Day #31 – Continuing Improvement

Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers. – Harry Truman

 Read good books with a highlighter in your hand. Mark the passages that stand out. Put the book away and read others. Come back to this book sometime in the future and have a different color highlighter in your hand. Notice that you highlight different passages than you did previously. You are ready to learn something new that you weren’t ready to learn the last time you read that book. Repeat this periodically to learn new things and to remember what you have forgotten since the last reading.

Gather knowledge and apply the learning. Don’t just acquire facts uselessly. Practice what you learn and take notes in your journal about the results. Review your journal frequently and you will learn from yourself. 

Leadership Resources *

Leadership Modules:

The Unbound Leader: Unlocking Your Inner Potential https://synervision.kartra.com/page/unboundleader 

Books:

• Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions (Roberta Gilbert) http://amzn.to/HuEHlG
• Master Leaders: Revealing Conversations with 30 Leadership Greats (George Barna) http://amzn.to/HxjfLS
• Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (Henry Cloud and John Townsend)  http://amzn.to/HVFjQn
• As A Man Thinketh (James Allen) http://amzn.to/MQk1qD
• Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill) http://amzn.to/1teERAl
• Twist: How Fresh Perspectives Build Breakthrough Brands (Julie Cottineau) http://amzn.to/2cBWjx9
• Platform: How to Get Noticed in a Noisy World (Michael Hyatt) http://amzn.to/2cwxAxe
• Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature (Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams) https://amzn.to/2UaUYBx
• Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche (Robert A. Johnson) https://amzn.to/2Ey6q4V
• Ask (Ryan Lesesque) http://amzn.to/2BNnT9e

Articles:

• Conducting Power-Packed Meetings: http://bit.ly/1e1SqeB

Websites:

• Bowen Center (Bowen concepts) http://thebowencenter.org
• Sponsorships (IEG) http://sponsorship.com
• Six Challenges Facing the Nonprofit Sector (Notre Dame) http://bit.ly/2Eb5chG
• Five Challenges All Nonprofit Leaders Must Come To Terms With (Forbes) http://bit.ly/2nGYJkb
• 2011: The Year to Shape Up Nonprofit Boards (FastCompany) http://bit.ly/2Ea4Ovs

Tools:

• Evernote http://evernote.com

Videos:

• TED Talk, Dan Pallotta, “The Way We Think About Charity is Dead Wrong.” http://bit.ly/29LyJOx
• TED Talk, Simon Sinek, “Begin with Why.” https://vimeo.com/108989093

* Links are affiliate links. Proceeds go to my nonprofit, SynerVision Leadership Foundation.

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Define Your Life Goals “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie Now that you’ve defined what you want your life to look like, it’s time to define your achievements in your personal life.   Here’s some examples:

• I have established a nonprofit foundation to continue giving to charities as a legacy
• I have sufficient income to support my lifestyle and to give to charity
• I travel when and where I want to go without out worry about funding or available time

  Here’s the process:

• Get index cards and a marker
• Define specific achievements and state them in present tense as already having been accomplished
• Group the cards by relevance
• Combine similar thoughts for a stronger statement
• Title each grouping
• Sequence the achievements by importance or feasibility
• Transcribe the words onto a document
• Read your goals daily

  Create these so that the enterprise or enterprises you lead will support your life goals   Keep the momentum 

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Managing Self: The Foundation of Leadership   Leaders primarily are influencers. In order to influence others positively, we must first influence ourselves, that is, learn to manage our time, our emotions, our work, and our life.   I’ve been a student of the work of Murray Bowen for over 12 years and have found it to be the most helpful and profound source of leadership knowledge anywhere. The fundamental concept is Differentiation of Self, which is managing self and understanding self. It’s about understanding ourselves by understanding our family of origin and how that has shaped us. It’s also about how to not be trapped by these influences. Our past is neither good nor bad. It just is. We then learn how to move forward and be present as effective leaders.   Here are two themes under the Bowen Concept “Differentiation of Self” which is one of his 8 concepts. There are:

• Anxiety 
• Over Functioning 

  Anxiety is a trap we set for ourselves, which magnifies everything and moves us into emotional decision making from a thinking based decision process. Anxiety also spreads to everyone else in the culture. We might think that we are good at hiding our anxiety, however others sense it and are effected by that anxiety, even if there’s no awareness of that process. Learning to manage our emotions and staying out of emotional leadership is the first duty of any leader. This does not mean that we can’t care about others and care about their emotions. We must stay out of those emotions, which include worry, empathy, fear, control, and other similar feelings. None of those emotions help the other person and certainly don’t make you a better leader.   Emotion based leadership is a downward spiral that leads to an emotional culture. Set the standard and stay balanced.   Creating a set of Guiding Principles for decision making is a way to stay grounded or centered as a leader. See Day 4 of 31 Days to Becoming a Better Leader for Guiding Principles and Day 28 for Managing Stress.   Create your personal set of Guiding Principles and use those to manage self. Bowen called this “Basic Self.” When we act out of those principles, then this is what he called “Pseudo Self.” As a “pleaser” personality, I want people to like me. When I make decisions that are not allowed in my personal Guiding Principles, then I cause problems and actually people ending up not liking me and certainly not respecting me. I’d rather people respect me for abiding with principles rather than try to make them like me.   The top leadership challenge I have experienced in over 31 years of training and coaching leaders, is Over Functioning, that is doing something for someone that they can do themselves. We think that we are being helpful, when in fact people resent what we are doing because they are capable of doing it themselves.    The Transformational Leader defines what they can take off their plate and delegate to someone else. I’ll share more about Transformational Leadership in the next Monday Momentum.   Join the SynerVision Community for Community Builders and get my program 5 Pillars to Success for free. Go to https://synervisionleadership.org and click on “Join.”

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Becoming a Better Leader Monday Momentum

Transformational Leadership Rethinking  Leadership “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams

The definitive leader is a transformational leader. Transformational leadership was birthed from educational systems and the military.  The writings of BM Bass and JM Burns are cited in many, if not most, articles on transformational leadership.  In the best sense, transformational leaders equip and create community.  This community serves the articulated vision by building on the trust created through the integrity of leadership.

Transformational leaders are not intimidated by teams, committees, or boards. Conversely, they lead those groups to fulfilling participation with mutual accountability.  Empowering groups to find their creative balance is a model for transformational leadership, not a weakness as many might think.  The model requires that a leader think thoroughly through each process.  Process builds trust.  Process creates community.  Process itself is a unifying, cooperative force.

Here are the traits of a Transformational Leader:

The transformational leader:

1. Clearly Articulates Vision And Goals
2. Defines Things Others Can Do
3. Builds Leaders Within Teams
4. Effectively Delegates
5. Encourages Boldness
6. Gives Information And Support
7. Affirms And Celebrates Competence
8. Respects The Individual
9. Avoids Micromanaging
10. Models What They Preach

Here is an excerpt from my first book on transformational leadership:

Examine the word `transform`.  It does not merely mean change – or we would use that word. It is a verb with an expanded vision and is much more transcendent.  It implies a deeper, more fundamental alteration of our very form.  To transform.  The continuing process of transformation begins with the moment of inspiration and continues in us through times of action, rest and reflection.  The magic of transformation is absolutely necessary in the world of music.  Transformation occurs not only by chance, but also by direct intention – not only from the leader, but from the participants as well. The results are cumulative. Once the sense of ensemble is achieved and experienced firsthand, it can be believed.

So, why are there not more leaders committed to building the sense of ensemble in all that they undertake? Maybe it’s an educational issue for those whom we lead. Maybe it’s a lack of understanding that the concept of ensemble is transferable from musical groups to other groups. Why is that concept so foreign to people? Why does it seem unobtainable?   Keep the momentum

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Becoming a Better Leader Monday Momentum

Top 5 Leadership Deficits

Top 5 Leadership Deficits

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”– Frederick Douglass

There are many things that we as leaders do that are not effective and many times we actually set up problems or make problems worse. I have mentored and coached leaders in many fields for 31+ years and still have challenges myself in these areas. We are never clear of dysfunction, especially when we are blind to our own deficits. Here’s my list of the top 5 challenges we have as leaders:

1.Over Functioning:Put simply, we do too much. Yes, we do things that other can do for us or for the enterprise we lead. It’s important to remember that being the “Leader” is different from being the “Doer.” The Transformational Leader finds things to assign to others, mentors and coaches as the task is delegated and gets out of the way. Micromanaging in the opposite of this. Assign the task or event, define the specific outcomes, create the accountabilities, and get out of the way. Did I say, get out of the way? Yes, let them do it and check in before deadlines to see where coaching or mentoring can be helpful. When the leader over functions by doing things others can do (and want to do) the response is that they under function. How often do we blame others for not doing what we want when, in fact, we have done the opposite of inspire them. The first duty of the Transformational Leader is to identify and delegate tasks that they don’t need to be doing. And to delegate enough of these to make a difference in time and energy management. Supporting 3 delegations is a practical strategy. You get enough off your place to have time to follow up.

2. No Feedback System:Blind spots are deadly! We don’t see them (hence the name, blind spots) but they see us and they compromise our effectiveness. What we don’t know that we don’t know can limit and even stop our success. Lack of self-awareness is a huge problem that’s a silent killer of attitude with teams. Everybody knows the problem except the leader. Pretending to know what you are doing is deadly and your team will prove to you that you don’t know what you are doing. Every leader needs a group of people who will speak the truth and point out the blind spots – not members of your team, however. This is the primary reason leaders need a coach.

3. The BOSS Paradigm: Not understanding how leadership works in today’s world is a set back to leaders. The old autocratic paradigm of the BOSS isn’t really the best model for the current culture. The boss model is dead. The influencer model is alive and thriving. The answer is to be able to communicate accurately what you want and then be able to mentor and coach the person to success. 

4. Not Managing Emotions: An emotional leader creates anxiety in the culture. This anxiety replaces logical thinking with emotional reacting. The leader’s ability to manage self is key to the success. If the leader isn’t disciplined, then the team isn’t disciplined. If the leader is emotional, the team is emotional. The culture is a reflection of the leader. To be able to manage self, create guiding principles to guide decision making and to keep yourself regulated. See podcast #4 “Guiding Principles” for more information. 

5. Poor Communication Skills: Educators tell us that people remember only 10% of what they hear and only 20% of what they see. Wow, it’s no wonder people get things wrong. It might also be HOW it’s communicated that causes the problem. Unclear and incomplete messages cause lots of problems and give those who are trying to dodge accountability an opportunity to place blame on someone else. Sending email as the primary communication causes many problems and is a topic for another session. The next statistic is that when hearing and seeing are combined the retention goes up to 65% or more. When there’s an activity or dialogue included the response. Here’s the solution: be sure the message is accurate and check for understanding, ask for a response to be sure that the message was received and understood. Communication is a two-way activity.

The big picture for leadership for me is to continue working on skills and systems and learn from what doesn’t work – I call these “Learning Opportunities” rather than failures. The only failure is the failure to learn from ourselves.

Keep the momentum.

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Becoming a Better Leader Monday Momentum

Communication is Based on Relationship

We constantly focus on communication as an isolated process, when, in fact, it’s related to how we relate to others. Communication is based on relationship and not simply on data. – Hugh Ballou

Validation Is Asking the Right Questions

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw

Did you get my email? 

“Did you get my email?” is a typical question from those who think that communication is about data. Many times the email is sent just prior to a scheduled time for personal interaction. The question also reveals the person’s lack of social skill and knowledge about how communication works.

In the early days of personal computers, the computer would send a document to the printer without any error-checking capability or validating cue to know if the printer received the file, had paper and ink, and was, in fact, printing the document. Business computers had the ability to receive a “handshake” cue from the printer validating the information needed, to know that the printer could complete the job.

When the job was complete, the printer sent another cue to acknowledge that the job was finished. Now, all computers do this as a matter of routine. It’s expected.

We don’t have a similar process in human communications. We send an email with no validation that the recipient has actually gotten the message and was able to read it. We assume that they got it, read it, and actually cared about it.

The bottom line with this is that communication is not about data. Effective communication is based on relationship. Building relationship is good leadership and builds good communication. The message, including the necessary data, is also essential for communication.

The email scenario I mentioned above is a toxic habit we have developed in our current era. We send data and don’t have any clue that it has been received, understood, or accepted. We are buried in messages, many of which are not messages we want to read. Cutting through the noise of communication is essential.

Here is my list of skills needed to be an effective communicator: 

Listening – As a musical conductor, I regard listening as a top leadership skill. Active listening is the key. Active listening includes the skills listed below, however, listening is the core skill. Communication is part transmission and part reception. When listening to someone, do not be afraid of leaving some silence after the other person finishes talking. Silence gives clarity. Silence validates that you have listened. Silence provides a time for preparing a thoughtful response. Listening is communication by caring and understanding.

Presenting – Leaders are people of influence. When leaders speak, it’s important to understand the influence that goes with the speaking; in fact, speaking is presenting as if to an audience. We present because we have valuable things to say. Be thoughtful and craft thoughts into meaningful, prepared presentations. There may be only one chance for getting a point across. Presenting is communicating with a message, a vision, and emotion.

Observing – Much happens in group interaction and in conversations that is missed. Leaders who observe what’s happening around them remain able to respond to what’s really happening. Observing is communication by recognizing what people have understood and what they need to understand.

Questioning – Effective leaders do not have to know all the right answers. Effective leaders ask good questions and then listen carefully to the response. Effective leaders lead by asking questions that help others develop skills and create their own answers, rather than telling others what to do. Telling others what to do shuts down their interaction and discourages independent thinking. Questioning is communication by stimulating individual thinking and problem solving.

Connecting – Leaders value team members as individuals, not only as functioning placeholders on the team. Connect to people as individuals and recognize them as a person first, and then a team member second. Connecting is communication through relationship building.

Focusing – Leading others depends on clarity of outcome and ability to focus on what is most important. Stay focused and others will respond in kind. Focus is communication through action.

This is a tall order. Leaders are not perfect. Leaders are always moving toward better, more complete systems and skills.

Keep the momentum.

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Balance: Getting and Staying Centered

In this episode, I’m starting to focus on my “Four Leadership Principles”: Foundations, Relationships, Systems, and Balance. Today we focus on balance. Even though it’s the fourth principle, it’s the one that makes the others work. If we can’t manage our use of time, the musical version of this principle is “Value the Rests.” In music the rests have a distinctive purpose and are not just the absence of sound. They are punctuation. They are a regrouping of energy. They are times used to clarify and cleanse the auditory palate. 

Balance has several dimensions:

• Work/Life Balance 

• Balancing Multiple Tasks and Priorities 

• Balance of Self: Physical, Emotional, Spiritual, and Discernment 


You may be able to think of other ways balance is important to you and how to define that dimension.

There’s also the internal and external dimension to notice and regulate:

Internal

• Mental – Growing in knowledge and experience challenging our intellect 

• Emotional – Learning to separate feeling from thinking and being able to fully give and receive love 

• Physical– Staying healthy by managing diet, exercise, and the rhythm of life 


External

• Work– Setting boundaries so work doesn’t encroach on personal life while being effective in productive work 

• Family– Being differentiated so we remain ourselves and don’t get sucked into dramas while spending quaility time with family members 

• Recreation– Managing use of time by putting recreation and social time on our calendar  


 When planning for the enterprise you lead, be sure to plan for your life as well. Then integrate the two plans. Balance doesn’t mean that everything is equal. Balance means that we highlight what’s more important and place it in perspective with everything else. Many times we need to consider letting go of something in order or achieve what’s most important to us. 

Being centered in this sense is being grounded in solid principles. 

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Balance…or Not!

I’m writing a new book. I’m thinking of calling it Adrenaline as a Way of Life. Or maybe I’ll try Time: There Will Never be Enough of It, So Squander What You’ve Got. Here’s a sneak peak at my chapter outline.

Chapter One: E-mergency

Answer all emails at once. Do not delay. Stop whatever you are doing and answer that baby.

Chapter Two: Adrenaline is My Motivator

Save tasks that are “due today” until the last hour, better yet, the last half hour of your workday so you will have the added energy boost of adrenaline to help you complete your tasks.

Chapter Three: Be a Hog

Hog the copier. Put off using office machines until the last possible minute, never mind if your colleagues need them.

Chapter Four: Under-prepare for Meetings/Rehearsals

That way you’ll find out what you’re really made of. Can you fly by the seat of your pants? Are you great at improvisation? Can you fake it in front of a group?

Chapter Five: Don’t Bother Planning Ahead, Wait Until the Last Minute

Careful planning is over rated! Panic provides lots of energy for a task. It’s contagious too, so if you can get other people panicked about a mutual project, just think of all the energy!

Chapter Six: Don’t organize your stuff.

That last minute search for materials provides a great panic push just when you need an extra shot of adrenaline.

Chapter Seven: Run

Don’t walk, run. Run to the workroom, to the bathroom, to your car. Run yellow lights. Heck, run red ones. That gets everyone excited!

Chapter Eight: Do One More Thing

Do one more thing before you leave. That will insure being late.

Chapter Nine: Shallow Breathing

Be sure to keep your breath short and rapid. Mimic panic in your breathing at all times. Remember, you don’t have time to take a deep breath.

Chapter Ten: Run Late

Show up at the last minute, or better yet, arrive late. Increase every one’s anxiety level!

Chapter Eleven: Yell

Yell at everyone when you are running late. If there is no one there, yell at the empty house. Yell at other cars, yell under your breath or right out loud at anyone or anything that gets in your way.

Chapter Twelve: Fast

Eat in the car. Even better, don’t eat at all. Being hungry increases your discomfort level and decreases your functioning level which will force your adrenaline to kick in and do it’s magic. When you do eat, gorge on foods that are bad for you.

Chapter Thirteen: Blame

Blame other people, blame your life situation, blame the traffic, blame the stoplights, blame your mother. Blame anything or anyone you can think of for anything and everything.

Chapter Fourteen: Calendar, Schmalandar

Don’t bother double-checking your calendar for appointments. Better yet, don’t write them down in the first place. If they really need you, they’ll call you.

I wrote this as a joke in a particularly busy season in my life and shared it at a staff meeting as a way of apologizing to my colleagues for my hyper-anxious state of being at work. I wish I could say those things are exaggerations, but they are based on the truth of how out of balance my life was at that time.

This winter, as I enter a very busy season once again, I’m attempting to do things differently. Like taking time daily for prayer, exercise, good nutrition, and Sabbath rest. As an experiment, I’m going to take one workday a month out of the office to be still and pray. It’s already making me nervous but I’m determined to do it to break the habits I wrote about in my “book”.

As I attempt to regain balance in my work schedule, I hope you’ll be encouraged to do the same. May God bless us on our journey

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Books   Here’s my list of the top 10 books to develop and to stay on top as a leader:

1. Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill https://amzn.to/2IenAVY 
2. Napoleon Hill On the Air, Napoleon Hill transcriptions https://amzn.to/2Z7YZsS
3. Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions, by Roberta Gilbert https://amzn.to/2MtNF8I
4. The Tao of Leadership, by John Heider https://amzn.to/2IdLhO9
5. As a Man Thinketh  by James Allen https://amzn.to/2F1JOtF
6. The Tyranny of the Urgent, by Charles E Hummel https://amzn.to/2IedMeH
7. Transforming Leadership, by James Macgregor Burns https://amzn.to/2QGtX8e
8. Master Leaders: Revealing Conversations with 30 Leadership Greats, by George Barna https://amzn.to/2EReb5J
9. Transforming Power: Stories from Transformational Leaders for Encouragement and Inspiration, by Hugh Ballou  https://amzn.to/2IjH4sj
10. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You, John Maxwell https://amzn.to/2MuD51e

Many good thoughts in each of these. I will be mentioning all of these in future sessions.

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