It happens to everyone at some point in time; you are going along in life or business and then one day you don’t feel like you are making progress anymore. You feel stuck, you’re not moving forward and you know there is more you want to accomplish. You want to get unstuck, but you’re not sure how.
Being stuck is not limited to any one area of your life. You may feel great at work, but stuck at home in your family dynamic. You may feel great at home but stuck in an aspect of work or business. You may feel stuck in your relationship and have fallen into the same old boring routine or maybe you are singles and you feel like you will never find that perfect someone.
These are just a few examples. The point is that feeling stuck can be about anything and the good news is you can get unstuck from most situations. Here are five strategies you can implement any time and start moving forward again.
1. Surround yourself with excellence. Start by looking at the people you spend your time with. You want to surround yourself with people who are going in the direction you want to go, who are smarter than you, and have accomplished more.
The reason for doing this is that when you surround yourself with the type of people who already have what you are trying to accomplish you will learn what to do much faster. You will have people you can learn from, whether through asking questions or learning from their examples and inspiration.
In doing this you will also learn habits of those who are successful and have reached similar goals to the ones that you have set for yourself. Then you implement the same habits.
Jim Rohn is known for saying that you will become the average of the five people you spend the most time around. What average do you want to be? Once you decide on that, then ask yourself who should those people be that you spend your time with? If the people who currently surround you do not average the future you want, it’s time to start hanging around new people. Find out where the people you want to be the average of hang out and start going there to expand your horizon.
2. Be Interested Not Interesting. Do you want to find new opportunities, maybe attract new people to you, or land that new job or promotion? Your goal is to be interested, not interesting. You were blessed with two ears and one mouth for a reason. To listen twice as much as you talk.
To be interested all you have to do is ask good questions about the other person, sit back and listen. Hear what they are telling you and when you have that urge to say “me too” stop yourself. This is not about you being interesting and telling your story, this is about you being interested and hearing theirs.
People want to be heard and they want someone to listen. Most people go through their day, weeks, and even years just wanting someone to really listen to them. Be that person and you will be invaluable to those around you. Not only will they benefit so will you as you start to listen, new ideas and opportunities will come to you.
3. Ask! Ask for what you want. Not asking is a definite No, when asking gives you a 50% chance of getting a yes. If you feel stuck because there is something you want or need from someone else and have not asked for it maybe it’s time to just go for the ask. You might be surprised to find that most people genuinely want to help others, especially those they know, trust, and like.
4. Get Scared. Go for the choice that scares you. Growth only happens when you get uncomfortable. When you go with what scares you, growing is required. When you go with the safe bet there is no requirement or opportunity for growth. Growth is getting unstuck.
Apply for the job or promotion you really want, the one you don’t know if you are ready for. Ask for the business or ask Sally or John out on a date. Do something that scares you and when it is no longer scary it’s time to do something new that scares you again. In all actuality if you can find something scary to do every day that is going to skyrocket your growth like you have never imagined possible. Check out the Book I Dare Me by Lu Ann Cahn to see how she overcame being stuck by doing something new every day.
5. Find a mentor. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you move forward. If you have tried everything and you are just not gaining momentum it may be time to find a mentor, coach, or group that can help. There are professionals in every possible field imaginable that have already figured out the solutions to your problem and they want to help you.
What I have found as a coach and working with my own coaches is that when I have a problem with a solution I can’t see, it’s like trying to examine my own eye without a mirror: It’s just not possible. Your coach (or mentor) can be that mirror for you and help you see what you have been missing, help you gain valuable information faster, keep you accountable to your actions, and help you move forward.
You can do this through a one-on-one coaching relationship or group coaching. In groups you will find others that understand what you are going through and you have the support of not just one person, but many. With one-on-one coaching you have dedicated time that is all yours in a safe and private environment to work through anything that has you stuck.
The point to all of this is that being stuck is completely normal and happens to everyone at some point in time. Some have figured out how to get unstuck faster than others, and you can too. Start to implement these five steps; the more you can implement at once the faster you will see that forward momentum you are looking for. If you are stuck in more than one area and you feel overwhelmed, work on one item at a time until you get that movement and then you can start to implement what is working in other areas of your life.
Don’t give up. Setbacks happen, remember: it’s not your setbacks that define you, it’s your comebacks.
