C-Suite Network™

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Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Two Sides to Every Story: Are You Listening to Your Child?

Picture this: You’re minding your own business when the phone rings.

On the other end of the line, a teacher or camp counselor informs you that your child has been acting out. Your face flushes with embarrassment, and you assume the story they are telling must be the whole truth.

When our children misbehave in public — whether it’s getting into a fight at soccer practice or throwing a toy at a daycare teacher — our instinct as parents often leads us to apologize and then, shamefully, reprimand or punish them at home.

But are you listening to your child’s side of the story?

Anger and Shame Prevent Parents from Listening to Their Kids

I remember a time when I was on my way to my daughter’s Girl Scout camp. There had been a fight with another girl, and I was told that my daughter had allegedly shoved her. As punishment, the camp counselor put her in “detention” in one of the cottages. Upset and concerned, I drove to the campground.

I knew my daughter, and I knew she wouldn’t just push someone without reason. Why is listening to your child important in situations like this? Because I wanted to understand, how can you show you are listening to a child in moments when they’re already feeling so vulnerable.

As soon as I saw her, isolated and upset, my gut told me something was missing from the narrative I had been given. I approached her and gently asked, “Honey, what happened?” Through tears, she simply said, “I just want to go, I just want to go!”

Despite her desire to leave, I recognized that running away wouldn’t help; she’d leave without anyone hearing her side of what happened, and worse, she might already start developing a negative reputation as a “bad kid.” I knew I had to advocate for her, so I used what we call the protective use of force.

I told her, “I won’t let you develop a negative reputation. I understand that your side hasn’t been heard, and I’m not leaving until it is.” That’s when she opened up: “Mom, she was bullying me — calling me names in front of everyone. I asked her over and over to stop, but she wouldn’t, so I swung my arm and told her to stop it. And then I got in trouble!” My daughter’s big sobs spoke volumes about her confusion, her embarrassment, and the hurt she felt at being punished for defending herself.

Should parents listen to their children’s opinions? Especially in conflict situations? Absolutely. As I found out, my daughter’s actions came from a place of frustration and unmet needs. When I spoke to the camp counselor and facilitated a discussion between the girls, it became clear that my daughter hadn’t needed “detention”; she needed understanding.

That day, I learned a valuable lesson: Are you listening to your child’s side of the story? If I had let anger and embarrassment dictate my response, my daughter would have felt even more misunderstood and attacked. She might not have trusted me to tell her side of things ever again.

This doesn’t mean that every time a child misbehaves, it’s due to an honest mistake. But there’s almost always an unmet need driving the behavior. As parents, if we take the time to understand that need, we can address the root cause and work towards a meaningful resolution.

Our job is to put aside our own fears about how others perceive us and make sure we’re genuinely listening to our children. That’s where true connection and understanding begin.

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Should Your Parenting Style Be Discussed at the Next Parent-Teacher Conference?

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Branding Marketing Technology

AI-Boosted Keywords & Content Strategy

AI-Boosted Keywords & Content Strategy

One of content creators’ most daunting challenges is the continuous need to generate fresh topics and keywords. This becomes incredibly taxing when the goal is to produce content at scale. Enter artificial intelligence: a transformative tool that promises to revolutionize how you approach this conundrum. With a few clicks, AI-driven tools can flood you with many topic ideas and relevant keywords, thereby streamlining your content creation process. But before dismissing the idea of having hundreds of topic suggestions as overkill, let’s delve into why this approach could be a game-changer for your content strategy.

The Power of Choice

You might be tempted to ask, “Why would I need an ocean of topics when I’m only fishing for a single idea?” The answer is simple: options empower you. A vast repository of topic ideas is more than just a list; it’s a strategic asset. It grants you the luxury of screening through various possibilities to pinpoint those most resonating with your target audience. In an era where user engagement is king, the ability to tailor your content to meet audience expectations is not just advantageous; it’s essential.

Navigating the SEO Maze

Beyond audience engagement, a diverse array of topic ideas also offers another compelling benefit: it enables you to discover untapped internal linking opportunities for search engine optimization (SEO). Crafting interconnected content increases the chances of higher search engine rankings, thus drawing more organic traffic to your website. When you have an extensive list of topics, it becomes significantly easier to identify more straightforward connections between different pieces of content, which is invaluable for optimizing your site’s SEO.

Tools to Ignite Your Creative Spark

If you’re wondering where to start, several popular AI-driven tools are designed to jump-start your creative engine. HubSpot’s Blog Topic Generator, Portent’s Content Idea Generator, and Content Ideator are among the top picks. Each operates on a simple premise: input keywords related to your field, and within seconds, you’ll be presented with a multitude of potential topics. Link Bait Generator is another option for those interested in generating more polarizing or sensational content.

The advent of AI in content creation is a potent ally for writers. It lifts the burden of topic generation and keyword identification, allowing you to focus on crafting high-quality, impactful content that opens the door to more opportunities, especially for audience engagement and optimization. When you embrace AI-powered tools, you’re not merely simplifying a task; you’re elevating your entire content strategy. This approach gives you a competitive edge in a digital landscape where standing out is often easier said than done.

By tapping into the capabilities of AI for generating topics and keywords, you’re not just tackling immediate needs; you’re fortifying your long-term content strategy. You’re ensuring a roadmap that’s not only abundant in quantity but also unerring in quality. In a marketplace that rewards foresight and engagement, this dual benefit is nothing short of invaluable.

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Calm the Back-to-School Jitters: Essential Tips for Parents

Anxiety is a common reaction during significant transition, but it’s important not to let these fears hinder progress. As the new school year approaches, consider these tips for addressing back-to-school anxiety to support you and your family in managing the challenges ahead.

5 Tips for Coping with Back-to-School Anxiety:

1. Talk About It.

Worries and fears can seem more overwhelming when kept to oneself. This applies whether your children are teens heading back to college or younger ones returning to school. Encourage open conversations about their concerns. Are they anxious about health issues, new protocols, loneliness, fitting in, academic performance, or disappointing you? Resist the urge to downplay or overly reassure; both can obstruct meaningful communication. Open dialogue is essential for coping with back-to-school anxiety.

2. Review Safety Regulations Together.

Examine the safety measures provided by the school. Ensure that everyone understands these protocols before the school year begins. Additionally, review your own family safety procedures, including emergency exits and identifying trusted adults, to provide an added sense of security. These actions are part of the tips to ease back-to-school anxiety by creating a predictable environment.

3. Get Bigger Than What’s Bugging You.

When addressing negative thoughts, teach your children self-talk skills to help them manage their anxiety. For example, if they’re worried, help them see these feelings as just one part of their experience rather than defining who they are. Encourage them to reflect on their fears and recognize that they are more than their worries. This approach helps maintain a sense of self amidst anxiety. This method aligns with the tips for addressing back-to-school anxiety by focusing on a broader perspective.

Consider asking questions like, “Are you excited to reconnect with your classmates? Are you looking forward to trying out new activities?” Such questions can shift focus from anxiety to anticipation.

4. Build a Routine.

Consistency and predictability can provide comfort, especially during uncertain times. Establishing a daily routine, whether at home or in college, can offer a sense of security. Include regular times for meals, schoolwork, and debriefing about their day to support their adjustment. This practice is one of the most effective tips to ease back-to-school anxiety.

5. Exhibit a Peaceful Energy.

Children often mirror their parents’ emotions. Displaying calmness and confidence when discussing the return to school can help your kids feel more at ease. Maintaining a peaceful demeanor is crucial for coping with back-to-school anxiety and creating a supportive environment.

If you need additional support in navigating your emotions during this transition, please reach out to our team for assistance.

Parents, we’ve navigated through challenging times, so be patient with yourselves and your children. We’re all in this together!

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Navigating Inner and Outer Voices: The Importance of Listening to Your Child

Control. Have you found yourself longing for it lately?

When life feels uncertain, we often grasp for control in any way we can.
You might hyperfocus on cleaning up the house.
You might micromanage a project at work.
You might even criticize your spouse for the way they do…just about anything.
And then, there’s trying to get your child to “behave.”

The belief that children should be controlled and should act according to our wishes usually stems from our own childhood experiences. And when kids don’t behave as we expect, it often feels personal:

They’re driving me crazy.
They’re making me frustrated.
They’re not listening to me.

We’re so focused on how our children make us feel, but what about them?

If they’re not listening to you, who are they listening to? What are they listening to? Why can’t they just do as they’re told?

The truth is, children are often listening to something inside themselves, just like everyone else. Have they been silencing their inner voice all day at school, only to find that they just can’t do it anymore? Or maybe they’ve buried their feelings to follow orders at school, and now they’ve collapsed into a flood of emotion because they can’t dismiss those feelings any longer.

Children might not have learned the skills to “get bigger than what’s bugging them.” They may not know how to connect with their feelings and be present with them in a way that communicates complete self-acceptance. This is why listening to the child’s voice is so important. Understanding why listening to your child is important helps them feel heard and respected, and can significantly influence their emotional development.

Rumi, the Persian poet, expressed this beautifully in his poem The Guest House.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Even as adults with years of training, it’s important to stay mindful of our feelings, to treat them like visitors passing through. No matter what arises internally, curiosity and interest in our inner experiences are key. The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice. By cultivating a skill of “Being With,” we can listen to our feelings without becoming them.

When we are centered and aware of ourselves, we can hear what each part of us feels and wants without letting any one part take control. This awareness allows us to guide our actions thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

Of course, when we’re overwhelmed by a particular feeling, it can lead to behaviors like throwing a temper tantrum, riding a scooter through the house, or sneaking out after curfew.

Supporting your child in developing an awareness of their inner world helps them to “get bigger than what’s bugging them,” allowing them to accept all parts of themselves without letting any one part dictate their behavior. Understanding the benefits of listening to children also allows us to better guide them in managing their inner voices and emotions.

Understanding the benefits of listening to children and their inner voices helps us see how they are navigating both the outer voices in their world and their inner voices. When your child says “no” to you, they might be saying “yes” to something inside themselves. Get curious about what they are saying “yes” to within themselves.

Developing a strong sense of self is crucial for your child. You want to raise a confident adult who can advocate for their own needs. But without the right guidance, there’s a tendency to judge what inconveniences you and to try to control your child’s behavior. Remember, no one makes us feel a certain way — our feelings are our own.

Every parent I’ve worked with has tried to control their child in some way. But with awareness and effort, you can change your behavior and transform your relationship with your child. And, interestingly, when parents focus on understanding rather than control, children often start listening more. The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice, influencing how they perceive themselves and the world around them. How we speak to kids affects their inner voice, shaping their self-esteem and confidence. By fostering a positive and encouraging environment, parents can help their children develop a strong, healthy inner voice that will guide them throughout life.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Telling Someone What They Want to Hear is Not the Smart Way to Build Trust

Not the Smart Way to Build Trust

There is a lot of misinformation out there on how to build trust and/or build rapport. This catches my attention and concerns me as trust and rapport are two key elements of successful negotiation. Teaching tactics to purportedly build trust based on myths and misconceptions is damaging and counterproductive. As all of life is a negotiation, this is particularly important. You want to be as effective as possible in negotiating your best life. Building a skillset based on faulty information will inhibit your ability to do this.

One example of this myth-building jumped out at me recently in an article I read. It touted that building deep trust and rapport required the following things:

Justify the failures of the other person. i.e. ‘It’s not your fault that it didn’t work out. [Fill in appropriate excuse for them]’

Throw stones at their enemies. i.e. ‘I swear he’s the worst boss ever. I heard s/he [fill in appropriate barb]’

Help them feel more positive about the future. i.e. ‘Things are going to get better. You’ve got so much going for you. You’re the [fill in appropriate compliment].’

I understood the point the author was making. There is a certain attraction to having people around who prop us up unconditionally. Sadly, this is probably true in both our personal and professional lives. I’m sure if you think of the people closest to you, there’s a good chance they do one or more of these things for you. They’re probably even well-intentioned.

But is this good advice? Is this a meaningful or productive way to build trust and rapport? Is it authentic? I invite you to consider that it is not and that it does not serve you.

By all means, be positive. In fact, I encourage my clients to find something to genuinely compliment the other party about in any negotiation as a means to build rapport. But the key is ‘genuine’. In fact, in my article on ways to build rapport, my #1 point was to ‘be yourself’. Being candid also scored high on the hit list of ‘to do’s’.

Similarly, my article on how to build trust focused on the importance of integrity, credibility and reputation.

Routinely touting the ‘it’s not your fault, it’s their fault, you’re great’ line ultimately does a disservice to those in our lives.

Is this really how we want to encourage our children to live – being solicitous even when it’s disingenuous? Is this the environment we want to surround ourselves with? If we choose that path, how do we grow, take ownership, stretch ourselves to be better?

As a practical matter, this strategy also ultimately breaks trust and rapport in my experience. My husband routinely tells me I look great, even when I look like Hell on wheels. While I appreciate the sentiment, it actually causes me to mistrust his input at all. Likewise, he compliments my cooking whether it’s Kraft dinner or gourmet cuisine. Again, however well-intentioned, this undermines my trust of his input.

And we’ve all had that friend who tells us an outfit looks fabulous on us and after shelling out big bucks we never wear it as it was really too tight and bulged in unflattering ways so we’re never really comfortable in it.

Sometimes these ego-boosting tactics are more subtle. Even then, intuitively we come to discount the feedback and don’t trust it.

The same holds true in business. The person who gushes that every idea is brilliant may make us feel better in the moment, but ultimately, they hold us back. We come to know not to trust their judgment.

Far better to give and receive honest, constructive feedback that pushes us to step up and be better. Better to be challenged and supported with positive input to improve. Better to build a foundation of trust, rapport, and respect based on authentic, useful information. That’s the key to building solid relationships that lead to best outcomes.

Instead of throwing glib, knee-jerk, insincere platitudes, what if instead, we listened more deeply, asked questions to show interest and understand better, stayed open and connected? What if we sought to be kind and honest. What if our goal was to find best outcomes, not only for ourselves, but for the other party in any given interaction?

Something to think about.

Categories
Capital Real Estate

(no-name)

What if a single, low-level panic attack could ignite a journey of transformation that changes everything? In a compelling episode of Rise from the Ashes, we sit down with Grant Shipman, famously known as “the co-living guy.” Grant’s story, a beacon of hope and resilience, is a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration in the face of adversity.

From his darkest days delivering Domino’s pizza while sharing a cramped room with three others, to the life-altering discovery of his girlfriend’s heroin addiction, Grant’s experiences ignited a profound journey towards self-betterment and compassion for those battling similar struggles. His insights on how a stable home environment can significantly influence success are both powerful and eye-opening.

The Power of a Supportive Household

Ever wondered how a stable home environment influences success? Grant’s insights underscore the power of a supportive household and grounding rituals. Reflecting on personal anecdotes and the COVID-19 pandemic, Grant emphasizes self-awareness, adaptability, and healthy relationships. This episode is rich with practical wisdom on overcoming addiction and infidelity, and building a balanced life through daily practices.

Exploring Co-Living: A Solution to Isolation

Explore co-living and its potential to combat the rise of single-person households and the housing crisis. Discover the benefits of intentional communities, like the housing co-op in Austin, where residents learn conflict resolution, shared responsibility, and mutual support. These environments not only provide companionship but also foster personal growth and unity.

Grant Shipman’s Journey: A Testament to Community Living

Grant’s journey illustrates the transformative power of supportive living environments on personal development and community cohesion. His story is a testament to the financial and social benefits of co-living, challenging misconceptions and highlighting how shared spaces can promote emotional intelligence and well-being.

Practical Wisdom and Transformative Experiences

Join us in this enriching conversation, packed with practical wisdom and transformative experiences. Discover how intentional living can inspire change and foster meaningful living. Grant’s journey from hardship to purpose underscores that true success transcends material wealth.

Listen Now

Ready to transform your life and make a positive community impact? Listen to Grant Shipman’s inspiring story on the latest episode of Rise from the Ashes. Download the episode here and discover the power of co-living. Share this episode, spread the message, and join the revolution in shared living spaces. Visit www.CoLivingInvestment.com/Baz to learn more and get involved.

Share Your Thoughts

What part of Grant’s journey resonated most with you? How do you think co-living could impact your community? Share your thoughts in the comments below and join the conversation.

Categories
Best Practices Leadership

Discovering Ingagement: A Revolutionary New Approach to Leadership

 

By Evan Hackel

Ingagement is a leadership philosophy that emphasizes involving employees’ minds, creativity, and emotions rather than just giving them instructions. When leaders align people and foster a collaborative environment, organizations become more successful.

What is Ingagement?

Ingagement is a leadership approach that goes beyond mere engagement. It involves actively involving employees in decision-making processes, encouraging their input, and valuing their contributions.

Traditional leadership methods often involve top-down directives. In contrast, my book Hackel’s “Ingaging Leadership: The Ultimate Edition” introduces Ingagement, a philosophy that involves everyone in the decision-making process.

Key Principles of Ingagement

  • Involvement: Encourage employees to participate in decision-making processes.
  • Communication: Foster open and honest communication at all levels.
  • Collaboration: Promote teamwork and collaboration across the organization.

Benefits of Ingagement

  • Higher Employee Satisfaction: Employees feel valued and heard, leading to higher job satisfaction.
  • Increased Innovation: Diverse perspectives lead to more innovative solutions.
  • Stronger Commitment: Employees are more committed to the organization’s success when they are involved in decision-making.

Real-Life Examples

  • When I was working at CCA Global Partners in Manchester New Hampshire, CEO Howard Brodsky was using a simple, yet highly effective program to build Ingagement through the ranks of his organization. Each month he held a lunch meeting for seven or eight employees, always at a local restaurant. The meetings were not exclusively for middle managers or executives; anyone could attend. “I didn’t want to give the lunches a formal name,” he explains, “because I wanted to keep everything somewhat loose.” Yet Deb Binder, a former CCA employee who was working there at the time, recalls that “If you got an invitation to go to lunch with the CEO, that was pretty exciting.” If people who had not been invited wanted to attend, they were welcome to do that. Everyone could ask anything they wanted, and no professional or personal topic was off-limits. Practical new ideas emerged from those meetings, but the greatest benefit was that people felt they were valued. Their ideas would be heard, and often tested or used, by an organization that wanted to hear what they had to say.
  • When I was president at Carpet One, we took our entire staff on a retreat once a year. We did team-building exercises in the mornings, and in the afternoons, we invited all the employees to attend open meetings that were held in a big room outfitted with nothing but chairs and flipcharts. Senior management (comprised of me and the people who reported directly to me) did not attend. All the attendees were invited to walk up to a flipchart, write down any topic they pleased, and start a discussion about it. In essence, we were giving people a forum where they could discuss anything without worrying about upsetting anybody from upper management or being judged. As the meetings progressed, people were able to review the flipcharts and topics that were under discussion and offer new ideas. An extraordinary number of great ideas emerged like ideas about HR, customer service and relationships, and operational efficiency. When the retreats ended, we had people put the very best ideas on big pieces of paper from the flip charts, and when we got back to our home office, we posted those sheets on the wall, got working on them, and posted progress as it was made. People could see that their best ideas were not only heard but were put into practice. As a result, they felt motivated to suggest even more ideas—it was a real benefit to both the employees and to the organization.

 

Conclusion: Ingagement is a powerful leadership approach that can transform your organization. To learn more about how to implement Ingagement in your workplace, buy my book here.

 

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Understanding Your Child’s Love for Video Games: Finding the Right Balance

Dear Katherine,

A parent expresses concern about their kids’ love for playing video games. The children seem to take genuine pleasure in this activity, and while they’re occupied, the parent has a chance to do household chores and enjoy a little time to themselves.

The parent wonders if there are better hobbies out there—but if the kids like gaming and it gives the parent a bit of space, is that so wrong? They question if they are making a parenting mistake by letting the children play.

Sincerely,
Guilty As Charged

Hey there, Guilty As Charged,

First of all, there is nothing to feel guilty about here! Check the shame at the door. Everyone’s human.

Gaming—and screen-time in general—is a sore spot in many parent-child relationships. It’s hard to imagine eliminating these activities because, as mentioned, the kids enjoy playing video games, and the parent enjoys having some space. Not to mention that screen-time has become an undeniable part of children’s social lives.

But of course, “too much” of anything can be a problem.

So what constitutes “too much” in terms of gaming? The answer: It depends.

Rest assured that it’s probably not necessary to put an end to the kids’ gaming. This kind of hobby can have a place in a healthy, well-rounded child’s life. The issue is when it becomes an addiction.

In a webinar with Cam Adair (founder of Game Quitters, the world’s largest support platform), who once struggled with video game addiction, Adair shared his experience. He dropped out of school, lied to his parents about having a job, and eventually experienced suicidal ideation. At the height of his problem, he was gaming 16 hours a day.

The discussion highlighted that one of the risk factors for full-fledged gaming addiction is using video games as a coping mechanism or a means of escape. The amount of time spent gaming matters much less than why they’re gaming in the first place.

Why does my child like video games so much?” is a common question among parents. Often, it’s because video games provide a sense of achievement, excitement, and even social connection. Understanding this can help in managing their gaming habits effectively.

Here’s a good litmus test: If the child is gaming and they are asked to stop—for dinner, homework, or something else—are they capable of easily walking away? If so, there may not be cause for concern.

If they have trouble walking away, there may not be cause for concern either. If they are in the middle of getting to that next level at the very moment they are called, they may just need a few more minutes!

It’s also important to take a holistic view of the kids’ lives outside of gaming.

Are they doing well in school?
Do they have nice friends?
Are they generally kind and happy?
Do they get proper exercise and nutrition?

The answers to those questions will help determine if playing video games is a solution for another problem—or just another activity that brings the children joy.

Do video games affect children’s behavior?” The answer varies, but generally, moderation and balance are key. Ensuring that gaming does not interfere with their daily responsibilities and overall well-being is crucial.

“What to do when your child only wants to play video games?” Start a conversation about their gaming habits and show interest in what they enjoy. Plan family activities that can engage them and set reasonable boundaries without resorting to power struggles.

If there is concern, Game Quitters—Adair’s game addiction support community—is an excellent resource. But first, start a conversation with the kids about their gaming habits. Good old-fashioned quality time and better parent-child communication may be enough to keep them from entering unhealthy territory.

Tell the child that the family wants to spend time together, and be sure to plan activities that excite them. Steer clear of using power and control because that is guaranteed to activate the 3Rs (retaliation, rebellion, and resistance) and generate a resentment flow.

It is hoped this response gave some peace of mind to “Guilty As Charged.” The kids’ love for video games is likely healthy and normal.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Happy Father’s Day

Dear Dad,

You spend so much energy taking care of everyone around you…

Now, it’s your turn to be taken care of!

Be on the look out for our emails with the ribbon emoji for all sorts of incredible savings and deals… starting now!

Happy Father’s Day!

In celebration of Father’s Day, I’m giving 10 special dads $160 gift of half an hour consultation with me! Grab it before it fills up! (My hourly rate is $320)

To claim this special offer, you just need to be one of the first 10 mothers to follow this link and grab a spot on my calendar.

You’ll be able to book anytime during the month of June.

What’s the call for?

A chance to troubleshoot an issue you’re having with your kid. 
A chance to get answers to your burning questions about parenting.
A chance to get real about the highs and lows of fatherhood.

Whatever is on your mind, I’m here for you.

No judgment, no shame, no pressure.

Ready to chat? Treat yourself!

Click the button below to make sure you’re one of the first 10 dads to schedule your $160 gift!

Love and Blessings,

Katherine