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How to Make Your Words Colorful to Inspire People

 

“To inspire people, touch their emotions. To touch their emotions, use colorful words that paint pictures in their mind’s eye.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To inspire people, you must touch their emotions. To touch their emotions, use colorful words that paint pictures in the mind of those you seek to inspire.

Since words communicate feelings, they move people to action. To become better at inspiring people and moving them to action, take note of the following insights.

Colorful Words:

Some words are more vibrant than others. And the way you form them makes you appear more powerful. As an example, if I said, ‘we can achieve our goal’. Depending on the modulation of my voice, some people will become inspired and moved to action. But, if I said, ‘if we stand strong, united as a single force, we can overcome anything – we can achieve our goal!”, with the same modulation as the first example, more people will become inspired.

Here’s another example. “Through a forceful fight, devoid of fright, we can forge our way to victory!” Out of the three examples, you’re probably moved more by this one. I’m sure you can sense the sensational difference too. The last two examples where more moving, more inspiring, more colorful. They had more rhythm, too.

Rhythm:

The rhythm in which you deliver your words also impacts their perception. You may have observed the rhythm in the second example. The words stand, strong, united as a single force. They set the tone and rhythm for, ‘we can overcome anything – we can achieve our goal!’ Where rhythm is concerned, the more your words end on a beat, the better they sound to someone’s ears. Then there’s alliteration.

Alliteration:

Alliterations can also be impactful and lead one to become inspired. They can move a listener to action due to the rhythm and pictures they create. Forceful, fight, and fright, were the words used to alliterate and paint a picture in the third example. Those words were the backbone upon which life was given to, “Through a forceful fight, devoid of fright, we can forge our way to victory.” I’m sure that example conjured up more imagery in your mind’s eye. I bet it was more inspiring, too.

When it comes to inspiring people, the more colorful words you use, along with rhythm and alliteration, the greater the image you’ll paint upon the perception of their mind. That will also be the source by which you’re able to inspire them.

By taking note of what’s mentioned above and employing it during your efforts to inspire others, you’ll increase your degree of influence, be perceived as more of a leader, and become more admired. You will have reached a higher summit in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, words are the means through which you communicate your position. To be more impactful, you need to be aware of how to use those words to move the other negotiator to your perspective. By utilizing the examples mentioned, you’ll be well on your way to accomplishing that mission. Thus, if you want to win more of your negotiations, don’t take those insights lightly. If you do, you do so at your peril.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#words #inspire #InspirePeople #Best #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Use Stop-Loss Brackets When You Negotiate

“Knowing when to stop can be a life-saver. Using a stop-loss bracket helps to identify where you are in that process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you negotiate, do you use a stop-loss bracket to control your emotions and the flow of the negotiation? You should, because if exercised properly, it prevents your emotions from hijacking your decisions during the negotiation.

It’s important to have a stop-loss bracket in place because, if you’re not sure about the lowest offer you can accept, you may not maximize the negotiation’s potential. If you’re unsure of the top bracket, you run the risk of losing what you’ve gained and/or upsetting the other negotiator.

Setting Stop-Loss Brackets:

You create a stop-loss bracket in the planning stage of a negotiation. Below the bottom bracket are offerings you can’t accept. Above, is the upper bracket point that you should consider not exceeding – That’s due to the potential subjection of losing the gains you’ve acquired. If you exceed the upper bracket, you might appear as being greedy.

To set the brackets, assess your worse and best-case scenarios. Do this for the least and most you think you can obtain from the negotiation. Do the same per the thoughts you believe the other negotiator has about his brackets. You can assign a probability to each bracket to increase its potentiality (e.g. 40% chance of losing if I go above/below bracket). You’d make that appraisal based on the information you’ve gathered per the needs, reasons, and wants the other negotiator has for negotiating with you.

Once you’ve made your evaluation, test it in a mock negotiation with a counterpart that understands the needs of the party you’ll be negotiating with. That process may uncover thoughts you’d not considered. If they do, consider altering your brackets to reflect the new insights you’ve gained. You may flirt with adjusting your percentage probabilities, too.

Controlling Negotiation Flow:

As you engage in the give-and-take of the negotiation, test the other negotiator’s bottom bracket by making a ridiculously low offer – this will also help set his expectations for what he can achieve. Be careful not to insult him. To avoid that, prior to making the offer, you might consider saying, “Please understand that I’m under tight guidelines per what I can offer in this situation.” Having stated that, you’ve prepared him for what’s to come. Once you make the offer, observe his reaction.

If he accepts your low offer, consider lowering what you thought his lower bracket would be. If he immediately rejects your offer without giving it real consideration, you may have to test him again or think about slightly upgrading his lower bracket. Throughout the process, he’ll be assessing your brackets, too. So, consider how you’ll respond to his offers. The exchanges that both of you have with one another will control the negotiation flow.

Conclusion:

Stop-loss brackets are excellent to control yourself and a negotiation. Since you know what you can accept before you sit at the table, you don’t have to involve your emotions.

To make the process work better, know when you’re near your lower and upper brackets and those of the other negotiator. Once you reach your upper bracket, test it by asking for something slightly above what you’ve acquired – do it gently. As an example, you might say, “I really appreciate the effort that you’ve put into nearing the agreement that we’re about to make. I’d like to ask you for ‘x’ if you can do it.” If he grants it without making a counter-request, you’ve just received something in addition to what you had. If he requests something in return, you know you’ve reached your stopping point. Either way, you’ll be in a better position … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Persuasion #StopLoss #Bracket #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Moves You the Most Fear: Reward or Pain?

“The difference between fear, reward, or pain, is the emotional state that either creates in you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you know what moves you to action the quickest? I know it depends on the circumstance you’re in. But sometimes, we’re moved more by fear than reward or pain.

You should always be aware of what moves you to action in any situation. Doing so allows you to be more aligned with your decision-making process. And that allows you to understand why you choose to engage in certain actions.

The following are thoughts to consider when assessing how to decide about an action you’ll take. Being aware of those observations will also help you identify the source of motivation that’s controlling your thoughts.

Fear: Most people are motivated more by the fear of loss versus the reward of gain. You can test yourself by examining something that’s of value to you. Assess to what degree you’d feel pain if you no longer had it. Now compare that to other items (i.e. people, things) that you value. Now how do you feel? Through that quick simulation, you’ve prioritized what is of value to you. And, you’ve assessed the emotional state you’d be in if you no longer had it. You can make the same calculations when weighing the benefits of possibly acquiring something new versus not doing so because of where that process might lead. Also remember, something new carries intrinsic risks – it’s unknown – it has no history and thus no track record. It might look good in the beginning and be fraught with hidden dangers to come.

Reward: This can be a great motivator. But you should also note why you’re driven by a reward. If the driving force is to escape what you’re moving from, you should consider that fear might be the predominant source that’s motivating you. That’s important because you don’t want to think you’re driven by reward when the source is fear. The two motivators are directed by different mindsets within you.

The true motivation of reward might appear as you being happy and seeking more to enhance that feeling. As a result, you’re willing to take a risk to obtain what you seek. Always question when seeking a reward what the hidden risk is. Question to what degree it’s the loss of something that you’re familiar with. Thus, make your calculations appropriately to determine if you’re propelled by moving towards or away from something.

Pain: Pain can be a feisty motivator. On the one hand, most people attempt to avoid pain. Then, there are those that embrace it as a source to grow from. Either psyche may be the motivator that moves you to action.

Like the association that fear and reward have to one another, the avoidance of pain can be the conductor that divides one direction from another. That’s to say, if you’re predominately attempting to avoid pain, you may forgo the risk of reward. If you’re immune to pain, you may be more daring. Again, there’s a thin mental line that separates the mindset that’ll move you in one direction versus another. Know what that mindset is.

Always attempt to understand the sources that motivate you. They’re the lifeblood of your being. Thus, the more you know the process that controls its flow, the better you’ll be able to direct it … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you’ll be motivated to take action based on fear, reward, or pain. If you’re aware of the driving force that motivates you to action, you should be better positioned to control those actions. By being in greater control of yourself, you’ll be in greater control of the negotiation and the other negotiator. That means that he won’t be able to easily ‘push your buttons’ … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #Reward #Pain #Negative #Stop #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

Persuasion – How to Use It in the Negotiation Process

“To become more persuasive, magnify your subject’s needs. Also, know how and when to give or take those needs away.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I attempted to coddle him as a method of persuasion. It didn’t work! He told me to put my offer where the sun doesn’t shine. I was speechless!”

What forms of persuasion do you use in your negotiation process? Every negotiator attempts to motivate her opponent through persuasion.

When considering how you’ll persuade another negotiator, you must consider her personality type, the situation you’re in, and the negotiation environment. Those variables will have a large impact on your use of persuasion in the negotiation process.

The following are a few thoughts to consider when deciding how you’ll address those variables in your negotiations.

Personality Type:

In the opening scenario, it appears the negotiator used the wrong form of persuasion – and was harshly admonished. Here’s something to consider when attempting to persuade someone based on their personality type.

  • Takeaway – Most people are more motivated by a fear of loss. That means, they’ll protect what they’ve gained rather than risking its loss for greater gains.
  • You can assess someone’s risk adversity by extending an offer of something they want, making it conditional upon their immediate acceptance, and taking it off the table if they decline. Later in the negotiation, make reference to that offer and observe their reaction. If they give an inkling of wanting it, they’re displaying the effect that the takeaway had. Even if they do accept the offer, you will have gained insight into the degree of risk adversity that they’re willing to undergo. You can use that insight throughout the negotiation.

Negotiation Situation:

Every negotiation is shaped by the value sought. That means the degree of effort applied is based on the perceived value and expectations of the outcome. Thus, if there’s a low expectation of value, the need to persuade or dissuade will be in direct correlation to that expectation. Keep that in mind when utilizing the following thought.

  • What losses have the other negotiator incurred in the past and what effect did they have on him – Having this insight allows you to invoke the painful memories of what occurred in the past. Your subconscious suggestion is, you don’t want that to happen again, do you? You can also use that information as a lever to persuade him from not straying into dangerous negotiation waters.
  • Different situations will influence the need to project different behaviors. Understanding the conditional behavior that shapes that mindset will indicate whether to use coddling or disdaining tools of persuasion.

Negotiation Environment:

The negotiation environment plays a huge factor in your ability to persuade someone. You can use surroundings to summon past emotional experiences. To do so consider these questions …

  • Who else is in the environment and what influencing persuasion is their presence casting on the other negotiator?
  • What has been the experience in the past that the other negotiator has had in environments like this?

Subliminally, we’re moved to adopt certain actions based on the environment. Thus, some actions would not be adopted if the surroundings were different. Having control of these variables allows you to project a greater degree of persuasion.

Other Things to Consider:

There are other things to take into account when assessing how you’ll be more persuasive in your negotiation. Such as …

  • Ethnicity
  • Gender
  • Culture
  • Position (superior vs. subordinate)

I will address the above variables in a later article.

As you can see, there are many ways to use persuasion in a negotiation. Above are just a few of those ways. There’s one thing that’s irrefutable, if you misuse your efforts of persuasion, you’ll diminish your negotiation efforts. To lessen that probability and to enhance your chances of having a more successful negotiation outcome, consider implementing the thoughts above … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Persuasion #Use #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Negotiations Skills Women In Business

What is the Best Line to be In?

“There’s a thin line that separates the aspects of your life. To control those aspects, take note of when the line is fraying.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Have you considered that you stand in many lines throughout your life? Some lines are long – some are short. But do you know what makes either the best line to be in – and why you should consider it? The answer is, lines lead to wherever you’re going in the next phase of your life. They also dictate how you feel as you enter that journey.

You’ll be boarding the plane shortly. The pathway to the entrance of the plane is separated by a thin hard-plastic strip. A sign on one side of the strip indicates that it’s for priority and first-class passengers. The other side says, economy. The boarding path is about 4-feet wide. That means the only thing that separates the boarding process between first-class and economy is that little hard-plastic strip. And it’s less than an eighth of an inch in width. Oh yeah, on the first-class boarding side, there’s a carpet with a sheen on it. Do you have a sense of priority about yourself, a sense that makes you feel first-class?

Change in Mindset:

Let’s change the scenario slightly. You’re still boarding through the first-class side. But you have 5 of your closest friends with you. Somehow, when you booked your flight, you were the only one that secured a first-class ticket. Thus, your friends are sitting in coach. How do you feel in comparison to them and how does that affect the relationships you have with your friends? Whatever it is, that line had an impact on it. It may be slight, but nevertheless, there was an impact.

In reality, the best lines you stand in throughout your life are the ones that protect your emotions while casting the status you wish to project. Those are the two factors that you can use to assess which is the best line to be in.

Here’s the point. Many times, I’m sure you obsess about being in a line that moves too slowly, or one that gives you a lower sense of status. But when all is said and done, the best line to be in is the one that makes you feel your best. And you’re the one that controls that feeling. So, if you know where you’re headed and you make the proper preparations to get there, the right line will avail itself to you. And even if it doesn’t do so at the time that you think is right, believe enough in yourself right then to know that the right moment will soon be right at hand … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Depending on the strategy that you plan to implement during the negotiation, it may behoove you to be viewed as being aligned or misaligned with the other negotiator. That means, you must be aware of when and where you draw a ‘line in the sand’ – give the other negotiator a deadline – or make an offer that pushes him over the line. In every situation, you’re forcing him into a line of decision making. If that position doesn’t serve you, don’t jeopardize the negotiation by pursuing it. Check your line of thought and reasoning.

You should always plan your negotiation with clarity and a sense of direction in mind. The way you implement that process will determine the degree of success you’ll experience. And that hinges on the lines of thought that you invoke in the mind of the other negotiator.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Line #Best #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Use Micro-Expressions to Negotiate Better

“The mind conceals hidden thoughts. Micro-expressions expose them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you aware that you can see the thoughts of other people? It’s not a magic trick. It’s accomplished by observing micro-expressions. Microexpressions are displays of emotion. They last for less than a second. They occur before the brain has a chance to alter the displayed emotion. Thus, the display is a genuine reaction to the stimulus that caused the emotion to be displayed.

There are seven microexpressions that are generic to everyone on the planet. That means if a stimulus occurred to someone in Europe or Asia, or anywhere in the world, the reaction would be the same.

This article identifies the seven microexpressions and how their recognition can be used in a negotiation.

Fear – Why do we become frightened? In part, it’s a way we protect ourselves. But fear can be debilitating too. In a negotiation, accurately detecting fear will give you an advantage. To obtain that advantage, you must know what the other negotiator is fearful of.

When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.

Anger – People become upset in degrees. When it reaches a point of nontolerance, that’s when it becomes anger.

When negotiating, always be mindful of the other negotiator’s temperament, as well as your own. In both cases, when one loses one’s cool, that person can become irrational. Manipulation can easily occur at that time. Thus, they’re opportunities contained in such a mindset if you know how to advantage your position.

There are two main differences between the displayed microexpressions of fear and anger. With fear, eyebrows are raised and they’re lowered when displaying anger. In addition, with anger, one’s nostrils will flare like what a bull might exhibit prior to charging.

Disgust – In a negotiation, this is a temperament that we see when someone is not in agreement with our statement, offer or counteroffer. The other negotiator may say yes to the offer. But if he has his upper lip lifted and his nose turned up in a wrinkle while doing so, he just displayed the microexpression denoting disgust. It’s important to note the distinction between his words and actions because his statement of agreement is not as firm as his body language is indicating.

Surprise – Expressions of surprise can be good or bad (e.g. That’s better than I thought, or there’s no way I’d go for that.) You can recognize surprise by raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and a mouth that’s agape. Fear and surprise have these characteristics in common.

When negotiating, note if the expression of surprise stems from happy or sad expectations. If the other negotiator is too happy about an offer you’ve extended, you might consider reducing it.

Contempt – This gesture is conveyed by a sneer with one corner of the mouth turned upward. The meaning is, “I’m not enamored with this – I might think it’s insulting.’

Take note when you observe this gesture because it can lead to disgust and then anger.

Sadness – When sadness is displayed it’s done through drooping eyelids, lips turned down, and a change in the voice’s inflection and tonality.

If a negotiator displays sadness, it may stem from him realizing that you have the upper hand and there’s no negotiation wiggle room. If that’s a reality, don’t beat him up. You don’t want to turn that into anger, which might lead to unimagined responses.

Happiness – You’ll see this in the form of wide-eyes, a smile, raised cheeks, and a degree of exhibited gaiety.

When perceiving happiness, take note on what caused it but don’t let your guard down. If it’s genuine, you’ll sense an easy flow in the negotiation. If contrived, it may be an attempt to lull you into a false sense of security.

Negotiators look for advantages in every negotiation. Being able to accurately detect microexpressions can be the advantage you need. So, if you want greater advantages during your negotiations, look for the advantages that microexpressions offer. You’ll be a greater negotiator with greater outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.co 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

# microexpressions #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Know How to Stop Your Negative Thoughts?

“Either you control your negative thoughts, or your negative thoughts will control you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He worried about the worst-case scenario and his stomach became queasy due to his negative thoughts. He thought, “I’m through if this doesn’t work.”

I’m willing to bet that you’ve had such occurrences in your life – I know I’ve had them. Have you thought what causes us to focus on negative thoughts?  Do you know how to stop your negative thoughts from pummeling your mind?

What causes people to have negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts stem from our brain attempting to protect us. Thus, if it senses something that caused us angst in the past, we become guarded. We may do that even if our latest perceived threat is only loosely associated with a past occurrence. If we become obsessive, our thought may become negative.

To thwart the thoughts of past negativity, consider the fact that you survived whatever trauma came from it. More than likely you learned something new, something about yourself, and a new way to cope with negativity. I’m not suggesting that you haphazardly discount negative thoughts, I’m suggesting that you not allow them to debilitate you.

You can prevent negative thoughts from overwhelming you by:

1. Focusing on something more positive.

2. Getting drunk! You’re probably shocked I said that. I’m just joking. But that’s an example of how you can alter your thoughts. You can shock your mind, which will take it off the negative thought. While this may be temporary, you can do this over a longer period. Just keep thinking of more shocking thoughts.

3. Preparing for a worst-case scenario, know that you’re prepared if it occurs, and ridding your mind of the negativity associated with that thought.

4. Focus on what’s positive in your life. While doing so, negativity will take a back seat.

5. Use negative thoughts as a source of motivation. If something is nagging at you, realize that it’s doing so for a reason. Something is probably lurking in the subconsciousness of your mind. Elevate it to your state of consciousness. Then, you can deal with it. Once done, banish it to an island of loneliness.

Negative thoughts are the killer of wellbeing and advancement in life. Once you learn to deal with your negative demons, you will have slain a hidden source that prevents you from moving to higher points in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

If you’re focusing on negativity during a negotiation, you’ll be more likely to play defense. You’ll be less likely to go on the offense and take advantage of momentary openings. The latter will be due to your hesitation to act at that moment. More than likely, you’ll get stuck in an analytical mode. Before you realize it, the opportunity will have passed.

When you find you’re focusing too much on negativity during a negotiation, take a break and clear your head. Assess the cause and source of your thoughts. Create a strategy to deal with negative occurrences. Above all, never negotiate while in a negative frame of mind. Stop your negative thoughts.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Negative #Stop #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Out-Negotiate and Understand Powerful Handshakes

“When someone shakes your hand, take note of what their other hand is doing. Their other hand heightens the meaning of the handshake.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“During our introduction, I felt uneasy. There was something in his handshake that made me think that he was attempting to project himself as being powerful. I wasn’t really sure what that handshake meant but I knew he was sending me a message.” Those were words spoken by a team member when recalling how he felt at the outset of a negotiation.

Handshakes convey hidden meanings. They are one aspect of body language that people should pay more attention to. They can make you feel powerful, be perceived as powerful, or make you appear weak.

Continue reading to discover the hidden meanings conveyed simply by shaking someone’s hand.

Meaning of Handshakes:

  • Hand on Top – One hand on top of the other person’s hand

    • Normally, the person whose hand is on top is signaling superiority. But, allowing one’s hand to be on the bottom can be a ploy to allow the other person to believe he’s in a superior position.

  • Hard – One that appears to be overbearing

    • A hard handshake can be a sign of attempted intimidation. It can also stem from someone that is naturally strong and unaware of the strength they convey when shaking someone’s hand.
    • One’s perception is what denotes the degree that a handshake is strong or overbearing. If you’ve had prior encounters with the other party and have shaken their hand, you have a basis for comparison in the present situation. If you don’t have that comparison, consider what a normal handshake would be like from someone of the same size, gender, and background.

  • Weak – Lacking power, dainty, gentle

    • Weak handshakes convey the exact opposite meaning of those that are hard. Again, don’t necessarily infer that someone is weak because they deliver a weak handshake. It may be the way they wish you to perceive them at the outset of your meeting.

  • Hand/Arm Jerk – While shaking the hand, a quick movement is made that pulls the hand quickly in a jerking motion in one direction and then pushes it backward in the opposite direction.

    • Sometimes, in a playful setting, friends will engage in such banter. In negotiation settings, this gesture is most likely a subtle signal that the one exhibiting it plans to keep the other negotiator off guard. Take note when receiving such gestures and compare it to what follows.

  • Firm – Not too hard, not too soft, both hands parallel to each other

    • In a negotiation, negotiators state through this gesture that they’re equal and respectful of each other.

The person holding the handshake the longest is the one controlling it – they’re stating that they’re not ready to let go. A normal handshake usually lasts for 3 to 5 upward and downward movements. Any more is excessive, which means it’s being done for a reason.

Here’s the rub. Just because someone extends a weak handshake doesn’t make them weak, nor does a strong handshake make them strong.  It can all be a ploy. That means you can use this ploy as a tactic in your negotiations.

By understanding the meaning of handshakes, you understand more of what’s occurring. Thus, when someone shakes your hand, you can respond based on how you wish them to perceive you. That will alter the setting of any negotiation. That will also empower you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Handshake #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Skills Women In Business

Do You Know the Hidden Source of Your Happiness?

“To unveil your sources of happiness, you must know where it lives.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He spoke with his website designer. After the call, he felt a heightened sense of happiness. As he reveled in his bliss, he assessed his state of pleasure and reflected on why it was in abundance. He realized that those feelings stemmed from that conversation. He thought, “My website will be updated, which means my services and skills will be presented better. That will bring in more business and create more opportunities for me.”

Do you note when you’re happy? Are you aware of the hidden sources of your happiness? Sometimes, we’re happy and we’re not aware of it. It’s usually because we’re not attentive to what put us into an elated state. Are you aware of what causes that lack of recognition?

Continue reading and you’ll discover why it’s important to pay attention to your level of happiness and the benefits gained from doing so.

Know Yourself:

Do you really know what it takes to make you happy? Or, do you leave it to chance? If you relinquish such an important force to chance, without recognizing it, you’re neglecting your wellbeing.

The more attuned you are to your emotions, your dreams, and driving sources of motivation, the easier it’ll be to identify those variables. That means, regardless of your state of mind, you’ll be able to alter it. But to do that, you must be aware of how and when to exercise that control.

The more aware you are of the environments that challenge your happiness, the more opportunities you’ll have to avoid negativity. First, you must know yourself, know what you want, and focus on constantly moving in the direction of your needs and desires.

Accomplishments:

When you sense you’ve made accomplishments, you feel the momentum of progress. And that makes you experience happiness. Conversely, when you’re not making progress, you may feel like you’re in a rut. That diminishes your happiness.

If you’re more aware of your environments and the people in them, you can make better assessments about the probability of outcomes. That’s another reason you should surround yourself with like-minded people. They can serve to help you strive for higher achievements. Their actions can have a profound impact on you and your degree of happiness.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, your emotions sway from one end of the spectrum to the other. At times, they’re like a wild and uncontrollable ride. At other times, they’re akin to a pleasurable stroll on the beach. In either case, your emotions will dictate your actions. Thus, the more aware you are about what causes you happiness, the better you can control your emotions. With that, you’ll be in greater control of your actions when negotiating.

Happiness is truly a state of mind. If you’re more aware of the actions that lead to greater happiness, you’ll be able to induce that state more readily. You’ll also be able to use that skill in times when you might otherwise feel besieged by others, which could lead to unwanted outcomes.

When you learn to control the occurrences that lead to greater happiness, you will have created space where more happiness can reside. That will make you the controller of your happiness quotient … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Want to Know How to Negotiate Better?

“You should only seek to negotiate better if you seek to acquire better outcomes in life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you aware that they’re specific components that go into a good negotiation? Those components determine the probability of a negotiator’s success. If you would like to know how to negotiate better, note the components that follow.

Observe Body Language and Nonverbal Signals:

Being able to accurately detect body language and nonverbal signals allows a negotiator to hear and see the unspoken thoughts of the other negotiator. Most negotiators can detect when “something’s off”. But most miss more signals than they catch.

As the basis to reading body language, understand that one’s body always attempts to stay in a state of comfort. Thus, when a stimulus causes it to be out of that state, the body reacts to being out of balance. Therefore, to note when the body transfers from one state to another, note its cause.

Pre-Negotiation Probing Questions:

Negotiations are about control. It flows between you and the other negotiator throughout the negotiation. You can control that flow through questions.

Before engaging in the negotiation process, ask yourself deeply seeded probing questions (e.g. what you’re seeking from the negotiation, why do you want the outcome, what will you do if you can’t achieve it, what does a winning/losing outcome look like, etc.). The purpose of this is to uncover hidden thoughts that might drive your actions at the negotiation table. You should also put yourself in the shoes of the other negotiator and pose similar questions from his perspective.

Negotiation Strategies:

Be prepared to address the following occurrences in the negotiation.

Opening: Start by making sure that you and the other negotiator know what you’re negotiating for. Do this at the beginning of the negotiation by stating your understanding. You’d be surprised at the number of miscommunications that occur due to the negotiators not being on the same page.

Dealing with offers:

The first offer – Depending on your negotiation abilities, you can make the first offer – it will set an anchor. The tradeoff about making or not making the first offer really lies in your abilities to out-negotiate the other negotiator, due to the anchoring effect that the first offer provides.

Counteroffers – Make counteroffers with the degree of deliberation required for the situation. If the offer has a substantial bearing on the negotiation, don’t give the impression of countering it with haste. Remember, you’re conveying subliminal messages through your actions throughout the negotiation.

Take it or leave it – Don’t make this offer unless you’re serious about exiting the negotiation. This type of offer has a sense of hardening a negotiation if it’s not accepted. It also places you in a difficult position if you must retreat from it.

What if – The ‘what if’ offer can be used to test the other negotiator. It’s akin to being behind a shield. Because, if the other negotiator does not accept your offer, you’re not obligated to commit to it. Plus, you gain insight into his thoughts per what he will or will not accept.

Closing – You should be very vigilant in the closing phase of the negotiation. It’s the point that some negotiators make concessions to keep the deal together. Thus, savvy negotiators will take the opportunity to make a ‘slight’ request at that time. All the time, they’ve been planning for just this moment to do so.

As you know, they’re many moving parts to a negotiation. Thus, the more you can flow with the altering terrain that occurs, the greater the chances of success. Utilize the insights above and you’ll heighten that probability … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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