Category: Women In Business

The last couple of weeks we’ve been talking about negotiating your mindset and why it’s your first and most important negotiation. As promised, we’re going to continue exploring simple techniques you can use to take control of your mindset and in so doing, take control of your life.

If you missed the first two parts of the series, you can check them out here. Part I  and Part II

Choose the Direction of Your Focus

Let’s talk about the law of attraction and why getting intentional about your focus is key. Your point of attraction will become your reality. Simply put, you will attract more of what you focus on … even if it’s what you think you’re trying to repel. If you continue to focus on what’s wrong in your life, you will continue to get more of that. The good news is that the opposite is also true. As you focus on what’s right, you’ll see more of it.

Choose an Abundance Mindset

I invite you to ask yourself whether you come at life from a scarcity mindset or an abundance mindset. Do you worry that there’s not enough … whether it’s money, resources, time or love? Or do you believe there is an infinite amount available – that we live in and have access to absolute abundance? If you accept the law of attraction as a foundational starting point, you’ll quickly see that approaching life from a scarcity mindset is self-sabotaging as you’ll never live into the abundance that’s waiting for you. Why not choose to believe you have all the time in the world you need. And that there is limitless love available to (and from) you in every moment. That the resources you need are available at your bidding … you need only tap into the outpouring.

Get a New Perspective

Another simple way to shift your focus is to shift your perspective. Take stock of your life from a new frame of reference. There are a number of ways to do this. One is to imagine yourself rising up in a hot air balloon, examining your situation from above. This higher viewpoint can give new perspective on our perceived problems.

Alternatively, you can visualize yourself in a submarine looking through the periscope at your situation i.e. taking a glimpse from below to look upward. This can help lift you from the depths and avoid tunnel vision and its associated risks. Don’t underestimate how powerful a perspective shift can be.

In addition to the perspective shift of looking down from above, or up from below, also consider a linear perspective switch. i.e. looking back to where you’ve come from and forward to where you want to go. As circumstances change, things we took for granted may now bring gratitude and things that seemed daunting or untenable may now seem insignificant.

COVID is a perfect example of this phenomenon. Think about the things you saw as problems in your life pre-pandemic. Do they still look as serious or significant? Think about the simple things you took for granted (like toilet paper, social engagement, physical touch). Are you able to renew your appreciation for them and look at them with fresh eyes – appreciate them as beautiful luxuries and evidence of abundance?

Perspective shifts allow us the opportunity to reinvent ourselves, to hit reset as we re-evaluate how we’re living and take stock of how we want to spend our time – that precious commodity. I invite you to ask yourself: what perspective can I choose to even more fully live my life on purpose and with purpose?

Let the Universe Inspire You

Speaking of perspective, have you ever lay on your back looking up at a star-studded night sky? As you let yourself relax into it, you’ll see more stars magically start to appear before your eyes. You’ll likely also feel a deeper sense of peace sweep over you. This is a beautiful analogy for life. As you allow yourself to relax in your life, to step away from the frenetic energy of a ‘to do’, task-driven mindset, you will see and feel more. You can celebrate our ultimate connectedness to each other, to Mother Earth, to the universe and beyond. Let the universe ground and inspire you.

Choose to Release Worry

Catastrophizing and running worst-case scenarios never ends well. So why do we spend so much time worrying? It’s arguably one of the most useless and destructive human emotions. We’ve already talked about controlling where your focus goes and controlling the meaning you attach to your thoughts so I won’t repeat myself. But here are a few practical tips and tools to stop casting big dark shadows over your life from worrying over small things.

If worrisome thoughts are crowding out your peace of mind, take a moment to do a quick ‘worry dump’. Jot down all the negative, worried thoughts about your ‘what if’’ scenarios. In fact, consider keeping a Worry Dump journal, so you can periodically review your worries and start to see patterns. The immediate benefit of a ‘worry dump’ is that it gets the thoughts (and their destructive power) out of your head and strips them of power.

Make sure to challenge your worries by asking yourself the following questions as you jot them down:

• Is this really true?
• Is there a more positive spin or potential outcome?
• What is the likelihood of this thing I’m worrying about actually coming to pass?
• Is this worry helping me?

This simple exercise should lead you to a more positive outlook as you chip away at the foundation of your worry.

Sometimes a simple pattern interrupt will suffice to disrupt the worry cycle. Stop yourself from hitting the spin cycle by tuning in your awareness and taking action with intention, whether it’s as simple as breathing, getting up and moving, choosing a humorous distraction … or anything that breaks the worrisome thought patterns in the moment.

Last week we started this series on negotiating your mindset. I believe the subject warrants a series as all of life is a negotiation and negotiating your mindset is your most important one. Your inner voice and inner chatter will determine the meaning you attach to things, which in turn will determine your emotional state, which in turn will determine your experience of life. Most people allow their inner critic to take centre stage in their brain and never seize control of their own internal negotiations.

If you missed the intro last week, check it out so you can build the foundation necessary to manage your mindset and choose your state with intention.

Gifts of Gratitude

A simple and powerful technique to manage your mindset and shift out of negative states is to remind yourself of things you can be grateful for now … in this moment. Even in your seemingly darkest hours, gifts abound all around you. In our busy ‘to do’ lives, we often forget to appreciate (or even recognize) these gifts. They become background white noise as we focus on what we don’t have or on what’s not going right.

If you’re having trouble finding terra firma, and want a simple step to reclaim solid ground beneath your feet, simply pause. Take a moment to think of something you are grateful for in that moment. It can be something simple (maybe the feel of the sun or wind on your face) or something more emotionally resonant (the love of someone in your life) or even the breath flowing into your lungs.

You will always find something to be grateful for if you take the time to consider it with intention. Let yourself revel in it for a moment. Breathe it in. It’s impossible to stay in a state of anger, resentment, fear, angst, disappointment (or the range of other negative emotions that disempower us) while in a state of gratitude. Feel the freedom in that gratitude.

Strength In Service

An effective sister technique to appreciating the gifts that abound around you is to also ask yourself “what gifts can I bring”? Coming from a place of service and generosity can be the most powerful gift you can give yourself. It lifts your vibration to a higher plane and releases endorphins, inspiring feelings of well-being and joy. I invite you to ask yourself what gift you can share with the world.

Power of Thoughts

You’ll notice that both the above simple techniques involve choosing your thoughts. I always advocate the importance of getting intentional about the thoughts you choose. This will always serve you, but now, during these unusual times, where we’re spending more time alone, I urge you to get serious about taking control over the thoughts you allow in. We recognize the importance of paying attention to what food we put in our bodies for our physical health. Think of monitoring your internal mental dialogue as mental hygiene.

The thoughts you allow in and the meaning you attach to those thoughts will determine your reality. Sift through the chatter in your mind and consider starting the practice of asking yourself “Does it serve me to allow this to take up space in my head right now?”

According to the Cleveland Clinic, the average person has 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thoughts, 95% repeat each day. And sadly, on average, 80% of those repeated thoughts are negative. Consider the destructive power of that kind of defeatist repetition. Our brain believes what we tell it, which is why our expectations are so often realized (the good, the bad and the ugly). So, I invite you to expect the best. It takes no more effort.

Your thoughts are the gateway between where you are now and where you want to go. Change your internal dialogue. Change your thoughts, change your outcomes.

Love Yourself Unconditionally 

The most important starting point in monitoring your thoughts is to love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself your imperfections. Reconnect with yourself and get to a place where you enjoy spending time with yourself. Be self-centered – in the sense that you’re grounded and centred in and with yourself. Go out into the world from that place.

Live Fully Present

Remember that life is made up of moments. Every moment matters. So, it makes sense to be fully present in each moment. Presence is one of the most valuable gifts you can give – to yourself and to others in your life. Ask yourself if you’ve been living your life with intention in the moment. Or have you been racing toward some imaginary finish line? If you’re thinking about the finish line (whether for a particular task, project or endgame) it’s unlikely that you’re living in the moment. If you’re in survival mode, or waiting for something to ‘be over’, or waiting for ‘one day’, then you’re not fully living.

And the good news is that you can hit the reset button now. You can choose your reality by choosing the thoughts you allow in. Choose gratitude. Choose to love yourself unconditionally. Choose to live fully present in each moment.

Last week we talked about avoiding the pitfall of attachment in your negotiations. A recent coaching call had prompted the subject. But there was more to the story. I thought this week we’d extend the lessons from that seemingly simple exchange to increase your influence and persuasiveness in negotiation. Because success in bargaining ultimately depends on your ability to influence and persuade.

After my caller had determined whether she still wanted the deal, we jumped into a few of the elements of my negotiating systems to see how she could best navigate her next steps. If you recall, the parties had reached a tentative agreement in principle when the issue of value was raised. It was a trigger and caused the other party to back away from the deal.

It was time to go deeper in my No F.E.A.R Negotiating model. As we discussed last week, first I wanted to explore that often-ignored important question: “Does the deal still make sense for you?”. It’s critical to avoid getting so attached to a deal that you continue to bargain after it’s no longer advantageous for you. This consideration is the ‘A’ of the No F.E.A.R system – no attachment.

Now let’s turn back to the ‘F’ – fear. Fear sometimes drives us in our negotiations, often unwittingly. I asked my friend to consider what fears may have kicked in for her and for the other party when the issue of value came up. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of losing, fear of missing out, fear of the unknown … even fear of success are the usual suspects. Recognizing these fears – in yourself and in the other party – will go a long way to informing how you ought to show up to maximize your chance of success. Recognizing your own fears will allow you to dissolve them or use them to fuel you instead of derail you. Knowing the other party’s fears can be a powerful tool in a negotiation. You can use that knowledge to diffuse the fear and build trust or, where appropriate, use their fear to get them to a better place for both of you. Considering the fears of the other party also helps to build empathy, which will affect how you show up and help build trust.

And let’s not ignore the all-important ‘E’ – ego. You lose control of the negotiation if you let ego drive you as you’ll lose control of your ability to assess information accurately and with perspective. You’ll likely fail to recognize opportunities or alternatives that could deliver better outcomes. It was clear in this case that the issue of value triggered ego on both sides of the table. Ego shows up in many ways: need to win, need to look good, inability to admit you don’t know, talking too much, and wanting to be liked, to name a few. Recognizing when your ego has kicked in allows you to check it and regain control.

In this case, questioning my friend’s value had kicked in her self-esteem issues and with it her need to look good. Acknowledging this helped her get perspective on how she had contributed to things going sideways in the negotiation. It also allowed her to see that wanting to be liked had impaired her judgment when the other party became offended (and to explore whether that offence was genuine or a manipulation). Also, considering the impact of ego on the other party allowed her to get intentional about how to show up in renewing the talks. She was able to make a conscious, controlled choice to shelf her own ego and cater to the ego of her counterpart to get talks back on track.

That control took care of the ‘R’ – reactivity. It allowed her to avoid becoming reactive again herself, and minimized the chance of the negotiating counterpart becoming reactive. It allowed for a more productive discussion to ensue.

Try applying this simple No F.E.A.R system next time you negotiate. Ideally, you’ll want to build it into your pre-negotiation prep work to maximize your opportunity for success. But as with this case, even if you haven’t done that and your bargaining goes south, you can always take a step back, regroup, and bring this system to bear to get your negotiation back on track to get what you want.

A recent ‘coaching’ call reminded me of the importance of one of the fundamentals of negotiation. I received a call from a distraught colleague who had just lost a deal. They had reached an agreement in principle but then the conversation went sideways and fell off the rails. She was calling for help on how to get it back on track. It was immediately apparent that a basic negotiation principle had been abandoned or forgotten in the heat of the moment.

I see this mistake happen time and again. It’s heartbreaking to watch people lose great deals or jump into bad deals when a few simple tools could have made for a happier ending. In this particular case the deal was at the final stages when the issue of value came up. A few questions on my part made it clear that this was a trigger for both parties, so it wasn’t surprising that things got heated quickly. The other party had taken offence and had a mini meltdown as the deal spiraled out of reach. My colleague now regretted how it had ended and wanted to revive the deal.

I knew some simple tactics that could help achieve that goal but first I wanted to explore the often ignored most important question to consider.

“Are you sure this deal still makes sense for you?” I asked.

This would seem like an obvious thing to consider and yet too often we get so caught up in the chase of the deal that we don’t ensure we keep checking in to make sure the deal still makes sense. Whether it’s determining if the cost or price point is still viable, or if you can live with the terms, or if the relationship is even one you still want to entertain, we often overlook this vital check-in when we fear the deal is slipping away.

One of the elements of my No F.E.A.R. negotiation system is ‘no attachment’. Don’t ever get so attached to getting a deal that you continue to bargain long after it makes sense i.e. when the deal is no longer advantageous for you. Ideally, you always go into a negotiation with crystal clarity around your desired outcomes, where you’ve identified your objectives with specificity. This preparation includes consideration of your bottom line, awareness of the best alternatives to a negotiated settlement and the zone of potential agreement. This consideration should include both tangible and intangible elements of the deal.

In this case, it was clear my prospective new client had started to bargain against herself. Further, she was shaken by the other side’s meltdown and felt the need to right the perceived wrong. I reminded her of the old proverb – when someone shows you who they are, believe them – and I urged her to consider whether she was sure this was a long-term client relationship she wanted to maintain.

This simple exchange gave some perspective and allowed my friend to make a more informed decision about how to proceed. Clarity around your objectives at the outset gives you the certainty and confidence you’ll need to hold the requisite detachment. Not being too attached to the outcome is a powerful place from which to bargain. Be prepared to walk away from a deal if the outcome doesn’t serve you. Be confident in knowing (or trusting) that another deal is waiting around the corner. Great negotiators know when to walk away.

This confidence also allows you to be open to other alternatives. Remember, effective negotiating isn’t a competition. It isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about looking for better results and creative solutions that exceed both parties’ expectations. Ironically, being intentional about not getting too attached to the deal increases the likelihood of securing your desired outcome … and more.

Are you your own best advocate? As women, we tend to bring our A-game advocating for others, but often leave that Momma bear at home when advocating for ourselves. I recently interviewed Heather Hanson (CEO of Advocate to Win) for my Art of Feminine Negotiation podcast and we explored the idea of women achieving greater results for themselves by advocating with the tools of a trial attorney. I thought I’d share these hot tips with you here. And the beauty is that you don’t have to go to school for 19+ years to get your law degree and you don’t have to incur the debt of student loans to access this powerful strategy!

You’ve no doubt heard me observe that all of life is a negotiation. Similarly, we all advocate every day. What if you brought the secret weapons of a trial lawyer to bear in your daily advocacy on behalf of yourself? Imagine the power that would come with adopting that approach, with intention to your daily life.

You’ve also no doubt heard me expound that the most important negotiation at the outset is the one with yourself. Heather applies this concept in reference to trial advocacy and so she’s dubbed it your ‘inner jury’. I love this concept. In the courtroom, juries decide between the ‘stories’ (sides) they’re presented with which one they’ll choose to believe. Your inner jury makes decisions every day about which story you tell yourself it ought to believe. Whether it’s competing stories about whether you’re enough (smart enough, powerful enough, pretty enough); scarcity versus abundance; hope versus despair; fear versus faith; … the list goes on.

What if you could apply a litigator’s toolkit first to your inner jury and then to your outer jury?

Let’s start with your language. The best trial attorneys are known for their skill at wordplay and clever use of language to increase their persuasive abilities. You use words every day as well. Think of the increased potential power if you got more intentional about the language you used … with yourself and beyond. Language matters. Our inner voice can either uplift us or shackle us. The words we use can increase our confidence or shake our sense of self. They can create optimism and strength or sap our energy and hope. Choosing to use empowering language with yourself will make you more powerful and allow you to show up as the best version of yourself.

Similarly, the language you use with your ‘outer jury’ will determine your level of influence. Let’s face it, effective advocacy is all about maximizing your influence. And if you think you don’t have an ‘outer jury’, think again. As Heather points out, we all have outer juries, whether it’s your family, friends, clients, etc. The language I use to get my desired outcome with my kids is not the same language I’d use with my intimate partner and certainly not the language I’d use with my clients or with opposing counsel. You get the idea. I invite you to get intentional about your words and how you use them. Don’t risk losing your jury when a little consideration about your messaging could save the day.

Another key to effective advocacy is credibility. You need it in the courtroom, and you need it in life. Again, this starts with your inner jury. You won’t be your most effective advocate unless you believe yourself. I mean that in both senses of the word. You need to believe in yourself. Your self-worth has to be non-negotiable. And you need to believe in your position in order to convince your outer jury to believe in you and whatever you’re advocating for.

Under Heather’s system, she notes that the jury is not there to judge – they’re there to choose. Your inner jury needs to choose what will serve you to help you get what you want in life. Your job is to help your own inner jury “choose the side that will serve you”. Your job as an advocate vis-à-vis the outer jury is to help them choose your position.

Another litigator’s tool is the power of questions. How often have you watched a suspenseful court scene in a movie or T.V. show and wished you wielded the power to have someone ‘succumb’ to your will? The good news is that you don’t have to cross-examine your loved ones or other contacts to get the results you want. Heather and I agree that the starting point is always asking yourself powerful questions to get clarity on what you want, need and how to get there. Once you have that clarity, consider how you can more effectively use questions to sway or move your outer jury to your position. And remember that you’re not trying to overpower or trick your jury. You need your jury to get where you want them to go. In court, we build our arguments through the use of strategic questions. And so can you.

One of the things you’ll want to use those questions for is creating perspective. In the courtroom, one sides presents their version or story. Opposing counsel’s job is then to offer the other perspective. The same holds true in your life. When faced with adversity, obstacles, resistance, your job is to find and give the other side of that story its voice. There is always another perspective. Find that other way of looking at the situation. First for your inner jury, and then for the outer jury.

Once you’ve uncovered the other story, you’ll need to find evidence to support it. For your inner jury, the key is often just allowing yourself to discover that other story – not buying in to the old story that no longer serves you. Once you do that, your brain will work to find evidence to support that reality for you. But be careful. Your brain will try to find that evidence whether you ask it for evidence to the limiting story or the more empowered story. Be sure to choose the empowered version of the story. Re the outer jury, remember your goal is to get them to choose your story. To do that, you need to give them the evidence to support it.

So now, go forth with your new trial advocacy tools and try them out. Practice them. Use them to become your best advocate … to get more of what you want and deserve in life.

Do you ever feel like there is a powerhouse inside you just waiting to come out? If so, you’re right! We all have a powerhouse ready to be released. The key is to nurture the powerhouse mindset to realize your full potential and unleash her to the world. Speaking of powerhouse women, I interviewed Tracy Holland recently for our Art of Feminine Negotiation podcast and wanted to share her insights on this important issue. Tracy built Hatch Beauty from a startup to an award-winning recognized global leader and now spotlights innovation and helps women entrepreneurs amplify their voice and impact.

Here are some hot tips on how to negotiate from your potential to your inner powerhouse.

Negotiate With Yourself

You’ve no doubt heard me say that all of life is a negotiation and the most important initial negotiation is the one with yourself. Tracy agrees. She advocates first negotiating with yourself to up-level. Make sure you’re setting a high enough bar for yourself. Don’t think small. Ask yourself if your ambitions are bold and audacious enough, if you’re thinking big enough, if your perspective is broad enough. Invite yourself to question if perhaps you’re settling. Are you limiting yourself based on what you think you can safely accomplish or are you willing to go for what you believe might be possible? Dare to ask “how big a vision can I have”?

Once you’ve honestly explored the possibilities, then it’s a good idea to determine if it’s what you really want. So often in life – especially as women – we do what we believe is expected of us rather than pursuing our true passions or purpose. The key is to find that balance between ensuring that what you want feels like an aspirational stretch for you and that it’s something that gets you fired up. You want to feel a little tingly at the prospect. You want to ignite your passion and keep that wick lit.

Doing this exercise at the outset of any new venture is critical. And it’s also important to check in with yourself every few months to recalibrate your vision. Take it out (so to speak), hold it up to the light (metaphorically) and really assess, with an open mind and heart, whether or not it still fits and feels right for you.

Avoid Split Energy

Once you’ve set your intentions and gotten clarity around what you want, consider doing a further check-in with yourself to ensure there’s no internal conflict. You’ll want to ensure you’re not undermining your own progress and momentum because of underlying split energies. If you have limiting beliefs or blocks around the vision you’ve set for yourself, it creates an inner tension and conflict that results in split energy and will hold you back from achieving your full potential. If you have split energy around what you want and what you think is possible, your internal negotiation for space around what’s possible will take time and energy away from where you’re heading. It’s impossible to step forward as your best self when you’ve got that split energy happening.

Get Clear About Your Core Beliefs

I invite you next to get clear about what your core values are. These values are the lens through which you see the world. These fundamental beliefs you carry around will impact on how you speak, how you show up, how you connect with others, how you feel about yourself, how you perform and ultimately on your level of success.

Many people go through life not even aware of the limiting beliefs and values they’ve been carrying around. It’s tough to take control of your life if you’re unaware of the values that drive you. The projection of those beliefs onto other people or situations powerfully impacts on how you interpret what you see, how you interpret others’ reactions to you and also inevitably on the meaning you attach and accordingly your own reactions.

Exploring your values and belief systems allows you to consider, with intention, whether they support what you’re trying to achieve or hinder your progress. The powerful mindset shift around choosing your values and beliefs can lead to delicious new experiences and ways of being as you get more purposeful about how you live your life. It’s food for thought and food for your soul.

Tap Into Your Feminine

All the world is energy. And we all have both masculine and feminine energy. But for too long, our society has bought into the myth that it’s a ‘man’s world’. Our definition of success seemed to be crafted almost exclusively based on a masculine model. And so, many women developed and stepped into their masculine, believing that was the only way to succeed, to be heard, to be respected.

We come to believe that our masculine is what gives us confidence. We buy into the idea that to hold power we need to walk into a room forgetting our feminine. It can feel like wearing that masculine energy is an antidote to marginalization. That it somehow allows us to stand out and speak up and disagree in a roomful of men. To state our opinion even if it isn’t popular.

If this resonates with you at any level, I invite you to get reacquainted with the power of your feminine. Reconnect with the secret weapon of the art of feminine negotiation. Rediscover the power of persuasion that comes from rapport-building, empathy, flexibility, intuition and trust. Explore the edges of where both your feminine and masculine energies stop and start. Embrace the best parts of your feminine. Recognize the power and strength there. Find your authentic centre and let that fuel you.

Let Go of Your Shoulds

Beware of falling prey to your ‘shoulds’. Should is a powerful word that can lead you down a dark and difficult path if misused. When you find yourself self-recriminating that you ‘should’ have done this or ‘shouldn’t’ have done that, it’s time to take a step back to regroup. When you find yourself doing things you don’t want to do because of others’ expectations (or perceived expectations) of you, it’s time to do the recalibration exercise noted above.

If you let your calendar become full of ‘shoulds’ you run the risk of losing your passion and purpose … of feeling trapped and unfulfilled. Ask yourself how much of your day is really coming from a place of impassioned focus where the creative energy and juices are flowing freely versus coming from a place of obligation and expectation. When your should overtake your desires your motivation will dry up and your passion with it.

As women in particular, we tend to be driven by a desire to please and serve as caregiver. With that typically comes a ‘to do’ mentality where we focus on all the things we need to get done.  And we keep putting our own dreams and passions and aspirations on hold in what I’ve come to call the ‘ one day’ mindset. When I finish school, when I have kids, when the kids are gone, when this happens, when that happens. There’s always something else we think needs to happen, and we keep pushing down our own desires, passions and purpose.

This was actually the impetus for my daughter and I to create the Purpose Planner. Instead of being a ‘to do’ driven planner, it’s designed specifically for women to refocus on living your life more fully on purpose and with purpose.

What makes this Purpose Planner different and in a league of its own is that we focus on those things that get you closer to your life-vision, inspire your passion, improve your quality of life, and make you the best version of yourself.

Living into your best life involves living with intention.

This planner will help you:

• Design your life.

• Create clarity about who you want to be and how you want to show up.

• Focus on what really matters.

• Breathe into each moment.

• Live powerfully present with rekindled purpose and passion.

• Live into your dreams and vision.

• Live into your limitless life!

At Women On Purpose we’re passionate about helping you live into your passion and focus on those things that get you closer to living your life-vision.

Hope you got some insights that you can incorporate into your life to step into your inner powerhouse. Here’s to a new way of being.

Welcome to the final part of our Abundance series! I hope you’ve found some value and are taking steps to realize the fullness of the abundant life that’s waiting for you. So far we’ve explored (i) the power of the psychology of wealth and how to get it ; (ii) how to identify and neutralize blocks stopping you from achieving the abundance you deserve ; (iii) how to manifest your desire ; and how to invoke the power of beliefs and power of questions as well as how to overcome fear of failure and fear of ‘no’.  Today we’re going to canvass a powerful exercise to deepen your appreciation of this important subject.

Let’s swap out your disempowering beliefs with more empowering ones. To that end, I invite you to ask yourself:

What belief systems have you developed that could be preventing you from maximizing your potential?

Dig deep. Make a list of your disempowering beliefs.

The limiting and destructive beliefs I’ve held in the past are …

[List as many as you can think of]

By way of example, here were just a few of my destructive and limiting beliefs around money:

• Wanting too much money makes me materialistic.
• It’s what I’ve fought against as a social justice attorney.
• Seeking money would make me a hypocrite.
• With money I’d be seen as ‘one of them’.
• People would see me differently.
• People would take advantage of me.
• Money doesn’t come easily to people like me.
• I don’t have the contacts to make big money.

Once you’ve prepared a fulsome list of your disempowering beliefs (about money and other abundance elements eluding you), next, go over the list and ask yourself the following questions vis-à-vis each item:

What are the consequences of those beliefs?

What opportunities have I lost?

In what ways have I suffered?

What have these beliefs cost me?

[List as many consequences as you can think of]

Let yourself really sit in the feelings those consequences conjure up for you. Allow yourself to feel the full weight of the costs. Invoke all your senses to deepen the experience.

Then it’s time to flip those old stories and substitute them with a new belief system that will propel you into the abundant life you deserve. To that end, ask yourself:

What beliefs do you hold (or can you adopt) to catapult you to reach your dreams more quickly?

Consider what you would have to believe in order to feel more empowered and to succeed. What new reality could you adopt to catapult you to a better reality?

Make a list of these new beliefs.

The expansive and constructive beliefs I now adopt going forward are …

  [List as many as you can think of]

By way of example, here were a few of my new substituted empowering beliefs around money:

• I am rich.
• I deserve to get everything I want.
• I can do great things with money.
• Having money won’t tarnish me or change me – it will empower me to be more of me and to do great things I was destined to do.
• I am abundance unleashed.
• I am infinitely powerful to create unlimited wealth.
• Opportunities are everywhere – I just have to reach out and grab them.
• I am a money-making machine.

Where does your abundance feel stuck? Is it around money? Time? Love? Freedom? Go through this exercise for each of your abundance blocks so you come away with a new more powerful way of thinking, of believing, of being.

Discover the secret weapon of the Art of Abundance! At a time when the economic world is changing and adapting, chaos and stress can disguise immense opportunity to thrive. When others struggle in uncertainty, you can find your greatest opportunity. I invite you to start building this new abundant mindset now and act on it. Don’t wait to start building after the dust settles.

As you negotiate your comeback from the setback of these uncertain times, imagine the power of being able to confidently navigate the road to abundance and success so you can get what you want and deserve from the boardroom to the bedroom.

If this sounds attractive to you, if you’re ready to kickstart your new abundant life, consider joining our new Abundance Breakthrough program. It’s a 3-month success reset program to help you realize the fullness of the abundant life that’s waiting for you. You’ll neutralize the blocks getting in your way and develop your new wealth psychology to manifest your desires and achieve the success that’s waiting for you. It’s your time!

I felt compelled to write this series as too many people seem to be suffering in these unusual times, holding themselves in a place of fear, blocking themselves from stepping into the abundance that surrounds them. We all deserve abundance. You deserve an abundant life. Now is your time to embrace it.

So far we’ve explored (i) the psychology of wealth as the foundation for your maximum success ; (ii) abundance blocks stopping you from achieving the success you deserve ; (iii) how to manifest your desire. Today we were going to canvass some exercises to deepen your appreciation of this important subject. However, as noted above, in Part I we explored the importance of having an abundant mindset i.e. that to attain true wealth you need to develop the psychology of wealth. I received some questions about that and so think it’s worthwhile to explore the power of beliefs in a little more depth.

Power of Beliefs

Never under-estimate the power of your beliefs. I was able to successfully start my own law firm, against all odds, because I had an unshakable belief that it would happen. Ironically, I can’t profess that I was enlightened at the time and invoked the power of positive thinking with intention. Frankly, I was just lucky enough that I didn’t know any better. Having grown up in a low rental apartment building to a family that owned virtually no assets and had no business experience, I had very little knowledge about how the business world worked. And so, when I decided to start my own firm, I just assumed, with the naiveté of youth, that of course it would happen. It didn’t cross my mind that I would even hit any roadblocks, let alone the possibility of failure.

In hindsight, that naiveté was my greatest asset. It was my absolute unquestioning conviction that it would come to pass that allowed me to show up with the confidence to make it happen. I had no money, no assets, no credit, no clients assured, no space secured – not even a business plan to speak of. All the odds were stacked against me. But I didn’t know it. And that was a gift. When I met with the bank manager, I exuded such certainty that she gave me a line of credit to get started. The other beauty of my ignorance is that the line of credit was actually so modest that it shouldn’t really have sufficed. But again, given my background, it seemed like a lot of money to me. I felt rich. I felt abundant. And so I was.

I went on to grow a multi-million-dollar law firm – because I believed I could.

The opposite is also true. As we discussed in Part II, when we carry money baggage and blocks, we can undermine our success and prospects. If you recall, I shared that I had resistance to money, having grown up believing that the rich were greedy and exploitative. Money doesn’t go where it’s not wanted and so I repelled the fullness of success that could have been mine … until I was able to let go of that baggage.

By way of example, I remember the first time we bought a Cadillac Escalade. I loved that vehicle. It was the lushest and smoothest riding vehicle I’d ever owned. But I confess that at some level I was embarrassed of it. It seemed decadent and extravagant. As if I’d turned my back on my roots. When I drove up to a hearing location, if I saw my clients outside the building, I’d drive around to the back so they couldn’t see me show up in my fancy wheels. And what do you think happened to my beloved Cadillac? We lost it. We ran into a tight financial spot and ended up trading in the Cadillac to lease a lesser vehicle. I’m now convinced that it was my resistance, my baggage, my blocks that caused me to self-sabotage and lose the vehicle.

Can you think of an example in your life where you’ve self-sabotaged and prevented yourself from getting to the next level?

Fear of Failure

Also as touched on in Part II, our fears can block our abundance in life. Fear of failure is a big culprit in this regard. Allow me to try to shift your mindset on the issue of failure. What if instead of mourning your failures and hanging your head in mortified dejection, you celebrated them? What if failure is the only path to sustainable success, if you need to fail your way to success, to go through failure to succeed?

Thomas Edison ‘failed’ at creating the light bulb countless times. It was only through those failures, and his persistence and willingness to fail that he achieved success. Is he known for the so-called failures? No. He’s lauded as a genius. Abraham Lincoln apparently failed twice in business and lost 8 out of 10 elections before becoming President of the United States. Do you remember Lincoln for those failures? No. He’s credited with abolishing slavery and considered by many to be the most influential U.S. President in history.

It’s through your failures that you learn, grow, improve and ultimately succeed. Be willing to fail better. I invite you to start a new tradition. In addition to your celebrations, incorporate failabrations; celebrate your failures and recognize that without them you wouldn’t find your way forward. Letting go of your fear of failure will help catapult you to your abundant new self.

Fear of ‘No’

Similarly, fear of ‘no’ will sabotage you from leading your most abundant life. What if women suffragists had given up fighting for the right to vote after being told ‘no’? What if abolitionists like Harriet Tubman and the countless other brave women who fought against slavery had given up when told ‘no’? You get the idea. I invite you to consider that your fear of rejection, of hearing the word ‘no’ may be the thing standing between you and your best self – between you and getting what you want and deserve (from the boardroom to the bedroom).

Check out our blogpost Go For No on this exact issue, where we explore the secret to shift your mindset and to desensitize yourself to the word ‘no’ and to use it as a source of empowerment.

Power of Questions

What’s another positive strategy to help you step into more abundance? Tied to the power of our beliefs is the power of questions. If you ask bad questions, you’ll get bad answers. The opposite is also true. If you ask better questions, you’ll get better answers. Maybe it’s time to start asking yourself better questions.

Your brain gives you what it thinks you want. It determines what it thinks you want by the thoughts you feed it. If you expect the worst and ask negative questions, your brain will look for examples to support the negative thoughts, thinking it’s giving you what you want. Why not train your brain to give you the best, to think the best, to expect the best, and to look for examples of the best the world has to offer?

The reticular activating system of our brain is like a supercomputer. Think of it like a Google search bar. If you ask limiting questions, you’ll get limiting answers. If you train yourself to ask more empowered and empowering questions, you’ll get more empowered and empowering answers and so be able to lead a more powerful life.

I invite you to get out of the habit of asking limiting questions like, “Why does nothing good ever happen to me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the world?” Imagine instead, waking up every day and asking yourself, “How can I share even more joy, gratitude and love today?” Can you feel the difference in that? When you start each day with that empowering question, your brain will look for solutions and examples. What’s a positive powerful question you could ask yourself today that if your brain put energy into solving it would give you better results?

I encourage you to get intentional about choosing a mindset of hope, optimism and abundance. That starts with asking yourself more powerful questions.

I hope this has given you food for thought on your path to greater abundance.