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7 Ways you can help stop boredom for your kids at home

“I’m bored.”

The words every parent recognizes — and likely dreads.

Our children are continually learning, socialising, and most have a busier calendar of birthday parties and playdates than we do. But, during the summer or less busy times, children often quickly find themselves looking for things to do.

From teens to tweens to little ones boredom is no stranger! We even get bored! Children aged between five and six years old are used to a structured routine. However, occasionally your routine may change or be less busy on some days or during holidays.

This leaves your kids not knowing what to do with themselves. Without an endless stream of activities to keep kids occupied outside of the house, here’s how to help them grow accustomed to days where there’s often a dull moment, so everyone stays sane.

Why your child gets bored

Boredom is a familiar feeling in children. Feeling irritated, unsatisfied, or uninterested by any activity can lead to boredom. Boredom occurs when your kid feels energetic but has no idea where to direct his energy. Boredom is a common complaint among children and adults, as well.

You or your child may become bored while engaged in an activity, due to:

  • Loss of interest
  • Confusing instructions
  • Fear of making a mistake
  • Repetition of the activity for too much time
  • Feeling unable to try new approaches to the activity

How you can use Conscious Parenting Guidance if your child is bored

Although you may too be feeling fraught at times with life so uncertain and a lack of any routine, it’s an opportunity to apply conscious parenting guidance, and not respond to them angrily or rudely.

Try these steps:

  • Don’t ask why your child is bored. That can be a roadblock in communication.
  • If your kids are frustrated, don’t respond in an angry or annoyed way. Take a deep breath and center yourself first.
  • Help your child recognize other emotional issues or feelings which you might have mistaken as boredom.
  • Ask open-ended questions to get their creative juices going.
  • Help your child find an engaging activity or one you can participate in together.
  • Your child may just be feeling bored temporarily. They may be trying to get your attention, or they may just want to play.

7 ways you can keep boredom at bay with your kids

That’s all very well, but what if your imagination of engaging activities is exhausted or you are busy and exhausted and do not have time to always entertain them?

Here are ideas for helping to stop the boredom at home.

Get Back To Nature

It’s the perfect opportunity to let their creativity thrive and spend some time nurturing plants and seeds which could grow in the garden or a window box.

Remember your childhood favorites

What about all the simple things you could entertain yourself doing for hours when you were a child. Maybe a good old fashioned paper airplane race?
How about finding a rope and skipping? Learning to hula-hoop? Remember all those rainy days you filled by playing hang-man?

Go High Tech

You don’t need to avoid all of the technology available. But as a conscious parent, you may want to guide your children towards some of the more socially conscious apps or encourage them to use their time on-line to build their blog.

Fix Things

How many items do you have on your fix-it list? Usually, we are time-poor, and it’s easier to throw something away and get another one when it breaks. This is the perfect opportunity to teach your child how to fix things. Maybe you can show your older children how to sew a button back into a shirt, or even learn together. There is an abundance of YouTube tutorials that will guide you through.

Music

Why not encourage your children to develop their music tastes? It’s the perfect time to explore their likes and tell them about a song of your favorite bands and songs.

Cook

What better way to get creative together than to cook together? You can concoct something from the cupboard, or follow a recipe along. It’s an opportunity to explore flavors and tastes and be present in making something creative for the family to enjoy. And, of course, if you’re baking, someone needs to lick the frosting from the spoon. It’s a rite of passage.

Put on a play

Or even a dance number. Learn it, perform it, and enjoy them getting into character and being someone else for a while. It’s an opportunity to learn empathy as they can see a situation from another’s eyes.

Why a little boredom can help your kids

These are all great ideas, but is a little boredom healthy for your child? Dr. Steve Silvestro says it’s essential to allow your child to be bored and that it can spark creativity — and that’s why some of us get our best ideas in the shower.

Doing the same routine every day, often at the same time of day, over and over again — it’s pretty dull in there. That dullness and monotony actually gives your brain freedom to wander and explore nooks and crannies of thought that you might not meander through at other parts of your day.

When children are bored, they have the luxury to allow their minds to explore in more detail. It gives the opportunity to get ingenious and creative.

Encourage your children to come up with some ideas themselves. You can build a “Thinking Spot” for your child. If you can create a space in your child’s room or a playroom with a comfy seat or pillow, paper & pencils, perhaps even small toys for inspiration, then when your child says that they are bored, suggest that she sit in the “Thinking Spot” and come up with ideas.

Boredom is completely normal. Dr. Dibya Choudhuri, a professor with the counselling program at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti says we didn’t have a word for boredom until the 19th century.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But very quickly it got a very bad rap. When children are left alone to figure something out, you’ll often be blown away by their ability to problem solve, and boredom gives this a chance to develop.

This is why it’s actually healthy to let your kids get bored for a certain amount of time.

Of course — none of this will stop the bleating cry of “I’m bored,” so it’s helpful to be prepared with your responses. Ignoring them doesn’t get you much peace. The best approach is to turn it into a positive. When you hear those fateful words, you can tell them, “I love it when I’m bored. I can get really creative with what I’m going to do next. I have time to think, and it’s up to me to do whatever I want to do.”

If you liked reading this blog post, then check out our blog post all about how to get some structure during chaos.

Categories
Body Language Growth Parenting

We Celebrate Black History month

February is Black History Month and we want to take this opportunity to highlight, honor and celebrate a few of the incredible contributions the Black community has made to science, the arts, politics and social justice.

Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, all three demonstrated the power to change society with non-violent conflict resolution. The lives they led continue to inspire ours and shed light on the way forward.

Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson, these three brilliant women who were depicted in the film Hidden Figures were major contributors to the US historic launch of John Glen into orbit.

Last year, the nation inaugurated its first Black vice president, a woman who previously held important roles as a former district attorney of San Francisco, as well as attorney general and a junior US Senator from California.

And at the inauguration of the President of the US, twenty-two year old Amanda Gorman recited her poem The Hill We Climb making her the youngest inaugural poet ever! The poem was a call for “unity and collaboration and togetherness” among the American people. It took my breath away and I offer you her poise, words of promise and hope and encouragement with this link to her inspirational address.

I was born in New Orleans, La. in the heart of the deep south and in the middle of the civil rights movement.

I believe that before the country can move past racial harm there needs to be truth, accountability and hopefully reconciliation. We need to have the difficult conversations.

There is always light.

  If only we’re brave enough to see it.

  If only we’re brave enough to be it.

-Amanda Gorman 29 Dec 2021

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Leadership Parenting Personal Development

How Attachment Parenting Works With Teens

Moms and dads usually experience Attachment Parenting when their kids are babies.

Then, the principles of Attachment Parenting seem easier. You were confident that you weren’t going to get pushed away if you held your child. And there was no such thing as too much love. Natural birth, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping are ways to nurture your baby.

At the root of attachment parenting lies attachment theory. It stems from psychologist John Bowlby’s studies of maternal deprivation and animal behavior research in the early 1950s. Attachment parenting focuses on developing that nurturing connection between you and your children. Bowlby viewed this as the best way to raise secure and empathetic children.

It’s done through the following ways:

  1. Love and respect
  2. Sensitivity
  3. Nurturing touch
  4. Constant loving care
  5. Positive discipline
  6. Balance in personal and family life

As our children get older, and lifestyle starts to kick in – say between 7 and 12 – where does that leave our teenagers? It can leave them feeling disconnected from you.

You can still apply Attachment Parenting as your children become teenagers. And you will find plenty of benefits at this critical time in their development.

When you think about your own teenage years, you are no doubt thinking it was a time of change. Many of which you were trying to navigate at breakneck speed. Your teen is going through exactly the same experience. And they, like you, are experiencing biological, cognitive, and social changes.

As teens try to come to terms with the upheaval, this is when they can develop unhealthy practices, like eating disorders and substance abuse. Risky sexual behavior, antisocial and delinquent activity and school dropout can also occur now in your kid’s lives.

Alongside the rapid biological changes, teens enter a new social-psychological phase of life. The amount of time spent with their parents drops, while time spent with peers increases.

There is a school of thought that parents make little difference in how teenagers cope. Instead of suggesting that peer influence dominates this period.

During the middle to late childhood, a child’s cognitive and social abilities improve, their knowledge base expands, and they become involved with peers.

While that’s true, growing evidence suggests parents do make a critical difference. And this operates through the nature of your attachment bond with your child. There’s an expectation that you will grant your child more autonomy.

So, how you negotiate the transition of the nature of the adolescent-parent attachment bond is paramount.

Teenagers who are attached to their parents tend to display higher levels of identity development. They also have self-concept and emotional regulation.

What Does Attachment Parenting Your Teen Mean?

Your parent-child connection needs to be secure from birth to adulthood. In real practical terms, this means taking the time to communicate and listen to your teens every day. It means getting excited about what they are excited about. It means understanding the incredible hormonal changes happening to your children.

Ensure that you talk openly with your teen and treat them with respect, dignity, humanity, and care. Avoid communicating with sarcasm, cynicism, irritation, and disgust. Allow your teen children to unfold as they are, not as you wish them to be. Nurture them but let go of controlling them. Attachment parenting a teen means unconditional love and emotional support. This way you build a secure attachment bond that will last a lifetime.

Adolescents who feel understood by you as a parent even in the face of conflict can move forward toward early adulthood with confidence. They don’t avoid conflict, exploration, and individuation. And they don’t prematurely push to independence without the support of their parents.

They seek out their caregivers when distressed. But they also explore their environment at times of low stress. Studies show that securely attached adolescents are less likely to engage in excessive drinking, drug use, and risky sexual behavior.

Securely attached adolescents also suffer fewer mental health problems.

These include:

  1. Anxiety
  2. Depression
  3. Inattention
  4. Thought problems
  5. Conduct disorder
  6. Delinquency and aggression

In girls, attachment security is related to lower rates of teenage pregnancy. They also worry less about their weight and aren’t as likely to get an eating disorder.

Securely attached teens manage the transition to high school more successfully. They also enjoy more positive relationships and experience less conflict with family and peers than insecurely attached adolescents.

This cannot always be achieved. There are many environmental factors in childhood that can cause an impact.

Insecure attachment in adolescence is linked to dysfunctional behavior.

These include maternal harsh punishment and harsh conflict in the home.

For example, domestic violence may affect your parenting and increases the risk of child neglect.

How To Deal With Relationship Breakdown And Attachment Parenting

How can you nurture a secure bond when marital conflict or divorce may affect parenting ability?

This can reduce your child’s motivation to explore new relationships. They won’t separate from their parents, or interact with peers.

It may not surprise you that parental unavailability and harsh rejection can cause avoidance in your kids.

If a child views themselves as unlovable and unable to attract care from their parents, why would they believe anyone else is interested in them?

‘Anxious-avoidant’ children are reluctant to approach their parents even when distressed because they fear their overtures for comfort will be rejected or punished.

Inconsistency in your parental relationship with your teen is associated with anxious-ambivalent attachment. These children view themselves as unable to sustain the interest and care of others. However, they view others as able to provide support if their attention can be secured and sustained.

Teens who are disconnected from their parents are often stuck in a dynamic with their parents of push and pull, love and hate, compliance and rebellion, clinginess and aggression, being controlled, and being pushed away.

However, for some reason, our society seems to feel very uncomfortable about parent-teen closeness, especially mom and son closeness. These are deep cultural wounds in the collective unconscious that continue to be part of our culture.

What Is The Difference Between Attachment Parenting And Helicopter Parenting?

Is attachment parenting akin to helicopter parenting? No, but no doubt that’s where the fear lies. The children of Helicopter Parents – families that interact in this manner – are dependent upon their parents in an unhealthy manner, begging to get basic needs that have never been met. They are disconnected and unattached. 

Conclusion

Raising secure teens gives them the opportunity to be more competent. They have more advanced emotional skills, including empathy, emotional expressiveness, and emotional awareness than their unattached peers.

Secure teens have been found to have more positive coping skills than peers demonstrating insecure attachment styles.

It’s not a tightrope to walk, but indeed a safety harness.

If you liked this blog post, then check out 5 Ways To Ease Working Mom Guilt.

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