start by evaluating their strong points. The reasoning is, if you know the degree of their strength, you’ll have a better understanding of the resources they might marshal against you. You should consider that support, the quickness at which they can gather those forces, along with the potency of them. With that judgment completed, you’ll have greater insight per what powers you might want to assemble to combat him and his allies’.

 

  • Opponents weak points – Sometimes, a challenger will issue you a summons in an attempt to enhance his persona. It can be something akin to an attempt to dethrone the one that sits atop of the preverbal pile, you. Thus, again, you should identify the motivation that’s causing this person to engage you. You should also not dismiss that individual type out of hand. Because they can possess a hidden danger in the form of being or doing something irrational – something you don’t anticipate. And sometimes, dismissing them may be perceived as mockery, which would serve to heighten their attempts to dethrone you.

 

In either case, try not to over or underestimate the forces against you. The more accurate you are per your assessment, the higher the possibility you’ll have of competing against it successfully.

 

Response Timing

Depending on a situation, if you don’t perceive it to be dire, you can take a wait-and-see position. This approach will allow time to point the direction the challenge might take. If you adopt this strategy, be sure to monitor it regularly. You don’t want it to become dire due to your lack of attentiveness.

On the other hand, if the challenge requires an immediate response, consider where a hasty action might take you and how quickly you can marshal the forces needed to support your efforts. That means, measure how you’ll respond before doing so. Don’t initiate a massive undertaking when a smaller one might suffice.

The degree of your response will carry with it your perception of the seriousness of the gauntlet. Thus, your comeback should be one that meets your objectives without signaling any angst that might be associated with it. Too strong of a rebuttal will indicate just that, there was angst in your calculation, which might give the perpetrator more incentive to become more dogmatic with his challenges. Correctly apply the right force, and you’re more than likely to subdue his efforts without further recourse from him.

 

Reflection

Avoiding an abusive situation can be a daunting gauntlet to overcome. But, it doesn’t have to be if you adhere to the suggestions mentioned. If you choose to adopt the recommendations, you’ll increase your odds of quietly admonishing your foe without riling him or his supporters. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Expose Hidden Secrets By Reading Body Language” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Secrets can harm you. To uncover them, learn to read body language.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

“How To Expose Hidden Secrets By Reading Body Language”

 

To interpret someone’s body gestures accurately, you must understand the meaning of their movements and verbal utterances. And that’s how you expose their hidden secrets. Because reading body language is like peeping into someone’s mind, it’s a skill that enhances your negotiation efforts too. To interpret someone’s body language accurately, you should observe the following.

 

Using Power Words

You can’t make me. Oh, yes, I can. No, you can’t. You might remember hearing such words when you were a kid. During such times, when kids spoke those words, they were spurred to adopt one position versus another. And even though you’re not a kid any longer, you can still use words to motivate someone to expose themselves. But wait, you may be thinking – this is about reading body language. And you’re right, it is. You can use words, coupled with your body language gestures, to create emotional movement and displays in others. And that’s how you can unlock their hidden secrets.

Power words (e.g., I will, I’m sure, that’s right) make you appear more assured of your position, compared to assertions that project a less compelling image (e.g., maybe, I think, possibly). When you use powerful words, coupled with a decisive body language gesture and verbal signaling (i.e., leaning forward, speaking more forcibly and at a quickened pace), you promote a defiant image that signals, don’t be trivial with me – I’m on to you. That persona enhances the thought that you may know more than your target suspects. If you intentionally choose to be less challenging and decided to use less forceful words, you’d adopt a softer body language posture to affect your façade, one that was less in-your-face.

Click here to watch a brief video about Power Words.

Body Language

Inducing Fear

Think of a growling dog for a moment. Did you imagine saliva oozing out of its mouth? If you’ve ever had a bad experience with a dog that frightened you, you probably had a flashback to that experience a moment ago. How did you feel then and how do you feel right now? Did your heart rate increase then? Is it elevated right now, just thinking about the situation?

Fear shows itself through widened eyes, quick breathing, elevated perspiration. If an attempt to mask it occurs, it may also show through a change in speech pace, and more touching of one’s self. Those actions are an unconscious attempt to relieve the stress that one is experiencing.

You can induce the fear factor into a discussion by injecting an unpleasant memory into the mind of your target, and implying that you know they’re not truthful with you. To enhance your efforts, use assumptive questions (questions that suggest you know more than you’re letting on – e.g., you know I know you’re not telling me the real story – don’t you?) Lean forward as you make your pronouncement. And watch the demeanor the person adopts. Note if they appear frightened per the signs mentioned (e.g., widening of the eyes, mouth agape, clutching themselves for protection or comfort) to indicate that.

Stance/Demeanor

I’ve already mentioned a few ways you can solicit information to unlock secrets based on the posture you adopt (i.e., leaning forward, back, coupled with using the appropriate words to suit the persona you wish to project, etc.). The following are additional ways to propel your image and to unlock someone’s secrets.

Strong Image – Hands on your hips, a snarl on your face, coupled with words that are sharp, short, and poignant – This image conveys a no-nonsense stance. And it can be used when attempting to enhance the intimidation factor in someone.

 

Subdued Image – Hands spread apart, palms turned upward, a smile on your face – This persona signifies that you’re open to listening to the other person’s side of a story. Adopt this demeanor when you’ve gained the cooperation of the other party. Do it to display that you’re not out to harm him as the result of him telling you his secret.

 

Be Reflective – People unconsciously adhere to the wishes of others when they perceive their actions stemming from others that they’ve emitted. Thus, to control someone’s thought process better, mimic their movements and words to convey that the two of you are alike. Subliminally, they’ll see their reflection in you and open up. But, if after several occurrences of mimicking them, they don’t open up, stop imitating them. Instead, initiate a more doubting posture (e.g., crossing your arms, closing your hands to indicate how dire the situation is, etc.).

When that person begins to mirror your movements, start questioning them more intensely. At that point, they’ve started to follow your lead, which means they’re more susceptible to being more truthful. Be aware of the time spent in your attempts to extract someone’s secrets. That will also have an impact on their willingness to separate themselves from their secrets.

 

Micro-expressions

There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone on earth – they’re displayed approximately for one-quarter of a second. That means everyone will react the same way to the same stimuli no matter where they live in the world. Once you become astute at identifying micro-expressions, you’ll have additional insight per someone’s inner emotional state. The seven micro-expressions are.

  • Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.
  • Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before charging.
  • Disgust – This micro-expression is displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is wrinkled.
  • Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
  • Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer. You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
  • Sadness – Note sadness through drooping eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
  • Happiness – Happiness is shown through wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile, and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this gesture.

Click here to hear more about the seven micro-expressions that are generic to everyone on earth.

 

Reflection

When you’re questioning someone, their heightening degree of stress signals how close you are to exposing their secrets. Be aware of those signals. Noting them will allow you to unlock more secrets. It will also be an indicator that you’re reading their body language accurately. And everything will be right with the world.

 

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“To Confront Biases Better – Know How To Empower Truth“ – Negotiation Insight

“Before confronting someone’s biases, know the sources of their beliefs.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)  (Click to get the book)

 

 

No matter if you’re negotiating (you’re always negotiating) or in the most serene environment you can imagine, biases confront you. They appear in the form of how others treat you, think about you, and what they say to other people about you. Even if they don’t know you, sometimes they’ve prejudged you based on the biases they have about you. Thus, you should anticipate how people will engage you and how you’ll address them before entering into their domain. You should also do so during the interaction you have with them. That’s especially true when doing so may enhance or prevent opportunities that might await you. One way to do that is to empower the truth as your aide. That means confronting them with the facts of reality. But as we know, some people create alternative realities as their truth. Thus, you should also be astute about the following.

 

Freudian Slips

When people speak, their words represent the thoughts they’re having. Therefore, if someone makes a Freudian slip (e.g., I think John is great – when they meant to say Bob), the ‘slip’ discloses what was residing in their unconscious mind. And thus, their statement reveals their hidden sentiments about John, not Bob. While they may think Bob is great, too, John is more prominent in their mind. That means the person has higher thoughts about John. And that can prove to be valuable information.

So, what can you do with this information? You can silently thank that person for revealing their real sentiments, knowing that you’ve uncovered their true feelings. Or, you can ask him why he called one name when he meant another (do that while observing how he responds to your query). Note if he becomes frustrated, exasperated, or unnerved? If so, you’ve more than likely probed deeper into beliefs that he’d rather not have exposed. If you believe his bias lacks fairness, and you think it’s appropriate, confront him about it. While doing so, leave room for him to become empowered. Do that by offering him truthful information about his opinion, and back it up with proof. Then, note to what degree, if any, he alters his perspective. His response and altered disposition will lend insight into the type of mindset you’re dealing with, which will allow you to assess the degree of time you’ll exhaust in altering his views. In some cases, it’ll be better to move on. For you, per him, the opinion of the dead can’t be changed.

 

Body Language Gestures That Might Indicate Biases

While body language gestures can convey an array of sentiments, those that follow indicate a dislike for one in the presence of another.

Nose – The upturned wrinkling of one’s nose indicates that a person finds something unpleasant. If the gesture occurs when you enter that person’s environment, he’s signaling displeasure with you. And it’s most likely revealing a bias the person possesses about you.

Mouth – If you observe one corner of someone’s mouth momentarily turning upward, he’s displaying a signal of contempt. That means he’s disgusted by something he perceives about you. If it occurs multiple times when you speak or when you enter his environment, take note of the action. He may not be aware of it consciously, but he’s signaling his bias. And that’s information you can use.

Click here to watch a brief video about disgust.  

Feet – When people are in small groups, and they’re facing one another, their feet will point towards the most thought-provoking person. Not only is it a way to gain insight into whom they may admire at that time, but it also gives insight into the thoughts that others accept. And that can become a barometer as to how well your sentiments will be received. Thus, if they ignore you, the indication might be that you’re not presenting value per the discussion. It might also indicate that others don’t perceive you as being up to their level. Regardless, be mindful of what’s occurring. And, assess how you’ll use that insight to identify why others might be displaying a bias towards you.

 

While these gestures don’t necessarily have to indicate a definitive bias, they can give you insight per where one’s thought may lie about you. If you’re unsure of one’s intent, test them. Do that by observing their response to others in the environment, whom they gravitate to, and the views of those that they accept. That information will give you additional insight, which may serve as confirmation about that person’s perspective.

 

Reflection

No matter the environment, expect biases to be part of it. Thus, to help yourself, be observant about the body language of others, and adopt procedures to overcome the prejudices they may have about you. The insights mentioned will allow you to do just that.

When using these insights, know that exposing someone to the truth about their beliefs may cause them to reject you. But when confronted by practical information, unless they don’t want to accept your premise due to their biases, they will be left to look foolish. And that will leave them out of step with reality. If that’s so, it may be the best place to dispense of them – move on. Don’t waste your time with them. The people that accept your premise will be the individuals that display an open mind. They’ll also be the ones that’ll aide you most in your quest. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Negotiator – This Is How To Communicate Better Quickly” – Negotiation Insight

“To communicate better, use impactful words. People will act quicker and follow you faster.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 

“Negotiator – This Is How To Communicate Better Quickly”

 

“Come go now, and here later,” does not succinctly convey the message, “go now, and come here later.” Even though they are the same words, the intent delivered in the first message can be confusing, which can lead to misunderstandings. Thus, to improve any situation you’re in, you must communicate effectively. But what does that mean exactly?

Sometimes, people speak at, or past one another, and wonder why the intent of their message is not received. It’s usually due to a lack of clarity that contributes to that challenge. But, going forward, you can prevent that from occurring to you, and here’s how.

 

Speak the language opponents understand

Most groups have a particular jargon that’s generic to the group. It’s a way members of the group connect, distinguish themselves from other groups, and communicate with one another. And, if you don’t use their lingo, you immediately identify yourself as an outsider. And being recognized as an outsider can instantly put you at a disadvantage sometimes. At other times, it can prove to be the deciding factor for others to assemble for or forgo their support for you. Thus, to enhance situations, when it’s advantageous, sound like those you wish to follow your lead. But also be aware of when to use loftier or modest language to improve your persona. You don’t want to appear too pompous or humble. You have to exact a fine balance between those two perspectives. Therefore, you should base your word choices and how you wish others to perceive them on the actions you want them to adopt, the beliefs of the group, and how difficult it might be to have them alter their perspective.

 

Keep communications simple

Simple is as simple does. And the simplicity of something is determined by those making the assessment. Do you understand what that means? Depending on the educational level, background, or familiarity with phrases of those with whom you attempt to influence, it may behoove you to keep your communications simple. By doing that, you lower the conception level of the information, and the ease in understanding it, which makes your content easier to grasp.

But, you also have to be mindful of giving the perception that you’re dumbing-down your message. Some will perceive that as a slight or outright insult. As with most things in life, perceived balance is most often the victor. Thus, determine when simplicity or duplicity will serve your purpose best.

 

Use the opponent’s language to galvanize your supporters

You can also use the words of your opponent to influence and galvanize additional supporters to embrace your opinions and perspective. In such cases, you’d highlight his points in which others disagreed. Your efforts would become geared at positioning him in a less-than-flattering light. If your attempts to do so are successful, you’d also place him on the defensive because he’d have to defend your accusations, lest he runs the risk of being viewed even more unfavorable. While he’s doing that, he’d be less likely to attack you or your position.

To the degree your opponent’s followers see him as not being the person that leads them, you can also use his words to fracture his supporters. To enhance the process, first, note the strength of his base. Ask yourself, to what degree others are committed to following him. While some staunch supporters would go through fire for their leader, that would be the stopping point for others.

When you make that determination, assess what would need to occur to peel-off the less enthused. Then, ferment an occasion that would incite that situation. You can even dig into the archives of your opponent’s past sentiments to manufacture a condition. The point is, you can wreak havoc that leads to chaos for him. And while he’s addressing that, you can promote your perspective with less interference from him.

 

Use news and social media for credibility

There is a multitude of tools that you can use to shape the perspective of others and alter their thought process. You can use such tools to heighten the perception of your credibility while having your opponent’s credibility lowered. You can use them to better position your suggestions while having dispersions cast about his. They can also be used to create the perspective of fairness or heavy-handedness.

For that purpose, social media is an excellent tool that brings opposing positions together or disperses them. And thus, it does the same for the opinions of people. Social media can also serve as a viable tool to disseminate disinformation. So, be careful about how you use this tool. It runs a two-way thoroughfare that can end up on another unintended path. Thus, you must be very mindful of controlling your message when using it. To do that, prepare to offset a potential backlash you may encounter should others attempt to use your words against you.

 

Reflection

When seeking to improve communications, you should attempt to control the narrative. And the best way to do that is to control the message by controlling the words you use. By instituting the information outlined, you’ll enhance your efforts and increase the odds of making situations better. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Avoid Assault By Observing Aggressive Body Language” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To foretell assaults, observe someone’s body language. All insights into someone’s mind starts there.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)       (Click to get the book)

 

 

“How To Avoid Assault By Observing Aggressive Body Language”

 

One moment, he was standing there, and everything was fine. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was punched in his eye. As he winced in pain, he thought, I didn’t see that coming. His lack of focus on the changing demeanor of his assailant led him to be unprepared. And now, he was under attack.

Such assaults can occur in business settings and your personal life. And while they may not always be physical, the emotional pain caused by such attacks can still be traumatic. But there are ways you can avoid potential assault, be it verbal or physical, by observing body language that foretells aggressive behavior.

 

Facial Features

Wincing – Imagine for a moment that some form of annoyance happens to you. What’s your reaction? Depending on the stimuli you imagined, you may have swiped it away, winced at it, or made another gesture to ward it away. Wincing is one such gesture that indicates someone’s annoyance. When you see it, understand what it means and what thoughts may be occurring in the mind of the person displaying the gesture. He’s just given you a glimpse into his mind, notice it and heed the signal he’s sending. It could be the moment a situation begins to escalate to aggressiveness.

 

Eyes – When someone narrows their eyes and become fixated on you, they’re pinpointing their focus and attention. That means, in their mind, they’re dispersing outside distractions so they can lend their full attention to what’s occurring between you and them. If this happens in a situation that’s begun to become heated, interject an action to defuse it, or prepare for the festering aggression that will follow.

 

Hands

Someone’s hands can be the most reliable indicator that they’re about to become aggressive, which can then lead to an assault. If you observe someone flexing their hand(s), opening and closing it, take note of the speed at which it occurs. The faster the speed, the more aggressive will be the behavior that follows. The moment someone’s hands close into fists can indeed indicate that there may only be seconds before an attack occurs. Before that happens, take steps to escape the environment or prepare to defend yourself. An alternative is to go on the offense. That can take the form of talking the other party down or taking physical action before he initiates his. Either way, the more equipped you are for the inevitable, the better positioned you’ll be to deal with it.

 

Feet

When two people are confronting one another, and both individuals have their feet directly aligned with the other person, they are in full commitment to each other. That means, if you observe someone pointing their foot away from you after they previously had their feet aligned directly with yours, they’re in the process of disengaging. That doesn’t mean you’re out of harm’s way. They could deliver a sucker punch, physical or verbal, as they depart. So, don’t let your guard down until you’re sure of the act they intend to commit has occurred, and you know you’re safe.

Stance

Have you observed when two professional fighters are brought to the center of the ring to hear the rules before the fight confront one another? They cast a no-nonsense demeanor that’s usually accompanied by a death stare to indicate the seriousness that they’re adopting for the battle to come. To a degree, some of the posturing’s are an attempt to psychologically defuse the other fighter’s mental energy, which would cause him to doubt himself and whether he can win against such a worthy opponent.

Anytime you’re in an environment when you note such actions (i.e., someone, in your face), they’re also sending you a message. If you step back, you’re saying, take my space, and I’ll back down. If you hold your ground by not moving, you’re stating, I’m not backing down from you, nor I’m I afraid. Now, what are you going to do? Again, be prepared for what may occur next. If you’ve observed other signs of aggression, at this point, they may escalate or deescalate. Be ready in either case to take control of the situation.

Contradictions

Contradictions can lead to frustration, which can serve as a vehicle that delivers a crisis in confidence. When people become frustrated, they lose a form of rationality. That means, they can become more mentally unstable, which can lead to aggressive actions that they might not have participated in if they were in a calmer state of mind.

Always be aware of someone’s heightening level of frustration. It can be the bellwether to assault-like behavior to come. By becoming psycho astute, which means paying attention to the changing psychological mood of other people, you’ll enhance your vigilance about the mental mood shift of others before it occurs.

 

Trigger Words

Words cause reactions in people. And some words will generate more of an emotional charge than others. To that point, be aware of terms or phrases that trigger someone to adopt a negative point of view. Such as the ‘N’ word or alligator bait with some people of color, holy roller, or bible thumper for those of some religious persuasions, and Ayrab or Abbie of people from other ethnicities – all such words or phrases can lead one to adopt an unreceptive demeanor. Then, depending on that person’s temperament, it can lead to more significant hostile actions.

As the world becomes smaller through enhanced communication platforms, you should also be aware of how the same words can possess different meanings to people around the globe. In some cases, those words are the doorway to insults, while in other environments throughout the world, they may solicit a mild reproach or lightheartedness. To avoid a costly pitfall, be aware of the meaning that certain words cast.

 

Reflection

An environment can become hostile at a moment’s notice, and aggression can ensue that leads to an assault. It can do so while not sounding an alarm about the pending state of change to come. And, if you don’t heed such signs, you leave yourself open to the whims of chance, and that can lead to and leave you in an unwanted place and position.

But if you’re aware of the body language and verbal cues mentioned and you adopt controlling actions, you’ll be more aware of their pending occurrence. That will give you more time to react and control imminent assaults. To untie that knot, once you sense mental angst turning into a potential attack, initiate action. It can be in the form of taking a more forceful position (beware of escalating the situation if you do), or it can be in the way of adopting a milder demeanor (be aware of being perceived as someone weak by the other entity). The point is, take action to confront it. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

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