How Long Will You Carry Your Burdens?How Long Will You Carry Your Burdens? https://c-suitenetwork.com/advisors/wp-content/themes/csadvisore/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Greg Williams, MN, CSP https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/1f08a50bcaed92eae0990a65c7808a62?s=96&d=mm&r=g
“Burdens will enslave you. Set yourself free by releasing them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
The rod broke! It was repaired – clothes were placed back on it – it broke again, was repaired again and now it had fallen again. The rod gave way to the burden of the weight it carried.
In life, you too carry burdens. They come in the form of anxiety, stress, disappointment, perceived rejection, lack of perceived success, and what may appear to be mayhem. When encumbered by them, you’re delayed from swifter movement until you’re able to rid yourself of them. Between those points, those burdens weigh you down – they cause you not to be as efficient as you otherwise would be – they wreak havoc in your life, which spills over to those closest to you. They cause your life to be a hell on earth. Stop the madness! Control your burdens.
Over an extended time, the rod was slowly bending to the will of the weight it bore. The slowly yielding process that sapped the strength of the rod occurred at such a leisurely pace, the naked eye couldn’t recognize what was happening. That’s what occurs to you when you have too much of a burden to carry. The weight of it slowly causes you to denigrate into a state of decline. If recognition occurred sooner, you could address the situation before it sapped you of your vitality.
So why don’t you recognize when a burden is becoming too uncomfortable to endure before it becomes too uncomfortable to endure? The answer is, your psyche tells you that you can bear the discomfort – you can take the pain. It won’t last much longer – be tough! While that can serve as a great source of motivation in the right situation, it’s a double-edged sword. Thus, if not controlled, it can leave you in an uncontrollable state.
When you’re besieged by heavy burdens, don’t let them weigh you down – you already know the consequences of that. When you’re beleaguered by thoughts of uncertainty that assail your mind, listen to those signals. They’re warning you that your load is too heavy – it’s akin to your engine light flashing red. At a minimum, recognize and acknowledge that you’re in an area that may be fraught with potential danger.
The rod broke because the heft upon it was too great a load to sustain. Like the rod, your life will also break if you don’t castoff burdens that are too great for you to the harbor.
If you sense too many obstacles are creating too many burdens for you to bear, shed them from your life. Your load will be lighter. You will be able to move more freely as you move towards greater goals that will improve your life. You will have freed yourself to be freer to achieve more and be more of what you were meant to be … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
Negotiators bring their burdens into the negotiation. Those burdens cause them to react in different ways depending on the gravity of them. Thus, their burdens impact the negotiation process.
Just like people move quicker away from something that’s too painful and more slower towards pleasure, so will they release a burden when it becomes too cumbersome to bear in a negotiation. What that suggests is, depending on the negotiator type that you’re negotiating with, you can use the weight of a burden or the release of it (pleasure) to motivate him to adopt one position versus another. The one you choose would be dependent on which served you best. And that would be dependent on the situation and the individual.
While burdens can be cumbersome, recognizing the value of using them as a tool during a negotiation can work to your benefit. Thus, if your burden is too heavy during a negotiation, attempt to transfer it to the other negotiator. You’ll get a reaction from him – note it. If he displays discomfort, extend an offer to relieve him of that burden. He’ll be grateful to you for having done so. You will have taken the burden that you gave him back. But you will have also gained a better position in the negotiation for doing so.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
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After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
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