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Category: Women In Business

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development Women In Business

How to Engage Listeners With the Surprising Pause

Power Speaking Skills: Strategies to Engage Listeners With the “Surprising” Pause:

In this video, Maria demonstrates how to engage your business listeners with the power of the Surprising Pause and make your delivery truly compelling.

The Successful Speaker, Inc. video series provides speaking strategies that will help you enhance your credibility and leadership presence during meetings, sales presentations, conversations with senior management, networking events, and even by phone.

The video series addresses every aspect of successful speaking, including how to sound authoritative, speak with credibility, master active listening, and engage your listeners. The videos also provide speaking strategies rooted in theatrical performance, providing tips on how to build belief and captivate your business listeners.

The Successful Speaker, Inc. videos will help you get more YES’s whenever you speak for business. Learn how to enhance your credibility and speak with passion, persuasion, and pizzazz.

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Homage to the Master Storyteller

Nope, it’s not Steven Spielberg, or even Dr. Seuss. It’s Hans Rosling.

Never heard of him? After today, you’ll not only have heard of him, but you’ll wish you’d done so years ago.

The late, great Dr. Hans Rosling passed away on February 9, 2017. A professor of public health, he was the master of taking arguably mundane data – and lots of it – and one of the most boring forms of visual presentation – the graph – and transforming them into a mesmerizing story that made you forget you were learning.

So for anyone out there who uses the excuse that the information you have to share “isn’t all that exciting” to defend why their presentations are uninspiring, after reading this post, that excuse no longer exists.

See for yourself in this BBC video where he analyzes the life-expectancy-to-income ratio of 200 countries over 200 years… in about four minutes. As you watch, you’ll be amazed at not only how much he accomplished in those four minutes, but at how much you actually learned… not to mention how much you enjoyed the experience in the process.

The key lesson for our purposes here is something he states in the first few seconds of the video: “I know that having the data isn’t enough. I have to show it in ways people both enjoy and understand.”

Talk about a one-two punch; let’s face it, most people are satisfied if they can get people to understand their data. The idea of combining that with having the audience actually enjoy hearing about it… that seems almost as likely as finding a unicorn.

There is huge differentiator that most people fail to grasp: the amount of information you present in no way naturally correlates to the amount of information the audience absorbs. That part is 100% up to you to make the information both comprehendible and ideally interesting, so it’s not just that the audience can understand what you’re saying, but they actively want to understand it, and then ask for more.

That’s why Professor Rosling was the master. For most of us, we’ll claim that of course global public health is important to us on a general level, but it’s not something we’ll go out of our way to learn about. But from the moment he starts talking, we are practically compelled to keep watching, genuinely curious to see where he goes next.

So what’s the secret sauce to being this good?

I’ve worked with a lot of people in this area, and there are some really important commonalities regarding the challenges that they face, and where Professor Rosling excels. Let’s break down the ingredients into three categories: Visual, Verbal and Vocal.

First: Visual. This one’s easy. As the adage says, “A picture is worth 1000 words.” When graphs or other visual aids are easy to see and understand, the audience just “gets it,” allowing you to share more information much more efficiently. His body language also flows with the picture, and matches his level of enthusiasm as he speaks, which makes it all feel very natural, and draws you in.

Second: Verbal. He’s a globally-renowned expert, but he doesn’t try to prove this by using lots of technical terms or speaking over the viewers’ heads. He uses language everyone can understand, and breaks his points down into distinct sentences with a clear beginning and end. It’s not a rambling stream of consciousness as he figures out what he wants to say. He is crystal-clear on what each point needs to be, and he delivers them on a silver platter, one by one, making it easily digestible for the audience.

Third: Vocal. Without looking at his script, how can you tell where sentences (and points) start and end? Because you can hear it. At the end of his sentences, you can hear where there is a period or exclamation point based on the intonation changes in his voice: there is a low drop for periods, and the sentence or last word may rise in pitch until the very last second and then quickly fall to indicate excitement, i.e. the exclamation point. Where a phrase is not the end of a sentence, his pitch often goes up to indicate a comma, and then the rest of the sentence follows, culminating in the voice-drop. And at the end of his sentences, there is a brief pause, which allows you to process what he just said, and prepares you for the next nugget to come.

(For those of you who need to hear/see some examples of these vocal concepts and the ones that follow, check this short little video here.)

Intonation contrasts – otherwise known as tonality, i.e. where you put the high and low pitch points in your speech – have an additional value beyond implying punctuation and grammar: they are chiefly responsible for conveying interest. He “punches” important key words with higher pitch and draws them out a bit in a way that sounds more enthusiastic. It captures the audience’s interest, and even makes it easier for them to cognitively process the key points, aiding in comprehension.

Plus, the audience will feed off the speaker’s energy before they process what they heard. Dr. Rosling genuinely loves his subject, and his passion for it comes through with each fact he shares, and it’s contagious.

As a point of contrast, reflect back on actor Ben Stein’s most infamous character, the economics teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, who epitomized the world’s most boring teacher. While that was funny in the movie, the sad truth is that he more accurately reflects the typical speech style of people at your average office meeting or presentation than Professor Rosling.

The good news is that the typical standard of mediocrity in how people share data can be raised, and I challenge you to do it. While you may not have all the fancy computer graphics at your disposal, you can use these simple verbal, vocal and visual strategies to tell the story of your data rather than just plod through your statistics one by one.

Better yet, you can also use his software to bring your data to life if you so choose. At Dr. Rosling’s site, Gapminder.org, he gives it to you for free through open licensing, and even shows you how to use it.

So thanks, Dr. Rosling, for inspiring the world in two ways: with all that you have done in the world of public health, and for modeling how to make even the most “boring” data compelling through the art of storytelling.

********

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at
laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

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Best Practices Marketing Skills Women In Business

How Strategic Pauses Will Engage Your Listeners

Power Speaking Skills: Strategies to Improve Pacing with the Power of the Pause:

Maria Guida, president of Successful Speaker, Inc. helps you speak with the poise, passion, and persuasive power of a Broadway actor. In this video, Maria tells you how to use the Power of the Pause when you speak. (This is Part 3 in the series called, “Engage Your Listeners by Allowing You Ideas to Land”).

The Successful Speaker, Inc. video series provides speaking strategies that will help you enhance your leadership presence when you give business presentations, speak with senior management, make sales calls, network, and more. The video series addresses every aspect of successful speaking, including how to sound authoritative, speak with credibility, master active listening, and engage your listeners. The videos also provide speaking strategies rooted in theatrical performance, because actors know how to move audiences. The result: you will become a more authoritative and successful speaker!

The Successful Speaker, Inc. videos will help you project star quality and get more YES’s in the workplace and on the speaking platform. Learn how to enhance your credibility: speak with stage presence, confidence, authority, and authenticity. Discover ways to engage your listeners: use vocal dynamics with impact, to make your communication sing. You will learn how acting improvisation can help you develop the ability to think quickly on your feet. You will also discover how to rehearse strategically with techniques that focus the mind and help you appear completely spontaneous.

There are many other videos about communication, public speaking and presentation skills hosted by Maria Guida and Successful Speaker, Inc. All of these videos are available free of charge on YouTube at Youtube.com/SuccessfulSpeaker

and also at www.successfulspeakerinc.com/blog.
And if you’d like to learn more about how to speak successfully for business, log onto our website and join our mailing list, to download additional, free tips for successful speaking. Visit www.successfulspeakerinc.com.

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Best Practices Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Looking Confident – Even When You’re Not

Over the last several posts, I’ve been sharing strategies on delivering a great performance in front of the camera – and by extension, when in front of a live audience even without a camera. If you haven’t seen them yet, here’s the link to my series of video shorts, “Capturing Your Confidence on Camera.”

This time, I want to share a couple of other great resources for delivering a confident, compelling, engaging performance, as both demonstrated and explained in two of my favorite TED Talks.

The first is more likely to appeal to the part of your brain that likes to read inspiring self-help psychology related books that explain why you do what you do and how to control your own destiny.

It’s your friendly neighborhood Harvard psychologist, Dr. Amy Cuddy, in her TED talk, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.”

This video had two big take-aways. First are the very-real effects that your posture has on your hormonal balance, which subsequently can influence your psyche and sense of self-efficacy and confidence. If you knew that taking two minutes to yourself to hold a certain pose before giving a presentation or speaking on camera could change the quality of your delivery, you’d do it, wouldn’t you?

Second, her story of needing to project confidence at a time when she didn’t feel it, suffering from what some might call “the imposter syndrome,” (long before she was “THE” Amy Cuddy,) is something everyone can relate to. The way she managed to perform despite that fear, until she had beaten it, is inspiring..

It’s also humbling. After realizing everything she was up against – including severe cognitive damage from a car accident – you have to admit: if she can overcome that, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to overcome your fears too, and learn to speak with true confidence.

In contrast, the second video will appeal to the other side of your brain. The part that doesn’t want to have think too hard. Actually, it kind of reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Why? Because it’s a whole talk about nothing.

It’s a talk about what academics might call “meta-strategies”… but we won’t call it that, because that sort of sucks all the fun out of it, which shouldn’t be allowed to happen after a perfectly good Seinfeld nod.

In “How to sound smart in your TEDx Talk,” Will Stephen steals the show at TEDxNewYork. He paces the stage and talks as if giving a real talk on some specific topic, all the while really just pointing out all the of his own little gestures, mannerisms, and vocal modulations as he does them, explaining why they make his talk engaging… or at least why they would if his talk actually had a more specific point.

It’s six minutes you’ll need to watch twice. The first time you’ll follow along with each point nodding, smiling, and thinking “oh my gosh, that’s so true!” Then at the end, you’ll realize, “oh my gosh, that IS true… wait a minute, I need to look at that again…”

As he uses each little gesture, and explains its value and its likely effect on you right at that moment, take note. The strategies are so simple, but each one engages, endears, and compels. His talk is entertaining and semi-facetious, but every one of his points is relevant, and easily applicable in any presentation preparation and delivery.

Ultimately, just remember that in any situation, you have control over much more than you realize, including how confident you feel, and how confident you look. Strike your pose. Emulate the characteristics you wish you had (i.e. “fake it ‘til you make it”.) Consider the little gestures and vocal cues that connect with the audience in different ways, and deliver them like you mean it.

Once you put it all together, the confidence will flow outward, and when you see how the audience responds to it, you’ll feed off that response and the confidence will become genuine. And there’s no better feeling than that!

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Best Practices Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Navigating the On-Camera Interview

You’ve been invited to be interviewed on camera for TV, a video podcast or other virtual event. Does the voice inside your head say:

A: “Woohoo, this is a great chance to get some major publicity, I can’t wait!”

B: “I think I’m going to throw up.”

Most people get nervous when being interviewed, and even more people get nervous at the idea of being on camera. Put the two together and you have a combo that makes the fight-or-flight reflex kick into overdrive.

Aside from checking to make sure there’s no spinach between your teeth, you need to have a strategy to get the result you want. Check out this quick video for some proactive measures you can take in advance to direct the interview where YOU want it to go.

On the one hand, there are all of the delivery details I’ve discussed in other videos in this series like body language, voice, and how to calm your nerves when on camera.

But for interviews, it’s all about having a game plan.

Creating Your Interview Game Plan

First, who is conducting the interview, and what is their agenda? Do they showcase leaders whose story will serve as an inspiration for others? Or are they more likely to try to shoot holes in your theory?

There’s a huge difference between being a guest on a weekday morning television talk show and an evening television news program. The daytime interviews tend to be friendly and just want an interesting story that their listeners will enjoy. Evening news programs are more interested in getting “the scoop.” They enjoy conflict and putting people on the spot, particularly if you espouse a principle that their following tends to disagree with economically or politically.

Knowing what their intention is in advance can help you determine your own goal.

• Do you want people to pull out their smartphones and order your product or sign a petition right then and there?
• Do you want to educate more people about a growing problem – and solutions?
• Do you need to debunk some myths?

Depending on your desired outcome, you will decide in advance what stories to tell, what evidence to share, and how explicitly or implicitly you want to invite others to act.

If the interviewer is more likely to play a little hardball and ask a few tough questions, prepare your answers in advance. At this point in your career, you know what objections and challenges people tend to raise, so be prepared with how you want to respond.

Most importantly, remember that an interview is a conversation.
• DON’T just go on a monologue of statistics.

• DO take a conversational approach

• DO engage the interviewer by using his or her name once in a while, and

• DO give short, clear answers to allow the interviewer to volley back and forth with you without having to cut you off to get a word in edgewise.

Of course, that’s only half the battle.

It’s Not (Just) What You Say…

Once you have a sense of what information you want to share, you need to practice how you say it. I strongly recommend writing down a few questions – tough ones and lob balls – and practice answering them, but video record yourself while you do it!

The recording serves several purposes. First it lets you see how you look when you’re answering it. Are you squirming or poised? Do you smile at appropriate times, laugh nervously, or never even crack a smile?

Second, it lets you see how you sound when answering the questions. When you listen to the recording, you’ll realize when you’re rambling, when you’ve left out an important detail, or when you’ve given a great, laser-focused answer. Do you say “Actually” in every sentence (what I call the educated person’s “um”), stutter your way through an answer when you aren’t sure what to say, or mumble so quietly that you have to turn the volume all the way up on your ear buds to even hear what you’re saying?

Ideally, you should record your practice several times until you have figured out what information you want to include or leave out, and can answer the easy AND the hard questions smoothly and confidently.

When you are a good conversationalist with engaging examples and confident delivery, that’s when the wider audience will give you points for acing the interview and taking home the win.

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Best Practices Growth Management Skills Women In Business

What does Your Body Language Say?


“A blur of blinks, taps, jiggles, pivots and shifts … the body language of a man wishing urgently to be elsewhere.” – Edward R. Murrow

You may know your content backwards and forwards, inside and out, and be completely confident in your subject, but is your non-verbal communication – i.e. your body language – undermining your authority in spite of your knowledge?

A little while ago, I was working with a client who didn’t realize that he was a “fidgeter.” After a first practice recording, he watched his video, and before offering any feedback, I asked him what he thought about his performance. He paused, and was quiet for a moment before very matter-of-factly declaring: “I’m going to cut off my hands.”

Running his fingers through his hair, folding and unfolding his arms, touching his face, hands in and out of the pockets, scratching his neck, lacing and unlacing his fingers… Not only did it distract the viewer from listening to the message, but more importantly, the “antsy-ness” (as my mother would call it) practically screamed of insecurity and discomfort, and this completely undermined his efforts to establish himself as a confident, competent leader.

What’s most important to realize is that before you even open your mouth to speak, your body has already communicated very specific messages to the audience, and those messages have one of only two possible effects: If aligned with your words, they strengthen your image and reputation; otherwise, they weaken it. That’s it.

The Importance of Alignment

This binary result is because when your words and body language are aligned or congruent, they reinforce each other, which is much more convincing to the audience. But when they are not in alignment – where perhaps your “script” seems confident but the delivery is not, or your words claim that you are caring and want to hear from people but you never smile and your voice is flat – it makes the audience question why, and this casts doubt.

When working with entrepreneurs preparing to pitch in front of investors, I always say, “Before anyone will buy your product or service, they have to buy into you.” Regardless of how well-composed the content of the pitch is, if the delivery isn’t in alignment, this will never happen.

Ultimately, alignment between verbal and non-verbal communication is the foundation of credibility. Lack of alignment destroys that foundation. Let’s look at ways to ensure that you are in alignment, in order to maximize your credibility.
Body Language – Do’s and Don’ts

Just about everyone gets nervous when speaking on camera (or in public without a camera), and in an earlier post I offered some strategies for calming your nerves ( insert hyperlink later). But that nervousness can come across as uncontrolled fidgeting and bad habits like touching your face or waving your arms around without realizing it, or on the flip side, you might come across as stiff, robotic and unfeeling.

In this video on body language, you’ll get a quick checklist with examples of non-verbal cues to watch for when speaking in public or on camera. I use the easy acronym P.E.G.S., which stands for Posture, Eye contact, Gestures and Smile.

Take a look at the examples for each category in the video to see how many of them you’re guilty of doing… then ask yourself how that might influence the success of the video’s overall objective.

In case there’s still a part of you that wants to argue that your position and experience speak for themselves, and your body language shouldn’t make a difference, I leave you with the immortal words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”

When the way you deliver meets up with the words you say you are speaking in unison. That is when your intended message is reinforced and your credibility shines through.

Categories
Best Practices Growth Skills Women In Business

Build Audience Belief the way Actors Do

To enhance your credibility when speaking for business, you can borrow a technique that actors use to build belief within the listening audience.

Why use an acting technique? The reason is simple: Persuasive and influential business speakers have a lot in common with actors. They all know that the key to successful speaking is to inspire belief in the hearts and minds of the audience.

The most important belief-building technique for actors is the use of what we call Acting Objectives. You can apply this technique to the rehearsal and delivery of your business talks (formal or informal), so that you will speak with the greatest power: power that comes from a complete commitment that is visible on your body and audible in your voice.

When actors are preparing a role, they make careful choices about what actions to take, to help the audience believe that the make believe situation is real. For actors, it’s all about actions; actions speak louder than words. So, actors examine each script and create acting objectives: actions that lie underneath the words – actions to take toward the listeners. This helps actors become motivated to speak the words that the playwright or screenwriter wrote and speak them truthfully, authentically, and conversationally.

In rehearsal and performance, actors pursue their acting objectives as if their lives depended on it. This helps the audience believe that the actor and the character are one and the same: that the actor IS the character.

This process is useful to business speakers for two important reasons:

• When you’re speaking in business, you want your listeners to believe something (believe that you have solution to their problems, for example). The more rigorously you pursue your actions (your acting objectives), the more completely your listeners will believe that you and your message are one and the same: believe that you are your message.

• As a business speaker or presenter, when you make your audience believe, they are likely to overlook minor shortcomings or mistakes you might make. Once you’ve made your listeners believe, you’ve won them over to your side. After that, your audience will forgive you almost anything!

Beats:

In order to make choices about actions (to identify acting objectives), actors divide the script – and you should divide your notes for a business talk — into units. Actors call them BEATS. Each beat is a separate topic, smaller than the overall subject of the message. It is a topic of conversation: what the speaker is talking about: a simple noun or noun phrase.

Here is an example: an excerpt from the “Greed Is Good” speech, delivered by Michael Douglas’s character in the film Wall Street.

“Our company, Teldar Paper, has 33 different vice presidents each earning over $200,000 a year. Now, I have spent the last two months analyzing what all these guys do, and I still can’t figure it out. One thing I do know is that our paper company lost 110 million dollars last year, and I’ll bet that half of that was spent on all the paperwork going back and forth between all the these VP’s. The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the UN-fittest. Well, in my book, you either do it right, or you get eliminated.”

In this excerpt, there are two beats. Beat one ends with the phrase “all these VP’s”; it is about waste within the company. The second beat begins with “The new…” and ends with the word “eliminated”; this beat is about the survival of dysfunctional companies in America.

Take a deep dive into the notes you have for a business talk, and divide it into beats, separating the beats with small dividing marks. Consider what each beat is about, and where it begins and ends. Then, in the left hand margin, identify what the beat is about. Express this as a simple noun or noun phrase.

Objectives:

When you know what each beat is about, you are ready to identify an acting objective for each beat (an action that lies underneath the words you speak). This should be a specific, active verb expressing what you wish to do to your listeners as you speak; what you want to make them feel or do.

Choose objectives that are personally appealing and attractive to pursue, so that you’ll be motivated and project energy. There are three ingredients for an effective acting objective, and these are the very same ingredients for an effective speaker objective. Each objective should have the following qualities. It should be

1. A specific, active verb, Directed toward the listener

2. Personal and appropriate to the spoken message and the listener’s situation

3. Truthful (for our purposes, truthful doesn’t mean actual; it means believable)

Pursuing an objective (the simple, active verb) gives you energy and focus as you speak. Studies show that listeners pay the most attention to the actions underneath the words we speak – the vocal tone and demeanor of the speaker. Consider how a person’s tone/demeanor (not words alone) reveal sincerity, evasiveness, or sarcasm, for example.

Process:

Let’s imagine that in one beat of your business talk, you wish to be powerful.
Verb: to be powerful

Problem: the verb “to be” is static. It doesn’t contain active energy.

Better choice: you wish to obtain power

Problem: the verb is too general.
Ask yourself: “What must I wish to DO in order to obtain power?”

Now you can plan specific actions to take towards the audience – in order to obtain power. Possible verbs/objectives:
• I wish to impress the audience

• I wish to instill confidence

• I wish to earn their affection

Is the purpose of your presentation to move the listeners to give you money or provide funding for a project? Here are some objectives that may apply during your presentation:

• I wish to persuade the audience to make a sacrifice

• I wish to direct them on a noble/moral path (for PR purposes!)

• I wish to illustrate the joy that comes from sacrifice to others

• I wish to save them from their misguided ways

If these power verbs seem overly-dramatic to you, know that these objectives are for the purpose of strengthening your delivery and should remain your secrets. Keep your acting objectives private. Have you ever noticed that your secrets hold great power for you — the longer you keep a secret, the more power it holds for you? Have you noticed that when you let a secret out, tell it to someone, it loses some of its power over you? We want our acting objectives to have great power to affect our delivery! So, keep your acting objectives private; this will strengthen your motivation to speak and galvanize the commitment and passion in your voice and your gestures.

Actors write their acting objectives in the margin of the script, right next to the dialogue. In your speaking notes, in the right hand margin next to each beat, write one simple acting objective.

Rehearse By Pursuing Your Acting Objectives:

Actors rehea
rse aloud, rehearse often, and rehearse at performance level energy. Rehearse improvisationally from your notes; do not memorize or speak from rote memory. Internalize your ideas. As you speak the words of the beat,

• Focus on the underlying acting objective

• Keep it at the forefront of your mind

• Pursue the objective as if your life depended on it

Over time, as you rehearse, you should begin to notice that you are communicating your joy in sharing ideas. Always be sure you are communicating: “My message is important for you, so I love being here with you.”

Benefits of Using Objectives:

Pursuing acting objectives holds three powerful benefits for you as a speaker:

Benefit #1: It gives you laser-beam focus and simplifies your process, because it gives you just ONE thing to think about as you speak each beat.

Benefit #2: It galvanizes your energy toward what you are doing with your words. It’s the quickest and most powerful way to project energy, commitment, passion, and poise.

Benefit #3: It’s a completely organic way to make your voice and physical demeanor support your content. It turns your voice, body language, and content into one seamless, unified message.

When you are pitching to clients, making presentations, speaking with senior management, or even delivering an elevator speech, the pursuit of acting objectives will give you maximum power and deliver to your audience maximum impact.

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development Women In Business

Knowing What Great Leaders Do and Doing What Great Leaders Do Are Two Different Things

The other day I heard a leader speak to his team of fifty. He was sharing that he wants his managers to walk the floor and identify ways to improve processes and procedures and to identify a person who should be acknowledged for giving their all to the job.

After his talk a group went to lunch and he invited me along. He shared with us about his desire to grow his managers and encourage them to lead. He shared about his speech. One of his friends laughed and asked, “when was the last time you walked the floor and told someone ‘good job”? I know it wasn’t lately” The whole table laughed.

Sometimes leaders talk a good talk but don’t walk the walk. When you don’t walk the walk your reputation is diminished, people don’t trust you and even your friends know when you are just giving lip service.

To be a great leader who has influence, impact and the ability to inspire others cultivate the following:

Have Integrity – Do what you say you will do. If you can’t do it say so. If you don’t know something, say that. Integrity is about follow through and commitment. This is especially true for those who follow you. They are watching you and they know the person you are by how you follow through.

Model The Behavior You Want Others To Have – if you want an enthusiastic, energized workforce set an example. If you want helpful, customer focused culture you have to emulate that in everything you do. That also means that you find teaching moments to share how you would do it and people can model you. Think about how you greet people in the morning, are you inquisitive, are you sincere? It is okay if that isn’t your style, just don’t demand that from others. You are the one who sets the standards of behavior. If you can’t behave in a certain way then shift your vision of what you want or move on.

Standards – This is so important and so often missed. Missed because you, as the leader, take it for granted. You have standards for yourself, have you ever written those standards down? Have you shared your standards of behavior to your new hires, your executive team, even to your family? Too often leaders assume that others know, that others have the same standards. They don’t. Every single person comes from a unique, distinct and diverse background compared to you, including your children. They have different perspectives of the same event, location, or person than you. It is normal. That is why it is critical that you write down your standards, your values and be clear about them.

I have a friend who is a local politician with a great career ahead of her. When we worked together we worked through these three key components. It became such a strong foundation for her new career in politics that she had two works of art commissioned that reflected her standards and values. They hang in her office. Her core team has her value statements and standards on a card on their desks. Her meetings with her executive team start with reading her standards and values so that everyone is on board, with clarity and focus.

Everyone can be a leader. It takes focused action to be a great leader.

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Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

NETWORKING with Friends and Acquaintances

When was the last time you became a tourist in your own town or city? Unless you have had visitors it probably was a while ago. We don’t see our town in the same light as a tourist would. We downplay it and often forget it is special. Have your ever noticed that we see the sights of our hometown only when someone comes to visit? It is only when someone from out of town comes to stay that we break out the walking shoes and show with pride the sites and sounds that make our area special and unique. We point out the areas of interest, and often times we ask ourselves – why don’t we do this more often? Why do we wait until someone new comes to visit to show the strengths of our town?

Sharing ourselves

Sharing who we are and our accomplishments is a similar experience. We don’t share them with our everyday acquaintances or friends, because they know us. Just as we take our town for granted we also take our friends, colleagues and ourselves for granted. We are so used to each other that we forget to share our accomplishments, dreams and goals. We also forget to ask about their accomplishments, dreams, and goals.

At a professional function recently, a group of professionals were sitting together and relaxing. They knew each other for several years and several of them were quite good friends, speaking often on the phone and through e-mail. I sat down listened to their joking and laughter. It was evident that they enjoyed each other’s company.

I asked them about their networking practices and how they networked. Many shared that it wasn’t their strong suit. They didn’t like introducing themselves to new people, they felt more comfortable among themselves. They didn’t feel comfortable, “selling themselves or bragging”. It was then that I knew that the art of networking was being lost among this most talented, friendly group. I offered to share techniques that would reap immediate benefits right then and there — and now with you — here and now.

Networking Defined

The term networking comes from fishing. A fisherwoman casts her net into the ocean. It spreads over a wide area. After time she reels the net in. As she reels the net in she catches many fish, often many different types of fish. She may be after tuna, but her net has caught shrimp, cod and other varieties. Some she will throw back in the water, (dolphin for instance) because ethically she knows it’s the right thing to do. Some she will keep for herself. The rest she will give to the others, usually her friends and relationships she respects, who specialize in the various other fish. Networking is the same thing. You throw out your net, sharing what you do and what you are looking for into your ocean of relationships. After a time, you reel your net in, by following up and keeping in contact. Your net will bring in various bits of information. You will toss some, keep some and share some. Who will you share them with? Friends and business relationships, you respect, who specialize in the various other fields.

4 steps to creating an effective network

As I began to share this definition with this group of professional friends, I asked if it was all right if I do a process with them about networking. They agreed. I went around the table and asked them to share their name, what they do, how they do it and what they hope to have in five years. As we went around the table it was intriguing to find out the various specializations that these professionals had. What was more exciting, funny and revealing was the response from the listeners. Each time a member presented we would hear from someone – “I didn’t know that, my company is looking for….” Or “Can I recommend you for this consulting project? We’ve been looking for someone for the last year and you’re perfect”. Here was a group of women who communicate regularly, but didn’t know exactly what each did on a daily basis. They didn’t know the passion that each person had about a particular project.

Two important revelations occurred. One was a sense of relief among the group because they are often called on to recommend someone, but they felt that they didn’t know anyone. Yet in a matter of minutes they had seven experts that they could easily recommend. It was a revelation that they had access to the high caliber people in their own circle of friends. The second was that several of the woman had their own consulting companies and without even a sales pitch, were being recommended for a project that was their forte. It was revealing to everyone that business is built on trust, recommendations and referrals – and that they had easy access to all three.

How can you do this right now? You can start by following the following four steps. Creating, Casting, Reeling and Sharing. It is a process, and in the beginning it requires determination, persistence and practice. Remember that you are among friends and acquaintances, people who support you and want you to succeed. Don’t be afraid – your among friends – go fishing!

Creating the Net

In order to create your net you should have three things. 1) A clear short description for what you do. Your elevator speech. Can you describe what you do in the time of a typical elevator ride? If not develop a short, concise “elevator speech”. 2) A goal you want to achieve in your professional career. Have you defined where you want to be in the next five years? What position would you like to hold? Do you know what you need to get there? (We will be discussing all of these net creation techniques in future articles). 3) A willingness to help others get what they want. You need to be open to listening to what others are saying. What are they looking for? Do you have anyone in your group of friends, family and associates who can help?

Casting the Net

When you are at your next professional meeting, or at a family gathering with cousins or your next “girlfriend” get together, cast your net. Share this article with them. Practice your elevator speech. Tell them what you are looking for and ask them to think if they know any leads. Ask about their “elevator speech.” What are they looking for and search your own mind for connections?

Reeling It in

Two weeks later, or a few days later look through your database. You will find that you may have a couple of people who could help one of your professional colleagues. As you are surfing the Net you will come across an article that would be helpful to another Colleague, who was part of your “casting Group”. Before you know it, you may receive a phone call from one of the members of your “casting group”, she has a lead for you. You share your excitement about the information you’ve found that will help the others. Of course, that information was always there, you just didn’t know who could use it.

Sharing With Friends and Associates

Later you’re on the phone with Sonia, your professional colleague and dear friend, and share what you have found. Remind her to look through her database for any connections. The more you begin to look, listen and share the more opportunities come your way. People want to he
lp people they like. They want to help you.

From Sharing Your Town to Sharing Yourself

The awareness and sense of pride we get when we see our community from a tourist’s perspective is what we feel when we share our accomplishments, goals and skills with others. Just as a visitor feels enthusiasm for your community, a colleague feels the same way about your accomplishments, skills and goals. They know how hard it is to get where you are. They understand the challenges. They know what you stand for since they have been friends with you for awhile and they like how you are, (they wouldn’t stay in contact if they didn’t). Those are all pluses for both of you. She will refer you and you will refer her. That’s what networking is all about!