I’ll never forget the day the phone rang with news from my daughter’s Girl Scout camp.
The counselor told me she had gotten into a fight and had shoved another girl. To punish her, they had put her in “detention” in one of the cottages.
My heart sank. Confusion and worry flooded me. How was she? What would people think? Was this really my daughter? It really didn’t sound like it…
I jumped in the car and drove to the camp with a knot in my stomach.
When I arrived, I found her sitting alone, her small frame shaking with sobs. She looked up at me through tears and whispered, “I just want to go home.”
In that moment, I had a choice. I could scoop her up and leave, letting her walk away branded as the “bad kid.” Or I could stay long enough to make sure her voice, her side of the story, was heard.
I told her gently, “I won’t let you leave with a negative reputation. I know your perspective hasn’t been understood, and we won’t go until it is.”
That’s when she finally opened up:
“Mom, she was bullying me and calling me names in front of everyone. I asked her again and again to stop, but she wouldn’t. I didn’t know what else to do, so I swung my arm and said stop it! Then I was the one who got in trouble!”
Her sobs broke my heart. She wasn’t a “bad kid.” She was a little girl trying to protect herself from humiliation and cruelty.
I went to the counselor and explained. My daughter didn’t need punishment. She needed someone to listen and definitely needed someone to see all the sides.
That day taught me such an important lesson I’ll never forget: be there for your kid’s side to be heard and believe in them, put your child’s voice first.
If I had rushed in angry or embarrassed, she would never have trusted me enough to tell her truth. And if I had taken her home right away, she would have carried the heartache of being misunderstood and punished for protecting herself.
Yes, sometimes our kids do things that are not okay. But behind every behavior is a need, a story, a reason worth understanding.
When we listen first, we do not just solve the problem, we strengthen the bond.
That day I realized something important: when I put my daughter’s voice first, I did more than resolve a conflict. I showed her she could trust me to listen, even when others would not. That trust is the foundation for connection, cooperation, and resilience.
Just like I learned that day, our parenting patterns shape how we respond to our kids. That is why I created the Six Conscious Parent Archetypes Quiz. Why? Because when you understand your patterns/blindspots, you can parent with more confidence, clarity, and connection.
Which Conscious Parent Archetype Are You?
In just a few minutes, you will discover your personal Conscious Parent Archetype and gain insight into the hidden parenting patterns that may be fueling conflict. You will also learn practical strategies to reduce power struggles, tools to create deeper connection and resilience, and ways to access community support that will help you continue to grow.
Love and Blessings,
Katherine Sellery
