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Watch Emotional Abuse When Negotiating With A Bully

“Emotional abuse only occurs when you allow the abuser to control you. To defeat him, control his abusive efforts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When negotiating with a bully, watch the emotional abuse you incur and mind your responses to it.

Bullies make some people experience an array of feelings in a negotiation. They do so for the pleasure of feeling superior to the other negotiator in an effort to exert their dominance. The emotional feelings they attempt to invoke can range from fear to hate to happiness. Yes, bullies can make you feel happy as the result of relinquishing the pressure they’ve applied to you. That’s another reason why you should monitor your emotions. You want to check them so you can display the proper response, based on your position in the negotiation at particular points. When it comes to watching your emotions take note of the following.

Fear:

Fear can invoke primal actions within you. When fearful, your normal thought process shuts down. Depending on the degree of fear you experience, your body prepares for a fight, flight, or freeze scenario. That deliberation can cause you to be thrown off your negotiation game (i.e. forget the negotiation strategies you’d planned to implement).

When you sense that you’re experiencing fear in a negotiation, note its cause. Consider to what degree its source will devastate you and your future position. The point is, diminish your thoughts of fear by contemplating how you can assuage it before continuing the negotiation, and recognize when it has you in its grips.

Anger:

Anger is another stealer of normal thoughts. It can be stoked by fear, which is also the reason you should control your perspective of fear and ager.

When angered, you can lose your perspective and rationalization. Thus, to negotiate from a mindset of anger will not serve you, it serves the other negotiator, instead.

Therefore, be aware of when the other negotiator is intentionally attempting to gouge you by instilling fear into the negotiation. Also, be mindful of what his attempts might look like before entering the negotiation. This can be accomplished by role-playing ahead of time. Just be mindful of elucidating your mind to how fear might be used against you, and be prepared to thwart such efforts.

Happiness:

Most people seek happiness as a constant state of mind. Our body seeks it too. Thus, when we’re not in a state of happiness, our mind will attempt to guide our actions back towards that state. It will also do ‘things’ to stay in that state, even if those ‘things’ are to our future detriment. It’s because of the latter that you should be hyper-vigilant when you’re in a state of happiness that’s been caused by a bully’s actions. You may not be off the hook. Instead, you may have been unknowingly placed deeper onto one.

To combat a bully’s effort to mentally manipulate you through the use of happiness, understand his motives for doing so. If his efforts don’t serve you, don’t appease him by succumbing to this tactic. Remain stern.

Anyone’s emotions can be strained when negotiating with a bully. Suffice it to say, you should stay on top of your emotions when negotiating with a bully more so than with other types of negotiators. Bullies can invoke extreme passion within you, which is why it’s so important to be mindful. If you’re aware of what can ‘set you off’, and not allow it to cloud your actions or judgment under such circumstances, you’ll be able to think clearer and negotiate better. That alone will give the bully cause for doubt, which means you’ll be turning his tactics against him. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How To Uncover Hidden Secrets In Negotiations

“Secrets are cloaked in darkness until they’re exposed by light. When suspension falls on hidden secrets, let the light shine brightly.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Don’t let what you know cause you to miss what you don’t know!” Those were the words of one negotiation partner to another, after they’d concluded a negotiation that appeared to be clouded by the doubt that there may have been hidden secrets burrowed in the words of their negotiation counterpart.

Upon reflection, the speaker of those words realized that there had been signals that he’d misperceived. He wondered about those signals as he pondered to what degree they might have covered hidden secrets.

In your negotiations, how much do you miss, due to what you think you already know? There are encoded messages within the words we use to communicate. Some contain hidden messages that carry hidden thoughts.

Note the following to gain more insight into the hidden secrets in the messages sent and received in your negotiations.

1. Take note when the real meaning of a word doesn’t carry the intent of the meaning you think it’s attempting to convey. That’s to say, note when you suspect that there may be an unspoken meaning of the word(s). You’ll experience a sensation of intuition when that occurs; take heed of this phenomenon when it happens. It will be your alert signal beckoning your attention.

  • They’ll be times when you sense there’s an implied meaning that’s not conveyed in the delivery of the words spoken. When you have such a sensation, be attentive to what you sensed that drew your attention to the feeling of suspect that you have. Uncovering that hidden meaning will allow you to uncover hidden secrets that the other negotiator may be attempting to conceal.

2. When people speak of themselves in the third person, become more attentive. They’re distancing themselves from their words.

  • When negotiating, you should always be attentive to everything that’s occurring in your environment. When it comes to someone speaking in the third person, you should become more attentive. Psychologically, he’s placing distance between himself and his words. He may be doing so due to his nervousness, his desire to protect something that you’ve gotten close to uncovering, or from sensing that he may have disclosed something about his statement that’s untrue. Regardless, his action was more than likely brought on by some action the two of you were engaged in. If you sense such is the case, pursue the line of interaction that put him in his third person state of mind. There’ll be something of interest there that may benefit you in the negotiation.

3. Compare your assumptions of what you thought would occur prior to the negotiation, to what actually occurred in the negotiation.

  • Engaging in a mental reflection process at the conclusion of a negotiation will allow you greater insights, per the way you were thinking prior to the negotiation. Your post insights will allow you to sharpen your perception about the perspective occurrences of future negotiations. That, in turn, will allow you to uncover hidden thoughts about the way you think. Knowing that, should allow you to become more circumspective as you engage in future negotiation.

There will always be some form of secrecy in any negotiation. If you possess a heightened sense of awareness when perceiving suspected hidden meanings, your reward will be in the uncovering of those secrets. That will be an insight that you can use to benefit your negotiation position … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Don’t Fall Prey To The First Enemy Of Uncertainty

“When it comes to uncertainty, it’s okay to pray about the direction to take. Just be sure not to fall prey to the uncertainty of that direction. Know when to follow and know when to lead.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

As he walked past an unseen man lying on the ground that he could not see, he heard someone exclaim, “he looks like he’s dying!” He thought to himself, “I’m uncertain of what to do. Others seem to be handling this. I’m not going to get involved.” He later discovered that unseen man was his father.

Are you aware of when you fall prey to the first enemy of uncertainty in a negotiation (You’re always negotiating)? Do you know what that is? The first enemy of uncertainty in a negotiation is the emotions, actions, and reactions you engage in, based on what those around you are doing or do. The opening statement highlights that point. The first enemy of uncertainty is doubt.

When you’re in an environment and you’re not sure of what to do, you seek direction from others in the environment; you may do this in a quiet mindset to assuage your mind of the lack of direction it’s offering you. Your uncertainty is the driver that’s not sure of where to go, so you seek the opinions and insights of others to direct you. Thus, by observing their actions or reactions, you gain a sense of what you might do.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with following the lead of the other negotiator; you can obtain great insights from doing so. The challenge lies in when you should lead from the front, lead from behind, or allow him to lead. If you’re in a leadership position up to that point, relinquishing the lead may seem or feel tenuous. You may even feel that your lack of direction is splayed for all to see, which might call your perceived leadership into question. If such is the case, realize that uncertainty has crept into your mind. The way you deal with it will determine the direction you take in the negotiation.  Don’t be mentally constrained by such a thought. Here are a few things to be aware of.

  1. You’re more likely to be influenced into some form of action based on where you see yourself in relation to the other negotiator (i.e. superior, in a controlling position, inferior, etc.)

 

  1. Based on what’s occurred prior to the point of uncertainty, you may be more or less circumspective. Be aware of this because it too will impact your perception and the actions you engage in.

 

  1. While you’re in a stage of mental siege, take note of what the other negotiator is doing. In particular, note the degree that he studies your actions. If he cues off of your actions, he may be wondering about your position or to what degree you’re contemplating his. If you sense the latter, don’t relieve him of his quandary. You can use that time to think about your next move.

Here’s the point. When you’re in a negotiation, at the first sign of uncertainty, stop and think. Don’t be mentally belabored by the perception of pending doom, or the fear of looking stupid. When it comes to uncertainty, we seek the leadership of others to lead us, or we can call upon our prior actions for that purpose. To combat uncertainty, know which source to choose.

When you heighten your sense of awareness about uncertainty, you’ll have greater insight into how to control it. Controlling it will be the key that unlocks the blockade where uncertainty lurks. That will allow you to banish the enemy of uncertainty, which is doubt … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Enemy #Uncertainty #Negotiation #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation

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The Danger In The ‘Us Versus Them’ Dilemma

“When it comes to an ‘us versus them’ mentality, potential danger looms in the inability to understand ‘them’.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“If we stick together, we can overcome them.” Those were the words of a devoted follower of his group. That is, he was a follower until he realized that he did not want to follow the group in the direction it was going.

There’s danger in the ‘us versus them’ mindset; it’s a dilemma people don’t realize when they’re in it. So, what is that danger and why should you be mindful of its pitfalls?

Psychologically, everyone needs to belong to an entity that’s larger than themselves. That’s not the dangerous part of the dilemma; the danger lies in the degree that you’re willing to follow the group, based on your own beliefs, and the confliction that might be caused as the result of those two being out of sync with one another. It also highlights what can occur, per how you view what the group terms as enemies of its norms. You hear that in the intonation of, “they’re not like us.” Therefore, something must be wrong with them.

If one adopts the latter mindset, their mind becomes clouded by the prominent thought that someone that doesn’t share the same norms as the group that they belong to, must be ‘missing the boat’ (i.e. not seeing something right). Once such a mindset is adopted, you’ll seek confirmation in the actions of those that are unlike your group, to confirm why you can’t treat them like you treat members of your group. In essence, your mind will have been jaded to receiving positive thoughts and ideas that might otherwise allow you to see ‘the others’ in a positive light.

If you want to be more open-minded, do so by believing, and allowing your thoughts to be moved by, the thinking that people may have different opinions and perspectives about something, but because they do, that doesn’t make them wrong or a bad person.

When it comes to ‘us versus them’, keep an open mind with the intent to discover something new about the perspective being discussed. Doing so will allow you to gain more insight into anything that you weigh. That will make you a more informed individual … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, you should always be mindful as to how you’re being influenced by the biases you have, towards the person making the proposal or offer. Even if you don’t like the initial offer, don’t let your initial emotions alter its appearance. There may be more than meets the eye, if you keep an open mind and consider any hidden benefits the offer might contain.

Good negotiators are aware that they can control a negotiation better, by controlling themselves. When it comes to, ‘us versus them’ in a negotiation, such a demeanor will only serve as a blight on an otherwise more successful negotiation outcome.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Danger #Dilemma #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Know When To Trust The Truth?

“The truth is the opposite of a lie that’s believable. Watch what you believe!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“You don’t know what the truth looks like, even though I’ve recited it numerous times to you through my ever-changing story.”

What does the truth feel like, sound like, look like, when you feel it, hear it, see it? How do you determine to what degree the truth has been told? The truth can be fluid. That means, we know what the truth is today, based on what we’ve known to be truthful in the past. Then, as greater insight, discoveries, and other machinations are introduced into our environment, a new truth can emerge.

It’s important to understand how you discern what you perceive to be the truth because others can manipulate you, based on what they know of your ability to distinguish between fact from fiction.

To become more cognizant as to when someone might be engaging in the truth, versus having no relationship with it at all, take note of the following insights.

Demeanor – Yours and Theirs:

Always note the demeanor of someone when they engage with you. In particular, note to what degree they feel at ease, uptight, or normal (whatever that is as it relates to their demeanor); you can observe this by noting how they act/respond in un-stressful environments. The non-stressful environment will become the basis from which to make and compare future assessments. You should also be mindful of how you feel as the result of being with the person that’s speaking to you. Your demeanor will put you into a particular mindset that sets your perception and expectations about that person’s ability to tell the truth.

Intuitiveness:

When it comes to truthfulness versus deception, you know more than you think you do. When was the last time you had a ‘feeling’ about whether someone was telling you the truth? What did you experience? Was it something they said, the way they said it, or maybe the way they looked when they said/did it. When you had that sensation, your intuitiveness had kicked in; something triggered it. If you were aware through which senses you perceived such signals, you can use the same sense(s) to heighten your awareness in the future. Never discount a gut feeling. That’s your subconscious mind beckoning your attention.

Story In Order:

When people lie, they tend to fill their story with detail and they’ll attempt to tell their story in a chronological order. To catch such a perpetrator, take one aspect of his story and slightly change it as you recite it back to him; don’t let on that you’re doing so to see if he corrects you, or agrees to your version of his story. If he doesn’t correct you, do the same with another section of his story to see what he does. If he lets that one go too, feign forgetfulness and ask him to repeat the story. Note to what degree the story changes from the original version. To the degree that it does, you’ll know where the lie lies.

Body Language:

When someone is being truthful, their body language is aligned with their words (i.e. hand and eye movements are synched with words). If you note subtle changes in their demeanor, as they profess to tell you the truth, note the question you posed that caused such a reaction. The question you posed, and their reaction to it, will be a guidepost that indicates the degree that you may be uncovering their lack of truthfulness.

There are many reasons why someone may wish to avoid being 100% truthful with you. If you set the ‘right’ environment, observe the storyteller’s body language, and you’re mindful of this person’s demeanor you’ll create the space in which more of the truth can reside … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Trust #Truth #Negotiation #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #detectingLies  #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #HowToHandleObjections

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Know When You’re Playing A Long Versus Short Game

“The less you leave to chance, the less chance will be the source that leads you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He gently stroked her hand as she was transitioning from this world to someplace more worldly. As he did, he gently whispered to no one in particular, “had I known you were going to be such a pivotal force in my life, I would have treated you differently.”

In your dealings with people, do you play a long or short game (i.e. develop long-term or short-term strategies)?

To a degree, that’s a trick question. Yes, you should have strategies developed based on what you’re attempting to achieve in a relationship, and those strategies will be based on the person that you’re involved with. That means you’ll develop strategies for family members and others that are close to you that are different from those that do not fall into that category.

You may not be aware of the degree that you’re implementing strategies when dealing with people, but nevertheless, you are implementing strategies. Even if it’s just at a subconscious level, you engage with others based on the benefits derived from doing so. If you raise your sense of awareness, related to the short-term gains/opportunities you seek from such engagements, you can gain greater control of yourself and those interactions for the long-term.

When you’re mindful of what you want from a relationship, you become more aware of what you need to do to enhance it. That should trigger the degree of willingness you put forth to engage in actions that promote what’s required for that enhancement.

With a heightened sense of awareness, per the value you associate with any relationship, you gain greater control of where the relationship goes. So, no matter where you are in a relationship, reflect on what you want from it, what you’re willing to change about it, and where such changes might lead. In making such assessments, you’ll find paths to longer, more satisfying relationships … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

If you’ve followed my articles, you’re aware that my motto is, “you’re always negotiating.” That means, what you do today impacts tomorrow’s outcomes. When it comes to playing a long or short game in a negotiation, your strategies might tend to be more to the point in a short-term undertaking, while the opposite will more likely be the case if the negotiation will be protracted. Thus, one strategy you may adopt in future negotiations, especially if you’re not sure where it might lead in the future, is to treat a short-term engagement as though it was long-term. Doing so may disclose unforeseen benefits.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#LongGame #ShortGame #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Is The Color Of Money In Your Negotiations?

“All that glitters may not be gold, but if you know where value resides and how to extract it, you can turn any color into green (i.e. money/opportunity).” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I’m a grown man and I don’t want my bedroom painted pink!”

Those were the words of an exasperated man exclaiming his displeasure to a movie scout, that wanted to paint the man’s bedroom a color that the man didn’t think was manly. The scout had very excitedly told the man how perfect his house was for a scene that had to be shot within a few days for a movie with a big budget. The scout had also let on that the movie company didn’t have a lot of time to investigate other properties. The more the scout talked, the more he placed his negotiation position in jeopardy.

In reality, when the man was stating his displeasure with the color of the room, he did so as a setup to extract more money from the movie scout.

What ploys do you employ to enhance your negotiation position? Do you know what the color of money is (opportunities) in your negotiations?

The following insights will allow you to quickly identify hidden opportunities in your negotiations.

1. When the other negotiator constantly talks, let him. The more he talks the better off you’ll be. He’ll divulge information and insights that you’ll be able to use in the negotiation.

2. Before your negotiation, consider what points of leverage you can obtain, simply by placing a strategic objection at the appropriate time. Opportunities occur in every negotiation, but they’ll be missed if you don’t know what to look for. Plus, if you plan for them, you’ll be more mindful of how you can promote them to

3. To be even more effective, consider the rebuttals that might be offered to your objections. Then, think of the body language you’ll exhibit to assist in your ruse. As an example, you can display disgust by curling one corner of your lip. Even if the other negotiator is not aware at a conscious level of what that means, he’ll sense it at a subconscious level. Depending on his overall demeanor and the timing of the display, he may adopt a mercurial nature that states, you can go faster, or that it’s time to slow down. Be aware of which one it is. Nevertheless, when body language and words are synchronized, your words have a more powerful impact on you.

4. Know when to forge forward with a request and know when to ease up. Such direction can be gleaned from the reaction of the person you’re negotiating with, based on the body language and words they use to respond. As an example, if you receive several concessions as the result of your ploys, you might consider giving in to a hard and strident pushback you receive. The theory is, let him win sometimes, so he’ll grant you more concessions.

5. Always be mindful of your emotions. The more you keep your emotions in check, the greater control you’ll have over them, and the other negotiator.

In the opening situation, I described how a man used the color pink to obtain more green (i.e. money). If you’re observant of situations that offer you the opportunity to enhance your negotiation position, you too can gain more from every negotiation you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#moneyMatters #RecognizingValue #HandlingObjections #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #HowToHandleObjections

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Know When Good Enough Is Good Enough

“To avoid ‘good enough’ from being supplanted by sorrow. Know where ‘good enough’ resides, in relationship to despair.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I hit the mark!” “No, you didn’t hit the mark!” “Well, we won! So, I hit enough of it and that was good enough!”

That was a snippet of a conversation held between two associates. In essence, they were discussing to what degree they’d accomplished their goal, versus if they accomplished enough of it to consider the outcome a win.

In everyday life, our mind is bombarded with hordes of information; a lot of that is sheltered from our state of consciousness to protect us from information overload. One way to be more productive, while also maintaining a more even-keeled life, is to know when good enough is good enough.

When it comes to outcomes sought, we must always be mindful of the law of diminishing returns. That law states, at some point the degree of effort you put into maximizing the acquisition of a goal or opportunity, that effort becomes diminished per the time and resources you put forth to do so. Thus, in order to maximize the time and effort you put into achieving a goal or opportunity, you should set parameters that indicate your proximity to a point of diminishing return. To do otherwise could mean that you lose a degree of productivity, along with a mental, more peaceful state of mind. The latter will lead to more stress in your life, which could lead you into a vicious downward spiraling stream.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

To win more negotiations, you have to know when ‘good enough’ is good enough. Don’t become overly transfixed on squeezing every little bit of gain out of a negotiation. Doing that could lead to the forfeit of some of the gains you’ve achieved.

As in everyday life, in a negotiation, set parameters that indicate when you’ve reached a ‘good enough’ point. In a negotiation that indicator can be enacted by bracketing your expected outcome (e.g. high point, mid-point, low point).

If you find yourself transitioning from the mid-point of your expected outcome into the high point, that’s the time to become more aware of what’s occurring in the negotiation (i.e. noting the demeanor of the other negotiator and the temperature of the negotiation). Taking those factors into consideration when assessing to what degree you should move forward will allow you to make such a judgment without the evaluation process that might otherwise be required.

If you use these thoughts to capture the essence of the outcome you seek to achieve in your negotiations, you’ll keep more of the gains you acquire … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember you’re always negotiating! 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#GoodEnough #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

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Negotiations – How Not To Be Cowered By A Bully

“A bully is someone that attempts to pain you, to relieve the pain in himself.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“That was a stupid question!”

Those were the words uttered by someone who considered himself to be superior to the person that posed the question. Such a response can also be the positioning attempts of a bully.

When negotiating, you need to know how not to be cowered by a bully. Doing so will allow you to negotiate more effectively, maintain a more peaceful state of mind, and reduce the overall level of stress you might possess at the negotiation table.

This article discloses insights that will allow you to be better prepared to deal with a bully in your negotiations. It can also serve as a booster for your degree of confidence when dealing with such a person.

Know when someone is truly attempting to bully you.

As I’ve stated in other articles that I’ve written, before assuming someone is attempting to bully you, be sure your assumptions are accurate. This can be accomplished by asking outright if the other negotiator is trying to bully you and/or stating that you feel bullied; the choice you adopt will be dependent on the type of person you’re engaged with. In the case of someone that’s just aggressive, and not a bully, if you state that you’re feeling bullied and say so with a smile on your face, that may alert him that he needs to become subdued.

Understand the thought process behind a bully’s effort to bully you.

You also need to understand what a bully thinks of you. Ask yourself, does he perceive me to be an easy target, someone that will back down at the first sign of aggression, or is he testing me to see how I’ll react? Having this insight will reveal the options you might utilize to combat his efforts. You should have gathered information about the bullying efforts that he’s used in other situations, which means you should be prepared for how he might negotiate with you. But, in case you haven’t, be nimble enough to have strategies at the ready, to deter his bullying attempts.

Consider his source of leverage/power.

Power is fluid. That means it changes from moment to moment. If you understand the source of his power, if you can’t attack him, you can attack it. This is done by letting that source know that it will have a price to pay, as the result of the bullying activities of its associate. Knowing his sources of power will also allow you to gain leverage by simply mentioning the fact that you’re aware of who his ‘backers’ are.

In a negotiation, a bully is as strong as he and you agree he is. Thus, to the degree that either perspective is altered, so is the perspective of the bully’s power. Therefore, if you know you’ll be in an environment in which someone may attempt to bully you, especially if they’ve displayed such tendencies in the past, be prepared with retorts stating, “you don’t want to try that with me. I bite back!” Just be mindful of not escalating a situation passed a point that you can’t control. Such rebukes will allay the bully’s perspective and thoughts about picking on you, which means, he’ll more than likely engage with you in a more respectful manner … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Bully #Bullying #HandlingObjections #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #hardpower #HowToHandleObjections

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

You Can Have More Control Than You Realize

“To have greater control in your life, start by controlling what you control in your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

That was what she said with passionate sincerity as soon as he answered the phone. Her cell phone battery had died, right at the time when she and her friend were supposed to be deciding where they were going to meet. Both had been driving to meet each other at an undetermined destination. She knew he’d be upset because she knew the demeanor he’d displayed in similar situations in the past.

By saying “I’m sorry” numerous times, as soon as her battery had enough power to call him, she defused a situation that could have quickly gotten out of control. That was also the way she controlled that situation.

What do you do to defuse and control situations before they get out of control? You can have greater control in any situation by first making a genuine effort to connect with someone. You can do this by displaying heartfelt empathy for the plight that the person is experiencing; this should be done in a manner that allows him to sense that your actions are sincere. To the degree that you can suspend negative prejudgments that might afflict your thoughts about the person related to past encounters (e.g. he’s going to be enraged with me, so I’d better adopt a posture that says don’t push me too far), you can stay ‘in the moment’ and foster a mindset that’s less fraught with despair. That will allow you to be perceived as being more empathetic.

My motto is, “You’re always negotiating!” That means, what you do today influences tomorrow’s outcome. Thus, a person’s actions today gives insights into how he might react to situations tomorrow. The woman mentioned in this story knew how her friend would react to not being able to reach her. Thus, she was able to control him by stating so profusely how sorry she was.

If you become more mindful of the actions you engage in with others, you too can shape their future actions/reactions. That means you’ll have greater control of your life’s activities … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, like a game of chess, you have to be aware of how your opponent will respond to moves you make. Being aware, based on past experiences about that person’s actions, allows you to predict with more certainty how he’ll respond in different situations, which will give you greater control throughout the negotiation. That in turn, allows you to make the moves (i.e. offers/counteroffers) that will progress the negotiation in the manner that suits your negotiation plans. That also means, your negotiation efforts will net greater outcomes for you.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement