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3 Skills to Demonstrate Executive Presence

Have you ever seen someone whose presence takes command the moment they enter a room? They don’t attract attention because they are loud or flashy. They exude a silent confidence seen and felt by others. They speak in a way that draws people in. Their influence encourages others to willingly act upon what they say.

Think of someone you know with executive presence. Chances are, you can’t put your finger on any one single skill they possess, rather a combination of attributes that makes them uniquely influential.

Executive presence requires work. It means admitting the skills it took to reach your current level of success are not enough to guarantee continued success. It goes beyond just wanting to get better. It requires a willingness to disrupt your old habits and a commitment to practice skills even when they feel unnatural. If you are ready to do the work, these 3 skills will help you achieve the executive presence needed to have influence.

  1. Clearly Convey Your Vision

Executive presence, like influence, isn’t granted with years of experience or a fancy title. Leaders demonstrate executive presence when they can clearly communicate their vision. Too often, leaders fail to influence others because their message is long and hard to follow. When I ramble or take too long to reach a point, my coach says to me “Commit to a lane and land the plane.” To have influence, your message must land in a way that is clear, concise, and easy to remember.  Words matter. Clarity yields confidence.

  1. Encourage Accountability

Executive presence grows when leaders encourage and empower employees to prioritize their own self-development. Influence is the direct result of respect, credibility, and trust earned from others. Grow your influence by encouraging your team to grow their own. Studies show people retain only 5% of what they hear, 10% of what they read, and 90% of what they teach others. Develop your employees’ ability to influence others by creating an accountability program. Establish accountability partnerships among employees that provide productive feedback on ways to improve each other’s communication skills.  Growing their influence will result in growing your own.

  1. Ditch Self Doubt

Confidence is the one word most associated with executive presence. When people consider someone they believe to have influence, they often describe them as confident; and yet, too often we allow self-doubt to steal our confidence. We allow insecurities to creep into our thoughts, resulting in our use of words and body language that reflects our deep-seated doubt. When unsure of our ideas, we tend to change our tone and rate of speech. We slouch. Our eyes dart when speaking, and we fail to connect with our listeners in a way that makes an impact. When you speak, focus on how you convey your message, even if you’re feeling insecure. Stand up tall, with your shoulders back and hands comfortably at your side. Make deliberate eye contact when you speak, only breaking long enough to pause between topics. You may feel unsure on the inside, but your communication skills will convey confidence.

Every professional who exhibits executive presence chose at some point in their career to become a better communicator. Use these three tips and make the choice to become better today.

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness

Betrayal-What it Is, What it Does

How do you heal when a friend shares your most intimate secrets with the outside world? How do you get beyond losing a promotion after being stabbed in the back by a co-worker? How do you make something positive out of a partner or spouse cheating on you?

The pain of being stabbed in the back or worse yet, the heart, is very real and multi-dimensional. It impacts us mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Every relationship has rules- both spoken and unspoken. Over time, we come to believe that if we play by those rules, we will be safe, happy, and fulfilled.

When someone betrays us, they break those rules and it impacts us on every level.

The impact of betrayal is not only real and multifaceted but also ranges in intensity based on how close you are to your betrayer. The more you trusted and depended on the person who betrayed you, the more intense the effects. For example, let’s take a child who is betrayed by a parent and your coworker who took the credit for your idea. Both are betrayals but there’s a different level of cleanup left in the wake of each experience.

In fact, there’s a collection of symptoms (physical, mental and emotional) so common to betrayal it’s become known as Post Betrayal Syndrome.

People who have been betrayed can suffer from a wide range of emotional symptoms such as sadness, anger, stress, rejection, fear, irritability, depression, and abandonment. They can also suffer from physical and mental ailments as well. In my Ph.D. study on betrayal, I studied what holds us back, what helps us heal, and what happens to us physically, mentally, and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive. A staggering percentage were found to suffer from low energy, extreme fatigue/exhaustion, digestive issues, weight issues, and more. Add to that how common it is to also feel overwhelmed, shocked, unable to focus and concentrate. [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32023″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fexecutive-membership|||”] According to the study, betrayal also shatters our worldview. That’s our mental model, the rules that govern us and prevent chaos. This is where the shock of the experience hits us hard. The rules we’ve believed in and counted on have all been broken. The bottom has just bottomed out on us and a new foundation hasn’t been formed yet-it can feel terrifying.

Healing from betrayal can be scary and messy, which is why some people continue to stay stuck. The good news is that moving forward is not only possible, it’s predictable with the right strategies. You can not only rebuild your worldview, you can do it in a way to become your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual best. That’s the silver lining of the dark betrayal cloud. You can come out of it stronger, wiser, healthier, and more empowered than ever before and yes, you can learn to trust again.

When you heal, mentally, you’ll be able to focus on what you choose to pay attention to. Physically, you’ll feel more energetic, healthier, and stronger. Emotionally, you’ll be calmer, centered, and confident. Spiritually, you’ll find the gift in the experience. What had become your life’s story will become a pivotal chapter in your next story. This isn’t just a hopeful idea. It’s predictable when you move through The Five Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough. You’ve been through the worst of it already, you owe it to yourself to do something good with something so painful. When you do, that’s trauma well served. That’s Post Betrayal Transformation.

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32020″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fexecutive-membership|||”]

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