By Debbie Forth
Are you sitting on the sidelines of love?https://c-suitenetwork.com/advisors/wp-content/themes/csadvisore/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Debbie Forth Debbie Forth https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d34568a70a3e97a20f8d77402286c517?s=96&d=mm&r=g
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
Are you sitting on the sidelines of love? Are you waiting for Fed Ex to drop him/her on your door step?
Yes, you know who you are.
You are going through life with one big toe in the water, never committing until the perfect package is mysteriously delivered to your heart. You find something wrong with every person who crosses your path.
As a Love Architect, I believe whole heartedly in ‘knowing’ who you want and what you need in a partner. I definitely believe in making a ‘flexible’ list of the values, characteristics, physical traits, and personal heart’s desires that will serve your soul at it’s deepest level. I have all my clients do this before and after each relationship.
We are in a constant state of growth and evolution. The people who are coming in and out of your life are rubbing up against you, teaching you, opening up wounds to be healed, triggering you into possibility.
You can either stay stuck and ignore the gift in each relationship or you can ask the question “What am I to learn? What was the lesson from this relationship?”
All relationships and connections are teaching us how to love.
You didn’t arrive at success and excellence in your careers without stepping into and through the pain of growth. The challenges of college, all the late nights studying, researching. and learning to master your craft. The continuous networks of mentors, colleagues and thought leaders that developed you. Don’t forget about the failures and perhaps complete change in direction as you were stumbling into your passion. The countless hours, lost time with loved ones and family just to meet that next deadline. You have felt the pressure of working just to survive, to keep yourself or your family in the life style that meets public perception. Where you are today, was derived from a plan, the ability to step into action, to have a little faith in the process, and most importantly the ability to change and grow with the beauty in the obstacles and triumphs.
You have mastered architecting your career like a champ. But, this ‘Love Thing’ is not easy.
Sitting on the sidelines complaining, that’s easy! It’s easy to sit on the sidelines, complaining that you haven’t met the right person or perhaps you are ‘miserably married’ and ignoring the truth of your relationship.
Let me keep it real right now! Ask yourself this question, “Are you ready for FED-EX to drop him/her into your life? Are you at your best? Are you showing up as your best self, without judgment or blame for the person you vowed to do life with?”
We have all made the mistake, myself included, of wanting this amazing partner for our life yet not even doing the work to be the best. Let me be clear, you will not receive the gift of the beautiful love you are destined to have until you are at your best. The best does not mean only soaring in your career. In fact, most of the successful and high achieving executives that I coach have relationships that swirl in the toilet.
Let go of your ego and recognize the truth! It’s not the size of your bank account that attracts healthy love, it’s your ability to connect to yourself and others. We all want to feel worthy and loved, it’s our purpose for existence. You find the right partner and you will move mountains for them, serving them from the deepest, most vulnerable places of who you are becoming.
If you are your best, you show up to every relationship ‘the best’ and will teach your partner / beloved how to love. Trust me, they will grow with you or be left stuck. The most successful relationships are not those who do not have strife or struggle.
The most successful relationships are derived from 2 individual souls who die unto each other and resurrect as 1.
Healthy relationships come from 2 committed people who are united in love and growing through life together. Relationships are not always meant to last but they are meant to grow you up. If you can find the right person who loves all the beauty of who you are, can kiss the scars and wounds of your journey and dance beside you toward future challenges – then hold on tight!
How do you become your best? You know that list you made about who you want your beloved to be, all the amazing traits, values, the person that your heart desires to love ~ Become that!
A little tip from your favorite Love Architect, “If you put on your list that you want a person with a Rock-Star body, then you better have one too. Don’t be sitting around on the couch, eating a bag of Cheetos thinking you can change, or do the work ‘after’ Fed Ex delivers your beloved. You better be at your best or striving daily to be exactly who/what you desire.”
If you are currently in a relationship that is swirling in the toilet. I encourage you to make the list – Change You First. Your partner will most likely follow your leadership and mirror who you are becoming. Let go of ego and fears, show up everyday giving your best.
Stop sitting on the sidelines of love. It’s time for you to do the work, let go of past baggage and beliefs, learn the art of loving you first, to truly understand how/why you love the way you do and re-frame your story to be ready for love!
You have everything you need to be successful in all areas of your life but if you need a little guidance, someone to help you design a plan to fast track your success, or hold you accountable, I am always here.
Spread the Love,
Love Architect, Love Coach, Speaker
C-Suite Network Advisor & Contributing Editor
“Architecting Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out”
Since 2012, I’ve helped my clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back in creating the love-life of their dreams. Life’s too short to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled by one’s self — so what are you waiting for? Let me help you learn and develop better ways to handle the issues that are standing in the way of your goals. Are you ready to be held accountable to making the choices and changes to transform by falling in love with self and being ready to give/receive love to others?
“It’s with in our own stories that unlock the doors of healing for self and others.”