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How to Use Micro-Expressions to Negotiate Better

“The mind conceals hidden thoughts. Micro-expressions expose them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you aware that you can see the thoughts of other people? It’s not a magic trick. It’s accomplished by observing micro-expressions. Microexpressions are displays of emotion. They last for less than a second. They occur before the brain has a chance to alter the displayed emotion. Thus, the display is a genuine reaction to the stimulus that caused the emotion to be displayed.

There are seven microexpressions that are generic to everyone on the planet. That means if a stimulus occurred to someone in Europe or Asia, or anywhere in the world, the reaction would be the same.

This article identifies the seven microexpressions and how their recognition can be used in a negotiation.

Fear – Why do we become frightened? In part, it’s a way we protect ourselves. But fear can be debilitating too. In a negotiation, accurately detecting fear will give you an advantage. To obtain that advantage, you must know what the other negotiator is fearful of.

When detecting genuine fear, look for raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and parted lips with the bottom lip protruding downward.

Anger – People become upset in degrees. When it reaches a point of nontolerance, that’s when it becomes anger.

When negotiating, always be mindful of the other negotiator’s temperament, as well as your own. In both cases, when one loses one’s cool, that person can become irrational. Manipulation can easily occur at that time. Thus, they’re opportunities contained in such a mindset if you know how to advantage your position.

There are two main differences between the displayed microexpressions of fear and anger. With fear, eyebrows are raised and they’re lowered when displaying anger. In addition, with anger, one’s nostrils will flare like what a bull might exhibit prior to charging.

Disgust – In a negotiation, this is a temperament that we see when someone is not in agreement with our statement, offer or counteroffer. The other negotiator may say yes to the offer. But if he has his upper lip lifted and his nose turned up in a wrinkle while doing so, he just displayed the microexpression denoting disgust. It’s important to note the distinction between his words and actions because his statement of agreement is not as firm as his body language is indicating.

Surprise – Expressions of surprise can be good or bad (e.g. That’s better than I thought, or there’s no way I’d go for that.) You can recognize surprise by raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and a mouth that’s agape. Fear and surprise have these characteristics in common.

When negotiating, note if the expression of surprise stems from happy or sad expectations. If the other negotiator is too happy about an offer you’ve extended, you might consider reducing it.

Contempt – This gesture is conveyed by a sneer with one corner of the mouth turned upward. The meaning is, “I’m not enamored with this – I might think it’s insulting.’

Take note when you observe this gesture because it can lead to disgust and then anger.

Sadness – When sadness is displayed it’s done through drooping eyelids, lips turned down, and a change in the voice’s inflection and tonality.

If a negotiator displays sadness, it may stem from him realizing that you have the upper hand and there’s no negotiation wiggle room. If that’s a reality, don’t beat him up. You don’t want to turn that into anger, which might lead to unimagined responses.

Happiness – You’ll see this in the form of wide-eyes, a smile, raised cheeks, and a degree of exhibited gaiety.

When perceiving happiness, take note on what caused it but don’t let your guard down. If it’s genuine, you’ll sense an easy flow in the negotiation. If contrived, it may be an attempt to lull you into a false sense of security.

Negotiators look for advantages in every negotiation. Being able to accurately detect microexpressions can be the advantage you need. So, if you want greater advantages during your negotiations, look for the advantages that microexpressions offer. You’ll be a greater negotiator with greater outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.co 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

# microexpressions #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Know How to Stop Your Negative Thoughts?

“Either you control your negative thoughts, or your negative thoughts will control you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He worried about the worst-case scenario and his stomach became queasy due to his negative thoughts. He thought, “I’m through if this doesn’t work.”

I’m willing to bet that you’ve had such occurrences in your life – I know I’ve had them. Have you thought what causes us to focus on negative thoughts?  Do you know how to stop your negative thoughts from pummeling your mind?

What causes people to have negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts stem from our brain attempting to protect us. Thus, if it senses something that caused us angst in the past, we become guarded. We may do that even if our latest perceived threat is only loosely associated with a past occurrence. If we become obsessive, our thought may become negative.

To thwart the thoughts of past negativity, consider the fact that you survived whatever trauma came from it. More than likely you learned something new, something about yourself, and a new way to cope with negativity. I’m not suggesting that you haphazardly discount negative thoughts, I’m suggesting that you not allow them to debilitate you.

You can prevent negative thoughts from overwhelming you by:

1. Focusing on something more positive.

2. Getting drunk! You’re probably shocked I said that. I’m just joking. But that’s an example of how you can alter your thoughts. You can shock your mind, which will take it off the negative thought. While this may be temporary, you can do this over a longer period. Just keep thinking of more shocking thoughts.

3. Preparing for a worst-case scenario, know that you’re prepared if it occurs, and ridding your mind of the negativity associated with that thought.

4. Focus on what’s positive in your life. While doing so, negativity will take a back seat.

5. Use negative thoughts as a source of motivation. If something is nagging at you, realize that it’s doing so for a reason. Something is probably lurking in the subconsciousness of your mind. Elevate it to your state of consciousness. Then, you can deal with it. Once done, banish it to an island of loneliness.

Negative thoughts are the killer of wellbeing and advancement in life. Once you learn to deal with your negative demons, you will have slain a hidden source that prevents you from moving to higher points in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

If you’re focusing on negativity during a negotiation, you’ll be more likely to play defense. You’ll be less likely to go on the offense and take advantage of momentary openings. The latter will be due to your hesitation to act at that moment. More than likely, you’ll get stuck in an analytical mode. Before you realize it, the opportunity will have passed.

When you find you’re focusing too much on negativity during a negotiation, take a break and clear your head. Assess the cause and source of your thoughts. Create a strategy to deal with negative occurrences. Above all, never negotiate while in a negative frame of mind. Stop your negative thoughts.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Negative #Stop #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Out-Negotiate and Understand Powerful Handshakes

“When someone shakes your hand, take note of what their other hand is doing. Their other hand heightens the meaning of the handshake.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“During our introduction, I felt uneasy. There was something in his handshake that made me think that he was attempting to project himself as being powerful. I wasn’t really sure what that handshake meant but I knew he was sending me a message.” Those were words spoken by a team member when recalling how he felt at the outset of a negotiation.

Handshakes convey hidden meanings. They are one aspect of body language that people should pay more attention to. They can make you feel powerful, be perceived as powerful, or make you appear weak.

Continue reading to discover the hidden meanings conveyed simply by shaking someone’s hand.

Meaning of Handshakes:

  • Hand on Top – One hand on top of the other person’s hand

    • Normally, the person whose hand is on top is signaling superiority. But, allowing one’s hand to be on the bottom can be a ploy to allow the other person to believe he’s in a superior position.

  • Hard – One that appears to be overbearing

    • A hard handshake can be a sign of attempted intimidation. It can also stem from someone that is naturally strong and unaware of the strength they convey when shaking someone’s hand.
    • One’s perception is what denotes the degree that a handshake is strong or overbearing. If you’ve had prior encounters with the other party and have shaken their hand, you have a basis for comparison in the present situation. If you don’t have that comparison, consider what a normal handshake would be like from someone of the same size, gender, and background.

  • Weak – Lacking power, dainty, gentle

    • Weak handshakes convey the exact opposite meaning of those that are hard. Again, don’t necessarily infer that someone is weak because they deliver a weak handshake. It may be the way they wish you to perceive them at the outset of your meeting.

  • Hand/Arm Jerk – While shaking the hand, a quick movement is made that pulls the hand quickly in a jerking motion in one direction and then pushes it backward in the opposite direction.

    • Sometimes, in a playful setting, friends will engage in such banter. In negotiation settings, this gesture is most likely a subtle signal that the one exhibiting it plans to keep the other negotiator off guard. Take note when receiving such gestures and compare it to what follows.

  • Firm – Not too hard, not too soft, both hands parallel to each other

    • In a negotiation, negotiators state through this gesture that they’re equal and respectful of each other.

The person holding the handshake the longest is the one controlling it – they’re stating that they’re not ready to let go. A normal handshake usually lasts for 3 to 5 upward and downward movements. Any more is excessive, which means it’s being done for a reason.

Here’s the rub. Just because someone extends a weak handshake doesn’t make them weak, nor does a strong handshake make them strong.  It can all be a ploy. That means you can use this ploy as a tactic in your negotiations.

By understanding the meaning of handshakes, you understand more of what’s occurring. Thus, when someone shakes your hand, you can respond based on how you wish them to perceive you. That will alter the setting of any negotiation. That will also empower you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Handshake #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Skills Women In Business

Do You Know the Hidden Source of Your Happiness?

“To unveil your sources of happiness, you must know where it lives.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He spoke with his website designer. After the call, he felt a heightened sense of happiness. As he reveled in his bliss, he assessed his state of pleasure and reflected on why it was in abundance. He realized that those feelings stemmed from that conversation. He thought, “My website will be updated, which means my services and skills will be presented better. That will bring in more business and create more opportunities for me.”

Do you note when you’re happy? Are you aware of the hidden sources of your happiness? Sometimes, we’re happy and we’re not aware of it. It’s usually because we’re not attentive to what put us into an elated state. Are you aware of what causes that lack of recognition?

Continue reading and you’ll discover why it’s important to pay attention to your level of happiness and the benefits gained from doing so.

Know Yourself:

Do you really know what it takes to make you happy? Or, do you leave it to chance? If you relinquish such an important force to chance, without recognizing it, you’re neglecting your wellbeing.

The more attuned you are to your emotions, your dreams, and driving sources of motivation, the easier it’ll be to identify those variables. That means, regardless of your state of mind, you’ll be able to alter it. But to do that, you must be aware of how and when to exercise that control.

The more aware you are of the environments that challenge your happiness, the more opportunities you’ll have to avoid negativity. First, you must know yourself, know what you want, and focus on constantly moving in the direction of your needs and desires.

Accomplishments:

When you sense you’ve made accomplishments, you feel the momentum of progress. And that makes you experience happiness. Conversely, when you’re not making progress, you may feel like you’re in a rut. That diminishes your happiness.

If you’re more aware of your environments and the people in them, you can make better assessments about the probability of outcomes. That’s another reason you should surround yourself with like-minded people. They can serve to help you strive for higher achievements. Their actions can have a profound impact on you and your degree of happiness.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, your emotions sway from one end of the spectrum to the other. At times, they’re like a wild and uncontrollable ride. At other times, they’re akin to a pleasurable stroll on the beach. In either case, your emotions will dictate your actions. Thus, the more aware you are about what causes you happiness, the better you can control your emotions. With that, you’ll be in greater control of your actions when negotiating.

Happiness is truly a state of mind. If you’re more aware of the actions that lead to greater happiness, you’ll be able to induce that state more readily. You’ll also be able to use that skill in times when you might otherwise feel besieged by others, which could lead to unwanted outcomes.

When you learn to control the occurrences that lead to greater happiness, you will have created space where more happiness can reside. That will make you the controller of your happiness quotient … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Happiness #Source #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Want to Know How to Negotiate Better?

“You should only seek to negotiate better if you seek to acquire better outcomes in life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you aware that they’re specific components that go into a good negotiation? Those components determine the probability of a negotiator’s success. If you would like to know how to negotiate better, note the components that follow.

Observe Body Language and Nonverbal Signals:

Being able to accurately detect body language and nonverbal signals allows a negotiator to hear and see the unspoken thoughts of the other negotiator. Most negotiators can detect when “something’s off”. But most miss more signals than they catch.

As the basis to reading body language, understand that one’s body always attempts to stay in a state of comfort. Thus, when a stimulus causes it to be out of that state, the body reacts to being out of balance. Therefore, to note when the body transfers from one state to another, note its cause.

Pre-Negotiation Probing Questions:

Negotiations are about control. It flows between you and the other negotiator throughout the negotiation. You can control that flow through questions.

Before engaging in the negotiation process, ask yourself deeply seeded probing questions (e.g. what you’re seeking from the negotiation, why do you want the outcome, what will you do if you can’t achieve it, what does a winning/losing outcome look like, etc.). The purpose of this is to uncover hidden thoughts that might drive your actions at the negotiation table. You should also put yourself in the shoes of the other negotiator and pose similar questions from his perspective.

Negotiation Strategies:

Be prepared to address the following occurrences in the negotiation.

Opening: Start by making sure that you and the other negotiator know what you’re negotiating for. Do this at the beginning of the negotiation by stating your understanding. You’d be surprised at the number of miscommunications that occur due to the negotiators not being on the same page.

Dealing with offers:

The first offer – Depending on your negotiation abilities, you can make the first offer – it will set an anchor. The tradeoff about making or not making the first offer really lies in your abilities to out-negotiate the other negotiator, due to the anchoring effect that the first offer provides.

Counteroffers – Make counteroffers with the degree of deliberation required for the situation. If the offer has a substantial bearing on the negotiation, don’t give the impression of countering it with haste. Remember, you’re conveying subliminal messages through your actions throughout the negotiation.

Take it or leave it – Don’t make this offer unless you’re serious about exiting the negotiation. This type of offer has a sense of hardening a negotiation if it’s not accepted. It also places you in a difficult position if you must retreat from it.

What if – The ‘what if’ offer can be used to test the other negotiator. It’s akin to being behind a shield. Because, if the other negotiator does not accept your offer, you’re not obligated to commit to it. Plus, you gain insight into his thoughts per what he will or will not accept.

Closing – You should be very vigilant in the closing phase of the negotiation. It’s the point that some negotiators make concessions to keep the deal together. Thus, savvy negotiators will take the opportunity to make a ‘slight’ request at that time. All the time, they’ve been planning for just this moment to do so.

As you know, they’re many moving parts to a negotiation. Thus, the more you can flow with the altering terrain that occurs, the greater the chances of success. Utilize the insights above and you’ll heighten that probability … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#power #powerful #Negotiate #Negotiations #bodylanguage #Negotiator #Business #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Know When You Make Good Decisions?

“Decisions are the stepping stones you make to move from one phase of your life to the next. To be successful, know where each step leads.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When called into his boss’ office, he was glowing with pride. He thought, “I took a gamble, made the right decision and now I’m going to get that promotion.” As he walked out of his boss’ office for the last time, with his head hung low, he said to no one in particular, “How do you know when you make good decisions if they’re good decisions?” He was fired for making a decision that caused the company to lose its biggest client.

So, what criterion do you use when making decisions? And to what degree do you know or think you’ve made a good decision at the time you make it? Decision making can be dicey. Consider the following when engaging in your decision-making process.

Overall Goals:

Every decision will lead in one direction versus another. The variation may be slight. But, if you make a drastic decision that takes you further from your goals, you will have wasted valuable time and effort. Because that will put more distance between you and your goals. Before implementing major decisions, consider the impact that little decisions will have on your goals.

Where Does It Lead:

To be more mindful of the decisions you make, question yourself about where a decision may lead. Ask yourself, what will be the outcome of the decision you make and how will it impact other decisions? Will the possible outcome be too costly to bear? How will I and those that I care about feel emotionally about the outcome? If you sense a feeling of dread during this phase, it may be a warning to abandon the decision(s) you’re contemplating.

What if:

Play the ‘what if’ game when considering the decisions you’re contemplating. Ask yourself, what would happen if I didn’t make the decision – where would that leave me? Where would I be if I made it? What would happen next? By posing such a series of questions to yourself, you’ll gain deeper thoughts about where a decision might lead. If it leaves you in a place you rather not be, don’t make it – abandon it.

Consequences:

Decisions have consequences. Consider the ones that are more important more carefully. In part, assess the impact a decision will have on your life or those that significantly impact your life. For greater assessment ask yourself, what combined impact will my decisions have on others and how might that affect me, good or bad?

What does this have to do with negotiations?

During a negotiation, you’ll evaluate a countless number of decisions. Some will be easier to make. Because you will have discovered the paths to take during the planning phase.

For those decisions that might bear strong consequences, consider the outcome carefully. If you think a decision may leave you in a good place now but challenge your position later, it may behoove you to forgo it. There’s always another side to consider when considering decisions. Don’t ignore the consequences of that other side. Don’t make decisions in haste – there may be unforeseen consequences.

Even when a decision can appear to be the light at the end of a tunnel, that light can be a train coming at you. Be mindful of how, with who, and when you make decisions. The more you examine the possibilities of where they may lead, the better a handle you’ll have on the decisions to make … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Decisions #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Negotiator – Do You Know How to be More Powerful?

“Power is perceptional. To control the perception of power, control how it’s perceived.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“The patient fussed with her fur coat as she sauntered up to the doctor’s receptionist. “I have an appointment in 15 minutes with the doctor. Is she on time to see her special patients today?” The receptionist replied with a taunt to her tone, “The doctor’s patients are all special to her. She’ll see you soon.” With that, the receptionist left her station and engaged in other activities.

Are you aware that you can be perceived as more powerful by the way you present yourself? Do you know how to be more powerful as a negotiator? Continue reading and you’ll discover how to enhance your power in your negotiations.

Display of Empathy:

In the story above, the patient ‘sauntered’ into the doctor’s office, fussing with her fur coat and positioned herself as the doctor’s special patient. She projected an image of someone that was self-absorbed. Had she taken the time to observe the receptionist’s activities, commented about them and conveyed a pleasantry, the patient would have been displaying empathy. In doing so, she would have enhanced her power. Instead, she diluted it.

The display of empathy towards another’s plight is one way to bond with that individual. It also says subliminally that you’re not just concerned about yourself. You recognize the other person for what they’re dealing with.

Never discount the value or role that empathy plays in any interaction. It humanizes you while strengthening the emotional ties between people. And that enhances power.

Your Persona:

I’m the king. Bow down to me – Not! When you project an image of self-aggrandizement, some people will rebuff you. They’ll be appalled at the perception you have of yourself, which will cause them to become rigid to your request. While such a persona may work favorably with some people, over time, they too will become tired of it. Then, they will seek ways to avoid or demean you.

Your persona changes over the course of your life. Always attempt to align it with how you’d like to be perceived. During a negotiation, you can dilute a powerful position simply because your persona rubs someone the wrong way.

Demeanor When Rebuffed:

When you’re rebuffed, how do you feel? I’m sure your answer is dependent on who the person is, what the subject matter was, and where it occurred. Just as your answer depends on those variables, so it does with those you engage with.

To possess more power, limit its display to environments where it’s less likely challenged (e.g. boss vs. subordinate, etc.). In addition, if you know you’ll be in an unfriendly environment, have retorts ready that will subdue the subject of the rebuff. Just make sure you don’t escalate the situation and cause yourself distress.

Some of the reasons people are perceived as more or less powerful are mentioned above. There are more reasons but let those be a starting point. To enhance your negotiation efforts and outcomes, always be mindful of how you’re perceived. To the degree it fits the negotiation, align your perceived power based on the person you’re negotiating with. If it’s not perceived as being threatening or overbearing and that’s what you’re striving to achieve, you will have aligned the perception of your power successfully. That will make you appear to be more powerful … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#power #powerful #Negotiate #Negotiations #bodylanguage #Negotiator #Business #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

There’s No Shame in Ignorance

“There’s no shame in being ignorant. The shame comes from not dispelling it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body language Expert

“Alexa, who is Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert? Sorry, I don’t know that” was Alexa’s reply.

Do you think Alexa felt shame about not knowing the answer to that question – it didn’t? Alexa is artificial intelligence. It’s programmed to acquire knowledge. You’re like that too. You acquire knowledge and that reduces your ignorance. There should be no shame associated with engaging in that process.

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge. Everyone is ignorant of many things. So, why do people become shamed by it? This article explores that. And it abates the uneasiness that partners with ignorance.

The Stigma of Ignorance:

Sometimes, there’s a self-degrading stigma attached to ignorance. It generates embarrassment within the person possessing it. Don’t allow that to happen to you. And don’t allow others to weaponize ignorance against you. Understand your uniqueness. Use that as a shield. Then, if you want to become more knowledgeable about a subject, do so because it’s your desire. Don’t let others control you through their ignorance of who you are.

Self-Esteem:

Your self-esteem may come into question when asked for wisdom on a topic you don’t know. Momentary fear may kick in, depending on the circumstances. That dilemma can cause you angst.

If you’re stupefied by a question, alter your self-perspective. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just don’t know. If the subject matter is important, you can acquire knowledge. Don’t let it mentally debilitate you.

Fear of Unknown:

Do you fear not knowing the answers to questions simply because you don’t know what’s being sought? There are times when you become mentally constipated because of what you believe others think of you. Note when that happens. Allay your emotions by thinking that no one knows everything – there are things the person posing questions don’t know. Plus, you give your mental power to others when you allow them to control your self-perception.

Perception of Peers:

You may become daunted by ignorance when considering what friends and associates think of you because you lack knowledge in a certain area. If they’re ‘real friends’, you should be able to express your ignorance without fear of the negative perception of rejection. If that’s a concern, you can always push-back by saying, please reduce my ignorance or reveal your own. No one can make you feel ignorant. Only you have that power. Since you control it, control its perception.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, ignorance can open the door to fear. And fear can throw your negotiation off kilter. By planning extensively for an upcoming negotiation, you can reduce fear – do so by reducing unknown aspects that might cause it to occur. That means, during the planning process, consider as many variables as possible. Plan for them and have strategies ready to deal with situations that might threaten your negotiation position. Being prepared will disperse fears of where you might unwantedly venture into the negotiation. You will also cast the demon of ignorance into the dungeons of anonymity … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #shame #ignorance #ignorant #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Body Language Dread – How to Avoid Disaster When Negotiating

“To avoid disasters, recognize what they look like and avoid actions that lead to them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… He touched his knee! I thought, what does that mean? I #dread trying to read body language when negotiating!” An associate recounted her thoughts to me when discussing how she was attempting to avoid disaster during a negotiation. She wanted to understand and decipher the meaning of an individual’s body language. I told her, the gesture could have meant anything, nothing, or everything. Then, I went on to explain that one isolated body language gesture does not necessarily lend insight into someone’s emotions or thoughts – you must look at a cluster of gestures for that. I then stated, there’s an exception – it occurs when you’re observing micro-expressions.

Observe the body language gestures below. Cross-reference them to gain greater insight into the meaning they have when they’re clustered. That will grant you the insight into someone’s thoughts and what might have caused them. Being able to accurately detect these signals will enhance your negotiation abilities.

Crossed Arms:

Crossed arms by themselves does not mean that someone is unapproachable or close-minded. It could mean that the person is cold. Also, women tend to cross their arms more than men because of their anatomy.

To gain more insight about why someone crossed their arms, note the stimuli that caused it. To test their demeanor, say or ask something that will cause them to uncross their arms (e.g. that’s a nice watch – may I see it). Then, notice if they go back into their crossed arms position. If they do, you can test again with another question. After that, if they still cross their arms, you’ll have more information to make a better assessment of their demeanor.

Hands:

Movement – When someone speaks, note the timing of their hand movement. If it’s rhythmically aligned with their speech, subliminally, more believability will be lent to their words.

Handshakes – A handshake can connote hidden meanings (e.g. hands vertical to each other, we’re equal – hand on top, I’m superior). Never fall prey to the hidden meanings of handshakes. Good negotiators may intentionally allow someone to have the ‘upper hand’ as a ploy to convey subservience.

Fist – When a discussion becomes heated, observe when someone’s hand forms a fist. The fist can denote deepening anger or commitment in what’s being discussed. If the stimuli that caused the fist to be displayed was unintended, seek to de-escalate the conversation.

Smiles:

A genuine smile is denoted by crow’s feet at the corner of the eyes and elevated cheeks. It’s important to recognize the distinction from non-genuine smiles. Knowing the difference can assist in uncovering someone’s alignment.

Micro-expressions:

There are seven micro-expressions that are generic to everyone on earth. Thus, the stimuli applied to someone in Asia will have the same effect applied to someone in Europe, or anywhere else in the world. The seven micro-expressions are:

  1. Fear (eyebrows raised, wide eyes, lips slightly stretched & parted, bottom lip protruding downward)
  2. Anger (eyebrows down and together, eyes glare, narrowing of the lips)
  3. Disgust (lifting of the upper lip, scrunching of the nose)
  4. Surprise (raised eyebrows, wide eyes, open mouth)
  5. Contempt (one side of the lip raised and pulled in on one side of the face)
  6. Sadness (upper eyelids drooping, eyes unfocused, lips slightly turned down)
  7. Happiness (crow’s feet wrinkle around eyes, cheeks elevated, eye orbit muscle movement)

Misinterpreting someone’s body language can lead to unanticipated consequences. To assure that doesn’t occur to you, observe the gestures above when they’re clustered.

While reading body language is not a perfect science, it can give clues into someone’s thought process. Knowing what to look for, and interpreting nonverbal signals accurately, can help you avoid disasters when you negotiate … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Scares You?

“Sometimes, your imagination scares you. To assess your fears, check your unchecked thoughts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… The thought of that scared me. My focus was on what others would think if I failed.” An executive manager of a major international corporation spoke those words. I suggested that he shift his paradigm from thinking about failure, and what others would think, to one more positive.

Have you ever considered what scares you? While you might be frightened of some things, they may be the doorway that leads to greater opportunities. There are things that you should shy away from. Therefore, I’m not suggesting you go head-first into everything that scares you. Instead, reflect on the benefits that might reside within your fears.

Consider the following thoughts when assessing how, whether, and when you should embrace things that frightened you.

Identify what scares you:

Before you can address your fears, you must identify them. You should also identify why you’re lending legitimacy to them. In identifying them, note their origins. Do they stem for a hurt you experienced in the not too distant past, or do they stem from some further hidden source? The better you are at identifying the source of what scares you, the better you’ll be at assembling a plan to deal with those fears.

Assessment:

While assessing the source of your fears, assess if it’s something that you should rightfully be afraid of. Fear can serve as a warning. Thus, there are some things that you should avoid. In your assessment, label what’s real and what’s imagined when it comes to what scares you.

Imagination:

When we were kids, we dealt with things that frightened us by using imaginary forces. We even created imaginary friends. The point is, we used our mind to help us live in the reality we wanted for ourselves. We can still use our mind for that purpose. When confronting what scares you, imagine what will happen when you overcome your fear by addressing the thing that scares you. Imagine you’re receiving accolades for doing so. Now, how does that make you feel? It should make you feel good. After all, you’re only imagining it, which means, you’re in complete control … as you are always.

You can find motivation from the above thoughts and allow them to move you to action. Or, you can choose not to address your fears. But If you’re serious about achieving greater success in life, you must commit to challenging the things that jeopardize that success, that which scares you. After making that commitment, your life will instantly be on a straighter road to success … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, the fears of adopting one position versus another may cause you angst. But if you’ve considered the unexpected offers that might occur beforehand you will have planned on how to address them. That should allay your fear.

Nevertheless, if you’re caught by a scary situation, don’t show it through any body language and/or nonverbal signals (e.g. mouth agape, widened eyes). You don’t want the other negotiator to sense his momentary advantage. Instead, go into quandary body language display mode (e.g. hand on chin head cocked to one side, or chin resting in hand and on side of face). This action will give you time to think, while the other negotiator wonders what you’re thinking about. If you display a cunning smile while doing so, you may evoke fear in him.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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