Your child slams the door. Melts down over something small. Suddenly refuses to do something they normally do without a problem.
Our first instinct is often to focus on stopping the behavior.
But what if the behavior isn’t the whole problem?
Behavior can be communication. Sometimes children show us through their actions what they don’t yet know how to tell us with words.
That doesn’t mean every difficult behavior is acceptable. It means that correcting the behavior without understanding what is underneath it can leave us addressing the symptom while missing what our child actually needs help with.
The next time behavior suddenly changes, try asking:
- What happened before this? Look for the breadcrumbs rather than focusing only on the explosion.
- What might my child be having difficulty expressing? Frustration, disappointment, worry, exhaustion, embarrassment, or a need for more choice can all show up through behavior.
- Can I connect before I correct? A child who feels understood is often much more available for the conversation about what needs to happen next.
Curiosity doesn’t remove boundaries.
It simply helps us understand what we’re actually responding to.
What behavior has been hardest for you to understand lately?
Hit reply and tell me. Sometimes the behavior that confuses us most is the best place to begin getting curious.
Love and Blessings,
Katherine
Originally posted at https://consciousparentingrevolution.com/what-if-the-behavior-isnt-the-real-problem/
