How to Negotiate Your Abundance Part IV

I felt compelled to write this series as too many people seem to be suffering in these unusual times, holding themselves in a place of fear, blocking themselves from stepping into the abundance that surrounds them. We all deserve abundance. You deserve an abundant life. Now is your time to embrace it.

So far we’ve explored (i) the psychology of wealth as the foundation for your maximum success ; (ii) abundance blocks stopping you from achieving the success you deserve ; (iii) how to manifest your desire. Today we were going to canvass some exercises to deepen your appreciation of this important subject. However, as noted above, in Part I we explored the importance of having an abundant mindset i.e. that to attain true wealth you need to develop the psychology of wealth. I received some questions about that and so think it’s worthwhile to explore the power of beliefs in a little more depth.

Power of Beliefs

Never under-estimate the power of your beliefs. I was able to successfully start my own law firm, against all odds, because I had an unshakable belief that it would happen. Ironically, I can’t profess that I was enlightened at the time and invoked the power of positive thinking with intention. Frankly, I was just lucky enough that I didn’t know any better. Having grown up in a low rental apartment building to a family that owned virtually no assets and had no business experience, I had very little knowledge about how the business world worked. And so, when I decided to start my own firm, I just assumed, with the naiveté of youth, that of course it would happen. It didn’t cross my mind that I would even hit any roadblocks, let alone the possibility of failure.

In hindsight, that naiveté was my greatest asset. It was my absolute unquestioning conviction that it would come to pass that allowed me to show up with the confidence to make it happen. I had no money, no assets, no credit, no clients assured, no space secured – not even a business plan to speak of. All the odds were stacked against me. But I didn’t know it. And that was a gift. When I met with the bank manager, I exuded such certainty that she gave me a line of credit to get started. The other beauty of my ignorance is that the line of credit was actually so modest that it shouldn’t really have sufficed. But again, given my background, it seemed like a lot of money to me. I felt rich. I felt abundant. And so I was.

I went on to grow a multi-million-dollar law firm – because I believed I could.

The opposite is also true. As we discussed in Part II, when we carry money baggage and blocks, we can undermine our success and prospects. If you recall, I shared that I had resistance to money, having grown up believing that the rich were greedy and exploitative. Money doesn’t go where it’s not wanted and so I repelled the fullness of success that could have been mine … until I was able to let go of that baggage.

By way of example, I remember the first time we bought a Cadillac Escalade. I loved that vehicle. It was the lushest and smoothest riding vehicle I’d ever owned. But I confess that at some level I was embarrassed of it. It seemed decadent and extravagant. As if I’d turned my back on my roots. When I drove up to a hearing location, if I saw my clients outside the building, I’d drive around to the back so they couldn’t see me show up in my fancy wheels. And what do you think happened to my beloved Cadillac? We lost it. We ran into a tight financial spot and ended up trading in the Cadillac to lease a lesser vehicle. I’m now convinced that it was my resistance, my baggage, my blocks that caused me to self-sabotage and lose the vehicle.

Can you think of an example in your life where you’ve self-sabotaged and prevented yourself from getting to the next level?

Fear of Failure

Also as touched on in Part II, our fears can block our abundance in life. Fear of failure is a big culprit in this regard. Allow me to try to shift your mindset on the issue of failure. What if instead of mourning your failures and hanging your head in mortified dejection, you celebrated them? What if failure is the only path to sustainable success, if you need to fail your way to success, to go through failure to succeed?

Thomas Edison ‘failed’ at creating the light bulb countless times. It was only through those failures, and his persistence and willingness to fail that he achieved success. Is he known for the so-called failures? No. He’s lauded as a genius. Abraham Lincoln apparently failed twice in business and lost 8 out of 10 elections before becoming President of the United States. Do you remember Lincoln for those failures? No. He’s credited with abolishing slavery and considered by many to be the most influential U.S. President in history.

It’s through your failures that you learn, grow, improve and ultimately succeed. Be willing to fail better. I invite you to start a new tradition. In addition to your celebrations, incorporate failabrations; celebrate your failures and recognize that without them you wouldn’t find your way forward. Letting go of your fear of failure will help catapult you to your abundant new self.

Fear of ‘No’

Similarly, fear of ‘no’ will sabotage you from leading your most abundant life. What if women suffragists had given up fighting for the right to vote after being told ‘no’? What if abolitionists like Harriet Tubman and the countless other brave women who fought against slavery had given up when told ‘no’? You get the idea. I invite you to consider that your fear of rejection, of hearing the word ‘no’ may be the thing standing between you and your best self – between you and getting what you want and deserve (from the boardroom to the bedroom).

Check out our blogpost Go For No on this exact issue, where we explore the secret to shift your mindset and to desensitize yourself to the word ‘no’ and to use it as a source of empowerment.

Power of Questions

What’s another positive strategy to help you step into more abundance? Tied to the power of our beliefs is the power of questions. If you ask bad questions, you’ll get bad answers. The opposite is also true. If you ask better questions, you’ll get better answers. Maybe it’s time to start asking yourself better questions.

Your brain gives you what it thinks you want. It determines what it thinks you want by the thoughts you feed it. If you expect the worst and ask negative questions, your brain will look for examples to support the negative thoughts, thinking it’s giving you what you want. Why not train your brain to give you the best, to think the best, to expect the best, and to look for examples of the best the world has to offer?

The reticular activating system of our brain is like a supercomputer. Think of it like a Google search bar. If you ask limiting questions, you’ll get limiting answers. If you train yourself to ask more empowered and empowering questions, you’ll get more empowered and empowering answers and so be able to lead a more powerful life.

I invite you to get out of the habit of asking limiting questions like, “Why does nothing good ever happen to me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the world?” Imagine instead, waking up every day and asking yourself, “How can I share even more joy, gratitude and love today?” Can you feel the difference in that? When you start each day with that empowering question, your brain will look for solutions and examples. What’s a positive powerful question you could ask yourself today that if your brain put energy into solving it would give you better results?

I encourage you to get intentional about choosing a mindset of hope, optimism and abundance. That starts with asking yourself more powerful questions.

I hope this has given you food for thought on your path to greater abundance.