How to Negotiate From Abundance Part II

Are you searching for more abundance in your life? Are you suffering in these unusual times, feeling lack and loss? Last week I kick-started a series on abundance because I believe now is the time to rise above the current climate of fear and uncertainty and step into the success that is waiting for you. Opportunities abound right now. Before you can take action though, you must build the right mindset to attract and create wealth. This series is designed to help you with that.

In Part I we talked about the psychology of wealth and introduced money scripts. I promised that in Part II we’d explore and deconstruct abundance blocks that may be interfering with your ability to get what you want and desire.

Abundance Blocks

If you’re wanting more abundance than you’re currently experiencing, at some level you’re blocking that abundance. Raising your awareness about your own limiting beliefs and blocks is a key first step to shifting to an abundance mindset. By identifying and challenging your current blocks, you’re on the road to substitute them with more empowering beliefs that will elevate your vibrational frequency to attract unlimited abundance into your life.

Here are just a few examples of blocks that may be interfering with your most fulfilling life.

Negative Assumptions About Money

 

Do you have negative associations about money? If so, you’re not alone. Most women carry significant money baggage. Given our historical circumstances, where not only were we not allowed to hold property, but we were often considered to be property, this is perhaps not surprising.

Added to that, women are conditioned from a young age to be and be seen as selfless nurturers and caregivers. This can lead women to resist money, believing (whether conscious or unconscious) that desiring money is bad … that they need to be above money, only coming from a place of ‘caring’ (as if the two were somehow mutually exclusive).

Or maybe (like me) you came from a low-income family and experienced fights between your parents about money growing up. This creates resistance and conflicting emotions around money and wealth. It creates a story that money is the root of all evil and/or that wealthy people are corrupt, greedy or entitled.

Money does not go where it is not wanted. And so, when you have negative thoughts and feelings about money, you repel it. Let me share an analogy I heard someone offer up once that I just loved. I invite you to think of money as a hot date prospect. But unbeknownst to you, the prospect can read your deepest thoughts. Do you think any hot prospect will be attracted to you if your inner most thoughts about him/her were all negative and indicated repulsion or distaste? Of course not. Think of money the same way. If your thoughts about money reflect resistance, then you will almost certainly not be able to attract it in any sustainable way in your life.

Believing You Don’t Deserve Money or You’re Not Enough

Do you find yourself believing that ‘good luck’ or fortune only happens to other people? Do you believe that money only comes to those who are connected, have a leg up, or are otherwise just lucky … and you’re none of those things?

Or do you believe that money only comes to those who work really hard, and you just haven’t done enough to deserve it yet?

Again, these limiting beliefs come from our conditioning growing up. Especially as women, we’re more likely to judge ourselves as undeserving. At our core, we often grow up questioning our worth … questioning our value … believing that we’re ‘not enough’.

This is a key focus in my coaching work with my clients as it stops women from asking for what they want and deserve and holds them back from achieving their full potential. We don’t celebrate our successes enough as women. I have my clients start a ‘Brag List’ as one part of the antidote. I invite you to do the same. List as many positive attributes as you can think of about yourself – physical, mental, attitude. Things you’re good at. Things you’ve accomplished. Nice things people have said about you. Nice things people should have said about you. List them all. Read this every night before bed AND add to it.

As women, we need to start owning our worth before we can fully step into the abundant life we’re meant to live.

Living in a ‘One Day’ mindset

If you find yourself thinking “if or when I can just get x, then I would be …” or “when this happens, then I can …”, then you’re in what I call a ‘one day’ mindset. This is a dangerous place to be as ‘one day’ rarely comes. When we fall into this trap, there will always be another hurdle, another ‘thing to get’ or ‘thing that needs to happen’ before you allow yourself to go for what you want.

Successful people focus on BEING. Become a match to the vibration you want (as discussed in Part I). Don’t put your life on hold, pushing away the abundance that awaits you, waiting for some external catalyst. Be your own catalyst. Become abundant by choosing an abundance mindset.

Living with Fear

 

We all have fears. We can either learn to use those fears to fuel us or we can let them stifle us from reaching our full potential. There are a host of fears that can block us from our abundance. Fear of loss, change, growth, success, rejection, failure or the unknown, to name a few. This is such an important area for self-mastery that I created a book: No F.E.A.R. Negotiating. Grab your free copy here

These fears are powerful blocks that hold us back until we learn to master them. Identifying your fears is a key first step to your money mindset freedom. Otherwise, you may be plagued by beliefs that you can never have enough money, or that money will give you meaning, or that if only you had more money things would be better. All of these beliefs will inhibit your natural ability to attract abundance.

Environment

 

Are you surrounded by people who are abundant and who support your ambition and goals unconditionally? Or, even with the best of intentions, do the people in your life make you question your ability to take risks to succeed? They say you’re likely to be in a position that’s the average of the 5 people you most spend time with. So, I invite you take a close look at your current ‘inner circle’. If it’s not filled with people who uplift and inspire you to be the best possible version of you, then it’s time to add some new people into your inner circle.

In addition to the people we surround ourself with, our physical environment is also key in our ability to attract abundance. Money likes order. If your physical space is disorganized and your banking/financial records are chaotic, it may be time to reframe your environment to reframe your thoughts.

Resistance to Receive

 

As noted above, women are typically conditioned to see themselves as caregivers. We tend to martyr ourselves, believing it’s incumbent upon us to always be in the giving role. As a result, we resist receiving … in everything from compliments, to gifts, to personal abundance. This resistance repels money and blocks us from achieving all that could be available to us.

I was guilty of this for many years. Going out, I always insisted on picking up the tab. I’d say, “You can get it next time”. But next time I’d do the same thing. I had to do the inner work necessary to identify this as a symptom of my money blocks before I could work on resolving it and attracting the abundance I deserved.

Lack of clarity or specificity

Having vague concepts of our wants is a weak magnet and not likely to bring us abundance. If Aladdin shared his magic lamp with you, would your 3 wishes be specific enough to ensure you get what you want?

It’s important to have clarity around your visions and dreams. Determine what your goals are with specificity. Have a blueprint for the future you want. Don’t just wish for ‘more money’. Aspire to achieve a specific amount of money within a specified period of time. Then your brain (and the universe in response) can start the process of making it a reality. Don’t just dream that you’d like ‘to travel’. Imagine your white villa on the cliffs of Santorini overlooking the azure Mediterranean.

Do you recognize any of these blocks in your life? If so, celebrate! It means you’re on your way to dissolving the blocks that have been getting in the way of your infinite abundance!