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Growth Health and Wellness

Dear Katherine: Why is My Granddaughter So Moody? — Conscious Parenting Revolution

Hello, Conscious Parent! Welcome to “Dear Katherine,” a monthly Q&A with real-life parents/caregivers. If you’d like to submit a question of your own, email me at katherine@consciousparentingrevolution.com.

Dear Katherine,

I have an 11-year-old granddaughter whose emotions are all over the place. Recently, she came home from school in an especially angry mood. I could tell something had happened, but when I asked her about it, she yelled that it was none of my business and slammed the door in my face.

What should I do? Should I give her space? I never know how to respond to her in situations like this.


Concerned Grams

Dear Concerned Grams,

First, I want to give you some good news: “bad” behavior at home means a child feels certain they’re loved no matter what.

Your granddaughter knows she can let her hair down and be difficult in front of you because you’ve created a safe place for her to fall apart. If she were to exhibit this kind of behavior at school, it would be a symptom of a much bigger problem.

But Concerned Grams, I know this assurance doesn’t fix the problem you’re having.

What you and your granddaughter are experiencing is a classic communication breakdown. Neither of you has the necessary tools to reach the other, so you’re caught in a rut of ill-expressed feelings, hurt, and unmet needs.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind: children don’t have the sophisticated vocabulary or the maturity to identify their unmet needs. So 99% of the time, a child’s default reaction to emotional discomfort is to fall apart crying, screaming, kicking-or all three!

As the adults in the room, it’s our job to teach kids to self-regulate their emotions and effectively express what they need. Here’s what I recommend:


No matter how personal your granddaughter’s behavior may feel to you, know that it’s not about you. Her yelling and slamming doors are symptoms of her own pain, and nothing else.

As Marshall Rosenberg once said, “Never listen to the words people say.” Your grandchild’s angry words will only trigger you. So when you feel emotions begin to rise, allow yourself self-empathy and self-compassion. Take a pause and step back. Once you’ve depersonalized, then you’ll be ready to re-engage.Once both you and your granddaughter have achieved a level of calmness, open a line of communication in a gentle, leading way.

Lead them out

Once both you and your granddaughter have achieved a level of calmness, open a line of communication in a gentle, leading way.

If you suspect the problem stems from friendships at school, for example, start with something like: “It seems like you’re feeling so distraught. You need to be seen as who you are, to be acknowledged and included, to have security in your relationships. Do you feel like one of your friends isn’t meeting these needs?”

Then listen to her response – with compassion and without judgment.

Help them name their unmet needs

Because children have trouble identifying their unmet needs, they blame external factors for how they feel.

If they’re excluded from a party invitation, for example, they feel so overwhelmed with negative emotions that the underlying unmet need (i.e. the need for belonging and friendship) goes unresolved.

Help your granddaughter express, “I feel… because my needs aren’t being met,” instead of letting factors she can’t control dictate how she feels inside.

Concerned Grams, when a kid is hurt, sad, or distressed, they have no idea how to reconnect in a meaningful way with those around them. But your concern is the first step to helping your granddaughter through whatever difficulties she’s experiencing.

Love and Blessings,


P.S. Want more support to transform your family dynamics? Join us for the 5 Day Parenting Reboot, launching September 13th!

Originally published at https://www.consciousparentingrevolution.com on August 27, 2021.

Growth Leadership Personal Development

This is Deeply Personal, but I’ll Say it Anyway… | Conscious Parenting Revolution

What I’m sharing today is my deeply personal journey in discovering my inner voice and learning to speak up for myself.

My mother, who I deeply adored, brought me up with a traditionally southern approach: one that prioritized being socially acceptable, pleasing, polite, and obedient.

None of these values are inherently wrong, but they can be dangerous. My upbringing inadvertently taught me to diminish myself. I lost sight of my feelings, stifled by my desire to please everyone else. For too long, my voice was silenced.

At 13 years old, I was sexually assaulted by a stranger while I was alone in our family store. I didn’t tell a soul for 40 years.

At 16, I was again sexually assaulted by my high school’s football coach. Again, it took me 40 years to share my story.

The #metoo movement, a movement that empowers people to find their “no,” breaks through society-imposed shame and shares the truth of their experiences.

In my TEDxGEM in France, I address my own journey to find my voice and speak up against sexual assault.

One of the most important things we can do as parents is teaching our kids to trust their inner voice and speak up for themselves. Our children need to know that being well-behaved and considerate does not require them to abandon their feelings, their boundaries, or their autonomy.

Let’s teach our kids that what they have to say is always important. Let’s teach them to speak up and speak loudly-for all the world to hear.

Originally published at https://www.consciousparentingrevolution.com on October 16, 2020.

Growth Leadership Skills

If I Ever Have Kids, I’ll Never… – 5 Principles of Conscious Parenting

At some point in our lives, we’ve all said this line when talking about our less-than-perfect childhoods: 


If I ever have kids, I’ll never……


….make them feel like they’re less than enough

….yell at them in the middle of the grocery store

…lash out or make unreasonable rules


None of us want to repeat the mistakes our (often well-intentioned) parents made raising us. And yet, we unconsciously find ourselves repeating the cycle.


I’m Katherine Sellery, 3x TEDx speaker, Founder & CEO of Conscious Parenting Revolution, and sought out “Pandemic Parenting” coach and expert who has helped thousands of parents, children and educators thrive during the COVID crisis. For my expertise, I was recently featured on Chicago, DC, and Atlanta & Co for my success in advocating for struggling parents and youth across our country. 


In a lively and engaging segment, I’d love to share with your audience 5 principles of conscious parenting that you can start working on now:


See your kids for who they are: human beings. Parents often forget that their kids have their own quirks, preferences, and boundaries, which might conflict with the parents’ way of doing things! Your task isn’t to raise a clone of yourself, but to help your child grow and develop into the unique individual that they are.


Listen with love

When voices are high or even hysterical—that’s when your child is telling you something important. You may feel the urge to yell right back, but you’ll learn a lot more if you can pause and listen instead.

Build them up, don’t tear them down

Being overly critical can undermine your child’s confidence, but so can too much praise. Work to acknowledge your child’s achievements in a neutral way. Let them know that it’s possible to be good at something but still have room for improvement.

Explain your reasoning

Children, even older children, may not understand the guidelines and boundaries you set for them at first. Take time to explain why they can’t watch TV for 4 hours straight or pouring milk all over dad’s laptop.

Be flexible

Your parenting style should adjust to the unique needs of your child—not the other way around! Practice the 4 principles above, keep in mind that what works for one child won’t necessarily work for another, and adapt accordingly.


Would you be interested in setting up an interview? I’ve included my bio below and can provide additional information as needed.







My Bio:

Katherine Sellery, CEO and Founder of Conscious Parenting Revolution, helps individuals minimize misunderstandings and melt-downs in order to communicate with more collaboration, cooperation, and consideration.


The creator of the Guidance Approach to Parenting, a program that applies conflict resolution skills to communicating more effectively with children, Katherine has positively influenced relationships for generations and brought about healing and reconciliation in families that were suffering from disconnection. For over 20 years, she has taught and coached thousands of parents, educators, social workers, and medical professionals in half a dozen countries through her popular workshops, coaching programs, TEDx talks, and her upcoming book. Katherine is also a trained mediator, attended Law School, has certifications in different trauma models, teaches a breathing meditation modality with the Art of Living Foundation, and ran her own commodities-trading business in Hong Kong for 30 years. 


Katherine is a 3x TEDx Speaker and has released a FREE ebook “7 Strategies to Keep Your Relationship With Your Kids from Hitting the Boiling Point.” For her expertise she has been featured on Atlanta & CoFox31 Denver, 4CBS Denver, CBS8 San Diego and has been a guest on over 20 podcasts.

Visit us at: www.consciousparentingrevolution.com

Follow us on: Facebook

Growth Health and Wellness

Want more parenting support? Try these 4 podcasts


Dear Parent,

We all know the irreplaceable value of a strong, inclusive, loving support group. From childhood to parenthood, small networks of family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and classmates give us a sense of belonging, protection, and camaraderie. 

Support feeds the soul. 

When you’re a parent, getting the right support is crucial. Whether your kid won’t stop yelling your name or isn’t interested in talking to you at all, there are times when you’re frustrated and stressed out. All you want is the sympathetic voice of a friend who knows what you’re going through (and maybe a glass of wine). 

You may have been disconnected from your usual support systems these last few months. I’ve discovered that a great podcast can help rebuild a sense of community. Listening to a wonderful podcast host feels a bit like a conversation with a wise and empathetic friend. 

I’ve had the honor of appearing on several podcasts in the last few weeks. If you’d like to learn more about the Guidance Approach to Parenting, please check out these episodes. 

If you like what you hear, I encourage you to listen to some other episodes and subscribe to these fantastic shows. 

The Sensory Project Show

Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill are certified occupational therapy assistants whose mission is to help families practice health and wellness in their daily lives. They’re light-hearted, funny, intelligent women with a fresh perspective on healthy family dynamics. Listen to my episode with Rachel and Jessica here.

The Blended Family Podcast

Melissa Brown addresses the challenges of having an extended and blended home life with personal stories based on her own family. She tackles difficult topics like having a healthy divorce, managing relationships between non-biological siblings, and “time sharing” with an ex. Her episodes aim to help blended families not only co-exist, but thrive. Listen to my episode with Melissa here.

Distraction Podcast

In our world full of bright, shiny objects, we all need some advice on managing distractions. Dr. Ned Hallowell, a New York Times best-selling author and ADHD expert, lends his expertise on minimizing distractions in your daily life. His bright, enthusiastic show offers practical advice and shows how issues like ADHD can transform into strengths. Listen to my episode with Dr. Ned here.

The Modern Mamas Podcast

Jess Gaertner and Laura Bruner embody modern motherhood: Laura is a certified nutrition consultant, Jess is a licensed athletic trainer with a master’s degree in kinesthesiology, both are CrossFit trainers, and mamas to their babies—whew! They interview guests about fertility, pregnancy, parenting, fitness, and holistic health, and spirituality. This duo is a blast to listen to! Listen to my episode with Jess and Laura here.

Which episode was your favorite? Hit reply and let me know!


P.S. These episodes are a great beginning to rethinking your relationship with your kids. If you’re ready to take the next step, check out my FREE webinar, 3 Common Mistakes Parents Make and How to Reverse Them.

​​Visit us at: www.consciousparentingrevolution.com
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