Dear Katherine: Did I Go Too Far Trying to Meet My Son’s Needs?

Dear Katherine,

My 5-year-old LOVES sleeping with Mom and Dad at night. When we aren’t together, he says things like, “I’m so alone in this house,” which breaks my heart.

When he began coming into our room at night, we tried to send him back to bed. But eventually, I recognized that he has an unmet need for affection at nighttime, so I decided to go back to his room with him and sleep in his bed. 

This decision has unleashed bedtime chaos. My son isn’t sleeping better, my husband and I are barely sleeping at all, and now our daughter feels left out and isn’t sleeping well either. 

I wanted to meet his need, but did I go too far? 

Sincerely,

Totally Exhausted

Hey there, Totally Exhausted,

I feel for you! Sleep deprivation is no joke, and running on empty can be detrimental to our mental and physical health.

I don’t think you took it too far trying to meet your son’s needs. You were trying to be an understanding parent. Still, it sounds like you both need to do some problem-solving here.

Pexels Pnw Production 7678206

Conscious parenting gives us two paths to take in the face of conflict. The first is to show your child how a change in behavior or routine benefits them. The second is to show them how their behavior or routine keeps you from meeting your own needs.

I recommend approaching this scenario from both sides!

Your son is still young, but he’s capable of understanding your emotions.

Try saying something like. . .

Pexels Monstera 7352848

“I really wanted to support you and help you sleep through the night, so I decided to sleep in your room with you. But now, I’m exhausted. And when I’m exhausted, I can’t be the best version of myself for you. So we need to figure out something else that works for both of us.”

If your son is anything like most kids, he hasn’t had many opportunities to solve a problem like this one. Even the most “well-behaved” children are used to adults telling them what to do, which isn’t conducive to raising independent kids.

Avoid that common parenting mistake by encouraging him to brainstorm a list of potential solutions with you. Let him know that any idea is acceptable, no matter how silly or improbable. The important thing is that he feels heard and empowered.

Once he has the freedom to brainstorm with you, the two of you can decide on the next course of action. You may need to try different solutions to see what works and what doesn’t—but you’ll figure it out. . . together.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Want the chance to ask me your parenting questions live? Join our Tuesday Tips for Parents inside the Conscious Parenting Revolution Private Facebook Group.

You might also like

Would you be surprised to know that the invention of Doritos was influenced by a trashcan at Disneyland? In the...
According to Ziprecruiter, as of Aug 5, 2022, the average annual pay for a “Motivational Speaker” in the United States...
Hearing the phrase “you’re such a con-artist!” coming from the lips of a potential investor during a live pitch is...
Did everyone agree with everything you said at the last meeting of your top executive team? Did everybody follow the...
Subway currently holds the status of being the biggest fast-food chain on the planet. They surpassed McDonald’s and KFC’s store...
Did you know 60% of professional athletes end up broke within 5 years of retiring? Not Shaq though. Far from it,...
In 2012, Jack Conte and his wife, Nataly Dawn, were known as the indie band called Pomplamoose. They were bringing...
Did you know that only 9% of b2b companies rate their digital promotional efforts as highly effective? So chances are...
Nearly every self-made billionaires are obsessed with learning. This video reveals the top to recommended books that had the biggest...
“If you’re starting a company, you always want to aim for a monopoly and avoid competition. Hence, competition is for...
Meet the Former MMA fighter, high school dropout, and single father who had absolutely zero business background bought a business...
The Billion dollar Patagonia brand was started by a bullied teenager living off fifty cents a day learning how to...