016: Help vs. Fix
Are you a “Fixer”? Do you know a “Fixer’? Most are well intended and strive to present a solution when someone they know has a problem. But how do we know if we are empowering someone to help themselves or rescuing them? Where does this instinct to jump in and solve come from? Is it arrogance or perhaps co-dependence?
Join host Mike Domitrz as he welcomes CAST members Dr. Sam Alper, Rick Clemons, and Darren Tipton as they chat about how to recognize the triggers, which lead us to intervene. As the conversation evolves, they share simple but effective tips on how to empower vs. taking the power and how to be open to having others to pull help from us instead of pushing it upon another.
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[1:17] Mike shares the event that spurred this discussion.
[4:14] How to recognize when you are fixing, vs. helping?
[7:53] Questions which get to the heart of supporting people.
[16:37] What triggers lead the CAST to project their fixes onto other people?
[19:55] How we can keep ourselves from going into fix mode.
[24:41] The CAST recommends books about how to help.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Dr. Samuel J. Alper is the founder of Process Human Factors Consulting, LLC. He stated the company based on a desire to help businesses improve their workplace, improve how they get things done, and realize that such improvement is attainable. His approach empowers business people to identify specific actions they can take to meet their goals. An engineer, juggler, and new father, Sam was recently honored when a business colleague referred to him as a “fellow nerd.”
Rick Clemons is the Author of Frankly My Dear I’m Gay, Host of The Coming Out Lounge podcast, certified life coach, TEDx Speaker, world record holder, and a guy who’s helped 1000’s of people in over 50 countries across the globe come out of the closets of their lives to escape their bullshit, explore their fears, and elevate their f*cking self-expression.
Volunteerism and service transform communities and bring purpose to life! For twenty years, Darren Tipton has been challenging people to volunteer. He is the inspiration of the volunteer mobilization resource: “Kathatika” — a call to volunteer action bringing awareness of the infinite impact of volunteer service, and the co-author of the community-based engagement curriculum of Story to Service. He’s the founder of Project Humanity, a nonprofit focused on empowering women in Africa.