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School Shootings -TRAGIC expression of unmet needs, skills deficits, adverse childhood experiences, social isolation, hopelessness

In 2017 Jillian Peterson & James Densley began studying the life histories of mass shooters in the US for a project funded by the National Institute of Justice, the research arm of the U.S. Dept of Justice. They’ve built a database and analyzed every active shooter incident in the U.S. at a K-12 school since 1999 – the year of the Columbine High School Massacre. They’ve interviewed incarcerated perpetrators of school shootings and their families, students who planned a shooting but changed their minds, survivors and first responders, teachers and administrators. They’ve read media and social media, “manifestos,” suicide notes, trial transcripts, and medical records. Here is what they found:

“In every case, when a student had planned a shooting and changed their mind, it was because an adult reached out and made a connection that gave them hope.
School shootings are not an inevitable part of American life.
We can, and must, change our approach to preventing them.”

The TRAGIC EXPRESSION of unmet needs takes the broader look at the “bad kid” myth once and for all.

What’s wrong with these statements?
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Kids should be seen and not heard.
They’ve got to learn.

Whether you are cringing or nodding along right now, these statements look at the surface behaviors with an unfair bias and even prejudice. So why are we okay with using these phrases that describe our children? Would we feel the same way if we said:

Spare the rod and spoil the elderly.
Europeans should be seen and not heard.
New Zealanders have got to learn.

In my TEDx talk, “The Rebellion is Here—We Created it, We Can Solve It,” I deconstruct the generational misconception that children, because of their youth and impressionability, should not be trusted. Subscribing to the belief that kids’ opinions should not be taken seriously leads to disconnection and a lack of trust between parent and child.

When we punish a kid for talking back, what we’re really saying is that their inner voice or feelings are irrelevant. And punishing surface behavior without addressing the source, the underlying unmet needs, often leads to what Dr. Thomas Gordon referred to as the Three R’s: Retaliation, Rebellion, and Resistance.

Do you want to build an environment where your child feels like they can tell you the truth 100% of the time? Do you want to teach them that they should never stand down in the face of prejudice, injustice—or even being told by an adult to do something they’re uncomfortable with?

Watch my TEDx talk for tips on how to communicate effectively and compassionately with your children, especially when they seem to be acting up. Let them know that they’re not “bad kids” for speaking up.

Love and Blessings,


P.S. If you’re looking for a welcoming, compassionate group of parents that will accompany you on the journey to find solutions to our societal situation, through parental ups and downs, join our Conscious Parenting Private Facebook Group.

Advice Leadership Women In Business

Unlocking My Hidden Formula to Make Your Biggest Dreams a Reality, Against All Odds!

Maura was living in a constant state of low-level anxiety that was taking a toll on her life. As a high-performing realtor who took the risk to follow her dreams, Maura was overworked and overwhelmed, which left her feeling stressed, anxious, and exhausted. 

However, Maura’s entire life has profoundly changed in just one year of working with me at Kim Woods.com. She has closed her lucrative real estate business in MA, moved out of state to a town where she said there are more cattle than people, and just launched her new business as a healer of homes. 

Maura shared, “Kim’s astrological guidance, combined with her impressive business background, is like rocket fuel. This powerful combination propelled me to take the risk I thought was impossible and live the life I so desired. She made it a reality for me. I no longer live in constant anxiety; I’m now so happy, grounded and balanced.


With Maura’s constant state of stress, I knew that we needed to start by helping her reduce her stress levels. 

Here are a few of my rocket fuel techniques that I used with Maura to help reduce her stress and propel her into the life she is now living and no longer just dreaming about:

  1. Giving a glimpse of what the future can look like: Understanding astrology and how the stars were aligned for Maura the moment she was born, I could see all the possibilities available to her. This helped her shift her focus from just going through the motions of life to focusing on the outcome she desired. By doing this, I gave Maura the hope and motivation she needed to make the necessary changes in her life.
  2.  Be accessible but not available: This meant that she could be reachable through various ways such as text, Voxer, and email, but with parameters. Only responding during certain times of the day. This helped Maura set the right definition and structure in her work and personal life. 
  3. Pattern interrupt: There’s a quick technique that interrupts the stress spiral of feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Interrupting pattern techniques range from taking a walk, phoning a friend, meditating, or finding a code word. By interrupting the vicious cycle, Maura was able to regain control of her thoughts and emotions.

It’s remarkable to see how my clients have been able to transform their lives by shifting their focus to what they want to achieve rather than just going through the motions of life. 

Clients like Maura, who are willing to step into their power and see how powerful they are by mastering their mindset, are forever changed. The changes Maura has made in her life have reduced her stress levels and enabled her to live the life she has always dreamt of, creating success on her terms. 

If you aspire to make your biggest dreams a reality against all odds, you’ll be amazed at how believing in yourself, staying determined, and pushing forward, can turn your biggest dreams into your greatest achievements, no matter how unreachable they may seem now!

Connect with Kim for a FREE strategy call to see how we may be able to help you live your dreams.