Sending Email Doesn’t Mean That People Read Your Message

By Hugh Ballou

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Did you get my email?”

It’s a common question. But the very act of asking it reveals a deeper issue: a misunderstanding of what true communication really is. Many leaders assume that hitting send is the same as being heard. But leadership is not about data transfer, it’s about influence, clarity, and connection.

In the early days of personal computers, documents were sent to printers with no confirmation that the printer was receiving the file, had enough paper, or was ready to print. Business systems later introduced a “handshake” response that signals confirming receipt and completion. Today, we take this verification process for granted.

But in human communication, we rarely build in such safeguards. We send an email and assume the recipient:

• Got it.
• Read it.
• Understood it.
• Cared enough to act on it.

That’s a dangerous illusion. Effective leaders understand that communication is not about data, it’s about transformation.

Communication as a Leadership Skill

As a conductor, I know that every gesture has meaning. The slightest cue can inspire unity—or create confusion. Communication for leaders works the same way. It’s more than words. It’s a symphony of listening, presenting, observing, questioning, connecting, and focusing.

Listening: Communication by Caring

Active listening is the bedrock of leadership. It’s not waiting to talk—it’s tuning into both the content and the emotion behind the words. In rehearsal, silence after a phrase lets the music resonate. In leadership, silence after someone speaks validates that you care and gives space for clarity.

Application: After a team member shares an idea, pause. Don’t rush in. That silence communicates, “I heard you, and I’m considering what you said.”

Presenting: Communication with Impact

Leaders are people of influence. Every time we speak, we are presenting—whether it’s a board meeting, a sermon, or a hallway conversation. Too often, leaders speak casually and miss the opportunity to inspire.

Application: Prepare your words as you would prepare a performance. Craft your message with intention, clarity, and emotional resonance. You may only get one chance to be heard.

Observing: Communication Beyond Words

In music, the conductor reads the room: posture, focus, energy. Leaders must do the same. People communicate as much by what they don’t say as by what they do.

Application: Notice the body language in meetings. Are people leaning in or tuning out? Observe before you speak. You’ll know what needs to be addressed.

Questioning: Communication That Empowers

Transformational leaders don’t need all the answers. They lead with questions that spark thinking and empower others to find solutions.

Application: Instead of saying, “Here’s what you should do,” ask, “What options do you see?” or “What outcome would you like to create?” This shifts communication from directive to developmental.

Connecting: Communication Through Relationship

Musicians don’t respond to a baton—they respond to the conductor. Why? Because the relationship gives the baton meaning. In leadership, connection makes influence possible.

Application: Know your team members beyond their roles. Recognize them as people first, team members second. A short personal conversation can build trust that fuels long-term performance.

Focusing: Communication Through Action

A conductor sets the tempo and keeps the ensemble focused. Leaders must do the same. Clarity of outcome and alignment of action are essential.

Application: Keep communication anchored to the mission. Cut through noise by reinforcing what matters most. When the leader stays focused, the team will too.

Raising the Bar in Communication

Sending an email isn’t communication. Posting an announcement isn’t communication. True communication happens when influence takes root, when people understand not only the message but also the purpose behind it.

As leaders, we must stop confusing activity with effectiveness. Our role is not to push out information—it is to create transformation.

Transformational leadership begins with communication that is:

• Intentional (not casual)
• Relational (not transactional)
• Focused (not scattered)
• Empowering (not controlling)

When you master these skills, you move beyond the illusion of communication. You begin orchestrating results, much like a conductor draws music from silence into harmony.

The bottom line: Don’t just send messages—make sure your communication inspires action, understanding, and alignment.