Sleep. It’s one of the last things we’re getting enough of when we’re struggling with a betrayal, shock, or trauma of any kind. All of the painful thoughts, reminders, and triggers that you may have been able to outrun during the day seem to come out in full force at night.
When we’re busy and distracted, we can put these things on the back burner but they seem to show up at night in full force. It’s when the thoughts we’ve been outrunning seem to look to be processed, looked at, dealt with. This is when the “monkey mind” can keep us tired and wired for hours.
Sleep is absolutely essential for the healing process.
It needs to be a priority and it’s not just about the number of hours you’re sleeping, but the quality too. Restful, reparative, and restorative sleep is what’s needed to help us cope, think more clearly, and better move through our experience.
Think about it. Even when you’re not under extreme stress and you haven’t gotten the sleep you needed. You’re on edge, it’s hard to think clearly, and it’s challenging to make wise decisions. So if you’re under the stress of betrayal, shattered trust, or reeling from something you never saw coming, it can be brutal.
It’s important to not only be able to fall asleep, but to stay asleep. Quality melatonin will help you fall asleep and melatonin is also a great antioxidant. So many studies talk about the benefits of melatonin. When there’s also the right support which also includes 5-HTP (which is 5-Hydroxytryptophan), that’s going to help you stay asleep. This also supports serotonin, which is a feel-good neurotransmitter, so it’s going to help with depression too; something common to betrayal as well.
P5P (a natural, most bioavailable form of B6) is also essential. Theanine is a great calming neurotransmitter and GABA (a calming and relaxing neurotransmitter) helps create calm as well. The right biochemicals are also helpful to support the nerves and nervous system; bringing in relaxant properties.
So what can you do to create a healthy sleep protocol?
Check with your doctor to see if an all-natural, quality sleep supplement would help. It can serve as temporary support at a time when sleep simply isn’t optional.
In addition to support to help create reparative and restorative sleep, it’s also helpful to have a sleep routine and a healthy sleep environment.
Let’s talk about a healthy sleep routine.
For a healthy sleep routine, here’s where you want to create conditions that signal to the body and mind that it’s time to wind down and prepare for a restful night. That means, shutting down all tech way before it is time to sleep. Instead, use that time for something soothing and calming. Take a bath, use calming essential oils, read a book (not one that’ll keep you up and engaged, but a book that’s relaxing), or have some chamomile tea (no caffeine after noon). Through a calming nighttime ritual, you’re letting your body know it’s slowly time to wind down.
A point worth mentioning. Since the thoughts that were able to be put aside during the day come out at night, how do you drown out the sounds and potential images making their way into your mind the minute your head hits the pillow? Of course, these thoughts need to be worked through so avoiding them isn’t the solution. Get support around moving through your experience. But, when they intrude on your sleep, this isn’t the time to do deep, healing work.
So many people I’ve worked with have found that falling to sleep listening to calming music, meditations or an audiobook that helps you feel safe, grounded, and connected can help. What’s also great about this is, instead of marinating on the problem while you sleep, you’re subconsciously helping to reprogram your mind with ideas and concepts more helpful and soothing.
How’s your sleep environment?
Finally, your sleep environment plays a role in restful sleep too. You may think those bright colors, messy room, or cluttered space isn’t vying for your attention…but it is. A cluttered space equals a cluttered mind. Also, those bright colors and other “noise” in your space can be preventing you from the soothing ambiance you need to create a more restful environment.
Whether it’s creating a calming space, restful routine, temporarily supplementing or implementing more healing practices during the day that prevent unprocessed emotions from coming out at night, prioritizing sleep is key to your body, mind, and heart.
Dr. Debi, Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute