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“Negotiator Do You Know How To Combat And Use Manipulation” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“There’s nothing wrong with manipulation, as long as you’re the one controlling it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)  Click here to get the book

“Negotiator Do You Know How To Combat And Use Manipulation”

 

Warning: The following information will enhance your awareness of how to manipulate people. The intent is not to provide you with details for that purpose. Instead, the resulting ideas aim to allow you to protect yourself from those that would use manipulation tactics against you.

Recognizing the forces of manipulation is a necessity when dealing with people. Because, while you’re intentionally or unintentionally manipulating others, other people are manipulating you. The latter leads to the mood you adopt when interacting with people, the impact that it’ll have on future interactions with your allies and those that oppose you, and the shifting path that it might lead to per your future. Thus, you should always be mindful of the effects that manipulation will have on everyone in an environment – because future situations will be altered based on the reshaping of your current circumstances.

The following are ways to recognize when manipulation is prevalent, along with how to use and combat it.

 

  • Addressing Manipulation

 

  • Recognizing mindset – Before you can contest anything, you must be aware of what you’re confronting. You should be mindful of the potency of someone’s attempt at manipulation (i.e., weak, non-threatening, substantial, imminent threat, etc.) to assess the force you’ll need to combat it. While making that assessment, consider your current mindset, those of your challengers, and where your mental perspective will be after your response. By doing that, you’ll be adopting a long-game strategy, which will hopefully allow you to avert knee-jerk reactions to situations. Because, the latter can leave you in a position of re-action, versus being proactive and causing others to respond to your stimuli.

 

  • Priming mindset – To assist in your efforts of making others reactive to your stimuli, consider how you can shape their opinions and perspectives before they have substantial interactions with you. You can accomplish this by

 

  • being viewed as challenging the opposition that opposes your target audience

 

  • the alignments you have with other thought leaders of their ilk – those that they respect and aspire to be like

 

  • being perceived as a supporter of the efforts of those whose alignments you seek

 

The arching point is, you have to control your message and persona to be effective when combating manipulation or being manipulative.

 

  • Forms of Manipulation

 

  • Silent
    • Silent treatment – Recall the last time someone gave you the silent treatment. If it was someone of significance in your life, you probably experienced some form of dread. You may have wondered what you’d done, what might occur next, and what action you should be prepared to adopt. For sure, you went into thought mode. And that’s the effect that giving someone the silent treatment can have on your target. It can put them into a state of uncertainty. But, be aware that such treatment can also force your subject into the opposing camp to seek comfort from such treatment. So be attentive to when and how you use it.

 

  • Body language gestures that can enhance the projection of silent manipulation

 

  1. demeanor – calm acting in upsetting situations (e.g., either you or they get riled up, while the other party is calm and detached, leaving the other exasperated)
  2. display – displaying inappropriate or untimely smiles, smirks, frowns, etc., to convey a sense of foreboding or intimidation
  3. spatial – occupying someone’s personal space to make them experience uneasiness

 

  • Social proof – Seek to have positive aspects about yourself, your position, and your perspective in environments that your target frequents. That will shape how they perceive you and your actions, which is to imply that they’ll be more amenable to following your leads.

 

  • Guilt – Seek to make the subject feel guilty. Accomplish this by having your target’s peers side with your opinions. The silent message becomes something must be wrong with you (i.e., the target). Only the uninformed have such beliefs.

 

 

  • Verbal

 

  • Flattery – When people sense sincere flattery from you for them, it creates an attraction in you from them. To enhance your manipulation efforts, compliment others for an achievement or accomplishment that they’ve made and do so in the manner that suits their personality. While some individuals seek praise in front of others, some prefer more subtle acknowledgments. Know the form that best fits the target you’re bestowing adoration upon to maximize its effect.

 

  • Coercion – When you’re in a position of authority or supremacy over someone, it can be easy to coerce them to bend to your will. The challenge becomes, if you make someone engage in actions by that means, they may hold grudges against you, and seek ways to ‘even the score’ at a later date. Thus, you will have created a future problem for yourself. If you feel compelled to coerce someone into acts that they’d rather avoid, understand the potential ramifications of your actions.

 

  • Recognizing And Using Silent Forms of Manipulation

 

  • Gradual movements – Move gradually; it attracts less attention. It’s easy to become susceptible to being manipulated. That’s especially true when it occurs over an extended interval of time. During such times of the manipulation’s effects, you and your environment become normalized. That means you accept what transpires in your environment as being ordinary. You perceive manipulative occurrences as being non-threatening. Thus, you become numb to the travails that manipulation may thrust upon you, while you sit calmly and not adopt actions to protect yourself.

 

  • Employment – To combat the protracted form of this manipulation, be observant about the day-to-day occurrence that suggests you alter your opinion about a matter. And if you wish to use this form against others, distract them from paying attention, while you employ your manipulative actions.

 

Reflection

To combat any form of manipulation, you have to be aware of its presence, the structure it exists in, and the intent that it makes to alter the current situation or environment. By identifying those factors, you’ll have a better position to manage the environment you’re in and use the effects of manipulation to your advantage.

Keep in mind that people don’t like the sensation of being manipulated if it’s to their detriment – but they don’t mind when it’s to their advantage. Thus, to enhance your efforts to manipulate others, have them perceive your actions as being favorable to them. Do that while being mindful to ward-off the efforts of those that would manipulate you to your disadvantage. And everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Negotiator – Motivating People Can Be Easy – Just Give Them Hope“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Motivating people is easy. Just infuse them with hope, and give them the tools to believe in themselves. Then, provide support by showing them how to use those tools. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“Negotiator – Motivating People Can Be Easy – Just Give Them Hope“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

When implementing policy, strategy, or procedures that you want people to adopt, you must motivate them. You can accomplish that by giving them hope that your request is in their best interest. If you don’t, or they don’t see value in following your proposition, motivating them will be daunting, if at all possible. Embrace the following insights to get others to support your requests, and they will be quicker to accept the actions you set for them.

 

Mindfulness:

Be mindful of how you’re attired, your mannerisms, and the words you use when speaking. Because others will make assumptions about you and your motives based on the subliminal messages they receive. And that will impact the willingness they extend for you to lead them or avert your directives. To that end, understand what’s proper for the environment you’re in and comport yourself appropriately.

 

Awareness:

Unless you expect the unexpected, you’ll never observe it. Therefore, be keenly aware of those that plot in secret. Because they work in darkness for a purpose. And more than likely, that purpose won’t serve you.

 

Decorum:

During interactions with adversaries or those aligned with you, be aware of the silent signals you send via your body language. Your slightest grimace at an inopportune moment will momentarily flash your disdain about a subject’s discussion. And that can sway someone’s perception of your likeability. If the likeability factor is missing or contrary, you’ll have a harder time trying to convince someone to follow you.

Even if someone assails your position, keep your cool. That is, keep it unless you’re in an environment where such a slight is expected to be met by a stern rebuttal or some other action that allows others to think, I would have done the same thing. Your task is to make others see themselves in you and your position. That will be the allure that attracts them to bond with you.

 

Replicate Online And Offline Platforms:

Have you observed how social media platforms get people to engage with others? They do so by letting you know when others have tagged you in a post, picture, or article. Thus, the more people involved in a thread of information, the more nudges you’ll receive about the thoughts and comments of others that may include you. That procedure impacts your curiosity. Natural inquisitiveness will heighten the desire in most people to investigate what someone has stated about them. Because they want to know what others are saying – especially if it may be salacious.

You can use the same process to move people to embrace your ideas and direction. To do that, filter the information that others see by feeding them the positive statements that others are making about your position. The more positive comments people see, the more swayed they’ll become to accept your view. In social media, you can use the platform that’s easiest to control. But social media is not your only controlling point to consider.

You can use any platform to manage your message. Thus, it doesn’t have to be social media. It can be something as simple as posting flyers in prominent places that depicts positive sentiments about your position. All you have to do is have control over the process and what people see. That will influence the way they think.

 

Digital Trace:

There’s a plethora of digital information that awaits your uncovering. And if you uncover savory nuggets, that’s another way to shift the perspective that others have of your adversary. If you choose to use such information to advantage your position, before doing so, make sure that information will move your opponents’ supporters. And remember that a smart foe will attempt to gather information about you from digital trace information too. So, keep yourself away from controversy today that might negatively impact someone’s perception of your character tomorrow.

 

Getting People To Follow Your Request:

There are three psychological factors that you must activate when coaxing others to accept your directives. If these forces are not employed, your subjects will be less likely to embrace your offerings.

Deep Psychology:

  1. Motivation – The person must want to perform the behavior.
  2. Ability – The person perceives themselves to have the ability to address your request and view it as not being difficult to do.
  3. Trigger – You must give a call to action and remind them to address the behavior you wish them to embrace.

To be effective, you must use the three actions mentioned, motivation, ability, and trigger in the same request. The formula is, behavior, equals motivation, plus ability, plus a trigger. Therein will lie how you can use psychological motivators to entice more people to embrace your requests or demands.

 

Using Other People’s Words:

To enhance your position, consider using the words of others about the direction you wish people to adopt. You can couch those words from a positive or negative perspective. As an example, if you want people to move closer to your position, cite the words an influencer used to talk about a stance that’s similar to yours. If seeking to decrease the probability of people challenging your opinion, recite the words of doom that a prominent figure made. In either case, you can strengthen your point by using third-party sentiments. Thus, ponder this, and other tactics you can employ, that’ll influence the thoughts of those you wish to impact.

 

Reflection:

When people speak, a silent rider accompanies their words, which conveys hidden information about their inner thoughts. And those silent signals can undermine the intent their words were meant to report. Hence, what someone says can be perceived to have different meanings based on the words they use, and their mannerisms. And that impacts the perception that others have of them.

Always keep the insights mentioned in mind. By doing so, you’ll be better positioned to entice people to follow, embrace, and accept your leadership and directions … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Don’t fear opposition. From it, you can become stronger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book

“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“

 

He observed the opposing member’s body language and noted a rise in their opposition. He thought – this intervention is not going well. I’ll display a stronger resolve through my body language when I speak. And that will enhance my words.

Even those not astute at reading body language become swayed by their gestures. Some they see, and others they miss – their subconsciousness may capture the latter. That may lead to someone thinking, ‘I had a hunch or a feeling about that. But I didn’t know what it meant.’ In reality, that was their intuition summoning their consciousness. When one notices the slight gesture of someone biting their lips, hands-on hips, or an intense glare, those gestures convey a message.

You can use the following information about reading body language to resolve opposition to your position.

 

Identify Alliances

Always know who’s aligned with whom before you attempt an intervention. Without that insight, you don’t know who might be your real friend or foe. That’s important because, without that knowledge, you can’t confront the real force that opposes you. Thus, there may be a stronger force with superior powers that go unaddressed. And that could leave you going in circles wondering why you’re not advancing.

To identify possible factions aligned against you, consider planting misinformation about one group in the other. And note what that information does within those units. In particular, observe what the info does per new alliances the opposition forms. You can glean additional insight by visually inspecting the coalitions when you’re in the same environment. Do that by noting who congregates with whom and any other nonverbal exchanges that occur. You’re looking for the slightest of shifts to increase your advantage. If the forces are still committed to one another as before, that might indicate the information was insufficient for its purpose. It could also imply that there’s a stronger alliance than you’d imagined. And an FYI, this tactic is served better if you have a confidant within your targets midst place the information.

While some might consider this maneuver to be underhanded, depending on the threat confronting you, it may be well warranted – even if some revile you. Just be mindful that those with the most to lose will be the ones that contest you the most. Once uncovered, they’ll be the real opponents challenging your position.

 

Understanding One Important Body Language Queue

To identify alliances through body language, observe gestures passed between members of the opposition. Such gestures as one member placing a hand on the shoulder of another while talking can silently indicate that he’s seeking support from that person. You can also observe someone searching for assistance when a person speaks, and someone from his group places a hand on his shoulder. Since the prior gesture can also be a form of control (i.e., let’s not go that far), take note of when it occurs and who initiates the action. If it’s a “let’s not go that far” intent, the person displaying the gesture may be a leader behind the scenes or someone that you can use later to control the person speaking. Using a veiled leader in that capacity would allow you to use the hidden powers of an influencer.

 

Signs of Escalation

Some body language gestures are like canaries in a coal mine – they foretell pending danger.

 

Face-To-Face

You can sense some body language gestures before the display becomes altered. Thus, those displays reflect the emotional state of that individual at that moment. Those signals are called micro-expressions.

There are other signs to observe, such as hand flexing, the hand becoming a fist, displaying a grimacing demeanor while moving closer to you, and increasing the rate of speech. Such indicators can be the signal of emotional elevation, which can lead to hostile escalations.

It’s important to note such signals because they can indicate a change in the mental temperature. And that could put you in a worse position – which can lead you and them to become unreceptive to logical thinking.

 

On Phone

When speaking on the phone, listen for deep sighing, the deliberation of words, and the pace of speech of the person with whom you’re talking. As someone’s ire becomes heightened, you’ll hear the rise of it through those nonverbal queues. Note if you’re displaying such gestures too. Because regardless of who commits those actions, it’s an opportunity for you to shift the conversation in a direction that suits your purpose.

 

Reflection:

You can note the effectiveness of your efforts by the shifting positions your opponents adopt. Note the shift verbally and physically when in person. That’ll indicate their attempts to seek an opening they can exploit. Which means they’re on the defense.

Thus, when intervening in situations, depending on the value of the outcome, do so with vigor – don’t dither. Dithering can waste your time and hamper your position. And that’s something you can’t afford. Use the body language signs mentioned before, during, and after an intervention. They’ll put you in a more powerful position … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

 

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“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Reading micro-expressions can help avert crises. But only if your interpretation is accurate.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“7 Micro-Expressions You Need To Know – Negotiate Better”

A pale expression held his face. Holy ‘blank’ was the four-letter word obscenity he uttered. We’re in a full-blown crisis! Dumbfounded, he said, what are we going to do now? We have to negotiate with them! His associate said, let’s meet with our adversaries. We can read their micro-expressions during the meeting to gain insight into their real thoughts and feelings. That’ll allow us to know what’s really on their minds.

Do you know how to read micro-expressions? Do you know what they are? Continue reading, and you’ll be able to answer both of those questions. Plus, you’ll discover how you can use them when you’re in a crisis.

 

Micro-expressions:

Micro-expressions are emotional displays that last for less than a quarter of a second. They reflect the reality of someone’s thoughts at that moment. Hence, if you’re able to interpret someone’s emotional displays accurately, you’ll have insight into their current emotional state. Doing that will give you insight into how they feel about an offer or statement. During a crisis, having this insight gives you real-time information about the direction you should take.

There are seven micro-expressions generic to everyone throughout the world

  • Fear – When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.
  • Anger – Anger is denoted by lowered eyebrows and flaring nostrils reminiscent of a bull before charging.
  • Disgust – This micro-expression is displayed by the upper lip turned up, while the nose is wrinkled.
  • Surprise – You’ll recognize surprise through raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth.
  • Contempt – This gesture appears as a sneer. You’ll note it by one corner of the mouth turned upward.
  • Sadness – Note sadness through drooping eyelids and downturned lips. A change in voice inflection and tonality may also accompany genuine sorrow.
  • Happiness – Happiness is shown through wide-eyes with crow’s feet or wrinkles at their corners, a smile, and raised cheeks. A degree of exuberance may also accompany this gesture.

 

Using Micro-expressions In Crisis Intervention

Knowing someone’s real thoughts allows you to understand their source of motivation – and that’s the benefit of being able to read someone’s expressions.

During a crisis, use the unannounced information you’ve gathered and assess how strong the opposition is. From there, determine the degree of mental or real force to summon. Another plus is the ability to evaluate the commitment that those on the opposing side have to one another. Accordingly, if you can identify those with less alliance, you may be able to separate them from the others. Therefore, you’d be weakening their numerical strength, which may assist in decreasing their overall power.

Once you’ve gathered the mentioned insights, consider different ways to use them to your benefit. As an example, you might:

  • create false scenarios to confuse the other party per the direction they should take
  • align some of your stronger positions with their weaker ones (do this to keep their stronger points at bay) – then you can state that you’re trying your best to meet their needs
  • form a splinter group, consisting of those from your side, theirs, and neutral stakeholders to combat the overall strength of the opposing party – this maneuver is akin to divide and conquer, with the benefit of your team becoming stronger, while their’s become diluted.

 

Feigning Micro-expressions

While genuine micro-expressions give insight into one’s mind, you can fake them. As an example, you can exaggerate contempt by turning one corner of your lip up and allowing it to linger longer than a micro-expression. Even if the other person didn’t initially observe your expression, you could ask if he saw what you’d done. Regardless, you’ll have him on the defense by asking questions and him answering them.

 

Confront With Caution

There’s nothing more daunting than sizing up an adversary and not identifying its true leader. That means you must be hyper-aware of who your real opponent is and the decision-making abilities they have. You’ve heard about the power behind the throne. Even more so during a crisis, that’s who you want to confront. Your rivals may have a shared leadership structure or using a front-person as the face of their team. They’d do that to confuse you.

To identify a power source, observe who might look at whom for confirmation before making or accepting an offer. You can also detect subtle signals per the hesitation in committing that act. That’s where your observance of micro-expressions will lend assistance in identifying a person fronting as one possessing power.

 

Reflection

Being able to identify and interpret micro-expressions accurately will give you an enormous advantage in any situation. During a crisis, having this skill will magnify your power exponentially. So, if you use this ability wisely, you’ll deter and avert more crises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To spot lies, observe body language. Body language will leak lies that words omit.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator”

 

“I wasn’t sure what I was sensing. But the story didn’t seem right. I didn’t know if it came from the man’s darting eyes, or his constant lip licking. He seemed nervous. And that increased my suspicion of his guilt.” Those were the words of a police officer recounting his thoughts to a supervisor. He’d just captured a criminal that had been on the lam for decades.

One researcher found most people lie in everyday conversation. They do so to appear approachable and skilled. As a negotiator, when you assess someone’s possible deceit, what signs do you look for in their body language? Are there other nonverbal signals that you spot that give clues to someone’s degree of truthfulness?

When a person lies, their body emits clues. That’s because our body attempts to stay in a constant state of comfort. And, when it’s out of that state, the body displays signals that account for that lack of wellbeing. The following guidelines will assist you in spotting lies in those that attempt to deceive you. Having this information will allow you to heighten your senses when someone is lying.

 

Reading Body Language

  • Facial Reading
    • Forehead – When someone’s forehead begins to sweat, take note of what preceded that action. While the person may be sweating due to the heat, observe to what degree the sweating continues based on questions posed in the conversation. When coupled with other signs, you’ll have better insight into the person’s deceit or truthfulness.
    • Eyes – In some situations, a lier will avoid eye contact, because they know a lack of eye contact may indicate someone’s lying. And others will maintain eye contact longer than usual. To decern when someone may be lying, observe what’s regular eye contact for that person in different situations. As an example, note their eye movement when they’re calm compared to when they feel threatened in an attempt not to disclose the truth. Even when you first meet someone, within moments of the encounter, you can gauge their altering of eye movement. Note what may have caused it to occur.
    • Mouth – When people lie, and they believe someone may be spotting it, the more they speak, the drier their mouth may become. They may begin to lick their lips to offset the dryness or start to swallow excessively. Pay special attention to this act. While nerves may have a role in their actions, guilt from telling lies may be the real source.
    • Ears – Someone fondling their ears may be indicating that they can’t hear what you’re saying. But constant fondling is usually a sign that they’re attempting to comfort themselves. While they may be nervous, note some of the other signals to assess if there’s more to their fondling.

 

  • Body Reading
    • Neck – Rubbing the neck more than usual is another sign of tension, which may be caused by someone lying. Once again, observe other signals mentioned to gain greater insight into what this clue me be giving you.
    • Hands – Some people cover their mouth with their hand when lying. They’re attempting to hold back their words. If someone makes large gestures with their hands and then begin to make smaller ones while displaying some of the other signals noted, that might be another clue that they’re attempting to shield the lie that they want you to believe is the truth.
    • Fists – Hands that become fists indicate potential hostile actions to follow. That gesture in a tense situation may mean the person is tired of your inquisition. He may be experiencing anxiety from thinking you’re aware of his deceitful pronouncements.
    • Feet – When someone suspects that you’re aware of his lying, he may shift his body and point his feet towards the nearest exit. That gesture indicates that he wants to get out of the current environment because he feels uncomfortable.

 

Conclusion 

As you watch someone’s body language, look for a cluster of actions. No action standing alone can definitively denote their truthfulness. Remember, when someone lies, their body emits signals. Those signals may be fleeting. But, if you’re astute at recognizing them, you’ll be better at catching the lies that people tell. That will allow you to maintain greater control in all of your environments … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Is Your logic Killing The Best of Your Argument” -Negotiation Insight

 

“To be successful, know when to use logic or illogic. Either can kill or enhance an argument.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“Is Your logic Killing The Best of Your Argument”

How do you shape your logic before presenting an argument or rebuttal? And, would it be different if you were a whistleblower?

“The whistleblower doesn’t know what happened. He got his information from other sources.” Those were the words reportedly that came from officials at the White House. The words were stated to discredit the whistleblower. In reality, his account appears to be very accurate. And his report was laid out in a very logical format.

 

When presenting information, consider the following seven suggestions.

 

  1. Make your arguments easy to embrace and understand. The more comfortable someone is in adopting a rebuttal, the more likely it is to persuade them.

 

  1. Solicit empathy – When positioning a response to a question, attempt to place it as the other person would. That’ll allow that person to see herself in your response. It’ll also make it more difficult for her to refute it because she would have engaged in the same manner as you.

 

  1. Before exposing your logic, think of where it might lead and how you might defend your position.

 

  1. To make responses more potent, don’t defuse them. Adding unrelated or challenging to grasp information might defuse your position. Adding too many arguments can lead to a lack of understanding of your primary point. Thus, someone may become confused as the result of focusing on another aspect you’ve mentioned and giving that point more attention.

 

  1. Demeanor – The persona you cast is how people will perceive you. Thus, if you threw the image of someone that’s challenging to deal with, you shouldn’t be surprised when someone deals with you in that manner. Conversely, if you position yourself as someone amenable, they’ll tend to respond to you in that manner. There’s always value in positioning yourself to meet the outcome you seek. Know what that is before projecting your persona, and you’ll have a better chance of convincing others to view situations from your perspective.

 

  1. Don’t appear guilty when refuting a claim that’s logged against you. There are times when how you say something is more important than what you say. That’s because people will perceive your words through the body language gestures you emit while speaking. Therefore, if your words and body language are misaligned, and your nonverbal behavior sends signals of guilt, those will be the overriding indicators that are received. Thus, you’ll become viewed as being more guilty than innocent.

 

  1. Acting crazy – “Crazy is as crazy does.” That’s a cliché denoting how some can feign craziness and use it to advantage their position. They’ll be times when it’s appropriate to act crazy. Doing so will ward off some people that might attack you. And others will keep their distance because they’re not sure how you’ll behave or respond in situations. Thus, this can be a very potent tool to use in certain circumstances. Those environments might occur when you don’t want to appear predictable, or when you want your opponent to stay on guard. That diversion can keep his attention focused on other activities.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Every negotiation follows a logical flow. Even when it appears to be illogical, there’s a flow that will become logical. Hence, the better your logic is for what you want to occur during a negotiation, taking into consideration of the other negotiator’s reactions, the greater control you’ll have in that process. That should allow you to control the talks, which in turn should lead to a higher negotiation outcome for you … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Be More Powerful Through Body Language” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“Power is exposed through body language. But only to the degree, you expose gestures correctly.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“How To Be More Powerful Through Body Language”

 

As he walked into the room, his body language said, I’ve arrived – hear the trumpets roar. Everyone turned and looked at him. His gaping stride gave the appearance of him gliding around the room.

Yes, he exuded confidence. He displayed it through his bright-broad smile, shoulders held back, and head held high. And then it happened! He began to speak. Some in attendance later said, his voice was like an angelic choir singing in perfect harmony. And his body language gestures and words were in perfect alignment. Attendees erupted with an outpouring of emotions. They couldn’t contain themselves. Yes – he oozed power. Others wanted to get closer to touch his hand, his jacket, or to receive recognition from him.

So, what did he do to cast such a powerful image? Several factors added to his veneer. After observing and incorporating the following body language gestures, others will perceive you as a power source too.

 

Indecision:

Some people enter environments and appear caught in a vortex of uncertainty. They show it through their body language first without ever uttering a word.

To portray confidence, never compress your body into itself (e.g., shoulders slumped, eyes cast downward to the floor, slow pace when walking). Such gestures message others that you lack depth and self-assuredness. That demeanor would be beneficial if you wish to convey a lack of assuredness to your negotiation opponent. And that role would have to be in alignment with your strategy for the negotiation.

 

Vulnerability:

Do you know when you feel most vulnerable? It’s worth noting. Because when you sense exposure, you’ll display nonverbal behavior that shows in your body language. When you feel threatened, assess its source.

If you know you’ll enter into an environment that may cause you angst, plan the nonverbal gestures you’ll invoke to enhance your persona. Do so to emit confidence. As an example, you might consider smiling more than you usually do, be more open to being engaged and engaging in conversations, and speaking more while using hand gestures to highlight your words. Casting such an image will make you appear to possess more confidence. It will also serve as a deterrent to those who would challenge you if you seemed to be weak.

 

Body Language Gestures To Observe:

  • Smile – People that smile, at the appropriate time, display a lack of concern about their wellbeing. This gesture also suggests that the person is open and approachable. When someone flashes a smile during times of adversity, it can cause a potential threat barer to question his intent. He’ll wonder why you’re not displaying fear.

 

  • Walking Stride – People walking at a brisk pace with a wide gap indicate that they’re ‘on the move.’ They have a destination in mind. Contrast this against the individual that shuffles upon a path. The signal is, they’re not in a hurry. Use the appropriate pace for the image you want to send.

 

  • Hand Movement – Like other body language movement, hands should be synchronized with the words pronounced. But, someone’s hand motions can occur a moment or two before their words. Hand movement can also indicate the beginning of aggression (e.g., closing into fists and opening again). Thus, to show you’re not afraid, do so by displaying palms up. To add to the display, splay your fingers too.

 

  • Pace of Speech – Nervous People tend to talk too fast and too much. Thus, you can use this act to gauge how calm someone is. And, to convey more power when you speak, do so at a pace associated with what the listener perceives as someone exerting influence.

 

Whatever the environment you’re in, by controlling your body language and observing that of others, you can become better perceived as being more powerful. Therefore, once you master the techniques mentioned, the perception of your power will become heightened … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Avoid Danger From Being A Strong Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“The only real danger in being a strong negotiator is not knowing when to act like you’re weak.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Avoid Danger From Being A Strong Negotiator”

 

Some negotiators emit weakness when they’re negotiating. There’s danger in doing that. Other negotiators exude strength. There’s danger in that, too. A successful negotiator knows how to project power while avoiding the threat of being perceived as overbearing, stubborn, or unrelenting. They also know when to appear robust and when to appear weak.

The following are ways that you can be a strong negotiator while avoiding danger and becoming more successful in your negotiations.

 

First, be mindful of the negotiator type with whom you’re negotiating. Some negotiators will view you as an opponent or adversary, while others will see you as an advisor or friend. It’s essential to identify and know the different characteristics displayed by negotiators. That’ll determine how you’ll negotiate with them.

 

Adversary Versus Advisor: 

If a negotiator perceives you as too overbearing, he may become obstinate. When you appear weak, some negotiators will take advantage of you. So, you must know when to adopt the right persona. You can determine that by how the other negotiator sees you versus how you wish him to view you.

When dealing with someone that notes you as an adversary, his mindset is, he’s in a rigorous engagement, and there’s only one winner, him. With this type of negotiator, stand your ground. Challenge him before making concessions. Make him earn what he receives. That will enhance the respect he has for you and your abilities.

When viewed as an advisor or friend, display a demeanor of agreeability. You want this negotiator type to feel at ease with you. Create a climate whereby ideas are free to be exchanged. That will encourage that person to be more amenable to your offers, thoughts, and ideas. Also, he won’t feel threatened when you propose something that may appear to be out-of-bounds.

 

Advisory Role:

When projecting strength or weakness, know when to switch roles. Displaying the advisor role (e.g., I’d like to gather a little more information so I can best determine how I might meet your request), is an excellent way to break the frame. It’ll allow you to morph from a position of weakness to strength or vice versa. Be sure to change your demeanor when doing so. Do that by adjusting your body language to meet the new image that you project.

As an example, if you’re acting the role of a competent person and you switch to a weaker one, sit smaller in your chair. Do that by slouching, and drawing your body closer to itself as though you were afraid.

To project an image of strength, expand the space you’re occupying. Accomplish that by increasing the size of your body, and making big gestures when you speak. You can also move your objects further away. You want to occupy more space to appear more confident. That nonverbal gesture states that you feel comfortable and unafraid of anything in the environment.

You can also use inflections in your voice to cast the appropriate demeanor. Do that by placing a stronger or weaker inference on the words that are most important to you. That will add value to your persona.

 

Conclusion:

Like everything in life – the more you know about the environment you’ll be in and the people in it, the better prepared you can be for what might occur. Knowing how to move back and forth stealthfully, from a forceful negotiator image to one less dynamic, will allow you to have more influence over the negotiation. Plus, you won’t have to worry about being perceived as an ogre when you adopt a more rigorous personality. That will keep the negotiation wolves away from your door, those that would seek retribution for you being too strong against them … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“Here Is What You Need To Know To Win More Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

 

“To win more, you must know more about how to win.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Here Is What You Need To Know To Win More Negotiations”

He entered the negotiation completely unprepared. And he jumped at the first offer the other negotiator made. After they departed the negotiator that had extended the offer said to a cohort, I wish all of my negotiations were that easy. That guy had no negotiation skills.

Hopefully, no one will ever say that about you. Implement the following steps in your negotiations, and you’ll decrease that probability.

 

Planning Stage:

  • Identify what a winning outcome is for you and the other negotiator.
  • Take into account the resources you and the other negotiator will have to enhance your efforts. Those resources might consist of other people at the negotiation table and some that are not.
  • Determine what either of you might do to achieve that outcome.
  • Assess what might hamper the outcome you’d like.
  • Identify the body language gestures you’ll note to assess when the other negotiator is becoming exasperated. Set the baseline for those gestures by observing how he acts when he’s calm.

 

Other Influencing Factors:

  • Know the outside sources of power that might influence the other negotiator.
  • For more considerable influence, understand the way he thinks and the motives that drive his actions.
  • Know your pressure points and those of your opponent. You can gain influence by applying pressure on those not at the negotiation table – leverage that. Remember, the other negotiator can do the same to you. To decrease that probability, minimize those that may expose your vulnerabilities. Doing so will make you less susceptible to pressure.
  • Know how many phases there may be in the negotiation. If the other negotiator is the first of many that you’ll be negotiating against, he may be attempting to gain insight into your strategy. Then, when you think you’ve reached an agreeable outcome, he’s removed. And his team installs someone else. That’s the beginning of the next phase of the talks. That can occur throughout many stages. Be prepared for it.
  • Recognize when you’re in a zone – everything is going right. Also, be aware when things are misaligned. When that occurs, stop the negotiation. Take a break an assess what’s happening. Once refreshed, re-engage.

 

Read Body Language:

  • Gather nonverbal queues that reveal hidden thoughts.
  • Eyes – What can you glean from someone’s eyes? You can gain insight into their demeanor, the degree of respect they have for you and themselves. And you can note when they become uneasy about an offer. To record such occurrences, observe the eye movement when engaged in regular exchanges. Then, as things intensify, note the quickening pace of the eye movement, the direction up or down in which is glanced. Those movements will signal uncomfortableness. Take note when sensing that and be prepared to take action.
  • Hands – When people speak, it’s natural to use hand gestures. As you progress in the negotiation, note the degree your opponent alters those gestures. There’s value in noting the difference between him saying, and we’re this close to a successful deal while holding his thumb and forefinger a quarter of an inch apart, versus two inches. He’s displaying his measurement to how close he thinks you are to closing the deal.
  • Speech patterns – Words convey thoughts. And specific words have more meaning than others. Thus, lend attention to the words used and their pronouncement when someone extends an offer. As an example, if someone were to say in a robust intonation, that’s my best deal, take it or leave it. They’d sound more convincing than if they stated it in a weaker tone and with their head bowed. Gain additional information by listening and observing.

 

Exit Strategies:

  • Have clearly defined points indicating when it’s time to exit the negotiation. Establish them during your planning session.
  • Allow the other negotiator points to exit without losing face.
  • Assess the degree a winning outcome has changed as you’ve negotiated. If it’s altered drastically, consider postponing it.

 

Many factors influence the flow and outcome of a negotiation. The better prepared you are for what might occur, the better your chances to control the factors that determine the outcome. Having more control means, you should be able to keep the other negotiator happy with what he receives, while you obtain what you seek. The strategies mentioned will help you do just that. They’ll assist you in achieving your goals … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Do You Know How To Avoid Negotiation Manipulation Mistakes” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To avoid misperceived mistakes in manipulation, state your intent clearly.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“Do You Know How To Avoid Negotiation Manipulation Mistakes”

 

Before they began the negotiation, he heaped constant prays on her. She blushed and wondered if he had a deeper affinity. Finally, she said, “okay, enough with the manipulation efforts – let’s get down to business.” To which he replied, “I’ve been discussing business all along.” That’s when she said in a snarky tone, “the way you were carrying on, I thought you wanted to date me.” At that, he became a little crestfallen. That’s when he realized his prays had been perceived as manipulation. He had made a big mistake! Do you know how to avoid negotiation manipulation mistakes?

Continue reading and you’ll discover how to avoid and use manipulation in your negotiations.

 

Manipulations – good – bad – it depends:

Whether someone feels manipulated depends on their perspective. If you ask most people what the definition of manipulation is, they’ll state that it’s a negative act. It can mean to advantage oneself based on the skill applied to do so. It can also mean to address with skill a process or treatment – in that case, it’s neutral – neither negative or positive.

Before engaging someone in a negotiation, understand their perspective of prays, deference, and appreciation of one’s achievements. And be mindful not to be perceived as effusive. You don’t want your intent to be misperceived.

 

Manipulation Mistakes:

Some negotiators begin a negotiation unaware of how their actions are being perceived. Those individuals should acquire greater negotiation skills.

Smart negotiators are aware that every action may be scrutinized to disclose hidden intents. They look for body language signals to indicate indifference to offers and counteroffers.

Being unobservant opens the door to misperception. When you observe signals that indicate you’re being perceived as brownnosing or deceitful, those may be signs that you’ve wandered into the realm of making manipulation mistakes. Seek feedback as to how you’re being perceived and if necessary, clarify your intent.

 

Body Language Observance:

When detecting perceived manipulation through someone’s body language, there are a few signs to observe.

  1. Head-cock to either side – This gesture indicates interest. It may be saying, where’s this going? Take note of the number of times the head moves from one side of the body to the other. That’ll indicate a greater intent to gain more insight about what’s being said. Look for other signs to add deeper meaning to head-cocking gestures. Smiles, along with interruptions, can lend to that insight.

 

  1. Smiles – A smile doesn’t necessarily mean agreement. With perceived manipulation, a smile may indicate, let’s see how far he’ll go. Or, I don’t believe he’s saying that. If you have doubt about a gesture’s significance, inquire about how it’s perceived. Some people find themselves on a slippery slope because they don’t recognize the first step. Don’t let that happen to you.

 

  1. Interruptions – When someone interrupts you, they want to alter what they’re hearing. They may be asking you to cite your case differently for greater clarity. The point is, they’re seeking more information. Take heed. They may be signaling hidden thoughts that states they’ve become more attuned to what you’re saying. Understand why that’s so.

 

Using Manipulation:

Manipulation can be an effective tool if it’s used correctly. To do so, understand the mindset of the other individual – and his boundaries about perceived effusiveness and lack of respect. Those boundaries will be the sweet spot to place your praise. Skirt those boundaries and you’ll venture into murky waters.

The best time to manipulate someone is when you slightly alter what they already believe to be true. It’s even better if you’ve established trust first. Thus, the more they see themselves in your reflection, the greater the opportunity for manipulation.

Please be aware not to abuse this technique. It can have deadly consequences in a negotiation. Always treat your opponent with the utmost respect. If you don’t intentionally manipulate someone towards harm, you’ll have greater negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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