Perils of Failing to Properly Prepare for Negotiation Part V

If you want to be a more effective negotiator you need to master the art of preparation. You likely haven’t thought of preparation as an art. It’s something you probably bear, putting your nose to the grindstone, seeing it as a necessary evil. Or maybe you ignore it altogether. If so, allow me to shift your perspective. There’s power in preparation. It gives leverage and increases your ability to influence and persuade.

Because I believe this is one of the most important elements of negotiation, I’ve dedicated a series to the topic. This series is designed to help you up-level those all-important preparation skills. In Part I we explored the perils of failing to properly prepare. In Part II we uncovered my signature No F.E.A.R. Negotiating model, the first in my trilogy of winning preparation models you can add to your negotiating toolkit. Part III introduced you to the 5 W’s to Effective Negotiating model. Part IV we tackled the 3^rd model in my Art of Feminine Negotiation™ program, my A.R.E. F.I.T. model. Today, join me for the fifth and final part of the series.

In advance of digging in though, allow me to clarify how to best use the models you’ve learned to date. In advance of any negotiation or potentially difficult conversation, simple follow the 3 simple models outlined in this series, in the order in which I shared them. In other words, first go through the No F.E.A.R. model. Identify your fears, how ego may show up for you, areas of potential attachment and possible triggers to reactivity. Do the same exercise as it applies to the other party. Next, go through my 5 W model, fully exploring all aspects of the who, what, where, when and why for your upcoming negotiation and how you can best use each to your advantage. Finally, explore my A.R.E. F.I.T. model. Consider how you can be assertive while still building rapport, bring empathy to the table, staying flexible, tapping into your intuition and building trust. If you follow these simple models as a routine part of your negotiation preparation you will be a better negotiator.

Once you’ve gone through each of the models, take time to consider your best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA). You’ll want to know what alternatives are open to you if you can’t reach agreement in your negotiation. By the same token, you’ll want to be sure to consider the other party’s BATNA. If they have a better deal in the wings, it may affect how you show up and how you negotiate. For a fuller discussion on BATNA, check out my article on the subject.

It’s also important to calculate your reservation or resistance point. That’s basically your bottom line, the point at which you’d walk away as the deal no longer makes sense for you (subject, of course, to new information or better opportunities that may come to light during the negotiation). Determining this in advance, allows you to maintain clarity as you bargain and not get carried away and bargain past the point where it makes sense. We’ve all been guilty of that at some point in our lives.

Consider the outcomes that you desire. While most people consider the substantive outcomes they want (i.e. the matter of the negotiation or the ‘thing’ you’re negotiating about), many fail to consider or get clarity on the process outcomes i.e. the ‘how’ or means of the negotiation. Sometimes the ‘how’ of the negotiation can be as important as the ‘what’. And finally, even more people fail to consider the relationship outcomes they desire. Sometimes securing the ‘what’ in a particular negotiation is not worth risking the relationship.

Your success in negotiation largely depends on the quality of your preparation. Don’t panic. These new models are simply additional tools in your toolkit. Like anything, it will take practice. So try it on. Have fun with the models. Apply them in your personal and professional life. The more you practice the easier it will become and the faster you’ll be able to do them. They will become habit.

Hopefully, this series has raised your awareness about the inherent value in preparation. And remember, all of life is a negotiation so you can apply these models to great effect in both your personal and professional life. Following this preparation template will get you better outcomes, better buy-in, better relationships and longer-lasting agreements.